Armilla
by Coral Grace
Summary: Follows the troubled path of fifth year Ravenclaw student, Armilla Kemp, when she is suddenly placed in the care of Professor Snape. NOT a romance fic or cliched story. Set in OotP. Complete.
1. Prologue

A/N If you are reading this story for the first time, don't be put off by the shorter chapters in the beginning; I assure you that they get much longer as the story goes on. The prologue is very different to the rest of the story, which will be narrated from Armilla's point of view. This story was completed over nearly three years and in that time the characters certainly developed during the journey I spent with them. I hope you enjoy the story as much as the readers who followed it at the time I was writing it. I still welcome any feedback. I am currently working on the sequel to this story, so if you enjoy _Armilla_ I recommend you read her continuing story. Coral Grace.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Prologue

Not a sound could be heard in the dark, deserted street. The leaves on trees were quite still with the absence of a breeze. The chill in the air was enough to create an intense feeling of discomfort in the atmosphere. Every building in the street was in complete ruin. Shattered glass lay on the road amongst the once loved possessions of the inhabitants. What was perhaps the most disturbing thought was that only half an hour before, the lights had been on in every house, laughter had come from the families inside, and their televisions could be heard through the open windows by the night strollers walking their dogs.

But now, all was quiet as a group of Aurors and workers from the Ministry of Magic made their way into the street. Any conversation was minimal as they all took in the horrific scene before them.

"You-Know-Who has a sick sense of fun," a gruff voice muttered.

"Do you think it was him directly?" came another, younger voice.

"Of course not," the gruff voice answered. "He wouldn't carry out something like this himself. He'd save himself for people who are a threat to him in the wizarding community. This street was all muggle. He's sent out his followers to do this."

Three more people came to join the group after inspecting one side of the street.

"Any survivors?" said one of the people, her tone giving away that she had asked a pointless question. Rescuers.

"No, no survivors."

The group split up and they wandered throughout the ruins of the houses, looking for traces of dark magic or any evidence pointing directly to Death Eaters. At one end of the street, a faint cry was suddenly heard.

"What the…?" A woman ran into the ruins of the last house, hoping to hear the cry again to give her some direction. Her hopes were answered by another muffled cry, coming from underneath a small pile of debris.

"What is it, Merle?"

"It's a baby! Get the others and come quick. The child is scarcely breathing."

A group had crowded around Merle within seconds. Each was stunned that this baby could have been found alive. A few had their wands pointed at the child and were muttering enchantments to help her breathe better before they took her to St Mungo's.

"She must have lost her parents," said a sad voice. "Poor little muggle."

"What is that flashing on the child's wrist?"

Merle looked down at the left wrist of the child in her arms. The child was wearing a silver bracelet with no clasp. It had a small oval-shaped locket attached to it with an emerald on it. The emerald was now flashing and giving off a faint, green beam of light.

"What on earth is that thing?" someone asked.

"That baby is no muggle," said one of the Aurors. "That bracelet holds an extremely powerful piece of magic. Several hundred of those bracelets were produced a thousand years ago and only witches could wear them. The magic within them helps protect the wearer when in peril. It will not save the wearer from death, but will prolong it. That must be why the child is still alive."

"How on earth do you know that, Rolf?"

Rolf smiled grimly. "My wife has one; a constant reminder of her pureblood heritage. Seeing as she despises her family and everything they stand for, she loathes that fact that she can't get it off."

"But where would a muggle born child have gotten one of these?"

Rolf shook his head. "The child must be a pureblood. These bracelets are only worn by witches in the pureblood families. It _is_ odd though that this child should be in a muggle neighbourhood."

"We're best getting her off to St Mungo's now," said another Auror, taking charge. "We can worry about where the family is later."

"_Dead_, I would say, Clarence," said Rolf, staring at the ruins around him.

"Try and be a _little_ optimistic, Rolf," said Merle, glancing up from the baby in her arms. "I do hope she has a family, poor little thing."

"Will you two take her to St Mungo's?" asked Clarence. "You can meet us back at the ministry later."

"Certainly," Merle answered, staring down at the baby once more. "She's such a dear little thing, isn't she?"

"Now isn't the time to go all maternal on us, Merle," said Rolf gruffly, steering her out of the street.

Merle glared back at him. "Maternal indeed! I won't have time to be maternal towards the child. I'm just leaving her at St Mungo's where I'm sure the Family Services department will do their best to track down her family. This will be a distant memory in a few weeks time, so let me enjoy holding her now."

Rolf rolled his eyes as Merle cooed at the baby. He tried not to smile as the baby fixed Merle with a bewildered look instead of a giggle, which Merle had clearly been hoping for.

"Don't get too attached, Merle," he said, as they moved to a safe place to Disapparate. "If the child does have family, I'm sure they'll be prejudiced old fools just like my wife's family."


	2. Back to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 1

Well, here I was sitting alone on the Hogwarts Express, feeling extremely lonely and utterly bored. It wasn't that I was being unsociable or anything, and that there were lots of chatting students in other compartments who I refused to join. There weren't any. All the compartments were empty except for mine, and I had to admit that the thought of being alone on the train kind of irked me.

I was starting my fifth year at Hogwarts a week late and Professor Dumbledore actually arranged for the Hogwarts Express to make a special trip for me. I thought that was a little ridiculous, sending a whole train for one student, but he seemed to think it was safer than having me attempt to get to Hogwarts by my own means and you don't question Dumbledore's judgement.

I was arriving a week late for the school year because my guardian, Merle Kemp, had taken ill over the summer and she had not been expected to live. Thankfully she had pulled through, and though she was still very weak, she was finally recovering. She had now been out of danger for a few days and I had been told not to fuss about her health any longer and at her insistence I packed to go back to school.

Professor Dumbledore had been wonderful. I knew he had a lot to deal with already with the Order and all. Merle had been a member of the Order of the Phoenix before You-Know-Who's first downfall and Merle had rejoined 'the old crowd' for week or two when the Order had reformed after the end of the Triwizard Tournament. She had been forced to stop her work for the Order when she had become ill.

A friend of Merle's, Matilda, was staying with her at home while she recovered. I was glad she had someone with her. We didn't have many neighbours. There was a man next door who had been friendly with Merle for years. I never got to know Shar well and I didn't really want to anyway. He was one of those people who seemed to prowl instead of walk and lurked in corners and then spoke out of the blue. Though he was been friendly with Merle, he generally looked at me through narrowed eyes, as if my presence caused him great annoyance. He never showed this in front of Merle; in Merle's presence he was usually very polite to me.

In all honestly I thought that he would like nothing more than for me to find my real family and go and live with them. He seemed to want to have Merle's company all to himself. I had been living with Merle since I was about sixteen months old. What I knew about my identity was very little. I had no idea what my real name was or if I had any family. All I knew was what Merle had told me about the night she had found me, only days before the downfall of You-Know-Who in 1981.

On this particular night, a large group of Death Eaters attacked a muggle area and practically wiped out a whole neighbourhood. I was found amongst the ruins, barely alive. The only reason I was alive was because of a silver bracelet on my left wrist. It had a small oval-shaped locket attached to it and when I was found the emerald on it was flashing. This immediately told the magical folk who found me that I was a witch. It would not save the wearer from death, but would prolong it. That was why I had not died on that terrible night many years ago. An Auror named Rolf had told Merle that the bracelet vanishes off the wrist of the wearer when she dies and reappears on the wrist of the next female in that family. I was not sure if that was true. If it was, then my mother must be dead.

I had no idea how to get the bracelet off. I had tried all sorts of charms to remove it, but it continually refused to leave my wrist. It does not even have a clasp.

I was taken to St Mungo's where I stayed for many weeks, and no one knew who I was, just that the bracelet had saved me. After the downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, a number of people were searching for my family. Only muggles had died on the night I was found. It was a complete mystery how I came to be found in this location and it was assumed that I was muggle born. It seemed that bracelets like mine were now scarce and many believed that the pureblood rule to wearing it was merely a superstition.

It seemed that no family had lost a child, and so it came to be that I was well enough to leave the hospital and was in need of a guardian – and a name. Merle Kemp was one of the people helping the Ministry search for my family and she grew so attached that she took charge of me with the Ministry's permission. I came to be known as Armilla Kemp. Armilla is an unusual name, I'll admit, but considering the situation, it was not that original because it is Latin for 'a bracelet'. At the hospital I was "the bracelet baby". But I've been Armilla for so long now, that even if my history suddenly came crashing down around me and I found my name was Jane, I wouldn't change it.

I had lived with Merle in her little house since she became my guardian. She was retiring at the time anyway when she adopted me. Merle taught me before I went to Hogwarts and became one of the most diligent Ravenclaws. Now she was eighty-one and it seemed that I had become her guardian. Not that I minded, but I knew that I was going to spend between now and Christmas worrying about her and whether or not she was alright. I just couldn't do without her in my life. Merle was one of those people who just by being there made life worth living.

The sun had set by the time the train pulled into the station. I grabbed my things and got up, my mind shifting between Merle's health and how much work I would have to catch up on.

I stood on the platform and waited for Professor Sinistra, who, according to Dumbledore's last letter to Merle, was going to meet me at the station. I looked at my watch. 6:33 pm. Everyone was probably in the Great Hall eating dinner.

"Miss Kemp?"

I turned towards the voice and felt relieved at seeing the familiar face of a Hogwarts teacher. I was glad that Dumbledore had chosen to send one of his kinder members of staff. There were certain staff members who I generally liked to have as little to do with as possible.

I walked towards Professor Sinistra, praying that I would not be in the same situation next year. All I wanted was for Merle to be completely well again. She had plenty of years left in her.

As we walked up to the school together, I only half paid attention to the conversation my teacher was making, which was mainly about the constellations in the sky. I was thinking about seeing Merle again at Christmas time, restored to perfect health and laughing off the illness she had been through over the summer.


	3. Reunion

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Two

As preoccupied as I was with Merle's health, it didn't stop the feeling of happiness I felt upon entering the Entrance Hall. I was sure most of the other students at Hogwarts must have felt something similar each time they returned to the school after the summer. I suppose that the feeling was inevitable since we spent more time at Hogwarts than at our own homes.

Professor Sinistra left me in the Entrance Hall to rejoin the staff at dinner in the Great Hall. I had assured her that I would deposit the belongings I was carrying in the Ravenclaw common and return to join my House for dinner.

My footsteps echoed in the corridors as I made the journey to towards the Ravenclaw common room. It was when I was alone in castle corridors that my nerves started to creep out. The castle seemed a little daunting at night. I was almost at Ravenclaw Tower when I suddenly realised that I didn't have the password.

"Bugger," I muttered, annoyed with myself.

"Excuse me?" came a cold voice I knew too well but didn't care to hear. Just great. Where the hell had he come from? Of all people to meet in a dark corridor after a long day, it had to be _him_.

I turned around to face Professor Snape. I swore that man never changed from year to year. The same greasy black hair. The same billowing black robes and dark piercing eyes.

"Professor, I…uh…erm…"

_That's right Armilla_, I thought. _Make an idiot out of yourself in front of the one person who'll use your stupidity against you_.

My friends and I had always boasted to each other, like all the other Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors that one day we would stand up to the Potions Master and let him have it. But every time those cold black eyes met mine, it was like most of my English vocabulary went up in a cloud of smoke and the only language I was fluent in was gibberish.

Snape waited for me to finish my sentence of utter gibberish. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I hated it when people did that. I wished I could tell him to just put that eyebrow back down in its proper place…but I don't know the gibberish for that sentence.

"Miss Kemp," he said coolly, eyeing me with distaste. "By your fifth year you must be aware that such language is not permitted in this school. Ten points from Ravenclaw. If I ever hear you curse again it will be detention. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," I said quietly, forcing my expression to remain indifferent. If I looked defiant he would probably linger for longer and find reason to take away more points.

He glared at me once more before sweeping away in the direction of the Great Hall. I waited a few moments and then followed to join the other students.

"Armilla!" cried Terry Boot as I made my way towards the fifth years at the Ravenclaw table. I sat down next to him and greeted all the other Ravenclaws around me. I was especially glad to see Terry, and my best friend Lisa Turpin. I hadn't seen them at all during the holidays.

"I'm sorry to hear ol' Merle's been unwell, Mill," said Terry. I smiled at him briefly, wondering how Merle really was at the moment.

"How's fifth year going?" I asked, changing the subject. "How many sleepless nights am I to endure before I've caught up?"

"Forget about that Mill," said Lisa. "I've made copies of all my notes and filed them in a special folder for you. All you have to do is tap it with your wand and it will appear a number of formats of your choice – alphabetically, chronologically according to date or according to what I believe will most likely come up in the OWLs."

"Er…thanks Lisa," I said. "You didn't have to go to that much trouble."

"Honestly, she'd rival Hermione Granger any day," said Terry rolling his eyes at Lisa, who glared at him, put her nose in the air and turned to talk to Luna Lovegood instead.

"So, feel good to be back?" yawned Terry, stretching sleepily.

"Well I did, until I lost ten points for Ravenclaw after being inside the castle for only five minutes."

"What! You never lose points. If Lisa here wasn't in Ravenclaw, I'd nominate you Miss Perfect Ravenclaw right now. What hideous crime did you commit in the space of five minutes?"

I looked up at the staff table and held my gaze on one slimy git. Terry followed my gaze and understood at once.

"Well, don't worry about it then. That old bat gets nastier every year. But he's certainly got a rival this year. He may have held it for many years now, but he may not hold the trophy for Hogwart's Most Hated Teacher for much longer."

I laughed. "As if anyone could ever triumph over Snape in that category," I said. "Even Lockhart was no match." This time I followed Terry's gaze along the table until my eyes came to rest on a squat toad-like woman in a fluffy pink cardigan.

"What the hell is that?" I whispered. "Is that thing human?"

Terry shivered. "You had better believe it. That's Professor Umbridge, and she's as evil as they come. We all reckon she's been sent by the Ministry of Magic in order to drive Dumbledore out," Terry glanced at the other students nearby before whispering, "and a lot of parents are all for it."

"What! Why? Is this over Potter and what happened with You-Know-Who last term?" I shook my head. "It's all true, I know it is."

"Hey I'm not disagreeing with you," he said, his eyes lingering briefly on Harry at the Gryffindor table, "but I'm just saying you had better be careful who you express your opinions to because Umbridge has eyes and ears everywhere. And I hear her detentions are worse than bed pans in the hospital wing. I don't know what she makes students do but apparently they really learn their lesson."

I watched this Umbridge woman for awhile. This coming year didn't sound so inviting. So now I had to be extra careful who I was talking to, be really wary around more than one teacher, and study for my OWLs…and then there was poor Merle to think about.

My head was swarming with too many thoughts as Terry, Lisa and I made our way towards the common room. I was playing with my bracelet absent-mindedly, as I often did when I was wrapped up in my own thoughts.

"Do you think you'll ever get that bracelet off?" Lisa asked, after watching me for some time.

"I don't know. I've tried everything. It seems to want to hang around for good," I replied as I let go of it.

"You say you've tried everything, but what about someone else?" said Terry, looking closely at it. "The knowledge surrounding these things must have been handed down to someone. There were a couple of hundred made after all, you say."

"True," I admitted. "Only Merle has really tried. But I agree with her that it could be dangerous to use dark magic to try and get it off. I think that it has to be on my wrist for a reason."

"Duh," said Terry smirking at me. "It saved your life. That's the reason."

"No, I think there is another reason, something really deep," I said hastily. "There are so many superstitions around about this sort of bracelet that I don't know what to believe."

"Socrates," said Terry when we reached the entrance to the common room.

"Well if something is meant to happen, it will happen in due course," said Lisa wisely.

"Hear, hear," said Terry with a dramatic bow as we passed by him into the common room.

I barely heard them. I had heard the same sort of thing so many times before. I was always being told that it was up to fate in regards to me finding out about my family history. Perhaps it was just my impatience, but I was tired of hearing the same old thing. I hated not knowing who I was. As much as I loved Merle, wasn't it normal that I would want to know the name of my own mother or my father or any brothers or sisters?

I followed Lisa up to our dorm after bidding goodnight to Terry. As I lay in bed that night, I thought for the millionth time of what my mother looked like, what she smelled like, what her laugh sounded like…

And then, as usual, my pessimistic side stepped in and reminded me that she was probably dead, and it didn't matter anymore what her laugh sounded like. I did have Merle after all, and I did enjoy hearing her laugh.


	4. Not a Promising Start

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Three

The first month flew by and it seemed there was never a spare moment what with classes, extra homework and the exhausting task of trying not to physically harm Umbridge. Terry hadn't been kidding. She was the most ridiculous woman I had ever met. She had become the Hogwarts High Inquisitor. (That gave her the right to delve deeper into everybody else's business uninvited, and behave like an even bigger toad than I initially thought possible.)

Merle wasn't getting better as quickly as expected. But she wasn't getting any worse, which was a relief.

The teachers had been piling on the extra work. My "To do" homework pile was starting to look like a bottomless pit these days.

What was really annoying was the fact that we had no practical DADA lessons. Umbridge seemed to think that all we needed to know was in the book of some snooty-nosed writer who probably had always been too scared to even pick up a wand. The idiot.

The worse lesson came a couple of days ago when we were sitting very quietly reading our 'How-To-Bore-Yourself-Stupid' DADA textbooks. Umbridge was roaming the classroom, making sure we were all doing nothing that would result in detention. She stopped by my desk and looked over my shoulder. I fought back a shudder. I waited for her to move on, as I was doing all that she expected. But she didn't move. Instead she reached into my school bag, which was open and pulled out a three week old newsletter, _Righteous Ravenclaw_, which had been sticking out from between some books.

"Name please?" she said in a honeyed voice.

"Armilla Kemp." What the hell did she want?

"Miss Kemp, surely you are familiar with Educational Decree Number Twenty-four?"

"Er…yes…"

"Then you would be aware that no student is to belong to any organisation, society, team, group or club without my knowledge and approval of it." Her voice now dripped with venom.

Now I was getting annoyed. Everyone had looked up from their books and was watching the two of us closely.

"I know about the decree," I said quietly, "and I don't belong to any club or anything like that. There is no problem."

"That is for me to decide, Miss Kemp!" she snapped. "The problem here is quite clear. In my hand I am holding what appears to be a newsletter from Ravenclaw House. An organisation formed by students would have produced these. I am exceedingly angry that you are in possession of such an item when you know I don't approve of it."

"But she isn't part of any organisation!" exclaimed Terry.

"Quiet Mr Boot!" she said, actually stamping her foot for emphasis. "Do not interrupt me. Five points from Ravenclaw."

"It doesn't matter that I have it. There is nothing offensive in it," I said. "Professor Flitwick proof read this himself."

Umbridge now drew herself up to her full height (which wasn't much of an advantage on her side). "Be that as it may, you have been caught red-handed in possession of a newsletter printed by an organisation I have not allowed. As the Hogwarts High Inquisitor I have every right to expel you." She smiled nastily.

At this point I jumped up. "What! That is ridiculous! I didn't even print that newsletter! And if you look more closely at it, it is dated before your decree even came into existence. So printing it then was not against the rules."

Umbridge tried not to look defeated, though I could tell she knew I had made a point. "Detention then, Miss Kemp. Be in my office every night at six this week. Be grateful you have not been dealt with more severely. Sit down."

I sat down, fuming. Honestly, I had never heard of anything so ludicrous in all my life. Detention for having a newsletter?

I was in a complete daze as I walked with the rest of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs down to the dungeons for Potions. My anger was so strong that that I felt like my head was spinning and my stomach was doing somersaults which made me miss a vital point Snape made about how to add asphodel to our Transparency potions.

To put it briefly, I stuffed up. I couldn't believe I did it. I was usually okay in Potions because everything normally turned out to be the right colour and texture. But today, my potion hissed and went a sickly shade of green instead of a pearly white – not my desired outcome. Or Snape's. As soon as he saw the colour of my potion he turned on me and let me have it.

"I am quite certain, Miss Kemp," he said silkily, "that I outlined the proper way to add asphodel to a Transparency potion at the beginning of this lesson. Am I to understand that you were not listening, or perhaps felt that you were _above_ being subjected to such simple instructions?"

"I was listening," I said, shifting in my seat under his stern gaze.

He raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? Then clearly it is not your _hearing_ that needs to be addressed, but your _comprehension_ of what was said?"

"I did comprehend it, sir. I just wasn't thinking straight when I added the asphodel," I retorted, my face going red. God, what a day.

"Clearly," he said coldly. "Since you can't demonstrate even the most basic skills in potion making today, you will be here on Friday night at seven o'clock where you will stay until you have brewed this potion correctly. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Joy to me. I already had detention every night this week with Umbridge. I swore I must have walked under a ladder or something with all this bad luck. In all the time I'd been at Hogwarts nothing like this had ever happened to me. I was generally one of those people in the background of a situation, not important enough to play a leading role. But twice today I had been the subject of my two most hated teachers.

Maybe I'll go lie down…


	5. Unexpected Warmth

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Four

Promptly at six that evening, I knocked on the door of Umbridge's office.

"Come in," said a sickly sweet voice.

I opened the door and went in, immediately becoming disgusted by the site of her office. I would admit with no qualms that though I was a witch, I was _not_ a cat person. Actually, I believed even cat lovers would have been turned off by this office. I had never seen so many prissy cat ornaments in my life. Or so much pink florally stuff. The woman was nuts.

"Hello dear," she said. She put down her quill and looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to say why I was there. Had I come at the right time? She had say six, hadn't she?

"Er…I'm here for detention."

"Ah yes…Miss Kemp, isn't it? Now, tell me why you received detention?" Her tone sounded like she really didn't know. Yep, the old bag was going to draw this out and make it painful.

"I had a newsletter in my bag," I said quietly.

"That's right. And have you realised your mistake, dear?"

"Yes." No, you raving nitwit. I never made a mistake!

"I am pleased then. Now just as a little…_reminder_, I would like you to write lines for me."

"I didn't bring my quill, Professor."

"Oh I never intended to have you use your own quill, Miss Kemp. I have a very special one that I would like you to use."

"Oh…alright." A special quill? A quill is a quill.

"Sit down, dear, you will be here for awhile. Now on this piece of parchment, and all the other parchment I have here, you will write _I will not break school rules_. Here is your quill. You won't need ink. You may begin."

I took the quill and began to write. I let out a small yelp of surprise. As soon as I had begun, a sharp pain shot through my hand. The red ink was glistening on the page. I noticed a cut in the back of my hand in the same shape as the letter I has started to write. I looked up at Umbridge. She either had not noticed or pretended not to, and was busy going through an essay. I started to write again and felt the same pain searing in my hand. Gradually the words _I will not break school rules_ formed in my hand. The writing on the parchment, I came to realise, was not red ink, but my own blood. The woman was sick.

I had gone through four sheets of parchment before Umbridge asked to see my hand. She declared the words to still be quite faint, but with more detentions to come, she would soon declare herself satisfied. Personally, I begged to differ. The words etched into my hand were as clear as the light of day. But I knew not to say so.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

All the detentions with Umbridge that week continued in much the same fashion and by Friday the back of my left hand was red raw. My hand was so sore it really ached and it hurt to use it for simple things like holding a fork. I just hoped I would manage brewing that potion for Snape.

On Friday evening, Umbridge let me go a couple of minutes before seven and I had to run to the dungeons to avoid being late. I shouldn't have bothered. I arrived two minutes late, which in Snape's book was as bad as being twenty minutes late.

"You're late, Miss Kemp," he snapped irritably. "I have much better things to do with my time than wait for you to show up." That greasy bat. What would _he_ have to do on a Friday night?

"Sorry," I muttered as I collected my ingredients and sat down. I avoided his gaze and set to work, preparing the ingredients. It was a difficult job to shred, dice, and skin with a throbbing left hand. I tried not to show that I was in pain. But it constantly felt like a million knives were stabbing my hand. At one stage, the pain became so bad that I gasped and the scalpel sliced into a finger on my right hand.

Thank God Snape didn't look up. I tried to stop the blood with a tissue I found in my pocket (Snape would hear if I started muttering charms to stop it). But the blood just kept oozing out.

"Miss Kemp, I do not believe fifth year Ravenclaw blood was listed as an ingredient for a Transparency potion." He was right next to me! How did the man move so silently? "Are you trying to be innovative in your potion making, or were you just being careless?"

"Just being careless," I murmured.

I didn't care if he saw the cut on my right finger, just as long as he didn't notice the whole sentence on the back of my left hand. He'd probably sneer at my stupidity for having landed so many detentions with Umbridge.

"Keep that tissue around your finger until I get a potion for it." With that he swept away towards his private stores. I would rather have gone to the hospital wing than have him touch my finger, but who was I to argue with the Great Lord and Master?

Shortly he returned carrying two small jars.

"Hand," he snapped. Obediently, I put out my right hand. Swiftly he administered the potion from one jar on my cut and covered it with a thin piece of plaster.

"Thanks," I said quietly when he had finished.

He didn't answer. Instead he opened yet another jar. "Now your other hand," he said.

I was truly confused. I hadn't shown him my other hand. In fact I had gone to great lengths to hide it from him.

"I didn't cut my other hand, sir," I said.

He looked at me closely, his dark eyes boring into mine. "I asked you for your other hand Miss Kemp."

I didn't know what else to do, so I showed him my left hand. He examined it with an expression of indifference.

"How did you know it was there?" I asked quietly.

He didn't answer at first. Instead he chose to examine how deep the cuts were. Finally, he spoke, his gaze remaining on my hand.

"I had heard in the staffroom that you had detention with Dolores Umbridge. I know what goes on in her detentions as a couple of Slytherins have been to them and have shown me the result. I didn't expect your detentions with her to be any different." He soaked a piece of cloth with the substance from the jar. "Now, this will sting, but the potion will prevent it from scarring."

I didn't want to appear weak, so I held my breath instead of gasping when I felt the potion touch my skin.

"I could have gone to the hospital wing instead of troubling you," I said. To tell the truth, I was not comfortable with Snape healing my injuries.

"Yes, you could have gone to the hospital wing," he said indifferently. "But Madam Pomfrey is being forced by Dolores Umbridge, all privacy acts aside, to account for every student she sees in the hospital wing, no matter how small the injury. Dolores would undoubtedly give you more than detention if she found out that you seeked medical attention for an injury you sustained whilst in _her_ detention."

He finally looked up and met my gaze, his eyes slightly narrowed. "It is between us that Professor Dumbledore has asked me to help students coming out from Dolores' detentions. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," I said, nodding. "Thank you."

Again, he didn't answer me. His face was locked in an expression of surprise for several moments, before being replaced with a hard look, though still seeming unnerved. I followed his gaze to the bracelet on my left wrist. We sat there in silence as he just looked at it. Finally, whilst still looking at it, he spoke.

"Where did you get that bracelet?"

"I don't know. It has been there for as long as I can remember. I can't get it off."

"Of course you can't," he muttered, more to himself than to me.

Now it was my turn to look surprised. I looked up at him. "Sir?"

He didn't answer me. He touched the locket, and I immediately felt a rush of warmth through my body. I jumped. The look on his face told me he had felt it too. While he continued to touch it, I had the warm feeling inside. It was unnerving. That had never happened when Merle had touched it. Or Lisa. Or Terry. Or Dumbledore. When Snape finally let go, after examining it for sometime, the feeling went away.

"You may go, Miss Kemp," was all he said. He got up to put his potions away.

"But I still haven't finished my potion, sir," I said quietly.

"Are you daft? I told you to go! You are dismissed!" He bellowed at me.

I ran for it. I ran all the way back to the common and stopped for breath at the entrance. What had just happened? I knew he had felt the weird, but somehow comforting feeling too. Whatever it was, he had not seemed to like it. And I was not sure I did either.


	6. Unwanted attention

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Five

All through the weekend I could not get my detention with Snape out of my mind. The same scene kept replaying over and over in my head and I felt as if I was going completely mad.

Terry and Lisa kept asking me if I was alright. I had told them about Snape healing my finger and why he had done it, but I had left out the part where he had touched my locket. I wasn't comfortable with what had happened and I didn't want to tell Terry and Lisa about the brief connection I had held with Severus Snape – it was just too weird.

The weekend slipped away and before I knew it we were making our way once more down to the dungeons for a nice dose of Snape in double Potions. Thank God we never had Potions with the Slytherins.

The door was open so we all went in and took our places (as far back as we could get). Shortly afterwards Snape swept in, his black robes billowing behind him as always. He turned around dramatically (well that was the only word for it really) and stared around the room menacingly.

"I was utterly appalled by the standard of last week's essays," he said. "By fifth year I would have expected that most of you would have mastered the English language and basic rules of grammar. Evidently _not_."

He sneered at a group of Hufflepuffs who cowered in their seats. "Pushing simple language skills aside however," he went on, "your abilities at naming the properties of ingredients relevant to the essay were dismal. I don't want to have to teach such a lot of dunderheads again next year, so I am determined that every last one of you will pass your OWLs. Next lesson I will give you a quiz, where you _will_ pass and pass _well_, or you will suffer the consequences by coming to a series of tutorials until your marks pick up. Do I make myself clear?" A mutter of general consent could be heard around the room. A few of the Hufflepuffs were literally shaking.

Snape proceeded to hand out the essays and I was glad to see that I had passed, though not as well as I would have liked. He caught my eye as he put my essay on my desk, but diverted his gaze again so quickly that I was left pondering whether he had looked at me at all.

By the end of the lesson I was sure he had looked at me. In fact it seemed to me that he had watched me the entire lesson. Every time I had looked up, he had quickly looked away and pretended to mark homework or else began to belittle a helpless Hufflepuff.

Determined as I was not to let this unwanted attention bother me, I couldn't help the fact that my hands had shook a little whenever he had been close, watching me. At one point I had added more rabbit brains than I had meant to (not because I was being careless, but because he had snuck up right behind me) and he had pounced right away.

"Miss Kemp, it clearly states in your book and on the board that only a quarter of a cup of rabbit brains are needed. Do you require additional lessons in fractions?" he sneered.

"No, sir," I muttered angrily.

"Then show me you _are_ capable of brewing a potion correctly and I won't have to make an example of you by putting you down as the first member in my remedial potions group. Wouldn't that look bad for a _Ravenclaw_?" he said with a twisted smile.

What the hell did he have against Ravenclaws? Why all of a sudden must I be his target? I moved my left arm on the desk so my bracelet was clearly visible to him. He glanced at it and immediately moved away without another word. Ha! A new weapon! Well at least I had found one useful function for it.

"Snape certainly seems to have it in for you lately, Mill," said Terry as we were climbing the stairs after Potions. "You seem to have become the Ravenclaw Neville Longbottom – er, but you're smarter of course," he added hastily after catching my glare.

"Professor Snape _did_ seem to be watching you quite a bit today," said Lisa thoughtfully. She looked at me waiting for a response. I said nothing.

Terry shrugged. "I wonder why he watches you so closely, and then waits for you to stuff up so he can tell you off." Both of them were looking at me now. I tried to remain indifferent to their pointed gazes.

"I wonder if it will rain tonight," I said stupidly, looking at the sky. I mentally berated myself for saying something so ridiculous.

"Armilla," said Terry. "What's going on? Don't think we didn't notice how quiet you were all weekend. And we certainly did notice the way Snape was watching you today. What happened in your detention?"

Alright, so there was no way I was getting out of this after all. Damn it. I took a deep breath and told them exactly what had happened after Snape had touched my locket, how we had shared that weird warm feeling and Snape's reaction to the whole thing.

Terry was staring at me like a fish; his mouth kept opening and closing. Lisa was staring at me wide-eyed, clearly at a loss for words. Finally Terry spoke.

"Well clearly Snape isn't trying to forget about it. He may be refusing to acknowledge it to you, but that must be what he was thinking about today. There's not much you can do about it though."

"She should see Professor Dumbledore," said Lisa immediately. "He wouldn't betray your confidence any more than he would betray Snape's. He might give you advice."

"I could…" I said slowly. "But I don't want him to think that I'm telling some sort of weird tale, especially if Snape hasn't mentioned it to him."

"Well, wait and see,' Lisa replied. "It's Snape's problem if he hasn't mentioned it. You never know, Snape might say something to you about it one day."

"I somehow doubt that."


	7. Parting

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Six

The following week, all Snape-related thoughts completely vanished from my mind and were replaced instead with nothing but worry. Dumbledore met me one morning as I was making my way to the Great Hall for breakfast. His eyes had lost their usual twinkle and he seemed very tired. No wonder – all that work with the Order, running a school and putting up with Umbridge would probably drive anybody over the edge.

"Come join me for a cup of tea in my office, Miss Kemp," he said kindly.

"Er…okay sir," I said, not being able to keep away the anxiety in my voice. As far as I knew, Dumbledore never invited anyone to his office simply for the sake of it. Something must have happened. As we reached the gargoyle, so many thoughts were running in my mind as to what Dumbledore had to say.

"Cockroach clusters," said Dumbledore.

The gargoyle sprang to life and soon we were on a revolving staircase. As we were going up, my insides suddenly felt as if they were being squeezed really tightly. Snape. Had he told Dumbledore? What if Dumbledore was going to question me about Snape? Oh no. How could I explain a strange warm feeling from a brief connection with Snape to _Dumbledore_ of all people? He was going to think I was insane.

"Here we are," said Dumbledore, as he opened the door to his office. As we stepped inside, I was silently thankful that I hadn't had any breakfast yet because I could guarantee that it would have ended up on the floor by now. Damn weak stomach.

Dumbledore gestured to a chair in front of his desk and I sat down nervously as he began to pour the tea.

"Miss Kemp…Armilla," he said as he handed me a cup. "I have something to discuss with you." Oh God, here it comes…

"Now, you know that I am always here to talk to you about _anything _–" he paused, setting his piercing blue eyes on my dark brown ones.

I nodded slowly. Maybe Snape had told him I was some sort of lunatic who had no control over my own magic and had tried to use it against him when he was trying to help me. But I couldn't help it. And he was the one who had voluntarily reached out to touch it. I never dangled it in front of him saying "Look what I've got sir!" Anger started to boil inside me. How dare Snape tell Dumbledore about it? If Snape was meant to be such a smart wizard then why did he not explain what had happened to me?

Dumbledore was still looking at me carefully. "Armilla, I have received information about something very serious, and you need to understand what we are going to do."

Aha! So Snape _had_ told him! That's it. Before Dumbledore started warning me about using my magic in weird ways against a fellow Order member of his, I was going to put my case across. Suddenly I was on my feet.

"Sir, it was not my fault!" I said earnestly. "I can't explain what happened because I don't understand it. I never _asked_ Snape to touch my bracelet! I had never felt that feeling before and believe me it was unintentional. Snape refused to tell me anything about it and I am sure he knows more about it than I do!"

As I finished my little (well, slightly hysterical) speech I sat down hard in my seat again and studied the cup of tea that was still in my hand. Finally, as if Dumbledore was silently willing me to, I looked up and met his gaze. His expression was unreadable and he seemed to be studying me intently. Finally, he spoke.

"This is an issue that I am very interested in, especially in regard to _Professor_ Snape," he said.

Oh great, I was _really_ interested too, but who cares? Snape sure didn't.

"But that is not the issue I called you in here to discuss," Dumbledore continued.

Huh?...Oh dear God…If I had just spilled the beans on something Dumbledore had no idea about I was going to pack my bags and go and live with the Squid and never come back.

"What other issue is there?" I asked, trying to keep my face indifferent.

"Merle," said Dumbledore simply. "She has had a stroke, Armilla."

Now my insides felt like they had been ripped apart completely.

"A…a _mild_ stroke?" I asked, my voice quavering slightly.

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "No. She had the stroke in the very early hours of this morning and was taken to St Mungo's. The healers there have done everything they can for her, but it has not been enough."

Dumbledore came around the desk, sat in a chair next to me, and took my hand. "She is not expected to live past tonight, Armilla. I am very sorry."

We sat for a few moments while the news sank in.

Die. Merle was going to…_die_. She couldn't. She just couldn't.

I loved her too much to let her go. It never seemed to occur to you that someone you loved that much and needed so much could _ever_ just go away and leave you alone.

I tried to stop my eyes filling with tears. It was bad enough that the hand that Dumbledore was holding was shaking. I did not want to cry in front of Dumbledore.

Dumbledore seemed to read my thoughts and started talking again. "I imagine that you would want to see her?" he said softly.

I looked at him and just nodded. I couldn't speak.

He got up and went back to his desk. He picked up a silver ring and handed it to me.

"This is a special sort of port-key," he said. "It cannot be activated just by touching it. You must put it on your finger, and turn it around your finger to the left once, and then turn it back. It will take you to the hallway outside Merle's room. When you want to come back, you perform the same action and you will reappear here inside my office. I understand that you may be gone for several days so I will speak with all your teachers about missed classes. I will inform Miss Turpin and Mr Boot for you, and I will have Miss Turpin send along anything you may need."

I simply nodded, my thoughts elsewhere. Dumbledore came to my side and squeezed my shoulder. "My thoughts are with you, Armilla. Remember that I am always here."

"Thankyou, sir," I whispered. I activated the port-key and felt a tugging just behind my navel and I was gone from Dumbledore's office.

When I reappeared in an unfamiliar corridor, I had to grab onto the arm of a chair to stop myself falling. Once I steadied myself, I went over to the nearest doorway, where the door stood slightly ajar. I peered in and tried to muffle a gasp. There was Merle, completely white, laying in a bed by the window. Her friend and carer, Matilda, was sitting by her side with Merle's hand in hers. In her other hand, she held a handkerchief that she was mopping her eyes with.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside. Upon noticing my presence, Matilda jumped up and came over to embrace me. It was only then that I really started to cry. Seeing Merle like that made everything Dumbledore had said seem so real. I didn't truly believe what had happened until I saw Merle myself.

"She has been unconscious since she had the stroke," Matilda whispered in my ear as I turned to look at Merle. I went over to the bed and kissed her.

"The healers say she doesn't feel any pain," Matilda continued, obviously relieved to have someone to sit with her.

I nodded, continuing to look at Merle. She did look peaceful, as if she was just asleep, though her breaths seemed to come at a slow pace. "How long does she have?" I whispered.

"The healers came in twenty minutes ago and said she has a couple of hours at the most. At least she will suffer no longer," said Matilda, trying to console herself.

We sat there for a long time, not speaking, just watching her. Healers came by every now and then, and when they weren't there, the room was so quiet. A few times we thought we had lost her, and then we heard a breath again.

An hour and a half had gone by when suddenly Merle gave a last gasp for air…and then nothing. Matilda shook in her seat, sobs racking her body. I continued to hold Merle's hand, silently watching her.

She was gone.


	8. Old secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Seven

Those who have lost a loved one would understand exactly what I felt during the moments after Merle's death. It was a struggle to find words to describe the feeling. I felt like I wasn't in the real world, or at least my mind wasn't. My body was there, walking around, but it seemed my mind was far off in a distant galaxy doing its own thing. I guessed that was what shock and disbelief could do to you. One minute you were there with someone who you'd spent your whole life with, and then the next minute the acquaintance had been broken.

I spent the next few days with Matilda at Merle's house, preparing for the funeral. The funeral itself was a quiet affair, with only a small number of close friends in attendance.

Merle's neighbour, Shar, turned up. Shar had freaked me out all my life. He had been a good friend of Merle's before I had come to live with her. When I was growing up, we never saw a lot of him, as he obviously preferred to stay behind closed doors. But when I did see him, he would always look at me through half closed eyes, wearing an expression which I could only describe as resentful.

I didn't really want to speak with him at all, but while I was waiting for Matilda to finish speaking with a couple of friends, he appeared at my side.

"Unfortunate happenings, child, very unfortunate," he grunted, not meeting my eye but staring straight ahead.

"Yes," I replied quietly, hoping that was all he would say.

"Shame old Merle didn't have any children…" Shar went on, throwing me a glance. "No one to pass her years of knowledge and wisdom onto. Yes, very unfortunate indeed."

I looked at him sharply. Though we both knew Merle was not my parent through blood, she had told me all the time that she had always considered me as her own daughter. In turn, I had never stopped thinking of her as my mother, though I didn't call her that in name.

"I knew Merle for fifty odd years," muttered Shar, as though he was speaking to no one in particular. "I was one of her closest companions before you came along. I should be very interested in knowing what has been left to me in her will. That is, I _expect_ to be informed."

He fixed me with a final piercing stare before sweeping off down a lane and out of sight. I stared after him. What a cold, heartless old bugger. Fancy turning up to a funeral simply to say that. I shuddered. Honestly, I couldn't believe Merle had been a friend of that man.

I went home only for another couple of days. I wanted to go back to Hogwarts and get life back to normal. Merle's solicitor came and went and I was left everything in her will. As Shar was never approached by the solicitor during his visit, I assumed he had concluded that he was not to have anything after all.

The only thing that was left uncertain was my guardianship. Merle had intended for Dumbledore to decide. She hadn't thought it right to just demand I go with someone, so she requested that Dumbledore help me out until a suitable guardian was found.

As I had no relatives that I knew of and Merle had none, I had no idea of what would happen. Matilda was certainly too old and frail, being another fifteen years older than Merle. Dumbledore was older again, but his level of magical strength seemed to take years off him.

Matilda went home a couple of hours before I returned to Hogwarts. In that time, I walked about the house in a sort of daze, reliving memory upon memory in each room. The house was old, and it was to be sold right away. I had packed away the possessions of sentimental value to me and they had been sent to Gringotts to be put in my vault.

I was sitting on Merle's bed when I heard the front door downstairs being opened and slammed shut again. I jumped up and went out onto the landing. Standing at the foot of the stairs was Shar, looking up at me.

"Fancied a cup of tea," he said simply, before turning on his heel and walking towards the kitchen. I stood, contemplating for a few seconds, and then went downstairs to join him in the kitchen. I watched him as he put the kettle on to boil and then went through a couple of cupboards before finding a cup.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. "You can't just walk into someone else's house, even if it _is_ simply to have a cup of tea."

Shar turned around, cup in his hand, and studied me for a moment. "Someone else's house?" he said slowly. "What do you mean? Surely you don't think this is _your_ house?" He smirked as if the thought was ludicrous.

"Well, it is not _your_ business who this house belongs to," I retorted angrily. "And it certainly isn't yours, so clear off."

Shar made a sudden movement, but quickly stopped himself.

"Clear off?" he repeated. "No, no, I think not…I have come here with a purpose and I will not leave until I am satisfied."

He paused for a moment, waiting me to say something. When I didn't, he continued. "I am a Squib, Armilla," he said suddenly, looking me straight in the eye angrily as if I had caused him to be one. "I have never been able to find a decent job in the wizarding world because of my…_condition_. I have certainly never wanted to live in the muggle world and so I have always struggled to make ends meet. Merle was exceedingly good to me when we first met, but she wouldn't marry me."

Utterly startled out of my wits, I stared at him wide eyed. Shar gazed back at me through his cold blue eyes. "Yes, I wanted to marry her. If I had, I would have been guaranteed financial support without having to leave the wizarding world. It was the perfect plan…" He broke his gaze and turned to stare out the window.

"No wonder she didn't marry you – you were obviously after her money," I said incredulously. "Merle would never have married someone who did not love her in return."

"I know that, stupid girl!" hissed Shar fiercely. "But I remained close by all this time, strengthening our friendship, hoping that she wouldn't meet someone else. She didn't, and so I hinted many times that I was her closest friend and would leave her everything if anything ever happened to me. Then suddenly the fall of You Know Who came and Merle got landed with you."

"She didn't get _landed_ with me, you idiot," I said, my anger rising. "It was _her_ decision."

"All the same, your arrival meant I was in competition with someone else for Merle's attention," he snapped. "My friendship with her was never the same after _you_ came along. You _always_ had to come first and I was pushed into the background. _No one_ cared about the poor squib next door."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This man was behaving like a spoilt child. He turned to face me again as I started to speak. "It was not Merle's responsibility to give you financial support and nor is it mine. She offered you her friendship and you used her. Merle has not left you anything and for that I am glad! I can't think of a person right now who deserves less then you!"

I didn't intend to shout but as I said those last few words I totally lost it. Suddenly, something hit me on the left side of my face and I stumbled backwards in shock while whatever hit me shattered on the tiled floor. I looked down. Shar had thrown his empty teacup at me. The left side of my face started to throb painfully. As I brought my hand to my face, Shar made a beeline for me and punched my right eye. I wished I had moved a few metres away at least because I stumbled again and fell right into the shattered remains of the teacup. Blood started oozing from several places.

"If I have to kill you, I will," hissed Shar bending over me. "I deserve this house and everything in it. You will give it to ME."

"You'll get nothing," I panted, "except a cell in Azkaban."

Shar bared his teeth and started kicking me in my sides. I discreetly tried to feel for the silver ring on my finger. Shar suddenly grabbed a kitchen knife. As he raised it high above his head, I turned the ring once to the left. As I began turning it back again, the knife made contact with my right shoulder. I screamed in pain. Thank God Shar took the knife out again before I finished turning the ring or otherwise I would have transported us both back to Dumbledore's office.

The last thing I saw before I vanished from the room was Shar raising the knife again, a look of sheer madness on his face and an evil glint in his eyes.

When I reappeared on the floor of Dumbledore's office, I heard a sharp intake of breath and the rushing of footsteps towards me. I opened my eyes wearily and nearly fainted at the sight of whose black eyes met mine.

Snape was on his knees bending over me, obviously taking in all the cuts on my face and the bumps that were developing from the punches.

"Miss Kemp?" he said sharply, as if by saying those words alone demanded an explanation.

"Professor Snape…" I got no further. Everything went black around me and I welcomed it.


	9. The Pearl

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Eight

"And so she just appeared on the floor of my office in that condition, Severus?"

"Yes, Headmaster. I had been waiting several minutes there for that meeting we had scheduled when suddenly Miss Kemp appeared out of nowhere. She fainted before I could get any information as to what had happened."

"It is unfortunate I had not been there with you, but Dolores insisted on an urgent meeting in her office. But I am glad someone was there when she arrived."

"It is certain that her situation would have become a lot more serious had she been alone in your office for a long time."

"And you think she was attacked?"

"Undoubtedly. Miss Kemp's injuries are not the result of any accident, I assure you. She was very obviously stabbed in her right shoulder, and she has several broken ribs. As for the black eye and other cuts and scratches, I believe she must have been hit or had something thrown at her. Either way, someone deliberately caused this to happen."

"This is most vexing, Severus. My goodness, the poor child left Hogwarts to say goodbye to the only person she has ever considered family, and what a way to have to return…"

"Do you think it right that I brought her here? I did not think taking her to Madam Pomfrey the best path to take."

"Of course. I would rather that Dolores does not know about this. As far as she knows, Miss Kemp took the train back to London to see Merle. She knows nothing of the port key and I would prefer to keep it that way. I also think that Dolores would use Miss Kemp's injuries as a weapon against my abilities as Headmaster of this school. In fact, I am sure she would take great delight it putting it all over _The Daily Prophet_ that I allowed one of my students to become so seriously injured during the school year, when I am responsible for them. But the important thing is, Miss Kemp is safe now, thanks to your efforts."

"I did my best clean the wounds and prevent any infection occurring. I have a whole selection of potions for her to take, but they can wait until she wakes."

I opened my eyes, thinking I had dreamed that conversation between Snape and Dumbledore. As the room came into focus and my head stopped spinning, I realised that they were just outside the door, which was slightly ajar.

After a second or two, I wished I had never woken. All the pain I had felt when I had first reappeared in Dumbledore's office suddenly came rushing back. My shoulder and sides throbbed. I didn't move, fearing the pain would only get worse if I did. I tried to focus on other things instead.

I was lying in huge bed with a deep blue cover. There was a fire crackling in a very ornate fireplace to my left. On the nightstand next to me was a tray with at least a dozen potions, all labelled in Snape's spiky handwriting.

Snape! The memory of him being the first to find me flashed before my eyes and suddenly everything seemed to hurt a lot more. Where was I? And where was Madam Pomfrey? I glanced at my right shoulder and gasped. It was covered by a large bandage, with a considerable amount of padding underneath. I dared to move my hands and saw that several of my fingers had plasters on them and my right wrist was bandaged. I heard Snape's words to Dumbledore in my head.

"…_but I did my best clean the wounds and prevent any infection occurring. I have a whole selection of potions for her to take, but they can wait until she wakes."_

Ahhh! I had been unconscious in the care of _Snape_! Of all people, _he_ had to be the one to find me. He would come in here, gloating that he had saved the day and would then give me detention for wasting his time in the first place. He would probably make me brew all the potions he had to waste on me.

I stared at the ceiling; all those terrible thoughts were running through my mind. I heard a creak as the door opened wider and I saw Dumbledore come in, closely followed by Snape.

Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have lost their twinkle, but he sat down in the chair next to the bed with a kindly expression on his face. Snape, on the other hand, remained standing at the foot of the bed with his arms folded. His dark eyes bored into mine, but his expression remained indifferent as usual. I looked at Dumbledore instead.

"I am so very sorry, Armilla," he said, sadly. "I honestly thought you would be safe. What happened to you was most unexpected."

"It _was_ unexpected," I said slowly, still looking at Dumbledore.

"I know it may be painful to talk about," he said, quietly. "I know that the last few days have been some of the most painful for you to experience, but I think it important for you to tell me what happened."

"I was attacked by my neighbour," I said simply.

"Shar?" Dumbledore looked astonished.

"You know him?"

"I know _of_ him. Strange sort of fellow I was told, but I always thought he was harmless." Dumbledore leaned back and scratched his chin, thoughtfully.

"He _was_ harmless…I thought he was anyway.' I then proceeded to tell Dumbledore of everything that had happened, from the day of the funeral to the moment when I was in his office again. He listened in silence and Snape followed suit, never taking his eyes away from mine.

"And that's all I remember," I finished. God I hoped one of those potions next to me would take away the pain, but I didn't want to ask Snape for one.

As if he had read my mind (sometimes I thought he could), Snape suddenly moved towards the nightstand and uncorked a bottle. He poured a few drops of it into a glass and held it out to me. I took it from him, trying not to grimace from the pain in my ribs as I moved my arm. I downed the potion quickly, pretending I didn't notice how bad the taste was. Snape took the glass and handed me another one with a different potion. The process repeated until I had drank a number of various disgusting potions. I did start to feel better though; the pain was slowly starting to numb.

"There are a few issues we need to address, Armilla," said Dumbledore. "I will contact the Order and we will handle Shar privately. I think you would agree that we should keep it from the Ministry, as long as justice is served."

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"There is also the issue of your guardianship. Merle's solicitor contacted me, though I knew about the arrangement previously, as Merle and I discussed it years ago. I don't think it necessary for me to appoint anyone straight away. If you are happy to remain here over the Christmas and Easter breaks, we can decide on your guardianship later in the school year. Until then, I will be responsible for anything that comes up."

Again, I just nodded. There was a rather large lump developing in my throat. The thought of not being able to go home to Merle was enough to make me want to break down. But I was _not_ going to cry in front of Snape. Dumbledore changed the subject anyway.

"The third thing is the care that you will need for all your injuries. Professor Snape has examined them and they may take some time to heal properly. You must be wondering why you are not in the hospital wing?"

"Because of Professor Umbridge?" I asked.

"That's exactly it."

"I was wondering where I am though," I said, looking from Snape to Dumbledore. They exchanged a meaningful look. Dumbledore suddenly looked extremely serious.

"Armilla, if I tell you where you are, you are not to let anyone else know that it exists when you leave here," he said gravely. "Is that understood? I must have your word."

"Yes, sir."

"Very well, I trust you. You are in a secret wing of the school. No one knows it exists, except for Professors McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, Sprout and I, of course. This wing does not show up on any plans of the school and there are no doors in the school that have access to it. Well, no _real _doors anyway. We use this wing only for extremely private matters. You can imagine that it has been used more often this year, after the arrival of Dolores Umbridge."

I nodded, absolutely amazed that I was in a room in a hidden wing that was not supposed to exist at all.

"You will remain here until you are well enough to return to school. I will inform Professor Umbridge that you are staying with a friend of Merle's for a few more days."

"So, are you staying in this wing too while I am here?" I asked Dumbledore hopefully.

Dumbledore shook his head.

"I will be," said Snape softly, looking straight at me.

Wha huh? _Snape_? I hoped the alarm I was feeling inside was not showing on my face.

"Unfortunately, I have a lot of business with other members of the Order this week," said Dumbledore. "Professor Snape is the next best person for the job after Madam Pomfrey."

Personally, I had to agree. I may not like the git, but I could not deny how skilled and powerful he was.

"He will continue teaching," Dumbledore went on. "But he will spend his other time in this wing. It is a very powerful space. As soon as anyone on the outside wants one of us, we have the means to reappear in our own quarters as if we had been there the whole time."

Dumbledore stood up and took my hand. "I must be going. I have a meeting with Remus Lupin." Dumbledore eyed Snape who had given a slight grunt at these words. "I will come back and see you, Armilla. You know I am always here to talk to you. I am leaving you in the care of one of my dearest friends-"

I glanced at Snape in time to see him roll his eyes

"-and I know that Severus would always have a ready ear also if you needed someone to talk to."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Snape give Dumbledore a look that seemed to say, "Are you for _real_?" Yep, I felt _so_ comforted by those words.

Dumbledore continued. "You may even find that you two have something in common," he said lightly, looking from me to Snape, and then down to my bracelet. I guessed Snape caught the significance of that look because he suddenly glared at me accusingly. I stared back at him and he was the first to look away.

"Very well then," said Dumbledore. "Must be going." He kissed my hand before letting it go. "Goodbye, Armilla." He smiled at Snape. "Severus."

Snape nodded. "Headmaster."

After Dumbledore had gone, Snape picked up the tray of potion bottles and walked towards the door, obviously intending to leave as well. He stopped suddenly, as if a thought had just occurred to him. He set down the tray on a small table by the door and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a thin silver chain and walked over to the bed, holding it out for me to take. The chain had a small pearl attached to it. I thought it was simply beautiful.

"You are to wear this at all times until I tell you otherwise," Snape ordered, watching me closely. "You will use it to contact me when I am not in this wing. All you have to do is press your index fingers against it until it turns red, and I will come. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said quietly, trying to undo the clasp. I wasn't meaning to look clumsy, but I couldn't quite manage it with all the plasters on my fingers. I couldn't even bend most of them properly.

"Here," said Snape, irritably, snatching the chain from me and doing it up around my neck.

"Thanks," I muttered, not looking at him, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

He didn't answer. He went to the door, picked up the tray, and then turned to face me. "I will be down the hall, first door on the left," he said.

I nodded and watched as he swept from the room.

Oh boy. A couple of days of seeing no one but Snape. I wondered if I had enough magic in me to make time speed up.


	10. Irritable Company

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter Nine

Some people might say that if you spent a lot of time with one person and saw no one else, you might unknowingly pick up a few of that person's traits. I still had a lot of habits that I picked up from Merle, so it just went to show you that not all your traits were inherited.

But I was irritable. So very irritable. I didn't know whether it was because the only person I had seen for the past four days was constantly irritable and so it had rubbed off, or if it was because I was sick and tired of being there. Probably both.

Snape hadn't been around too much, thank God. He only came in to give me potions to take in the morning and in the evening. He generally hadn't said much at all, except things like "take this" and "don't spill it, I'm not going to waste my time making more". Lovely chap.

I'd spent my time catching up on class work I had missed while I was away. Snape had also been bringing in the day's work with him in the evening. So with all the work I had, he hadn't really seen me without my nose in a book. Maybe that's why he had seemed even more irritable – perhaps I was reminding him of Hermione Granger. But as the days had passed by, I had gotten more and more tired and frustrated about my situation.

Being alone a lot mad you think. I couldn't stand knowing that Snape knew something about my bracelet and thought it beneath him to tell me. Damn him. I had every right to know since I had to wear the wretched thing.

More than once I had been tempted to say something to him about it when he had come in, in the evening. But I just hadn't been able to construct it in my head as to how I wanted to word it. I didn't want to sound pleading, asking if he would be so kind as to provide an explanation. No. I was well within my rights to demand an explanation. Yes, see how irritated I was? I had been rambling on in my head like this for ages, just staring in front of me.

"So sorry to interrupt you when you are obviously _so_ hard at work," came a voice dripping in sarcasm. Professor Snape stood in the doorway, holding a couple of vials full of potions.

"I have been working all day," I retorted, glaring at him. He seemed slightly surprised at my retort, but his face quickly returned to its usual sneer.

"Indeed. All this work has seemed so very taxing on your poor mind that you decided to devote a few moments to complete concentration on the air in front of you?"

"You have no reason to suggest that there is anything wrong with my mind," I said tetchily I knew he was only baiting me, but I was irritable. So very irritable. "I have _never_ failed in any task you have ever given me, so you have no right to say things that have no foundation." Ohhhhhh…had I just said that out loud? Yep, certainly had. He looked furious.

"No foundation, Miss Kemp?" he said darkly, his eyes narrowed. "I do, however, have the right to deduct fifty points from Ravenclaw."

He walked over to my bedside and sat in the chair next to the bed, all the while holding my gaze. He leaned over so our faces were only inches apart. "And let me assure you, Miss Kemp,' he whispered, "that everything I say _always_ has foundation."

"Always has foundation?" I repeated. I held out my left hand to him, my bracelet clearly visible. "I have a right to know what this bracelet means."

Snape stared at it for a moment, completely indifferent. Then he looked away and proceeded to unseal the vials he had. "Move your arm away," he hissed. "I didn't come in here for a friendly chat."

"I'm not asking for a friendly chat!" I said, heatedly. "I deserve to know why I have this thing and I _know_ you know something about it or you wouldn't try and avoid talking about it."

"Do not presume to know how my mind works, Miss Kemp," he snapped. "If I thought you needed to know something, I would tell you. End of discussion. Here, drink this." He held out the vial.

"Why should you decide whether or not I should know something?" I pressed, ignoring the vial in his outstretched hand. "I have just as much right as you do, if not more, to know. Professor Dumbledore obviously knows something. I shall ask _him_."

Snape looked livid. "You will do no such thing," he snapped. "Professor Dumbledore has enough to deal with without the complaints of a Ravenclaw student who feels she's been left in the dark."

"Well at least _you_ understand me then. I _have_ been left in the dark and I want to know the significance of the bracelet. Lots of people have touched it before but it never affected me until you touched it – and I know you felt it too. If you won't tell me anything, then I _will_ ask the Headmaster." I was trying to keep calm, but I knew the man next to me contained information.

I was waiting for Snape to deny that he had felt anything, but he remained silent. He gazed at me with those piercing dark eyes, the vial still in his outstretched hand. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

"Let me make it clear now, Miss Kemp that I do not _bargain_ with students," he said, his tone letting me know that I was on dangerous ground with him. "Nor will I tolerate that tone."

I had the grace to look a little remorseful, though really I was more eager for information.

"Professor Dumbledore," he continued, "like me, would not share information with you if he did not think you needed to know. You obviously do not realise that some pieces of information are not intended for you, though you may feel you deserve to know. I do not know as much information about the bracelet as you seem to think I do. Certainties, I will tell you if I think you should know. Suspicions I have regarding the bracelet, however, I shall keep to myself. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Drink this," he said, pushing the vial into my hand. "I've been holding it out to you for some time now."

I downed the potion, and then the second one Snape handed me, trying not to make a face at the terrible taste. I handed the vials back to him and looked at him expectantly. Again, he stared at me, as if deciding _what I needed to know_.

"The bracelet, Miss Kemp, is an extremely old family heirloom that can only come from a pureblood family. It is handed down only through the female line, regardless of the change in surname once the witch marries. Once the witch wearing it dies, the bracelet disappears from her wrist and reappears on the wrist of the next female descendant and there it remains until she too, dies."

"So I'm stuck with it until I die," I muttered.

"I will not be interrupted," he said warningly, his black eyes flashing. "Do you wish to hear this or not?" My silence allowed him to continue.

"Many of those bracelets were made many, many years ago, but their number now continues to decline. The bracelet only remains if the wearer is definitely a pureblood. Too many pureblood witches married into half-blood or muggle families and so when these witches died, the bracelets vanished for good because they couldn't reappear on the wrist of a half-blood or muggle-born witch. It is an extremely advanced piece of magic, Miss Kemp, so you can be in no doubt as to just how pure your bloodline is. Clearly, you are not muggle-born or even half-blood. Though the identity of your parents is not known, it is certain that you come from a line of all pureblood witches and wizards. Whoever your family were, they were prestigious."

He looked at me closely as I took in these words. It seemed so many more questions had arisen from Snape's words. I opened my mouth to ask the first of many questions, but Snape held up his hand to stop me.

"That is all I am going to say, Miss Kemp. That is all I deem necessary for you to know."

He got up and headed to the door. "I will let you get back to your day dreaming," he said silkily, turning around in the doorway. "I do recommend though that you devote some time this evening to your Potions work. You wouldn't want to _fail_ a task I gave you now, would you? I'll bring the rest of your work by later." He smirked at me as he closed the door behind him.


	11. Puddles

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 10

I had always supposed I was pureblood because I had known bracelets like mine were only found in pure-blooded families. But after Snape left the room, I found myself in a state of utter shock. I was guessing it was not the fact that Snape had told me that I was definitely pureblood – it was the fact that Snape had actually told me himself. It wasn't really the information I was seeking, and it looked like there would be no easy way to obtain the rest of the facts.

I couldn't sleep that night. Too many thoughts kept zooming in and out of my mind. At home, when I couldn't sleep, I would get up and make a midnight snack. But there was no food kept in this wing – Snape had been getting all my food from the kitchens and bringing it here himself. He often had to transfigure my meals into something else while he was in the Hogwarts halls so people wouldn't wonder why he was carrying food around.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I ran my fingers over my bracelet, as if willing it to somehow reveal information. I just lay there, staring. Sleepy…getting sleepier…

_I was running around outside. The rain had just stopped. It had been pouring for what felt like a lifetime. Being so thankful to see the blue sky, I stopped and gazed at it, smiling. I looked all around me. Puddles. Puddles everywhere I looked. Feeling like a young kid again, I started jumping in them, enjoying the sight of the water flying everywhere. I stopped before a puddle that struck me as a bit odd. It was a perfect circle. The water itself was shimmering in the sunlight. I saw my reflection in it – my dark eyes, my long brown hair. I put my finger in the water and twirled it about, watching my reflection suddenly disappear as the water turned completely white. Intrigued, I withdrew my finger and again found myself shocked. My finger was completely dry. That stuff certainly wasn't water._

_I continued watching the white substance as it swirled around inside the perfect circle. All of a sudden, it stopped. I peered down at it. A face was taking form, slowly becoming clearer and clearer. It was a woman. She looked to be in her mid forties. She had clear blue eyes, a creamy complexion and long straight brown hair. She suddenly looked at me, though her eyes seemed unfocused._

"_Emiliana, is that you?" she called._

"_Er…no," I said._

"_And where is Lucia? She is with you, isn't she?" The woman started biting her nails._

_I was about to give a "no" when the puddle suddenly moved off the ground. It hovered in mid-air for a few seconds before zooming off into the distance. I ran after it shouting._

"_Come back! Please come back!" I kept running but I could no longer see it anymore. Something caught my wrists, bringing me to a sudden halt._

"Miss Kemp! are you quite finished?"

Huh? Finished what? I was breathing very fast, my heart pounding. Snape was standing right in front of me, holding my wrists tightly. I looked past him and saw that I was standing on a dark landing on the edge of some stairs. Nothing around me looked at all familiar, except Snape of course…that was not a face I would forget in a hurry.

"Well?" Snape demanded. "Explain yourself at once. What are you doing out here?"

"Out where?" I whispered, shaking slightly. "I don't know where I am…I must be still asleep."

"I assure you, you are not asleep, and nor am I now since your screams interrupted my sleep."

"My-my screams?" I said softly. "I wasn't screaming. I only just fell asleep…don't know how I got here though." Snape must have noticed he was still holding my shaking wrists. He suddenly let go and folded his arms, fixing me with a piercing stare.

"You have no idea where you are and how you got here?" he asked quietly.

"No."

"You are still in the wing, just far from your bedroom. I had to chase you through several corridors while you were screaming." He smirked at me. "I gather you didn't catch whatever you were chasing? Exactly _what_ were you chasing, Miss Kemp? A decent Potions mark perhaps?"

I glared at him. Damn him.

"Well?" he snapped. "What was so important that you had to catch it and interrupt my sleep? Answer me at once!"

"A puddle," I said, obviously without thinking. I _really_ needed to go to the bathroom.

Snape looked as if he was trying to decide if I was being impertinent. He gazed at me for a moment, his dark eyes fixed on mine. Finally, he spoke.

"You must have been sleep-walking, unless you really believe you _can_ catch a puddle?"

"_No_," I said quietly. I _had_ to find a bathroom. Too much puddle talk.

"Well come along then, I'll take you back to your room," Snape said indifferently. I followed him through many dark corridors until he suddenly stopped outside what I guessed was his own room.

"Wait here," he said shortly. He disappeared inside it for a moment. I crossed one leg over the other; I _really_ needed to go. Shortly, Snape came out carrying a vial.

"Come," he said briskly.

I followed him into my bedroom.

"Get into bed," he ordered.

"I am not ready to go to bed just yet," I announced.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I have to go to the bathroom, sir."

He glared at me. "Well go to the bloody bathroom then! I'm not stopping you!"

Putting two and two together, naturally, Snape suddenly smirked at me. "Too many _puddle_ dreams, Miss Kemp?"

I turned on my heel and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. When I came out a few moments later, Snape gestured for me to get into bed. After I got in, he handed me the vial he had been carrying.

"Dreamless Sleep Potion," he said simply. 'For my benefit as well as yours. I wish to sleep uninterrupted tonight too."

I glared at him and the downed the potion. I felt myself becoming woozy as sleep tried to take over my body. As I drifted off, Snape took the vial from my hand and silently swept out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.


	12. Emiliana

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 11

When I woke the next morning, Snape had already left for class. A tray with my breakfast sat on my bedside table. I didn't feel the slightest bit hungry. My dream kept playing itself over and over in my head. Generally I never remembered my dreams, but this one was certainly different. The woman's face was so clear in my mind. Those eyes were so full of concern that it pained me – and I didn't even know her. The state of her chewed nails showed that she had obviously been worrying about something for a long time.

I sat up in bed and wrapped my arms around my knees, wincing slightly as my nearly healed shoulder protested against the movement.

Emiliana. The woman thought that I was Emiliana…whoever she was. Of course, the woman's eyes didn't appear to be entirely focused on me anyway so she could have mistaken anyone for this Emiliana. And Lucia. Lucia must know both the woman and Emiliana. Maybe the three were friends or sisters or something. But nothing explained why the woman's face was in a weird sort of puddle.

A thought suddenly struck me and I jumped out of bed, making my way to the door. Snape had told me that I had been sleepwalking last night. I had never done that in my life…as far as I knew. I never remembered dreams…except this one. And if Snape hadn't caught me I might have caught that puddle. And I still may find that puddle…

_This is ludicrous!_ a voice in my head said. _It was only a dream, stupid_. And so it might have been, but I had to make sure.

I opened the door softly, suddenly paranoid that Snape might still be in the wing. I couldn't hear a thing, but then the way that man moved you generally wouldn't hear a thing anyway. Taking my chances I stepped out into the corridor and padded to his door. I put my ear close to it. Nothing. I took a few more steps further away from my room and suddenly realised that I didn't know the way to the landing where Snape had found me last night. All I remembered was a lot of long corridors like the one I was currently standing in.

I wondered down several corridors, sometimes coming back and taking different turns. It must have been over a half hour later when I finally recognised the landing I had been standing on last night.

The triumph I felt at having found it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come when I realised I had no idea what to do now. It was here that Snape had woken me by grabbing my wrists. I was pretty sure the last glimpse I had seen of the puddle was directly in front of me. The long stretch or corridor in front of me was in complete darkness. Of course I could have no reason to expect it to be lit as it was probable no one used that part of the wing.

I took a step forward, and then two steps back. I was no bloody Gryffindor. That corridor was dark and could have traces of any sort of dark magic to go with it. And I didn't have my wand with me.

But I wanted to find this woman. Screwing up my courage, I moved slowly into the darkness, sliding my hand along the wall as I went. I passed many doors, trying the handle of each one. All were locked and I wasn't really surprised. I bet Dumbledore knew what was behind each and every door. It was now so dark that I was completely reliant on sliding my hand along the wall to guide me. The corridor started to slope downwards.

My hand on the wall suddenly slid over something sharp and I gasped as a deep slit was made in my left hand.

"Who is there?" a voice boomed a few feet ahead of me. "Zeta is that you? _Honestly_, you are no good in the dark…the portraits down here are no good for you…old Ralph the Rejected keeps complaining about you bumping into him. If you want to visit, _I'll_ come to _you_. Now be a good lass and go back to your portrait where the light is."

I stood there, quite frozen. I didn't know if I was more shocked by my bleeding hand or the low male voice that had startled me out of my wits.

"Now really Zeta! At least answer me. I don't quite know what you're about these days…"

I moved forward towards the voice, quite certain the voice belonged to a man in a portrait. I still couldn't see a thing, but it served as my benefit that the man wouldn't be able to see me either.

"It is not Zeta," I said. "I am a visitor, looking for someone."

There was silence. I presumed I had startled the man. After a moment, he spoke quite excitedly.

"A visitor? A witch down in this part of the castle? That is, I presume you are a witch. Blimey!"

"Er…you don't get witches or wizards down here often then?" I asked.

"I haven't seen any form of life down here in over ten years, my dear. There is nothing down here that draws anyone closer."

"Oh." I felt bitterly disappointed. It seemed my trek down into the darkness had only earned me a cut hand and a chat with a portrait.

The man seemed to sense my disappointment. "Who were you looking for lassie?"

"A woman," I said. "I don't know her name but she knows someone called Emiliana. I would really like to find her."

There was silence again. I supposed the man was thinking. At length, he spoke.

"Well, like I said, there is no one down here that I have seen. But Emiliana _does_ ring a bell."

"You know her?" I said quickly. I _knew_ it wasn't only a dream.

"Well…not very well. I was only briefly acquainted with her. Now what was her other name? …ah yes, Emiliana McGonagall."

"Mc Gonagall?" I repeated. _That_ was unexpected.

"Yes. Miss McGonagall and I met when she came down here to drop something off. Actually, it was the first and last time I ever saw her. Very pleasant woman."

"When was that?" Finally, information was coming out…

"Oh, over ten years ago. I've quite lost most of my sense of time, you see. But she was the last person to ever come down here. I must say it _is_ nice to have a real person to talk to _now_. What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't," I said quickly. "What was Emiliana dropping off?"

"Oh I don't know. It _is_ very dark down here…that is precisely why I told Zeta to go back to her portrait. But does she ever listen to me?"

As the man started rambling about the impertinence of Zeta, I decided I had better get back to my room. I had lost track of the time too and I wanted to be back before Snape returned. I thought my hand was also bleeding all over the floor.

I said a hurried goodbye to the man and made my way back up the corridor, being more careful with my hand on the wall. When I finally reached the lighter passages and started to make my way back to my bedroom, I made a point of remembering certain turns and pictures on walls so I would remember the way next time.

I smiled to myself. Of course there would be a next time. But I wanted to have my wand with me next time so I could light up the passage and perhaps see the man in the portrait. Most importantly, I wanted to search for whatever Emiliana had dropped off. If no one had been down there since, surely whatever it was, was still there.

I reached my bedroom and heaved a sigh of relief that there was still silence coming from the surrounding rooms. Snape wasn't back yet.

I found some plasters Snape had left in my room from when he had been healing my fingers and I put them over the cut on my hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding. I opened my Charms book and tried to read. I could see the words but the man from the portrait and what he said kept buzzing in my head. I would go again tomorrow as soon as Snape left.

"You know, it is a waste of my precious time to bring you food if you are not going to bother yourself to eat it, Miss Kemp."

I looked up. Snape was standing in the doorway holding another tray with a steaming bowl. He looked pointedly at my untouched breakfast and then at me.

"Are you so very engrossed in your studies that you do not allow yourself the luxury of eating time?"

"No."

"Indeed. Let it be understood Miss Kemp, that while you are under my care, you will eat every meal I bring you, whether it suits your tastes or not."

"Yes, sir," I said. God, was _he_ in a bad mood. I guessed he had just had a class with Potter and Longbottom.

Snape made the breakfast tray vanish and then set the lunch tray down where it had been.

"Eat," he ordered. As he left the room, I picked up my spoon and started eating. I still wasn't really hungry, but I wouldn't have put it past Snape to force-feed.

I wasn't even half way through my meal when Snape returned carrying a stack of parchment. He dropped some down on my bed.

"Your day's work," he said simply. He then settled himself in a chair and proceeded to mark essays, making a lot of use of his red ink. I watched him for a moment. He usually stayed away in his own room. I supposed he wanted to make sure I would eat all my lunch. I suddenly felt like I was five. He must have felt my gaze because all of a sudden our eyes met. I quickly looked down at my soup, silently willing him into believing I had never looked at him at all.

"Miss Kemp?"

Damn it. I raised my head and once again met his gaze. "Yes, sir?"

"What did you do to your hand?" He said the words slowly, yet his tone sounded deadly.

"Cut it," I replied, looking away.

"Excuse me?"

"I cut it, _sir_."

"Evidently. How did you cut it?" His tone was now dripping with venom.

_Think quickly. Think quickly_. Saying I cut it on a sharp object on a wall in a dark corridor when I was supposed to be in my room was _not_ a good story.

"I slipped in the bathroom, sir." I did not meet his gaze.

Snape put his quill down and leant back in his chair. I could feel him watching me closely. I prayed I would not slip up in my excuse.

"What did you slip on?"

"A puddle of water."

"A puddle? Indeed." He raised an eyebrow. "How very…_ironic_."

I stayed silent. I _could_ have slipped on a puddle, how would _he_ know?

"And what did you cut it on when you slipped?"

"The corner of a tile…at the edge of the bath." Yeah, that sounded plausible enough. After all, I _had_ done that at home once.

His dark eyes were boring into mine. I looked away.

"I see," he said finally. "Well, Miss Kemp, it seems to me that you should be more careful around _puddles_. You seem to find yourself in trouble whenever you are near them."

I glared at him, only to find him smirking back at me. He looked far from pleased, though.

He stood up when I had finished my lunch and made me show him my hand. He peeled off the plasters and examined the cut.

"A deep cut, I must say. That tile must be deemed a hazard to you, Miss Kemp."

He summoned a potion from his room and put a few drops of it on my cut. Like the first time Snape had healed my hand, ages and ages ago from when I had detention with Umbridge, I felt a sharp pain when the potion touched my skin. I guess Snape thought that was punishment enough because he said no more about the cut after he covered it. He went back to marking essays and I picked up my school work, forcing myself to concentrate on it.

And it went on like that until Snape left for his afternoon classes.


	13. Hazel Merrigan

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 12

I spent the afternoon on the school work Snape left for me to do. Doing my written work took me longer than my patience would allow – my fingers weren't entirely healed and I couldn't hold my quill properly – many times I just wanted to throw my books at the wall.  
It didn't help either that my mind kept wandering back to Emiliana McGonagall, Lucia and the man in the portrait. It really irked me that I should dream about people who I had previously never heard of, but who existed all the same.

I was really itching to go back down that corridor and find whatever Emiliana had dropped off. I now had most of my belongings in my room, including my wand. I hadn't asked Snape how Shar had been dealt with and I didn't really want to think about it. Thinking about Shar made me think about Merle and I couldn't handle thinking about Merle at the moment.

I was mainly concerned with finding the right times to sneak back to that corridor, knowing for certain that Snape would not be around. The problem was, there were not many times when Snape would be away for lengthy periods. Also, I was getting better now and I could be sent back to regular classes and the Ravenclaw dorms any day. So If I wanted information, I was going to have to act fast.

My prime opportunity came when Snape came back from his afternoon classes looking particularly disgruntled. He stormed into my room carrying my dinner and slammed it down on my bedside table.

"Eat your dinner," he said abruptly.

I picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of roast chicken. I looked up at him. He was just staring at me, or rather, _glaring_ at me.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" he snapped.

"Are you going to watch me eat every meal?" I asked dryly.

His nostrils flared. "Ten points from Ravenclaw. Don't speak to me in that tone. You should at least be appreciative that I have brought you a meal. I am giving up a lot of my precious time for your sake."

I met his gaze. "I _am_ appreciative," I said quietly. "I wouldn't have chosen to be in this situation if I could help it. If it wasn't for Professor Umbridge I would be in the hospital wing and you wouldn't have to bother with me."

Snape was silent for a moment. He watched me take a bite of my meal before speaking again.

"Yes, Dolores Umbridge is responsible for many current…_inconveniences_ at Hogwarts, one of which is a staff meeting I must attend tonight to discuss another ridiculous educational decree. I trust that while I am away, you can keep yourself out of trouble?"

"Yes, sir," I said. Excellent. A night time stroll back to that corridor…

"And I particularly request that you stay away from all puddles and protruding tiles," he drawled, narrowing his eyes at me. "It seems that you need constant supervision when you are around either."

I glared at him. Stupid git.

"Goodnight then," he said, as he swept from the room, his black robes billowing out behind him.

o o o o o o o o o o

After hurrying through my meal I made my way back to the corridor, my wand casting a light in front of me. Before long I heard the voice of the man in the portrait sharing a limerick with the other portraits.

_There once was a grumpy old witch,_

_Who dreamt that she had a bad itch._

_She jumped out of bed,_

_And found out instead,_

_That she'd fallen into a ditch_

"Oh really, Richard! That was really pathetic." I hadn't heard _that_ voice before. "If the witch had fallen into a ditch, she would have more than an _itch_ don't you think?"

"Well, I could not think of a better rhyming word. I highly doubt that _you_ could do better, Ralph," said Richard, no trace of having taken offence in his voice at all.

I approached his portrait, careful not to make my wand's light shine in his eye.

"Hello again," I said. "We met earlier today."

Richard studied me as closely as I studied him. He was an elderly man, with straight white hair that hung loose to his shoulders. He wore a high white collar that forced him to hold his head very high.

"Ah!" he said merrily. "The young lass! Two visits in one day."

"Who is she, Richard?" I heard Ralph the Rejected say.

"I do not know. The young miss did not introduce herself."

"My name is Armilla," I said hurriedly. "But you cannot tell anyone that you have met me because I am not supposed to be down here."

"Ah! An adventurous, yet mischievous young lady! No, no, I will not tell and neither will Ralph."

"I'm in a hurry," I said. "I want to find what it is that Emiliana left here all those years ago. You said that no one has come down here since, so it must be here."

Richard looked a bit disinterested. "I suppose it is still there. There are no portraits in the room off this corridor, so I was never able to leave my portrait to peek. But by all means, go and explore."

I moved quickly down the corridor, holding my wand out in front of me. I came to a door and was highly surprised to find that it was not locked. I stepped inside the room. It was very small, and completely empty except for a round mahogany table in the centre of the room.

My heart thumping, I approached the table. On it, there was a thick silver ring the size of a dinner plate. That was all. I knew I shouldn't touch any object I didn't recognise for the risk being exposed to dark magic, but I couldn't resist…maybe I should have been a Gryffindor…

I put a finger on the ring. Straight away, it glowed from my touch and some weird substance that resembled the puddle material from my dream started swirling within the ring.

I knew that this was the same ring that I had seen in my dream. Sure enough, after a moment, the lady appeared again, looking dreadfully nervous.

"Emiliana? Are you there?" she said in a soft voice.

I bent over the ring so she could see my face.

"No, Emiliana is not here. I don't know where she is."

The woman looked startled. "Not here?' she said. "But she promised me she would be right back. Who are you? Did she send you instead?"

"I have never met her," I said. "My name is Armilla Kemp. Emiliana hasn't been down here for over a decade, and she didn't send me."

"Oh." The woman looked terribly disappointed. "I hoped she would bring me news of Lucia so I could leave this wretched ring. Have you seen Lucia?"

"Er…no, I haven't met Lucia either. What do you mean, _leave this ring_?"

The woman looked at me closely. "I am dead, child. My spirit inhabits this ring. This ring is a piece of dark magic that has been in my family for generations. It allows my spirit to inhabit it until I am satisfied with what I am leaving behind."

"And you must speak to Emiliana before you can leave the ring?" I asked.

"Emiliana is my Secret Keeper. She is the only person who can give me information about Lucia. I thought there was a chance that I might be killed so Emiliana and I organised that upon my death, my body would vanish and my spirit would move into this ring until I could be sure that Lucia was safe."

"Killed?" I whispered.

The woman looked thoughtful. "Well it was more of a massacre. I was murdered amongst dozens of muggles by Death Eaters."

My heart must have skipped a beat. Murdered amongst _muggles_?

"Why were you near muggles anyway?" I asked.

"I was living in a muggle area that Emiliana thought was safe when I went into hiding. Little did she know that The Dark Lord had planned many attacks on muggle areas."

"But why were you in hiding?" I pressed.

"I don't know why you're so interested. We've never even met," said the woman, looking a little bemused. "Your name doesn't ring a bell…but your face _does_ look familiar…anyway… I haven't even told you my name. Hazel Merrigan. Pleased to meet you, Armilla Kemp."

"Yes, you too," I said quickly. I didn't want to lose time. Snape would be back soon. "Can you tell me why you were in hiding? Was it from He Who Must Not Be Named?"

"Not just him," she answered, shaking her head. "Before he attacked I had been hiding for a while from my husband. My husband was a very violent and vicious man. He was also a faithful Death Eater. He was convinced that he wanted a new heir to carry on his name and so it was that I became pregnant. He was _so_ excited about the pregnancy. He had all sorts of plans for our unborn child. An education at Durmstrang and as much dark arts training as possible. I didn't want it to happen. I didn't want this child to become a Death Eater and succumb to the power of The Dark Lord. So I fled when I was only a few months pregnant. Emiliana McGonagall, one of my best friends, agreed to be my Secret Keeper. I lived alone in the muggle house and had my baby there with Emiliana's help. My baby, little Lucia, is the most precious thing in my life. Emiliana promised to look out for her and make sure she was safe if I was killed. That is why it is so important that I speak to Emiliana."

Oh god. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was all too coincidental. Hazel had been killed in a muggle populated area. If she had been married to a Death Eater, chances were that she was a pureblood. She had given birth to a baby girl…

I knew there was one important thing I had to ask.

"All this happened years ago,' I said slowly. "Lucia would have to be fifteen years old by now. Is there anyway you would be able to identify Lucia?"

The woman's face brightened. "Oh _yes_," she said confidently. "When I died, something I had that was very precious was passed to my daughter. Lucia would have a silver bracelet on her left wrist, with a silver pendent with an emerald on it. That bracelet could have prolonged my life, but my daughter was dying. I made the decision to die myself so my daughter could wear the bracelet and have the chance to live. If only I could be sure that she is alright…"

I held up my left wrist with the bracelet for the woman to see. Her face paled.

"I'm alright," I whispered, my eyes watering. "I'm so glad I've found you, Mother."


	14. A temporary acquaintance

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 13

My mother's eyes were wide with shock, staring at the bracelet. Her bottom lip was trembling. I wasn't much better. My left arm, which I was still holding up, had started to shake. My legs suddenly felt numb and I was sure my knees were going to buckle.

"You're Lucia?" Hazel whispered.

"I don't know what my real name is," I whispered back. "My mother was killed in a muggle populated area and no one could identify me. They knew what the bracelet meant, but otherwise my identity was a mystery."

"But someone took you in? I wonder what happened to Emiliana…" Hazel looked very distressed. Even though her face was lined with concern and worry, I could tell my mother had been a very beautiful woman when she was alive. I wondered why she would have been married to a Death Eater. An arranged marriage perhaps…

"Yes," I said. A lady named Merle brought me up. She named me 'Armilla' because that is the Latin word for 'bracelet'."

"It is a beautiful name, child. But I can only look at you and think of Lucia." Hazel's eyes were full of tears.

I smiled at her. "I don't mind," I said. "I still _am_ Lucia. But I'll always be Armilla as well. I guess both names represent different things to me…different parts of my life."

"Of course," said Hazel, her smile reaching her teary eyes. "Tell me about Merle, child."

I told Hazel about my life with Merle and the events of recent weeks. She listened intently, her eyes filling with tears again as I mentioned that Merle had recently died. When I told her about Shar she looked terrified. When she spoke, she was obviously trying to hold back her sobs.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Lucia. I too know what it's like to be subjected to violence." She looked away, as if trying to compose herself. At length, she spoke again.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Merle died. You still need someone. Who is looking after you here?"

"Well, Professor Dumbledore is temporarily my guardian. I'm just staying in this wing while I recover, but I'll be going back to classes soon-" I suddenly broke off. I had been here way too long. Snape would probably be back any minute.

"Look, I've got to go. The Professor watching over me will be back any minute and he won't be impressed that I've left my room."

"Alright, dear." Hazel looked disappointed. "You will come back and see me before you go back to classes?"

"Of course I will!" I exclaimed. "Even after that! I'll have to tell Dumbledore that you're here."

"Yes," said Hazel, thoughtfully. "My ring cannot stay here forever though. I must be put to rest. I must make sure you'll be alright before I can."

"I _will_ be alright," I assured her. "I'll try and come back tomorrow. Goodbye."

My mother smiled at me, before softly blowing a kiss. "Goodbye, my dear child."

o o o o o o o o o o

I practically ran all the way back to my room, being extremely thankful that I didn't get lost. My heart was beating very fast, and not only from the running. I had found my mother. My _mother_.

As I sat down on my bed, something suddenly hit me. I had found my _dead_ mother's spirit. And I was going to lose her again as soon as she could be sure that I was going to be alright. A lump formed in my throat. I didn't want to lose her now that I had found her. I had gone my whole life not knowing her and I desperately wanted to have her around.

But I couldn't. She was a spirit. And her position was temporary. I wasn't going to have long at all with her. The emotional stress of the whole thing suddenly hit me hard and I became conscious of the tears that had started rolling down my cheeks. The lump in my throat seemed to have gotten bigger and my head hurt.

I just sat there in that state for awhile, until a noise out in the hall informed me that Snape had returned. Not wanting him to see me crying, I quickly escaped into the bathroom, locking the door. I heard him walk into my room, and then leave again, obviously having noticed I was in the bathroom.

I sat on the edge of the bath, not crying anymore, just staring straight ahead. I had only met my mother for a brief amount of time, but I knew that I loved her. I loved her so very deeply that it hurt to think that she would soon go away for good.

Maybe I was being selfish. My mother _deserved_ to rest in peace. It seemed to me that she had had a hard life. She had certainly suffered violence. She had been married to a Death Eater. Oh God…my father was (or still is, if he's alive) a _Death Eater_. My stomach lurched at the thought. He could have been among those who killed my mother and all those poor muggles. I retched. My face was sweaty and my hands were all clammy.

This was a lot of information to receive in such a small space of time. I had suddenly gone from only knowing that I was pureblood to having the spirit of my mother in a ring and a Death Eater for a Father! My stomach couldn't take it any longer. Thank God I was already in the bathroom because suddenly I was vomiting violently into the toilet. I had obviously gotten myself too worked up about all this, but honestly, I couldn't help it. And I had no one to talk to about it. Terry and Lisa weren't around and I certainly was _not_ going to talk to Snape.

I washed my face with cold water and sat down on the edge of the bath again. I would go back to my mother when Snape went to classes tomorrow. And I would have to figure out some way to keep seeing her once I'd returned to Ravenclaw.

There was a sharp knock on the bathroom door.

"Why are you _still_ in there, Miss Kemp? You've been in there for over twenty minutes and I need to speak with you." As usual, Snape sounded thoroughly irritated.

I looked in the mirror. My eyes weren't so blotchy anymore, but you could still tell that I had been crying. I wished Snape would just go and talk to me tomorrow instead. I really hoped he hadn't heard me vomiting because he might use that as an excuse to watch me eat every meal and stay with me until I had digested it too.

Impatient that I hadn't answered him straightaway, Snape rapped on the door again. "What on earth are you doing in there?" He sounded angry now.

Annoyed, I couldn't help but give a smartass answer. Honestly, did he have to stand there knocking on the door while I was in the bathroom?

"I'm in the bathroom, sir," I said in a neutral tone. "There are a limited number of things to do in the bathroom. Did you really want details because I would consider that as an invasion of my privacy."

I thought I heard him growl.

"Come out here at once!" he snapped. "I will not tolerate being spoken to like that. Ten points from Ravenclaw. You're very lucky Miss Kemp that I haven't been postponing detentions for you to complete once you leave here. In fact I-"

He stopped short as I opened the door. It was obvious right away that he knew I'd been crying. His expression was still hard as he stared at me.

"Well?" he said, sounding completely indifferent.

"Yes sir?"

"You are here under my care, Miss Kemp. For Merlin's sake what is the matter?" He folded his arms, never breaking his gaze.

"Nothing much," I said shortly, also trying to sound indifferent as I made my way over to my bed.

Snape snorted. "Indeed."

I got into bed and looked at him expectantly. "What did you want to talk to me about, Professor?"

Snape looked a bit put off by my rather abrupt change of subject, but he answered me all the same.

"I just came to inform you that your stay here is coming to an end. You will be returning to Ravenclaw in three days time. By then, all your injuries should be sufficiently healed. The Headmaster will come by to see you before you leave."

I nodded. "Alright," I said quietly. I looked at the floor. I had very limited time to see my mother before I went back.

Snape walked over to where his tray of healing potions sat and measured out my nightly dose. He handed them to me one by one and watched as I drank them all silently.

As I handed the last vial back to him, he looked at me closely for a moment. I looked down at my sheets, playing with the lacy hem.

"I suggest you get a good night's sleep, Miss Kemp," he said softly. He made towards the door.

"Professor?" I suddenly said, my voice shaking slightly. "Do you know anything about Emiliana McGonagall?"

Snape stopped short and turned around, a look of surprise showing briefly on his face. "And why would you ask something like that?" he said softly, regarding me intensely.

"Um…remember my…puddle dream?"

He snorted again and rolled his eyes. "How could I forget?" he said sarcastically.

"I just remember that name from the dream and I don't know anything about her or even if she exists? Does she?" I was trying very hard to make my voice sound indifferent.

Snape folded his arms, staring at me again. "She did exist. She died about fourteen years ago shortly before the fall of the Dark Lord. She was Professor McGonagall's sister."

"How did she die?"

"That isn't really any of your concern, Miss Kemp," he said shortly. I looked up at him.

"Was she murdered, Professor?"

He looked angry. "Yes," he hissed. "She was murdered in Hogsmeade and you do _not_ need to know any more than _that_. Understood?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

Someone must have known about Emiliana being my mother's Secret Keeper. It was all too coincidental that she was murdered before she could alert anyone of my mother's whereabouts and confirm my identity.

Snape walked towards the door. He turned around in the doorway. "Go to sleep, Miss Kemp. Do not stay awake thinking about things that are not your concern."

He walked out and I heard him scoff out in the hallway, loud enough for me to hear, "Puddle dreams indeed."


	15. The Merrigans and the Death Eater

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 14

I slept badly that night, tossing and turning as I faced dream after dream. Everything of course, related to my mother. In my dreams, the room the ring was in kept vanishing and appearing again in different parts of the castle, and Snape kept slipping in puddles in the Potions classroom, giving me detention each time.

Perhaps the strangest of all was the dream that featured Dumbledore. I can only assume that the muggle movie I saw a few years back, _Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me_ (Merle's friend Matilda had worked in Muggle Relations and loved to see movies) influenced the dream.

Dumbledore was doing an impression of Dr Evil (not a good one - for all his advanced magical ability, Dumbledore is _not_ a character actor) and was sitting in a swivel chair in his office. He rose to his feet and said (in exactly the same tone of Dr Evil in the movie) "Armilla, I am your father."

"Really?" I said.

"No, not really. I can't back that up." He then sat down again on the swivel chair and made it go round and round, squealing "Wheeeeeeeee!"

Weird. Very weird.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

I only saw Snape briefly in the morning when he came in to give me breakfast and my healing potions (the number of which had significantly reduced now). He barely spoke two words to me, except to say that he would be back at lunchtime. I would have concluded that the man was by no means a morning person, but I was not really convinced that _any_ part of the day brought out the best in him.

I was quite glad that he only stayed for a short amount of time because I wanted to get off to see my mother as early as I could. I did race through my breakfast though to avoid any more trouble.

I practically ran all the way to the ring room (that's what my mind named it – highly creative, huh?) in my eagerness to see Hazel. I touched the puddle-like substance inside the ring, and like before, my mother's face came into view. When she saw me, her face lit up.

"Hello, my child."

"Hi." I honestly didn't know what to call my mother. I had never called anyone _Mum_, including Merle. Hazel seemed to pick up what I was thinking.

"You don't have to call me _Mother_ if you do not wish too, but it would be lovely if you did. Before I died you had just started to call me _Ma_." She smiled at the thought, obviously reliving happier times of her life.

I smiled at her, completely enchanted by the thought that this woman had brought me into the world. It seemed like we had just met.

A darker thought crossed my mind, and I closed my eyes, reliving my dreams from the night before.

"Something is troubling you, Lucia?" asked my mother. "Is there any way I can help you?"

I stared at her. What I wanted to know involved opening up a subject that I knew would be painful for her. But I had to know. As if reading my thoughts, my mother saved me from asking the question myself.

"You want to know about your father."

"Yes," I whispered, dropping my eyes to my feet. I could nearly feel her eyes fixed determinedly on mine. I looked back at her again.

"Do not feel bad asking me about him," she said. "As his daughter, you have every right to know about him. You have come this far without any knowledge of your family. I will do my best to get you acquainted with your family history. That is, if you have time." She raised an eyebrow. "Will your teacher be back soon?"

"Not for a few hours," I said quickly. "Tell me everything…Mother."

Mother smiled, showing a set of perfect white teeth. She took a deep breath and began.

"I came from an elite wizarding family. The Merrigans had always been a strictly pureblood family. Of course, they were extremely old fashioned and they rather viewed themselves as a notch above everyone else. Arranged marriages were essential. There was never any choice as to whom you were to be wed. The perfect recipe was two pureblood families with plenty of money. If you dishonoured your family – the consequences were dire.

I was the only child in my family and heiress to the Merrigan fortune. My mother died when I was very young and my father, who never remarried, was most anxious to see me marry into another Pureblood family. It would be an understatement to say that my father was an authoritarian. In his own little world, he was King. But he was a good man behind it all. Though strict about only breeding purebloods, he wasn't a supporter of muggle killings. He just thought the wizarding and muggle worlds should never be associated.

As soon as I finished my education at Hogwarts, where I was a Ravenclaw student, my father made plans for my marriage. His health was failing quickly and he became obsessed to see me married before he passed. And so it came to be that I married Aurelius while I was still in my late teens.

On the outside, Aurelius was always a picture of goodness, donating money and hosting many dinner parties for Ministry members. But our home life was something quite different. He was ten years older than me and that seemed to make all the difference to him. He was in charge. There were many unhappy times, especially in those first few years. After my father died, Aurelius' behaviour became even worse. He became obsessed about producing an heir. Someone he could mould into a likeness of himself."

I shivered. I was suddenly thankful that I had never known my father. The thought of him awaiting my birth so he could _mould_ me sent shivers running down my spine. I wondered how different I would be today if I had been raised by him and not by Merle.

"He was a Death Eater wasn't he?" I blurted out.

Mother looked nonchalant.

"Yes," she said, simply. "Your father was very much fascinated by the Dark Arts, and being a Death Eater suited his beliefs and…_tastes_."

She scowled for a second and then continued. "Your father certainly mixed with the wrong crowd, and I wasn't the only one who suffered for it," she said sadly.

"Not the only one?" I said, nonplussed.

"Yes," she said. "Your father and I-"

"MISS KEMP! What are you doing down here?"

Damn it! Damn. Damn. Damn. What a time to interrupt. Oh, was I going to be in trouble now…

I looked around at Snape, who was standing in the doorway, seething with rage.

"Answer wisely, Miss Kemp," he spat. "You are in deep trouble. How dare you come down here and-"

He broke off as the ring in front of me caught his attention. He strode forward and came to stand next to me. He gazed into the ring at my mother. His face, which he was so famous for always keeping indifferent, showed a hint of disbelief.

Mother was gazing up at him, their eyes never breaking contact.

"Hello, Severus," she said softly.

Snape continued staring, as if he was in a trance. Then something seemed to stir in those dark eyes and he blinked.

"Mother," he said.


	16. Alohomora

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 15

"What?" I blurted out, admittedly a little ungracefully. I gaped at Snape. He was still staring at my mother, his eyes narrowing as he began to examine the ring.

"_Your_ mother?" I pressed, completely nonplussed. What the hell was going on?

Snape looked at me suddenly, as if only just noticing I was even in the room.

"Yes, _my_ mother, Miss Kemp," he said coldly, his face hard as if daring me to contradict him.

Oh God, this was turning into some sort of melodrama. I started looking wildly around the room, as if hoping a wizard would pop out of thin air and announce "Surprise, you've been duped!" I looked anywhere except at Snape or Mother.

Snape chose to ignore me; he seemed to be more intent on solving the mystery of why his mother was in a ring.

"I received a notice that you had died," he said quietly to Mother. "The Ministry had no idea what had happened. Your vault containing the Merrigan fortune at Gringott's had suddenly changed itself so it was under my name. The same happened with all the paperwork regarding the Merrigan Estate and assets. That only ever happens when someone dies, so the Ministry officially pronounced you dead without ever identifying a…body." Snape stopped abruptly and closed his eyes.

I stared at him in horror, but he did not look at me. How could he know about the Merrigan fortune? How could _Snape_ be in possession of everything that had belonged to _my_ Mother? I didn't want to admit it to myself; the thought was just too horrible. But even so…_Snape_ of all people…must be my…_brother_. I shuddered silently. Excellent. Just spiffing. I had found my _identity_. I had found my _mother_…sort of. And to top it all off, I had found…_Professor Snape_. Good Lord, I _was_ a Snape. Gee whiz, don't you just _love_ happy endings?

Snape opened his eyes and continued to gaze at Mother. She was staring back at him – and again I didn't really want to admit it – but she was staring at him _lovingly_.

"Oh Severus," she said. "I _am_ dead. I was killed amongst muggles in a Death Eater attack."

Snape started at the mention of _Death Eater_. I wasn't surprised. Merle had told me about Snape's role.

"How could you have been killed amongst muggles?" he whispered. "Where was _Father_?" He tone turned vicious when he mentioned his father.

"I thought you had left us for good, Severus," Mother answered, peering up at her son. "I had nothing left to stay for. Your father was convinced that you had become a traitor to the Dark Lord and had you disgraced and disowned from the family, as I'm sure you remember. Your father had a terrible quarrel with Lucius Malfoy over it one night. Lucius was absolutely convinced that you were more faithful to the Dark Lord than you had ever been and that it was just personal differences that had estranged you from your father."

"It was more than _personal differences_," Snape muttered.

"Aurelius was not to be convinced," Mother continued. "He said he devoted all those years of his life preparing you to take over the Snape Estate and be worthy of the name."

Snape snorted.

"Do not snort, Severus, it is not good manners. After you left home and were disowned - and by your father _only_ I might add - Aurelius was determined that we produce another heir to the Snape Estate. I was not happy with the idea, but as you know, Aurelius got his way with everything. I fled before it was certain that I was pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Snape repeated, his face going even paler.

"Yes Severus. Pregnant. A friend became my Secret Keeper and I lived in a muggle area up until the time I was killed. The Dark Lord's power was rapidly growing at the time. I had given birth in June and was killed in the September of the following year."

Snape's mouth was slightly open. I had never seen him look so shocked. In fact, come to think of it, I had _never_ seen Snape look shocked.

"But how did you come to be in this ring?" he said slowly in a low voice. "Is it your spirit or something?"

"Yes, my spirit inhabits this ring. My friend arranged for my spirit to inhabit this ring if I died with matters unattended to. I would inhabit this ring until the time came when I could properly be at peace."

Snape looked calculatingly at Mother. "What business is there that still needs attending to?" He folded his arms. "I can deal with it for you, whatever it is."

Mother smiled at him. "That is exactly what I was hoping for Severus. The unfinished business is in regards to the welfare of my baby."

Snape's eyes widened. "Your…_baby_?" he seemed to choke. "I assumed your…_baby_…died as well."

"No," she said softly. "Well, my baby was dying at the time. My life was prolonged, since I was wearing the bracelet that had been passed down through the female line. That bracelet has numerous powers, Severus, one being the prolonging of life no matter how dire the situation. I couldn't bear to see my child suffering as she was. I knew the baby would die before I did. I cannot even remember how it happened, but I was wishing that my baby would live in my place. Then somehow the bracelet had gone from my wrist and appeared on Lucia's wrist. After that…I died." Mother wiped a tear from her eye. "My body vanished and my spirit came to possess this ring."

Snape looked at Mother for what seemed like ages. His expression was hard. It seemed every muscle in his face was pulled tight. "How did this ring come to be here at Hogwarts?" he finally asked.

Hmmm, he seemed to be avoiding the important question of what had happened to his _sister_…

"My friend and I had arranged it all," replied Mother. "Emiliana had known about some secret wing at Hogwarts where the ring would be protected until she had alerted the right people about the situation. She brought the ring here and I have been here waiting for her to come back ever since."

Snape had started at the mention of the name Emiliana. He shot a scathing look at me…maybe Emiliana reminded him of dreams with puddles…

"Emiliana McGonagall?" he asked quietly, as if he already knew the answer.

"Yes, Emiliana McGonagall."

"She was killed in a Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade around the time of your death," said Snape lowering his eyes. "She must have just left you at Hogwarts when she was killed."

Mother's eyes were teary again. "Then that explains it," she said weakly. "My daughter has grown up not knowing her brother or even who she is." Mother paused to sniff and wipe her nose.

"I'm sure she's fine nonetheless," said Snape dismissively. "No need to start a search and play happy families," he sneered.

"Severus!"

Snape blinked. "Yes?"

"Happy families indeed! I know your childhood wasn't the best. Nor was mine, I might add. But I haven't inhabited this ring for all this time for you to decide your sister doesn't need you."

"I dare say _Lucia_ doesn't need me."

"I will not argue with you on this point, Severus. Especially not in front of your sister."

Snape's eyes widened yet again. He whirled around to face me. I looked back at him.

"My mother appears to think you are my sister," he sneered.

I didn't answer him. I kept meeting his gaze. His dark eyes bored into mine. Then suddenly he looked down at the silver bracelet on my wrist. He turned back to Mother.

"I suppose Miss Kemp here was feeling adventurous this morning and decided to take a stroll – _against_ my wishes," Snape glared at me. "She came across you here and has shown you her bracelet. You have concluded that she is a Snape?" He sounded awfully sarcastic about all this.

"We did talk for awhile before we made the discovery, Severus," said Mother in a hard voice. "Did you know that Lucia here has never known her parents or even what her real name is?"

Snape folded his arms, sneering. "I _did_ know that. I would remind you that her name is not Lucia. Just because she has never known her parents does not mean she is my sister. Miss Kemp is not the only witch who is currently wearing that sort of bracelet. Lucia could be anywhere."

"Lucia was found in the remains of a muggle populated area as baby. She was given to someone else to raise."

"And that someone is probably doing a satisfactory job of it," he snapped, getting angry.

"She _was_ doing a satisfactory job,' I said heatedly. "But she died. You touched the bracelet yourself, Professor. You can't deny that you felt that same weird warm feeling I did."

Snape threw his arms up in frustration, obviously thinking that he was dealing with the minds of two small children.

"I can offer you proof, Severus," said Mother. "Another power of that bracelet is that the locket will open if it is commanded to by an immediate family member. It will project a family tree detailing all the witches who have worn the bracelet. All you need is a simple unlocking spell. Go on then. If it doesn't work then Lucia here is not my child or your sister and I will be more than willing to offer you my apologies."

Snape hesitated, looking from Mother to me. Finally, he stepped towards me.

"Give me your arm," he muttered gruffly as he yanked my arm and held my wrist in his hand. He touched the locket. Once again an incredible feeling of warmth swept through me. If Snape had felt it too, he hadn't let on this time. He took out his wand and pointed it at the locket.

"_Alohomora!_"

The locket burst opened and a strong silvery ray immediately projected from it. Names of witches appeared in a list with their birth and death dates next to them.

Snape stared at it silently. The fact that the locket had opened for him had proven he was my brother.

I scanned the names towards the bottom of the list.

_Margaretta Hewitt b. 1837 d. 1917_

_Cecelia Malfoy b. 1862 d. 1930_

_Emilie Lestrange b. 1893._ _d. 1941_

_Clotilde McHutchinson b. 1919 d. 1944_

_Hazel Merrigan b. 1940 d. 1981_

_Lucia Snape b. 1980 d._

There I was. Lucia Snape. Professor Snape's younger sister.

After a few seconds, Snape disabled the spell. He didn't look at me. He didn't look at our mother. Instead he spun on his heal and stormed out of the room.


	17. Aftershocks

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 16

As the sound of Snape's footsteps died away, I moved closer to the ring, where Snape had been standing.

"That went well," I commented dryly.

Mother pursed her lips. She did not seem angry, but merely thoughtful. "Indeed," she said softly. "Still much the same," she said, more to herself than to me. "Doesn't like to not be in control of his world at all times…"

We were both silent for a few moments. I was thinking about what Mother had just said. Snape did seem to be one of those people who did not react well to surprises or changes that might affect their day-to-day living. Some people loved the way life was full of unexpected twists and turns. Certainly not Snape. Though, admittedly, this was a rather large surprise.

Suddenly Mother gave a little chuckle. Her eyes were shining and she seemed to be staring wistfully into the distance. At my questioning look, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I was just thinking about the birthday party I threw for Severus when he turned six. It was a surprise party and when all the little children jumped up when I brought Severus in, the poor dear was so startled he hexed them all! The parents certainly were not impressed," Mother laughed. "But to this day, I'm sure Severus does not regret that he did it."

"I wouldn't think so," I said, smiling. Mother certainly had a way of lightening the mood. But I couldn't seem to appreciate that as much as I would have liked. My thoughts were so jumbled up.

The image of Snape storming out kept replaying in my head. I didn't know why his reaction bothered me so much. It was not like I had expected to him to open his arms wide and say "Dear sister! What time we have lost! Let us go and have tea – I have much to acquaint you with!" Actually, I would have been _more_ worried if he had said something like that. I mean, I hated the guy. He could be unnecessarily nasty and…and…well he was just a git. A git who just happened to be my older brother. I guessed I would have been confused with any reaction I got from Snape.

But where to go from here? It was clearly my mother's intention to have Snape be my guardian and let her spirit be released. But evidently, Snape wasn't fussed with the idea of even having a sibling, let alone playing parent. And I couldn't entertain the idea either of "playing happy families" as Snape had so eloquently put it.

It seemed as though I was stuck in the same rut as before. Dumbledore only had temporary guardianship of me and had to find a suitable person to take me in. I bet once he found out he'd try and convince Snape to take on what my mother felt to be his _brotherly_ duty. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be taken in by _anyone_ who was being forced to. Snape would have a permanent grudge against me for eternity. My head was starting to hurt.

"Don't worry, Lucia," said Mother. "Severus wouldn't leave you to starve, now would he?"

"Of course not," I muttered. "As my teacher he wouldn't let that happen. But as my brother he would want nothing more than to hand over responsibility to anyone else and wash his hands of the entire situation." By the time I had finish speaking, my voice had grown louder, not to mention increasingly bitter.

My mother stared at me for a long moment.

"I take it he is not a popular teacher here? He does not like you?"

"It's not just _me_. There are few people he might actually have a civil conversation with. He's awful to _all_ the students and handing out detentions appears to be a favourite pastime of his."

"I see," Mother looked thoughtful. "Severus is, and always has been, a very complicated person, Lucia. His disposition always struck many a person as taciturn and cold. That was how he was raised to be by his father. As his mother though, I will tell you that Severus _does_ feel. He feels deeply beyond the exterior you see everyday. I give you my word that, though not always at once, Severus will always do what is best where it matters."

o o o o o o o o o o

As I walked back to my room about half an hour later, I was extremely wary of meeting Snape. I was afraid that he might be waiting for me to rant and rave that as far as _he_ was concerned, he had _no_ sister. Not that I was willing to openly acknowledge the bond that had suddenly sprung up between us, but I didn't really want to feel the rejection, even a rejection from Severus Snape.

There was silence in the hallway and I found my bedroom to be empty. I briefly wondered why Snape had returned so early to the wing anyway. I supposed he had returned to the dungeons for now, and I hoped he would stay there for a long while.

I spent the rest of the morning on schoolwork, though I wasn't in the mood or state of mind. Lunchtime came and went and I saw no sign of Snape. I supposed Snape thought it a suitable first punishment (for being related to him) to rob me of my lunch. I wasn't hungry anyway.

I spent the early part of the afternoon on more schoolwork. By three o'clock I had nothing to do. I supposed I could have studied for my OWLs, but I knew I wasn't about to let any more information sink in today. For a long while I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, letting thoughts crash into each other in my head. Snape, Dumbledore, Mother, Merle, Aurelius…My head was really hurting by late afternoon.

Dinnertime came and went and still Snape didn't show. By eight o'clock my head was pounding from lack of food and the previous headache. My stomach was still churning and I felt sluggish. I got up and took a long shower.

At nine I decided to just turn the light out and go to bed. I stayed awake for what seemed like another hour before I started drifting off…

_I was walking into the Great Hall for breakfast. All of a sudden there was silence as everyone looked at me. Eyes from all direction followed me as I made my way to my place and sat down between Lisa and Terry. Terry looked appalled and Lisa looked nervous. The silence around me was broken by muffled whispers. Terry was edging away from me and Lisa was refusing to meet my eye. I looked down the table towards the first years, all of whom gave frightened squeaks at my gaze and turned away._

_I looked over at the Hufflepuff table. Many were still looking at me, some with trepidation and many with pity. I snuck a glance at the Gryffindors. The Weasleys looked utterly revolted and Harry Potter was looking at me with a sort of anxious look on his face. When our eyes met, he looked away quickly and fixed his gaze on Cho Chang instead._

_The anxious feeling in the air was too much to bear and I didn't feel like eating breakfast. I got up and began to make my way out again. I stopped when I heard cheering and clapping to my right. The Slytherins were standing on their chairs, whistling and clapping, all of them looking at me. Draco Malfoy yelled out, "Come and join Slytherin, Armilla! It's where all Snapes belong!"_

_I started to run. I had to get out of the hall. I didn't want to be a Snape. I was Armilla Kemp, no one else. Lucia Snape didn't exist anymore. The Great Hall doors slammed shut before I could get out. I screamed and flung my arms out in exasperation and-'_

"Ow!"

I was in my bed, not the Great Hall. And from the looks of it, I had just _struck_…Snape.

Lovely. He did not look happy. He was sitting in the chair next to my bed and was rubbing his upper arm, glaring at me in the dim light which he must have put on when he had entered. I groaned and rubbed my eyes.

"What did you dream this time, Miss Kemp? Trying to attack someone?" Snape glared at me.

"I wouldn't have hit you if you _hadn't_ been in here," I said angrily.

"No," he said silkily. "It does appear that your temperament is a rather violent one whilst sleeping. I'll be on my guard in future."

"What did you want?" I asked, still angrily, sitting up so he wasn't looking down at me.

"Watch your tone with me," he said darkly. "I came to give you the last of your healing potions. _You_ are to go back to school the day after tomorrow and so _I_ can return to my own quarters." He held out the first vial to me. I didn't take it.

"Shouldn't it be taken with _food_, sir?" I glared at him. I hadn't taken the potions with food before, but I wasn't going to let the skipped meals pass.

Snape thrust the vial into my hand and uncorked the next one.

"Drink it," he hissed.

I glared back at him.

"I don't _want_ it. I'm fine without it."

Snape's nostrils flared. The look he gave me was absolutely deadly, but _he_ was in the wrong. We _both_ knew that.

"You will drink these when I tell you to, Miss _Kemp_," he spat. "Then I will get you something to eat."

"It's late," I said quietly. "I don't want food anymore."

"That is not for you to decide," he said curtly. "Drink the potion or we shall begin discussing appropriate detentions for your disobedience."

Stupid git. I sighed, and then downed the potion and all the others Snape handed to me. Then he got up and walked out with them, leaving the dim light on.

I lay down and drifted off to sleep again.

"Miss Kemp!" Someone was shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes blearily to find Snape, once again, glaring down at me. I didn't bother sitting up this time. Snape had other ideas.

"Sit up and eat your dinner. You are not going to sleep until it is all eaten." He put a plate holding a cheese sandwich on my lap. Clearly, he hadn't liked me having a go at him and he had to win at this. _Of course_.

Snape sat down next to me and opened a Potions journal. I looked down at the sandwich. My stomach was screaming at me to eat it, but all I really wanted to do was hurl it at Snape. The moment would be funny while it lasted but I was not sure the year of detentions that would follow would be entirely worth it…

So I ate it. And I felt better. Snape didn't look up at all the whole time. I thought of Terry and Lisa and what they would think if they happened to walk in now. The sight of me sitting in bed, finishing a cheese sandwich with Snape reading a Potions journal right next to me must look really weird. I dreaded telling my friends about the whole ordeal.

I put the plate on the table next to me.

"Can I sleep now, sir?" I muttered quietly. "Is that allowed?"

Snape lowered his journal and looked over at me. He had opened his mouth, obviously to say something cutting and to tell me to be careful what I said to him. But he abruptly closed it again.

We sat looking, or rather glaring, at each other for a few moments. Eventually Snape got up and made for the door. He turned around in the doorway.

"Tomorrow, you are to stay in here. No wandering about to visit-" he stopped short again. I guessed he didn't feel comfortable saying "your mother" when she was _his_ mother too. I found that unsettling too.

"Be warned," he continued. "I shall know if you move out of your delegated area. It is not…safe for you to be exploring this wing, especially on your own. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, meeting his gaze indifferently. So he didn't want me to see my mother. Maybe he was afraid I would find out all sorts of things he didn't want me to know…including surprise birthday parties.

I would tell Dumbledore at first possible chance. He was my guardian for now after all. It was he who had the right to say what I could or couldn't do.

Snape said nothing more. He waved his wand, spelling the light off and left, closing the door behind him.

I lay down again and for the third time that night, drifted off to sleep again.


	18. Custody

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 17

The next morning I woke to find a bowl of porridge on my bedside table. Snape had obviously left it there and hadn't bothered to wake me. It was stone cold, but as the cheese sandwich the night before had done nothing for my appetite, I ate it anyway. Leaving it there as it was would only give Snape something else to complain about anyway.

I still had no schoolwork to do, so I contented myself with reading my Potions textbook. Yes, very Ravenclaw of me, but I had the sneaking suspicion that when I returned to school, Snape would not be going easy on me in his class. I supposed it would really pain him if his own sister could not prove herself thoroughly adept at his own area of expertise. To save my own neck, I didn't want to make any mistakes, or have Snape put me on the spot with a hard question to try and embarrass me. And so it was that by the time lunchtime came, I had read the book over twice and memorised a large amount of stuff I didn't have to know yet.

I was just wondering if Snape was gong to bother bringing me any lunch when Dumbledore strolled into the room carrying it on a tray, along with some schoolwork. At my failure to suppress my shocked expression, Dumbledore gave a small chuckle.

"I suppose you have gotten used to only seeing Professor Snape around here," he said, merrily. "How have you two been getting along?'' He set the tray down and sat down next to me.

I gave a small shrug. "I don't really see him much, except when he brings schoolwork and meals." I thought for a moment, before adding. "And that is more than enough for me."

Dumbledore laughed again, the twinkle in his eye more pronounced than ever. "Well, Severus was never really one for hospitality, Armilla." He gave me a significant look. "Or should I say _Lucia_?"

A lump formed in my throat. Lucia Snape. Daughter and sister of Death Eaters.

"No," I said stiffly. "Armilla is my name, and it has been for about fourteen years now. Lucia Snape doesn't exist anymore and nor is she making a reappearance."

Dumbledore looked at me sadly. "No one is going to make you be who you do not want to be, Armilla. As I have said before to another, you alone are in charge of who you are and who you will be in future. To the people who count, your name does not determine your status in our world, your traits or your prospects. Whether you are Armilla Kemp or Lucia Snape, it will not change who you are on the inside."

The lump in my throat was growing bigger. Dumbledore leaned forward and took my hand in his. "Everyone concerned in this only wants the best for you. This recent discovery has of course, caused a tremendous shock for both you and Severus."

I met his gaze. "I've been so desperate to find out who I really was all my life, Professor," I said softly. "Merle was the best parent anyone could ever ask for." I gave a small sigh. "And yet, I still wasn't content. Maybe it was selfish of me to be so anxious to find out who my real family was, when Merle _was_ my family where it really counted."

"No, it wasn't selfish, Armilla," said Dumbledore seriously. "I agree with you whole heartedly that Merle did a splendid job in raising you. It was, however, only natural that you would want to find out more about yourself. In fact, all these years, Merle was just as anxious for you to find your real family because she suspected she would not live into your adult years."

I tried to stifle a sob. I had been trying not to think about Merle over the past few days. There seemed to be so many things I still wanted to say to her, but couldn't now because it was too late.

Dumbledore squeezed my hand. "And so you have found your brother, I hear."

"Yes," I said, trying to sound indifferent. "And neither one of us is thrilled about it."

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes," he admitted. "Severus has related his experience of yesterday to me." He looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't say Severus is disgusted, Armilla. I'd be lying if I said he was thrilled. I think right now that it is just shock. He has found out that one of his Ravenclaw students is his sister and you have found out that the Head of Slytherin is indeed your brother. I suppose to say that you are both shocked is an understatement."

I nodded. "Yes."

Dumbledore looked serious again. "Now," he said. "We do need to discuss the issue of guardianship. As you know, I am only your guardian temporarily and it is my responsibility to find you a suitable guardian, one who is willing to assume responsibility for all your needs."

I felt alarmed. "You're not going to suggest Professor Snape just because he's my brother?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "I know that is your mother's wish, Armilla. I have just come from speaking with her. But I know that is not your wish right now."

"No, it really isn't. And I'm sure it's not Snape's wish either."

"_Professor_ Snape, Armilla. At present, Professor Snape does not believe he is…_suited_ to the role of a parent. We did have a discussion about it earlier. But I will say that he is also aware that he cannot neglect you altogether either. He has not denied that he is your brother and it is his duty to assume at least some responsibility for you."

"_Duty_?" I scoffed. "I'm sure he wishes he had nothing to do with any of this."

Dumbledore looked pensive. "You never know, Armilla. This may turn out to be a blessing in disguise for both of you. I will put myself forward and say that I believe I know Severus better than anyone, and I seriously think you underestimate him."

I said nothing. If Snape wanted to give me a good impression of his character, he would have to show it to me first hand.

"I cannot make all the decisions myself though," Dumbledore went on. "I do have to meet with the Family Services Department the Ministry. I can only put forward recommendations and they have the right to veto any of them." Dumbledore sighed. "Given my reputation with the Ministry at present, I hope they are willing to cooperate with me and not override me just for the sake of it."

"Who do you have in mind, sir?" I asked quietly.

"Well I know a few childless couples who would only be too delighted to have you. I do not mean though to have them take full custody of you. Like I said, Severus has ah…_agreed_ to have a say in some of your dealings."

"Wonderful," I muttered, not really meaning it.

Dumbledore got up to leave. He looked tired and I suddenly felt guilty.

"Thankyou for everything you have done for me these past few days, sir," I said, really meaning it.

Dumbledore smiled. "Always a pleasure to be of service to such a remarkable Ravenclaw…and the younger sister of a dear acquaintance." He turned to leave.

"Sir," I said suddenly. "Professor Snape said I was not to leave my room. Does that mean that once I leave here I can't see my mother at all?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, it does not mean that. Tomorrow you go back to school and will have no need to return to this wing. I do not want Professor Umbridge knowing any of these dealings at present. I will remove your mother's ring myself tomorrow and put it away in my office. You will be welcome at any time to come and see her. But you do understand that her presence in the ring will soon come to an end?"

I nodded. "Yes, I understand that."

Dumbledore nodded. "I will speak with you again soon then, once I have met with the Family Services Department."

"Yes, sir."

o o o o o o o o o o o

I spent the afternoon on the schoolwork Dumbledore had left for me and was just finishing it when Snape returned from his afternoon classes.

He strode purposefully into the room and stood at the foot of my bed.

"I trust that the Headmaster spoke with you today?"

'Yes, sir.'

He nodded curtly. "Now that you are returning to classes tomorrow we need to set this story straight."

I nodded.

He folded his arms. "You have been staying with Merle's friend Matilda all this time. Your dealings with Shar are known and we will acknowledge that it happened and that he has been dealt with. He is currently spending a few months in Azkaban."

"Oh," I said. About time someone told me.

Snape continued as if I had said nothing at all. "Your friends may know that Professor Dumbledore is your guardian and that he is currently looking for a family for you. Under _no_ circumstances are you to tell _anybody_ about our relationship. It would threaten my role in the Order and I could not tell you what would happen if the Slytherins found out about you being my sister."

I stared at Snape, slightly shocked. That was the first time he had actually acknowledged that I was his sister.

Snape thought for a moment. "It is highly important that you keep this to yourself, Miss Kemp. The Dark Lord would be most interested to know about you and it goes without saying that then you would be in a _very_ dangerous position. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, very seriously. The idea of You-Know-Who knowing about me had made the lump fall into my stomach. "Do you want this necklace back then, sir?" I asked, touching the fine chain with the pearl that was still around my neck.

Snape stared at it, as if weighing up something in his mind. "The powers of that necklace work outside this wing too," he said. "As long as you wear it I will know if you are safe. I would prefer it if you continued to wear it." His expression was indifferent, but those words sounded as if he was concerned underneath.

"Alright then," I said simply.

Snape nodded and turned to go.

"I will bring your dinner by later," he said, moving towards the door. "Tomorrow you will have breakfast in the Great Hall so be prepared to leave."

"Yes, sir."

The lump that was still in my stomach seemed to say that the worst was still yet to come.


	19. An Unwelcome Surprise

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 18

I awoke early the next morning after a bad night's sleep and was ready to leave long before Snape appeared in the doorway, grunting at me to follow him.

I walked quickly out of the room and slowed down when I was walking beside him. I was filled with great trepidation about the day ahead. I was worried about appearing convincing to my friends. The thought of keeping this particular secret from them was really eating away at me. But then again, somehow I was also strangely comforted that I didn't have to tell Lisa and Terry about Snape because I wasn't entirely sure they would accept it.

I was also terrified of slipping up. I was going to have to be constantly alert to my reactions to things, what I said and to whom. I didn't want to be responsible for causing problems for the Order or Snape's role.

We turned into a corridor I hadn't explored and walked along in silence. I hated the silence – to be honest I was more comfortable with sarcastic remarks – though insulting, I could always silently laugh at the humour under the surface.

The corridor seemed to go on for ages. We must have been walking for a few minutes before the surroundings in the corridor suddenly changed. The colour of the floor and walls abruptly changed to different shades but we were still in the same corridor. Snape ignored my gasp of surprise – he was rather preoccupied with glaring at the air in front of him. We walked on for another minute or so until there was a sudden turn that led us onto the upper level of Dumbledore's office.

I stopped, startled at the surprise of where the corridor had led to. Last time I had been in here was when I had reappeared after Shar's attack.

I followed Snape down the stairs and saw Dumbledore sitting at his desk, obviously waiting for us. He gave a smile as he nodded at each of us.

"Good morning, Severus." Snape gave a small, and if possible, _irritated _nod.

"I trust you're feeling well enough to return to classes today, Armilla?" Dumbledore fixed his twinkling blue eyes on me.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Snape took it upon himself to reply for me.

"If she's well enough to go on dangerous expeditions without permission or considerations for the consequences then she's well enough to return to classes." Snape gave me a withering glare.

I glared right back at him. "I don't regret doing it," I said smoothly. Oops…maybe that was going too far…

Snape had narrowed his eyes, possibly entertaining the thought of giving me an awful detention. Dumbledore, however, chose to speak at that point, attempting to melt away the icy manner between us.

"Now what happened in the past few days is _past_, Severus," he said, smiling. "We mustn't let _sibling rivalry_ get in the way of dealing with present issues."

Snape abruptly turned away from me and sent Dumbledore a deadly glare instead.

Dumbledore appeared not to notice. "Armilla, you may go down to breakfast. Then you will return to all your classes. Make sure you are very careful having conversations regarding where you have been. If possible, don't divulge much information at all."

"Yes, sir," I said, moving towards the door. Snape called after me.

"Miss Kemp, until I say otherwise you will come down to my office every night after dinner for an hour or two. You need to catch up on the practical potions lessons you have missed. Make sure you are prompt."

"Yes, sir," I said, quietly. I had thought I would have to catch up on practical potions, but I also thought Snape wanted to see me every night to make sure I hadn't slipped up during the day.

I left the office and descended the spiralling staircase. I met no one on my way to the Great Hall except for a few late first year Hufflepuffs running past me in to the Hall. I walked in; trying to make myself look as small as possible (it wasn't that hard, most of the third year girls were taller than me). Lisa and Terry seemed to be in deep conversation over the next Hogsmeade trip as I moved silently towards my seat.

"I don't care if you buy one for me, I will _not_ eat a cockroach cluster!" said Lisa indignantly.

"But they're great," said Terry. "They run about inside your mouth!"

"Honestly, Terry," I said, slipping into my seat next to Lisa. "You have the worst taste."

"Milla!" Lisa squealed, throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly. "I've missed you sooooo much. How are you? We're so sorry about Merle. Are you okay? Did you just get back now? Dumbledore told us you were staying with Matilda."

"Stop talking, Lisa," said Terry, smiling at her. "One question at a time." He grinned at me and shook my hand in a mock pompous manner from across the table. "Great to have you back, Mill."

I smiled. "It's wonderful to be back here," I said, honestly. "I missed you two as well."

"We're really sorry you haven't heard from us, Mill," said Terry. "Dumbledore told us not to send you anything because he didn't want Umbridge knowing your exact whereabouts."

"Yeah, that's right," I said, still honestly. "Dumbledore didn't really think my whereabouts were Umbridge's business. I've just been sending schoolwork in – I didn't want to fall behind."

"Very good," said Lisa approvingly.

"Ever the model Ravenclaw," Terry laughed. "Eat something, Armilla."

I helped myself to some toast while Terry and Lisa filled me in on all that had been happening in the school that Snape hadn't told me about. I really enjoyed being with my friends again, and as I heard ridiculous tales about educational decrees and reapplying for clubs and organisations, the past week seemed to fade away into the back of my mind.

"And so you'll have to be really careful in Umbridge's classes, Milla," said Lisa, seriously, pouring herself more coffee. "Don't take anything in your bag except your Defence books and quills and stuff. Umbridge is on the warpath and it has become so easy to get expelled."

I nodded, glancing around the Great Hall. At the Gryffindor table, the Weasley twins seemed to be marketing their latest product. One of the first year boys had sprouted a trunk and looked as though he might cry. Hermione Granger was pursing her lips, as if debating whether to tell the twins off in front of everyone.

At the Slytherin table, Malfoy was showing off some present he had just received from home. I suddenly felt sick when the thought crossed my mind that I might have ended up in Slytherin if I had been raised by my real parents. My mother had been a Ravenclaw, but obviously her husband's influence over their son had landed Snape in Slytherin. I wondered briefly if Snape had ever wished _he_ had been a Ravenclaw like his mother.

Speaking of Snape...I looked up at the staff table in time to see Snape sit down next to Professor McGonagall. Professor McGonagall leaned over and said something to Snape, who nodded. McGonagall then spoke again, a wicked smile playing about her lips. Snape shot her a nasty glare and she laughed before diverting her gaze to the Ravenclaw table. I guessed she was looking for me so I quickly looked down at my plate. So she _knew_. Snape or Dumbledore had seen fit to tell McGonagall about what had happened, but I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. I wondered how many other Order members knew.

"Armilla? Hello? Come on, we're going. Charms starts in ten minutes." Lisa was yanking my arm in an attempt to pull me up from the table. I got up, my gaze moving towards the staff table again. Snape was watching me closely. I turned my back and walked with my friends out of the hall.

The day passed without as much trouble as I had anticipated. Defence against the Dark Arts went by smoothly, except when I wanted to pretend I was throwing up when Umbridge said in her sweetest voice, "so _lovely_ to have you back, dear." It was also good because I didn't have Potions. Snape had seemed in an extremely bad mood that morning and I didn't want to spend any more time with him than I had to.

Terry and Lisa felt exceedingly sorry for me about having private practical Potions lessons with Snape. Terry said he would rather drink Neville Longbottom's potions than face every evening alone in Snape's company. I would admit, though I hated the git, I didn't go out of my way to agree just how bad it was.

I waited for Snape to leave the staff table at dinner before I headed to the dungeons. I didn't want to hang around outside his classroom when there were Slytherins about.

The dungeons were cold and I was shivering as I knocked on the classroom door.

"Enter," came Snape's waspy voice.

I opened the door and stepped inside. Snape was sitting at his desk, marking homework. He looked up briefly as I entered and then went on marking.

"I've left the instructions and ingredients for the potion on your desk. Follow them carefully or you will have to start over."

"Yes, sir," I said, moving to sit down at my desk in the middle of the room.

And so it was that an hour and a half went by in near silence, the only sounds being the scratching of Snape's quill and the bubbling of the potion in my cauldron. I didn't look at Snape once. I was so intent on getting my potion right so I wouldn't have to stay all night.

As I was finishing, Snape stacked the essays into groups on his desk and came over to stand by my cauldron. He didn't look at me, but peered instead at the potion. I waited impatiently, praying that there weren't any faults. Finally, he nodded and told me to leave a bottle of it on his desk and clean up. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me. Oh God, I was going to have to go through this process every night. There was some stress I could do without.

Snape returned to his desk as I bottled the potion and cleaned up. When I finished, I returned to my desk to pick up my textbook so I could leave. Snape had other ideas.

"Sit down, Miss Kemp."

I sat down, feeling like I was in an interview for a job. Snape sat with his fingers interlaced on his desk, fixing me with a hard look.

"Did any problems arise today?" he asked in a voice void of care or concern.

"No, sir."

"Did Dolores Umbridge ask you any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Did you tell your friends you had been staying with Matilda?"

"Yes, sir." This was certainly a _boring_ interview…yes sir, no sir blah blah blah

"Did they question that at all?"

"No, sir."

Snape dark eyes were fixed determinedly on my own (nearly as dark) eyes.

"Very well, you may go." I got up to leave.

There was a knock on the door.

"Enter," said Snape, getting to his feet.

Dumbledore came in looking exceptionally grave.

"Ah good, you're both here," he said, seating himself on one of the stools. "I think you should both sit down. This matter concerns you both."

"Headmaster," said Snape, as we sat down again, his eyes flitting between Dumbledore and me. "If this is in regards to your meeting today, I would prefer to discuss this without Miss Kemp present."

"Actually, Severus, I think it best that you are both here." Dumbledore scratched his forehead. He looked tired. He turned to me. "Armilla, I attended a meeting at the Ministry today to discuss your guardianship. What I thought would be a simple discussion and agreement in regards to custody of you turned out to be quite an affair."

I said nothing. I couldn't think of any reason that would get in the way of the issue being handled easily and smoothly.

Snape rested his elbows on his desk. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

Dumbledore sighed. "Well, with my reputation at the moment, not all members of the Family Services group were happy to see me. I told them about this recent discovery, leaving out certain points as to the whereabouts of the ring, and I must say they were most interested in the fact that Armilla is really a Snape. When I told them of my intention to arrange a shared custody of Armilla, they halted the meeting right there and postponed it until a few hours later so they could discuss the matter in private. It seemed to me that they were intent on overruling me, though Merle had left the guardianship decision up to me."

"Why would there have been a problem?" I asked quietly.

Dumbledore looked at me sadly. "Because, as I found out in the afternoon meeting, the group didn't think I was acting in _everyone's_ best interests. They did not want you to be placed with another new family when you already have family."

Snape gave a sudden movement, his hands clenching into fists. He looked exceedingly angry. Well _fine_, if he was so _against_ being my guardian then _I_ didn't want to have anything to do with _him_ either. But according to what Snape said next, I concluded that I had missed the point.

"Tell me they _didn't_," he said fiercely. "Surely they must know that leaving her with family that is…_unsuitable_…is not the best course of action?"

Dumbledore gave a bitter laugh. "Oh, they told me several times that they were indeed acting in Armilla's best interests. They told me it was not my place to _hide_ Armilla."

"Hide?" I said, more to myself than to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked at me gravely. "Nothing is definite yet, Armilla," he said.

Snape stood up quickly. "Headmaster-" he said urgently. Dumbledore waved a hand.

"She must know Severus. It is not fair to keep her in the dark about such a matter."

Dumbledore turned to me again. "Like I said, nothing is definite, but you should know that your father has been told about you."

I held my breath. My Father, the Death Eater. There was that lump in my stomach again…

Snape began pacing behind his desk.

Dumbledore continued. "You should know that your father has made similar contributions to the Ministry like Lucius Malfoy. They are both held in high esteem at the Ministry. Members of the Order know better, of course."

I became acutely aware of my hands, which were shaking in my lap under the desk.

Snape continued pacing, not looking at either of us.

"Armilla," said Dumbledore. I finally met his gaze, dreading what was coming. "The group is seriously considering giving custody of you to your father."


	20. Sacrifices

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 19

Snape stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Dumbledore with a hard expression. Dumbledore continued to look at me, waiting for some sort of reaction.

I looked back at him with as much calm as I could muster, which was not a great deal but enough to be respectable.

"Don't I have a say in any of this?" I said quietly, willing my voice not to get shaky. "Why do the people who know the least about all this get to decide what happens?"

"Because they have that happy power," Snape snapped. He pulled his chair out roughly and sat down at his desk again.

"Severus," said Dumbledore, a hint of warning in his voice. He turned to me again. "I cannot overrule the ministry, Armilla. I know you are aware of the Order and my current reputation with the ministry, but these people think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with our world. If your brother and I were to come forth and claim your father is a Death Eater and certainly not suitable there would be serious consequences. Aurelius Snape has a terrible amount of influence at the ministry…he can cause all sorts of notions to be passed if he feels like it.'

Dumbledore sighed. 'I'm afraid I can't keep you from him, Armilla. We have to be very careful. Anything we claim could threaten the positions of Order members, especially Severus' position as your father would think Severus is working to keep you from him. He already doubts Severus' position."

"Headmaster," Snape interrupted, looking extremely agitated. "I do not think Miss Kemp needs to know all this."

What? I _don't_ need to know all this? So if Dumbledore put up a fight to keep me from my father he would probably lose anyway? My father could have anything he wanted? If Snape put up a fight it would threaten his position with the Order and consequently his life? I suddenly found myself wishing Merle was alive again and I didn't know who I really was. I never dreamed that something like this would happen if I found out who I was. But then, I never dreamed I would be a _Snape_.

So it looked like my father would have to have custody of me for everyone's sakes. The issue of my guardianship seemed to involve whether Light would conquer the Dark. As long as I went to my father, the Order could run smoothly and without turmoil. I shouldn't really think about myself then. How could I make a fuss and refuse? I would have to bear it. I didn't want to be responsible for Dumbledore or Snape ending up without jobs or in worse positions.

"She needs to realise what sort of position we are in, Severus," said Dumbledore.

I looked at him. "I do realise the position," I said, trying not to sound bitter. "There's nothing we can do."

Dumbledore was tracing his mouth with his index finger. He looked thoughtful. "Well," he said. "I think I can use my power as your current guardian to request that you attend Hogwarts for the rest of your schooling. That is, if you brother wishes you to remain here?" He raised an eyebrow at Snape.

Snape nodded slightly. "Of course," he said.

"As I understand it, you will be seventeen before you start your final year and so you will not have to remain with your father."

I nodded. It wasn't as if I would have to spend a lifetime with the man. It was really only the summer holidays until I turned seventeen.

"Also," Dumbledore continued, "I am going to try my best to make sure Severus is granted some responsibilities." He looked at Snape. "You don't have a bad rapport with the ministry. I dearly hope to secure a joint custody, claiming that Armilla would be more comfortable with that."

Comfortable with Snape? Oh sure, he's simply a _dear_.

"I will put my case forward," said Dumbledore, "that you have requested joint custody of Armilla at the very least, and that Armilla herself wants this as of course, she knows you better. I hope I can do this without too much trouble. Do both of you approve of that?" He looked directly at me.

I didn't answer at first. Of course, I was not going to be comfortable with the whole thing. But given the choice, I would rather stay with Severus Snape than Aurelius Snape. But I knew that Snape didn't want me at all. I hated knowing that I was a sudden inconvenience that had appeared in his life.

"Yes," I said uneasily.

Dumbledore's eyes bored into mine. "You're not sure about Severus agreeing to be responsible for you. Do you feel you have become a burden to him?"

Ah well, there's the proof the man could read minds.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"And how do you feel about all this, Severus?"

Snape leaned back slightly in his chair. He glanced at me briefly and then directed his attention to Dumbledore.

"I suppose you cannot control what life deals you," he said. "The position we are now all in calls for sacrifices on all our parts. I did not think the role of parent was suited to me, but I do _not_ want my father to have complete responsibility over a fifteen-year-old child. If taking on a certain amount of responsibility myself means that I can deprive my father of it, then I approve of the plan."

It seemed to me that Snape only wanted shared custody so he could get revenge on his father. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a family war – _my_ family's war, actually. Snape didn't really speak to his father, except at Death Eater gatherings. He would surely have to renew that contact if they were both going to have guardianship. That is, if the ministry approved it.

Dumbledore got to his feet. "I have another meeting with them tomorrow and I will propose this plan. Until then, say nothing of what we have discussed to anyone. Though I daresay, now that the ministry and your father know, it will become common knowledge before long."

That meant all the students. My friends would know. My teachers (those who didn't know already) would know. And the House of Slytherin would know that I was the daughter of Aurelius Snape, the only Slytherin possibly more powerful than Lucius Malfoy.

Snape must have been thinking along the same lines, for his face had contorted into a scowl. Everyone would know that the evil Potions Master had a fifteen-year-old sister in Ravenclaw. Oh the shame!

"I trust that Armilla will be down here again tomorrow evening?" said Dumbledore, standing in the doorway of Snape's office.

Snape had stood up too. "Yes, she will be. We will be here after dinner."

"Good, I will come down and see you both. Goodnight." Dumbledore left, closing the door softly behind him.

I got up to leave, seeing as I'd already been dismissed when Dumbledore had come in. I felt sick, really sick. I hadn't even met my father and I already was cringing at the thought of spending time with him. The fact that he knew I existed made me shiver.

I must have looked troubled as I made my way to the door because Snape called me back.

"Miss Kemp," he looked uncertain. "I suppose I'll have to begin calling you by your Christian name if we are to appear convincing to the ministry."

I nodded slightly.

"We cannot pretend that there will not be hard times ahead. My father…_our_ father is a very powerful wizard, both in magical power and influence. To live with him will require a significant amount of strength on your part."

I nodded again. If I opened my mouth, I might cry.

Snape looked like he was having a hard time himself – having to say things through the role of my brother rather than my teacher.

"No matter what happens, the Order will not leave you out in the cold…I will not leave you out in the cold. I do acknowledge that you are my sister, but that is something I have still to get used to."

I nodded yet again. I wanted to say something, but I just didn't know what.

Snape nodded. "You may go."


	21. What's in a name?

Chapter 20

I didn't really remember how exactly I made my way from the dungeons to my dormitory. My head was spinning with Snape, Dumbledore, my father, Merle, my mother and my friends.

_My friends_. How were they going to react to this? I tried to imagine saying to Lisa, "Oh, by the way, did I mention Professor Snape is actually my brother? Yep, sure is. We're both so _thrilled_ about it too."

Lisa and Terry were both lovely people – I really couldn't have asked for better friends. But I didn't want to convince myself that they would be understanding and supportive…in case they weren't. I wouldn't be able to read their thoughts. I was not skilled at Occlumency and Legilimency (I knew a little bit about it – Merle was an excellent Occlumens).

I couldn't be sure that in their eyes they would see only _Snape's_ sister. I mean, if Lisa told me she was Snape's sister, I would still support her and be a friend, but it would be so weird thinking she had the same blood running through her veins as the Potions Master, the man who enjoyed making his students suffer.

Then there was the rest of the school. The Hufflepuffs would fear me, the Gryffindors would loathe me and the Slytherins – well, I had no idea how the Slytherins would react – but I would rather have no attention from them at all.

The whole situation was really freaking me out. At first, I didn't even notice when Lisa and Terry called out to me as I passed them in the common room. I turned around and went to sit with them though. They were doing homework. I sat and watched them, too exhausted to do anything.

"Man, this is hard," Terry said irritably, throwing his quill down. "It's not worth the effort. Snape never likes anything I hand in."

"You never get bad marks though," Lisa pointed out, looking up from her half-finished Potions essay.

"No, but he always takes the opportunity to rant on about something. _Your writing is too messy, Boot, Your writing is too small, Boot, this was an exceptionally boring piece of work,_ _Boot_…I hate the git." Terry scowled down at his essay.

"He just has high standards," said Lisa, picking up a textbook to look for a particular ingredient.

Terry snorted. "High standards? Ha! He knows what he's going to say before we even hand our homework in. I'd hate to be Harry Potter. Imagine what sort of comments _he_ receives on returned homework."

"I'd be in counselling," Lisa laughed. "Poor Harry. He has a nasty temper though. He's attacked Umbridge about the return of You-Know-Who…are you okay, Mill?" Lisa gazed over the top of her book at me. "You're very quiet."

I gave a small smile. "I'm just tired," I said. "I think I'll go to bed. Night." I got up and left as they said their goodnights.

I laid awake again for hours that night. I wondered how soon I was going to meet my father. I wondered if he was going to make me call him _Father_. I shuddered every time I thought of it.

It also felt weird to think of Snape calling me by my Christian name – I supposed he would only call me Armilla in private. Not that he had granted me permission, but the thought of calling him _Severus_ put a whole new weird feeling in my stomach.

I got up the next morning feeling groggy and out of sorts. Lisa and Terry kept glancing sideways at me and then at each other. I hated that, but I _was_ keeping them in the dark about something. Generally we always told each other everything.

I had Potions with the Hufflepuffs in the last two periods. This was usually a stressful time for both houses because the Hufflepuffs would make mistakes from nervousness and then the Ravenclaws would be on edge after Snape lectured the Hufflepuffs on their increasing stupidity and why he wouldn't allow it in his class.

Snape didn't pay me much notice at all and for that I was grateful. When I produced a perfect potion, he just nodded slightly as he passed and moved on without comment. The last ten minutes flew by when a Hufflepuff girl dropped way too much gillyweed into her cauldron and it spilled out all over the floor. We all stood on our stools (for fear we would sprout something unsightly if we came into contact with the potion) as Snape banished it. Utterly furious, he gave the "idiot girl" detention and deducted 20 points from Hufflepuff.

After dinner that night I made my way down to the dungeons again. I didn't like having to brew potions alone. It was kind of lonely without Lisa's chatter and Terry's sarcastic remarks. But I had to know I could properly brew the potions I had missed in class in case they came up in the OWLs. Having Snape as my brother made me all the more determined to receive a good mark in Potions.

The night went by in pretty much the same way as the night before had. I sat and brewed my potion in silence and Snape worked at his desk, rarely glancing up at me.

I was just bottling my potion when there was a knock at the door.

Snape waved his hand and the door flew open. Dumbledore entered looking as grave as the night before.

"Good evening, Severus, Armilla," he said, as he settled on a stool near my desk.

"Headmaster." Snape nodded, looking pale. "You met with the Family Services department today?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I did. It seems everything has been finalised. All that is needed is the signatures of those who will be taking care of Armilla."

"_Those_?" Snape repeated, a hint of relief spreading across his face. "So not just my father then?"

"You will be sharing custody of Armilla with your father, Severus." Dumbledore turned to me. "That was the best I could do for you, Armilla."

I nodded. I couldn't accurately describe my feelings…numb maybe. "Thankyou, sir."

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, don't thank me, child. If I had my way I wouldn't have you anywhere near your father. You are to live with him for part of the summer and your brother and I will need to prepare you for that. I will not lie; Aurelius can be a dangerous man."

_Smash!_

The bottle containing the potion I had been holding slipped from my grasp. My hands had gotten sweaty. Alarmed, I got up to clean up my mess before the potion burnt a hole through the floor or something.

"Sit down," said Snape briskly, striding forward and waving his wand to clean up the potion.

I sat down again, my heart pounding. The alarm I felt had not subsided. I knew that Aurelius Snape was not a good man, but hearing Dumbledore say I had to be prepared to live with him was too overwhelming. What would the man do?

"Severus and I will support you, Armilla. You may feel alone in this, but I assure you that you are not." Dumbledore scratched his forehead. "Severus has been granted the right to make most major decisions regarding school since he is your teacher as well. Extended weekends are also to be spent wherever Severus is. Where you spend Christmas and other extended holidays during the school year is a decision to be made by the three of you-"

"-Though it would be best if you spent as little time with him as possible," said Snape, leaning back on his desk, arms folded, watching me carefully.

I nodded at him. I would rather spend all my holidays with Snape than my father, who I hadn't even met. "When will it all be finalised?" I asked, quietly.

"Well, in two days time, I suppose," Dumbledore replied, stroking his beard. "Being Saturday, Severus will be free to go to London with me and sign the papers with Aurelius. I daresay Severus will have to take you to meet your father on Sunday."

Wonderful. In three days I would be meeting the appalling man who claimed responsibility for my wellbeing…with Snape of course.

Obviously sensing my unease, Dumbledore kept talking. "Severus _will_ be there with you the whole time, of course…er…if _that_ makes you feel a bit easier about this." He glanced at Snape, who shot a glare right back at him.

"It does", I said without thinking. Snape stared at me with his unfathomable black eyes. His expression gave nothing away.

"Um…I meant," I hastened to add, "that I would rather not be alone."

"Of course," said Dumbledore brightly, a newly found twinkle in his eye.

"Any other issues?" asked Snape, obviously wanting to move things along.

Dumbledore paused, as if weighing up his words. "Well, _yes_. There is the issue of _name_."

"_Name_?" I repeated. Uh-oh…

"Your father and the ministry wish _Snape_ to become your surname," Dumbledore explained. "Upon signing the papers on Saturday, you will become heiress to the Snape fortune and your father insists that the inheritance only go to a Snape."

I wasn't sure what made me more uncomfortable – becoming a Snape or knowing that I would inherit what Snape would have if he hadn't been disowned. If he cared, Snape didn't show it. He kept his gaze fixed on Dumbledore.

"I fought for you to retain 'Kemp' however," Dumbledore continued, "since Merle played such an important part in your life. I lost. Then there was the question of whether your name was Lucia or Armilla."

I opened my mouth to say 'Armilla', but Snape spoke first.

"Armilla," he said firmly. "Her name is Armilla. It cannot be changed back to Lucia now. The idea of it is ludicrous." He scowled at Dumbledore.

"That is what I said, Severus. However, a name was agreed upon by Aurelius and as long as neither of you object," Dumbledore paused to look at both of us, "your name, Armilla, will be Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape in formal terms, otherwise known as Armilla Snape."

I stared at him. Armilla _Snape_? I had never even considered the possibility that my name would be changed. I supposed _Snape_ was the surname of my blood, but I was a _Kemp_. It would be strange going by the new name at Hogwarts, being called 'Miss Snape' by my brother and other teachers. What would the other students say? What would Lisa and Terry say?

"What do you think of that Armilla?" asked Dumbledore, surveying me over his half-moon spectacles.

"It doesn't matter what I think," I said. "It is something I'll have to get used to."

"Yes," said Snape, staring at Dumbledore. "It will certainly be another thing to get used to."

"I dare say," said Dumbledore. "You approve of the name change then, Severus?"

Snape walked back around his desk looking at neither of us. "It doesn't matter," he said finally. "It is inevitable if she is to be heiress."

My heart skipped a beat. _Heiress_. I suddenly knew what it was like to be a wealthy pureblood. I didn't want to inherit my father's property and whatever else he had. I had inherited a large sum of money from the sale of Merle's house and the savings she had kept for me. I didn't want anything from my father.

Dumbledore stood up. "Very well. I have other school business to attend to. Severus, I'll arrange with you tomorrow the details of our trip to London on Saturday."

Snape nodded, walking around in front of his desk again.

Dumbledore turned to me. "I know all this information is overwhelming, Armilla. Remember that I am here to talk to at any time, as is your brother," he shot Snape a significant look, which was replied to with an indifferent one. "I will give you permission to tell Miss Turpin and Mr Boot about this discovery. You may now need your friends to talk to as well."

I looked away. I dreaded telling my friends that in a few days I would be Armilla Snape.

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "I think they'll be supportive, Armilla."

I didn't answer. No one knew.

"Goodnight then." Dumbledore gave one last smile and swept from the room, closing the door behind him.

I remained seated and got my ingredients out again, preparing to start over my potion since I didn't have a bottle of it to hand in.

Snape came to stand beside me. I didn't say anything. I picked up a scalpel to slice some roots again, but Snape caught my hand before I sliced anything. I looked up at him in surprise.

"What are you doing?" he asked softly.

"Brewing the potion again, sir. I don't have one to hand in to you." The last thing I felt like doing was brewing another potion, but I didn't want to receive zero marks.

"Don't bother," said Snape, staring at me. "Pack up."

I continued to look at him, utterly bewildered.

"I'm a Potions Master, Armilla. I could see from my desk that your potion was fine." He let go of my hand and went back to his desk.

_Huh?_ I was shocked. If I had been anyone else, I'd had been given detention and zero marks for being careless. And it was _weird_ to hear Snape call me by my first name.

I packed up and got ready to leave, while Snape cleared up the papers on his desk. I stood by my desk, waiting to be dismissed.

Snape came to lean on his desk again. "Tomorrow, you will come here straight after dinner, but you will not be brewing potions. If I am to take you to see our father on Sunday, we will have to…have a _talk_ about him." He scowled. "I will need to start teaching you new skills to make your future time with him more…_bearable_. Are you familiar with Occlumency?"

"Yes," I answered. "Merle told me about it."

Snape nodded. "I thought she might have. Our father is _not_ a skilled Occlumens. It was actually our mother who was gifted in that area."

Oh. _That_ was certainly a surprise…

"It would be wise for you to be competent all the same. I will need to teach you more than that however," Snape went on, his black eyes never leaving mine. "I'll have to arrange sessions on weekends to teach you. Obviously you have other studies to attend to during the week, so I would hope you organise your time well."

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

He nodded. "I will see you tomorrow night, then."

"Yes, sir." I gathered up my things and headed to the door.

"Armilla?"

I turned around. "Yes, sir?"

Snape was wearing a slightly perturbed expression. "The Headmaster is correct. If you have a question or need to discuss something, I would prefer it if you didn't keep it to yourself. Things become bigger in the mind if they are not put out in the open." He was watching me carefully.

I nodded.

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight, sir."


	22. That's what Friends are for

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 21

I went straight to bed that night without talking to anyone. I pretended not to see Lisa and Terry in the corner of the common room as I passed through on the way to my dormitory. I was overtired, but I knew I wouldn't sleep. I had loads of neglected homework and so I drew the curtains around my bed and worked by candlelight.

It was 12:30 am when I finished my Transfiguration essay. Pushing all my work to the foot of the bed I laid down on top of the sheets, staring at the canopy above me, but not really seeing it. Again, thoughts were crashing into each other in my mind. I kept trying to convince myself that it was pointless to let fear for my father build up inside me because that would make it worse. But then I kept thinking of the concerned faces of Dumbledore and Snape and I got that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I wanted Merle back. I was missing her so much it was making me feel sick. When I had problems, she always had a way of making things better. We always shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other, things I wouldn't even share with my friends. Like Snape said, keeping things inside and bottling them up only made them seem bigger. But I couldn't imagine going to Snape and confiding in him all my fears and worries over a cup of cocoa in the middle of the night. The thought of that happening was _laughable_. Merle had been my _mum_, though I had never used that name for her. My real mother's spirit was currently residing in a magical ring in Dumbledore's office and I knew Dumbledore wanted to have everything finalised before I went to her again.

I had never been the weepy sort of person to lay awake feeling sorry for myself. But with everything as it was at the moment, I found it extremely hard to drift off. Sleepless nights seemed to be common with me now and I couldn't ask for a sleeping potion from Madam Pomfrey because Umbridge would have to know about it. If I went to Snape for a sleeping potion he would demand to know what was going on in my head that was preventing me from sleep. And so the hours slowly drifted by, and by the time 7:00 am came I had only gotten about three hours restless sleep.

Though feeling groggy again, I got up in a very determined mood. The sooner things were done the better. I told Lisa and Terry at breakfast time to keep their lunch hour free so we could go for a walk through the grounds. They both looked surprised, but didn't ask questions. I believed they thought I had been quiet because I was still grieving for Merle.

All the way through double Charms, Transfiguration and Defence against the Dark Arts I kept rehearsing the conversation I would have with my friends in my head. Terry would make a joke, and then I would laugh and say "Hey, speaking of _funny_, would you believe Snape is my brother? Ha!" or I could say "Behold, fair friends! I will now be the most feared student at Hogwarts, for I am sister of Snape." Erm…_no_…that wouldn't do at all.

When lunch finally came, the three of us dropped off our books in our dorms, got some sandwiches from the Great Hall and went outside.

At first, Lisa and I listened as Terry recounted the story of Harry Potter's latest run-in with Umbridge. Then we laughed as the Giant Squid attempted to scoff bits of a sandwich that Lisa threw to it. We walked along for a while finishing our lunch, occasionally making remarks about the lessons we just had and stupid things other students had said, or something about the professor. Finally we settled under a tree by the lake and Lisa spoke first.

"Armilla," she said, staring at me fixedly. "You know you can talk to Terry and I about anything you know."

"_Anything_," said Terry.

"I know," I said, looking at each of them.

"We understand that you've been through an awful lot in the past few weeks and it will be awhile before things…get better." Lisa looked uncomfortable.

"What we're trying to say," said Terry, smiling, "is that at any moment of the day, we're here for you whether you want us or not."

I laughed. "Well, that _is_ encouraging."

"You've been really quiet since you've come back and we put that down to Merle," Lisa continued. "Do you want to talk?"

I regarded them both. Lisa looked earnest, leaning forward slightly to look at me. Terry was sprawled on the grass, but was still gazing at me seriously.

"I _do_ want to talk," I said.

Both looked relieved straightaway and Lisa leaned forward further.

"Not about Merle though. I mean, she is still on my mind constantly, but there is something else that has been occupying most of my thoughts for the past few days."

"What is it?" asked Terry, sitting up.

"Well…I wasn't staying with Matilda while I was away. I was in another place that I can't tell you about because Dumbledore has forbidden me to."

I told them about the events after Merle's death with Shar and the attack and Snape finding me.

"Oh!" said Lisa, looking stricken, "of all the people to find you it had to be _Snape_. Oh Mill, you _poor_ thing!"

"I hope that Shar guy was dealt with though," said Terry anxiously, "and you're alright now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am." I said distractedly. "Shar was dealt with, but that isn't what I was leading to. That's only a small part of what I have to tell you."

Lisa and Terry and Lisa exchanged worried looks.

"In the place where I was, I found this magic ring that had the spirit of a dead woman in it, Hazel Merrigan."

"Never heard of her," said Terry.

"Neither had I," I said. "But as I found out, Merrigan is a pureblood wizarding name."

I told them the story Mother had told me.

"Interesting," said Terry, lightly. "Her circumstances kind of connect to yours when you were a baby."

"Exactly," I said, giving him a significant look.

Terry and Lisa's eyes widened.

"You…you found your _mother_?" Lisa whispered.

I nodded. Lisa moved forward and pulled me into a hug.

"But she's a spirit," said Terry, softly.

I let go of Lisa, nodding. "Yep, she's dead."

"Oh Mill," said Lisa, taking my hand. Terry took my other hand.

"Does Dumbledore know? I mean, were you able to prove you were mother and daughter?"

I gave a small bitter laugh. "Oh yes, we proved it eventually. As it turned out, only a blood relative could open up the locket on my bracelet with a simple _Alohomora_ spell. When opened, all the names of the women in my family who have worn the bracelet appear and my name was on the list, as well as Hazel Merrigan's." I paused.

"But that means," said Terry slowly, "for you to know that, a blood relative must have opened it for you. So you do have a relative who is alive."

"I do," I said.

"Well? Who is it? How did you find him or her?" said Terry, earnestly.

"I think my mother would have told me, but Snape caught me at that point."

"_Snape_? God, you do seem to have bad luck being caught by him all the time," said Lisa, gruffly.

"Did he confiscate the ring?" asked Terry, looking grim. "Or did he give a cheery hello to your mother?"

"The latter," I said. "But I wouldn't call it a cheery hello. It was a more surprised _hello Mother_". I waited for the ball to drop.

Lisa started coughing and Terry stared at the air in front of him.

Finally, Terry spoke. "I think I misheard. I thought you said that _Snape_ said hello to _his_ mother."

"That is correct." I said, staring at him.

"But," Lisa piped up, having got over her coughing fit, "I thought you said she was _your_ mother."

"Also correct," I said.

Both gaped at me. "Snape's my brother," I said simply.

"No," they said in unison.

"Yes," I said, "and we proved it too. He opened my bracelet and my real name appeared on the list."

"Your _real_ name?" Lisa repeated, "meaning _Snape_?"

"Yeah. Lucia Snape."

"Whoa!" Terry jumped up. "This is _huge_. This is…Mill, I can still call you Armilla right?"

"Yes, well that _is_ my name," I said defensively.

"Snape? _Snape_?" Terry repeated, looking positively appalled at the thought.

"You're Snape's _sister_…" muttered Lisa, more to herself than anyone else.

"The Head of Slytherin's sister…Geezes, Armilla!" exclaimed Terry, turning around to face me. "I mean, man, you're _Professor Snape's _sister."

"How did Snape take all this?" asked Lisa softly.

"Well, he was…_shocked_ to put it lightly, as was I though."

"So is he going to be your guardian or something?" asked Terry, looking anxious. "That's a creepy thought."

Lisa looked at me silently, waiting for me to speak.

"Well, Dumbledore got involved and at first it was agreed upon that I would live with another family, but Snape would still have some responsibility."

"What sort of responsibilities?" said Terry sharply, as if the idea offended him. "Ha! Responsible for making you're life hell, Mill?"

"No, of course not. Actually I think Snape will be trying to stop my life from being hell."

"How is that possible?" asked Lisa, looking sceptical.

"You mean he's promised not to give you a T in Potions so he doesn't look bad?" said Terry sarcastically, punching the air.

"No," I said heatedly. "He will be helping me survive living with my father."

They both froze.

Terry opened his mouth and then closed it again, apparently at a loss for words. Lisa's eyes had widened.

"Your father?" she said. "I didn't even think that he might be still alive."

"I certainly didn't," I muttered. "But Dumbledore's been attending meetings at the ministry to fight for a joint custody between Snape and my father so that I wouldn't have to suffer him all the time. From what Dumbledore and Snape say, he isn't the nicest man…to put it lightly."

"Oh that's terrible!" exclaimed Lisa, taking my hand again. "Of course you'll need Snape then. He might not be that supportive of you though…but we're here for that, aren't we Terry?"

"Sure," Terry replied. "Your Snape's sister, Mill. You'll need all the help you can get."

I punched him lightly. I didn't really feel in the position to defend Snape too much – I didn't know him that well either. But I certainly didn't run him down to my friends.

"I think I will need your support over the next few months," I said nervously, playing with the grass in front of me. "Everything will be finalised on Saturday and Snape's taking me to meet my father on Sunday."

Terry groaned. "Oh Mill," he said. "I'll never complain again…"

"Oh yeah, and as of Saturday, my name will be Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape," I added with a resigned smile.

Lisa groaned, looking positively appalled.

"No, not the git's name too!" Terry slapped his forehead dramatically.

"Terry!"

"What? Do think it has a good ring to it, Lisa?"

"I dunno. Armilla Snape. Terry, our best friend is a _Snape_!"

"Yeah, I am," I laughed, pushing them away. "And if you two don't watch it I'll use my Snape name to make your lives hell!"

Lisa stuck her tongue out and Terry gave a deep bow saying "Your Royal Snapeness."

We spent the rest of the hour laughing and joking about school again. The subject of Snape kept finding its way back in, but I felt so relieved at my friends support and acceptance. I smiled all afternoon, and it was a real smile. It was a bit of happiness that I hadn't felt in a long time. I kept smiling all the way to the dungeons that night, only faltering when the subject of Snape's talk came into my mind.


	23. Great Expectations

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 22

As I knocked on Snape's door, butterflies found their way into my stomach. The smile that had been on my face had vanished as quickly as it had come. I felt so uncomfortable at thought of spending the night in Snape's classroom discussing family issues. I would rather have made a potion sitting in silence like I had been doing the previous nights.

I supposed the fact that Snape and I would be discussing our father really hit me over the head with the truth. I mean, I knew that Snape was my brother and everything but…I guessed the time I would spend in the dungeon that evening would be spent as Snape's sister, not Snape's student. Tonight he was in the role of brother. I thought that was what brought the butterflies into my stomach. I knew what Snape was like as a teacher – a total git. But I didn't know what he would be like as my brother. He was one of my guardians as well. Would he try and exercise all this power over me and forbid me to talk to Gryffindors, or would he rarely talk to me at all?

Thinking about other girls who had older brothers didn't make me feel any better. Ginny Weasley had loads of brothers who could drive her crazy at times, but they loved each other all the same. Lisa had an older brother, Michael, and she rarely saw him because he lived in New Zealand with his wife. All families were different and Snape and I were certainly an unusual one.

My stomach muscles tightened when I heard Snape say "Enter" in a low voice.

I slipped quietly into the room and stood by the door, having no idea what else to do. God, I was nervous.

Snape must have been too. He had glanced up at me briefly from his desk when I had entered, and had then busied himself stacking the parchments he'd been marking. He took rather longer than necessary.

Finally he swept towards me, his billowing robes making him seem even more intimidating than usual.

"We'll talk in my office," he said. "Come."

I followed him out of the classroom and walked beside him on the way to his office. I saw Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson coming the other way. Malfoy and Pansy smirked at me when they saw us coming.

"What have you done, Kemp?" Malfoy whispered as we passed.

I ignored him, staring straight ahead of me instead.

"Must have been caught snogging Boot," Pansy giggled, not as quietly as she may have intended. "She's not pretty enough to get anyone else."

The stuck-up poodle. Snape had slowed his pace next to me, clearly having overheard Pansy's words.

"I don't know," said Malfoy, "I think she's pretty attra-"

Snape whirled around, catching Malfoy off guard.

"Back to your common room!" he snapped. "Now!"

At first the four of them didn't move. They all looked so taken aback that I supposed Snape generally never yelled at them.

"Did you hear me?" said Snape in a low, biting voice. "Move!"

They didn't need to be told again. Within a few seconds they were out of sight. Snape began walking again and I trotted along beside him feeling utterly sickened.

Malfoy thought I was attractive? Yuck. I didn't want Malfoy making any observations about my appearance. I wondered if people would start saying that Snape and I looked alike once they found out. I thought about this as we walked along in silence. We were certainly not the same height – I only just came past Snape's shoulder. My hair, which hung halfway down my back, was very dark, but not as dark as Snape's. The same went for our eyes – mine weren't dark enough to do the 'endless tunnel' look that Snape's could. As far as facial features went I couldn't see a strong resemblance. Thank God I didn't have his nose. You could say we shared the same mouth and had a similar eye shape but that was about it.

I hoped Pansy wouldn't start a rumour about Terry and I. We had never snogged. I didn't feel that way about him and I was sure the feeling was mutual. That kind of rumour could put strain on a friendship. I knew Pansy would make me pay though now, because of what Malfoy had said, or had tried to say before Snape had cut him off. Pansy's picture appeared alongside the word 'jealousy' in the dictionary.

Once we were standing outside the office, Snape muttered a password and opened the door, gesturing for me to go in before him so he could shut the door after he entered. He waved his wand, making light appear in the room through torches on the walls.

I had never been in Snape's office before. There were many jars full of weird things on shelves lining the walls. His large desk was opposite the door and it was covered in stacks of parchment, quills and ink bottles, as well as a few silver ornaments with serpents on them that added a Slytherin touch to the room. It was extremely cold in the office and I thought longingly of the warmth of the Ravenclaw common room.

I shivered by the door as Snape swept towards his desk. Sitting down, he gestured for me to take the seat opposite the desk. God, this was going to be like an interview.

Snape watched as I moved forward and sat down silently. Then he picked up his wand again and pointed it at the fireplace which was to my left. Immediately a great roaring fire appeared and warmth was spreading through the room. I wasn't sure if he had done that for my sake. Maybe he was cold too.

Snape put his wand down and interlaced his fingers in front of him on the desk, watching me closely again.

"I hardly need say that what we will talk about is to remain between us," he began, his voice hard. "My being your brother and guardian may mean that at times we will have to share personal information. I will respect your privacy and I insist you respect mine."

"Of course," I said, looking him in the eye.

He gave a small nod, apparently satisfied at my promise. He looked down at his hands on the desk. I thought he must have been thinking about how to begin the conversation about our father. After a moment he looked up again.

"I spoke to our mother in Dumbledore's office this morning. I have yet to give her the details of how all this was resolved because I know she will not be satisfied with it. To know that your father is one of your guardians will give her a great deal of stress and I'm sure there is more than enough stress shared by living people in regards to this situation, you and I included."

I gave a small nod. I hated thinking that I was causing all this stress for everyone involved.

"It would have been a much easier situation if I had full custody of you or if another carefully selected family did," he went on, still watching me. "But our father is an entirely different matter. He is high up in the ministry, having an influence over many departments, though he doesn't splash his name about. I suppose you could say that he gives his orders behind the scenes. He is extremely proud, so keeping up appearances is always a priority and I guarantee he will lecture you on this. Money has never been an issue for either of our parents and so you will inherit a large sum from him." He paused.

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. "You should be inheriting it over me," I said quietly.

"But I am not," Snape replied, smoothly, "and nor do I want it. I inherited the Merrigan Estate and so I am in no need to beg for my father's money. You will inherit the Merrigan Estate upon my death, but for now both the Snape and Merrigan estates are your home. I for one will try my best to make sure your time spent at the Snape Estate is limited."

"Thank you," I said softly. I was feeling worse and worse about the prospect of spending time with Aurelius Snape.

Snape, however, shook his head. "I'm not doing this to be thanked. I may have been in doubt about being your guardian, but from experience I know our father is not fit to be a parent. He will use any means to make sure he is feared and respected and he will expect you to comply with his every command without question. Compassion is not a quality he possesses."

Wonderful. The man was a saint.

Snape leaned back in his chair, moving hair away from his face. "I have been looking at your grades from the past few years. It is good for you that you do well in Defence Against the Dark Arts. You can be sure that our father will…_test_ you."

I swallowed. "_Test_ me, sir?"

Snape leaned forward again. "He feels that the most powerful of witches and wizards should be more than competent in this area. I have no doubt he will want to teach you a great deal of skills, and I daresay you will learn from experience."

I gripped the arms of my chair. _Learn from experience?_ What the hell?

"Can't you just tell the ministry that he's abusive?" I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

Snape shook his head. "I told you the position Father holds at the ministry. It is common knowledge that our relationship is not…a _happy_ one. He tends to get what he wants, Armilla. At the moment, what he wants is his daughter."

I looked up at Snape, biting my lip.

"He has many methods of covering his tracks, child," Snape went on. "He is an intelligent man. Trust me, I would dearly love to expose him for what he is, but you are aware of my position with the Dark Lord."

I nodded. If I kicked up a huge fuss about Aurelius Snape I would be compromising Snape's position and consequently the triumph of Light over Dark.

"Like I said, I will do my best to make sure you spend little time with him. But you will need to be prepared for the time you do spend at the Snape Estate. I am going to start teaching you Occlumency, not just to use against Father but for the visitors he may have to the house."

"What visitors?" I asked quietly.

"He has a large circle of friends, many of them members of the Dark Lord's inner circle. A few of them may try and delve into your mind for information and that is where Occlumency comes in. Of course, while you are with Father you must believe that I do work for the Dark Lord and make no mention of the Order."

"Of course. What if I fail at Occlumency?" I was panicking that I would leak information to Death Eaters.

Snape pursed his lips, as if trying not to smile. "You are a Snape now, Armilla. Snapes do _not_ fail."

"Oh." Ah, so the expectations were high.

He stood up. "I will have to teach you a few more defence skills. Umbridge is doing her best to make you all backward. After this weekend I will draw up a new timetable for you for extra lessons. I will teach you both here and at home. We do not want Umbridge's interruptions."

"Yes, sir." I got up too.

Snape walked around from behind his desk. "The papers will be signed tomorrow and so your name will change, as will your life. I'm going to take you to meet your father on Sunday so meet me down here at ten o' clock."

"Yes, sir."

Snape pursed his lips again. "And…also, on Sunday, you should begin calling me by my first name in front of our Father. He will think it strange if you don't."

"Alright."

Snape nodded and moved towards the door. He placed his hand on the knob, but didn't turn it. Instead, he turned around to face me.

"Before long, all the students and staff will know about this. I would prefer it if you have as little to do with the Slytherins as possible. I believe they will find this the most interesting of all the houses, including your own. More than anything else, I would appreciate it if you limit your communication with Draco Malfoy."

"Alright," I said. "I never really communicate with Malfoy anyway."

"The Malfoys have been friends with our father for years. Both Lucius and Draco will be very interested in this revelation. Even if you don't communicate now, Draco will certainly be eager to once he finds out. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows."

"Oh," I muttered more to myself than to Snape.

Snape nodded again and opened the door.

"Always be on your guard, no matter who you're talking to. You never know what connections people have or who is eavesdropping." He looked down at me as I moved past him into the doorway.

"I will see you on Sunday."

I nodded.

"Goodnight then."

"Goodnight, sir."


	24. Exposed

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 23

I spent most of Saturday in a dreamy state. In the morning I finished off all my homework with Lisa and Terry in the library. I knew I was quiet, and Lisa and Terry didn't have to ask why. I officially became Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape today. Out of habit I still signed my name as Armilla Kemp on all my homework. I didn't really want to start using the name until the staff had acknowledged it.

By the time we stacked up our books and headed back to the common room, Terry had already suffered several playful punches from me. He had insisted on calling me "Miss Snape" all morning as practice.

'Hey Mill, with you being Snape's sister and all, does that mean he won't act like a git to Lisa and I?' Terry asked, as we went into the common room.

'Don't count on it,' I laughed. 'He's already made it clear to me that once I'm a Snape my marks aren't allowed to drop.'

'Oh, what will he do?' Lisa said, smirking, 'give you detention? Imagine that. Snape putting his own sister in detention.'

'Well, I don't think he'd call it _detention_,' I said, sitting down in a chair by the fire. 'But he wouldn't hesitate in giving me extra lessons to make sure his family name looks good.'

'You know, out of all the people who could have turned out to be Snape's long lost sibling, it's kind of a shame it had to be you,' said Terry, taking the chair next to me, while Lisa sat down opposite us.

'Why's that?'

'Well, you're such a good student. You rarely do anything wrong. You're respectable. I wouldn't say you're that fearful of Snape – I mean some students actually quiver and tremble in his presence-'

'Like you in first year?' Lisa interrupted, laughing.

'Shut up. Like I was saying…you have guts, Mill. You won't be an embarrassment to Snape. It's a shame because it would have been so much fun for us if say Crabbe or Goyle or even _Longbottom_ had turned out to be Snape's sibling. Snape would have _died_.'

I laughed. 'You're right,' I said. 'But I can beat _that_. Imagine if it had turned out to be Harry Potter!'

Lisa made a face. 'Well they both wouldn't be here, would they?'

'Why not?' Terry and I asked.

'Because they would have killed themselves, of course!'

'Of course,' I agreed.

'Well come on,' said Terry, jumping up again. 'Let's go have lunch. I'm starving.'

We left the common room again and made our way down to the Great Hall. As we approached the entrance, Malfoy and his friends came up from the dungeons.

'Hey, Kemp,' he called, grinning. 'Enjoy your detention with Snape?'

I didn't answer. I moved to pass through the doorway, but Malfoy got there before me.

'Snape seemed pretty mad at us,' he said, still grinning. 'Or was he defending you?' He folded his arms.

'Why would Snape defend me?' I asked, nonchalantly, as Malfoy's friends gathered behind him. I saw Terry clenching his fists out of the corner of my eye. Lisa had also folded her arms, glaring at Malfoy.

Malfoy put a mock puzzled expression on his face.

'Oh, I don't know,' he said. 'Perhaps it's a _loyalty_ thing, even if you are a Ravenclaw.'

I froze. He _knew_.

'Still, it's better than being a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff,' Malfoy went on. 'I don't think Snape would have liked _that_.' He smirked.

'Oy! What's the hold-up? Who's blocking the doorway?'

I turned around to see that a bunch of first and second years from all four houses had queued up behind us, evidently too scared to ask Malfoy and his friends to get out of the way. They had clearly heard the whole conversation because their eyes were darting from Malfoy to me.

The person who had spoken was a tall seventh year Gryffindor. He was moving through the crowd, looking annoyed.

'Oh, it's you, Malfoy,' he muttered as he reached us. 'Clear off and stop blocking the way in.'

Malfoy ignored him. He turned back to me. 'You know, Armilla. You're kind of related to Slytherin House now. We had better be careful how we treat our _Head's little sister_.' He smirked and sauntered off to the Slytherin table with his cronies following in his wake.

'You're what?' said the Gryffindor, looking at me in confusion.

I didn't have time to answer. Lisa had already grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hall. She let go once we had sat down. Terry sat down opposite us, staring at his watch.

'How long does it take to tell the time?' Lisa grunted, picking up a sandwich and putting it on my plate.

Terry didn't answer. He stopped looking at his watched and instead of eating, he turned around and stared at all the other students.

'What are you doing?' I asked, picking up my sandwich.

Terry turned around to face us. 'Timing how long it takes for this bit of news to spread,' he whispered. 'Watch.'

I looked across at the other tables. Sure enough, many people seemed to be engaged in quiet conversation, but their eyes were wide as if shocked about something. Before long, I had to look away because so many pairs of eyes were resting upon me. The last pair of eyes I had looked at was the bright green ones of Harry Potter. He looked completely disconcerted.

'That was about forty seconds,' said Terry, looking at his watch again. 'New record, I believe.'

'This should be interesting,' I muttered.

'Maybe we should have eaten in the common room,' said Terry, picking up three sandwiches.

'Nah,' I whispered. 'I would have to have shown my face sooner or later. It's not_ that_ bad. I could have been related to someone worse than Snape.'

'Like the Dark Lord?' said Lisa, taking a bite.

'That _is_ sick,' I said, grimacing.

'Hey, Armilla!' called Padma Patil, as she strode towards the Ravenclaw table. 'Parvati and the Gryffindors have just been asking me the strangest thing. They wanted to know if you were related to Snape! Fancy that!'

I laughed.

'Fancy that,' said Lisa.

'Yeah, I told them to pull their heads in. Ha! Related to Snape…bit of a sick rumour don't you think?' Padma had sat down and was staring at me. I noticed all the other Ravenclaws within hearing distance had paused in mid conversation and had turned their heads slightly.

'Ah…' I began…how could I find the best way to say that yes, Snape was indeed my brother?

Padma's smile had vanished. 'It's true?' she whispered, her eyes as wide as the other students who were still looking at me.

I gave a small nod.

The other Ravenclaws who had pretended not to be listening suddenly gave either gasps or exclaimed 'Oh my God!'

Padma had covered her mouth with her hand. Anthony Goldstein, who was sitting opposite her, looked at me gravely. 'How long have you known?' he asked.

'A little while,' I replied.

Padma seemed to recover from her shock. She opened her mouth to speak but I spoke before she could.

'Look, it's enough that I've told you,' I said. 'But I'm not going to be giving away all my private business. Rumours will cover that anyway and I'm sure they'll be creative.'

A large number of Ravenclaws were still watching me, some with their mouths hanging open.

'Well, that's just lovely,' said Luna Lovegood, dreamily.

'Yes, it _is_ lovely,' Lisa piped up, an expression of determination covering her face. She spoke a bit louder. 'And we're _all_ here for Armilla, aren't we? She's still the same person after all.'

'Hear, hear,' said Terry raising his glass. 'To our Armilla!'

A few people laughed. All the Ravenclaws nearby raised their glasses too. A few students down the table still looked too shocked to say or do anything.

The fast beating of my heart seemed to slow down to its normal rate again as the Ravenclaws around me smiled as they drank. As I expected, they still couldn't hide their shock and confusion.

The students at the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables looked either absolutely devastated or scared stiff. They weren't looking at me as much anymore but they couldn't hide the way the news had affected them. Over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy looked thoroughly pleased with himself and Pansy looked frustrated that he wasn't paying her any attention. If the rest of the Slytherins were shocked, they were good at hiding it. Those who were looking at me had curious expressions on their faces.

The rest on lunch went on much the same, with many of the Ravenclaws up and down the table sneaking glances every now and then. I drew more attention when Lisa, Terry and I made our way out of the hall. Heads turned in our direction and we walked the length of the table.

We met Fred and George Weasley at the doorway, both of whom were leaving as well. They both bowed to me and Fred took my hand and shook it.

'I'm very sorry,' he said, as if someone had just died. I was just about to say so when George spoke.

'I'm afraid this means neither of us will ever be able to date you now,' he said grinning.

'Yep,' said Fred, letting go of my hand. 'No boy in his right mind will come near you now, no matter how much he fancies you. We all reckon Snape will _murder_ any guy who so much as _looks_ in your direction.'

'Oh, _thanks_,' I said, rolling my eyes. Terry and Lisa laughed.

We went outside for the afternoon, basking in the October sunlight. As the day drew on, the knot in my stomach tightened. This time tomorrow, I will have met my father. I kept telling myself to stay calm. I did not want to appear weak and nervous in front of my father or Snape…Severus…whatever. I would have to train myself to mask my fear.

I didn't see Snape at dinner, but when I went to bed that night I found a sealed envelope under my pillow. Opening it, a bit of parchment fell out. Picking it up, I read it.

_Armilla,_

_Everything was finalised today at the Ministry. You are now Armilla Snape, heiress to the Snape Manor and fortune._

_We are meeting Father for morning tea at Snape Manor tomorrow, so make sure you are at my office by ten o' clock. Tell no one what you are doing. I will give you further instructions in the morning as to how we will get there._

_Make sure you burn this letter._

_S.S._

Lovely. I stood up and threw the letter in the fire. None of the others had come up to bed yet, so no one would know anyway.

I got back into bed and stared at the canopy above me. _Armilla Snape_. A wave of fear threatened to plunge into my stomach again, but I mentally tried to push it away. No! I was _not _going to let myself be fearful anymore. I would mask it. But how on earth was I going to sleep tonight?

* * *

A/N The big "Armilla meets her father" chapter is coming up next and I have already started writing it. I would really appreciate it if you could review because I feel more encouraged to keep writing when I get reviews – the story is in my head anyway (I'm many chapters ahead in my mind) and I only keep writing if I know people are looking forward to reading it. So please spare a few seconds to tell me what you think! CG. 


	25. Aurelius Snape

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Kemp is my own original character.

Chapter 24

As I lay in bed, I kept mentally pushing away all thoughts that threatened to bring fear or some kind of powerful emotion with it. I would admit that it was not all that easy, but I had heard Merle once use the expression "to keep one at arm's length" and I used this as the basis of my mental weapon.

I kept imagining myself with a steel arm that could force away anything and every time an overwhelming thought slipped into my mind I forced it out again. It didn't always work, but hopefully practice would fix that. I didn't want to stand in front of my father or Snape weak-kneed and trembling out of fright. I wanted to be strong and indifferent. Whatever my father had to say, I wanted to be able to take it without being affected by it. I knew this whole thing would be much harder if I allowed myself to feel all the emotional stress that went with it. So, I was going to try my best to keep this relationship with my father at arm's length.

After finally falling asleep, I knew I dreamed all night, but I remembered nothing when I woke up. My clock said it was 8:12 am and I decided to get up and amuse myself somehow rather than lay in bed thinking. There were soft snores coming from Lisa's bed, so I tiptoed past her to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Lisa was the only one still in bed. I was glad I had allowed plenty of time to get ready because once I had dried myself off and was standing in front of my wardrobe in my dressing gown, I realised I had _no_ idea what to wear.

I heard a bed creak behind me and I turned to see Lisa sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Morning," I said, turning back to stare at my clothes.

"Morning, Mill. Ooh, today's the big day."

"Mm." I continued to stare.

Lisa put on mock snobby voice. "Oh dear, what _does_ one wear to a rendezvous to meet one's father?"

"No idea," I said. "I never even thought about it until this morning. It's just morning tea."

"Well it doesn't have to be that formal then," said Lisa, getting out of bed. She came over to look inside the wardrobe. "Well, you have plenty of clothes," she said. "This shouldn't be that hard."

Half an hour later, I was finally dressed and ready to go. After only a few changes, we had settled on a knee-length black skirt with a burgundy top under one of my black robes. I pulled some of my dark hair back and left the rest hanging loosely down my back. I tucked the necklace with the pearl Snape had given me under my top. I didn't really want my father to notice it.

Lisa took a step back and looked me up and down. "You look beautiful as always," she said, grinning. I scowled at her before breaking into a smirk.

Lisa shut her eyes.

"Don't _do_ that," she said. "You look like your brother when you frown."

"Oh, I do not," I said, rolling my eyes.

After Lisa had dressed, we met Terry in the common room and made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast. I was not hungry at all. I was trying hard again not to let my nerves surface.

"You have to eat something, Mill," said Lisa.

"Yeah," Terry agreed. "Imagine your father saying "pleased to meet you" and your _stomach_ grumbled in reply!"

The thought petrified me so much I nearly knocked over the milk jug as I grabbed a piece of toast.

Terry smirked. "I knew _that_ would get you eating."

Like yesterday, people still couldn't disguise their curiosity. Ravenclaws up and down the table kept sneaking peaks and whispering to their friends, while certain Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs just stared. At one point I saw Hermione Granger elbow Ron Weasley hard in the arm before he looked away to tell her off instead. Next to Ron, Harry Potter seemed to have realised he was staring too because when our eyes met he went slightly pink and quickly looked down at his plate instead.

Snape wasn't at the staff table and I supposed he must have eaten breakfast earlier. I did catch Dumbledore's eyes though and he winked at me, smiling slightly. Further along, Professor Umbridge was looking extremely put out about something and I hoped that whatever it was, it was giving her some kind of mental or physical pain.

At five to ten, I said goodbye to my friends at the top of the stairs that led down to the dungeons. Terry squeezed my arm and Lisa squeezed my hand, not wanting to make a scene in front of passing students. They both whispered a "good luck" and I turned to go down the stairs.

With every step towards Snape's, no _Severus'_ office, my stomach threatened to start its somersault act, but I mentally stretched out the steel arm and did my best to push it away. It was a little weaker after that, but still there.

Snape opened the door before I had a chance to knock, wearing his usual black robes under a travelling cloak. He nodded at me as he turned to lock his office door.

"_Hem, hem._"

Snape froze, his lips pursed. We both turned around to see Dolores Umbridge standing in front of us in the deserted corridor. She was wearing her fluffy pink cardigan and Alice band in her hair. She looked ridiculous as she fixed her face with a simpering smile. She ignored me altogether and addressed Snape.

"I have recently discovered Professor Snape, having been informed by the Minister for Magic himself, that this young lady here is your sister." Umbridge waved her hand towards me.

"Yes, she is," Snape replied, folding his arms, staring straight at her.

Umbridge looked a bit put out for a second, obviously wanting more details. She recovered herself quickly.

"Am I to understand, Professor Snape, that you're now guardian of this child?" She waved her arm at me again. I pursed my own lips. _This child?_

"Yes," said Snape again.

"Right," said Umbridge, sweetly. "I hope having a child to look after will not interfere with your teaching, Professor."

"Why would it?" said Snape, glancing briefly at me. "I hardly expect that Armilla will need my attention at every minute of the day."

Umbridge grinned widely, making her look quite startling. "Of course not," she said. "I merely meant that I hope your family life will not…_interfere_ with your teaching."

Snape sneered. "I have no intention of letting _anything_ interfere with my teaching. My private family life will remain just that – _private_."

Umbridge's smiled faltered. I guessed she got the gist that Snape wasn't about to share any information with her. She drew herself up to her full height, which was still shorter than me, and spoke in a professional tone.

"I understand that you are taking this student off the Hogwarts grounds today."

"Yes," Snape replied, a bite of impatience in his voice.

"Then I hope you have followed the regular procedure that parents or guardians take when taking a student out of school for the day and have signed the student out?"

"Of course," said Snape, sneering slightly. "Professor, you must excuse us, we will be very late if we do not leave at once." He took my wrist to make me move in front of him so we could move past Umbridge in the corridor.

Umbridge looked put out again, but neither of us stopped to wait for an answer. I walked in front of Snape until we had climbed the stairs up to the Entrance Hall. A few students standing around watched us curiously and I followed Snape to the front door. However, a few snide glances from Snape stopped the students staring and sent them on their way.

Once outside, I walked next to Snape as we went down the front steps. I decided he would tell me where we were going when he was ready. You never knew who might be listening.

I saw one of the school carriages up ahead and stopped short when I saw a strange looking creature attached to it. It was grey and bony and…hideous. I wondered where the thing had come from – the school carriages always seemed to pull themselves along.

Having realised I had stopped, Snape turned around a few paces in front of me, looking impatient.

"Come," he said. "We will be late and our father does _not_ look kindly on _tardiness_."

I took a few steps, still staring at the weird creatures. Snape seemed to realise what was bothering me as he looked from me to the creatures.

"Ah," he said. "I had forgotten you would be able to see those now."

I started to walk next to him again, still watching the strange things. "Why can I see them now?"

"Because you have seen death," he replied, his voice low. "They are called Thestrals and they are only visible to people who have actually _seen _death. Your mother wouldn't have counted because you didn't actually _see_ her die."

"Oh," I replied, feeling a little unnerved.

When we reached the carriage Snape waved his hand and the door flew open. He gestured for me to get in first and I climbed in, feeling weird about the creatures that would be moving us. Snape climbed in after me.

"Be grateful you're not physically _riding_ the beast," he said thoughtfully, as if thinking of another memory. "That's worse."

I smiled slightly. It wasn't _that_ bad.

As the carriage started to move, I glanced out the window back at Hogwarts, wishing I was inside with Lisa and Terry.

"Dolores Umbridge is obviously on the lookout for information," said Snape, also looking through the window at Hogwarts. "We shall have to be very careful."

"I think all the students know by now," I said, looking back at him.

Snape didn't seem surprised. "And how did they find out?"

"Malfoy decided to let it slip in the doorway of the Great Hall yesterday, where students from all the houses could hear him. By the end of lunch, I think everyone knew."

He shook his head slightly. "And how did they all react?"

"Well, not many people have really said anything to me. They all just looked shocked. It seems that most of the Ravenclaws don't care.'

Snape raised an eyebrow. "And the others?"

"The Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors can't believe it. I'm not sure what to make of the Slytherins."

Snape scoffed. "You're not _meant_ to understand the Slytherins. That's _why_ they're Slytherins."

I said nothing.

Snape changed the subject. "We're going to the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta is going to let us floo using her fireplace in her backroom. Dumbledore arranged it with her. At that point, Umbridge didn't know and we do know that she is watching the fireplaces. We don't want her keeping track of our movements. Hopefully we will be able to arrange a legal portkey next time."

I nodded.

"I can guarantee you Father will be watching you very closely today," he went on. "It is best if you try and remain as indifferent as possible to every comment."

"That's what I planned," I said quietly, more to myself.

Snape looked sideways at me. "You've been preparing for this, have you?"

I gave a small shrug. "Not really."

He turned to face me. "It will be fine as long as you show him the proper respect and decorum that he expects. Just remember that you are to call me by my first name in front of him."

"Yes, sir." I looked down at my hands. _Steel arm. Steel arm…push emotion away…_

I became aware that Snape was still watching me. I looked back at him, doing my best to look indifferent. Snape would probably know what I was feeling anyway – I mean, he _was_ the _other _child of Aurelius Snape.

A few minutes later the carriage had stopped outside the Three Broomsticks and we got out. I followed Snape inside and I saw Rosmerta nod her head slightly at us as she dealt with a customer. This must have indicated her permission for us to enter the room at the back at the pub because Snape made directly for the door.

Once we were inside, Snape strode purposefully to the fireplace and seized a handful of floo powder from a pot on a nearby table. He indicated for me to do the same.

"I'll go first," he said. "You follow directly after, alright?"

"Alright," I said, swallowing.

He nodded as he dropped the powder into the fire and said "Snape Manor!"

A second later he was gone. I gave it a few seconds before I stepped into the fire and repeated the same process. As I whizzed through many fireplaces, I kept the steel arm image in my mind, trying to control my nerves.

At last I came to a halt and I stepped out of huge, extremely fancy fireplace. Snape was a few feet away, removing the ash from his robes with a spell. Looking up at me when he finished, he pointed his wand at my robes and repeated the same spell.

"Master Severus," came a high pitched voice. "How simply _delightful_ to see you."

We both turned to see a House Elf standing on the opposite side of the room. We were in what I guessed was one of the many parlours in the house. The room was richly furnished and only a glance told me my father was very rich.

The House Elf's tone suggested that he didn't think it was _that_ delightful to see Snape at all. It seemed to have a permanent sneer on its wrinkly little face.

"Jiffy," said Snape, sneering at the creature. "Kindly announce our presence to Father, would you?"

"No need, no need," said a deep voice, deeper than Snape's. I looked up from Jiffy to see a tall man coming through the open door on the other side of the room. He looked to be in his late sixties. He had a hooked nose, much like Snape's, and long, dark grey hair that fell loosely down his back. His wrinkled face was cleanly shaven and his black eyes were cold as he looked down at the elf.

"That will be all, Jiffy," he sneered.

"Yes, sir. Jiffy is going now, sir," Jiffy squeaked, bowing so low he scraped his long nose across the rug. He scampered out of the room.

Snape put his arm on my back and pushed me forward gently as we moved to the other side where Father was standing.

His eyes were on me. Completely fixed on me as if I was a new subject of prey. _Steel arm…steel arm._

I felt my confidence grow slightly, and I raised my eyes to meet his. They were just as cold as when they had been fixed on the elf.

"Armilla," he said, holding out his hand.

Thinking he wanted me to shake it, I took it. Instead of shaking it, he pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek instead. I fought back a shudder.

Not letting go of my hand, Father looked at me. "I was delighted to find out about you," he said. "Much too late, of course. If my dear wife was alive there would be consequences to pay for hiding you from me."

I didn't say anything. What _could_ I say? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape standing close by.

"But now I know and that's the main thing," Father continued. "I wanted a new heir." He nodded at Snape, as if just realising he was even there. "I disowned Severus. An ungrateful, disloyal child if there ever was one." He glared at Snape, who stared back at him indifferently.

He looked back at me. "But you will be different. You will not have your mother here to baby you. I highly doubt that Severus will baby you, so I hope you will prove a suitable heiress to the Snape fortune. Come, brunch will be served in the breakfast room."

Snape and I followed him out the door, along a corridor that had many portraits of hooked nose men and into a lavish breakfast room. It was a brightly lit room, with a round table that could seat twelve people. The windows looked out onto a cobbled courtyard.

The table was set for three, and Snape and I waited as Father seated himself.

He looked me up and down. "You're small for a fifteen year old," he said. "Your mother's genes there, I suppose. But there is no doubt we'll fetch a high price for you."

"A …_high price_?" I asked. Oh God…

"You're the heiress to a large fortune, child, and not only are you a pureblood, you are a member of a very old wizarding family. I can guarantee you once you have been presented to wizarding society wizards will be flocking here offering money to have their sons marry you."

"Oh," I said. _What the hell?_

"Well, sit down you two," said Father. "I didn't invite you here to watch _me_ eat."

We both sat, as Father flicked his wand to make the teapots pour steaming tea into our cups.

"And to cap it all off, Severus," Father went on, "I would say she's quite attractive, wouldn't you agree?"

Snape paused, his hand outstretched towards his cup. He looked at me quickly, glaring slightly, though I supposed the glare wasn't actually intended for me.

"Of course," he replied, picking up his cup. "Though I believe a brilliant mind is more important, Father."

"Of course you do," said Father, watching his son closely. "From what you've told me, your sister possesses a promising mind." He looked over at me. "As long as she knows when to apply it and when to do as she is told."

I met his gaze. What a git.

"Tell me child, are you in acquaintance with many pureblood witches and wizards at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, I am," I replied.

"And do you find many of the young pureblood wizards promising?"

Now I was uncomfortable. I just met the man and all he wanted to know about was my love life.

"Not really," I replied.

"She's only _fifteen_, Father. I think her studies are more important than _adolescent _wizards," said Snape, sourly.

"I'm sure you do, Severus. I'm thinking of the future."

"Then why not talk about her career?" Snape pressed him.

"Because that is not important, Severus. Her role will be to marry a respectable pureblood wizard and produce an heir."

Oh dear God…What was _wrong_ with this man? I was fifteen and he was talking about me reproducing?

"Well, plenty of my friends have an interest in you Armilla. Lucius Malfoy has been asking after you. Don't roll your eyes at me, Severus."

Ah, so Draco Malfoy _was_ interested. That would put Pansy's nose out of joint.

The morning tea went on much the same with me giving small, polite answers as Father chattered away and Snape fumed silently. When Snape finally announced we had better be getting back to Hogwarts, Father actually looked a bit disappointed.

"I look forward to having you stay here, child. I could teach you all about what it is to be a Snape. Your brother is not worthy of the name."

Snape pursed his lips as he grabbed my left wrist. My Father took my right wrist as he leaned forward to kiss me again. As Father's lips hit my cheek I could practically feel Snape's fury as he squeezed my left hand.

"Goodbye, child. I hope to see you soon."

"Goodbye," I said.

I waited for Snape to say goodbye or for Father to say goodbye to him, but Father turned back to the table and Snape marched from the room, pulling me along with him. He held my hand so tightly I thought he would break it.

When we were back in the parlour, he thrust floo powder into my hand. I stepped back into the fireplace, said "The Three Broomsticks" and was soon whizzing through fireplaces once more on my way back to Hogsmeade.


	26. The Chocolate Frog Card

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 25

I quickly moved out of the way when I arrived back at the Three Broomsticks to make room for Snape. I actually moved a few metres further away than necessary because he seemed to be in a foul temper.

Snape stepped out of the flames a moment later, brushing off his robes as he swept to the door, nodding at me to follow him.

He did not slow his pace until we were outside in the cool breeze. Instead of heading back to the carriage with the waiting thestrals, he turned and headed in another direction. I scurried along after him, wondering where we were going. He made no comment, but continued to stride past shop after shop until we reached the post office.

We went inside and I noticed that it was deserted except for a young, pimply wizard behind the counter, and many owls. I followed Snape to the counter. The boy's eyes widened in terror when he saw Snape, and I suddenly recognised him as a Hufflepuff who had graduated a few years back.

"P..p..professor Snape," he stammered.

Snape barely paid him any attention.

"I have a package to pick up from Knockturn Alley," he said in a business-like tone.

The boy stared at him, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. I glanced sideways at Snape. His black eyes were unfathomable and he was sneering slightly. What had he ordered from Knockturn Alley?

"_Knockturn_ Alley?" the boy repeated, his voice wavering.

"Indeed, Farrell," Snape said smoothly, narrowing his eyes. "If you think you are _competent_ enough to retrieve it so that I may be on my way, I would be _most_ appreciative."

Farrell scampered off and Snape let out a frustrated sigh, clearly getting more irritated by the second.

Not wanting to be subject to Snape's wrath, I turned and looked back out the window, watching shoppers wander past, clutching bags that held all sorts of things.

A minute later, Farrell returned carrying a parcel wrapped in brown paper. He put it on the counter with a thud and handed Snape a quill to sign for it. Snape quickly scribbled his spiky signature and grabbed the parcel.

Farrell glanced suspiciously at me now, as if suddenly realising I was there. Snape indicated for me to lead the way out. At the door, he turned around suddenly, drawing his wand with his spare hand. He pointed at the form he had just signed and said "_Effaciate_!"

Farrell looked down at the form in confusion where the signature had been as Snape raised his wand to him and said sharply "_Obliviate_!" Immediately the boy's eyes glazed over and Snape quickly exited the shop, closing the door.

Assuming that I still was not going to receive an explanation for all this, I walked alongside Snape back to the carriage, looking at anything or anyone else besides my brother, who still appeared to be fuming.

Only when we were in the carriage again riding back to Hogwarts did Snape speak.

"I believe Umbridge will be watching us arrive back at the school," he said, unwrapping the brown package. "Therefore, I will show you these now before we can be seen."

He pulled the paper off completely to reveal two thick books. I glanced at the one on top, which read _Defence Against the Darkest Magic_ by D'Arcy Wentworth. I thought Snape would have had plenty Dark Arts books.

"I do not keep books on the Dark Arts at Hogwarts," he said, staring at the book. "Most books from which I was educated in the Dark Arts reside at our father's house. They do not belong to me. There are very few Dark Arts books at our mother's house because she disposed of a large number herself years ago."

Snape picked up the book on top to pass to me, and I looked at the second book, _A Dark_ _Arts Survival Guide_ by Glenda Wickham.

"Because she is so _concerned_ for all wizard kind," Snape said, sneering, "Umbridge banned Flourish and Blotts from supplying their usual range of Defence books, except for the set text for her classes. You might have noticed that most of the Defence section in the library has been relocated to the restricted section. She banned them in Knockturn Alley too, but wizards have ways of _concealing_ banned items."

He glanced down at the second book. "Actually," he said, "these books are quite harmless in comparison to the sort of stock sold at the shop I bought them from."

I opened my book and flipped through it. It was full of descriptions of dark curses, plants and potions and the counter curses for them, with wand movements and pictures that were a bit too gruesome for my liking.

"I want you to spend the next couple of days looking through these books," said Snape, flipping through the book he held. "I am yet to find a text on Occlumency that I find useful-" he paused and glanced sideways at me. "But no matter. I have a feeling you will prove yourself adept at Occlumency before long."

What did that mean? Had he looked into my mind somehow without me knowing?

It suddenly hit me. I had been using steel arm imagery to keep my father at arm's length, blocking my emotions at the same time. Snape must looked into my mind, only to be met with the arm that wasn't intended for him…not that I wanted Snape knowing all my emotions.

Not wanting to confirm anything, I said nothing and continued to look at the book.

However, Snape reached out and took it out of my hands, placing it back on top of the other book. He took out his wand again and muttered "_Desguisatus_", making the books shrink down into just one chocolate frog card (with a Dark Wizard catcher on it). He held it out to me.

"Keep this in your pocket at all times. To make it turn into the books again, just say _Revelate_ and it will change form."

"Alright," I said, taking the card from him.

"Now," said Snape, taking on a business like tone once again. "The writing on the back gives a description of the wizard, but if you press your index finger against the name, the details of our next meeting will appear on the card, along with any messages. There will also be a meeting location on the card. All the locations appearing on the card will be in Hogwarts, of course. You'll know if a message is there if the wizard on the front is waving at you. If he's sleeping, nothing has changed."

Sure enough, the wizard seemed to be snoring. I smiled at it. Very clever…and cunning. It hit me that Snape, the Head of Slytherin, was also the son of a Ravenclaw.

Snape leaned back, brushing his hair away from his face. He seemed a little less angry than before, but to me, he never stopped looking stern.

"And what did you think of your _dear_ father?" he said, sneering.

I decided to give an honest opinion.

"I didn't like him," I replied.

He scoffed. "No?"

"No," I said, turning to face him. "But I don't suppose whether I like him or not really matters. I'll just have to learn to live with it."

A hint of surprise flashed for a brief second on Snape's pale face. He looked directly at me and I found myself subconsciously pushing the steel arm into my mind. I didn't know why I did it.

If Snape saw it, he didn't mention it.

"I should keep well away from Draco Malfoy," I said quietly.

Snape's anger seemed to return. "I should think so," he said harshly, looking directly in front of him. "He seems to want you married off quickly." He shook his head in annoyance. "Wizarding court indeed," he said indignantly.

Merle had told me before about being presented at wizarding court. She hadn't really believed in it, but a lot of the old pureblood families still liked to have their children 'presented' to the Minister for Magic at a ball after they turned sixteen or seventeen. Obviously, Snape didn't believe in it either.

"I hope Merle didn't plan on having you presented," said Snape, still sneering at the idea.

"No," I replied. "She didn't believe in that sort of thing."

He nodded. "That's just as well," he said, his anger seeming to settle down again.

"When will I get to see my mother?" I asked suddenly. I hadn't seen her once since I had left the secret wing. Dumbledore and Snape hadn't wanted me to see her until the custody battle had been resolved.

Snape looked thoughtful for a moment, but he didn't seem surprised that I had asked.

"Soon, I should think," he said. "The ring is in Dumbledore's office at the moment. I might be able to bring it to some of your lessons, depending on her state. She will not be happy to know what right Father holds over you. She did leave him to avoid that, after all."

"Doesn't that mean her spirit will have to stay in the ring?" I asked. "I mean, she told me it wouldn't break free until she satisfied with whoever had guardianship."

Snape nodded. "Certainly," he said. "She won't be satisfied and therefore will remain trapped between the living and the dead."

A flood of very mixed feelings washed over me. On the one hand, I was thrilled to have access to my mother, who would be around for longer. But that was also selfish, because underneath she would be suffering because she couldn't rest in peace.

Snape must have seen all the emotion that time and I wasn't quick enough to shield it.

"There is nothing you can do about it," he said, as the carriage came to a halt. "It was her decision, a risky one at that, to have the charm placed on her."

I nodded, getting up to climb out after Snape.

We began walking back to the front door. Snape glanced up at the castle.

"Umbridge's eyes will be peeping out through one of those windows," he muttered. "I suppose a well-aimed eye-stinging hex would make it obvious who the attacker was…_pity_."


	27. Restrictions

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 26

As Snape and I went into the Entrance Hall, I saw Umbridge charging down the marble staircase. Snape looked up at the ceiling in frustration, as if praying for patience. I kept my eyes on Umbridge, who was made a beeline for us.

"Ah ha!" she said, "so you're back."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "So it would seem," he said.

"Ah," said Umbridge, her eyes darting back and forth between Snape and I. "Ah."

"Is there something you wanted, Dolores?" asked Snape, his voice sounding a little too polite to be genuine.

Umbridge obviously wanted nothing at all, and appeared caught out that she had been watching for our arrival back at the school. She glanced wildly at the students passing by, as if hoping one of them would provide some inspiration for her excuse.

"No, no, Severus," she stuttered, bouncing on her small feet, grinning broadly and making herself seem positively more toad-like than ever. "That will be all."

Snape nodded at her, his lips pursed, and he moved passed her towards the marble staircase.

Avoiding Umbridge's eye, I followed, unsure whether I was supposed to go with him or back to Ravenclaw. Snape made no comment as he turned back and saw me standing behind him, clearly having intended that I would follow. He began to climb the stairs, and I joined him, wondering why he wasn't going back to the dungeons. A moment later it hit me that we were heading for Dumbledore's office. Of course he would want a full report. I was surprised that Snape hadn't told me to go away; I didn't think he liked me hearing all the "adult conversation" that apparently wasn't suitable for a child. I didn't like being thought of as a child.

"Canary Cream," Snape muttered to the stone gargoyle. It sprang to life and we stepped onto the moving staircase.

"Ah, Severus, Armilla," said Dumbledore, putting down his quill as we stepped into his office. He gestured for us to sit down in front of his desk. We both sat, and I noticed that Snape was gripping the arms of his chair more tightly than necessary.

Dumbledore had apparently noticed this as well. "Was it _that_ bad, Severus?" he said, frowning slightly at Snape.

Snape seemed to become aware of his body language and quickly laced his hands in his lap instead. He gave a small shrug. "It was much as I expected," he said. "He is still the same arrogant fool and I couldn't wait to leave the house just to have him out of my sight."

Dumbledore looked fixedly at Snape. "Yes, but you will not have to live with him again, Severus."

Snape must have seen the point Dumbledore was making because he suddenly looked sideways at me, scowling slightly.

"And did _you_ like him, Armilla?" Dumbledore asked, fixing his blue eyes on me.

"No, sir," I said, truthfully. "I thought that he was a chauvinist."

Dumbledore smiled. "Indeed?"

"He's like many other old wizards from pureblood families," said Snape, frowning at no one in particular. "He doesn't see a daughter as much value except for establishing good relations with another pureblood family." He turned to look at me. "Except in your case, there will be more pressure because you are heiress as well."

"But wouldn't it bother him that I can't pass on his _name_ to my children even if I am heiress?" I asked.

"I suppose he has become accustomed to that idea," said Snape, indifferently. "I was his only chance of carrying on the name and he knows that I have no wish to."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Pity you didn't have children, Severus. But I daresay you are a true teacher who looks on at his students as rather his own?"

I pursed my lips, willing myself not to laugh.

Snape rolled his eyes and sneered at Dumbledore. "Don't ever suggest such a thing, Headmaster," he said bitingly. "I teach them. It is not my role to…_love_ them." He looked utterly appalled at the thought.

Dumbledore chuckled again, doing no good for Snape's already questionable temper.

"Did he ask you much about yourself, Armilla?" Dumbledore asked, looking at me again.

"Not a lot, sir," I answered, looking back at him. "He mainly wanted to know about any pureblood boys I might be acquainted with. He didn't care about much else."

"He seems to think Armilla will _fetch a good price_," said Snape, sneering. "He thinks a career is unnecessary and she should only be skilled in domestic duties as her prime role will be raising children."

Dumbledore frowned and he looked back at me. "So he practically has you married off already?"

"He wants to have her presented at wizard court!" said Snape indignantly. "It's ludicrous, Headmaster. She is fifteen and hasn't even sat for her OWLs yet."

"I think you'll have enough influence to stop Armilla being presented at court, Severus," said Dumbledore, thoughtfully. "I happen to know that it was certainly not Merle's wish to have Armilla presented. But I somehow doubt your father will stop lining up potential suitors from hereon."

"Well she shouldn't be marrying as soon as she leaves Hogwarts, anyway," said Snape, angrily. Gee, the guy certainly was passionate.

"I do believe that is _Armilla's_ decision, Severus," said Dumbledore, smiling slightly.

Yes, it was _my_ decision.

Snape glared at him. He turned to face me, fixing his face with a hard expression.

"Well, you are _not_ to be dating while you're still at school," he said, sharply. "Your studies are to come first. Is that clear?"

_No!_ Not that I had my eye on anyone anyway, I didn't like Snape suddenly putting such restrictions on me.

When I didn't answer, Snape grew angrier. "You can be sure that if you date, the name of that wizard will be found out by Father and depending on his lineage, his life will be put in danger. Do you see my point, child?"

_Child._ I didn't like that. All the same, Snape did have a point.

"Yes, sir," I said, quietly.

"Good," he said harshly, still glaring at me.

The tension in the room suddenly seemed high.

Dumbledore hastened to move things along. He turned to me.

"Severus and I have been discussing what you should learn before spending time alone with your father, Armilla. I trust that you have been introduced to that extraordinary chocolate frog card?"

"Yes, sir," I said, not looking at Snape. Even though he had made a point, I felt so angry with him. Maybe it was the power he held over me all of a sudden, feeling he had the right to dictate my actions. Ooh, I didn't want Dumbledore seeing those thoughts. _Steel_ _arm…steel arm_.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore. "For now, Severus will teach you. It will be an excuse to get to know each other anyway." He looked from Snape to me. I was still staring forward and I presumed Snape was doing the same.

Dumbledore cleared his throat before continuing.

"Ahem. You will have to be trained in Occlumency, which I have a shrewd suspicion you already have a flair for…" He gave me a significant look.

Well…I had the grace to look guilty.

"You will also need more training in Defence and Healing charms."

_Healing_ charms? What the?

"If Father injures you in his _teaching_," said Snape, softly, "he will not bother with healing charms as he will consider it _your_ fault that _you _had not defended yourself properly."

I stared back at Snape, pushing the steel arm into my mind to push out the abundant fear that was growing there.

"Are you drawing up an extra timetable for Armilla, Severus?" asked Dumbledore, standing up from his desk and moving towards the stairs to the upper level of his office.

"Yes," he replied. He turned back to me. "I will give it to you when you come to brew your potion tomorrow night."

I nodded.

"Do you wish to see your mother, Armilla?" asked Dumbledore.

"Yes," I said, standing up. Snape stood too, looking anxious.

"I have informed your mother of the situation," said Dumbledore, addressing Snape.

"She is not entirely happy, of course, but as long as you assure her of your devotion to the wellbeing of Armilla, things won't be too bad."

Snape nodded, looking grim.

"I'll leave you two alone then," said Dumbledore, gesturing towards the stairs.

Snape led the way up the stairs and I followed, feeling slightly apprehensive about seeing my mother. The last time I had seen her, Snape had stormed off in a huff, having learnt that I was his sister.

The ring was on a table near the window. We both moved to stand in front of it. My mother's face came into view. When she caught sight of us she smiled.

"Hello, my dear children," she said.

"Mother," Snape said, nodding at her.

I had opened my mouth, but nothing had come out.

"Armilla, I am so sorry that you have to know your father," Mother said.

"It's not your fault," I said. "It won't be that bad."

Mother closed her eyes. "I hope not," she said. When she opened them, she looked at Severus. "As long as your brother is here to look after you. You will look after her properly, Severus?"

Snape looked at her sharply. "Of course I will," he said.

Mother let out a sigh. "I wish that could satisfy me completely," she said. "But I feel I will remain in this ring for awhile yet."

"It was a risky thing to do, having that charm performed on you," said Snape, disapprovingly.

It was Mother's turn to give a sharp look. "I do not regret it Severus," she said. "If I hadn't, you would have never found out about your sister."

Snape glanced at me, his black eyes giving nothing away.

"You will both come and visit often, won't you?" asked Mother.

"We will," Snape assured her.

"And I want to hear updates on the goings-on between the two of you and your father."

"Of course," said Snape, his face expressionless as he looked at his mother. I had the suspicion that he was occluding his mind. I didn't think he was going to tell Mother _every_ detail about our visit. She would be stuck in that ring forever.

"Very well," she said, looking a little happier.

By the time we left Dumbledore's office, lunch was well and truly over. I wasn't hungry anyway, and as I made to head for the Ravenclaw common room, Snape called me back.

"Dumbledore arranged for lunch to be left in my office. You will come and eat first. You are not to skip any meals, Armilla. You are about to start a gruelling training program and I assure you, you _will_ need your strength. Come."

Feeling quite disconcerted, I allowed myself to be taken back down to the dungeons for what felt like a final meal. I was leaving a trouble-free, uncomplicated life behind.


	28. Occlumency

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 27

After Snape was satisfied that I had eaten enough lunch, I left the dungeons in search of my friends. I found them sitting on the grass near the lake, basking in the afternoon sun.

"Hey, Mill," Terry called as I made my way towards them.

"So, how was it?" Lisa asked anxiously, as I settled on the grass next to her.

"Okay," I said honestly. "I wouldn't nominate him for _Witch Weekly's_ Father of the Year though."

"Snape has to be in his thirties," said Terry, thoughtfully. "Lord…how _old_ is your dad?"

"In his sixties," I replied. "But I don't find it that strange. Merle was also an elderly parent."

"True," Terry admitted. "What was it like? I mean, a morning tea with _two_ Snapes in the room?"

"Three," I corrected.

Terry and Lisa looked uncomfortable.

"It wasn't that bad," I said, staring at the grass. "He's an old-fashioned pureblooded fool who wanted to talk of nothing except potential suitors for me and how much money I could bring to the family."

Terry's mouth dropped open. Lisa wrinkled her nose.

"You're fifteen, Mill," she said. "I think a small percentage of our year is dating, but as far as I know, no one's engaged yet. You may be the first."

"Ha, ha," I muttered.

"So did Snape agree with all this?" Lisa asked.

I let out a hollow laugh. "No way," I said, bitterly. "He's all for focusing on nothing except study." I thought for a moment. "Also, just a piece of advice; _never_ mention being presented at wizarding court in his presence."

"So Snape and your dad are really different?" Terry asked, watching the Giant Squid poke its tentacles out of the water.

I didn't answer at first. I hadn't really stopped to compare the two.

"Well, physically, Snape looks a little bit like him. They have the same nose and eye colour, but otherwise I would say Snape looks more like my mum. In everything else, I think they are both true Slytherins. My father especially seems like he would stop at nothing to achieve his own goals. But…somehow I think they've got completely different morals. I only met my father today but a strong feeling inside me tells me he is no good."

"And your brother?" asked Lisa, softly. Terry leaned forward.

"I don't think he's all good or all bad," I said, simply. "I know I would prefer his company over my father's, no matter how temperamental he is."

"So should we start valuing the time we have with you?" asked Terry. "Are you going to be whisked away soon in an arranged marriage?"

"No," I said, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "Not if Snape has anything to do with it. He doesn't want me to even think about marriage until I've well and truly left Hogwarts."

"Well that's alright," said Lisa. "My parents are just the same. Dating is different, though. They don't mind me dating, as long as it doesn't affect my marks."

Terry scoffed. "Oh, as if anything could affect _your_ marks. You'd _trample_ over anything or anybody who got in the way."

Lisa went red. "Shut up," she said, her lips pursed. She looked as though she couldn't decide whether to take offence or smile.

"Do you reckon Snape would care if you dated?" asked Terry, grinning. "I mean, would he have this protective older brother thing and screen test every boy you look at?"

"Oh, he _would_ care," I said, airily. "But the screen test thing wouldn't happen. I'm not _allowed_ to date." I still knew that Snape had made a good point, but even so, I was still inwardly fuming that Snape was well and truly using his _rights_ over me.

"What?" Terry and Lisa exclaimed, their eyes wide.

"Oh, come on," I said, acidly. "Does that _really_ surprise you? Did you really think Snape would be _happy_ for me to date another one of the students he detests?"

"Yeah, good point," Terry said, laughing. "Lord, imagine having him for a brother-in-law!"

"Hey, Mill," said Lisa, giggling. "When you have children, will they call him Uncle Sev?"

I shuddered. "Shut up."

o o o o o o o o o o o

Later that evening, I left Lisa and Terry in the common room, making the excuse that I was tired and wanted to go to bed. I got changed into my pyjamas and got into bed holding my chocolate frog card and my wand. I drew the curtains around my bed and sat staring at the card.

"Lumos," I whispered, making a soft glow come from my wand.

There was no sound coming from the card, but I knew the wizard on the front was snoring. He was resting his head on his hand and had his mouth hanging open. No messages then.

"_Revelate_," I whispered, pointing my wand at the card. Immediately, the card turned into the two books. I picked up _Defence against the Darkest Magic_ and flipped through it. A few pictures in it made my stomach churn. There were pictures of hideous skin disorders, people's body organs attached to the outside of their bodies and lists of many curses that performed such appalling actions I shuddered countless times. I could see why the book had been bought in Knockturn Alley. The other book held even more curses and their counter-curses.

What made me feel sick was not the content of the books, but the fact that I was reading them in preparation in case my father performed them on _me_. I felt a pang of compassion for Snape and my mother. No wonder they were so against me being anywhere near my father. And Snape had endured it throughout his whole childhood.

_No wonder he's turned out the way he has_, a voice inside me said. _You would have probably been the same if you had lived with him during your childhood instead of living with Merle._

The anger I was feeling towards Snape died down a little bit. I supposed that he was going to be over protective in _all_ matters concerned with me. In all honesty, I guessed that Snape wanted to make sure I didn't travel down the same path he did.

"_Desguisatus_," I muttered, pointing my wand at the books. They shrank and turned back into the chocolate frog card. The wizard was still sleeping. I yawned just watching him. It _was_ true that yawning was contagious.

"_Nox_." I stuck my wand and the card under my pillow and laid down to sleep.

o o o o o o o o o o o

In a bit of a twisted way, I came to be thankful that Draco Malfoy had 'let slip' that I was Snape's sister. Classes the next day would have been more difficult if no one had known.

Though most the school knew about me being Snape's sister by now, it was still a shock to all the students in my classes when I was addressed as "Miss Snape" by the teachers. Professor Flitwick seemed to like the new name so much he used it in every sentence every time he spoke to me, which to me was like beating the other students over the head with the new information.

Every time I was called "Miss Snape" during the day, everyone would turn and stare in my direction, looking either politely interested (generally Ravenclaws) or stunned (every other house). I supposed it never occurred to them that my name would be changed.

Malfoy and his cronies sniggered when they heard it. The Hufflepuffs actually looked fearfully at me, while the Gryffindors eyes me warily all lesson. Ron Weasley whispered something to Hermione Granger, who shook her head at him. He shook his head too and I heard him mutter an appalled "bloody hell". Harry glanced at me, a little stunned when he heard my name, but he didn't look in my direction much after that. Good, I didn't want all that attention from anyone. Thankfully, I didn't have Potions; I wasn't sure if hearing Snape call me by my new name felt right.

That evening, I made my way down to the dungeons again to make a potion and receive the timetable that Snape had said he would draw up. In the corridor of Snape's classroom, I saw Draco Malfoy coming the other way, without his bodyguards for once. Out of nowhere, Snape's voice came into my head.

"_More than anything else, I would appreciate it if you limit your communication with Draco Malfoy."_

Sighing, I continued walking, planning to walk right past him. But, of course, Malfoy had other ideas.

"Armilla," he said, pompously, standing in my way. "How lovely to see you." Hmm, I didn't like this first name basis thing.

"Malfoy," I greeted, nodding slightly at him.

"And what brings you down to the dungeons at this time of the day? A chat with your brother perhaps? I _do_ hope the two of you are close." He was rocking back and forth on his feet, a smirk on his face.

I moved a step to the left. Malfoy moved in front of me.

"You're in my way, Malfoy," I said, in a low tone.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Am I?" he said. He took a small step back. "I do most sincerely apologise. But I must point out that you failed to answer my question."

"And you _fail_ to realise that whatever I do is none of _your_ concern," I snapped.

That wiped the smirk off his face.

"Easy Kemp," Malfoy spat. "Or should I say, _Snape_. I know your father very well. He would be most interested to know how you treat your fellow students, especially _pureblood_ Slytherin students who are old family friends."

I froze. That had struck a nerve. Malfoy would feed all his information to his father, and consequently, to my father.

"So _excuse_ me if I _am_ interested in your affairs," said Malfoy, smirking again, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "For I am _most_ interested."

"And _I_ am most interested in why the two of you are having a conversation in the corridor when you _both_ have places to be," said a deep, very familiar voice. God that man could move without sound. We turned to see Snape standing behind us. His eyes flitted from Malfoy to me. He looked far from pleased.

"Professor Snape," said Malfoy, pleasantly. "I was just asking after your sister's welfare and making sure she knew where your office was."

Snape pursed his lips. "Indeed. I do believe Armilla is aware of the whereabouts of my office, Mr Malfoy."

Malfoy's smile faded. "Oh. Well, I had best be going…um…prefect meeting."

Snape nodded. "Yes."

Malfoy turned to face me again. "Goodbye, Armilla. See you around." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked towards the dungeon stairs leading to the Entrance Hall.

Snape looked down his hooked nose at me. "I was wondering why you were late," he said.

"Come." He swept off down the hall.

"I couldn't avoid him," I said quietly, hurrying to keep up with him.

He didn't answer. We went inside his office and Snape sealed the door behind him. I wondered why we were in his office, rather than the classroom.

"He made it clear that if I avoid him, his father will know," I said, watching Snape move towards his desk.

"Then you will have to tolerate him," he replied, turning to lean on his desk. "You will have to be polite to him to save your own neck, but you are not to be friendly with him."

"I had no intentions of it," I muttered, more to myself than to Snape.

"Take out your wand," Snape ordered, straightening up and withdrawing his own ebony wand from his robes.

I complied. My wand was significantly lighter in colour than Snape's. It was Rosewood, 14 ¼ inches. It was best suited for healing, love charms, divination use and powers in matters of the heart. I had always found a few of those facts strange, since it was the wand that choose the witch. I had absolutely no interest in divination and as for love charms…well, no intentions there either.

"You have caught up well enough in practical Potions," Snape said, watching me closely. "Therefore you will not be making a potion tonight. There are more pressing matters at hand. I trust you had a look at those books I gave you?"

"Yes, sir," I said, doing my best not to wince as I thought of some of the disturbing images on those pages.

"They are not as graphic as some of the texts I could have selected for you," he said, still watching me. "However, they will give you a realistic sense of what to expect once you live at Snape Manor."

I looked away. I would have felt better if I thought that Snape was trying to scare me for the sake of it. But my stomach turned because I knew he wasn't trying to scare me at all. He was being realistic himself. He had been through it himself and he knew what was in store for me. I had to be prepared.

"Look at me, Armilla," said Snape quietly. I looked back and met his gaze. His expression was completely indifferent.

"These lessons will not guarantee success in defending yourself from Father or indeed, _healing_ yourself. But it will be better for you to go there being ready to face _anything_, and not just from Father. He does like to have guests-" he paused.

I didn't want to think about what he meant by that.

"I expect you will have to spend some time there during the Christmas holidays," he continued. "I hope to arrange for you to spend Christmas day here, but you may have to spend a few days afterwards with Father."

I nodded. Goody. Didn't you just love the happy, joyous, festive season of Christmas? Especially when you knew that after it was over you got to spend it with a lunatic for a father?

"That said," Snape said, "we have a couple of months for you to strengthen your skills in Defence Against the Dark Arts and healing. There is no time to waste and I expect you to have full commitment in these lessons. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, looking him in the eye. I meant it. I just hoped I wouldn't prove to be a complete dunderhead in his eyes.

"Now," said Snape, going into Professor lecturer mode. "What can you tell me about Legilimency and Occlumency?"

I thought back to what Merle had told me. She had said she would teach me both. I felt a slight pang in my heart just thinking of her.

"Legilimency," I started slowly, "is the ability to look into another's mind and find their memories and feelings. Occlumency allows one to seal their mind to stop another breaking into it."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "You sound like Miss Granger."

I gave a small smile. Hermione had always reminded me of Merle.

"Nevertheless," he went on, "that is correct. Now, I will attempt to break into your mind and you must do your best to stop me entering."

"How do I do that, sir?" I asked. I didn't really want Snape to see my thoughts. But I had a vague suspicion that my 'steel arm' thing would come in handy.

"You may use any defensive charms you can think off," he answered. "Or you might consider using magical imagery as a weapon of defence." He gave me a knowing look. "I believe you are familiar with that branch of magic."

I looked back at him, giving a tiny nod. I wondered how much Snape had seen in my mind before I had started using the steel arm strategy. I didn't think he had the right to be looking into my mind.

"I won't always ask you if you are ready," said Snape, raising his wand. "_Legilimens_!"

Everything around me vanished. All of a sudden, images were swimming in front of me, memory after memory, some I didn't even know I had. I was four; Merle was telling me the reason why I didn't call her 'mum'. I was eleven; the sorting hat was telling me that I was without a doubt a Ravenclaw. Then I saw a couple of recent memories, Merle's last breath, Shar coming towards me with a knife…no…I didn't want to relive _that_. I pushed the steel arm up in my mind, mentally pushing the memory off into the distance. _Focus…focus…just concentrate on the arm…_

Snape's office came back into view. He was standing further away now and I wondered briefly if by pushing the memory away I had also magically pushed Snape away without touching him.

His expression showed no anger, though he was giving me a calculating look.

"Well, it does appear that you will master Occlumency sooner than I thought," he said, coming to stand in front of his desk again. "Tell me, the mental weapon you used to push me away – have you used it before?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. If I said yes, Snape would want to know why I had been doing it. I just didn't really want to share my personal thoughts and fears with him yet. Though he was undoubtedly my brother, I didn't know him well enough to confide in him. If I said no, I knew Snape wouldn't believe me. I guessed that Snape already knew the answer anyway. He just wanted confirmation of it.

"I'll take your silence as a yes," said Snape, his dark eyes fixed on mine. "It is an advantage to us that we will not have to take up so much time on this now. We will be free to devote time to defensive spells and counter curses."

Oh good. He wasn't going to question me after all.

"You do need to improve your timing, however," he went on. "You let me get in too far before you even attempted to push me back. Had I been an unwelcome intruder looking for vital information, chances are I could have found it in that time. As soon as you feel an intrusion you must react. _Legilimens_!"

The room vanished just as it had done before. I saw a blur of colour emerge as Snape started to delve into my memories. Right away, I focused on the steel arm again. It was successful for a couple of seconds, but then it flickered as Snape tried to push harder. The memory of Snape catching me in a hallway of the Secret Wing while I was having the puddle dream came into focus. Not wanting to relive the embarrassment of _that_, I mentally made the steel arm wider and concentrated on it having more strength than before. This time it was well and truly successful. Snape's office came back into view in time for me to see Snape staggering backwards.

He straightened up again and gave a small nod. "That was an improvement, certainly," he said. "The timing was better than before but whatever mental weapon you are using, it must be made stronger. I was not using all my magical strength to invade your mind and I assure you, others may." He came to stand in front of his desk again. He pocketed his wand and folded his arms, regarding me closely. "I do hope you have seen the end of your _puddle dream_?"

I glared at him, though admittedly half-heartedly. I didn't think he was trying to be malicious.

Snape smirked. "Yes? Well, thank heavens for that."

Alright, alright. You've had your fun…let's move on then.

We went on for another hour, with Snape trying different tactics to catch me off guard. He would innocently ask me to pick up a book lying on a desk and as I would comply, he would cast the spell. Also, he would start commenting on what I needed to do and would finish the sentence with the spell.

A couple of times, he got straight in and then I would have to bare the displeasure on his face when I finally pushed him away. By the end of the hour though, I was successfully pushing him away, even when he was pushing with a great deal of strength.

"Well, you have progressed quickly in a short space of time," said Snape when we finally stopped. "Until our next meeting, you must constantly practise though, even if it means putting the barrier up when you are talking to other students or teachers. Get into the habit of having it up whenever you are talking to anyone. This way, you'll find it easier to throw someone out if you're suddenly invaded."

"Yes, sir."

Snape turned slightly and picked a small piece of parchment off his desk.

"This is your timetable for extra lessons with me," he said, handing me the parchment.

It was completely blank and looked like something anyone could have easily thrown away.

"To make the timetable appear, tap it with your wand and say _Revelate_, just like with your chocolate frog card. In this case though, the parchment is charmed to recognise your fingerprints. Therefore, you must be holding the parchment to activate it. I've charmed it so that only you or I may access it."

I had to admit to myself that it was impressive. "Where did you get the idea to create this?" I asked. I immediately regretted asking.

Snape's expression had changed to a scowl. "Let's just say I had seen something like it before, though it was used for mischief instead of anything useful."

"Oh."

"That will be all for tonight. Remember what I have told you about practising. Even if some of our lessons are not set aside for Occlumency, I may choose to invade your mind at anytime during them."

Oh, excellent. Constantly being on my guard was going to get tiring…

"You may go, then. I am sure you have homework to do as well." Snape waved his wand to unlock the door.

I made my way to the door. As I opened it, I turned around.

"Goodnight, sir," I said.

Snape looked up at me, his blank expression flickering slightly to reveal a hint of surprise.

"Goodnight, Armilla."


	29. With fondest regards

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 28

All the way up to the Ravenclaw Common Room I tried to keep the steel arm in my mind. It was hard to keep it there because my mind would drift off to other thoughts and the arm would fade from my focus. I tried to imagine that the front of my mind was like an empty room and after fifteen years I had decided to put a piece of furniture in it. I had to carry on living in it, getting used to the new, but permanent feature.

I passed a number of students along the way. The students who were on a friendly basis with me nodded at me said hello. I returned the greeting each time and was pleased that I kept the steel arm up the entire time. At least if Snape checked, he could see that I had been practising.

The last thing I felt like doing was homework. I felt really tired, though I hadn't been doing _that_ much, really. But then, it wasn't everyday that I let strangers explore my deepest memories. No, not strangers. _My brother_. After all that had happened, at times I still couldn't comprehend the fact that Severus Snape shared the same parents as I.

I soon quashed the little voice in my head that suggested that I put my homework off for another night. It was very un-Ravenclaw of me to even have that little voice in my head. Lisa would be horrified at the thought of not doing it right away. She lived by the "don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today" saying. So when I entered the common room, I immediately looked around the room in search of my friends. I spotted Lisa sitting alone at a small table, hunched over her books, with one hand playing with the end of her long brown plait.

"Hey," I said, sitting down across from her. "Nearly finished?"

"No," she grunted. "I can't find any decent references for that damn Potions essay." She suddenly looked up at me, horrified. "Oh, sorry," she stammered, "I didn't mean…that is, I um…sorry."

I laughed. "Just because he's my brother it doesn't mean you can't insult the homework he sets. Anyway, I think it's probably been a tradition for the students to complain about Snape's homework since he started teaching here."

She gave me a sheepish smile.

"Where's Terry?" I asked, looking around the room.

Lisa snorted. "Oh, _I_ certainly don't know what Terry does with all his time. Apparently, _I'm_ not entitled to know."

I stared at her, trying not to smile. "Did you two have a row?"

"Yeah, you could say that. He was sitting here working with me one minute and then he was jumping up the next, saying he had a study group meeting."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Study group meeting?" Lisa scoffed. "I know about every study group meeting there is!"

I smiled. "I don't think that's what's upsetting you."

Lisa folded her arms on her open Potions textbook. "He could have told me what he is _really_ up to," she said, bitterly. "Every so often, he leaves the common room at night with Michael Corner and a few others. Sometimes I see Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe with them. They always look happy when they leave, and they look _really_ happy when they come back."

"_Really_ happy?" I asked, laughing. What was the girl on about?

Lisa nodded. "Really happy." She leaned forward and indicated that I do the same.

"You know," she whispered. "Maybe they're doing something illegal, like drinking illegal potions and stuff. Terry knows I wouldn't be apart of that. He certainly wouldn't tell you because Snape might find out."

"I don't know, Lis," I said slowly. "That's sound a little too outrageous to me."

"Outrageous!" said Lisa, in a loud whisper. "You haven't known who you are all your life. Your guardian just died, you got attacked by your neighbour, you found your mother…sort of, you found out how your bracelet works, and you discovered that Professor Snape, the Head of Slytherin of all people is your brother! You also found out that your father is still alive and thus you became the subject of a custody argument, now you have private lessons with Snape in case your dad attacks you and you tell me that YOU find it too outrageous that Terry could have joined an illegal potion-drinking group?" Lisa stopped to take a breath, her face turning pink.

"I do," I said coolly. "Whatever Terry is doing is his business and as his friend, you shouldn't question it, no matter how curious you are."

Lisa glared at me. "But-"

"No buts," I interrupted. "That's how awful fights can start. When he's ready to tell you, he will. If not, don't bug him about it. People keep secrets for a reason, Lisa."

"And _you_ would know about that, would you?" she snapped. "Can't I be trusted or something. Friends are meant to share things, aren't they?"

"Of course they're meant to share things," I sighed. I really didn't want to turn this into a huge quarrel. "It's just that sometimes things are a little too personal, or sometimes it's in the best interests of the friends not to tell them something."

Lisa shrugged, looking grumpy. Personally, I thought she had been working too long.

"Fine," she said, simply. She gathered up her books. "I understand that. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Night," I replied, starting to feel grumpy myself. I had enough to worry about without having to tiptoe around Lisa's sensitive emotions all of a sudden.

I pulled my books out and began to work…and work…and work. It seemed the teachers thought that the fifth years could function without sleep.

At around 9:30 pm, Terry and a group of other Ravenclaws returned. The common room was still pretty crowded, so not many noticed their return. Lisa was right, though. They _did _certainly look happy. They were all grinning and chatting animatedly with each other. I didn't try to get Terry's attention and he disappeared to the boy's dormitory, deep in conversation with Anthony Goldstein.

I leaned back in my chair, yawning. I still had Transfiguration and Charms homework to finish.

It was 11:30pm by the time I finally fell into my bed. I had a splitting headache by then, but I still wanted to examine my new timetable before sleeping. Making sure all the other girls were well and truly asleep, I pulled the hangings around my bed and whispered _Lumos_, pointing my wand at the parchment. I picked the parchment up with my other hand, remembering what Snape had said about touching it, and said _Revelate_.

Black ink began to form lines and letters across the parchment. It formed a table, in which all my current subjects were listed, but it also listed new meetings with Snape. Or at least, I knew that they meant meeting with Snape. As a security precaution, the meetings said things like _Extra Potions lesson_ and _An_ _enhanced understanding of Potions seminar_. A little picture of a frog near these words told me that I had to consult my chocolate frog card for more information. I had lessons with Snape on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. Saturday mornings was delegated to homework, while Saturday afternoons were to be spent in lessons with Snape. Sundays were free, though I knew those could be spent with Snape still, depending on my progress.

My attention was suddenly diverted by a soft tapping on the window pane. Pulling my bed hangings aside, I glanced towards the window. A dark owl was sitting just outside, clearly waiting to be let in. I hopped up and opened the window, and the owl flew straight in and circled the room before settling on my bedside table. It gave a low hoot and held out its leg, to which a letter had been tied. As I undid it, it nipped at my fingers crankily.

"Sod off, you nutter," I muttered when I had finally released the letter. The owl hooted pompously and flew out the window again.

Shutting the window, I sank into my bed again, shutting the hangings around me. Who would be writing to me? Matilda? She certainly owned a cranky bird, but it was a tawny one. I opened the letter and saw handwriting that I was not familiar with.

_Dear Armilla,_

_As I understand it, your true identity is now well known up at the school. I take this opportunity to make it clear to you that no matter what your brother might say, you have a reputation as a Snape to uphold. I believe that the following requests are reasonable and if I find that you disobey any one of them, you will be severely punished._

_1. You will not speak ill of any of your relations ( I have my own reasons for speaking ill of Severus)_

_2. You will not speak ill of any of our strong family connections. You will not insult or be rude to any member of a family I regard as close. Generally, these families descend from Slytherin House._

_3. You will conduct yourself in a lady-like manner at all times, showing the highest degree of decorum._

_4. You will not receive a fail in any of your subjects. I do hope that Severus is monitoring this himself, but you should be receiving an 'Exceeds Expectations' at the very least._

_5. You are not to associate with any 'lesser' members of the student body._

_If I have any further requests I will contact you. I will say that I recently discovered that you are not on friendly terms with Draco Malfoy. I regard his father as a close friend and I will not tolerate you being rude to his son. I do hope you understand this. Rather, you WILL understand this._

A green liquid suddenly spurted out of the parchment and hit me in the face. Bits of it dribbled off and splashed down onto my arm. I gasped. It stung like hell. I grabbed a box of tissues and madly wiped the stuff off me. I could feel three welts growing on my left cheek. Several smaller welts had started to grow on my arm where the substance had splashed.

My eyes were stinging with tears I was holding back, not from a want to cry, but a want to shriek with pain. But I needed to hold it back. The others in the room couldn't find out. I didn't know what to do. As if the answer would be on the letter, I suddenly looked down at it again.

_I hope you have learned your lesson. Politeness is a virtue, Armilla._

_On a lighter note, I have enclosed some spending money. Put it to good use on your next Hogsmeade weekend. By that I mean, do not spend it on Zonko's or Honeydukes products._

Three galleons appeared on the parchment and fell down into my lap.

_I expect a reply, giving me your word to comply with my requests._

_With fondest regards,_

_Your_ _loving Father_

_Loving_ father?!? What the? Forget the owl, this man was the nutter! What kind of father made a letters spray weird substances at his daughter to cause painful welts?

_Your father_ said a voice in my head. Right, so was I supposed to accept this sort of thing as the norm?

I had to get rid of the welts before the morning. I didn't want to be the talk of the school again. I grabbed a small mirror from my bedside table.

"You look terrible, dear," said the mirror. I certainly did. The welts had made my left cheek swell, making my face look oddly distorted. I had no idea how to heal them and I wasn't about to try. I didn't want my whole face to swell because I botched up a healing charm. I knew I couldn't go to Madam Pomfrey. I didn't want to go running down to the dungeons at this time of the night. It was nearly midnight after all; I didn't think Snape would be that sympathetic anyway.

But he would be annoyed at me if I didn't tell him. He would be able to heal the welts, even if I was embarrassed to go to him in my current state. I needed him to help me reply to my father's letter anyway.

I got out the chocolate frog card. The wizard on the front was sleeping. I turned the card over and stared at it. I had no idea how to put a message there. Snape had only intended to send me messages. But I really needed to contact him. I tapped the name with my wand. Nothing happened.

A tear from the pain ran down my face; my cheek and arm felt like they were on fire. Feeling quite desperate, I repeatedly tapped my wand against the name. Nothing happened. Quite deflated, I was about to give up when a message appeared towards the bottom of the card.

_What is it?_

My heart must have skipped a beat. I had made a connection. But I didn't know how to reply.

"I got a letter from Father," I whispered, wondering how I would get those words onto the card. I didn't have to wonder long. A split second later, there they were on the card.

A moment later I had another response.

_I take it the letter has caused you some anxiety?_

"Mentally and physically," I replied.

_Physically?_

"He thought I was rude to Draco Malfoy, so he charmed the letter to spray some sort of substance at me. I don't know what it is, but it hurts like hell."

_Don't say 'hell'. I will charm the card to transport you to my quarters. It will be ready when you see the place of the next meeting change. Bring the letter with you._

Breathing a sigh of relief, I laid back against my pillows. I concentrated on every breath and the steel arm as a means to subdue the pain. Lord, if I copped that for being rude to Draco Malfoy then I didn't want to know what would happen if I back-chatted my father.

I glanced at the card in time to see the meeting place change from _Professor Snape's Office_ to _Professor Snape's Rooms_. I pulled on my dressing gown and slippers and picked up the letter and money. I pressed my index finger against the card.

The sensation was a little bit like a portkey. The tug behind my navel wasn't so forceful but it didn't stop me feeling a bit dizzy. The trip was over in a matter of seconds and I felt two strong arms reach out to steady me as my feet hit the floor.

Snape muttered an oath when he caught sight of my face. He kept one arm on my own and used his other hand to tilt my head back so he could see the welts in the light, which was coming from sconces on the walls. I unsuccessfully suppressed a gasp as Snape lightly ran a finger over one of the welts.

"Come," he said, leading me over to a dark green sofa. We were in a sitting room, richly decorated with mahogany furniture. The fact that there were no windows told me we were in the dungeons. The sitting room was fairly large. It had one large sofa and two armchairs positioned around an ornate coffee table. At the side of the room there was a round dining table to seat four. There were bookcases lining two of the walls. A hallway behind the sofa showed three closed doors.

Snape conjured up an icepack and told me to hold it against my face until he returned. He left me on the sofa and went to retrieve a potion from what I supposed was another lab or office. He disappeared into the room on the right off the hallway. A minute later he returned carrying a small bottle containing a purple liquid and a piece of cloth. He uncorked the bottle and let it soak a bit of the cloth.

"I do hope we won't have to do this often," he said quietly, as he took the icepack away and pressed the soaked cloth to my cheek. Pain, worse than before burst through my body and it was all I could do not to scream.

Snape watched me shudder. "He uses the darkest curses he knows to punish people," he said. "It takes the most powerful charms or potions to heal them. Consider this a small dose of what he's capable of inflicting."

I held my breath. The pain was so bad, but I could actually feel the swelling going down. I kept shuddering. I couldn't help it. I tried instead to focus on the steel arm.

Snape soaked the cloth again and pressed it onto my face. A fresh burst of pain emerged. _Steel arm…steel arm._

"That's it," he whispered. "Focus on something else. Put all your energy into it. _Concentrate_."

_Steel arm…steel arm…_

Every time the cloth was soaked again and pressed to my face, the steel arm threatened to disappear. But I tried to keep focusing. I was so tired…

By the time Snape was satisfied my face was healed and he moved onto my arm injury, I thought I would fall asleep with exhaustion. But when the cloth was pressed against my arm, I perked up again immediately with the shock of the pain. This time, Snape took my hand in his.

"Just squeeze me hand," he ordered. "Concentrate on that. Keep squeezing."

I squeezed his hand so hard I thought I would break it. But the man was stronger than he looked. He didn't even flinch.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Snape corked the bottle again, satisfied that the welts and swelling had been healed. I felt like I was going to collapse, but I was willing myself not to. Not in front of Snape. I didn't want to appear even weaker.

Snape sat back in the sofa next to me and took the letter from my other hand. His face grew harder as he read through its contents.

"Well, I suppose we had better draft a reply at your next lesson," he said through gritted teeth when he had finished. He held out his hand. "The money?"

I handed it over.

He scowled at it.

"I don't want you spending any money you receive from him," he said, bitterly. "I will give you money when you need it, but you are not to ever go to him for _anything_. Is that clear?"

"Yes," I said. I was so tired. "I didn't ask him for money in the first place."

"I know," he replied, scowling at the coins in his hand. He looked down at me. "It is well past the time you should have been in bed." He stood up. "Come."

Expecting him to alter the chocolate frog card so I could be transported back to my dorm, I was surprised to be led down the hallway instead. Snape opened the door on the left. Inside was a small room with a bed, bedside table, armoire and desk in it. A door at the opposite end led to a bathroom.

"I want you to stay here tonight," said Snape. "This is your room while you stay down here. Dumbledore had the rooms down here altered." He waved his wand and the bedcovers rolled back for me to get in.

"Go on then," he said, giving me a small push into the room. "I'm in the room at the end of the hall if you need me. Knock first."

I nodded as I got into bed. The bed had already been charmed to be warm. That was thoughtful. I welcomed the warmth and my eyelids became heavy as I lay down. I was already half-asleep when Snape moved to spell out the lights. I must have been asleep before he even left the room.


	30. Armilla Triumphant

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 29

I felt groggy and unwell when I woke the next morning. It must have been pretty late when I had finally went to bed. For a moment, I just laid there, staring at the canopy above me, memories of the night before swimming in and out of my head.

My father…_no_, my _loving_ father had sent me a set of behaviour guidelines disguised as a letter and I had received my first punishment…

I blinked as I remembered where I was. I was in Snape's rooms. No, I was in _my own bedroom_ in Snape's rooms! He had insisted that I stay. I pondered this briefly. Why hadn't he just sent me back to Ravenclaw Tower to bed? It would have been just as easy to do that using the chocolate frog card again. And he certainly loathed the idea of my father giving me money. I supposed they were sharing the cost of the school fees, but Snape seemed to have taken it personally that Father had sent spending money. Not that I had wanted it – I didn't want _anything_ from Father, even his wretched mansion and considerable assets. But I would feel funny asking Snape for money. All in all, every time I looked at him, I had to keep reminding myself that he was my brother, not just the mean Head of Slytherin.

But he hadn't been mean last night. Not really.

I stared around the room. Though it was small and lacked any natural light, it wasn't a bad room. I had been so exhausted the night before that I had barely registered any details after I had done Snape's bidding and got into bed.

The floor was stone, but it was largely covered by a cream rug. The bedding was also cream, but the edges of the bedspread finished in lace with pale blue ribbon running through it, the pale blue matching the walls. The hangings around the bed matched the bedspread, with blue ties to hold them back. The bedding in particular reminded me very much of what I had had at home at Merle's. I knew Snape had never been there, but Dumbledore had several times and so I concluded it must have been him who had decorated the room.

The desk and armoire were mahogany, just like the furniture in Snape's sitting room down the hall. It was certainly a lovely room – and very obviously decorated for a Ravenclaw. I let out a muffled laugh, thinking what the room would have looked like if Snape had been left to decorate it. I had a sudden image of suspended objects in bottles lining walls and shuddered to think what it would be like to sleep in the same room as them.

I rolled over and glanced at the clock on my bedside table. 7:03 am. I yawned and sat up, wondering what sort of etiquette I was supposed to follow down here. I supposed that Snape would already be up and possibly already preparing his lessons for the day. I wondered if I was supposed to wait for him to show me out or leave by myself. But then, I had only gotten here in the first place because of the chocolate frog card. I knew I was somewhere in the dungeons, but the dungeons were huge and I had never really explored them on a grand scale. If I let myself out, chances were I would get lost and miss my first class anyway.

I had double Potions first. I groaned. That was the last thing I felt like at the moment. I wasn't bad at Potions, but I didn't have the natural ability for it that Snape did. My Ravenclaw learning prowess mainly resided in the Charms and Transfiguration classrooms. I certainly hadn't slept well enough for a practical Potions lesson.

After I had showered, I realised (too late of course) that I had no clothes with me besides my pyjamas. Cursing, I threw the doors to the armoire open in violent frustration and was startled to find all my clothes in there! The same clothes that I had seen hanging in my dorm the night before. The armoire must have been charmed to hold a connection with the closet in my dorm. I dressed in the bathroom (out of fear of embarrassment if Snape happened to walk in) and then stood staring at the clothes hanging in the armoire, wondering if I could somehow use it to transport myself back to my dorm.

"Don't even think about it. It only holds the connection for garments," said a deep voice from the doorway.

Flushing, I whirled around to face my brother. He was clad in his usual black robes, leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded. His expression as usual gave nothing away.

"I wasn't thinking that," I muttered, closing the doors to the armoire.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Oh, no?"

"No, sir," I replied, not meeting his eye. I wasn't confident enough in my Occlumency skills to challenge him yet.

"If you're ready, we'll go to breakfast. You're ready for class, then?"

"Not quite," I said. "I need to go to Ravenclaw Tower to get my bag."

Snape waved his hand, shaking his head. He took a few steps into the room.

"That's already been taken care of," he said. "Your bag is in the sitting room." He folded his arms again. "I meant, are you up to a double Potions lesson after last night's episode? I do _not_ want any explosions, even if they are accidental, occurring in my class this morning."

"I did the readings," I replied. "I shouldn't have any trouble."

Snape shook his head again. "'It's not your abilities I doubt," he said impatiently. Was that a _compliment_? "You were in bed late and the potion I used on your face and arm does not always leave people in the best health. It has a number of marked side effects."

A gnawing pain settled itself in my stomach, but I couldn't tell if it was from Snape's words or not. I hadn't felt well since I had awoken. Maybe I was just plain paranoid.

"I would be surprised if you said you _were_ in the best of health this morning," he continued. He looked at me closely. "If you think you are well enough, you may come to class. However, if an accident occurs…you know how quickly things spread in this school. Draco Malfoy will find out and consequently, _Father_." Snape scowled at the thought of his father. "He will know then that his…_reprimand_ had the desired effect on you."

He folded his arms. "I think you're a bit off colour, but you know how you feel."

I shrugged. "I don't feel great," I admitted. "But not bad enough not to come to class. I can handle it."

Snape continued to watch me closely, as if he somehow doubted I was alright. Finally, he nodded.

"Very well," he said, moving towards the door. "But if you get the faintest hint of feeling unwell during class I want you to inform me. Just don't mention that you do not feel well in class. If I give you any indication to leave, it will be a fake excuse and you are to return here immediately. It is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," I said. The pain was growing bigger. Damn paranoia.

Snape looked a bit put off for a second, but then his face returned to its usual unfathomable expression.

"In any case," he went on, "you are to return here immediately after classes today. I cannot clear you of any side effects to the potion until tomorrow morning, so you will have to spend another night here."

I didn't really want to. I already felt like I was intruding on his life enough. It was comforting to me that he got his own space away from me at school. All the same, I nodded. "Yes, sir."

Snape looked slightly annoyed now. I would be too. Poor guy, having to monitor side effects of his fifteen-year-old sister…

Again, Snape let his annoyance fade as quickly as it had come. "Of course, I cannot be in the same place as you all day, so if you begin to feel unwell, you can communicate to me using the chocolate frog card in the same way as last night."

"Yes, sir."

Snape glowered at me. "Is that all you can say, Armilla?" he said in a low tone I recognised as dangerous. What the hell had I done now?

At my confused look, he looked at the ceiling in annoyance.

"Tell me," he said in a clipped tone. "What did you call Merle?"

"Merle," I replied, my confusion growing as quickly as the tension between us. What was he going on about?

"Mm. Did you ever call her 'Ma'am?" Snape was glaring at me now.

"No, of course not," I said. Merle was…well, _Merle_.

Snape folded his arms. "And why is that?"

"Because I didn't _have_ to," I said indignantly.

"Mm." Snape arched an eyebrow, the annoyance still very clearly etched on his face.

Perhaps a little too late, though I guess I could put it down to the potion, I realised what Snape was annoyed about. More than anything else, I was surprised.

"Oh," I said, airily.

Snape scoffed. "_Oh_, indeed."

"You don't want me to call you _sir_?" I asked.

The annoyance finally faded from Snape's face. "You need to make a distinction between the times I am your teacher and the times when I am your guardian. You will call me Professor or sir when in class or in the presence of other students, but do you not think things will be more difficult if you continue to call me sir when we are just brother and sister?"

"It _is_ more difficult," I admitted. "But I didn't realise it bothered you that much." The truth was, I was astounded that Snape was annoyed. He always seemed to demand respect.

Snape nodded slightly. "If I can call you by your first name, you should be able to do the same."

"Alright, si-" I hastily stopped myself. "I mean, alright."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Come along, then. And remember what I told you about feeling unwell. We cannot afford any mishaps."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"You spent the night in _Snape's_ rooms?" Lisa looked horrified. "I didn't upset you _that_ much, did I?"

Terry had his mouth open in disbelief, which was not a pleasing sight as he had yet to swallow his mouthful of toast.

We were sitting in the Great Hall. Lisa and Terry had been sitting at the Ravenclaw table waiting for me when Snape and I had arrived, obviously having concluded that I wasn't in the Tower.

Snape had swept off to the staff table via the Slytherin table without a backwards glance and so I had made my way over to my friends. It hadn't really been a long way to the Great Hall from Snape's rooms. As it turned out, his quarters were located down another few corridors past his office, completely sealed by a portrait of Hortensia Kinchela, one of the early Heads of Slytherin. Snape had his quarters charmed not to admit anyone but himself, but once we left the sitting room, he had reworked the charm to allow me admittance as well. All I had to do was touch the head of the serpent at Hortensia's feet and the magic within would recognise my fingerprints. Snape had even been clever enough to have the serpent recognise Polyjuice or any dark magic.

"No, you didn't upset me," I replied. "I just had some issues to sort out with Snape and it couldn't wait till morning."

Lisa glared. "Secret, is it?"

I looked at Terry and smiled. "Well, we all have secrets, don't we?"

Terry went red and scowled at Lisa. "You don't have to know everything I do!" he said heatedly.

Lisa returned the scowl and then glowered at her cornflakes instead.

Terry rolled his eyes. "I should be allowed to socialise with whom I like," he continued in a matter-of-fact tone. "As close as I am to you two, why is it so wrong that I spend time with other people as well?"

I shrugged. "I'm not worried."

"It's not the fact that you're friends with other people," Lisa scoffed. "It's just that you have to be so secretive about it. Why can't you tell us what you have been doing? Why is it such a big secret?"

Terry opened his mouth and then closed it again. He looked sideways at me, as if weighing up something in his mind. "Sometimes it is in the best interests of everyone that they don't know everything about you," he said finally, not looking at either of us.

"You sound just like Armilla!" Lisa said, indignantly.

"Hey, you make that sound like a bad thing," I said, mocking offence.

Lisa stood up. "Fine, you two can have your secrets!" She turned at stormed out of the Great Hall, turning a few heads at the Ravenclaw table on the way. They looked surprised and it was no wonder. Dramatics generally wasn't a part of Lisa's disposition. She had always been so level-headed and rational about things. This sudden hysteria was completely out of character for her.

Terry continued to look interested in his toast, determined not to meet my eye.

"Oh relax," I snapped. I wasn't in the mood to talk things over; I really wasn't feeling good. "I'm not going to ask what you've been up to."

Terry visibly relaxed at once. He let out a breath and a small laugh.

"That girl has gone nuts lately," he said seriously. "I don't know what to make of her."

"She feels left out in the dark," I said. I took another bite of toast, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach that was growing bigger.

Terry looked thoughtful. "Maybe she's jealous. You've got this whole Snape-is-my-brother-and-my-father-is-alive fiasco going on and I've got my own…stuff going on. Lisa must feel left out."

"Yeah," I said softly. I gave Terry a significant look. "That could be one reason."

"What's the other?" Terry looked genuinely confused.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "You'll figure it out, Mr. Boot. Come on, we've got to go to Potions."

Terry looked hassled as he hastily got up too. "What do you mean – I'll figure it out? Figure what out exactly? What do you mean?"

I waited until we were in the Entrance Hall, walking towards the stairs leading back down to the dungeons.

"I won't spoil the fun of figuring things out for yourself," I said quietly. "But, I will say that I've never known Lisa to be jealous about whom you spend time with before."

Terry looked perplexed. "Well, erm…"

"There will be no more secretive talk today, then," I said. I thought a bit. "Well, I wonder if telling her that I'm staying at Snape's tonight counts under that."

Terry looked at me, clearly worried about this. "Is it bad, spending time with him?" he whispered.

"Not really," I answered. "We always have important things to discuss I suppose, so no really awkward moments have come up."

We joined the line of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws outside Snape's classroom. Lisa was at the front, determined not to look at either of us. It wasn't long before we heard footsteps behind us that announced Snape's arrival. His eyes flew up and down the line and all was quiet.

He opened his classroom door.

"In," he said.

We filed past him and settled at our usual desks. I sat towards the back in between Lisa and Terry. Lisa sat staring straight ahead.

The class was quiet as Snape made his way to the front of the room. His presence alone was enough to intimidate the class into silence.

"Today you will be creating Strengthening Solutions," he said, waving his wand towards the blackboard. The instructions appeared there.

"I trust that you have all had the sense to do the required readings. In any case, I shall know if you haven't." He cast a significant look to a few of the Hufflepuffs, who retreated lower on their stools.

"It is a complicated potion, but can be easily made by the disciplined mind, though I have lost all hope that certain members of this class will ever possess one."

More Hufflepuffs and a few Ravenclaws were looking scared now.

"Git," Lisa mumbled under her breath.

"Five points from Ravenclaw, Miss Turpin," Snape said, coldly. "You were not asked to speak."

Lisa went red. Generally I would have pitied her, like I pitied anyone under Snape's wrath. But I had the feeling Lisa had called Snape a git for my hearing more than his. In fact, I was certain that Snape hadn't even heard what Lisa had said. She would have gotten detention if he had.

"Begin," said Snape, waving his wand to open the storeroom door.

Lisa flounced off at once to the storeroom. I sighed.

"Forget about her," Terry mumbled. He went to collect ingredients while I lighted our cauldrons. I opened my textbook so I could have the instructions right next to me. Though I wasn't feeling that well, I wanted to prove to Snape that I could make a perfect potion, even if he didn't think I was up to it.

For half an hour, he didn't come near our table anyway, choosing to bully the Hufflepuffs instead. I completely ignored Lisa, and concentrated entirely on my potion, adding ingredients at exactly the right time and stirring at the right moment and in the right direction. It certainly wasn't the easiest potion, but I was determined to do it.

Snape passed by, but made no comment, which meant that the three of us were perfectly on task. I didn't even look up.

Another hour went by and my potion was definitely on the right track, the texture and colour the same as indicated in the book. I was beginning to feel a small sense of triumph, having nearly completed the potion perfectly. It meant more to me now than before when I didn't know Snape was my brother. For some reason, I felt as if I had to achieve for his benefit too.

It was easy to ignore Lisa, but it was definitely harder to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach, which was progressively growing worse. I needed to throw up, I knew that when Snape finally ordered the class to bottle their potions. My hand shook slightly as I filled my phial and labelled it. I kept swallowing deeply to keep everything down. Terry kept casting anxious looks at me. I supposed the pain must have been a delayed side effect to Snape's potion.

"You should have all left a sample of your potion on my desk now and be cleaning up," Snape said, returning to his desk to mark off the students who had done so.

"Go on," whispered Terry, who was still looking at me anxiously. "I'll clean your stuff up. Did you wreck your potion or something? You're very white."

I was the last to place my phial on Snape's desk. He didn't look up as I put it down. He only looked up as I turned away.

"Wait a moment."

He was staring at me, his black eyes fixed on mine. Immediately I put the steel arm up in my mind. I wasn't going to get accused of not practising.

Snape glared at me slightly. "I think you had better go see Miss Kinchela," he said, barely moving his lips.

I nodded. I was going to be sick. I walked as composedly as I could back to my desk and picked up my bag. I slipped out while the rest of the class were madly cleaning up.

Once out in the corridor, I broke into a run towards Hortensia's portrait. I touched the serpent's head, thankful that I didn't have to speak, and the portrait swung open to reveal the sitting room and at the same time the bell rang to indicate morning break.

I raced into my bedroom, dropping my bag next to the bed, and continued on to the bathroom.

I just made it. I had never been so violently sick. It was amazing how quickly that side effect had surfaced. I hadn't thought it would get that bad. Snape had known though. I supposed he had allowed me to attempt to prove myself.

I sat on the floor next to the toilet, thoroughly exhausted. I managed a small smile though, thinking of the perfect potion sitting on Snape's desk. It would have been nicer if I had survived right up until break.

I was just getting game enough to rise to go back into my bedroom when for the fifth time, I was sick again. When I finally sat back, I heard Snape come to stand in the doorway.

"Yes, I believe being violently sick _is_ a side effect," he said, silkily. "Do you _still_ think you should have come to Potions this morning?"

I nodded, wiping my forehead.

"I'd give you something to control it," he went on, "but it would not bode well with the potion I gave you last night. If luck is on your side, it should stop soon."

I looked up at him. There was something grim about his expression. Was he supposed to be feeling triumphant or was I? Technically, I hadn't survived the whole Potions class, which was clearly what Snape had predicted. But I had still handled making the potion, hadn't I?

Snape leaned against the doorframe, apparently happy to talk while I was in this state.

"I didn't know you planned to use Occlumency every time I looked at you," he said, folding his arms.

I opened my mouth to reply, but ended up being sick again. Snape, annoying as it was, stayed while I suffered. Being sick wasn't really something you wanted an audience for.

Finally, I sat back again. "You told me to practise," I said, my voice shallow. "I was ready."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "So you were," he replied.

"Are there any other side effects I should know about?" I asked, glaring at him. I felt so sick.

"Don't look at me like that," he snapped. "There are a number of side effects, but they differ according to the individual. Hopefully, this will be the only one you have."

"Hopefully," I muttered, reaching up to flush the toilet. The sick smell was embarrassing. So much for telling Terry that we didn't really have awkward moments…

"At least I didn't have to miss another Potions class," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"You nearly did," Snape replied, narrowing his eyes. "I was going to tell you to leave about halfway through, but you seemed so intent on proving yourself."

I looked up at him. He was looking at me, as if sizing me up.

"Well, I nearly made it," I said quietly.

"I know you did," Snape said softly.

From somewhere above, the bell sounded throughout the castle.

Feeling slightly better, I got up to get ready for Charms and History of Magic. At least I had two free periods in the afternoon. I passed Snape and went into the bedroom to pick up my bag. Snape followed.

"And where do you think you are going, might I ask?" he asked dangerously.

"To class," I said, innocently. "I'll make it."

Snape shook his head. "Oh no, you won't," he said, narrowing his eyes again. "You may have triumphed in making a perfect potion but this time your health decisions are being left to me." He glared at me. "You will remain here."

"But-" I didn't want to miss my classes. Yes, very Ravenclaw of me.

Snape put a hand up to stop me. "No, buts," he said firmly. "I'll have an easier time teaching if I know you're being sick here instead of elsewhere in the castle. I will collect your work for you."

I didn't reply as Snape walked to the door. I felt really downhearted though. He turned around in the doorway.

"I suggest you rest, Armilla," he said, softly. "I have no intentions of cancelling your extra lessons tonight so I expect to find you sleeping when I get back at lunchtime."

And with that, he left.

And I made another hurried trip to the bathroom.


	31. The Reply

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 30

I opened my eyes groggily when I heard the front door in the sitting room close. Snape was back. It must be lunchtime.

I groaned and rolled over, closing my eyes again. The bed was so warm I didn't want to get out.

I hated to admit it to myself, but Snape had been right. I definitely should have taken the morning off. I had spent another twenty minutes in the bathroom after Snape had left for classes.

I hated my father. The whole ordeal he put me through contradicted his letter anyway. He was adamant that I receive excellent grades in every subject. Well, that would get a bit harder to achieve when I was not allowed to go to classes due to side effects from a potion I took to heal injuries from a horrific punishment my father mailed to me! Stupid git.

When I had finally been brave enough to leave the bathroom, I was so exhausted that I hadn't bother to change or unroll the bed. I had just laid down under the bedspread and was out like a light.

Time couldn't have gone that quickly. I didn't want Snape to come back yet. I wanted another couple of hours sleep. That was wishful thinking though, as I soon heard his footsteps coming down the hallway.

I opened my eyes blearily as Snape strode into the room, his black robes billowing out behind him. He stood, looking down at me, his face inscrutable as always.

"Ah, nice to see you're not still in the bathroom," he said, dryly.

"Mm," I said, rubbing my eyes, trying to keep them open.

"I've left your school work out in the sitting room," he went on. He narrowed his eyes. "I can see it was a good decision to leave you here. I do not believe either Professor Flitwick or Professor Binns appreciate sleepy students throwing up in their classes." He smirked.

I resisted the sudden temptation to throw my pillow at him. Fine, rub it in. He _had_ to be right.

"I trust you're feeling better?" he asked, more serious now.

I shrugged as I sat up, pushing the bedspread away. "Alright, I suppose."

"Good." He moved forward and pulled the bedspread back all the way. He looked pointedly at my feet, or rather, my shoes.

"I'm not sure you quite understand how to sleep properly in a bed," he said in a mocking voice. "Why are you still wearing your shoes?"

"I was tired," I muttered. "My shoes were the last thing on my mind."

"Evidently," he sneered.

"It doesn't matter," I grumbled, getting up.

Snape walked towards the door. "Well you slept through lunch so you can have an early dinner instead. Something plain though; I don't want a repeat performance of those side effects you showed off this morning."

Ignoring his jibe, I swung round to see the clock. "It's not lunchtime?" How _long_ had I slept? Why hadn't Snape woken me?'

"It's four-thirty, Armilla," said Snape from the doorway. "I've had lunch _and_ taught four classes while you were sleeping. _I_ don't think you were as _fine_ as you thought."

I glared at him. "_Alright_," I said, heatedly. "_You_ were right."

Snape smirked. "Indeed." He beckoned to me, "Come and eat."

I followed him out into the sitting room and watched as he sat down at the table. I took the seat to the left of him, where there was a plate with a sandwich on it. I still didn't feel like food, but I began to eat anyway, preferring that than Snape's wrath.

Snape accioed a pile of parchments I recognised as the most recent fifth year Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff Potions essays towards him. He pulled a bottle of red ink and a quill towards him from the centre of the table and began marking.

We sat in silence, except for the feverish scratching of Snape's quill every now and then as he found something to criticise. Snape had left my school work on the table and I chose to go over it while Snape marked essays.

Finally, when he was about a quarter of the way through the class' work, Snape pushed it aside. He accioed a new sheet of parchment, opened up a black bottle of ink and handed me his quill.

"Time to reply to Father's letter," he said, menacingly, flexing his fingers as he spoke. He took Father's letter from his pocket and began to read it again.

I pulled the parchment towards me and looked expectantly at my brother.

Snape closed his eyes for a moment and grimaced. "I'm not a fan of the _Dear_," he said. He opened his eyes and looked at me. "But I suppose since you are a good daughter writing back to your _loving_ father, you should start _Dear_ Father."

I scratched out the first line.

Snape sighed, glaring up at the ceiling. When he looked back at me again, he frowned. "Alright," he said simply. "Let's do some serious lying."

Forty minutes later, we had finished. Snape had done most of the reciting, being quite eloquent as he had addressed different parts of Father's letter.

_Dear Father,_

_Thankyou for your recent letter and the money you sent me. I was quite pleased to hear from you._

_My true identity is indeed known by the whole school community now and I assure you that I will strive meet your requests to the best of my ability. I do not wish to disappoint you in any way._

_I apologise for being impolite to Draco Malfoy. I did not intend him to take such offence, and in future I will be sure to pay him the utter most kindness and courtesy whenever we come into contact._

_I am still receiving good grades in my classes and Severus has made it clear to me that he will not tolerate any falling grades either. I spend much of my spare time studying as I hope to achieve high marks in my O.W.L.S._

_Hoping you are well,_

"I know I've written a lot of lies," I said, looking up at Snape, "but I _don't_ want to write _your loving daughter_."

Snape stared at me, the smallest of smiles playing at his lips. "No," he said. "I wouldn't expect you to write _that_, even if we are writing some incredible falsehoods."

"Then I'll just sign my name," I said, writing my name at the end. I handed Snape the letter to read over.

He pursed his lips as he read through it, evidently finding much of its contents offensive. Finally, he folded and sealed it, nodding.

"It makes me angry reading it," he said, "so it ought to please Father."

He replaced the lids on the ink bottles and stood up, holding the letter. "I'll go and send this off now. I also have more marking to do when I get back. I suggest you work on your homework for now."

"Alright," I replied, picking up my school work. Snape left and I walked down the hallway, back to my bedroom.

The mahogany desk in my room was quite nice. Sitting down, I pulled open the drawers and was pleased to find them filled with spare parchment, ink and quills. Thankful that I wasn't very far behind on my homework, I worked steadily for an hour and a half. I had heard Snape return and I supposed he was doing his marking at the table again.

At about seven o'clock, Snape called me out into the sitting room again.

As soon as I set foot in the room, he had his wand out.

"_Legilimens_!"

Thrown off for a split second, I pushed the memory of Lisa calling Snape a git from my mind and immediately put the steel arm in place, concentrating on it hard.

I felt Snape pushing further, trying to pull my defence down. I countered it by putting more steel arms up, desperate to succeed. I didn't want Snape sneering at me. I was already tired though and it was taking an extraordinary amount of effort to keep the arms in place. Finally, Snape relented.

"Not bad," he said, "considering that I caught you off guard. Your friend would do well to remember her place though." Snape looked at me closely. "Though from the flash I saw, Miss Turpin seemed to be speaking only with the intention of being heard by you." He gave me a significant look.

I looked away. I didn't really want to discuss Lisa with him and I was sure Snape didn't give a damn about the troubles between fifth year Ravenclaw girls.

He didn't press the subject anyway.

"Right," he said, going into full lecture mode. "I am going to teach you one of the many Shield Charms. This charm in particular is effective because not only does it shield you from a curse or charm, it returns it two-fold to the caster."

"_Durendrius_," I said, more to myself than to Snape. I had remembered reading about it in one of the books Snape had given me.

Snape looked mildly surprised. "You have heard of it, I take it. Enlighten me then, what makes this Shield Charm stand out against the others?"

"The fact that the curse or charm is returned two-fold," I answered. "The impact is twice as hard and it takes twice as long to react once you have been hit with it."

Snape nodded, his black eyes glittering. "Very good."

I gave a small nod, feeling satisfied, but hoping my good fortune in remembering those particular details was not going to run out.

"You have memorised the wrist movement, stance and enunciation of the charm I trust?"

"I have." _Thankfully_.

"Very well," he said, raising his wand. "Let's try, shall we? Instead of using a _mental_ shield to stop my intrusion, you will use _Durendrius_. _Legilimens_!"

Instinctively, I put up the steel arm at strong as I could, simply out of habit. Snape broke the spell, looking displeased.

"Armilla, what did I just tell you to do?"

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Habit."

Snape nodded, looking calculating. "Well, I suppose I cannot complain when you are doing it out of habit. That could very well help you. But you cannot simply rely on a mental shield because it can be broken and you are not causing me a great deal of trouble by doing it. You can ward me off, certainly, but you are not distracting me in the least. Don't focus on your mind itself, focus on the exterior. Shield the exterior with your wand and repel me."

I nodded, raising my wand, staring fixedly at Snape.

He smirked. "You certainly look ready for an attack you're suppose to be _unaware_ of. Stop looking so pained. _Legilimens_!"

The room before me vanished. I was four; I was hiding under Merle's big bed, like I always did when I'd had a nightmare. I tried to push it from my mind. I concentrated on my wand and the spell I had to do. I saw Snape's figure come back into focus and I raised my wand.

"_Durendrius!"_

I felt a powerful surge and I suddenly saw a new image. Snape and my Father were standing alone in a hallway.

"_I have just as much right to her as you have," Snape snapped._

"_Ah, but I'm afraid she will not be in your company at all times, Severus," Father replied._

I felt another surge of power and everything went black again as I fell backwards.

The room came into focus again and I felt a bit dazed. Snape was standing near the table, looking just as composed as if I hadn't just broken into his mind. I was sitting on the floor near the sofa, having lost balance when Snape had finally broken the spell that had taken him twice as long to break.

I supposed the memory I had just witnessed occurred not long ago at the Ministry of Magic when Snape had gone to sign legal rights to me with our father. I got up, hoping Snape wasn't mad I had seen that memory. I found it quite unnerving. I wasn't looking forward to the day when I _would_ be alone in Father's company. I felt _safe_ with Snape.

"That wasn't too bad," Snape commented. "You reacted too slowly though." He folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Why were you under the bed?"

I blushed. "Nightmare."

He narrowed his eyes. "Ah," he said. "Wasn't about a blasted _puddle_ was it?"

I glared at him. "I had never dreamt about puddles until that one time," I said, feeling annoyed.

Snape ignored this, however. "Let's try again. Improve your reaction time. _Legilimens_!"

And so we went on for another hour. My reaction time improved slowly, but I still preferred using my mental charm. Though the shield charm was meant to take the other wizard twice as long to respond, I still found that Snape was fairly quick because without the charm he would be lightning fast anyway. I only saw flashes of memories after that, none that I could clearly make out. From what I did see, Snape's childhood certainly was troubled. It made me feel more troubled about seeing my father.

Finally, Snape pocketed his wand again. I kept mine out in case he was tricking me.

"Time for bed," he said firmly. "At least when you're down here I can make sure you go to bed at a reasonable hour. In any case, you need an early night."

It was still early, but I was too tired to argue. I highly doubted I would win anyway. I pocketed my wand as well and walked towards the hallway.

"Goodnight," I said, as I passed him.

"Goodnight," he replied, sitting down at the table and opening a new potions journal.

I was halfway down the hallway when he called me.

"Armilla?"

I stopped in the hallway.

"Yes, sir…I mean…Severus?" God, _that_ was going to take some getting used to.

There was a long pause, and then, "Don't forget to take your _shoes_ off when you get into bed."


	32. Burdens

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 31

With my own school timetable as well as extra lessons with Snape, the days seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, it was early December and though it was bitterly cold outside, there was a warming spirit within the castle as Christmas was approaching.

I was sorry to say that the spirit had done nothing to warm me at all. If anything, I felt colder than I ever had.

The last few weeks had gone by in a blur. I hadn't spent any more nights sleeping in Snape's quarters after the reaction to the potion, but I had spent some time down there practising defence charms when we weren't using his office. I had attained a whole new range of skills, some of which still needed improvement. Thankfully, I hadn't been bad enough to try Snape's patience too much.

Generally when we were alone, it was for extra lessons and so he was always in a 'business as usual' mood. I had gotten used to his company and I supposed he had to have gotten used to mine. Being in his company wasn't like it was in class though. We weren't affectionate with each other at all, but when we were alone, he tone wasn't so biting.

Privately, I thought his sarcasm was what kept him going, as he regularly used it, most especially when he was displeased or in a particularly bad mood. Before I had known he was my brother, I had thought him to always be in a bad mood. But as I continued to spend time with him, I came to recognise indications of his mood level. Sarcasm was present no matter what his mood, but if he was only using it to get me annoyed (like referring to puddle dreams) rather than take out his anger, I knew he wasn't in a bad mood.

Father had only sent back a brief reply to my letter, informing me that he accepted my apology and hoped for a rapid improvement in my decorum, especially whilst in the presence of those he considered important. When I had given the letter to Snape (who had requested I give him all letters I received from Father _and_ insisted we write all responses to him together) he sneered and mumbled something like "dim-witted fool" under his breath.

I had only come into face-to-face contact with Malfoy twice since receiving Father's letter. Both times I had said very little, but had been so polite it was sickening. Every time I saw Malfoy, I thought of the substance that had sprayed out at me from Father's letter and it took a lot of self-control not to curse the snotty-faced toerag.

I had made an agreement with Dumbledore to visit my mother on Sunday mornings, as long as I didn't need to spend any extra time with Snape. I liked visiting her without Snape because it didn't seem so forced and formal. I would often spend a couple of hours with her, laughing at stories of funny things she had done at school or basically anything that had happened before she was married. I noticed she was careful to avoid the painful topic of her married life. Likewise, I purposefully steered clear of any conversation involving going to stay with Father after Christmas.

The dread I felt about that was buried firmly at the pit of my stomach. I didn't talk to anyone about it, not Snape, not Dumbledore, not my friends, no one. On the days when I felt especially terrified about it, I was on my guard with the steel arm more than ever, for fear of Snape discovering the fact that I was fretting about it.

Though the prospect absolutely terrified me, I was determined to maintain a confident façade for Snape's sake. He had a lot more to deal with than I did. He had a crucial double-agent role, a demanding teaching role, a mentoring-Slytherins role and now a help-protect-sister-from-malicious-father role. So he had a lot on his plate.

Every now and then I couldn't help feeling guilty about having discovered the truth in the first place. I knew that was silly, but I couldn't help thinking that I had only added to the man's burdens. And the only feeling that I buried further in my stomach, below the feeling of being near my father, was the horrid feeling that if given the choice, Snape probably wished he _hadn't_ found out about me being his sister. Hadn't he said that he didn't want to 'play happy families'? We weren't exactly a happy family at the moment anyway, but sometimes I felt like I was another trouble in his life.

So I was resolved to keep to myself as much as possible, keeping my steel arm guard up and trying to remain only a small burden in Snape's eyes. It he had noticed my increased quietness or constant usage of the steel arm, he hadn't said anything about it and I was glad.

Lisa had taken another few days to become herself again, and had actually apologised to me for calling Snape a git. I didn't tell her that Snape had commented on it later. It was hard enough for both my friends to deal with being best friends with Snape's sister. Personally, I thought the improvement in Lisa's mood had come from increased attention from Terry, who seemed to spend any spare time by her side. I was glad for them both, being so happy in each other's company, but it constantly reminded me that I was restricted from having such attentions whilst still at school.

Another thing on my mind was Merle's death. When I was giving Lisa and Terry time together and was working by myself, my thoughts often drifted to her smiling face. Every time I saw it in my mind, I was hit with the thought that I would not be returning to her this year for Christmas. We wouldn't be sitting by the fire together with Matilda and her family on Christmas Eve. We wouldn't go shopping together for new clothes before going back to school. I wouldn't be falling asleep on her bed after staying up all night talking to her. She was gone. Sometimes I wouldn't even realise that my face was wet until I went to the bathroom and the mirror would tell me that I looked positively dreadful.

I knew it was childish to dwell on such things. I should be grateful that Merle was not in any pain. I did have someone to care for me after all. I just had trouble trying to convince myself that Snape didn't begrudge his new role _that_ much.

So, with worrying about Snape, my mother, my father and Merle, I didn't have spirits as high as others when December rolled around.

Thankfully, my marks hadn't dropped at all. If anything, they were better than ever. Some people ate a lot when they were stressed, some cleaned, some cooked and some took to screaming in rooms warded with silencing spells. The more stressed I was, the more I would study in an attempt to keep my mind off things. Suddenly I was getting an O in subjects I normally scraped Es in. I knew Snape was monitoring my marks, but I thought he assumed my higher marks were a result of an effort to keep Father's curses at bay. And I was glad to let him think that.

It was a Friday afternoon in the first week of December when I was suddenly hit with another, admittedly rather trivial trouble.

Terry, Lisa and I were in the common room, finishing off that week's homework and as we were piling our books back into our bags, the conversation turned to Christmas activities.

"I going home as usual," Terry said, yawning. "My gran and pop are coming this year, so Mum will have a grand old feast for us all. Dad's already hinted that he's been pricing a new broomstick for me!"

Terry was not the best flier in the world (and he still hadn't forgiven me for outdoing him as chaser in a friendly Quidditch game back in third year), but he certainly did love it.

"I'm going home too," said Lisa, zipping up her bag. "My brother and sister-in-law are coming home for Christmas and then we're going on holiday to Denmark until I have to come back to Hogwarts."

"Denmark?" said Terry. "Gee, you're lucky. I think I'm staying home the whole holidays."

They both looked at me.

"You're welcome at my place for Christmas you know, Mill," said Lisa.

"Mine too," said Terry. "But I somehow doubt Snape will let you out of his sight outside Hogwarts…I mean, until you have to go to your dad's place."

"Thanks," I said. "But I'm staying here for Christmas and I'm really grateful for that at the very least. I don't want to spend Christmas Day with my father."

"But it will be a bit lonely here all by yourself," said Lisa, looking concerned. "Are you sure Snape wouldn't let you come to my place?"

"I'm sure," I said. "He'll want to use any extra time to do last minute practice on everything he's taught me." I forced a smile. I really would have loved to go to Lisa's place. "I'll be fine," I said. "I'll restrict my studying since it is Christmas Day and just sleep in or something. Then I'll go down to the feast; there's meant to be a great Christmas feast on that Dumbledore hosts. I'll probably be so full that I'll just sleep the afternoon away and before I know it I'll be at my father's place."

Lisa nodded, biting her lip. Terry had taken to playing with the strap on his school bag, his face grim. I stooped down and zipped my own bag up, intending to take it up to my dorm.

"Hey, at least you have lovely presents from us to look forward to!" Lisa suddenly said, her eyes shining.

"Of course," said Terry, grinning. "Done your shopping yet?"

"Nope," I replied. "I haven't been to Hogsmeade. I missed the last weekend, remember?"

"Ah, so you did. Never mind, there's always Owl Order." Terry's eyes suddenly grew wide.

"Are you and Snape…er…exchanging…_gifts_ on Christmas Day?"

_Oh no_. I had been thinking about so many other things that Christmas and presents had been the last thing on my mind.

"Judging by how pale you've gone, I'd say clearly _not_," said Terry, looking quite uneasy.

"I have absolutely no idea!" I exclaimed. "What should I do? Get him something anyway? It's not as if I can go striding down to the dungeons and say 'Oy! Are you gonna give me a present?' I mean, we've only known that we're related for about six weeks."

"Well, are you two actually spending Christmas _together_?" asked Lisa. "You might only see each other at the feast and that will be that."

I shook my head. "I have no idea."

I hadn't actually entertained the thought of spending the entire day with Snape and quite frankly, I was sure he wouldn't want that either. Neither of us would be that comfortable. I couldn't even visualise a Christmas morning with Snape, opening presents and being cheery. As much as I respected the man, the Christmas season didn't seem to suit his persona.

"I think you should get him something just in case," said Terry, leaning back in his chair. "That way it won't be embarrassing if he _does_ get you something. If he doesn't, just put the present back in your trunk or something."

"Good idea," I said. It was then that the trivial trouble hit me. What on earth would I get for _Snape_?

Lisa laughed. "I don't even have to ask what you're thinking."

Terry shook his head, smiling. "I bet the question of what is a suitable present for Snape is harder than any O.W.L question you'll get."

I groaned.

"Why don't you get him a book?" Lisa suggested. "Something Potions related?"

"Well, he _is_ a Potions Master," I said thoughtfully. "He's like the best in the business. I daresay he already has every book worth buying and what's more, he already knows just about everything there is to know. He might even find it offensive."

"What he would find even more offensive," Terry said, smirking, "is a book on Defence against the Dark Arts or something like that."

"Oh, he would _not_ like that," I said quickly.

Lisa suddenly started laughing.

"_What_?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Sorry, Mill," she said, giggling. "I was just thinking what his face would look like if you gave him something funny."

I glared at her. "Something _we_ would find funny or something _he_ would find funny?"

"Oh, _us_," she said. "I'm not serious, of course. But wouldn't it be funny if you gave him a book entitled _You and your wellbeing: How to get the best out of Vitamin D_?"

I laughed, trying to imagine Snape's face if I did do something like that.

"Vitamin D?" said Terry, looking at Lisa.

"The sun, you dolt!" she laughed, taking his hand.

Terry grinned. "How about a year's subscription to _The Quibbler_?"

"Oh _that_ would be money well spent," I retorted, sarcastically.

"Do you _have_ any money?" asked Terry. "Or do you have to ask _Snape_ for money?"

"Actually, I have some money in my trunk," I replied. "Merle would always give me a fair bit at the beginning of the school year." I shuddered. "I don't feel comfortable enough yet to ask for money from Snape. I'm only just getting used to calling him by his first name."

"I don't know how you can call him Severus and not have your voice shake," said Terry.

"It's scarier if we're alone together and I call him Professor or sir," I said, smiling. "I still accidentally do that sometimes and the look he gives me gets worse each time."

"Well, we'll have to think about his present," said Lisa, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

I got up too. "I wonder if…" I trailed off, suddenly hit by another terrible thought.

"What?" they asked, looking concerned.

"My father," I whispered. "Will I have to get _him_ a present?"

Terry and Lisa exchanged looks.

"I'd say so," said Lisa.

"But at least you can use that to find out more about present giving in the Snape family," Terry pointed out. "You can ask Snape if you're supposed to get your dad a present and he might help you select something if you do."

"I suppose…" I said slowly, walking towards the stairs leading up to the dorms. What a _joy_ this Christmas was going to be.

A few hours later I was to be found in Snape's sitting room once again practising Occlumency, various hexes and defence spells Snape had been teaching me. By this stage, I had become fairly adept at non-verbal magic. Snape had started teaching me how to do it a few weeks back and we had devoted a couple of hours to it each week. I wasn't supposed to learn it until sixth year, but my brother had decided that knowing how to do it would certainly be an advantage.

I was feeling pretty worn out; Snape had been relentless in throwing jinxes at me and I had certainly had a thorough workout defending myself. He had managed to hit me three times and when we finally stopped, he insisted that I heal the scorch marks and bruises myself with the healing charms he had taught me.

I sat down on the sofa, tracing my wand over one of the marks, muttering an incantation to heal it. Snape sat down next to me, watching closely. When I had finally finished all three, he nodded.

"Not bad," he said. "Your enunciation needs practice though. You will find the wounds heal quicker when you place the right emphasis on certain words."

I nodded.

He leaned back. "You've done well to have thoroughly learnt all the spells I have taught you in the past few weeks. The more prepared you are, the easier your time will be with Father."

I turned slightly to look at him. "Do you think I'm ready?" I asked, quietly.

Snape stared back at me, his black eyes merely empty tunnels. He considered me a moment before speaking.

"I'm not entirely sure," he said finally. "You now possess the knowledge and skills required to live with him on a day-to-day basis. I am no longer worried about _that_."

He continued to stare at me, as if waiting for me to fill in the blanks. When I said nothing, he sighed.

"Do you feel you are ready on an _emotional_ level?" he asked.

I hadn't expected to be asked _that_. True, with new Occlumency skills I was getting better at shutting down my emotions. I hadn't been really emotional in front of Snape. I had cried about Merle recently, but only because I had let myself. I knew I was able to stop myself if I wanted to. I knew going to stay with my father was not going to be a pleasant experience, but I had been mentally preparing myself for it. I was going to shut down my emotions for the duration of the visit. I had been practising that for awhile.

"I think so," I answered, looking him in the eye.

Snape didn't look satisfied.

"Sometimes controlling emotions can seem harder than learning the most difficult spells," he went on, scrutinising me closely.

I nodded. "I know," I said quietly. Wanting to change the subject, I addressed the issue of Christmas instead.

"What day will I have to go there?" I asked.

Snape narrowed his eyes for a moment. I supposed he was annoyed that I so readily moved away from an issue he had initiated.

"The twenty-sixth," he replied shortly. "I'm going to take you there around midday. He wanted you to stay there until school resumes…"

I opened my mouth in horror. _What?_ _No way_.

Snape waved a hand aside. "However, I insisted you have studying to do before school resumes and you need access to resources at Hogwarts."

Phew. My heart rate slowed a bit. Yeah, my shutting down emotions thing did need some more practice_. Got to stay calm at ALL times_.

"Therefore, I will come back for you on New Year's Day."

"Alright," I said, softly.

Snape folded his arms. "You will not be cut off from me the entire time you are there," he said. "You will take the chocolate frog card with you and communicate to me using that. I'm sure your non-verbal skills will be an advantage there. Just make sure you do it late at night when Father has gone to bed. He does like to go to bed early."

"Ok," I said. _That_ was a relief.

"And if worse comes to worse," Snape went on, indifferently, "I trust you are still wearing that pearl I gave you?"

I pulled the fine chain around my neck from under my robes to show my brother the small white pearl.

He glanced at it and nodded.

"Very well. Is there anything else?"

I had opened my mouth to say something about Christmas. But I wasn't sure how to start.

"What is it that is so hard to say?" he scoffed. He gave me a significant look. "Come, out with it at once."

"If I'm going to Father's house directly after Christmas," I began slowly. "Will he be expecting some sort of…"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Some sort of _what_ exactly?"

"Some sort of _gift_," I said quickly.

He looked away. "Oh."

"I don't want to be accused of not doing the _right thing_ by him," I said bitterly, thinking of that horrid letter.

Snape grimaced. "No," he said. He looked thoughtful. "You will have to get him something, I agree, loathed as I am to_ give_ him anything at all."

"I wouldn't know what to get him," I said pointedly.

He nodded. "Leave it with me," he said. "I'll think about it."

Inwardly I groaned. I had just added another thing to the man's 'to do' list.

"Thankyou," I said, getting up to leave.

"Sit!" he snapped.

I sat quickly, shocked at the sudden harshness in his voice.

"I have yet to finish discussing your readiness for staying with Father," he said in a dangerous voice. "Your emotional wellbeing is not a topic I wish to avoid as I regard it as being pivotal to the outcome of the visit. You will stay here and discuss it with me until I am satisfied."

I swallowed. Gee, he got ridiculously angry at the drop of a hat. I made a mental note not to change the subject on him in future.

"How can you be sure that you have enough control over your emotions?" he asked.

"I…" I wasn't really sure how to answer that to Snape's satisfaction. Just telling him I shut them down wouldn't be good enough.

'Yes?' he said curtly.

"I just do my best to push all emotions away," I said finally, wondering exactly how feeble that sounded.

"So when they come too close to the surface, how do you push them away?" he asked sharply.

"Occlumency," I replied simply. "The mental shield. It's been working for me."

Snape glowered at me. "Indeed it has," he snapped. "Tell me, is it your clever plan to permanently shut down all your emotions? Are you going to keep everything below the surface?"

"I suppose so," I replied.

He looked angrier. "And do you not think that will have serious long-term effects, Armilla?"

I stared at him. Long-term effects? I didn't want to think about long-term anything right now. At the moment, it was enough to concentrate on day-to-day living.

When I said nothing, Snape let out a heavy sigh, as if willing himself to stay patient.

"Is it your plan to discipline your mind to shut down your emotions to everyone, or just the people who matter?" He was glaring at me, his eyes narrowed. All I wanted was to be out of his sight and to stop making him so angry.

"I haven't decided. If I keep my emotions near the surface for my friends, it might weaken my chances of successfully shutting down my emotions to Father."

Snape considered this, looking directly in front of him. After a moment, he looked back at me again. "A valid point," he admitted. "However, if you insist on permanently burying your emotions the long-term consequences may be severe. You could burn yourself out. You cannot keep everything to yourself in this situation."

"You do it!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Snape didn't even blink. "I certainly do _not_," he said. "I have disciplined my mind well enough to shut down my emotions to some people and reveal them for others. I knew long ago that it would not be beneficial, least of all for myself, to keep everything inside. This is an important lesson you must learn."

I bit my bottom lip, concentrating hard on the steel arm. If I didn't, I risked those blasted tears surfacing – they had been so close lately when I had been thinking of Merle.

"You will therefore need to draw a distinction between the times you shut down your emotions and the times you do _not_," said Snape, his look calculating.

I nodded. _Steel arm. Steel arm._

"I trust that you will easily decide not to shut down your emotions for your friends or the Headmaster?"

I nodded again.

"And you will shut them down for Father, the Malfoys, the Slytherins and any other visitors to Father's house?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"And what about _me_?"

I blinked.

Snape regarded me closely. "Do you intend to continue shutting me off from your emotions?"

"I don't shut you off," I replied meekly. _Steel arm. Steel arm._

"_Oh, no_?" he snapped.

I shook my head.

"Then why do you constantly occlude in front of me?"

"I practise," I said. "In case you catch me off-guard."

He sneered. "And that is the only reason?"

"I don't like you looking inside my mind to find out how I feel," I blurted out again. The steel arm started to waver and I quickly focused on it again to make it strong.

Snape folded his arms, glowering at me. "Did I not tell you a while back that I preferred you to talk about something rather than keep it inside?"

"Yes."

"And did I not tell you that things become bigger in the mind if they are not put out in the open?" His voice was becoming dangerously quiet.

"Yes."

"Then I would not _need_ to resort to Legilimency to find out what is going on, child!" he said harshly. "I do not expect you to take all these past events in your stride and discuss your fears with no one! Why are you so against speaking about your problems with me?"

I shuddered, trying my best to keep the steel arm in view.

"Answer me!"

"Because you've got enough to do without listening to my problems as well!" I exclaimed, my voice wavering slightly.

Snape stared at me, his face calm.

"_I_ will be the judge of that," he whispered.

"I…_I just…_"

"Yes?" He narrowed his eyes again.

"I don't want to be a bigger burden to you than I already am," I said finally.

"_Burden_?" he repeated.

I nodded.

He suddenly had a harsh expression on his face and it was all I could do not to squirm under his gaze.

"Armilla, you listen very carefully to me right now for I do _not_ ever wish to repeat it. Look at me." Snape was a serious man, but I had never heard his voice be as serious as it was now.

"A burden is something that causes a great deal of worry and stress and at times, a lot of hard work. A burden is something you wish to be rid of. The Dark Lord is a burden to me. The Death Eaters are a burden to me. My father is a burden to me. At times my job and certain students here are a burden to me. It is certainly true that you cause me worry and stress, but that it no different to any other guardian worrying about a child. However, you would only be a burden if I wished to be rid of you."

I bit my lip.

"I thought at this stage of my life, with all the experiences I have had, _nothing_ could surprise me. And so when I found out about you, to say I was _shocked_ would be a considerable understatement. In all honesty, having a child in my life was never something I happily planned for because I would be the first to say that I am not the _fatherly_ type." He paused, sneering.

"I did not fight for custody of you to _just_ to spite my father. Oh, yes, I _did_ dearly want to take that away from him. I also did it to protect you from being at the hands of such a loathsome fool. I did doubt my abilities in being your guardian, which is why it would seem I did not want custody of you in the first place. But if Father was not here and I was given the option today of giving you to someone else…" He paused again, looking down his hooked nose at me.

I bit my lip harder.

"I would _not_," he said. "And for_ that_ reason, Armilla," he said, his voice harsh once again, "you are never, _ever_ to imply again that you are a burden. I do not wish to be _rid_ of you and that fact alone contradicts the whole notion of _burden_. Is that clear enough for you?" He was glaring at me again now.

"Yes," I whispered.

He nodded. "Very well. You may leave."

I didn't need telling twice. Once I was a few hallways from Snape's quarters, I broke into a run. I didn't know why, but I needed to run. The steel arm in my mind was breaking down and all I wanted was my bed in my dorm.

I hastily said the password to the common room and I sprinted past the chattering students, not stopping to check if Lisa and Terry were among them. Once inside my dorm, I flung myself on my bed, drew the curtains around me and cast a silencing charm around my bed.

And for the first time in weeks, I cried. Not just a few tears like I had been shedding lately. I cried for Merle. I cried for my mother. I shuddered and wept for everything that had happened in the past six weeks, the good and the bad. I just poured out everything that I had shut down. I thought of Snape down in the dungeons. He had spoken so harshly, yet his words had comforted me in a way I had never thought possible. And yet I still had not managed to take down the steel arm for his sake. I had waited until I was alone as usual. As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered if he had let me go because he knew I would come up here to cry.


	33. A Change of Plans

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 32

I awoke early on Saturday morning with a terrible headache from crying the night before. Thinking back to the previous night, I groaned inwardly when I remembered that I had owned up to Snape about thinking I was a burden. I felt embarrassed that Snape had had to reassure me (in his usual blunt manner) that I wasn't an inconvenience that he had to put up with. The last thing I wanted was to come across to him as a needy child in want of love and affection. I certainly wasn't looking for either from him and I knew anyway that I certainly would _not_ be getting either love or affection from him. We both knew he wasn't that kind of guy. But he gave me security and that was enough.

For now, I knew I could get love and affection from my mother. Though I had known her for a short space of time and still only saw her on a weekly basis, I had developed a strong bond with her. She loved to laugh so much that for hours on end she could make me forget all my troubles. Every time I visited her, there were no strict formalities or codes of etiquette that I feared I would have to abide by in my father's home.

My mother seemed so laid back and so ladylike at the same time. I thought she was beautiful in every way. Sometimes I wondered how she could be this way after having suffered for so many years as the wife of Aurelius Snape. Though she didn't talk about her husband when I visited, one time she started talking about her joy of having her son. She didn't go into the details about Aurelius' treatment of Snape, but she would utter little statements every now and then detailing how much she loved her son and how happy he had made her. Once, she muttered something about Snape growing more unhappy as he got older, and her despair in helping him, but I concluded from the information I had that my mother wouldn't have survived her husband if it hadn't been for having a child in her life.

I hadn't asked Snape about his relationship with his mother. Sometimes I wondered if he went to visit her in Dumbledore's office as well. I knew he went to Dumbledore's office on a regular basis on Order business and for staff related issues, so he couldn't avoid her altogether. If he did talk to her, Mother never mentioned it.

Though it was only six-thirty in the morning, I got up and showered. Lisa wouldn't get up for a couple of hours and I was quite happy to have some time alone. After dressing, I made my way to the Great Hall to get some breakfast to take back to the common room. The castle corridors were draughty and deserted. The only people in the Great Hall were the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff Quidditch teams, up early for a quick practice before their match began later in the morning. I nodded briefly at my House's team, grabbed some toast and coffee and headed back to the common room.

Twenty minutes later, after drinking and eating and avoiding looking at the small print of my textbooks, my headache was _still_ there. Generally I would have gone to Madam Pomfrey for a draught, as many students, especially fifth and seventh years, went to her all the time for headaches. But Umbridge was keeping track of _everyone_ who visited the hospital wing and Snape had specifically told me not to go there without seeing _him_ first. I had concluded a while ago that I would probably never go to the hospital wing again because Snape was a Potions Master _and_ was skilled in Healing. The problem was that Madam Pomfrey had seen so many students over the years that she rarely bothered to ask questions anymore - but Snape _would_ ask questions. He never did anything without a reason. If I went to Snape for a headache draught, I would want to put up the steel arm so he wouldn't find out that I went to my dorm to cry last night. Then he would be angry that I was occluding in front of him again. And _then_ I became paranoid that Snape probably _knew_ I left so quickly because I wanted to cry – and not in front of him…Gee, no wonder I had a headache…

I had finished my homework the previous afternoon and the last thing I felt like with a headache was doing more studying. What I really wanted was to go and see Mother. I knew her company would make me happy. But Dumbledore was an extremely busy wizard and I knew he was being courteous enough to give me free reign of his office on Sunday mornings – I didn't want to bombard him now as well just because I was feeling low.

Suddenly getting an idea (and rolling my eyes at myself for not having thought of it before) I pulled the chocolate frog card from my robes and pointed my wand at it. I managed to transform the card into the textbooks using non-verbal magic. I flipped to the back of _Defence against the Darkest Magic_ to scan the index for headaches. I knew it seemed odd to be looking for information on headaches in a Defence against the Dark Arts book, but I had remembered reading a section on curse and counter-curse experiments which had given a page reference for dealing with side effects. Sure enough, I found headaches listed under _Side Effects_. I quickly flipped to the indicated page, excitement growing inside me as well as a desperate hope that I would be able to cure myself without having to go to my brother.

_Headaches_

_A very common side effect of a number of curses and counter-curses (as well as the strain of attempting a number of these spells)_

_Listed below are a number of possible solutions. Potions are generally the most reliable remedy for headaches, though a number of charms have also proven effective for the right case._

I scanned down the page, seeing about a dozen potions listed, each varied according to the circumstances in which the headache was obtained or alternative potions in case the witch or wizard was allergic to certain ingredients. I didn't want to make a potion. That would certainly cause a fair bit of attention in the common room, especially because I was the Potion Master's sister. Instead I searched for a charm I could use on myself. There were about twenty-five listed, but most of them were to be used only after using certain curses or someone else had to perform it on you. I knew neither Lisa nor Terry would consent to pointing their wands at me and performing a charm neither of them had used before.

My head pounded as I concentrated on the small print in front of me. When I was just about ready to give up I saw what I had been looking for.

_The Sereniprius Charm_

_Do you have a headache just from the strain from reading this book?_

_Do you feel overtired or worn out from a heavy workload?_

_The Sereniprius Charm is effective against the common headache and does not need to be performed by another witch or wizard. This powerful charm soothes the mind without causing drowsiness._

_To perform the charm:_

_Point your wand at your temple and enunciate Serenio (Sir-Ren-eo)_

_The charm will last according to the skill of the witch or wizard and the headache may reappear with lesser impact once it has worn off. Of course, potions are more effective._

_For further assistance, contact your Healer._

I read it over four times. It was risky. But I had tried new charms out before that I hadn't learnt in class. Though admittedly, I hadn't pointed my wand at myself when trying a new charm. I was nervous about pointing my wand at my head. If I faltered at all, I could cause myself damage.

If I had been a Gryffindor, I may have attempted it. But my Ravenclaw reasoning skills won over in the end. I certainly didn't have the nerve (or stupidity in this case) to point my wand at my own head, no matter how determined I was to heal myself without Snape's assistance. And if Snape ever found out…I didn't want to think about the consequences.

For a moment I leaned back in my armchair and wondered why I had even bothered looking for a headache charm if I didn't have the intention of performing it on myself.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. I sat there like that for a few minutes, completely lost in thought, a state I constantly fell into these days. When I opened my eyes, I closed the book in my lap and charmed the books back into the chocolate frog card. I was about to put the card back into my pocket when I noticed the wizard waving to me. That was interesting. I was supposed to meet Snape that afternoon for our lesson and I already knew the time and place.

Curious, I pressed my index finger against the wizard's name so the message could be revealed. I had grown used to this form of communication now and I was able to reply to Snape non-verbally.

_We will no longer be having your lesson down in my quarters this afternoon. There has been a change of plans._

My eyes widened. A change of plans? My stomach gripped tightly. Maybe Snape had Death Eater engagements this weekend. I didn't like thinking about Snape's life as a spy. I concentrated on my reply and waited a split second for it to appear on the card.

_Okay. Do you want me to come tomorrow instead or wait until Tuesday night?_

I waited a few seconds. A moment later, I had a response.

_No, I haven't cancelled your lesson. I have merely changed the location. I trust you were planning on watching Ravenclaw play Quidditch today?_

Quidditch? Why would he care about that?

_No, I don't feel like watching Quidditch._

_Well that's not very loyal of you…but it certainly suits my plans. Have you any homework to complete this weekend?_

_No, I finished it yesterday._

_You have made no other plans this weekend?_

_Only one to visit Mother tomorrow morning._

_I will arrange for you to see her tomorrow night._

_Won't I be here tomorrow morning?_

_No, you won't. I'd rather see you in person. Pack some clothes and anything else you may need for the weekend and leave your bag in your closet. You can retrieve it from the armoire in your bedroom down here. I'll see you in twenty minutes._

What the? Where were we going? Oh God, I hoped it wasn't to my father's place again. I was dreading December the twenty-sixth already.

Feeling really nervous and trying to ignore my headache, I quickly went back upstairs to pack some things. It was only seven-thirty and the others were asleep. I found a bag and quickly packed some stuff for the weekend – which was hard because I didn't know where I was going. I hated it when Snape was being secretive.

Leaving my bag in the closet like Snape had instructed, I went over to Lisa's bed and shook her.

"Leave me 'lone," she mumbled, rolling over. "S'early. Still sleeping."

I shook her. No response. I kept shaking until she finally rolled back and pushed me away. She was _not_ a morning person.

"Whadda you want?" she murmured, opening an eye to glare at me.

"Just to tell you that I'll see you tomorrow night," I snapped. "I could have gone and not bothered telling you of course if you so badly want to sleep. Just don't blame me for not telling you things."

"Fine, fine. I'm awake." She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't have much information," I whispered. "I don't know where I'm going. All I know is that I'm not going to be here for the weekend. I've got to go and meet Snape now."

Lisa looked shocked, and a little worried. "I wonder where he's taking you. Are you sure you'll be alright Mill?"

"I'll be fine," I said hastily. "He's my guardian, not my kidnapper, Lisa."

Lisa gave a small smile. "I know," she said meekly. "He's just so…"

"What?"

"Mean," she said simply.

I smiled too as I leaned forward to hug her.

"See you tomorrow night."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Ah, there you are," said Snape, coming down the hallway as I stepped into his rooms. "Ready to go?"

"I suppose," I said. "Go where?"

He smirked. "Worried are you?"

"No."

"You'll see then. Go and put your cloak on and get your bag."

Why all the secrecy? The man seemed to love taunting me with his all-knowing air. I went into my bedroom and fetched what I needed. When I came back to the sitting room Snape had his cloak on as well and looked ready to leave. He held out his hand for my bag. I gave it to him and watched as he shrank it and put it in his pocket.

I moved towards the door, thinking it was time to go. I was held back as a hand grabbed my left wrist. I felt a sudden warm sensation through my body and I realised that Snape's hand had touched my bracelet. We looked at each other for a moment. The last time we had felt that had been back in the Wing on the day Snape found out I was his sister. I would have bet that Snape was also thinking about that moment. He had seemed so angry that day…

Snape abruptly let go and fixed me with a stern expression. Though I was tempted, I left the steel arm down.

"Before we leave, I would like to know if you are alright this morning. I was not left with the impression that you were last night."

I felt myself going red. Did he _like_ making me feel embarrassed?

"Yes, I'm fine," I said quietly.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm asking you honestly, Armilla. I have not used Legilimency at all and I require an honest answer. Remember what we talked about last night?"

I nodded. How could I forget?

"I'm only suspicious," he continued, "because you said you didn't _feel_ like going to the Quidditch game. I thought you generally supported your House at the games."

"I do," I said. "I have a bit of a headache, that's all."

Snape nodded. "Ah." He didn't look at all surprised. "Well, for future reference, when I ask after your health, having a headache doesn't qualify under _fine_."

I nodded. "Okay." I felt like an idiot.

Snape swept off in the other direction. "Come."

I followed him down the hall and into a room that seemed to be both an office and a lab. It was very similar to Snape's bigger office, but I had the feeling more secretive things were made down here.

I stood in the doorway while he unlocked a store cupboard. He took out a small phial containing a light green liquid and then locked it again. Uncorking it, he held it out to me.

I took it and drank, thinking back to my time in the Secret Wing when Snape had to give me all those healing potions. My headache vanished instantly.

"Time to go then," said Snape, taking the phial and putting it in another cupboard.

I followed him out of his rooms and fell into step beside him through the freezing dungeon corridors. There still weren't many people about and we managed to get all the way to the front gates of the school with only seeing the Quidditch teams off in the distance.

Snape didn't speak the whole way and I was happy to remain silent. Once we were a fair distance from Hogwarts, he stopped and turned to face me.

"We're going to Apparate," he said.

I opened my mouth to point out that I couldn't, but then realised that Snape would know that of course.

He took my left hand. "I will Apparate both of us," he said. "You must hold on very tightly or there could be disastrous results. I don't wish to leave half of you behind."

Alarmed, I subconsciously gripped his hand harder. Leave _half my body_ behind? _Ew_.

He smirked. "Alright, then," he said. "Let's go."

I was suddenly surrounded in darkness. I felt an extraordinary amount of pressure against my body and in my panic I went to place my free hand with my other one in Snape's hand. But his other free hand caught it first and gripped it hard.

_Thump!_ Our feet hit the ground hard and I was sure I would have ended up on the ground if Snape hadn't been holding on to me. We were in a small clearing in a forest. There was a lot of light and I knew we weren't far from the edge.

As soon as I was steady, Snape let go and beckoned me to keep up.

"How did you find your first time Apparating?"

"I didn't like it," I replied.

"You'll learn how to do it in Sixth Year. Though you'll have to wait a while to get your license since your birthday's in June."

"Do many people leave body parts behind?"

He gave me a grim smile. "A few," he answered. "Though in my experience, those who already possess a disciplined mind and know how to focus generally do well." He gave me a pointed look and I was reminded that expectations were always high.

We walked on until we reached a winding narrow road. At the side of the road, a closed carriage was waiting with a Thestral.

Now I _was_ intrigued. Where were we going that you couldn't Apparate, Floo or Port-Key to?

Snape, as expected, offered no explanation. He opened the carriage door and beckoned for me to get in. He climbed in beside me and soon the carriage was bumping along the winding road through the countryside.

"Won't the Slytherins notice that you're not at Hogwarts?" I asked suddenly, after staring through the window for a few minutes.

"They will be fine," he replied. "The staff at Hogwarts is allocated weekends off throughout the school year. Obviously, it's my turn this weekend."

"Didn't Umbridge ask questions about you taking me?"

"She doesn't know I'm gone," said Snape simply. "And she doesn't know that _you're_ gone either. Too bad for her if she _does_ find out. Only Dumbledore and Flitwick know that we left."

"Are you going to tell me _where_ we're going?"

"No."

Feeling frustrated, I looked out the window again.

"But we're about to go round a bend up ahead," he said, leaning over slightly so he could see out my window. "_Then_ you'll see."

I gave him an inquisitive look, but turned back to the window nonetheless.

Finally, the bend in the road came up and the carriage turned. Instead of looking at a bunch of trees, I suddenly had a more impressive sight.

There, off in the distance, was a huge grey house. It had loads of long windows and an elegant, grand entrance. It was completely isolated; I supposed the owner also possessed all the land we had been travelling on. It was certainly a beautiful house with well kept gardens. It seemed to give off a distinguished elegance and I couldn't help being impressed.

"What do you think?" asked Snape.

"It's wonderful," I replied softly, turning back to him. "Who lives there?"

He sneered. "_We_ live there."

_Whoa!_ I turned back to the house. The carriage was slowing down now. We were nearly there.

'We live _there_?'

"Indeed," Snape scoffed. "The Merrigan Estate. Welcome home."


	34. The Merrigan Estate

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 33

_Welcome Home._ Snape's manner was completely nonchalant when he said those words, yet all the same they managed to send a tingling sensation through my body.

I was looking at _my_ _home_. When I had been at my father's house, I didn't stop for a moment to think that it was one of my homes. My father shared custody of me with Snape, but because I saw more of my brother, I had come to view him as my sole guardian. Underneath of course, it was my desire to have Snape as my sole guardian so I could have nothing to do with my father. It would certainly have been less stress for Snape if things had been arranged that way. He wouldn't have had to give up so much of his time to teach me all the skills I required for living with my father.

On the other hand, if things hadn't been this way, I wouldn't have seen much of Snape at all. He would have stayed in his dungeons and I would have stayed in Ravenclaw Tower and we would have only seen each other during Potions. I _never_ went down to the dungeons unless I had a lesson with my brother…we _never_ organised _social_ visits. I wondered briefly what things would be like if my father suddenly vanished off the face of the earth. Snape had said only the night before that he would _not_ give me up. But would we continue on with our lives on separate paths, only crossing when necessary, like at the moment because Snape had to teach me how to survive my father? In some sort of disturbing, twisted way, my father's horrid and abusive disposition was bringing Snape and I closer together.

I hadn't thought that Snape was one for surprises. I had supposed he wasn't telling me where we were going due to some sort of security precaution. But now it was clear that he had intended for me to see the house for myself and give an opinion before he told me it was ours.

_Ours_. It wasn't "I live there. That's my house and I've allocated you a bedroom." Snape had directly used the word "we" and to me, _that_ made all the difference in the world.

The carriage went through an archway and came to a halt inside a square courtyard which the house was built around. Before I could open the door, it swung open to reveal the very excited face of a house elf.

"Master Severus!" the creature squeaked. "Docky is happy to be seeing you, sir! But Docky was not expecting you, sir. Docky heard the carriage coming and was very surprised, sir." The elf was hopping from one foot to the other in a mixture of excitement and nerves.

Snape shook his head in irritation and gave me a small push to climb down from the carriage.

The elf's already massive eyes grew even wider as he turned his pointed face to me. He gave a deep bow and his nose brushed the pavement.

"Master Severus. Docky is not used to you having guests. Docky does not know your lady friend, sir."

"She is _not_ my lady friend, Docky," Snape growled, as he climbed down to stand beside me.

I fought back an urge to laugh.

"This is Armilla, Docky," Snape continued, glaring down at the house elf. "She is my sister."

Docky straightened up, his mouth hanging open. "Your sister?" he squeaked. "Forgive my ignorance, Master Severus, but Docky did not know that Miss Hazel had a daughter."

I smiled. The elf must have served the Merrigan family for years. It was strange to hear the elf refer to my mother as "Miss Hazel."

"I did not know either, until recently," said Snape in an offhand way. "But circumstances have changed, Docky. I now share custody of Armilla with my father and so you will be seeing a lot more of her here during the summer, when she is not with Father."

Docky gave me a broad smile. "Docky is happy to be meeting you, Miss Armilla," he said. He turned to Snape. "And may Docky say, Master Severus, that Miss Armilla is beautiful like her mother?"

"Well you just did," Snape scoffed, glancing sideways as me. "As pleasant as this conversation is, Docky," he said, sneering, "it is cold out here and I would like to take Armilla inside."

Docky bowed again. "Oh, certainly, sir," he said.

"Come, then," said Snape, brushing past me to walk up the steps to the front door. I followed, staring up at the many windows above me. There must have been about a hundred rooms in this place.

Docky bounded up the steps behind me, taking them two at a time.

"Decorum, Docky," said Snape, without bothering to turn around. Docky immediately returned to the bottom of the stairs and began to walk up them properly. Docky was probably a lot older than Snape, but it was evident Docky held no resentment in having Snape for a master.

I followed Snape through the doorway and into a wide hallway. Snape turned left and we walked down the hallway into a larger hall. There were many doors leading off this hall, but I didn't pay them a great deal of attention. The grand staircase took my notice before anything else. It was quite wide, and it curved so that the top was on the other side of the hall. Looking up, I saw that this hall had no rooms directly above it. The banister upstairs stretched around the perimeter of the hall so that I could see more doors and hallways no matter which way I turned.

"I'll give you a tour," said Snape, turning around to face me. "But we won't look into every room because it'll take us hours. Come."

Snape wasn't kidding (but then, when did he ever?). It took an hour and a half to tour the entire house, even though we didn't even go into many rooms. He just pointed out a hallway to the guest quarters as we walked past it. We walked past a few closed doors which Snape said led to disused rooms. I saw the massive kitchen in the basement, where Docky lived in a little, but well kept room joining to it. I saw the massive parlour, which was done out in creams and pale green and had sofas arranged in a square, as well as a games table. Further down the hall was a long dining room, with a table large enough to seat twenty-two people. There was also a breakfast room like at Father's house. There was a two-storey library, complete with its own winding mahogany staircase. Snape gave me free reign of all the books within the library because, as he had said on the day I met my father, Mother had disposed of any serious Dark Arts books. I was glad to be given permission to go to the library. In my own Granger-like way, I was itching to explore the many shelves, though I hid my enthusiasm better than Hermione would have.

Snape showed me where his study was located, which wasn't far from the parlour. Joined to his study was a sitting room that he had converted into a private Potions lab. Further down the hall was yet another sitting room, which he informed me, was to be used for any lessons I would have.

Upstairs, Snape took me along a hall which led to rooms overlooking the front of the house. These were the family bedrooms. Snape didn't take me into his bedroom, but I was surprised that with all the bedrooms available in the house, my bedroom was located right next door to Snape's. _To keep watch_, a voice in my head said. When Snape opened the door to my bedroom, I certainly got more than I bargained for.

"Finally, this is your room," said Snape, opening the door and beckoning for me to go in ahead of him.

The room was huge. The walls were light blue and had three floor length windows that allowed a lot of light in. It was richly furnished, but done so with a lot of taste. The four-poster bed on the left of the room was enormous and it was covered in a white satin and lace bedspread. The opposite wall had an ornate fireplace with a number of trinkets on it. There was a white sofa with blue cushions and two matching armchairs centred around a low table in front of the fireplace. There was also a round table with four chairs around it in the centre of the room. What caught my curiosity was a grand piano in the far corner.

Snape must have followed my gaze to the piano.

"This was your mother's bedroom," he said. "She decorated it herself. She specifically asked me awhile ago to give you this room." He waved a hand towards the piano. "I can have the piano removed if you like. Mother was an avid player, but Father wouldn't allow it, so she didn't bring it with her when she married."

"No, that's okay," I said, staring at it. "It's alright there."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You have been taught to play?"

I nodded. "I've completed every level…but I don't play."

"Why not?"

"I don't like to," I said simply. I was being honest though. One of Merle's muggle friends had taught me how to play. I had loved playing, especially after I had completed every level. It was wonderful to select any piece of music and sit down and play it.

The downfall was having Shar next door. He used to hear me play and would then invite himself over so he "could have the joy of hearing Armilla play." It didn't take long for me to reject my love for it. Every time I would sit down at the piano, I would think of Shar coming over and that was enough to make me get up again. And all that was _before_ Shar had attacked me. I didn't want the piano taken out of the room because it was my mother's. But I was certain that I would never be bothering Snape with music because just looking at it reminded me of Shar still.

If Snape found my answer puzzling, he didn't say. He waved a hand to the right of the fireplace.

"The bathroom is in there," he said, briskly. He moved towards another door to the left of the fireplace. "And this," he said, opening the door, "is a storeroom of my mother's favourite books."

I stepped into the room. It was very small. The walls were lined with shelves that were stacked with many books.

"I've never looked through these," he said, staring at the many rows of books with a dubious expression on his face. "However, Mother informed me that they are free of any…_unsuitable_ material and I suppose that I trust her enough to leave them here. She did tell me that on the whole, a couple of them are more _enlightening_ for _witches_ rather than wizards, so I kept my distance."

Snape actually glared at the books now and I couldn't help but smile. I was suddenly grateful that I had found out Snape was my brother at the age of fifteen. It would have been a huge embarrassment for us both if it was left to him to give me "the talk". I think we both would have been red for weeks as a result.

"But you can peruse these another time," said Snape, walking back into my bedroom. "I want to fit in some duelling before lunch."

I suddenly had the image of Snape as a child in my head. I would have bet anything that he and the Slytherins he hung out with would have always tried to "fit in duelling" rather than Quidditch before lunch.

I followed Snape back downstairs and into the sitting room he had allocated for lessons. It was a large, but narrow room, certainly suitable for duelling.

We had only been in the room for two seconds when Snape drew his wand. Thinking that he would do this, I already had my hand on mine upon entering the room. And so when Snape's _Rictusempra_ came at me I shielded it without any trouble and sent another one flying back at Snape, who, being the King of all things duelling, deflected it easily.

We duelled for about an hour, stopping every so often so Snape could point out better stance techniques or more effective wand movements. Even though beating Snape in duelling was always out of the question, once I had learned enough over the weeks under his tutelage, I actually loved duelling with him. I was certain that I was no match for him, but I had the suspicion that he enjoyed it as well. We always duelled for longer than he planned when I went down to his quarters at school, often well past my bedtime, which in itself was proof that he loved it because he had a thing about me going to bed on time. And when he would stop to point things out to me, he wouldn't sound so Professor-lecturer-like he did when explaining a few random spells or potions. He really did enjoy talking about duelling.

When Snape finally ended the session, I waited, as usual for me now, for Snape to pocket his wand before I did.

"You don't trust me," said Snape, eyeing the wand in my hand as he sat down on the sofa. He had the faintest of smiles on his face.

"Not when we've been duelling, I don't," I replied, returning the smile shyly. I sat down next to him and began to heal the various scorches and weals I had received from the session.

"Not as many as you used to get," he commented, watching me heal them. "You have certainly improved because I most certainly have not made things any easier for you."

"Does that mean you're going to make things harder now?" I asked grimly, trying for the second time to repair a particularly stubborn weal.

"You never know," he answered dryly. "Here, you need to alter your wand movement, like this." He waved his wand, the movement slightly different from mine. The subtle change in the movement made all the difference though, as he succeeded in clearing the weal up at once.

"Well, you can put your wand away now," he said, after I had finished. "I promise I won't attack you. Maybe not until after lunch at any rate. Ah, I can hear Docky coming."

"Has he been with the family a long time?" I asked.

"Oh, _yes_," he scoffed. "He'd cut his own arm off and do it smiling if I asked him to."

I looked warily at Snape, who had a tiny smile on his face again.

"Oh, don't worry," he said, waving a hand aside. "I've never asked him to. But I'm convinced he has some sort of infirmity at the very least. His hyperactivity drives me insane."

At that moment, the door opened to reveal the aforementioned house elf. He came in with a huge grin on his face. I heard Snape sigh at the cheerfulness of the elf.

"Lunch is served for Master Severus and Miss Armilla," he squeaked.

"Thankyou, Docky," said Snape through clenched teeth. I had my suspicions that Snape really wanted to curse the elf, but didn't out of loyalty to his mother.

Docky disappeared into the hallway again and Snape and I stood up.

"I prefer him to Jiffy," I said, thinking of the ugly little elf at Father's house.

Snape sneered. "_Jiffy_," he said, "is a _little_…" Snape stopped suddenly and looked down at me.

"erm…_bad_ elf," he finished.

"Bad elf?" I repeated. I hid my amusement that Snape had chosen not to curse in front of me. I had always imagined that with Longbottom and Potter in his classes, Snape would be fond of cursing.

"Indeed," he replied.

We went into the breakfast room. This room was a lot smaller than the dining room. The rectangular table only seated eight. There was a steaming bowel of stew at the head of the table, and another one to the left of it.

"I take all meals in here," said Snape, sitting down at the head of the table. "The dining room is ridiculously big for the two of us."

I sat down next to him.

Docky came bounding back into the room, nearly skidding on the carpet.

"_Decorum_, Docky," said Snape, picking up his spoon.

Docky immediately went back to the doorway and then proceeded to walk properly into the room. I supposed that when Snape was at Hogwarts, Docky fell back into his old habits.

Docky walked right up to Snape's side and smiled broadly up at him. Snape winced, I smiled.

"Yes?" said Snape, curtly.

"Is Master Severus requiring wine with his lunch?"

"No, he is not," Snape replied.

"Is Miss Armilla req-"

"No, she is not," Snape interrupted. "She is fifteen, Docky, and won't be requiring wine at all for a long time."

"Yes, sir!" Docky squeaked. "Docky will leave you to your lunch now, Master Severus."

"Yes, _that_ would be advisable," Snape growled.

Docky, remembering decorum this time, walked to the door and bowed himself out.

I began to eat as well. The stew was very good. There was no doubt that the elf could cook.

"And now," said Snape, smoothly, "since we agreed last night not to hold things back, we can continue our conversation from earlier."

I swallowed the stew in my mouth and looked at him, utterly bewildered.

"I didn't think we had an unfinished conversation," I said.

He smirked. "Oh, _I_ do," he said, silkily. "And I wish to continue it."

"Alright, then," I said, not sure what was coming.

"Why do you dislike playing the piano?"

"Oh, _that_ conversation," I muttered.

"Yes, _that_ conversation," Snape said, narrowing his eyes. "The one you attempted to finish so quickly by saying 'I don't like to'".

"I wasn't holding back," I said defensively. "That was an honest answer."

"Indeed it was," he scoffed. "Yes, an _honest_ answer but not a _satisfactory_ one, wouldn't you agree?"

"No, that was all I _wanted _to say," I said. "I wasn't about to bore you with stories from the past."

"Try me," said Snape.

I looked down at my stew.

"It's nothing major," I said quietly.

"Do enlighten me then." Snape had paused, his hand resting on his spoon in his bowl.

"Merle had a muggle friend who taught me how to play. She'd finished teaching me by the time I was eleven, so I could play anything Merle wanted me to." I paused as the face of Shar came into my mind.

"And you liked it?" asked Snape, watching me closely.

I nodded.

"So what happened?"

I took a breath. "Remember Merle's neighbour Shar?" I asked quietly.

Snape's face hardened. "That damn squib who tried to _kill_ you in Merle's house?" he snapped. "The lunatic who caused you all those injuries? Why, _yes_, I _am_ aware of him," he said sardonically.

I bit my lip.

He sighed. "Do continue," he said, picking up his spoon again.

"He used to use the music as an excuse to invite himself to our house," I said quietly. "I didn't like him coming. I didn't like _him_. Playing music meant seeing _him_...so I stopped."

"And did he stop coming over?" Snape asked, his voice low.

"He still came," I answered, looking at my stew. "But not as often."

"Surely Merle would have noticed that you stopped?"

"Yeah, she did. But I made it seem to her that I had lost interest."

"I see," said Snape thoughtfully.

We continued to eat for a few minutes in silence.

When we finished, Snape spoke again.

"Well sharing that wasn't too hard, was it?"

I shook my head.

Snape smirked. "And what's more, I didn't fall asleep during it so I mustn't have been too bored." He stood up.

I stood too. "You can be bored and not fall asleep," I pointed out.

"Of course," he said, as we walked to the door. "Though I hope that is _not_ the case in any of your classes, least of all Potions."

"Of course not," I said quickly.

Snape looked back at me. "_What_? Not even _History of Magic_?"

I smiled. "Well, maybe there _is_ an exception."

"Indeed."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

We spent much of the afternoon in the sitting room again, practising spells and Occlumency. Snape had stopped teaching me new spells for now and most of our time was spent on refining what I had learned.

At dinnertime, I decided to bring up something that had been playing on my mind all day.

"Yes, what is it?" asked Snape, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"How did you know I was going to ask you something?"

He smirked. "I always know when you want to ask something. You get such an uncomfortable look on your face, the degree of discomfort depending on how worried about the issue you are."

"You…I…had better get out of that habit," I stammered.

"By all means, get out of the habit for Father's sake, but not for _mine_," Snape replied. "Well what is it then?"

"You won't be around with potions at father's house," I said.

"Is _that_ all I'm worthy of?" said Snape, mockingly. "I _won't_ be giving you potions anyway. It isn't safe, even if we try to conceal them, Father may try to uncover them. Jiffy is a known snooper."

"Well, I was looking in one of the books you gave me this morning for a charm to fix a headache…"

Snape put his fork down, positively glowering. "You were going to heal your headache yourself without having used the charm before?" he asked dangerously.

"_No_," I said, angrily. "I wouldn't do something so stupid. I _didn't_ do something so stupid. I was looking for something so _you_ could tell me if it would be appropriate to use. I didn't attempt_ anything_. That's why I still had a headache when I came to you."

Snape sneered. "Oh, the headache you had when you said you were_ fine_?"

"That's the one," I retorted crossly.

Snape glared at me. "Be very _careful_," he growled.

I met his angry gaze for a moment, and then dropped my eyes back to my dinner. I shouldn't have mentioned it. So much for telling him about the things on my mind…

I was angry that Snape was angry with _me_. Hadn't I decided against using the charm?

We didn't speak for the rest of dinner. When the meal finally ended, Snape merely grunted that I could spend the evening in my bedroom because he had things to do, and to make sure I was in bed by nine thirty.

So it was with a heavy heart that I made my way back up to my bedroom. I hadn't occluded to Snape at all that day, yet I had still managed to anger the man. Though, I reasoned with myself, it didn't take a great deal to make him angry.

I ended up not exploring my mother's books that night. Instead, I occupied myself with my own books that I had brought with me. A few times, I would look up from the edge of my bed and stare at the piano. At one point, I actually got up and walked over to it. I touched the top of it. The image of Shar brandishing a knife in my mind forced me to retreat back to the bed. I couldn't play. It was too hard.

I ended up going to bed at nine o'clock. I would sleep better tonight because I didn't have a headache anymore. It didn't take long to drift off…

_I was standing in the courtyard of the Merrigan Estate. Docky was running around madly, occasionally opting to walk on his hands. _

_Snape came outside and pointed his wand at the house elf. "Petrificus Totalus!" _

_The house elf froze and fell to the ground. _

_Snape turned to me. _

_"Stop encouraging that damn house elf to be hyperactive!" he snarled, his face contorted with fury. _

_"I didn't…" I started to say. _

_"You did!" Snape yelled. "You wouldn't tell me yourself so I had to look inside your mind! It's your fault that you won't tell me things." _

_"You get angry if I tell you things!" I retorted, feeling the tears well up. "I won't tell you anything!" _

_"Fine!" said Snape, "then get out!" _

_And so I ran from the courtyard without looking back. I kept running and running and suddenly I was in the clearing in the forest where Snape and I had apparated. I stopped in the middle, not knowing where to turn. I had no one to turn to. _

_There was a movement in the bushes behind me. _

_I turned quickly. _

_There was nothing there. _

_I turned back and met a face I had hoped to never see again. _

_Shar. Shar carrying a knife. _

_"You have Merle's money," he said, angrily. "You have my money. I will take back what is mine." He raised the knife. _

_And I screamed like there was no tomorrow. _


	35. Home

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 34

_I kept screaming as Shar came moved towards me. The knife kept coming closer and closer. His left hand grabbed my right wrist and I grabbed his right wrist with my other hand. Still shrieking, I wrestled with him, trying to get him to drop the knife…_

"Armilla! Stop this at once!"

My screams were cut short when the scene in front of me vanished and I found myself staring into the darks eyes of my brother. Panting, I took in the scene around me. My bedroom had been dimly lit. My bed was big, but I had certainly travelled a fair way from my pillows during the dream. I was cowering in a ball near the foot of the bed, the sheets and blankets strewn in a heap all around me. Snape was bending over me, his face unfathomable as he took in the scene himself now that I had stopped screaming. Just as Shar had done in the dream, Snape's left hand was gripped around my shaking right wrist. Suddenly I realised that _I_ was gripping Snape's other wrist _very_ tightly. A lovely knot formed in my stomach as I realised that though I had wrestled with Shar in my dream, I had been wrestling with Snape in reality.

"Really, Armilla, I am in _no_ mood to engage in muggle-style _wrestling_ at this time of the night, though I have no doubt I would be no match for you," Snape sneered, letting go of my wrist. For some reason, I was not ready to part with his.

Shuddering, I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, only to discover they were wet, as was the rest of my face.

Snape made no effort to remove his wrist from my grasp. Instead, he continued to stare down at me, his looking calculating.

"I have said it before, but I believe I now have _proper_ foundation in stating that you have quite a _violent_ temperament whilst sleeping."

I looked down at the heap of sheets and blankets I was entangled in. I felt like such a baby. I was fifteen. I shouldn't be having such terrible nightmares that could only be stopped by my older brother's interference.

"If you allow me to have my arm back, I will attempt to straighten things up for you," said Snape, looking pointedly at my trembling hand around his wrist. "You do seem to have trouble with the whole notion of the bed and sleep. How you managed to end up down here is beyond me."

Shuddering again, the thought of Shar with a knife still deeply on my mind, I loosened my grip on Snape, but didn't let go.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Snape used his other hand to gently separate my hand from his wrist.

"What for?" he asked quietly, staring fixedly at me.

"Disturbing you," I said, softly.

Snape shook his head. "Don't be. _This_ time at least, I didn't have to chase you through a number of corridors."

He bent down and began untangling the pile of sheets and blankets I was half-sitting in. I kept rubbing my eyes, which seemed insistent on remaining wet. My attempt to control my shudders was failing enormously.

"It is _fortunate_ that I heard you screaming," Snape said silkily, as he pulled a sheet from beneath me. "If I hadn't, I've _no_ doubt you wouldn't have told me that you'd even _had_ a nightmare. Am I correct?"

He paused with the sheet in his hands, glaring at me.

"I don't know," I said, quietly.

Snape shook his head again. "I'll take that as a _yes_."

"I'd feel like a five-year-old if I came running to you every time I had a nightmare," I said, blinking tears away. I kept picturing Shar's knife.

"So what?" he snapped. "Do you think I would tell you that you're acting like a five-year-old if you came to tell me that you had a disturbing dream? For goodness sake, Armilla, you were screaming so loudly that Docky heard you down in the kitchens!"

"I'm sorry," I said again, feeling utterly embarrassed.

"I'm not asking for apologies!" said Snape, angrily. "I was merely pointing out that a dream _that_ distressing is not to be ignored, whether I had heard you or not."

I looked down at my hands, feeling so mortified that I wished I could disappear.

Snape clearly wanted my full attention though, for a moment later he had let go of the sheet and had lifted my chin with his right hand so that I was forced to look into his eyes.

"What was your dream about?" he said in a low voice.

"…Shar…" I whispered back.

Snape gave a small nod and released me from his grasp. He straightened up and folded his arms. I remained in my cowering position near the foot of the bed.

"Only Shar?"

I shook my head.

"Well, then?"

"Docky…and…" I stopped, still blinking tears away.

Snape sighed and took out his wand.

"I have refrained from using Legilimency on you, but may I?"

I nodded.

"You will have to take your guard down." His face grew hard. "I suppose you have still been keeping it up?"

I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "I've left it down all day."

Snape's face softened slightly and he gazed at me for a moment before raising his wand.

"_Legilimens!"_

The room vanished from view and flashes of the dream passed before my eyes. I saw Snape accusing me of not telling him things and then telling me to get out. I saw Shar coming at me, brandishing a knife. Seeing that moment again, I let out a small cry and the scene wavered, before vanishing completely. My own bedroom came back into view again and I looked up to see Snape pocketing his wand, his eyes fixed on the piano in the corner of the room.

Though resigned to the fact that Snape would obviously have noticed my tears by now, I still kept wiping them away in my embarrassment.

Finally drawing his eyes away from the piano, Snape returned his gaze to my shivering form, his face inscrutable.

"I'd prefer it if you slept at the other end of the bed," he said, his voice low. He reached down and took hold of me under my arms. Half-lifting me, he slid me back along the bed until I was leaning against my pillows. Taking his wand out again, he directed the sheets and blankets back into their proper position on the bed. The covers felt unnaturally warm, and I had the shrewd suspicion that Snape had also warmed them while putting them back on the bed.

Looking over the remade bed, Snape nodded his satisfaction and put his wand away. He moved towards me again and moved my pillows down.

"Lie down," he instructed, untucking part of the blanket so I could slide down easily.

Still wiping my eyes, I laid down, hoping against hope that Snape wasn't mortally offended at his depiction in my dream.

To my surprise, Snape moved the blanket back to its proper place and sat down on the side of the bed. He leaned forward and opened the top drawer of the bedside table next to me. Not having explored, I had thought the drawers to be empty, but to my astonishment, Snape pulled out a white handkerchief.

"Wipe your eyes," he ordered, his face unfathomable as he passed me the handkerchief.

I took it from him and began wiping my eyes, my embarrassment at an all time peak.

Snape waited until I had finished before he spoke again.

"Firstly," he said, quietly, "why did you take your guard down today?"

"Because I was with you all day," I answered, softly.

Snape paused, his black eyes fixed on mine.

"I see," he said. He was silent for a moment. I wiped my eyes again.

"Had you been having nightmares while you had the guard up?"

"No."

"Though I suppose you hadn't thought about Shar for awhile, given the current state of things?"

"No, I hadn't," I said quietly.

Snape considered me for a moment. "What do you think about shutting down your emotions before sleep?"

"I would think it is a good idea," I said, still shuddering.

Snape nodded. He looked at me closely, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"Sometimes the mind can play awful tricks on itself, particularly during nightmares. Such tricks can encourage the mind to dwell on issues that have caused a frequent amount of worry to the person."

I stared up at him, my stomach churning.

"From the flashes I saw of your dream," he continued, his black eyes never leaving mine, "you have a number of worries that seem to have been plaguing you for some time."

I blinked, willing the tears to disappear.

"Yet," Snape went on, "you seem to have been content to push all these worries away. Let's recap on all the events in your life of late, shall we?"

He shifted slightly, sitting closer to me on the bed. "Let's see…you arrived late to school this year, having spent time with your sick guardian. You start the school year worrying about her health. Shortly after, she passes away and you're left with no proper guardian to claim you. Following Merle's funeral, you are attacked by a money-hungry squib who sees no harm in attempting to kill you in order to secure your inheritance." Snape stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Do correct me if I am wrong, though."

I nodded, chewing my lip.

"You then spend some time isolated from the other students because the Defence Against the Darks Arts teacher is utterly moronic, like the man she answers to. It is here that you decide to sleepwalk and I am introduced to the wondrous _puddle_ dream. Feeling adventurous and knowing perfectly well that it would displease me, you decide to investigate some kind of inkling you had regarding your dream. In very strange circumstances, you learn your true identity through the discovery of your mother, who is trapped between the living and the dead." Snape paused again. "Do I have it right so far?"

I nodded, blinking the tears away again.

"And _then_, when you think the situation couldn't get anymore bizarre, I catch you out-of-bounds and we discover that we are in fact related. This state of affairs stems towards the downright ridiculous when our father hears of your existence and consequently demands the right to have control of you. He fails, however, and has to settle for joint-custody and meanwhile you have to be trained by me in defence skills so that you may have a chance of coping with life as Aurelius Snape's _daughter_." Snape shook his head. "Dear me, child, this sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it?"

I swallowed, trying to push down the lump in my throat. I wanted to tell him to stop, I had heard enough. I wanted to look away and think about something else. But Snape's black eyes were gazing at me so fixedly that I couldn't look away.

"But the saga continues, and so we have to prepare for what is to come," said Snape, softly. He leaned forward slightly. "Quite a lot has happened in your life within a very short space of time, wouldn't you agree?"

I gave a small nod.

"A little _too_ much to simply push into the back of your mind and ignore?"

I nodded again.

"You secretly grieve for Merle and the mother you never met in humane form?"

I nodded, wiping away a tear.

"You are overwhelmed by the memory of Shar attacking you?"

Another small nod.

"You are terrified about going to stay with Father?"

I barely even needed to nod now. Snape already knew the answer. I wanted him to stop. I wanted him to leave so I could cry alone, by myself.

"And _finally_," Snape said, his voice low and his expression unreadable, "you are petrified that you'll be left alone to face things by yourself. You fear that I will go back on my word and leave you out in the cold if you do anything to displease me." It wasn't a question. Snape really thought this. But this time, I didn't agree. My heart told me something different.

"No," I whispered, my eyes watering.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Oh, no?" he whispered.

"I do fear being left by myself," I whispered. "But I fear it happening by something out of your control."

Snape leaned back again, a brief look of surprise on his face. A moment later, I wondered if I had imagined it, for his face resumed its usual stern look.

"Armilla, listen _carefully_," he said, watching me closely. "Your grief for Merle is not something you need hide from _me_. I've known it was there inside you since I was caring for you in the Secret Wing."

I nodded.

"Furthermore," he continued, sneering slightly, "you can rest assured knowing that…_Shar_…will _not_ be coming near you again."

I had a feeling that Snape had chosen to name the man rather than call him something he considered offensive to my ears.

"Only time and…moving on will help you get through this particular hardship. But getting through it will become easier once you have admitted you cannot do it by yourself." Snape paused, shooting me a significant look.

"As for our _dear_ Father," he went on, his face hardening with suppressed fury, "I know it will not be an easy time for you, but I will give you my word that I will do everything in my power to help you get through any obstacle you might face."

"Have _you_ been through those obstacles?" I whispered, shuddering.

Snape's eyes flashed and he stared above my head at the bed head for a moment.

"I have certainly faced _obstacles_," he said, his voice waspish, "but it remains to be seen how similar _your_ obstacles will be."

I swallowed again, willing the growing lump in it to go down.

"Which brings me to the _most_ important point I want to stress upon you," he sneered, leaning forward slightly again. "What you saw in your dream regarding _me_ was pure _rot_. I told you last night that I would _not_ give you up. There are no _conditions_, Armilla. If you do something to displease me, however angry I may get does not point to me wishing you would…now how did I say it in your dream?…_ah_, I believe it was _get out_."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He waved a hand aside, shaking his head. "This is my final word on the subject, Armilla," he said, his eyes narrowed. "You may do something in future that might warrant a year's worth of detentions, but no matter _what_ you do, it will not be punished by me _disowning_ you." He looked slightly angry as he reached out and closed his hand around my left wrist and bracelet. Instantly, incredible warmth spread through my body.

"I am _dead_ serious about this, Armilla," said Snape, his face hard. "Assure me you understand it and we will say no more about it."

"I understand," I whispered, tears in my eyes.

"Good," he said, curtly, releasing my wrist.

"But I was never intending to make you angry before," I said, my voice wavering. "I was only asking you about that headache charm so you could teach me how to do it. I wasn't going to try it on myself without asking you…I'm not stupid."

"I _know_ you're not stupid," Snape scoffed. He considered me for a moment. "I was still angry with you for not telling me that you even had a headache. I expect you to tell me things like that without me having to ask."

"I _will_ tell you," I said quietly, looking up at him. "I just have trouble sometimes seeing you as my brother…instead of…" I paused, trying to figure out how to word my thoughts without offending the man. However, Snape completed my sentence for me.

"The formidable Head of Slytherin?" He had a grim smile.

Despite my tears, I managed a small smile. "_You_ said it, not me."

"Ah, and I take _full_ responsibility for my words, I assure you," he replied, his eyes narrowed. "But you might do well to remember that up until now, I have not had another person to care for. My students do not count. Had you been a _Slytherin_ I might have understood you a little better, as I have greater insights into the workings of a Slytherin mind." He paused, sneering slightly. "However, I do not regret that my sister is a Ravenclaw. Of course you would have read up on Headache charms before asking me, I believe that trait especially is a part of the uniform Ravenclaw disposition."

I nodded.

"I certainly took you by surprise, bringing you _here_," he said, leaning back again. "Tell me, why do you think I brought you _here_ all of a sudden, without planning it first?"

His question caught me by surprise. Thinking about what Snape had just been stressing to me, it didn't take long to work it out.

"To prove that I have a home with you," I murmured.

Snape gave a small nod, his expression still stern. "'I took you out of the school environment to show you that your life's path _does_ include a home. You may never consider Father's house a home. But for now, you have three homes, Armilla. The first is Ravenclaw Tower, where you spend the majority of your nights. The second is my quarters at Hogwarts. You do have a bedroom there now so it is just as much _your_ home as it is mine while at school. And the third of course, is _here_."

I stared up at him, my eyes still full of tears.

"Thankyou," I whispered.

He scoffed. "Do not _thank_ me for providing a home for you."

"No," I said, quietly, my voice wavering again. "Thankyou for staying."

He smirked. "Well, I wasn't going to leave you to sleep at the foot of the bed…but you are learning I see – you remembered to take your shoes off tonight."

"I _always_ take my shoes off," I mumbled, wiping away a tear.

"I must admit I _was_ rather disappointed that your dream didn't feature a runaway puddle," he sneered. "However, wrestling with a sleeping fifteen-year-old will no doubt be a lasting memory."

"I'm sorry," I said, quickly. "I thought it was Shar…"

Snape glared at me. "Ah, hence your violent attitude towards me. I suppose those circumstances warrant my forgiveness," he said. He fixed me with a piercing look. "I hope to never appear in your dreams in that way again," he added snidely.

I shook my head, shuddering. "No" I whispered.

"Well, I think it is well past time to sleep," he said. "We have things to do tomorrow and I am not a supporter of the Sunday lie-in."

He made no move to leave.

"Close your eyes," he instructed.

I closed my eyes, and my mind welcomed the darkness. I felt Snape take hold of my right hand. He started reciting a charm softly under his breath, the charm sounding slightly melodic. I felt my body relaxing, welcoming whatever charm he was performing. As sleep started to overtake me, I let my last tear fall. Too tired, I didn't bother brushing it away.

But it didn't matter; my brother's warm hand wiped it away for me.


	36. Understanding and Dependence

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 35

"Miss Armilla! Docky is needing to give you something, Miss Armilla! Wake up, Miss Armilla!"

I grunted, half-asleep, and rolled over. It wasn't much use to try and keep sleeping though, especially when the elf was insistent on wringing my hand vigorously.

"Go 'way, Docky," I grumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.

"But Docky will be in trouble if you doesn't get up, Miss Armilla!" the elf squeaked. "Master Severus sent me to wake you up ten minutes ago…but Docky got delayed, Miss."

_Severus_. Memories of the night before flooded back into my mind.

"Ohhhhh," I moaned, rubbing my eyes, thinking about having woken up in the middle of a wrestling match with my brother. Snape _had_ been decent really, albeit sarcastic.

My stomach still churned in embarrassment when I remembered I had been snivelling in front of him as he had untangled me from my bed sheets. It was _he_ who had set everything straight. It was _he_ who had identified all my emotional problems. It was _he_ who had said that I would not get through the whole Shar fiasco until I admitted I could no do it alone.

The whole time though, he had been so…Snape about everything. He had still sneered, he had still mocked, he had still glared and he had still made sure to mention the _puddle_ dream like it was a little game of "How many times a week can I remind you of that really embarrassing and utterly ridiculous puddle dream?" And yet, while he had fumed at me and made sarcastic comments, he _had_ stayed with me until I had fallen asleep.

He could have told me to stop being so emotional before storming out of the room in a huff. Whatever charm he had been muttering when I was falling asleep must have been really effective though…the nightmare hadn't recurred…and I _still_ felt embarrassed.

"Do wake up, Miss Armilla!" Docky pulled on my hand and then swung himself up onto the bed and began jumping up and down. "Wheeee!"

Resigned to the fact that there was no hope in sleeping in now, I blearily opened my eyes to watch Docky jumping around on my bed, clutching an envelope in his hands.

"Alright," I said tiredly, sitting up. "I'm _awake_, Docky."

"Yes, indeed she _is_, Docky," said an annoyed voice from the doorway. I quickly turned my gaze to the doorway. Snape was leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded and his face scowling. "For heaven's sake, stop jumping on the bed, Docky! I told you _years_ ago it would not do in this household."

Docky immediately stopped.

"Yes, Master Severus, sir," Docky said brightly, though his bottom lip trembled a little.

Snape rolled his eyes, his expression quite ill-natured.

"Do tell me," he said, his eyes flitting between the two of us. "Who am I to blame for Armilla having just woken up now when I gave directions to _Docky_ to wake her over ten minutes ago?" He scowled at us, waiting for an answer. Definitely _not_ a morning person.

I glanced at Docky, but he wasn't paying any attention. He bowed slightly to Snape.

"Docky accepts full responsibility, Master Severus," he said, meekly. "Docky only came into Miss Armilla's room just now. It is not Miss Armilla's fault, Master Severus, sir. Docky got delayed after you gave him the direction to wake your sister, sir."

"Delayed?" asked Snape abruptly, raising an eyebrow. "Explain yourself, Docky."

Docky straightened up again. "Yes, Master Severus. Docky was coming down the hallway, sir, when he saw an owl fly in the open window. I stopped the owl, sir, as it was big and vicious and it was flying towards Miss Armilla's room."

"_Big and vicious_?" Snape scoffed, striding into the room. He stopped at the foot of the bed, peering closely at the house elf. "How did you get those scratches, Docky?" he asked sternly.

"Docky fought with the owl, sir, to get the letter. Docky did not want that owl to go into Miss Armilla's bedroom, sir. Docky recognised the owl, Master Severus. It was from Snape Manor, sir." The house elf was positively quivering under Snape's hard gaze.

I starting chewing my bottom lip. Another letter from my father? What had I done now? I immediately began thinking of the welts on my face and hands that were a result of the last letter.

Docky suddenly turned to look at me. "Docky is sorry to be stopping your mail from coming into your bedroom, Miss Armilla. But Docky doesn't trust Snape Manor owls."

I nodded, still chewing my lip and eyeing the envelope in Docky's hand with apprehension.

"Docky is sorry to be making Miss Armilla bite her lip," said Docky, his large eyes wide.

"She always bites her lip when she's anxious," said Snape vaguely, his gaze focused on the envelope in Docky's hand.

"Miss Hazel used to bite her lip," Docky said thoughtfully. "She used to make her lip bleed, Miss Armilla. Master Severus used to-"

"Enough!" Snape snapped. "You may leave the envelope on the bed, Docky, and then you may return to the basement where you will heal yourself straightaway. Understood?"

"Yes, Master Severus, sir!" Docky squeaked, dropping the envelope onto the bed. He jumped off the bed and sped out of the room at high speed.

Snape closed his eyes in frustration as we heard the elf slow down in the hallway, muttering to himself about decorum.

I kept my eyes on the envelope barely six inches from where I was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"I wonder what your _loving_ father has to say now," said Snape, opening his eyes to look down at me.

"I swear I haven't done _anything_ wrong this time," I said, my voice shaking.

He scoffed. "You didn't do anything wrong the last time either," he said. "Father _looks_ for things. However, you never know, it might just be a social letter."

He took out his wand, pointed it at the letter and began muttering charms. The letter came out of the envelope and lay folded on the bed. After a few moments, Snape lowered his wand and nodded at me.

"Go on, then. It's fine."

I picked it up and paused, staring at the folded letter in my hand. Instead of opening it, I held it out to my brother.

Sighing, Snape took the hint and took the letter from my outstretched hand. Sitting down on the bed, he unfolded it and began to read aloud.

_Dear Armilla,_

_I hope this letter finds you in the best health. I am as well as old-age permits, but am strengthened each morning when I think that I am a day closer to seeing you again._

Snape stopped abruptly, muttering "_Oh,_ _bloody hell"_ to himself.

_Of course, I am happily anticipating your return home here the day after Christmas. I am sure your dear brother will gladly relinquish his care of you for awhile and I am looking forward to getting to know you without your brother's presence._

"I'm sure you _are_," Snape muttered. He looked sideways at me. "_Breathe_, Armilla."

I let out a breath, realising that I had been subconsciously holding it in.

_To celebrate your presence here at last, I am hosting a party on the 29th in your honour. I have already received a large number of acceptances from many friends, who are just as pleased to be welcoming you into our midst. Make sure you come with decent quality dress robes. I have enclosed some money to buy them as your Christmas present._

_I look forward to seeing you on the 26th, when we will celebrate our own Christmas a day late._

_Wishing you a happy Christmas,_

_Your loving father_

Snape didn't look at me. He took his time rereading the letter, and then slowly folding it up again, with the money inside that had fallen out of the letter.

I concentrated very hard on _not_ chewing my lip. How could I relax now? A party held in _my_ honour? How many Death Eaters and their children would be there?

Finally, Snape turned to look at me.

"I suppose we'll have to fit shopping for _dress robes_ in today's schedule," he said, his eyes flashing with anger.

"I have dress robes," I replied. "I had to have them for the Yule Ball last year."

"When Father says _decent dress robes_," Snape said, sneering. "He doesn't mean from Madam Malkin's, where no doubt you got yours like any other normal witch. He means dress robes from a higher profile place and he will want a receipt to prove it."

"That's a waste of money," I grumbled.

"Indeed it is," he agreed, twisting the letter in his hands, "but you will have to have them or suffer Father's displeasure upon your arrival without them."

I sighed.

"We'll talk about this later," he said, standing up. "We have an even busier day ahead of us now and I want to leave soon. Get dressed, have something to eat and meet me at the door in fifteen minutes. Wear something warm – it snowed last night."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Twenty minutes later we were back in the carriage we had arrived in yesterday, riding back to the nearest spot to disapparate.

As usual, Snape was silent. I wondered if he was brooding about Father's letter. The letter certainly worried me, that and Shar's face in my mind. Every time I glanced at the piano I saw the man in my mind and it felt like my heart skipped a beat. I wondered what Merle would have said if she had discovered Shar for what he really was.

"What are Father's parties like?" I asked suddenly, breaking my gaze from the window to look at my brother.

Snape considered me for a moment, his black eyes unfathomable.

"Generally, people like Father hold parties to show others how much they've got," he said, quietly. "What they've got in terms of _material_ wealth," he added as an afterthought. "I daresay Father sees you as a possession that he wants to show off, especially to the families with adolescent single sons who he can make a good deal with."

I met his gaze, alarmed.

"But-"

He waved a hand aside, impatiently.

"Do not think on it, Armilla," he said, sneering. "Keep in mind that your father is not the only person with custody of you. Believe me, there will be _no deals_."

"_Never_?" I asked, trepidation very clear in my voice.

Snape regarded me with an expressionless face.

"I assure you, that as long as I am living, you will never be forced into _any_ marriage. Marriage is not for everybody, but for those who seek it, it should be with their consent."

I nodded, still worried about my Father lining up potential suitors just for the fun of it at the party.

The carriage came to a halt and we climbed out and began walking to the forest clearing.

We walked along in silence, trudging through the snow. It was freezing, but I welcomed the fresh breeze.

We reached the clearing and Snape turned to face me.

"Ready?" he said, smirking.

"What if I said _no_?" I asked dryly.

Snape snorted. "I'd say that's unfortunate as Disapparating _unawares_ is quite unpleasant," he answered derisively. He held out his hands in front of him, his eyes narrowed.

I placed my hands in his, gazing at him resignedly.

"Let's go then," he said, gripping my hands tightly in his.

I hadn't enjoyed the sensation of Disapparating and Apparating yesterday, but the shock of the experience was slightly more subdued this time. I was thankful that I wasn't holding on to Snape with just one hand this time; I put all my concentration into holding onto him.

We appeared in a very clean, curved cobbled street surrounded by shops. Though I had never actually walked down this street, I had often bypassed it on my way to Diagon Alley.

We were in Preston Parade, London. Merle and I had never shopped in this street. Merle had lived comfortably, but she had called this street "La di da land" where witches and wizards spent ridiculous amounts of money on clothing. Glancing around, I noticed most of the shops were far from cluttered; clearly the owners opted for spacious shops to show off a smaller range of expensive items.

"You didn't handle that too badly," Snape commented dryly, letting go of my hands. "Come. We'll get your dress robes first."

"Does Father expect all my things to come from this street?" I asked, walking along beside Snape.

"If he _does_, he'll be sadly disappointed," Snape replied, sardonically, glaring at a passing witch who was sporting a fluffy magenta boa around her neck.

I followed him into a shop called _Alethia Courtney Boutique_. It was a bright little shop, with racks of dress robes for witches lining the walls. A tall skinny witch in dark purple silk robes wearing way too much gold jewellery looked up from the counter. She immediately looked both Snape and I up and down, and raised her chin slightly too high, so she had to look down her nose, which I thought was an amazing feat as Snape was taller than her.

"_Ah_," she said, lightly. "Good Morning. My name is Alethia Courtney." The slight sneer on her face sounded as if she didn't mean us a good morning at all. Personally, I thought she was offended that Snape and I weren't wearing velvet cloaks with silk lining. Snape was clad in his usual black, and I was wearing my burgundy cloak over a black top with jeans. We certainly didn't look snobby enough, though Snape _always_ seemed to have a superior air to me.

Snape didn't return the greeting or introduce himself, but he returned the sneering look. Alethia looked startled for a moment, but then recovered herself, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Is the young lady here in need of new dress robes?" she enquired, using a falsely polite voice.

"She is," Snape replied, curtly. "Simple dress robes suitable for dinner parties. Nothing fancy."

Her face fell slightly. She turned to face me, again looking me up and down.

"Well you should consider selecting a colour to suit your own colouring," she said. She gestured to the robes lining the wall. "But is there a colour you wanted in particular, dear?"

"Not _pink_," Snape muttered in my ear.

Alethia glared. "I wouldn't say pink is her colour anyway," she said sourly, staring at Snape, "though I would not recommend _black_, either. Her hair and eyes are dark enough."

This time it was Snape's turn to glare, having clearly understood that the jab was intended for _him_. I waited for him to tell me that we were going and we would buy the robes elsewhere, but he contented himself in just glaring at the witch.

I scanned the colours of the robes, looking for something appealing.

"What about scarlet?" I suggested, gesturing to the scarlet robes near the witch.

Snape scowled. "Too _Gryffindor_," he said darkly.

I stared at him, wondering how serious he was. The scowl remained and I knew he wasn't even going to consider scarlet robes.

I turned back to the robes, looking for another colour. Snape walked along the wall as well, his face impassive as he looked down his hooked nose at the robes.

"What about green?" he said, nodding towards the dark green silk robes next to him.

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

"Too _Slytherin_," I replied, evenly.

Snape narrowed his eyes, his lip curled. "Touché," he muttered, turning back to the robes.

"She'll look lovely in red," Alethia crooned, pointing to lacy bright red robes.

"_No_," Snape and I said in unison.

Alethia looked affronted. "My, we _are_ picky," she said, folding her arms.

I gave her a small smile. "I don't like bright colours," I said, quietly.

"I see," she said, looking between Snape and I. "Well, I guess that rules out _yellow_."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Half an hour later, we finally left the shop, having bought a suitable set of dress robes. I would have gone for blue robes, but my other dress robes were blue – very Ravenclaw. Snape had suggested that I not get blue, as otherwise it would remind my father that I was a Ravenclaw like my mother had been. I ended up settling on deep berry satin and organza robes. They were simple, but elegant enough for my father I believed. And Snape hadn't scoffed at them.

We went to Diagon Alley, where we stopped in at the apothecary as Snape needed to make alterations to a recent Potions order for the school supplies. There were many people about in Diagon Alley, and a couple of people I didn't know nodded at Snape as they passed. I wondered if they were old school friends, Slytherin parents or Order members.

"Where are we going now?" I asked, after we had left the apothecary.

"Knockturn Alley," Snape murmured as we turned down a dark lane leading towards Knockturn Alley. "So stay close. The wizard-folk there aren't to be trusted."

I moved closer to Snape as we stepped into Knockturn Alley. I noticed the change in clientele straightaway. Snape had been perfectly justified in telling me to stay close. The witches and wizards in the street clutched their shopping protectively, sneaking peeks at the people who passed them. There were a number of small huddles in dark corners, where private deals were taking place. A few loners drifted about, leering at the people who passed them.

One stout, drunken wizard in particular was making sleazy remarks at witches as they passed. The witches firmly looked the other way. The wizard in question gestured at me as we passed, muttering something incoherent to himself and Snape grabbed my hand and pulled me so I was walking on the other side of him.

"I wouldn't have brought you here," he said quietly, letting go of my hand, "but we do need to buy Father a Christmas present from you."

"Won't he know I shopped in Knockturn Alley for it?" I asked, feeling sick at the thought of Christmas celebrations with my father.

"I doubt he would _care_," Snape muttered and we stopped in front of a shop called _Diemen's_.

"Do you have something in mind?" I asked as we entered the shop.

"I do," Snape replied, quietly. "There could be some dangerous items in here, so don't touch _anything_."

I nodded, looking around the shop. It was quite dark inside and the shelves were full of many items I couldn't identify. Snape seemed to know exactly what he was looking for as he swept along the aisles, briefly scanning the contents on the shelves. Finally, he stopped in front of a shelf lined with small polished wooden boxes. He picked up one of the boxes and opened the lid, examining the contents. Nodding, he lowered the box to show me what was inside.

The box was lined in dark blue velvet and it contained a number of round pieces of glass, sitting vertically in the box so each one could be pulled out without disturbing the others.

"They're magical lenses," Snape explained. "They are a very recent product and a great improvement on the other forms of lenses preceding these ones."

"What are they for?" I asked softly, staring into the box at the lenses.

"They are designed to fit any telescope," he responded, taking a lens out of the box to show me. "Father is immensely interested in Astronomy. There are a number of telescopes at his house. These lenses differ from the regular lens on a telescope in that there are more powerful charms within them, allowing them to provide more information. Specific lenses here can point the telescope to a certain area one wishes to examine simply on command once it is attached to the telescope. Print can appear on it, detailing what you are looking at. They are also more advanced in zooming in and out on whatever the person is looking at and they can zoom right through clouds." Snape paused, placing the lens back in the box. "They do many things, Armilla, and I know Father will be pleased to have them." He frowned as he placed the lid back on the box.

I watched him, silently.

"Are you happy to give him this?" He asked, still frowning.

"Yes. But he'll know you told me that he liked Astronomy," I pointed out.

"I'd say he would expect that you would have asked questions," he replied, moving towards the counter to pay for the lenses.

"Am I supposed to show an interest in Astronomy?" I asked, following him.

Snape snorted. "It depends how many nights you want to spend up late writing notes for him while he's using his telescopes."

"Oh. I'll show a minimal amount then."

He glanced sideways at me. "Wise decision," he murmured.

When we exited the shop a few minutes later, I immediately moved closer to Snape again as I spotted the drunken wizard staggering along towards us.

Snape veered off to the left slightly, so four or five other witches and wizards separated us from the intoxicated wizard.

"Damn drunks," Snape muttered to himself as we passed.

"Are we going home now?" I asked, as we moved into a deserted area at the end of the Alley.

Snape glanced down at me, a small flash of surprise on his face. As usual, he recovered so quickly that I thought I imagined the look. A second later, I realised what had caught the man by surprise. I had referred to the Merrigan Estate as _home_.

"No, we're not going home yet," he answered, watching me closely. "We have one more place to visit."

He shrunk the shopping down, placed them in his pocket and held his hands out to me again. I took them, gripping them tightly, wondering where we were going now.

A few rather unpleasant seconds later, we appeared in the middle of a cemetery. I recognised the cemetery straightaway. I had been here recently. Merle was buried here.

An all too familiar lump settled at the pit of my stomach. I wasn't ready for this. It was too soon. The memory of sitting with Merle as she had died was still so fresh in my mind. It wasn't just that which disturbed me. Being here brought back all the pain from my last few encounters with Shar. He had spoken to me here in this cemetery, shortly before he had attacked me.

"_I knew Merle for fifty odd years," muttered Shar, as though he was speaking to no one in particular. "I was one of her closest companions before you came along. I should be very interested in knowing what has been left to me in her will. That is, I expect to be informed."_

I shuddered, the memory haunting me. I wondered what Snape meant by bringing me here. I looked up at him inquiringly.

He was gazing at all the head stones around him. After a moment he looked down at me.

"I should like you to show me Merle's grave," he said quietly, offering no more explanation.

Silently, I let go of his hands and led the way to Merle's grave. Snape walked closely behind me, also in silence.

"There," I said timidly, stopping in front of the gravestone It had been magically constructed when Merle had been buried, but seeing it still brought a wave of emotions back.

_Merle Gladys Kemp _

_31st August, 1914_ _– 17th October 1995_

Snape stopped next to me, also looking at the gravestone. We stood in silence for several minutes. My emotions kept running from one extreme to the other. At one moment, I would be thinking about happy memories like Merle dressing up as a fairy for my birthday, and then the next moment, I would be reliving lying to Merle about why I didn't want to play the piano. That would bring forth a lot of Shar-related memories and I really wasn't ready to be dealing with that again. The nightmare I had had the night before had told me that much.

After a while, I could practically feel Snape gazing at me. Finally taking my eyes away from the gravestone, I looked up at him.

"Why did we have to come here?" I asked, determined to keep my voice even.

"For a number of reasons," he replied, giving me a shrewd look. "How do you feel about being here?"

"Uncomfortable," I said bluntly, looking away.

"Without a doubt that discomfort will lessen each time you come here," he said.

I still didn't look at him. I was annoyed with him for bringing me here. It forced me to live out memories that I rather not think about.

"What makes you feel uncomfortable?" he pressed, using a tone very much like the questioning tone he used in the Potions classroom.

I shook my head. "I don't know," I said wearily. "Maybe…I…I feel all these different things being here…I can't explain it."

"Good or bad feelings?"

"Both, I suppose…" I kept staring at Merle's name.

"What do you see in your mind when you are looking at that gravestone?" Snape asked quietly.

"I see Merle," I whispered. "I see all these memories…I keep reliving the moment she died."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape move slightly closer.

"It seems to me," he said, "that though Merle passed on only a short while ago, you are no closer to accepting the fact that she has died _now_ than you were in the days following her death."

I bit my lip.

"Am I correct?"

I paused, staring ahead. Finally, I nodded.

"Why do you think that is?" he asked, edging closer.

I shrugged. "I don't _know_…"

There was a moment's silence. Then Snape spoke again.

"Oh, _I_ think you _do_ know why."

I said nothing, but kept staring at Merle's name.

"_I_ think you also see _someone else_ when you look at that gravestone. Am I correct?"

After a moment, I nodded again. I wished he wasn't so perceptive.

"I believe that someone haunts you constantly and interrupts any happy memories you begin to relive regarding Merle."

I shot an accusing look at Snape and he glared right back, his eyes narrowed.

"Don't you _dare_ accuse me of using Legilimency on you, child."

I looked back at the gravestone. If he hadn't used Legilimency, then he was certainly showing signs of understanding me well…

"Furthermore," Snape continued, his voice growing harder, "_I_ believe this person has been standing in the way of you accepting Merle's death because you haven't _got over_ what he did to you after her death."

I didn't look at him. He was right, but I didn't want to say so. I hadn't thought about it that way before, but Snape had so clearly put everything in perspective in his own cunning way. _Slytherin_.

"_Correct_, Armilla?" he said sharply.

"Correct," I whispered.

"Do you remember what I said last night about _Shar_?" Snape's voice was full of venom as he said the man's name.

"That he won't be coming near me again," I answered, quietly.

"And?"

"Time and moving on will help."

"_And?_"

I thought for a moment, thinking back to the awkward circumstances of the night before.

"That I'll only get through this…hardship when…I admit I can't do it by myself," I said finally.

"_Exactly_," he said in a hard voice.

I swallowed, staring at Merle's name. I tried to picture her smiling face without any distractions. I managed for about three seconds before it was overridden with Shar's face, showing the expression had worn as he had raised the knife…I shuddered. Damn Snape for being right.

"Alright," I said.

"Alright _what_?"

I looked up at Snape, fighting the tears back again.

"I admit it," I said in a low voice. "I thought I could handle it, but it's too hard."

"That's because you don't talk to anyone about your worries," he said harshly. "But we have already spoken about this."

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I admit it," I repeated, "I can't do it by myself."

Snape considered me for a moment, his black eyes fixed intently on mine.

"And what do you suggest that you do about that?" he asked, softly.

I stared at him for a moment.

"Ask _you_ for help," I said finally, my voice wavering, as the tears threatened to make their presence known.

He folded his arms, still watching me closely.

"Don't tell me that you're willing to _depend_ on me for something?" he asked sardonically.

"I depend on you _now_," I said, wiping an escaped tear away. "I've depended on you for awhile."

His harsh expression faded slightly.

"I'm glad you've finally admitted it," he said, sternly. "Now we can work towards putting that fool behind you and ultimately…accepting Merle's death."

I nodded, wiping another tear away. Why was it that Snape always had to put my problems out in the open for me?

_Because you won't do it yourself_, a voice in my head said.

I glanced back at Merle's grave. I thought of Shar's knife straightaway and shuddered.

"Come," Snape said, taking my hands in his, getting ready to disapparate. "Let's go home."

o o o o o o o o o

A/N Thanks for reading. Please be so kind as to leave a comment.


	37. Dark Chocolate

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 36

There was a surprise Hogsmeade trip announced for the second-last weekend before Christmas. I was so annoyed with myself that I still hadn't thought of what to get Snape. Men were hard to shop for at any time, I knew that from shopping for Terry, but Snape was completely different again. More so in the past month, we had become a lot more comfortable in each other's presence. It was inevitable, seeing as I had already been spending time with him for private lessons, but our weekend at the Merrigan Estate had really proven to me that Snape was committed. Even though I was sure the sarcasm, the harsh manner and the overall unpredictable temperament would always be there inside Snape, he was my brother in every essence of the word. Even more. I had finally admitted that to myself the night after we had visited Merle's grave at the cemetery.

The emotional side of our relationship was still vastly absent. Ever since that weekend away from school, I did talk more openly to Snape without being so nervous, but we never got 'deep and meaningful'. It was the sort of relationship where it was enough that we could talk to each other freely and be sure of the loyalty of the other, but that was all. And that was enough for me. I didn't chatter away about my life or anything and I didn't discuss my friends with Snape, and Snape certainly didn't discuss the finer details of his life with me.

After going to the cemetery that day, I had felt especially vulnerable. I had admitted to a weakness and had asked Snape for help. Though I had known it was the proper thing to do, it hadn't stopped me from feeling really low the rest of the day. During our afternoon practices, Snape hadn't mentioned the visit at all. He hadn't mentioned it during dinner that night either, or when we returned to Hogwarts shortly after. I assumed he was thinking about how he would help.

I had visited Mother by myself that night. She had been extremely eager to hear what I had thought of the estate and I certainly gave her my approval. I loved the big house. I loved my bedroom too, and Mother had seemed especially pleased when I had told her I was going to leave the piano in the room. She hadn't asked me if I played, but she had been content to talk for ages about how much pleasure that piano had given her. Apparently my father hadn't allowed such pleasures at Snape Manor and so whenever Mother had spent time at her old home, she would play. She had said that when Snape had been a very young child, she had occasionally brought him to the Merrigan Estate to play music to him.

I didn't mention anything to Mother about spending time with Father after Christmas, and I was careful to occlude in front of her. That dreaded time was drawing nearer and nearer and I seriously wanted to slow down time. Every time I went down to the dungeons for extra lessons, every time someone mentioned Christmas and every time I saw damn Draco Malfoy's face I was hit with the realisation that this was real. My father was a pureblooded pig-headed maniac and I had to spend several days in his house. Then I would torture myself with thoughts about how I would spend those days. Was I going to spend nearly every waking hour in the company of Father? Did he have potential suitors lined up at the door? Would he have Jiffy the house elf follow me around?

I was sure all these thoughts would have plagued me with more nightmares, had I not shut down my emotions at night with Occlumency. That was something Snape seemed especially strict about now. He often asked me now if I had cleared my thoughts before sleep the night before. I supposed his 'wrestling with a sleeping fifteen-year-old' (as he had so eloquently put it) memory made him want to make sure that I was now sleeping properly.

In fact, to make sure I knew that his quarters at Hogwarts were also mine, Snape had given the order for me to stay in his quarters on Friday nights after lessons instead of returning Ravenclaw Tower. Often this meant that I would just stay at Snape's all Saturday morning, even if he wasn't there, doing homework until our afternoon lessons.

Lisa and Terry hadn't received this news with enthusiasm at first, but Lisa was the first one to point out that it would be good for Snape and me. I was shocked to hear her say it, but it certainly meant that she was starting to accept the fact that Snape and I were related. Terry would still wince about it every now and then. It didn't offend me. A few months back I would have winced too.

It was on the Friday night before the Hogsmeade weekend that I had really started to worry about getting Snape a Christmas present. If I didn't use owl-order, this was actually my last chance to find him something. Lisa, Terry and I had sat up late all week, racking our brains for ideas. Nothing. It would be hard to select a book for Snape – I imagined him as being very critical himself on book selection. Stationary was a little too impersonal in my opinion and if Snape was going to get me something (I wasn't sure if Snape would celebrate Christmas; he didn't seem the merry, festive sort of guy) I didn't think he would buy me stationary. Quills, ink and parchment were necessities, not gifts. I knew that when buying a gift for someone, you were supposed to get something that you knew they were interested in. I thought Snape would be offended if I gave him a potion (Terry had innocently suggested giving Snape a Love Potion). The only other interest I knew about was Snape's love of the Dark Arts. I didn't think wrapping up a curse and tying it with a big fancy bow was a good idea…

At least I could spend most of the day just searching for something for Snape. I wanted to get something small for Matilda too. I had already ordered a book I knew Terry wanted from Flourish and Blotts and I had bought Lisa's present (an evening bag to go with her dress robes) back in the holidays.

I was in Snape's sitting room when I was thinking about all this, having just finished our evening lesson. Generally, my lessons now consisted of practising things Snape had taught me.

"Are we going to continue these lessons next year?" I asked, sitting down on the sofa beside Snape. I drew my wand to heal the one bruise I had acquired during our practice. I was quite pleased that my injury count was down for once.

"I've been thinking about that," Snape answered, picking up _The Daily Prophet _and sneering at a picture of Cornelius Fudge on the front page. "I will always have new things to teach you, but how far I will have to go will depend on the outcome of your visit with Father."

"I hope the time will go really fast," I muttered, putting my wand away.

"So do I," he replied, absently, turning the page.

A strange thought suddenly crossed my mind and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before. I hadn't even asked Snape if I was allowed to go to Hogsmeade! I had just assumed I was going because Merle had always let me.

"I can go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, can't I?" I asked.

Snape's eyes paused on whatever line he was currently reading. After a moment's hesitation, he answered.

"I suppose you can," he said reluctantly, turning slightly to look at me, "On a couple conditions, of course."

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes. _Of course_ there would be conditions.

"You are _not_ to be alone," said Snape seriously. "And by alone, I mean that either Miss Turpin or Mr Boot must be with you at all times-" he paused, narrowing his eyes.

"Actually," he continued, the faintest sneer on his face, "it would be advisable that Miss Turpin is with you at all times and Mr Boot can… _accompany_ the two of you. I don't think having you alone with Mr Boot will go down well for the tales Malfoy shares with his father."

I nodded. "Okay," I said, hoping Lisa and Terry weren't going to be looking for 'alone time' together in Hogsmeade.

"Also," said Snape, "you know already how you're supposed to treat Malfoy. At all costs though, avoid any conversations with him or his friends. If you see him in a shop, don't go in there. If you see him up ahead, go into a shop or turn down a different path. Malfoy will use it to his advantage that I am not there with you." He glared for a moment at the newspaper in his hands and then looked back at me. "In fact, I'm reluctant to let you go at all."

_What?_ No! I had some serious shopping to do! I didn't know what I was going to buy…but it was serious all the same…

"I hope you don't think making a crestfallen face merits a slight change in my opinion," said Snape, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Please…?" I began, a little half-heartedly.

Snape scoffed. "Oh, a _little_ better" he quipped.

"I'm no good at begging," I stated.

"Evidently," he sneered.

"I can give it a go," I said. "But I'd rather know now if it's going to help me."

Snape shook his head. "I don't believe I have the energy right now to thoroughly _enjoy_ your dismal begging skills, if that _please_ you just gave me was anything to go by."

"Well, how can I change your mind then?" I said, ignoring the taunt.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you assuming my mind can be changed?"

"I am," I replied, evenly, being sure to keep any cheek out of my tone.

He stared at me, his look calculating as if trying to work out if I was playing a game with him.

"Please?" I said again, still failing to put a lot of emotion in it. I shook my head. "That _was_ terrible," I said, "I'll try that again..."

"_No_," said Snape, waving a hand aside. "Don't subject me to that." He smirked at my mock offended look. "Very well," he said finally. "I might relent this one time, since your _please_ was so very touching and meaningful."

I gave a small smile.

"But be _warned_, Armilla," he said harshly. "It will be the last time you go if any trouble is caused."

I was offended this time. "I _never_ cause trouble," I said, annoyed.

"I wouldn't say _never_," Snape replied, seeming not bothered at all at my glare. "Can you honestly say that it wasn't you who made Miss Parkinson's hair turn green back in first year?"

"You know about that?" I said incredulously, my eyes wide with shock.

"Seeing as I fixed it for her, I do recall the event," he said, his eyes narrowed. "Miss Parkinson could never prove who had done it."

"She asked for it," I muttered.

"Indeed," said Snape, dryly.

"I only turned her hair green," I muttered. "She's done worse things than that."

"Why did you do it?"

"She told me I was stunted!" I said indignantly.

Snape gave me a half-hearted glare. Personally, I thought he was trying not to smile.

"Well, considering it was four years ago, I shall make no further comments," he said.

"I don't intend to cause trouble in Hogsmeade," I said, still cross.

"Of course _you_ don't intend to," Snape scoffed. "But others, namely Malfoy, might."

"But that wouldn't be _my_ fault," I argued.

Snape sneered. "Do you think _Father_ would see it that way?"

"I-" Okay, the man had a point.

"Do you really want me to stay here?" I asked, quietly.

Snape considered me for a moment.

"I would be happy to have you stay," he said slowly. "But then, I would be happy to keep you away from most outings where Malfoy is in attendance. But there is no doubt you deserve to go and I'm sure you have things to do there."

I nodded.

"I don't want you to go all day though," he continued. "We do have a lesson at two and I want you to be back here for that. And, you are to leave me a message every hour on your chocolate frog card to let me know that you're alright. Under those conditions, you may go."

"Okay," I said. That was reasonable enough.

Snape stood up and disappeared into his bedroom at the end of the corridor.

Thinking that was the end of the conversation, I got up too, intending to work on my homework before bedtime (which was strictly nine-thirty when I stayed with Snape). Before I had even moved into the corridor, however, Snape emerged again.

"Here," he said, dropping gold coins into my hand. "There are twelve galleons there. Don't spend it all at once. I've haven't been giving you pocket money so consider it over a month's worth."

"Thankyou," I said, suddenly thinking about Snape's Christmas present again.

Amazingly, though I knew Snape hadn't read my mind, Snape brought Christmas up anyway.

"Considering it's the last shopping trip you'll have before Christmas, I assume you are buying Christmas presents?"

"Yes," I replied, following him back into the sitting room. I remained standing as Snape sat down again with his newspaper.

"There's nothing in particular you wanted for Christmas is there?" he asked.

"No," I answered, confused. Was it a bother for Snape to think about Christmas?

"Good. I shall keep to my prior arrangements, then."

"What prior arrangements?" What was the man talking about?

"Never you mind." Snape opened his newspaper again.

Throwing caution to the wind and trying to swallow my tonsils at the same time, I voiced my concern to my brother.

"Well, what am I supposed to do about _you_ then?"

Snape lowered his paper, looking bewildered, an expression which didn't suit him at all.

"What _about_ me?" For once, his voice held no sarcasm.

_Fine, make this hard_, I thought, though Snape really seemed at a loss for my meaning.

"I don't know what to get you for Christmas," I said simply. There, I had said it, and my embarrassment skyrocketed.

Snape frowned slightly. Clearly, he hadn't been anticipating this.

"Don't get me anything," he said, still frowning, after a moment of silence.

My heart jolted. Though Snape was giving nothing away, I wondered if underneath, Snape was just as embarrassed as I was.

"That's not right," I said, softly. "It's Christmas."

Snape stared at me, his face unfathomable again. Then he lowered his eyes to his newspaper.

"So it is," he said. "I had…forgotten."

_Forgotten?_ Before I could dwell on what Snape meant by this, he looked up again suddenly.

"I do know what I would like from you for Christmas, Armilla," he said evenly, watching me closely. "But you may think it is asking a lot of you…"

Intrigued, I stepped closer. "What is it?" I asked.

He lowered his eyes to his paper again. "Never you mind," he said for the second time that night.

"Well I should mind!" I protested. "It's my present after all."

Snape smirked, still looking at his paper.

"You can wait," he said smoothly. "I'll let you know when the time comes."

"Now I'm going to be having horrible visions of the possibilities for this present, especially if I might think it's asking too much of me," I murmured.

Snape looked up again. "I'm not asking for a _horrible_ present though," he said, frowning. "Who _wants_ a horrible present?"

"Fine," I said, resigned. "Are you sure there's nothing else?"

Snape considered this for a moment.

"Well there's something small," he said. He didn't speak again for a few seconds. Instead he glowered at his newspaper and I wondered if he was going to tell me at all. But a moment later, he continued.

"Every year Dumbledore gives me milk chocolate in the shape of _stars_." He winced at the thought. "I believe he does it to annoy me and I've never told him that milk chocolate is _not_ my favourite, _especially_ not in the shape of stars, because he might think I actually eat them." He paused again, still scowling.

I tried hard not to smile. It was a sign that our relationship was strengthening if Snape was talking to me about his chocolate preferences.

"It doesn't do my…ah…_position_…justice to be seen in _Honeydukes_," Snape continued. "But unlike Father, I do not mind you going in there if you buy things in small quantities."

After he paused again, I decided to help him out.

"What do you like?" I asked, making sure my voice was still even.

"Dark chocolate," he answered.

"Plain or with fillings?"

"Plain, unless it is with cherry fillings."

"Alright," I said. "Done."

Snape's frown turned into a harder expression.

"But you're buying it for _yourself_ of course, if your friends ask."

"My friends won't believe _that_," I said, thinking of my friends up in Ravenclaw Tower.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"They know I don't _like_ dark chocolate," I replied, smiling. "They'll guess it's for you."

Snape sneered. "I suppose they ask many questions, do they?"

I shrugged. "They're interested," I said. "But I didn't expect them not to be. _All_ the students are interested."

Snape scowled.

"I don't tell them a great deal though," I added, "If they ask about things, I tell them some stuff, but not with details."

Snape nodded, turning back to his newspaper. "Well if they do guess that you are buying chocolate for me, you may deliver a personal message from me. If I have any student, especially Gryffindors, using the word _chocolate_ in any sentence while speaking either to me or in my presence, I will personally see to it that they never _taste_ chocolate again."


	38. Friendship Requirements

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 37

"So you have to be in my company at all times," I finished, as Lisa, Terry and I made our way out through the front gates, having just been signed out by Filch.

"Do I get paid for being your babysitter?" asked Lisa, laughing. "I'll have to go make a financial deal for all this with Snape."

"Oh, try," I said airily. "I'm sure a request for payment will be well received. In fact, I'm sure he'd love to discuss it with you during the detention you'll get for daring to ask."

"So Snape doesn't want you and I to be seen alone together in public?" asked Terry.

"That's right."

"But I'm allowed to…_accompany_ to the two of you?"

"Yep."

"So do I get payment for being your bodyguard?"

"You're not big enough to be a bodyguard, Terry," I said evenly, smiling at him.

"Ow, Mill, that _really_ hurt!" he laughed, putting a hand over his heart in mock offence.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to insult your _bulging_ biceps," said Lisa, smiling, putting her hand in Terry's.

"Well, I _do_ work out," said Terry, putting on an impressive voice.

"Do you really?" I asked, smirking.

"Nope. Too lazy."

We talked non-stop all the way into Hogsmeade. I had already decided that it was going to be a happy day. I was going to put all my post-Christmas worries in the back of my mind and really enjoy the morning with my friends. Terry and Lisa were both a lot more comfortable with each other now that their feelings had come to light.

"You know, I'm sorry if I'm stopping you guys having time together today because of Snape's rules," I said, as we made our way towards Honeydukes.

"Are you kidding?" said Lisa, incredulously. "You haven't been to Hogsmeade at all this term."

"And we have plenty of alone time," Terry added. "You do spend a bit of time with Snape these days."

"Well, it's only for lessons," I said. "If those lessons stop next year I guess I'll go back to hardly seeing him at all." _There's a thought_. If Snape felt that he didn't need to teach me anything new, I would have no reason to go to his office or his rooms in the dungeons. I would only see him in class. I couldn't imagine just walking down to his office in the evening for a friendly chat or a game of chess. He might think I was bonkers. That thought really irked me though.

"I still don't know how you're going to go spending a whole summer with him, Mill," said Terry quietly. "I mean, I only just cope with a double Potions period with the man. You can't tell me he's totally different with you when you two are alone. It's not like you grew up knowing him. Hell, not long ago you were just another Ravenclaw student to him."

"I know," I said simply. "I _was_. And he's not that different when we're alone together. He still gets angry. He still sneers and I can certainly guarantee that he's still sarcastic, but…"

Terry and Lisa both stopped, looking at me closely. I didn't always tell them a lot about my relationship with Snape, and I knew that they were interested.

"But?" Lisa pressed, when I didn't finish my sentence.

"But…I don't know," I said finally, not knowing where I had actually been leading with that sentence. I kind of knew how I felt, but I could express it.

Lisa and Terry didn't press me anyway. We had reached Honeydukes and there were too many students around with ready ears for us to continue that topic of conversation.

"Ah ha! Mosquito Marshmallows!" Terry exclaimed, picking up a bag.

"That's disgusting," I said, picking up a packet of peanut brittle.

While Terry and Lisa were examining Honeydukes' new and improved range of mini edible broomsticks (which flew around inside your mouth), I snuck away and picked up a packet of the finest dark chocolate. It even came in dark green packaging so Snape certainly couldn't sneer at it. I saw the chocolate stars on another shelf and I couldn't help laughing to myself.

I hid the packet under my peanut brittle packet and a bag of boiled sweets I knew Matilda liked. I thought I could buy the chocolate without my friends noticing a thing. It was just my luck that the shop assistant made a comment about the dark chocolate being _his_ favourite as Lisa and Terry joined me at the counter.

They said nothing until we had left the shop and were walking towards The Three Broomsticks.

"You know, I would have picked Snape as a dark chocolate person," said Lisa, looking at Terry.

Terry raised his eyebrows. "Really? I would have thought he'd be a licorice person myself."

"Oh yes, you're both very cluey and clever," I quipped. "But you can't spread it around."

"As if we would," said Lisa, laughing. "It's so nice of you to buy chocolate for your brother."

"Yes it _is_ nice of me," I said, sarcastically. "I'm a very _devoted_ sister."

"So what would happen if we spread it around?" asked Terry, chewing on a toffee.

"Well Snape told me he would see to it that you never _taste_ again," I said airily, peering into my Honeydukes bag with feigned interest.

'Git,' Terry muttered.

We went into the Three Broomsticks and sat down, having ordered three Butterbeers. We were sure to take a table in a quiet corner, where we couldn't be overheard.

I kept an eye out for Malfoy. Thankfully he wasn't anywhere inside the pub. I had told my friends about avoiding him, and having to be polite if we did have to talk. Terry had begrudgingly complied to be pleasant if the moment came. Personally, I thought Malfoy wouldn't bother me at all. I wasn't even sure if he had even bothered to come. I hadn't seen him on the line of students being signed out by Filch.

"Here you go, dears," said Madam Rosmerta, coming by with our drinks.

"So do you know what you're doing for Christmas yet, Mill?" asked Terry, as he took a swig of Butterbeer.

I shook my head.

"What about a present for Snape?" said Lisa quietly. "What did you decide on?"

"Oh apparently I am giving Snape something he wants," I said dryly. "Unfortunately I can't share the details with you because I don't know what it is."

"Huh?" Lisa furrowed her brow, looking puzzled. "Wait, did you ask him what you could get him?"

I nodded.

Lisa's eyes widened. "Oh my," she said. "I would have been petrified to ask such a thing!"

"I had to get over that," I said dryly. "I just decided to come out with it instead of stressing all day today trying to find him something."

"But what do you mean _you don't_ _know_ what the present is?" Lisa insisted, her eyes still wide.

"I'm just as confused as you are, but Snape knows what he wants and I won't know what it is until Christmas I suppose."

"Well _that's_ interesting," Terry said, leaning forward. "Do you know if he's getting you something?"

"Well that's interesting too," I said thoughtfully. "He asked me last night if there was anything in particular that I wanted for Christmas."

"Oh wow!" Lisa exclaimed. "What did you order?"

"Nothing. I said that there wasn't anything I wanted."

Terry suddenly chuckled to himself and actually slapped his thigh with glee.

"What?" I said, eying him warily.

Terry laughed even more at my expression. Finally he leaned in further to speak quietly.

"I just imagined you asking Snape for new underwear for Christmas! Ha!"

Lisa giggled and I blushed.

"Perish the _thought_," I whispered. "I would never ask Snape to buy me new underwear."

Lisa giggled more. "Well, he _is_ your guardian," she whispered. "What are you going to do when you _do_ want new underwear?"

"Um…" Hmm, now there was another interesting thought…"Well, I'll just tell him I need to buy girl stuff. Doesn't that normally stop men asking questions?"

"Yep," Terry answered, draining his bottle.

I couldn't imagine actually saying the words "girl stuff" to Snape, but I put that topic in the back of my mind for another day. That was certainly another can of worms.

We ate lunch in the pub and spent another hour after that in Hogsmeade. I didn't make any more purchases, but Lisa and Terry needed more quills and ink (I had an abundant supply in my desk drawer in my bedroom in the dungeons). We also visited Zonko's so Terry could buy some stuff for his young cousins for Christmas. We didn't see Malfoy at all and by the time we were walking along a deserted corridor in Hogwarts back to Ravenclaw Tower, I had firmly convinced myself that the Slytherin hadn't even gone.

It was as if my thoughts drew the piece of scum into my presence, for Malfoy and a group of Slytherins suddenly appeared from around a corner in the distance in front of us. Malfoy was in the centre of the group, strutting along as if he owned the castle. Pansy was next to him, talking animatedly, while Crabbe and Goyle were shuffling along behind them.

"Oh no," moaned Lisa quietly.

"Be polite," I warned. I looked at Terry, whose face was rigid. "For my sake," I said softly.

"Ah, Armilla!" said Malfoy, as soon as we were in earshot of one another. "How _lovely_ to see you."

"Malfoy," I said, nodding at him.

"_Draco_, please," said Malfoy, smiling politely and completely ignoring the presence of my friends. Next to him, Pansy looked green with jealously, her eyes flitting between Malfoy and I.

"_Draco_," I said, being careful not to say the name as if the word made me sick.

"I must say that I am thoroughly looking forward to the party your father is holding towards the end of this month," said Malfoy smoothly. "I hear that only the very elite of the wizarding society will be in attendance."

I was so tempted to say "Then how did _you_ score an invitation?", but the memory of the welts from my father's letter was still fresh in my mind, so I merely nodded.

"I'm sure getting to know your father better will encourage you to associate with only the worthy members of our kind," Malfoy went on, his pointed face sneering slightly. "I do believe there are a number of muggle-borns and blood traitors in Ravenclaw, but you would know better than to give them your attention."

I was fighting to remain polite and I thought Terry deserved a medal for not having hexed Malfoy by now. I could practically feel the anger radiating from him. Neither of my friends was muggle-born, but to me, the decent members of the wizarding society would have been offended by Malfoy's attitude.

I nodded again politely, chewing on my tongue.

"Well, I hope you have a lovely Christmas," I said, as my friends made to continue walking, a sign that they were more than ready to go.

Malfoy actually smiled.

"Why, _thankyou_," he said, sounding as though he really meant it. "I hope you do too. I look forward to speaking with you at the party."

Now I could practically feel the anger radiating from Pansy. She stood with her arms straight and her fists clenched, glowering not at Malfoy, but at me!

"Well, bye then," I said, moving past him, pleased for my sake that I had left him with a good impression.

"Bye," said Malfoy, brightly, turning to watch as I went in the opposite direction.

"Draco!" I heard Pansy hiss, sounding completely infuriated with him. I couldn't hear the rest of what she said to him as we continued further away from them.

"That was handled quite well, I must say," Lisa muttered.

"Mm," I replied, thinking how much I detested both Malfoy _and_ Pansy. Though we were walking further away, I could have sworn Pansy's muffled angry words were getting louder.

"I think-" Terry began, turning to look over his shoulder. What he thought I never found out.

I suddenly felt something razor sharp graze my right side and felt the skin being cut open. Gasping, I clutched my side in pain and felt blood oozing through my top.

"Parkinson!" Terry shouted, getting his wand out and pointing it at her.

Turning slightly, I saw Pansy back down the corridor, her wand raised and wearing a crazed expression on her face. Malfoy was no where to be seen.

"Dear me, what's going on here?" said a girly voice.

I quickly stood up a little straighter, moving my cloak over my side again and pretending with great effort that blood wasn't oozing from my side. I shook my head slightly at my friends in warning not to mention my injury to Umbridge.

Terry had pocketed his wand as soon as he had heard footsteps, but Pansy hadn't been quick enough.

"Miss Parkinson?" said Umbridge, in an even higher voice, rocking back and forth on her tiny feet.

"I…I was trying to defend myself, Professor," said Pansy feebly, pointing madly at Terry, Lisa and I.

"Oh," simpered Umbridge. She turned and gave us a nasty look. "Were you indeed trying to attack Miss Parkinson here?"

"_No_, Professor," we said in unison.

"But I'm glad _you_ just came by, Professor," said Lisa suddenly, in the politest tone. "By the looks of it, I think Pansy was about to attack us from behind – and we _know_ you can't use magic at all in the corridors, let alone hexes."

Umbridge narrowed her eyes at Lisa, as if trying to work out if Lisa was really concerned or if she was mocking her authority. Thankfully, she settled on the former.

"Well at least _you_ know the rules, Miss Turpin," she said. She turned to Pansy.

"I must say I am very disappointed in you Miss Parkinson. You know what a…credit you are to me as a prefect here."

Pansy now glowered at Umbridge. "He had his wand out!" she shrieked, pointing at Terry.

"Miss Parkinson, you do _not_ speak to a teacher that way," said a sharp voice. To my horror, Snape had suddenly appeared behind my friends and I. He didn't look at me at all. Instead, he moved to stand next to Umbridge.

"Apologise at once!" he snapped at Pansy.

Pansy didn't dare glower at Snape. She seemed to have been intimidated into giving him the utmost respect. Also as her Head of House, Snape had the right to suspend her for hexing in the hallway…though no one yet had admitted to hexing…

"Sorry, Professor," Pansy said meekly, looking at Umbridge.

"Well, Severus," said Umbridge brightly. "I got here just in time to stop Miss Parkinson from hexing these students." She gestured at Terry, Lisa and I.

"That is fortunate," Snape said. He glanced at us briefly, his look quite indifferent. I was chewing my tongue again, concentrating on that rather than the pain from my side. I wanted to leave so I could heal my side, but Umbridge clearly hadn't finished.

"You," she said, looking at Boot. "Is Miss Parkinson correct? Did you have your wand out?"

"Yes, Professor," said Terry. "Only to stop Parkinson from-" he paused, looking swiftly at me. I didn't dare make my message obvious in front of Umbridge and Snape. I met his gaze evenly, just hoping Terry would take the hint.

"From _what,_ Boot?" said Snape harshly, staring at Terry.

"…Trying to hex us, sir," Terry finished, looking back at him.

Snape narrowed his eyes, but said nothing more.

"Well, as you both know magic is not permitted in the corridors, I think that will be twenty points each from Ravenclaw and Slytherin," said Umbridge. "And to be sure that it does not happen again, you will _both_ receive detention."

Pansy hung her head, but Terry looked outraged. He opened his mouth to protest but Lisa got in first.

"That's not fair! Terry didn't hex anyone!" she said indignantly.

"Nor apparently, did Miss Parkinson," said Snape smoothly, raising an eyebrow at her. "It is not up to you to decide what is fair, Miss Turpin. Unless you wish to join them in detention, I suggest you say no more." He didn't look at me at all.

"Very well," Umbridge simpered. "I suggest you all go back to your common rooms now." She turned and disappeared around the corner.

Terry, Lisa, Pansy and I made to move away. I wanted to get to my dorm as fast as possible to heal myself. The blood started to run down my right leg. Thankfully, it was still hidden by my cloak.

"Stop _right_ there," Snape commanded in an angry tone. We all halted at once. Snape still didn't look at me, but turned to face Pansy instead.

"Miss Parkinson, that is the second time this week you have been caught hexing people in the halls," he said in a low voice. "You know the rules and I'm sure you do _not_ wish to suffer my displeasure any more than you already have this week."

"No, sir," said Pansy meekly. "I didn't hex anyone."

"Did you _not_?" asked Snape, sounding incredulous.

"No, sir," Pansy repeated, turning red.

"You're _perfectly_ sure about that?" His tone was very dangerous now. I saw Lisa wince out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes, sir," said Pansy, her voice becoming higher.

"Then can you explain this?" Snape strode forward, and still without looking at me, he grabbed my right arm, moved it out of the way and then briskly lifted my cloak to reveal the huge blood stain coming from my side. The sight of it made me feel sick.

"Oh…" Lisa murmured, staring at the stain. Terry was looking at Snape with a strange expression on his face. Snape ignored all three of us.

"Well?" he demanded, glaring at Pansy.

"She must have hexed herself," said Pansy feebly.

Snape's expression hardened even more.

"Are you suggesting, Miss Parkinson, that _my sister_ would hex herself for the sake of it?"

Pansy was practically shaking now. She shook her head and I knew that was the best confession she was going to offer.

"For failing to own up and for blatantly lying to your Head of House, you will serve detention with Filch for the next week, Miss Parkinson," Snape said angrily. "Understood?"

Pansy looked frightened. "Yes…Yes, sir," she said trembling.

"You are dismissed," Snape snapped. "Return to your common room at once."

Pansy did not need to be told twice. She turned and fled from the corridor.

Now, I thought, seeing as we were the only students left, and for the fact that Snape was still clutching my cloak and right arm, he would have to pay us some notice.

"Come," he ordered, glancing briefly at the three of us. He let go of me and we followed him into a nearby empty classroom. Once inside, Snape closed the door and cast a silencing charm. He turned to face us, still glaring.

"Sit," he commanded, looking at Terry and Lisa as he gestured at the desks. I moved to sit down too.

"Not you," Snape snapped, reaching out and grabbing my right arm to stop me. I gasped in pain as the slash in my side reminded me of its presence. He gestured for me to sit on top of a desk next to him.

"Show me," he instructed.

"I can fix it myself," I said, terribly embarrassed.

He glared at me. "I believe I just gave you an order."

Resigned, and feeling incredibly self-conscious, I lifted the side of my top slightly to reveal the long deep cut on my waist.

Snape examined it closely for a moment and then straightened up.

"Well, let's see our hard work pay off," he said smoothly. "If you say you can fix it yourself, be my guest." He stood back and looked at me expectantly.

Wincing with the pain, I took out my wand. It was a bit difficult to wave the wand correctly with my left hand while pointing it at the right side of my waist. I was at least thankful that the cut was on my right side because I was left-handed. It would have been harder to heal a cut on my left side. I gave it a go all the same and succeeded in stopping the blood flow, though not healing the mark left by the cut because of my wonky arm movement. I raised my wand again to have a go at getting rid of the mark.

"That will do, you have made your point," said Snape curtly, moving forward again holding his own wand.

I hesitated, wanting to fix it myself.

"Put your wand away, Armilla," he snapped.

I put it away, not looking at my friends, who had wisely remained silent thus far.

"I do hope there is a good explanation as to why Miss Parkinson felt the need to hex you," said Snape, after making the mark vanish. He conjured up a cloth and wiped away the majority of the blood. "You can wash the rest of it away and change when we go down to the dungeons," he said quietly to me.

"I didn't provoke her at all," I said softly, looking up at Snape. "I was polite to Malfoy and Pansy didn't like it."

"Parkinson attacked her from behind," Terry piped up.

Snape looked over at Terry. "And you drew your own wand, Boot, I believe?"

Terry looked troubled. "Yes, sir."

"I brought you two in here to make it very clear to you both the… _requirements_ that now come with being Armilla's friends." Snape gave them a dour look.

I looked up at Snape, alarmed. I didn't want him making my friends too scared to be friends with me. Snape didn't look at me at all. He addressed himself to my friends.

"It is extremely important for Armilla's own safety that neither of you do _anything_ that could put her position in danger. I do not know what details Armilla has told you of her father, but any interactions she has with Malfoy and her actions in general are reported to him by Malfoy. Armilla has already suffered her father's displeasure recently and I assure you, _both_ of us do not wish to have the experience repeat itself."

Terry and Lisa's eyes were flitting between Snape and me, both of them looking at a loss for words. I was so uncomfortable and the stress of the situation was giving me a headache.

"Therefore, as Malfoy and a few others constantly watch Armilla, they are watching her friends too. Any bad reports will result in grievances worse than this." Snape gestured towards my side. "Even if you are attacked in the corridor, Boot, our father will most likely blame you, and consequently Armilla, rather than a Slytherin."

Terry nodded slightly. Lisa looked shocked.

"So I warn both of you," Snape went on, his eyes narrowed. "If either of you step out of line, you will have to deal with _me_, and Armilla will have to deal with our father." He looked sternly at both of them. "Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes, sir," said Terry quietly, looking at Snape with the same strange look that he had been giving him before.

"And you, Miss Turpin?"

Lisa nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Of course," said Snape. "You are not to repeat this conversation to _anyone_. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," they said in unison.

Snape nodded, seeming satisfied. "Very well. You may go."

They stood up to leave, looking at me expectantly. I still had half an hour before my lesson with Snape began.

"Armilla will not be coming with you," Snape said. "Go on," he said more harshly when neither of them moved. "She will see you at dinner."

Muttering their goodbyes, the two left, looking like lost sheep.

Snape turned back to me.

"I do not apologise for doing that," he said, "it was necessary."

I didn't answer. I got off the desk, not sure whether I was angry with him or not.

I moved towards the door.

"Wait," said Snape.

I turned around to face him.

He narrowed his eyes at me and folded his arms.

"You have yet to tell me whether or not you are alright," he said.

"I'm fi-'" I paused, remembering a conversation we had had a couple of weeks before. "Actually," I said, "I've got a headache…and that doesn't qualify under _fine_."

Snape smirked.

"Indeed. Well, that can be fixed. Come."

And I went with Snape down to the dungeons, allowing myself to feel a bit more dependent on him, like he wanted – and like I _needed_ to.


	39. Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 38

Hogwarts certainly became a lot quieter once the majority of students had left for the holidays. School had finished for the term on Friday and all students going home for the holidays had left early on Saturday morning. An hour after I had hugged and kissed my friends goodbye, I found myself completely alone in the Ravenclaw common room, apparently the only Ravenclaw staying at school.

Since Snape's "talk" with them, Lisa and Terry had been very careful about what conversations we held in public. Any personal topics were only covered when we were sure we couldn't be overheard. Though the two were even more alert and even more intimidated by Snape in Potions, they seemed to have found a new level of respect for him.

The night after Snape's talk, Lisa had said very seriously, "You know, Mill, even though Snape has this tough façade, he is certainly protective of you."

Terry had agreed at once, "Yeah. I wouldn't say he is affectionate towards you or anything, but you can tell that he cares."

I knew that Snape did care for me in his own way; how could I not at this stage? But hearing it from my friends kind of…confirmed it for me…and comforted me.

As the weekend passed, I concluded that Snape and I were remaining at the school for Christmas, especially since I saw a number of Slytherins around the school, obviously staying for the holidays. Snape hadn't mentioned Christmas to me since the night before I went to Hogsmeade. I wasn't expecting to have much of a celebration with him anyway. He just didn't seem the jovial, spirited sort of man. I was planning to just go down to the dungeons on Monday morning, Christmas morning, to give him his chocolates and then go up to the feast with him. That would be good enough for both of us.

After our Saturday afternoon lesson, I returned to Ravenclaw Tower to have some "me" time. I laid on my bed, letting my thoughts wander from one thing to another.

I hadn't dreamed about Shar since that night at the Merrigan Estate. But like Snape had implied at the cemetery, whenever I thought of Merle, I thought of Shar. Since Christmas was so close, Merle was certainly not far from my mind at the moment. Though I had asked Snape for help in dealing with my grief, he still hadn't said anything since that day. I did wonder whether he had forgotten about me admitting that I would depend on him for something. But then I reminded myself that Snape was a double agent and as such, would possess a mind that didn't allow him to forget _anything_. I then wondered if Snape wasn't mentioning that conversation on purpose, to allow me time to think about Shar being in the way of my acceptance of Merle's death. After all, the man _was_ a Slytherin and could be perfectly cunning when he wished to.

Before long, my thoughts turned to the days in front of me. My stay with my father was now drawing very near and I found myself occluding more than ever in an attempt to keep my emotions at bay. Not knowing what I was going to do there all day was really bothering me. I was actually hoping to see as little of my father as possible – hopefully he was a "children should be seen (very, very rarely) and not heard" sort of man. Since first year I had always thought Snape to be that sort of man. He had even admitted to me that children had never been on his life's agenda.

I was starting to feel a bit depressed after thinking about Merle and my father too long, so I got up, took a shower and then got started on my holiday homework. I knew I would have to get it done quite early since my time at my father's place could be limited. It was depressing to think that the majority of my Christmas holidays were going to be spent with him. I would have preferred to spend the time alone in Ravenclaw Tower. I was also down because I hadn't been able to see my mother that morning. Dumbledore had been away for the day and now I wouldn't see her until the New Year.

As I was working on a particularly tricky Potions essay (Snape had been _kind_ enough to set a complicated essay for the holidays), I was suddenly struck with the thought of what I would have been doing right now if I hadn't discovered Snape was my brother. Would I have some foster family? Would I be at Hogwarts for the holidays? Then of course, my mind jumped to the memory of Snape saying that he wouldn't give me up now if he was given the option. That memory created a warmth in my heart, not unlike the feeling when Snape had touched my bracelet. In all honesty, though we weren't a typical, and certainly not a warm and affectionate family, if given the option, I wouldn't have given Snape up now either. It was still difficult sometimes to distinguish him from my teacher to my brother, but I had grown accustomed to him being in my life. And something inside told me that the feeling was mutual.

I didn't see Snape in the Great Hall that night at dinner, though there weren't many people around anyway and I supposed they were all eating at different times. I didn't see him all day on Sunday, Christmas Eve, either. I spent the majority of the day on my bed doing homework and packing for my visit to my father's house.

At around seven o' clock that evening, I returned to my dorm after having dinner with a couple of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors in the Great Hall. Flitwick had bewitched the little angels on the Christmas trees to sing _Silent Night_ and _Come All Ye Faithful_ and I had left dinner early, as the slow music had brought unwanted tears to my eyes. Merle used to sing those very songs to me every Christmas Eve before bedtime. I had walked all the way back to my dorm trying to occlude to send the tears away. Satisfied at my success, but still with a very heavy heart, I pulled an old album out of my trunk and sat up against the pillows on my bed.

I had avoided even touching the album since Merle's death. Looking at photos of us from my childhood would have been too painful. I knew it wasn't good for a mind trying to occlude, but I had the sudden urge to see her face again. I had never had this album at school before. Matilda had borrowed it from Merle a while back and she had returned it to me via owl post not long ago. I knew that looking through it would bring Shar's face to my mind as well, but if I looked at the photos often enough, hopefully his image in my mind would fade away in time, like Snape had said.

I didn't know how long I sat there, turning the pages. There were photos of me as a baby with Merle and Matilda. There were plenty of me learning to walk. The album finished when I was about ten. The rest of the albums with later photos were in my vault at Gringotts with the other valuables from Merle's house. I felt little happy sparks inside me as I looked at every photo, but with every turn of the page, my heart grew heavier. I longed for her. I longed for a hug and kiss from her. I longed for a smile that would tell me that everything would be alright. I longed for her love.

With shaking hands, I finally put the album back in my open trunk. I hadn't cried at all, and though I felt full of emotion inside, Shar's face wasn't bothering me as much. It was certainly still there, but it wasn't as intense. Snape had been right. Shar would fade away, but looking at the album had told me that it certainly wouldn't be an easy process.

Wanting to distract myself and make my heart feel lighter, I reached for my chocolate frog card to turn it into my textbooks. I wanted to do some last minute reading. I didn't know why my heart grew heavier when I saw that the wizard wasn't waving at me to indicate a new message from Snape. It wasn't as if I was expecting one. We had finished all our lessons now. I had no reason to see him.

I immersed myself in the glossary page at the end of one of the books, going over the spells I had practised with Snape, remembering the specific enunciation and wand movement of each one. By the time I got to the 'S' section, I was becoming very drowsy and warm.

"A fine way to be spending Christmas Eve," said a deep voice.

Thankfully, I wasn't so startled that I leapt off my bed. But suddenly hearing Snape's voice inside Ravenclaw Tower certainly gave me a shock. He was standing in the doorway, looking quite out of place in a girl's dorm.

"Startle you, did I?" he said smirking, as he walked into the room.

"I didn't know you could come in here," I said, putting my book down.

Snape sneered slightly, though it didn't seem as if his whole heart was in it.

"I'm a _teacher_, Armilla," he said. "I can go anywhere I please within this castle." He leaned against the bedpost at the foot of my bed, looking down at me closely. "Though I will admit to not having been in Ravenclaw Tower before."

"Is it better than Slytherin?" I asked, giving him a sly smile.

He scoffed. "Certainly not. It's hotter up here."

He continued to watch me closely, as if trying to work something out. Not liking that sort of attention, I got off my bed, picked up a few books off the floor and went to put them in my trunk, which was lying open next to him. I knew that Snape's gaze followed every move.

Finally, having run out of out things to put away, I straightened up again and looked expectantly at my brother. He had to have a reason for coming all the way up to Ravenclaw Tower after all.

"I haven't seen much of you this weekend," he said, folding his arms.

"You saw me yesterday," I said. "I've been doing homework. I wanted to have it all done."

"And did you finish?"

"Yes."

Snape nodded. "Good." He was still watching me closely. I didn't know what he was expecting of me.

"Were you planning on staying up here tonight?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "I suppose so," I answered.

"Why aren't you staying in the dungeons tonight?" Now he looked a bit stern.

"It's not Friday," I replied quietly.

"I'm well aware of that," he said sharply, his eyes narrowed.

I looked away, not knowing what to say.

"Well then, let me ask _you_ what day it is, Armilla," he said. "I'll wait until you are looking _at_ me, of course."

Biting my lip, I looked up at my brother's serious face. Remembering then that Snape took my 'biting my lip' habit as an indication of nerves, I stopped.

"I do believe today is Sunday," he went on. "But I would be surprised if you could _not_ tell me what else today is. Care to enlighten me?" he asked derisively.

"Christmas Eve," I answered quietly.

"Indeed," he said curtly, his eyes narrowed. "You know, I seem to remember being reminded myself that it was Christmas not long ago."

I hoped that I wouldn't blush.

"And seeing as it was _you_ who reminded me of that fact," he went on, his expression growing harsher, "I find it surprising that you would choose to stay up here by yourself on Christmas Eve."

I didn't know how to get myself out of this one. I must have really offended him. But how was I to know? Snape hadn't mentioned me going down there to stay with him on Christmas Eve.

_But it's Christmas Eve_, a voice in my head said. _You wouldn't have asked permission from Merle to stay with her at Christmas_. But this was _Snape_. He was a busy man. He didn't have leisure time for a fifteen-year-old who was feeling lonely. I knew now that I wasn't a burden, of course, but knocking on his door simply for entertainment or just company was a level I hadn't reached yet. Clearly, Snape knew this.

"And even if it _weren't_ Christmas," Snape said. "Do you think you need a purpose to come down to the dungeons?"

"No," I said softly.

He gave me a shrewd look. "I'm glad you've realised that," he coldly.

I looked away again, my heart heavier than ever. I hated him being angry with me.

Snape sighed. "Don't start agonising that you have mortally offended me," he said. He reached out and lifted my chin so that I had to look at him again. "I believe it is just a matter of you being able to distinguish where our school relationship ends and our family relationship starts. I know there will be a problem if you start knocking on the door to our rooms in the dungeons." He gave me a significant look. "You don't knock on the door of your own home."

I thought my heart dropped down even further. It was so bizarre to hear _Snape_ say something like that. And I felt even worse for not having gone down to the dungeons earlier.

"I'm sorry," I said, when Snape released me.

"You apologise too much," he said, sneering. "I believe I just told you _not_ to agonise over it?"

"I can't help it," I muttered.

"Well attempt to," Snape replied, his eyes narrowed again.

He looked around the dorm. "Have you packed?"

"Yes, my bag's in the wardrobe."

"Good. Well, let's go then. There's no reason to stay any longer up here. That is, unless you _do_ want to sleep here tonight?" Snape stopped halfway to the door and turned around, his expression hard.

I shook my head, fighting back the annoying tears that seemed too near the surface lately for my liking. But I had promised not to occlude in front of Snape.

Snape's face softened slightly. "Come then," he said, gesturing for me to join him.

Not looking back (and quite glad that I hadn't changed yet – I didn't fancy walking through the school in my pyjamas), I followed Snape out of the dorm, through the common room and out into the school's freezing corridors.

As usual, Snape was silent. I wanted to break his silence, just so I could be sure that he wasn't _that _angry with me, but the only topics of conversation I could think of weren't suitable for castle corridors where we could be overheard. There was always the weather, but bringing that up as a topic of conversation would be boring and trivial. And no doubt Snape would think it offensive, since generally you spoke animatedly about the weather to strangers only. _I_ would have been offended if that was all Snape had to talk about to _me_.

So we walked all the way down to the dungeons in silence and I didn't speak again until we had arrived in Snape's sitting room. Immediately upon entering, I spotted my mother's ring sitting on the coffee table.

Feeling a jolt of excitement, I stopped in my tracks.

"What's _that_ doing here?" I asked, gesturing towards the ring.

Snape shook his head. "Thought Dumbledore wouldn't let you see your mother before Christmas, did you?"

I didn't answer. Dumbledore was a nice old wizard, really, but I _had_ thought I wasn't going to see Mother.

"I'll take that as a _yes_," Snape said, sneering slightly.

He walked passed me and sat down on the sofa in front of the ring. He looked up at me expectantly.

"Are you going to stand there all night or come and talk to your mother?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

No matter what he said, he did still seem to be angry with me. He hadn't sneered this much at me since my days in the Secret Wing. Trying to ignore this worry, I joined him on the sofa and peered into the ring.

There she was. My mother's face was smiling up at me.

"Ah, there you are, dearest," she said. "I've been waiting for you for a long time. Severus thought you would come down sooner."

I said nothing. If I said anything, I would remind Snape that I hadn't come down because it wasn't Friday and he would get even angrier.

"In the end Severus had to go and get you himself before you went to bed," Mother went on, her expressing calculating. I knew that expression. My brother wore it quite frequently.

Next to me, Snape was also listening, but seemed to have nothing to say either.

"I do wonder, Armilla," Mother continued, "if you feel uncomfortable coming to see your brother without a visit being organised by him."

Again, I still said nothing. I realised that I was biting my lip again and quickly stopped, though Snape's sharp eye would surely have noticed.

"I'll take that as a _yes_," said Mother, echoing the words Snape had used just moments ago. She turned to look at Severus. "I do hope, Severus, that you are doing everything in your power to make Armilla comfortable."

"It's not his fault, it's mine," I said, before Snape could answer. I didn't look at him, but I knew he was looking at me.

"Oh." Mother looked a bit perplexed at that.

"_No,_" said Snape in a waspish voice. "Armilla has a fetish for overcompensating me with apologies. I do believe she thinks her presence in my life is depriving me of my valuable time."

"_Oh_," said Mother again, her face worried as her eyes flitted between the two of us.

"Indeed," said Snape, fixing his gaze on Mother, seemingly determined not to look at me. "In fact, I highly doubt that she would come down here at all if I didn't schedule it."

"Armilla, does everything Severus says sound familiar to you?"

Slowly, I nodded.

What happened next, I certainly didn't anticipate. Mother laughed! Actually laughed! I couldn't believe it! Nor apparently, could Snape. He was looking at Mother as if she had just swallowed a _crazy cocktail_ potion.

Finally, wiping tears of laughter away, Mother spoke again.

"Dear me, the looks on your faces! How very alike the two of you are when you're both frowning. I never realised it before."

I didn't know how to reply to _that._ Lisa had made a very similar comment once before. It seemed Snape didn't know how to respond to the comment either. It didn't matter though, for after chuckling further still, Mother kept talking.

"Lord, Severus, you _must_ be a formidable teacher. To have a sister be that terrified of you because of all her school experiences with you…" Mother trailed off, shaking her head.

Snape folded his arms, his eyes narrowed. "She's _not_ terrified of me," he huffed, looking quite ill-tempered. He turned to glare at me. "Are you?" he asked harshly.

"I wouldn't say _terrified_," I said quietly, meeting his gaze. "Not anymore."

"You'll just have to grow used to his temperament, dear," said Mother, smiling. "It's a questionable one, I know, and I did my very best to-"

"There is no need to talk about me as if I was not here," Snape snapped, looking quite affronted, glowering at Mother.

Mother glared at him now. "No wonder she's nervous of you, Severus. Maybe if you didn't scowl so much-"

"There is no need to be discussing my temperament," Snape interrupted, in a dangerous tone. "It doesn't bother me in the slightest and I have no intentions of changing it."

Mother opened her mouth to argue, but Snape pressed on. "I do believe the purpose of this visit was to wish _your_ daughter a happy Christmas?" He raised an eyebrow at his mother.

Mother scowled. "If you were five, Severus, I would-"

"Alas, I am _not_," said Snape smoothly. "And it has been a long time since I was. Perhaps you would care to talk to your _other_ child, the one who has been five more recently than I?" And with that, Snape got up and left the room, his black robes billowing out behind him. I heard the door slam as he went into his office.

Mother looked slightly ashamed. "I'm sorry," she said to me. "I shouldn't have provoked him. I'm reminded of when he was a teenager."

I shrugged.

"Well, despite his temperament, I still love him," she said, her eyes watering now. "I can't help it," she went on, giving a small laugh. "I'm a biased mother, but I still find everything about him lovable."

I smiled. At least if Father had never shown any real love to Snape, Mother certainly had, even if they did have their arguments.

We continued to talk for another half hour, discussing everything from what I was giving my friends for Christmas to how many OWLs I was hoping to get. Finally, as Mother was describing her first broomstick, Snape came out of his office, looking slightly less ill-natured.

"It's time for bed, Armilla," he said.

"Oh, it's Christmas Eve, Severus," said Mother. "Surely she can have another hour?"

"Certainly not," Snape replied, stacking some loose parchments on the dining table. "She has tired herself out from staring at books all day and she needs the sleep."

"Oh, very well," Mother sighed, evidently knowing that her son was not to be convinced. "My ring is going back up to Professor Dumbledore's office tonight, so I will not see you tomorrow. I hope you have a lovely Christmas, dear."

"Thankyou," I said softly, getting up. Snape came over at that moment. He sat down on the sofa, obviously wanting to speak to Mother again.

"Go and get ready for bed," he said. "I will be in shortly."

I nodded and left Snape alone with Mother. _Well that was new_, I thought, as I went into my bedroom. Snape generally didn't come into my bedroom after I went to bed.

A few minutes later, when I came out of the bathroom, I thought I heard Dumbledore's voice out in the sitting room. He must have come to collect my mother's ring.

I changed into my pyjamas, trying not to think about having angered Snape. Before long, my thoughts flew back to photos of Merle in the album in my trunk and my heart grew heavier than ever. I certainly didn't seem to be doing a good job showing appreciation to the person who _was_ my guardian now, especially when my mind kept wandering back to the guardian who had died.

Ten minutes later, as I was getting into bed, Snape came in, his expression unfathomable now.

"Dumbledore took Mother's ring back up to his office," he said quietly, coming to stand at the foot of the bed.

I nodded.

Snape folded his arms, watching me closely. "You don't have to explain to me all the things that are on your mind," he said. "But be aware that I _do_ know that they are there."

I looked back at him and suddenly felt guilty that I had kept my grievances to myself again. I had decided to be content with my loneliness in Ravenclaw Tower. It was a habit I had to break.

"I know you know," I said softly.

"You forget sometimes?" Snape's hard expression had softened a little.

I shook my head. "No…"

He suddenly nodded. "Ah, yes, forgive me, but this is a classic example of not wanting to take up my time?"

"I suppose…"

He scoffed, shaking his head. "Well, after Christmas we may not need to have as many extra lessons down here." He gave me a significant look. "Does that mean I will be seeing little of you? Will you only grace me with your presence in Potions?" he added sardonically.

"I don't think so," I said.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Go on," he said, looking suspicious.

"I wouldn't mind coming down here," I said, "now that I know I don't need a reason to."

"I can't believe I had to point that out to you," he said mockingly, moving forward to sit on my bed. "Fancy having to point something out to a _Ravenclaw_…shocking."

I gave him a half-hearted glare. "So you seriously wouldn't care if I came down here any day at any time?"

Snape considered this for a moment. "Well that depends on whether I had specifically told you not to," he answered. "But otherwise, like I said before, you can't really intrude on your own home."

I nodded. "I know."

"Which leads me back to the other issue," he went on. "You know you need not worry about coming down here, but you _do_ worry about intruding on my own time?"

"Yeah…"

"As much as I loathe to admit it, perhaps the reason for that lies in what Mother said before about your experiences as a student since first year." Snape was frowning slightly. He clearly hadn't liked Mother pointing that out to him.

"It doesn't help," I said slowly. "But it would be the same for anyone else. Except for the Slytherins of course," I added as an afterthought. "I think most the other Houses are intimidated by you."

Snape actually looked satisfied at this statement. "Then, clearly, I am not going soft," he said. "You know, no student has ever admitted that to me before."

"That's because they would be terrified at what you would say to them," I said indignantly.

Snape looked pensive for a moment. "Well…there are many ways in which I could reply…"

"Do any of them not involve detention?"

He gave a small, very sly smile. "Of course not. Didn't I just say that I'm _not_ going soft? I've got to keep up appearances."

"Well there is a bright side," I said, playing with the lacy hem of my sheets.

"What's that?"

"I'm glad I'm not a Gryffindor," I said. "I don't think you would have let me into your home if I was."

Snape scowled. "Perish the thought," he said. "It bothers me enough that you're in the same year as _Potter_."

I wanted to ask what was wrong with Harry, but I decided against it, as I thought Snape's hatred for the boy was something I would never understand.

"We've gotten off topic," said Snape. "Just be clear that your _intrusion-on-my-time_ thing is a product of _your_ imagination, and I _may not_ hex you for showing up in the middle of the night for no reason at all" He narrowed his eyes. "But I make no promises."

I smiled. Maybe he wasn't so angry after all. Or maybe he had recovered more quickly than usual.

"Enough talk," said Snape standing up. "You need to sleep."

"Alright," I said, moving my pillows so I could lay down on them.

Snape extinguished the light with a flick of his wand. "Goodnight, Armilla," he said, closing the door behind him.

"Goodnight, Severus."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

I woke to the sound of soft hooting. Slightly dazed, I shook my head, thinking I had dreamed the sound. No, there it was again. Something in the room was hooting insistently.

_Oh damn it_, I thought. Terry had obviously given me a hooting alarm clock to pay me back for the rooster alarm clock I had given him last year. I had thought it was very funny at the time.

I was already annoyed that Terry had even taken the pains to set the clock to wake me up early. The clock on my bedside table said that it was only seven o'clock. Grunting, I sat up, rubbing my eyes. The hooting got louder.

"Damn you, Terry," I muttered grumpily, as the room came into focus. I crawled forward to peer over the foot of my bed, looking for the clock so I could turn it off.

Instead, my eyes met two sparkling amber eyes. No, wait, brown eyes…no…green eyes? _What the hell?_

It was an owl! At least I _thought_ it was an owl. It kept changing its features though. One moment it was brown with white flecks, and then a split second later it was snowy white. Just when I decided that I preferred the snowy white, it turned black with ruffled feathers and looked quite fearsome. I didn't know what to make of the creature. At least I had located the source of the sound.

"Well, you're not an alarm clock," I muttered, eyeing the bird suspiciously.

"That's very _astute_ of you," said a deep voice. "Really, you're quite perceptive at this time of the morning."

I jumped. Snape was standing in the doorway, fully dressed, holding a small box.

He strode into the room and threw the box onto my bed. "Chocolate stars," he sneered. 'The man always delivers.'

"Well, obviously he thinks you like them," I said.

"No, he thinks it's funny," Snape corrected. "You can have them at any rate. I also received chocolate that I _do_ like. Thankyou."

"No problem," I replied, still eyeing the bird. "Do you think it will attack me if I let it out of the cage?"

"You never know," he replied, now eyeing the creature as well. "How many limbs do you want to spare?"

"I'd like to keep the ones I've got for now," I said, moving away.

Snape shook his head, smirking. "It's _meant_ to change form, Armilla," he said, pulling on my arm so I had to move closer to the owl again.

"It looks like it's having mood swings," I said. The owl was now pale pink and had shrunk down to the size of a baby owl.

"Well, I don't like_ that_ one," Snape muttered. The owl suddenly went emerald green and grew at an alarming rate to a fully sized owl again. It held out a leg with extremely sharp claws, as if wanting to show them off. "Oh, a _little_ better," he sneered.

"It _is_ an owl, isn't it?" I said, backing away as far as I could from the claws. I didn't get very far; Snape caught my arm before I had put a fair distance between myself and the cage.

"Yes, it's an owl," he said, looking amused at my reaction to the bird. "But, as you were so quick to figure out that it is not an _alarm clock_, I'm confident you would have noticed that it's not a common post owl."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't _look_ very common," I said, trying to pull myself further away as the owl grew even bigger and turned a nasty shade of orange, its sharp claws growing so long they curled.

To my frustration, Snape didn't let go. "She won't take on such…_unsightly_ forms if you don't wish her to after you've taken ownership of her."

"It's a _she_?" I exclaimed, as the now midnight blue owl produced some droppings.

"Indeed. I thought you would rather a female pet to a male," Snape said, smirking. "The males were actually a little more aggressive, which was surprising."

"And…_she_…won't attack me if I take ownership of her?" I asked, relenting on my struggle to get to the other side of the bed.

"That's correct. Though if you let her attack _me_ I shall change my mind about letting you keep her inside."

The owl went a snowy white again and shrunk down slightly. Liking these features more, I moved forward to have a closer look, and Snape finally let go.

"That's better," I said.

"You've _got_ to be kidding," said Snape, incredulously. "She was much more fearsome when she was black."

"But I don't want her to look fearsome," I said. "I like snowy owls. She reminds me of-"

"_Potter's_ owl?" Snape scowled.

"_No_," I said. "Matilda's owl."

Snape looked at me shrewdly. "Oh."

The owl turned a violent shade of purple and I changed my mind about being so close.

"It's called a Metamorphmagus Owl," Snape said.

"Metamorphmagus?" I repeated. That word sounded familiar. I had met someone back in the holidays who was one. She had had bubblegum pink hair at the time.

"Like Tonks?" I asked.

Snape rolled his eyes at the mention of the name. "Like Tonks," he asserted, "though perhaps not as clumsy."

"I didn't know animals could have that quality too."

"Generally they _don't_," he said. "Owls like this one are extremely hard to come by. Most witches and wizards have never even heard of them, which gives you an advantage."

I looked at him questioningly.

"Once you have claimed ownership of this owl," Snape went on, "she will remain loyal to you. She cannot be bewitched. Her flights cannot be intercepted, and she will attack if someone tries to take mail that isn't intended for them, unless you have given them permission to."

"Oh," I said, impressed, leaning forward again to look at the now magenta baby owl.

"Disgusting," Snape sneered at the bird, who promptly produced some droppings again.

"You can have the bird change form at your will, so that other people will think that you are always using a different owl when you send them mail," he continued. "Or you can have the owl assume a different form for each person you are in correspondence with. For example, if you decide to have this colour for Matilda," he gestured to the lime green owl, "the owl will arrive back to you in that colour and you will know straightaway who it is from. However, I would suggest that you choose a more natural colour. People will get suspicious."

"That's clever," I said, even more impressed with the bird now.

"It's very _useful_," said Snape. "You will always know when Father is sending you something. Also, while you are at Father's house, the owl could be delivering you letters in different forms, and Father will not think you are consistently getting mail from the same person."

I smiled at my brother. He was _such_ a Slytherin. He had really thought a lot about this.

"Of course,' he went on. "I will correspond with you that way, only writing trivial things so Father thinks I'm in contact with you. And you'll only write trivial things back. The chocolate frog card is a better means of communication while you're there."

Well that certainly put a downer on my mood. I was going to my father's house _tomorrow_.

"Don't think on it now, Armilla," said Snape, shaking his head. "You'll only make yourself depressed for the rest of the day. I_ may_ allow you to be depressed tonight."

I nodded.

"Easier said than done, I know," he said, frowning.

"So how do I take up ownership?" I asked, turning my gaze back to the owl.

"You point your wand at her and give her a name," he replied. "Think carefully though, once you've named her you can't change it. She won't answer to anything else."

"I don't know what to call an owl…" I started thinking of names that might suit. Henrietta? No. Gladys? No.

"Morag," I said suddenly.

Snape gave me an odd look. "Why Morag?"

"It's the first name my mind didn't reject."

He smirked. "Then please _don't_ tell me the names you rejected first."

I glared at him. "I can name her anything though," I said. "Would you prefer me to call her Fluffy?"

He stared at me. "Morag it is then," he said.

I reached over and picked up my wand from my bedside table. Pointing it directly at the bird, which now resembled something between a pigeon and a tawny owl, I said "Morag."

Immediately, the owl shrunk slightly and turned back to the snowy colour that I had admired before. She hooted at me once, flapping her wings slightly. She wasn't the size of a baby owl, but she wasn't huge by any means.

"I thought she might go back to that colour," I commented, getting off the bed and crouching down on the floor so I was level with Morag. "But why did she shrink? I didn't order that."

Snape looked down at me from his position on the bed. "Ah, well," he said, "this is just conjecture so don't accuse me of mocking you, but the owl has taken on an appearance of your liking…it is every possibility that she has taken on a size…to resemble your own."

"Then the _owl_ is mocking me," I muttered, glaring at Morag.

"How unfortunate," said Snape, sneering, "your situation in life becomes truly critical when magical creatures start making fun of you."

Ignoring the jibe, I opened the cage. Morag promptly hopped onto my outstretched hand, hooting softly. She looked up at me, her black eyes shining. I smiled down at her, thinking she was simply beautiful.

"Well this is certainly a change in confidence," said Snape mockingly. "A few minutes ago you wanted to be as far as you could get from that owl."

"That's when she was big and dark and had sharp claws," I muttered, stroking the bird's feathers.

Snape shook his head, as if teenage girls were an oddity he would never understand.

Morag suddenly flew from my arm and soared around the room. We watched as she circled it a few times before settling on top of my armoire, hooting quite loudly.

"How could you have thought from _that_ sound that you had received an _alarm clock_?" asked Snape, eyeing the owl with obvious uncertainty. I could tell he wasn't entirely sure about letting me keep the owl inside.

Suddenly embarrassed, I shifted from my crouching position on the floor so that I was now sitting cross-legged next to the cage. "Oh, I thought Terry was playing a joke," I said, trying to wave it off. We continued to watch Morag, who was now hopping about on the armoire. "But this is much better…thankyou," I said, really meaning it.

"That's fine," said Snape quietly, looking back at me. "As long as you look after her yourself; she is _your_ responsibility."

I nodded. He certainly had put a lot of thought into the gift. And it certainly beat money or stationary.

"Well, open everything else, then," said Snape. He sneered. "You never know, Mr. Boot might have gotten you something more _ridiculous_ than a hooting alarm clock."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Christmas morning seemed to fly by so quickly. After opening the rest of my presents - a box of strawberry filled chocolate from Matilda, a little box covered in moonstones that showed a picture of the weather outside when opened from Lisa (which Snape believed she got because there were no windows in his quarters), and a mooing alarm clock from Terry (which Snape said he would hex if he ever heard it in one of our homes) – I spent the rest of the morning training Morag to take on different appearances for different people I would send letters to. She happily turned into the colours I requested, unless she felt a certain colour suited that person. Taking Snape's advice, I made sure that the colours were natural, normal owl colours so people wouldn't be suspicious.

Morag seemed to insist on remaining the snowy white colour for corresponding with Snape and I wondered if she recognised him as my closest ally. I felt a momentary pang in my heart when I realised I could not set up a colour for Merle, but I pushed it aside. She had died and I had to deal with that.

Snape meanwhile, spent an hour before lunch with Dumbledore to discuss some sort of Order business. I knew that Mr. Weasley had been attacked at the Ministry recently and Dumbledore seemed to be a lot busier than usual.

When Snape returned, we walked up to the feast in the Great Hall together. The few Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students tensed slightly upon Snape's entrance, but he paid them no notice whatsoever. The Slytherins seemed intent on watching me, clearly wanting to observe all my interactions with my brother. They didn't take their eyes off me as Snape and I sat down next to each other at the table.

"Ah, Happy Christmas, Armilla!" said Dumbledore, his blue eyes sparkling, as he sat down near us at the head of the table.

"Happy Christmas, sir," I replied, returning his smile.

"I hear you received a truly remarkable owl," he said. "I myself received an extraordinary pair of canary yellow bed socks."

I smiled. The Headmaster seemed so eccentric at times.

To Snape's obvious annoyance, Professor Trelawney took the seat on the other side of him.

"Ah, Severus," she said, her eyes seeming enormous through her glasses. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Snape didn't answer. He must have inwardly pitied himself on having chosen that seat. I was glad at the very least that we were sitting at this end of the table because Umbridge was seated at the _other_ end.

"Yes," Trelawney went on, "The Inner Eye has foreseen that trouble awaits you in the form of a bird. It will cause you much anxiety."

"I'll stay away from the turkey then," said Snape, looking pointedly at the steaming turkey sitting on a dish in front of McGonagall.

McGonagall turned her laugh into a cough, and Trelawney looked quite put out. Snape simply smirked, revelling in his success at shutting her up.

What a ridiculous prediction. She had only said it because Dumbledore had just mentioned my owl.

Lunch went by quite smoothly, since Trelawney decided to talk to the sixth year Hufflepuff on the other side of her and ignore Snape completely. I noticed that Snape changed his mind and ate turkey anyway, earning himself a glare from the woman.

The Slytherins continued to watch me out of the corners of their eyes. Every time Snape spoke to me or I spoke to him, a couple of them even looked up, clearly interested in our relationship. One sixth year Slytherin stared at me so much that when he noticed that Snape was giving him a particularly nasty glare, he dropped his fork on the floor. Really, Slytherins were generally more subtle with their spying.

Snape still hadn't mentioned what I was supposed to be giving him for Christmas, and when I voiced this concern on the way back to the dungeons after the feast, he simply waved it aside again.

"You will find out soon enough," he said. "I may not receive it from you today. If not, I hope that I'll receive it in due course."

These words puzzled me beyond anything else – and worried me. What did he want from me that I might not be able to give? I wished he would just tell me. _Slytherin_.

Once back in the sitting room, Snape picked up his travelling cloak, scarf and gloves.

"Go and get all your things," he said. "Get Morag as well."

I didn't bother to ask where we were going. I didn't think he'd tell me. I complied with his order and returned a few moments later ready to go out into the snow, and struggling with a bad and cage.

Snape shrunk the bag and took the cage from me. We left the dungeons and made our way out into the castle grounds. It wasn't until we had walked outside the school gates that I asked where we were going.

"Home," Snape replied. "We're staying there tonight."

That was a nice surprise. As much as I liked Hogwarts, I liked the Merrigan Estate even more.

"Come," said Snape, holding a hand out. "We're Apparating there."

I took hold of his hand.

"Hold on tightly," he said. "I have to hold onto you _and_ your owl."

o o o o o o o o o o o

Docky was simply overjoyed to see us. He had little jingle bells tied to his ears and so we could hear him moving around the house. I privately gave Snape credit for not hexing the bells right of the elf's ears, but I knew he was sorely tempted to as soon as he saw them.

While Snape went to his study, I went upstairs to my bedroom. It was exactly as I had left it of course, but seeing it made me really happy for some reason. As long as I didn't look in the direction of the piano too much (that was the most painful corner of the room), the room brought me happiness.

Docky came in after an hour, wanting to chat about "Miss Hazel" and tell stories about her childhood. I was happy to sit and listen to him, and I made every effort to ignore the irritating jingling noise I heard every time the elf moved.

At around five o'clock, Snape came in, having completed whatever he had needed to do in his study.

"Off you go, Docky," he said, sneering at the jingling noise.

"Yes, Master Severus!" squeaked Docky, and he hopped on one foot all the way out of the room.

"Damn hyperactive elf," Snape muttered, glaring after the elf.

"When am I going to find out what I am supposed to be giving you?" I asked.

"Right now," he replied. "Come."

I was surprised when Snape led the way into the little room off my bedroom that held my mother's old books. I watched as Snape started rifling through a sheaf of very thin old books on one of the shelves.

"I thought you didn't know what books are kept in here," I said, looking around the room. I still hadn't explored the room yet. I had decided to leave that for the summer holidays.

"I don't," Snape murmured, "I'm just guessing that what I want is in here somewhere."

"Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted one of Mother's books?" I asked, thinking it odd that Snape seemed so intent on finding a certain book for himself.

Snape stopped rifling long enough to cast me a glare. "I don't want one of her books," he scoffed. "It's what I want _you_ to do with one of them."

Well, _that_ was interesting. Maybe the book held some charm he wanted me to perform or something…no, that didn't seem right…it seemed odd.

"Ah, here it is," he said finally, pulling a thin spiral bound book with a blue velvet cover from the shelf. "This is the last of many, I believe," he said, looking at the cover. "Father destroyed the others."

At my bewildered look, Snape held the book out to me, his expression unfathomable.

Taking it, I looked down at the cover. The blue velvet had small rips in places and the book didn't appear to have a title. I opened it and saw a contents list on the page. There was a list of both wizard and muggle composers along with the names of pieces of their classical music.

I started turning the pages slowly and my heart flipped as I saw page after page of music manuscripts. This was my mother's last remaining music book. My heart sped up even more when I saw pieces of music I recognised by sight without even viewing the title because I had played them so much. A flood of memories, both happy and miserable was washing over me and threatening to overwhelm me. Shar's face came back into my mind as I turned every page with a shaking hand.

Having felt Snape's eyes on me for awhile, I finally looked up, thinking that I could no longer avoid his gaze.

"If it is asking too much of you, you may say so," he said, watching me closely. "However I have the hope that you will sit down at that piano one day and actually play." He walked back into my bedroom.

After a moment I followed, still holding the book with trembling hands.

"And when you do," Snape said, "I shall have my Christmas present." His face held a truly enigmatic expression, and I couldn't fathom why my playing meant so much to him.

"I…didn't think you liked music," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "How…how is that a proper Christmas present?"

Snape looked down at me, considering the question for a moment. "I generally do not take much pleasure in music," he admitted. "But it is a proper Christmas present because I believe the key to you moving on with your life revolves around playing that piano."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking over at the piano in the corner.

"The longer you avoid that piano, the longer bad memories will haunt you," Snape continued. "You've let bad memories of Shar overwhelm you and stop you doing something you enjoy. You will not be rid of them until you conquer them."

I swallowed again, knowing that he was right and not wanting to admit it.

"And you _shall _conquer them," Snape said softly, not taking his black eyes off mine.

"I still don't see how playing it is a present for _you_," I said, wanting to avoid going anywhere near the piano.

Snape was silent for a moment. When he spoke, it was in a measured, quiet tone.

"It is a present for _me_ because I will know that you will have closure on a painful issue that has been plaguing you for some time…and in that closure _I_ will find a sense of contentment because _you_ will have found peace at last."

I looked back at the piano, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

"You don't have to play today," Snape whispered. "Just try sitting there."

Nodding slightly, I slowly approached the piano and gingerly sat down. Snape came to stand closer by, as I lifted the lid to look at the keys.

"Well that's the first step," he said. "How long has it been since you last sat at a piano?"

"Too long," I murmured, reaching out to touch a key. As I did, Shar's face suddenly dominated my thoughts and I withdrew my hand quickly.

"It may take time," said Snape, folding his arms.

I shook my head. "_No_," I said. I could feel anger boiling inside me. Shar didn't have the _right _to stop me playing. Thinking that he did and letting his face overwhelm me made me angrier. "No," I repeated. "I want to do this _now_."

Snape was silent.

I reached out to touch a key again, and the same image as before overtook my mind. But I touched the key anyway in defiance. The sound of middle C didn't make the image vanish, but it did flicker slightly. I was going to do this. I was going to be rid of that maniac once and for all.

"If you're going to do this now, pick something," said Snape quietly, leaning against the back of an armchair.

I opened the book again and looked over songs that were familiar to me. One of them caught my eye straight away. Bach's _Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring_. It was a song by a muggle composer and I had never played it for Shar because it was my favourite. I had only ever played it for myself. And I hadn't played it in so long…

I displayed the book on the piano so I could read it as I played, even though I was pretty sure I still knew it by heart. Reaching out to touch the keys again, my heart started pounding as both Merle and Shar appeared in my mind. I hadn't even played two bars before I fumbled.

"You know that you _don't_ have to do this_ now_," Snape reminded me, frowning slightly.

"No, I _do_," I insisted angrily. If I could conquer this obstacle, I would have the confidence to face others. And since I was going to my Father's house tomorrow, that thought meant a lot to me.

"Very well," he said. He became silent again.

I was going to do this.

And I did.

I played the song the whole way through, finding more and more pleasure from it as the song progressed. Shar wasn't far from my mind the entire time, but my determination to get through the song seemed to push his face into the background. I had forgotten how much inward joy I got from playing the song and when the song ended, I just sat there, staring at the keys. I could barely believe that I had done it, and I was still shivering with nerves from the prospect of sitting at the piano in the first place.

Finally, resurfacing from my thoughts, I looked up at Snape, who was still leaning against the armchair with his arms folded.

He looked paler than usual, and his black eyes glittered strangely. He didn't look angry, but something had clearly disturbed him.

"Was it that _bad_?" I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious since I hadn't played in so long.

Snape didn't answer at first. He seemed lost in his own thoughts. Finally, he looked up.

"No, there was nothing wrong with it," he said, coming out of his reverie. "It was very well done."

I continued to look at him, troubled by his expression. Something wasn't right.

A split second later, Snape had resumed his usual unreadable expression.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"I…don't know," I said honestly. "A bit strange."

Snape nodded, and I knew that he understood.

"I'm glad you went through with it," he said, straightening up and moving towards the door.

An invisible string tugged on my heart as he opened the door.

"Wasn't it worth it?" I asked. Maybe it hadn't given him the contentment he had wanted after all. That wasn't much of a Christmas present.

Snape turned around to look at me, his hand on the door handle. His face was still inscrutable.

"Oh, no," he said. "It was worth it…Excuse me."

And with that, he left.

o o o o o o o o o o o

I felt more nervous than ever before. Something about my playing had really hit a nerve with Snape and it bothered me that he had seemed so disconcerted.

I had gotten up from the piano after Snape had left the room, my confidence fading with my anxiety. I sat down in the armchair Snape had been leaning against, completely lost in thought and racking my brain with answers for Snape's reaction. Mother had mentioned playing to Snape when he was very little, but I didn't think Snape would even remember that. He had seemed to have lost interest anyway, according to her.

It wasn't until Docky came in to announce that dinner was served that I received a clue.

Upon seeing the lid of the piano still lifted, Docky bounded over to the piano, exclaiming his joy that it was being played again. He had started raving on about my mother's playing when his eyes fell upon the music book, which was now closed.

"That is the last music book Miss Hazel had," he said, staring up at the book. "Docky has not seen it in many years. Miss Hazel's husband destroyed the others in a temper, but he never found this one."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because Master Severus hid it when he was three."

Suddenly, a memory I had forgotten I even had came rushing to the front of my mind. There were blasts of light coming from my father's wand as my mother yelled with tears of anger. In the background, a very small child, my brother, was on the floor, crying. Behind him was the very same piano I had just been playing.

I couldn't believe I had pushed that memory away. It was only a glimpse I had of it anyway and it was only now that I remembered that there even was a piano in the background. I hadn't thought it significant the first time I had viewed that memory of Snape's in one of our Occlumency lessons. Snape had been quick to stop me viewing the memory and I had pushed it into the back of my mind as we had moved on the something else.

"Docky," I said quietly. "Did Severus ever listen to his mother play the piano?"

Docky beamed. "Oh, _yes_, Miss Armilla, but he stopped listening after he hid that book."

"When he was three?" I asked.

Docky nodded, his ears drooping.

"Did he…enjoy it up until then?" I asked, feeling the lump rise in my throat again.

"Yes, Miss Armilla," he answered. "But he was only ever wanting to hear his mother play one song, or he would refuse to listen."

My heart skipped a beat.

"What song was that, Docky?" I knew I didn't really need to ask. I was certain I already knew the answer.

The elf gave a small smile as he answered.

"_Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring_."


	40. An Apology

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 39

I barely remembered making my way down to the breakfast room for dinner. My mind was so deeply engaged in what Docky had just revealed. The song had certainly awoken an old buried memory for Snape. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if _Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring_ had been just one of many songs that Mother had played for him as a small child. But as a three-year-old child, Snape had been insistent that his mother play only _this_ song for him. He would have no other.

What irked me more was that I had always loved playing the song more than any other. It had always given me an unexplainable sense of joy. Snape had admitted that he didn't find pleasure in music, but he evidently had a long time ago. I wondered if Snape had tried to stop his mother playing in an attempt to stop Father yelling at her. The whole ordeal made my chest feel tight; my heart was feeling something I hadn't felt before…

I was nervous about seeing Snape at dinner. It was weird circumstances in which he had left before. He had seemed pretty intent on wanting to be alone, but he hadn't seemed angry at all. Even so, I didn't know whether to mention the gift or pretend that it had never happened.

My presence in the breakfast room was announced by the sound of Docky's jingle bells, as he preceded me into the room. Snape looked up from where he was seated at the head of the table.

"I do think we've had enough bells for one day, Docky," he said, sneering slightly.

"Jingle bells bring Christmas spirit, Master Severus," Docky squeaked, shaking his head to emphasise the noise.

Snape closed his eyes in annoyance, pursing his lips. I would have bet ten galleons that he was trying to find a good argument in favour of hexing the elf.

Docky suddenly fell over, having shaken his head so vigorously that he had become dizzy. Snape opened his eyes and heaved a great sigh, shaking his head now.

"Why don't you put them away for next year, Docky," I said, when Docky stood up again, stumbling slightly.

"Or bury them," Snape muttered.

Docky blinked. "Put them away Miss Armilla?" he asked. "Do you think Docky has jingled enough for one day?"

"I do," I said, trying not to laugh.

"Personally, I think you have…_jingled_…enough for a lifetime," said Snape, glaring at the elf as he picked up his knife and fork.

"Yes, Master Severus," said Docky, bowing deeply. "Docky won't jingle again unless you request it."

Snape scoffed.

Docky gave him a broad smile. "Docky will return to the kitchen now, Master Severus."

"Yes, _that_ would be prudent," Snape replied, picking up his wine glass.

Docky bowed again and flounced from the room.

We ate in silence for several minutes. I didn't want to bring up the situation from before, and the only other issue on my mind was my increasing nerves about the next day. I didn't really want to bring that up either. Snape knew I was nervous, but I didn't want to complain about something that would only last until New Year's Day, when I could return to Snape again. Snape had endured a whole childhood of my father after all, not a week.

"I think we should discuss the forthcoming week," said Snape finally. "I said earlier that you will use your owl to communicate trivial things to me. I have no doubt that Father will expect us to communicate, so it will not be a problem if he sees you using your owl."

I nodded.

"You are to carry the chocolate frog card on you at all times. That is _very_ important. If it is possible, only send me updates late at night when you are sure that Father and Jiffy have gone to bed. I have charmed the card anyway so that it will repel unwelcome people viewing it. Even so, only send me messages during the day if it is really necessary."

He paused and gave me a stern look. "Though I will expect to hear from you _every_ night and there will be trouble if you _don't_."

Again, I just nodded. I was starting to feel queasy now, and my dinner didn't seem so inviting anymore.

"And in extraordinary circumstances," Snape continued, watching my closely, "I hope you are still wearing that pearl?"

"I am," I said quietly.

He nodded. "Good. Then we will talk about this…_gathering _Father is having for you." His expression became most ill-natured.

Not wanting any more food, I put my knife and fork down, meeting my brother's gaze.

"Father will have invited only pureblood witches and wizards of course," he said, his black eyes glittering. "I have no doubt that they will all be extremely interested in you."

Queasy…oh so nauseous.

"I daresay that Father will not let you out of his sight while there are so many wizards around," Snape went on, his tone very measured. "But in any case, stay within his sight for the whole evening…"

Suddenly understanding the point that Snape was trying to make, my stomach lurched and I was glad that I hadn't eaten more.

"What if he gives orders for me to go elsewhere?" I asked timidly.

Snape frowned. "I doubt that he _would_," he said thoughtfully. "Not while there are so many people around. He would want to keep track of you at all times. But if he does, you will have your wand to defend yourself…in case a situation arises where you need to defend yourself."

I thought I did quite well to conceal the horror that I felt inside from my face. I did not want to go tomorrow…I did not want to go…

"You have to be on your guard at all times," he went on, "especially when it comes to my role. As far as you know, I am a double-agent for the Dark Lord. You will be occluding the whole time you are there of course. It will be emotionally tiring to do that, but certainly necessary."

I nodded, the intense feeling in my stomach not getting any weaker.

"On the bright side," said Snape, putting his own knife and fork down, "hopefully the days will pass quickly. I will come and collect you on New Year's Day and then you won't have to worry about seeing Father again until the summer."

New Year's Day seemed so far away right now and all I wanted was for it to arrive.

"Are you going back to Hogwarts tomorrow?" I asked. I wouldn't see the inside of Hogwarts until the New Year.

He shook his head. "Perhaps the day after," he said. "I have some business to attend to in the meantime."

Business? For the Order? For You-Know-Who? I knew it was certainly not my place to ask.

"I do hope you are going to finish your meal," said Snape, looking pointedly at my half-finished plate of food.

"No," I said quietly. "I'm not hungry."

He stared at me, his black eyes fixed on mine.

"I would prefer it if you ate more, but I suppose it is understandable," he said finally. He stood up. "Come."

I had been expecting to spend the night alone in my room. I knew from my time staying in Snape's quarters at Hogwarts that he never felt the need to entertain me. That proved we were family. He generally left me to myself unless we had things to talk about.

I followed him out of the room, down the corridor and into the sitting room where we had practised duelling and Occlumency once before. As soon as I entered I drew my wand in case Snape was planning a surprise attack.

Snape didn't draw his however, but when he turned and saw mine in my hand he gave a small smile.

"Ah, I've certainly taught you well," he said, sitting down on a sofa. "I wasn't planning on another lesson tonight…_or_ a sudden attack," he gave me a pointed look, "so you may put your wand away and come and sit down."

I complied, wondering what Snape wanted to talk about. He suddenly seemed a bit disconcerted, as he had been earlier when I had played for him. This anxious expression only lasted a split second though, for a moment later it was replaced with a more familiar frown. He now seemed angry about something and I suddenly started racking my brains for what I could have done to offend him in the last few minutes.

"The reason for what I am going to say," Snape began, his eyes narrowed slightly, "is that I am ardently avoiding branding myself a hypocrite."

_What the? Hypocrite? _Alright, maybe this _wasn't_ going to be about something _I_ had done…hmm, strange…

Though he still seemed ill-tempered, Snape showed a small sign of discomfort as he shifted slightly on the sofa.

"I made it very clear to you recently that I want nothing but honesty," he went on, his tone quite hard. "In that, I meant you are not to hide even little anxieties from me just because you might feel that they are not worth my notice." He paused, scowling slightly.

Oh…maybe this _was_ about me then…but I hadn't hidden anything from him today…well maybe an upset stomach at dinner…nothing to lecture me about…but why the hypocrite talk? Now it was _my_ turn to shift uncomfortably.

"Therefore," he continued, "I feel it is only logical that when it comes to our relationship, _I_ should be honest with _you_ as well."

Okay, now it was undoubtedly about _him_. This was certainly interesting. Snape didn't tell me everything about his life for good reason: it was too dangerous. But otherwise I had just assumed that he was always honest with me. He wasn't one for making up sensationalised tales to protect people.

"For that reason, I believe I owe you an apology," he said in a low, but very clear voice.

I had a sudden urge to pinch myself. I must be dreaming. I could have sworn that Snape had just said he owed _me_ an apology!

"You couldn't," I said incredulously.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I…don't see how…" _Stop talking, Armilla_. Let the man finish.

"I left your bedroom rather hastily before, after I had asked you to play," he said. "It was rather discourteous on my part and an insult to your performance."

Now I couldn't believe my ears. Snape, who probably made it his mission to insult every student who entered Hogwarts at least once, was admitting to rudeness…in his own eloquent way.

I shrugged. "It was only average playing anyway," I said. "I hadn't played in a long time."

Snape shook his head. "No, it _wasn't_ average playing, and I think you know that underneath. You possess more talent than you realise. However, I would not mention this gift to Father."

Yes, now I _was_ most certainly dreaming. An apology and a compliment in the one conversation? Impossible!

"Why did you choose to play that particular song?" Snape asked in a low voice.

"It's always been my favourite," I replied honestly. "Though I think you're the first person I've ever played it for."

"Oh I'm _flattered_," he said, smirking slightly. I smiled at his jibe.

"Though," I went on, thinking that saying what I felt about this was necessary, "I wouldn't have played it if I had known…" hmm, how to finish _that_ sentence…think, _think_… "if I had known it was something you didn't particularly wish to hear." Yes, that would do.

Snape considered this for a moment, frowning slightly.

"I never said I didn't wish to hear it," he said. "I hadn't heard it in such a long time…I suppose hearing it again caught me by surprise." He suddenly glared at me suspiciously. "What gave you the impression that I didn't wish to hear it?"

I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to cause trouble for Docky. His bells had already irritated Snape enough for one day. As it turned out, I didn't need to answer. As usual, Snape put two and two together.

"Ah…_Docky_," he said in a hard voice.

"Don't blame Docky," I said quickly.

"You like that damn elf, don't you?" he sneered, folding his arms.

"I do," I said evenly.

Snape shook his head. "Well, what is past is past," he said. "I did associate a bad memory with that song and as a result I have lost any interest I might have once possessed in music."

"I won't play it again," I said quietly. "I don't want to cause things like that."

"_No_," said Snape harshly, "that is no reason for you to stop playing it. What did I tell you before about conquering bad memories?" He paused and gave me a hard look. "I do hope that now you might consider taking up playing again for your own sake."

"Maybe," I said quietly.

"If you enjoy it, there is no reason now to stop. I stopped listening about thirty-three years ago, but Mother never stopped playing."

I nodded.

"And so I _am_ sorry that I left you so quickly after you finished," he finished, standing up. "It was not a reflection on your playing, but merely on my own issues." He looked down at me with a stern expression. "Is that alright?"

"Yes," I said, standing up too.

Snape nodded curtly. "Good. Come with me then."

I followed him out of the room and into his potions lab. The atmosphere reminded me very much of the dungeons at Hogwarts. Snape unlocked a cupboard with his wand and selected a light blue milky potion from one of the shelves. He picked up a glass from a nearby table and poured a small amount into it.

"Here," he said, holding the glass out to me, "drink this."

I took the glass from him, but hesitated before I drank it. "What is it?" I asked.

"It's the alternative to eating your dinner," he said simply, resealing the bottle and placing it back on the shelf. "I told you a long time ago that you were to eat every meal I gave you." He fixed me with a stern look.

I thought back to the time when he had told me that. It seemed like ages and ages ago. I had skipped a meal in favour of searching for Emiliana McGonagall or a puddle or something…

"I understand that the prospect of food is not attractive to you when you are thinking about tomorrow," Snape went on, "but that does not mean that you can skip a meal." His tone told me that he was not going to relent on this issue. "That potion will provide you with the necessary supplements that your dinner would have…and it won't make you want to be sick," he added as an afterthought.

I stared at him. Gosh, the man was stubborn. It was only one meal. Better not let him know that I often skipped breakfast in favour of sleeping in…

Snape gave me a pointed look. "Well?" he said silkily.

I couldn't help glaring at him before I downed the potion. It tasted a bit like Pepper-Up potion; certainly not the nicest drink in the world.

"Don't look at me like that," said Snape harshly, taking the glass from my hand. "Did you even notice that the feeling in your stomach that prevented you eating dinner is now gone?"

He was right. The potion _had_ fixed that too. He just loved being right.

"Yes," I said quietly. "Thankyou."

Snape merely grunted as he closed the cupboard door.

"I need to contact Dumbledore now," he said, moving into his study. "You are excused."

I left the room and went back upstairs. I didn't know why, but my eyes were stinging with tears as I walked into my bedroom. Sometimes I couldn't even justify my feelings to myself.

I felt no inclination to sit down at the piano again tonight. Once was enough for today and I had a feeling the tears would come out if I started playing again.

It was too early to go to bed, but there was nothing that I wanted to do. I was only going to get distracted, no matter what I did. I couldn't help feeling depressed about having to go to Father's house the next day. Snape wasn't the most exciting or friendliest person in the world, but I felt safe with him. The prospect of going to Father's house made me feel as if I was stepping outside an aura of security I had subconsciously made in my mind after spending so much time with my brother.

I took a shower and made sure all my things were in order for tomorrow. I made sure Morag had food and water and spent some time stroking her feathers, lost in thought.

Finally, at eight o'clock, I fell into bed, feeling absolutely exhausted. It had been a long day and I wanted very much to sleep. But if I fell asleep, the next time I would be awake would be the day I had to go to Father's house. As immature as it sounded, I didn't want to fall asleep because I didn't want the next day to come. It didn't help that I was already in bed, because my eyes kept closing of their own accord.

Half an hour later I was still awake though, and feeling very sleepy. I could hear Morag hooting very softly from her position on top of my desk at the other side of the room. It was such a thoughtful gift. Snape had certainly been thinking for awhile about getting Morag for me. It was nice to have a pet of my own.

Just as I felt myself drifting off again, the door to my bedroom opened slightly and Snape came in. He obviously hadn't been expecting my room to be in darkness already because a moment later, I saw a faint glow coming from his wand as he made his way over to my bed.

"This _is_ early for you," he said. "I take it you found nothing to do to keep your mind off things?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I was tired."

"I know. Tired and miserable?"

I was glad the only light in the room was the very faint glow coming from Snape's wand because when he said those words, the tears welled up in my eyes again. I didn't want him to see, not after he had gone to so much trouble to make Christmas a nice day.

Unfortunately, he must have seen, because a moment later he sat down next to me, his face unfathomable.

"I did tell you this morning that I might allow you to be depressed tonight," he said quietly. "I do not pretend that you are not about to face a hardship, Armilla."

I wiped away a tear, trying to blink away others that were threatening to fall.

"I can say with sincerity though," he went on, politely ignoring my tears, "that I feel you will cope well once you are there. At the moment your anxiety stems from the pressure of the past few weeks and fear of the unknown. It may seem like you are nearly at the climax of what we have been preparing for."

Snape had told me that he didn't use Legilimency on me. But since I had let my guard down whilst in his company, he could certainly read me like a book. And I was certain he could do that now without using any magic.

"You may find that you will have a much easier time than you are anticipating at the moment. Or you could face a number of difficult situations."

I swallowed, willing the lump in my throat to go away.

Snape reached over and placed his hand over my left so that the tips of his fingers touched my bracelet. The warmth I felt was no longer startling or uncomfortable, but comforting.

"Either way, no matter how isolated you might feel during the next week, do not for one second assume that you are alone in all this," he said softly.

I used my right hand to wipe away another tear. He always chose my most vulnerable moments to talk like this…

"After all," he said, smirking slightly, "I don't particularly want to leave you there tomorrow. I would rather you return to Hogwarts with me."

"If the Dark Lord wasn't around anymore…wouldn't there be a way to prove that Father isn't a suitable parent?" I asked. I knew it was a bit of a silly question and there was no point in asking a question like that now. Snape didn't scoff at it, but his expression did grow hard.

"Oh I _assure_ you," he said. "If the Dark Lord became no more tomorrow, I would make it my mission to have you removed from my father's grasp forever and have you completely in _my_ custody." He paused, looking down at me fixedly. "But to attempt something like that _now_ would be extremely dangerous and utterly foolish for all of us. Father is also held in high esteem by the Dark Lord."

I nodded my understanding. Snape was doing the best he could. I didn't think I would be able to fathom the amount of stress the whole situation would give him.

Morag started hooting from her position at the other side of the room.

Snape glanced over his shoulder, squinting into the darkness.

"Is that noise going to keep you awake? If so we'll find another place to keep her."

"No," I said quickly, wiping my eyes with my right hand. "I like having her in here."

Snape nodded. "A suitable gift then?"

I nodded. "I couldn't have asked for better," I said softly. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to ask something else.

Snape sighed, letting go of my left hand. "Yes? What is it?"

"Docky…"

He gave a grim smile. "Ah. You're going to ask me _not _to chastise him about giving you details about something when it was not his place to?"

I gave a watery smile. "Something along those lines, yes."

"Indeed. I'll consider it, but I make no promises."

"He cares about you, you know."

Snape scoffed. "A little too much at times. I told him last year that if he ever gave me a _musical_ birthday card again I would give him clothes."

I stifled a laugh. At least _that_ brought an end to the tears.

Snape gave me a half-hearted glare. "Glad you found that so amusing."

"Would you_ really_ give him clothes?"

"No, I suppose not…though sometimes I do entertain that thought. He's been with the family so long." He narrowed his eyes at me. "But now I believe that you wouldn't forgive me if I did let him go."

"In my defence, he's not a_ bad_ elf," I said.

"No…just even more irritating than your average Gryffindor."

I didn't really find the Gryffindors that irritating. I got on well with a couple of the girls from that house in my year. But I thought it would change Snape's mood to downright nasty if I said so. Hating Gryffindors seemed to be a pastime of his.

"When_ is_ your birthday?" I asked. I hadn't actually thought about that before. I hoped it was a long way off so I wouldn't have to spend hours trying to think up a suitable present again.

"January ninth," he replied.

_Damn. _From what he had said before about not listening to music for thirty-three years, I assumed that he was turning thirty-six soon. He was twenty and a half years older than I.

"Keep that to yourself though," he said. "I generally try to have it pass unnoticed."

"You don't receive chocolate stars then?" I asked with a small smile. It was strange how I couldn't find a way to distract myself from moping before. Talking to Snape seemed to do it.

Snape sneered at the thought. "No, but Dumbledore does remember every year. Last year he ordered a rainbow ice cream cake for the staffroom. I have yet to forgive him for that."

I smiled, succeeding in not laughing this time. That _would_ have been embarrassing for him.

"What time do we have to be there tomorrow?" I asked.

"Father sent me a letter earlier," he answered, scowling like he always did when thinking of Father. "He has decided to go visiting in the morning, but he will be expecting you at midday. As far as I know, you will be having Christmas lunch with him tomorrow afternoon."

"How are we getting there?"

"This house is not connected to the Floo Network. We will take the carriage to the edge of the forest and then disapparate. If we leave here at about eleven-thirty we should have plenty of time."

I started feeling low again. This was really happening. That dreaded time was coming so soon.

"Time to sleep now," said Snape softly, "not time to think about tomorrow."

I nodded. I waited for him to get up and leave like he had done last night. But he made no move to leave. I supposed he was going to stay until I fell asleep again, like he had done the night I had had a bad dream.

Snape seemed to be waiting for something. He raised an eyebrow. "You do remember how to sleep don't you? Close your eyes. Wait-" He turned slightly at glanced towards the foot of the bed. "You remembered to take your shoes off didn't you?"

"_Yes_," I said, feeling a little exasperated. He was never going to let that go…

"Well then, close your eyes." He laid his hand over my left hand again.

I closed my eyes, wondering if Snape was going to use a charm like he had last time.

He didn't. He just sat there and waited until I drifted off…

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Eleven-thirty came too soon the next morning. Snape had spent the morning providing more distractions in an attempt to limit my anxiety. He even made a point of not insulting Docky once while we were eating breakfast. We spent a couple of hours walking around the extensive grounds in the snow and Snape took particular pride in showing me inside his greenhouse, where he grew all sorts of herbs and things he required for complex potions. I imagined that Snape's extensive range of plants far outweighed even Professor Sprout's collection.

When the dreaded moment finally came, we put on our cloaks, gloves and scarves. Snape shrank my bag and Morag's cage. He said he would send Morag later in the day.

I bid Docky goodbye and got into the carriage with Snape, my anxiety at an all time peak. I did feel like I could handle whatever life threw at me in the next week, but my nerves were there just the same.

Snape kept his sarcastic remarks to a minimum, an extraordinary feat in my opinion. But for once, he wasn't silent for the duration of the trip. I think he kept talking to me to distract himself from his anxiety as well as mine.

When we arrived at the edge of the forest, my heart started thumping at an alarming rate. I tripped on the last step when I got out of the carriage. Luckily Snape had gotten out first and caught my arm to stop me falling.

"Thanks," I mumbled, starting to feel queasy again.

Snape didn't answer. He didn't let go. He slid his gloved hand down so that he was holding mine and together we walked the short distance to the forest clearing in silence. When there was nothing left to do but disapparate, I held onto Snape's hand more tightly, preparing myself.

Snape didn't seem ready to go. "Wait," he said quietly. "Do you remember all the instructions I have given you?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything else you need to know before we go?"

I shook my head.

"You have the chocolate frog card on you?"

"Yes."

"Very well-" He paused, looking down at me closely, his black eyes like two dark tunnels. He took my other hand, preparing to disapparate. "Good luck."


	41. The Role of a Pureblood Witch

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 40

We apparated in a deserted country lane. I didn't know how far we were from the Merrigan Estate, but evidently the Snape Estate was also located in the country. I hadn't seen the outside of the house before, so nothing around me was familiar. We were standing at the edge of a dirt road surrounded by trees.

After I steadied myself upon landing, I didn't let go of Snape's hands right away. Holding on just that little bit longer seemed to give me just a tiny bit more courage. He didn't let go straightaway either and I wondered if he was having a hard time himself contemplating the coming events of the next week. I realised that it would be hard for him too, considering that he would have to wait for me to contact him late at night to find out if I was alright. He wasn't an affectionate person, but he certainly was protective.

"Let's go then," said Snape quietly turning to walk along the road.

I walked along beside him, knowing not to discuss any important information now that we were in close proximity to the house. With every step, my heart pumped faster and felt like it was getting bigger and bigger. In an attempt to control it, I concentrated on occluding. I put the strongest defence up I had, so that my mind was completely free of emotion. My heart rate seemed to slow down a little and I felt a bit more encouraged that I would be able to handle things. It wasn't like it was definite that I would have a really bad time at all. Snape and I had been preparing for bad situations, but the next week could pass more smoothly than anticipated.

We rounded a corner and the road became straight, thought it was still lined with many trees. Looking up, the road finished up in the distance where it met huge iron gates. Beyond these gates, further along a long path, was the house itself. The house's exterior seemed to be my father personified. Its bricks were a very dark grey, and the many long narrow windows had curtains drawn behind the glass. The path itself was dark cobblestone and the numerous tall trees caused many shadows over the grounds and the house itself, even though they had lost their leaves. All in all, it seemed world would become a lot darker once I was beyond those gates.

The house was certainly very grand, but it looked more forbidding and imposing rather than elegant, like the Merrigan Estate. I wondered how my mother would have felt coming to live here upon her marriage all those years ago. I understood Snape a little bit more just in those last steps up to the main gates.

As if the gates had sensed our presence, they opened of their own accord when we reached them. Passing through, I felt a small sense of loss, but I quickly renewed my grasp on the steel barrier in my mind. No time for weakness now. I had to be emotionless for the next week to come. What a task. I wondered how Snape did it so well. I supposed he was used to it; he had probably occluded for years before leaving home.

We walked up the small flight of stone steps and approached the front door in silence. It creaked open and Jiffy came into view, the expression on his wrinkly face as horrid as ever.

"Jiffy wishes Miss Armilla a happy Christmas," he said, bowing slightly.

I didn't answer. It was such a change from Docky. Instead of dealing with an over-excited house elf for the coming week, I would be dealing with a bad tempered, ugly little wart.

Snape sneered down at Jiffy, his expression equally as ill natured.

"You wish her no such thing, elf," he said acidly. "Step aside so that we may pass through."

Jiffy straightened up, glaring at Snape with an expression of the utmost contempt.

"Miss Armilla may pass through, but her traitor brother has not been invited here," he said scornfully.

Snape's eyes flashed, and I knew he must be having a terrible time trying to refrain from cursing the foul creature.

"I was even admitted into the breakfast room the last time I had the pleasure of being here, elf," he spat, "so unless you want to be the victim of a _lovely_ new range of hexes, I suggest you let us _both_ pass."

Jiffy bowed again as he moved aside. "As you wish," he muttered. "Filthy _traitor_…"

Snape's lip curled as he led me into the entrance hall. Because the long windows were very narrow, only a small amount of light was cast over the hall. The black marble floor shone with cleanliness. At the other end of the hall was a grand staircase that split into two more staircases halfway up, so that each led to different sides of the house.

The walls had several portraits of snoozing figures leaning against their frames. I knew that they must be Snape's, no, _our_ ancestors just by all the hooked noses, pale skin and dark hair that I could see.

"My master is in the drawing room," Jiffy announced, and he swept off down a hallway on the left side of the hall. Snape and I followed, and I concentrated harder than ever on the barrier in my mind. My mind was going to be so burnt out this time next week…

Our footsteps echoed on the marble floor as we passed a few closed doors. A couple of the people in the paintings in the hallway were awake, and they whispered as we passed. I caught a few of the muffled words, the most popular being "_Oh, she's very like Mrs. Snape, isn't she?"_ and "_No, she's darker like her father and Severus, how can you suggest such a thing!?"_

I followed Snape's lead and pretended that I hadn't heard them as we passed. At the end of the hallway were a set of wide double doors, which Jiffy opened.

"Master Severus and Miss Armilla, Master," he said, bowing low.

Snape and I stepped into the room. It was very like the parlour I had been in on the last visit, except that this room was significantly larger, but certainly not lighter. The polished floor was largely covered by an ornate deep green and black rug. There were three large sofas arranged around a large and elaborate coffee table, upon which stood a number of magical ornaments I didn't recognise. In a corner was a small games table with four chairs. And at the other side of the room, sitting in a large black leather armchair by the huge fireplace, was my father. At Jiffy's announcement, he had looked up from his _Daily Prophet. _His cold black eyes scanned over Snape and I, taking in each of us at turn. He was wearing black and grey robes, and his long dark grey hair hung loosely down his back.

"Ah," he said softly, putting his newspaper aside. "Ah, and so you have come, _my children_." He sounded as if he had spotted his prey.

Snape walked further into the room and I followed close by.

Father got up and approached us. "Leave, Jiffy," he said, glancing down at the elf as he came to a halt right next to me.

Jiffy muttered a reply and swaggered from the room. He was the most arrogant house elf I had ever met.

Father leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I did very well not to cringe, though on my left, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the fingers of Snape's right hand flexing like he was itching to grab something…or someone…

"Happy Christmas, my dear," said Father, straightening up again.

I wondered whether I was supposed to kiss him back, and decided against it.

"Happy Christmas," I replied quietly, meeting his gaze. I didn't mean it at all, but I was doing well to sound polite.

Father looked pointedly at Snape and gave a curt nod. "Well, I don't see any reason for _you_ to stay any longer, Severus," he said coldly. "I believe _my_ short time with _my_ daughter has just begun."

Snape glared back at him and Father gave a hollow laugh as he turned back to me.

"I do hope Severus hasn't been filling your head with wild tales about me, Armilla," he said pompously. "After all, a good, well-behaved and polite child will have approving parents…well parent, in this case…may your _good_ mother rest in peace…"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I said nothing.

"She _is_ a quiet child, Severus," Father went on, as if I wasn't standing right next to him. "That is a good thing. I hope you encourage her to be a silent young lady who knows her place."

It was a good thing I was concentrating on my steel barrier, because that last comment could have really made my blood boil. _Silent young lady? _ Chauvinistic pig.

Snape pursed his lips. He had never told me once to be quiet, though I wasn't much of a talker anyway. But I knew that he didn't like Father's comment. His black eyes were glittering in contempt and I believed he was only refraining from retorting for my sake.

Father raised his eyebrows. "Ah, _both_ quiet today, I see. Good, good."

We stared back at him, each choosing to remain silent.

Father looked pointedly at Snape again. "I believe you were leaving, Severus?"

"I was," Snape replied curtly. He looked down at me, his black eyes unfathomable. I knew he was occluding himself. "I will see you on New Year's Day," he said softly.

I nodded. New Year's Day. I would see him again next year…six sleeps away. "Goodbye," I said quietly.

"Goodbye," he replied in a low voice. His black eyes finally broke away from mine and he nodded curtly at Father before sweeping out of the room, his black robes billowing out behind him. As he vanished through the doorway, something tugged on my heart and I felt something similar to what I had felt the day before, something I couldn't identify. I wanted to leave with him. I wanted to go _home_ with him. The next time I would hear his voice was six sleeps away.

"Good riddance," my father muttered, taking out his wand and doing a complicated little wave in the air with it.

Jiffy appeared in the doorway within seconds, bowing deeply again.

"You called, Master?"

"I did," Father replied. "I want lunch served at midday. In the meantime, you are to take my daughter to her bedroom so she can unpack and prepare herself for lunch."

And with that, he strode from the room, leaving me with Jiffy. Before I could consider whose company I preferred, Jiffy was beckoning to me to follow him out of the room.

I followed him back down the hallway, through the entrance hall, up the short flight of stairs and onto the second flight on the right side. In the upstairs gallery, I heard the figures in the portraits whispering again. That was something I would have to get used to in the coming week.

Halfway along the gallery, Jiffy opened a door and led me into a large room. It wasn't what I had been expecting it to be. A big bed I expected – and there was one. An adjoining bathroom I expected – and there was one – I could see it through the open door on the left side of the room. But I was expecting it to be in Slytherin colours, or at least dark colours. The only Slytherin colour in the room was the carpet, which was very dark green. The furniture was dark; the large four-poster bed was made of dark wood, matching the dark bookshelves small table and chairs. There was also a large dark coloured dressing table between two windows. But everything else was stark white! The richly embroidered bedcovers were as white as the walls. The sofa and armchair in front of the fireplace were covered in a thick white material. The heavy white drapes on the windows were tied back with white satin ties. It was very much unexpected. I didn't dislike it…the white made the room look…clean…but I didn't _like_ it either. I preferred my blue bedroom at the Merrigan Estate…as I knew I would.

"Jiffy will come back soon to show you to the dining room, Miss Armilla," Jiffy said, closing the door behind him.

I spotted my bag and Morag's cage on the floor near my bed. Snape must have left it before he returned home…or wherever he went.

I spent a few minutes walking around the room, taking in all the details. Even the bathroom was tiled in white and had white towels. Another small room off the bedroom led into what I supposed to be a dressing room. It was full of empty shelves and racks for hanging up robes, and a full-length mirror lined one wall, so I couldn't avoid catching a glimpse of myself as I turned to go out again. I was pale, though perhaps that was more due to my current situation rather than my Snape genes. But I didn't think I looked that daggy. I was wearing dressier robes than usual and my hair was certainly in place – having long straight hair was easy to take care of – it didn't do anything but just hang in place. I wondered then exactly what my father had meant by me 'preparing' myself for lunch. Maybe my version of suitably dressed didn't match his.

After going to the bathroom, I unpacked all my things in the dressing room, wondering if Jiffy had already searched through my things on Father's orders. Gosh, I _was_ a cynic. Maybe Snape was rubbing off on me…

A brisk knock on the door told me that Jiffy was probably ready to show me to the dining room. I hastily picked up my wrapped Christmas gift for Father and answered the door.

"Lunch is served, Miss Armilla," said Jiffy, bowing again. For light entertainment, I would have to start a tally to keep record of the number of times he bowed per day. Docky often forgot to bow…but then, Docky often forgot to _stop talking_, let alone leave a room.

"Thankyou, Jiffy," I replied. As much as I loathed the foul creature, I thought politeness even to the elf would keep me in the good books. Who knew if Jiffy was going to watch me for the next week.

We went downstairs again and into the same hallway as before. About three quarters of the way along, Jiffy opened a door into another massive room, though this one was more long and narrow, like the table running most of its length. Like at the Merrigan Estate, this dining table could seat a large number of people. It did seem a bit ridiculous having lunch for two in this room. I understood why Snape preferred using the breakfast room at home instead.

"Ah, Armilla," said my father, politely standing up from his place at the head of the table. "Do come and sit down. Lunch has just been served."

I kept my face passive as I made my way through the room to sit on the left side of my father. I felt his black eyes gaze intently at my every move. I had never concentrated so hard on sitting down so gracefully before.

"And what do you have there, my dear?" asked Father, looking pointedly at the present in my hand.

"Your Christmas gift, Father," I replied, holding it out to him.

His eyes lit up with curiosity as he took it from me. "How very nice of you," he said. "I may as well open it before we begin eating. Would you mind?"

Without waiting for an answer (I didn't think he would give a damn anyway if I _did_ mind), he began to unwrap the gift carefully.

"Ah, how extraordinary!" Father exclaimed a moment later, lifting the lid on the box and picking out one of the telescope lenses. "I have read about these; they're supposed to be just marvellous!"

_Phew_. Thank goodness for that. Excellent shopping on Snape's part.

Putting the lens back into the box, Father looked up at me. "And how did you know that I am interested in Astronomy?"

"I asked Severus what you were interested in, Father," I answered confidently, meeting his gaze.

"Oh you _did_?" said Father, looking down at the box again happily. "Well I am glad you did, Armilla, I am going to have a wonderful time trying these out."

"I'm glad you like them," I said, hoping to keep him in such a positive mood.

"Oh, I do, I do," he said, putting the box aside and picking up his knife and fork. I did the same and we began to eat. The food was actually very good.

"Now," said Father, after a few minutes. "I do hope you bought some new dress robes with your Christmas money."

"Yes, I did," I said. "Thankyou for the gift."

"Not at all, not at all," Father muttered. "I daresay your _affable_ brother took you shopping?"

"Yes, sir," I answered.

"And where did you shop for them?"

"At _Alethia Courtney Boutique_ in Preston Parade."

"Ah, yes, a fine place for witches that is! No _muggle-borns_ and _half-breeds_ are permitted to shop there," said Father pompously, his expression becoming quite nasty at the very thought of it.

"No," I said absently, wanting to change the subject. "It is nice of you to hold a party for me."

"Well, I have to officially welcome you into the family," said Father, after taking a sip of his wine. "And of course, welcome you into the close-knit wizarding circle to which I belong."

"Are there many families I would know of already?" I asked, doing my best to sound more interested than wary.

"Oh, I suppose there would," Father replied, his brow furrowed. "Let me see…the Malfoys of course…excellent family…very noble and moralistic…the Flints, the Bulstrodes…just to name a few, of course."

I nodded, turning back to my lunch. Yuck…a whole evening with some of the very worst sort of people.

"Now," said Father. "Tell me about your marks at school. Are they still as high as I would expect?"

"Yes, Father," I replied truthfully. "I study all the time."

"Excellent. Rest assured I will not permit your marks falling for any reason," he said, cutting his turkey. "I expect you to be well educated. At least _that_ is a matter Severus and I see eye to eye on."

We ate the rest of our meal in silence, except for the occasional questions testing my Astronomy knowledge, which seemed acceptable to him.

When the meal ended, Father stood up and beckoned me to follow him.

"I have already planned your afternoon, my dear," he said. "It should be of great interest to you, as it is a fascinating topic."

Intrigued, and a little apprehensive, I followed him out of the room through to the other side of the house. We entered an exceptionally large library and Father led me over to a small table and chair in a corner, away from any windows or distractions.

"I have a number of books you are to read during your visit here, Armilla," said Father, indicating a pile of books sitting on a shelf near the table. "Though I expect you to receive outstanding marks at school, there is other knowledge I wish you to possess as well."

Other knowledge? Oh, how _wonderful_…here we go…

"These excellent books contain information needed by a wealthy pureblood witch to move appropriately in wizarding circles," said Father, looking at the books fondly. "Of course, there are many books of their kind available, but I hand-picked these from the library myself as I think they will be of the most use to you."

Oh, what a _dear_…he had hand-picked them for me himself. Now I felt even more secure…

"Your task this afternoon," Father went on, picking up the book on top of the pile, "is to read the first half of this book." He held the book out to me.

Taking it, I looked down at the cover. _The Role of a Pureblood Witch_ by Henrik Raphael Shaw. Oh, what a _delightful_ afternoon this was going to be…

"I daresay you will find its contents fascinating, Armilla," said Father, smiling down at the book in my hands. "Read very carefully, my dear, and memorise as many points as you can. I will be testing you on the first ten chapters at dinnertime. Dinner is at six o'clock sharp. I will see you then." And with that, he swept from the room, closing the door behind him.

I had five hours to read ten chapters and memorise as much as I could. I occluded hard in an attempt to keep the panic out of my mind. I was sure Snape had put up with much worse before. Reading and memorising important points from a book wasn't _that_ bad after all.

Sighing, I opened the book, wondering what Snape was doing at that moment. I scanned my eyes over the publication details. The book was a first edition, published in 1899! What a ridiculous way to spend an afternoon! I was going to have to memorise a bunch of facts written by a wizard with chauvinistic principles as strong as my father's. I knew already that there was no equality to be found within these pages.

I turned to the foreword, written by the owner of the publishing house.

_This delightful piece of work is a must-have for all elite wizarding households with female family members._

_It appears that a number of female movements have been created in an attempt to strive for equality among witches and wizards. The aim of this book is to quash these outlandish attitudes among witches and restore the noble role of the pureblood witch._

_Throughout this book, the reader will gain an understanding in the importance of marrying into another family of wealth and good breeding, as well as the importance of a well-informed mind._

_Ultimately, the reader will delight in learning about the required noble role of a pureblood witch. No preposterous career-minded witches indeed! Leave that to the wizards!_

_Shaw has once again created a masterpiece, a must-read for all pureblood families, especially for those witches curious about their place, or those unfortunate husbands whose wives need to be put in their place!_

_Derrick G. Wintermeyer_

If I hadn't been in my father's house, holding a book that seemed to be treasured by him, I would have thrown the book into the fire. I was going to have a great time trying to stop my blood boil as I read through this piece of rubbish.

And I did.

It had to be one of the most ridiculous pieces of work that I had ever read. The first ten chapters basically told me that though I was of noble blood, my place was of lesser status to wizards and I should remind myself of that fact everyday. I also had to have an educated mind so I wouldn't embarrass my husband at dinner parties and my primary place was in the home, looking after the children.

As mentally painful as it was, I memorised as much as I could, and by the time it was five to six, my brain was on overload with sexist facts.

Leaving the book on the table, my head throbbing from excessive reading, I made my way back to the dining room for dinner.

Father had just entered the room himself, and he smiled down at me when he heard me enter the room just behind him.

"Well, good evening!" he said. "And have you had yourself a pleasant afternoon?"

I forced a smile. "I have, Father," I answered. _No, I haven't, you bigoted donkey_.

"More importantly, have you sustained a great deal of knowledge from your reading?" Father asked, as he sat down at the table.

"Yes, sir," I answered, sitting down as well.

"Well, we shall _see_," said Father, beginning to eat.

My stomach churned at his words, but I followed suit and began to eat also.

We ate the whole meal in silence, for which I was glad because I kept going over all the facts from the book in my mind. I _had_ to get everything right.

"Now," said Father, when we had finished. "Why did Shaw feel a need to write the book in the first place?"

"Witches were starting feminist movements and were ignoring their proper places in wizarding society."

Father nodded, looking at me keenly. "Very good."

_Phew_.

"And does a witch need to have a well-informed mind for her career?"

"No, sir. A witch needs to have a well-informed mind so that she can hold an intelligent conversation at a dinner party and not embarrass her husband."

"Correct. And what is the correct way for a husband and wife to walk into a room when announced in another person's house?"

"The witch walks one step behind her husband."

"Why?"

"Out of respect for his higher status, sir."

"Of course. Why does a pureblood witch need to marry a pureblood wizard of great wealth?"

"To produce pureblood children to carry on the name, and to keep money in the pureblood wizarding circles."

"Correct again."

And so the questions went on and on and I was amazed how Father didn't seem to run out of them. Thankfully, he seemed satisfied with my answers. He failed to ask if I _agreed_ with anything I had learned. It was taken for granted that the book would be my Bible.

"And finally," Father said. "Why is it important for a witch to let her husband handle performing magic in a dangerous situation?"

"Because it is the husband's right and so he is not upstaged by his wife's magic."

Father raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you were paying proper attention to that passage," he said frostily. "Care to have another go?"

Oh no…I was _sure_ that had been the right answer…think…think…

"…because it is the husband's role to protect the wife."

Father's face became rigid. "That is _incorrect_."

I kept the horror from my expression through occluding harder than ever.

"Let me inform you, _my dear_," said Father, in a cold voice. "The husband performs the magic because his magic is superior to that of his wife's. That is a known fact. Perhaps you need to go back at reread that chapter?"

I nodded. "I will, Father. I'm sorry," I said. I had gotten all the other questions right hadn't I?

Father gave a curt nod. "I do not accept errors. If you are going to read something, you will read it properly so that you are _perfect_."

"Yes, Father."

Father raised his wand and performed some kind of non-verbal magic. I felt something sting on the back of my right hand. I didn't dare look down to see what kind of hex the mad man had thrown at me.

"I suggest you go and reread that chapter right now. In fact, spend the rest of the evening reading the next three chapters. You will go to bed when you have answered every question correctly."

"Yes, Father."

"Very well, off you go then."

And I left the room as quickly as walking pace could carry me. I went back to the library and sank down into my chair, occluding fiercely. I looked down at the back of my right hand, on which I could still feel a stinging pain. There was nothing there. The pain was certainly there, but my hand was completely unmarked. Ah, _clever_, hiding the marks under the skin.

I wasn't going to get emotional. It could have been a lot worse. And I had too many days with the man in front of me to fret right now. I was just going to have to reread that particular passage and memorise the next three chapters. No big deal. I could do that.

It was a lot harder to memorise facts with a throbbing head, a stinging hand and general tiredness from the day. But I had to do it or there would be consequences. I didn't want to tell Snape that night that I had already failed miserably.

Father didn't come in until after ten-thirty. By that stage, my head felt like it was going to explode.

"I hope you will perform _better_ this time around," he said acidly, picking up the book.

And so we went through the whole questioning process again. At one point, I thought I was going to get a question wrong again because there was a long pause after I answered. Honestly, I thought it likely that _Father_ had forgotten the answer himself, but a moment later, he said "correct."

I didn't know how I got through it so well, trying to occlude, ignore my headache and stinging hand and answer questions all at once. But I did it. Finally, Father seemed satisfied enough to send me to bed.

"I hope we won't have to do this again, Armilla," he said, as I made my way to the door. "I generally like to go to bed early, but I had to stay up later so you could learn your lesson. I didn't get a word of thanks for that."

I turned on the spot, hating the man.

"_Thankyou_, Father," I said clearly.

"Very well, very well, off to bed with you."

"Goodnight," I said, closing the door behind me.

I made my way up to my bedroom, wanting nothing more but sleep so I wouldn't have to think about that wretched man. But I had to stay awake long enough to be sure that Father had gone to bed and Jiffy…was wherever he slept in the house. Snape had mentioned once that Jiffy slept in an old disused pantry. I supposed that was somewhere at the bottom of the house.

My spirits were raised a little when I spotted Morag sitting on top of her cage, hooting softly. It was like seeing a little bit of home…

Hoping my healing skills would help my hand, I waved my wand over it and began muttering an incantation Snape had taught me for injuries from unidentifiable hexes. The pain went away and I felt a sense of triumph over my father.

I got changed and got into bed. I held the chocolate frog card in my hand under the covers. I stared up at the canopy above me, willing the time to go faster. I heard eleven o'clock chime from the great clock out in the gallery. Eleven-thirty…

Everything was quiet. I hoped Father had gone to bed. I lit my wand and moved my covers slightly so that I could view the card from under the covers.

The wizard wasn't waving. Snape evidently meant for me to make the first contact. Thinking the message in my head, it appeared on the card.

_Are you there?_

The reply came very quickly.

_Of course I am. I've been waiting for you._

_I think Father only went to bed in the last half hour. I couldn't contact you any earlier._

_That's fine. Why did he go to bed so late? He generally goes to bed before ten o'clock._

_He had to stay up so he could question me on a book he made me read._

_Ah, he hasn't wasted any time then. Might I ask which book?_

'_The Role of a Pureblood Witch'. It's the first of many that I have to read and practically memorise._

_I see. And what is your expert opinion on the book?_

_It's a load of…you mightn't like the word I'm thinking…_

_Perhaps not, I'll just use my own imagination then. Did you answer all his questions correctly?_

_All except one…which is why he had to stay up late. He wasn't happy when I got one wrong, so I had to read and memorise three more chapters before I went to bed._

_I'm assuming you answered correctly the second time around then?_

_Yes._

_Nothing physical too?_

_How did you know?_

_He's my father too, Armilla._

_He did something to the back of my right hand, but my hand was still unmarked, though I could feel something there._

_Of course. He doesn't know that you can heal them yourself. He wants you to suffer, but be unmarked for the party. Did you heal it?_

_Yes_

_Do not let on to Father that you healed yourself. It is an advantage that he's decided to use these sorts of hexes – you can heal them without his knowing and pretend you still have them._

_If I hadn't healed it, when would the pain have gone away?_

_It depends on the intensity of the hex when it was cast, but I would estimate nine or ten hours. Most importantly, are you alright?_

_I'm okay. The day could have been worse…it wasn't that bad…_

_Stop being so diplomatic. Perhaps I should make myself clearer. Tell me honestly how you feel._

_I'm tired._

_Is that all?_

_I hate the man and I want to come home._

_That's better. Now at least I know you're being honest._

_I feel awful giving an answer like that. I've only suffered one day and you…_

_Had a whole childhood with him?_

_Yeah…_

_There's nothing wrong with hating it so much that you want to come home._

_But I feel stupid complaining to you about it after one day_

_I haven't told you to stop. Who else are you going to complain to?_

…_No one…_

_Indeed. Don't feel guilty about not liking it there. I don't have to suffer him for the next week and you do – so don't worry about being honest with me. There will be trouble if you're not._

_Okay._

_You should have been asleep hours ago._

_I know._

_I'll be expecting to hear from you tomorrow night._

_You'll hear from me._

_Goodnight then._

_Goodnight._

_Armilla?_

_Yes?_

_Six sleeps to go…_


	42. Deportment

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 41

The following morning dragged by so slowly it was painful. Father didn't even bother to join me for breakfast and for that I was grateful. The less I saw of that man the better. Of course, he hadn't bothered to leave me a message to say where he was. I didn't even know if he was in the house. So I ate alone until Jiffy came in and announced that I was to go on with my work in the library and Father would quiz me after lunch.

The work was so utterly boring and brainless that it was a struggle to stop my mind straying to more interesting thoughts. I managed to finish the ridiculous book from the day before and memorise its contents, though I wanted nothing more than to rip out each page one by one and cast a different hex on each page. I was sure that this library would contain enough books on hexes that I would be able to use a different hex for each and every page. But I kept at it, my mind complaining constantly that it wanted to go outside for fresh air and perhaps ride a broom. I often went riding with Terry and Lisa in the holidays…it was painful to have memories like that float into my head while I was sitting alone in my Father's library.

Shortly after the clock on the mantelpiece struck twelve, my father came into the room. I was a quarter of the way into _Majestic Deportment_ by Muriel Lloyd-Rivers and quickly concealed my desire to laugh at it when I heard my father's footsteps. It was another brainless book written by an unbelievingly dense witch a number of generations ago.

_A pureblood witch must conduct herself at all times with a regal air and sense of self-importance that denotes her position of significance within the wizarding world._

Bah humbug. What a load of hooey. If I hadn't found it on the table in my father's library I would have believed it came directly from the humour section in Flourish and Blotts. If I didn't know better, I would have promoted the book to my friends as a great example of a writer satirising snooty pureblood wizard folk.

"Lovely to see you so hard at work, my dear," said my Father, picking up _The Role of a Pureblood Witch_. "I hope you have been studying hard and not wasting time?"

"Yes, Father," I replied demurely, meeting his gaze.

"Good, good. Well then, we'll do a spot of testing before lunch, shall we?"

"Alright, Father." I felt so falsely pious the way I so politely accepted and agreed with everything the horrid old mule said.

"Very well. Let's begin."

And so for half an hour I was asked question after question and inwardly cringed after each answer until Father said "correct". His face remained impassive throughout the whole process and I wondered to what extent he thought of me as a piece of property that needed perfecting with extensive reading and the occasional hex for good measure.

"I think that will do," said Father finally, laying the book back on the table with such great reverence that I was thankful the man wasn't skilled at Legilimency – I would have been hexed like there was no tomorrow if he found out what I really wanted to do with that book.

"I am pleased that the little scare I gave you resulted in you making a greater effort with your study. Let us hope that I will not need to punish you again."

My blood boiled. _You foul, nasty, old-_

"Come," said Father, moving towards the door. "I believe it is time for lunch. Make haste, Armilla, we have a guest arriving this afternoon."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Lunch was a dreary affair indeed. Since my book had stated that I was not to speak at the table unless spoken to while I was underage and too juvenile for proper conversation, my Father insisted that we practise. As a result, we spent the meal in silence. Well…at least there was no uncomfortable and forced conversation. I actually preferred not to talk to him. I knew Snape would have preferred it that way too. Maybe that was why Snape was such an aloof person – too many years of being forced to keep to himself at nearly every minute of the day.

If Father hadn't insisted that I practise being quiet, I would have asked who the visitor was. My gut feeling was that anyone who Father considered a friend was not worth trusting. As much as I appreciated not having to talk to Father, the major downfall was that my mind concentrated instead on having alarm bells go off because it was determined that whoever was coming had something to do with my marriage prospects.

Just as we were finishing, Jiffy swaggered in to announce the arrival of Father's guest.

"Excellent," said Father, standing up. "We will receive our guest in the main parlour, Jiffy."

"Very good, sir," Jiffy replied, bowing low before strutting back out of the room.

I stood up as well, putting all my concentration into occluding. Snape had warned me that Father liked to have guests…and some of them could very well be skilled in Legilimency.

"Just a minute, Armilla," said Father. "You are to pay the utmost respect and politeness to our guest. She came highly recommended to me from a close friend. If I hear of any disobedience on your part…I will _not_ be pleased. Severus is not here to make your excuses. Understood?"

"Yes, Father." Ah, so it was a _she_. Perhaps the mother of a potential suitor. That was strange. I wouldn't have thought Father would bother conversing with the _mother_ in his business deals.

Father nodded, moving towards the door. "Very well. Come along then."

I followed him out of the room, down the corridor and into the parlour in which he had received Snape and I the day before.

Standing a few metres away was a tall, thin woman, gazing out of the window at the vast grounds. Her slightly lined face told me that she would have to be in her early fifties. Everything about her was absolutely immaculate. She wore fitted heavy silk robes of cream with mint trimmings, and her fair hair was tied into a soft bun at the nape of her neck. Her nails glistened in the small beam of sunlight that passed through the narrow windows. She wore a small amount of make up, just enough to have her face free of blemishes without looking trashy like Rita Skeeter. It was very clear that this beautiful lady knew very well what it was to be elegant.

She turned at the sound of our footsteps and fixed Father and I with a warm smile.

"Ah, Madame Rougier," said Father, taking her hand. "Comment ça va?"

"Très bien, merci, Monsieur Snape! Call me Zita, please," she replied, smiling broadly. "It gives me great pleasure to be here." When she changed from French to English, her accent was so perfect I would never have known that she was French.

"I am delighted to have you here, Madame," said Father, inclining his head slightly. "This is my daughter, Armilla. Armilla, this is Madame Rougier. She will be your governess during your stay here."

_Excuse me?_ Did the man just say _governess_? I was fifteen! Why the hell did he feel the need to get me a governess? I was only going to be there a week!

"Pleased to meet you, Madame Rougier," I said, shaking the woman's hand.

"What a lovely child you have, Monsieur Snape," she crooned. "Yes, very pretty indeed."

"Thankyou, Zita," Father replied pompously. "Her mother was a woman of great beauty and has evidently passed it along to our daughter."

"And that will help you very much, will it not, monsieur?"

"Oh, _yes_. You may notice that Armilla has the potential to add considerable wealth to the Snape fortune."

Oh, _thankyou_. Yes, apparently I had to potential to make my father richer. What a compliment.

"Yes, monsieur. I do see potential in Armilla already."

Hello? Was I invisible? Why were they talking as if I wasn't right there in front of them? Ah, yes, practise being silent. _That_, apparently, was my place as the resident ignorant fifteen-year-old pureblood witch. Gosh, bitterness was certainly taking up a considerable amount of space in my mind. Maybe Snape and I were more alike than I thought.

"I am glad that you do, Zita. When she puts her _mind_ to it," Father cast me a nasty glare, "she is a fast learner. I dare say you will have her perfect for me by the evening of the twenty-ninth?"

"Of course, monsieur," she replied, inclining her head slightly. "We will work very hard, shall we not, Armilla?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered quietly. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be turned into some sort of prim princess that bowed to the King's every request. I was thankful there was no pureblood royalty within the wizarding world. I had no doubt my father would have been adamant that I be trained to join them if there was one was.

"Then I will leave you to it," said Father graciously. "Armilla is in your hands for the next couple of days and I give you my full permission to deal with her in any way you see fit, as long as the end product is perfect."

The _end product_? Did I come with my own packaging and warranty?

"Merci, monsieur," said Madame Rougier, inclining her head again.

"She is generally well-behaved," Father went on, eyeing me like I was some sort of exhibit. "But you see, Madame, she has a much older brother with whom I share custody. Unfortunately, he is a bad influence on my dear daughter and it pains me to think that his neglect could leave Armilla a spinster."

Madame Rougier looked horrified. She looked at me, clicking her tongue in pity. "The poor dear," she said. "How sad it is that she must see her brother at all! It would have been such a comfort for you, monsieur, if you had been granted full custody. But as it is, you must make do." She looked at my father with a mixture of the utmost pity and respect.

If I hadn't been occluding so hard, I might have died from boiled blood by now. Was the damn woman really so naïve?

"Yes, indeed it is hard, Zita," said Father, really playing the role of martyr now. "What makes it worse is the fact that my son, Severus, is a teacher at Hogwarts, the school Armilla attends. She is constantly under his eye and it is all I can do to write my daughter letters to remind her where her loyalty should lie."

"Oh, how terrible!"

My loyalty? Oh, I knew who I was loyal to…

"_Yes_," said Father, nodding. "Severus won the right to have Armilla continue her education at Hogwarts when I wanted to withdraw her and enrol her at Beauxbatons instead. They pay a great deal more attention to the education of a wealthy young lady. I do not approve at all of the common louts Hogwarts produces among the female students. In fact, I'm sure even Severus might have had an eye for those lesser than his position as a pureblood wizard."

My hatred for my father grew so intense that I was thankful my mental shield did so well to conceal it. I didn't like him feeding Madame Rougier with such stupid information. As for Snape taking a liking to someone who wasn't pureblood, I was glad for that person's sake that she had never come into contact with my father. Actually, I couldn't imagine Snape ever taking a romantic liking to anyone…

"Well then, he clearly isn't worthy of your name, monsieur!"

"No, certainly _not_. Very well, very well," said Father. He looked at me with what he thought was a fond fatherly expression. "Do me proud, my dear, and do the utmost to make your new governess feel at home here."

"Yes, Father," I said politely. Perhaps the bimbo would be better company than my father anyway, though her stupidity was bound to annoy me. That was where Ravenclaws could be snobs at times – idiotic people generally weren't tolerated.

"Good," he said shortly. "I'll leave you to it then." He swept from the room, his robes flapping behind him.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I already felt like I was just as much a guest in this house as Madame Rougier was, no matter what my father thought. But before I could dwell on this, Madame Rougier took matters into her own hands.

"Right," she said briskly, clapping her hands together in a business-like manner and looking me up and down. "You are to address me as Madame Rougier or Ma'am at all times. It is my role to turn you into a proper lady in time for your father's gathering. We have a lot of work in front of us and I will not tolerate any rebelliousness on your part, no matter how strongly you may feel about not needing a governess. Often those who feel that strongly are the ones in the greatest need of guidance."

"Yes, M'am," I replied demurely. Excellent. There was nothing better than spending time with a woman who was full of herself.

"As I understand it, your closest family consists of two males. I highly doubt your nasty brother spends any time teaching you how to be a lady. Am I correct?"

"Yes, M'am," I answered. "I don't think he's ever felt the need to."

Madame Rougier smirked, raising her chin so she had to look down her nose at me.

"I see," she said nastily. "You already fancy yourself a lady then?"

"Well, I don't fancy myself a man," I retorted. Oh God, I had just said that out loud, hadn't I?'

Madame Rougier pursed her lips. "If I wasn't a lady, Armilla," she said in a soft voice, "I would have struck you for that outburst. The fact that your retort was crude demonstrates to me that you are no lady at all."

At that moment, Jiffy appeared in the room, bowing deeply to Madame Rougier.

"Jiffy is to show Madame Rougier to her room," he said.

Madame Rougier nodded stiffly.

"Very well," she shot me a nasty look. "I am not finished with _you_. You may join me while I unpack. Lead the way, elf."

We followed Jiffy into the entrance hall and up the stairs. Instead of going up the right staircase, we went to the left. Obviously, Father wanted the nasty cow to stay in the guest quarters. I was just thankful he wasn't going so far as to have her stay in my own bedroom with me.

Jiffy opened a door in a room a lot smaller than mine, but nevertheless still spacious and neat. It was decorated in forest green and silver, to remind the guest that this was a Slytherin home.

"Ah, how _lovely_," Madame Rougier cooed.

Jiffy bowed himself out and we were alone once more.

Madame Rougier turned to face me again.

"Turn around," she instructed harshly, making a spinning motion with her index finger.

I did so, feeling like an exhibit again.

"Too fast you stupid child," she said. "Don't you get petulant with _me_. I have taught many _children_ your age to be ladies and your huffiness will not put me off at all. Turn around, _slowly_."

I turned slowly, feeling more than ever that I wanted to curse the blasted woman. I wondered what Snape would have thought of her.

Madame Rougier shook her head in disdain.

"No, no, not a lady at all, I think. A proper lady is disciplined, Armilla, something which I feel you lack in. I daresay your horrid brother doesn't discipline you at all."

Well, that proved how little she knew of Snape. Snape and discipline generally went together in the same sentence.

"Your height is a failing. You need to stand up straighter and not slouch so."

I did my best not to scowl. I was _not_ slouching. I had _never_ slouched in my life.

"Did you bother doing your hair this morning?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Mmm…" she shook her head. "Well I am afraid it doesn't show. Why aren't you wearing any make up?"

"I…generally don't wear it," I stammered.

She clicked her tongue again and closed her eyes, looking quite affronted. "Do I dare ask if you even own any make up?"

"I have _some_," I answered, knowing perfectly well that Madame Rougier was not likely to be satisfied with the small amount I did have. Merle had bought me make up for the Yule Ball the year before.

"Then it will become a part of your morning routine to apply make up."

"My morning routine?"

She shook her head in exasperation. "Dear me, this is worse than I thought. You don't have a beauty routine that you carry out each day?"

"That depends. What does a beauty routine consist of?"

"Not just cleansing yourself, but having a skincare routine, applying make up, setting your hair…"

"Then…no, I don't," I said stiffly. I didn't need or want a ridiculous beauty routine. I imagined being late to Potions and offering an excuse of "I was carrying out my beauty routine" to Snape. I was sure I would deserve the detention that would follow.

Madame Rougier shook her head yet again. "Show me your nails," she said.

I held out my hands. My nails were perfectly clean and seemed the right length to me, but of course, didn't impress my governess at all.

"When was the last time you had your nails done?"

"I've never had my nails done." Hmm, maybe I would ask Snape to take me to get a manicure. Might as well throw in a pedicure too. What the hell, let's go the whole way and get facials together! Was I getting too sarcastic for my own good?

"Well we will have to take care of that. Clearly your brother is neglecting you. Tomorrow we will go to Preston Parade and have your nails done."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Right. I need to unpack and _you_ need to practise being a lady."

She pointed her wand at an armchair in front of the mantelpiece.

"Go and sit down there."

I complied, suddenly very conscious of my limbs.

"No, no, no, no, no!" she exclaimed. "Get up! It is done this way."

I got out of the way and Madame Rougier proceeded to practically float towards the chair, sat down gracefully and crossed her ankles to one side. It all looked a bit sickening to me.

"Try again," she instructed, standing up just as gracefully.

I imitated her movements from before, wanting very much to laugh at myself. I must have looked ridiculous. I was glad Snape wasn't here to watch. But then, he wouldn't have allowed the woman to teach me how to sit anyway. He probably felt that learning the properties of rare potion ingredients was time better spent.

"Much better," said Madame Rougier, nodding. "Very well. Sit there in that position and don't move while I unpack my things. No talking."

She pointed her wand at her trunk and used magic to send the contents within it to various parts of the room. She pretended that I wasn't there at all.

This was an absurd situation to be in. I was actually practising _sitting_. Time well spent, I assured myself. I spent the next hour thinking about the various hexes that I would use on her if I had the chance to.

After unpacking, Madame Rougier sat down at her table and began writing a letter. So this was how she was going to play the game. I was going to have to sit like a china doll while she went about her business. Wonderful. Stupid old hag…

I sat there for an hour. A whole hour of just sitting!

Finally, she finished her letter and looked back in my direction again.

"Stand up."

I got up.

"You stood up too quickly. It looked as if you had just sat on a pin. Sit down again."

I sat.

"Sit properly, you silly child."

I crossed my ankles and moved them slightly to one side.

"That's better. Now stand up graciously."

I got up more slowly.

"That's better. Now walk to the other side of the room."

Now I was self-conscious. I walked slowly and as graciously as I could.

"Not too bad. You have _some_ merit I see."

_You twisted hag_.

"Now, walk back to the chair and sit down again."

My, what a _fun_ game this was. I sat down again (quite perfectly in my opinion).

"Very good. Your father was right. You do learn quickly."

Well, _hurray_ for me. Maybe sarcasm would help me get through the next few days. I did so enjoy it.

"For the next ten minutes you will practise that. You sit, stand, walk to the other side of the room, turn and come back, and sit again."

Oh, _really_? What fun! What a joy! What an opportunity to improve my apparently questionable posture! Yes, sarcasm _would_ help me.

"And for every time I have to criticise, I will add an extra minute to your practice."

Oh, what a bully.

And so I practised…and practised…and practised some more. I occluded so hard and squashed my emotions so well that I was perfect. I really wanted to feel some sense of triumph out of this. I wondered if I would get a certificate for being a 'good walker, sit-downerer and stand-uperer'. I hoped I would. I would put it on the wall in my bedroom for Snape to admire with pride. Yes, the sarcasm _was_ really working for me.

"Well done, Armilla," said Madame Rougier when it was time to finish. "We will practise eating now."

She waved her wand at her table and it was suddenly set extravagantly for one, with sample bits of food on plates.

"Sit down."

I got up and did my prim oh-I'm-so-lovely walk to the chair and sat down in the chair (and bless me, crossed my ankles). I was _such_ an angel.

Madame Rougier proceeded to explain all the pieces of cutlery and at what part of the meal they were used for. She ignored my "I already know this" statement and continued to explain anyway, as though I was some sort of barbarian who had only ever used my hands to eat. I was even shown how to hold a fork! ("It is important to remember, dear, that the fork is _not_ a shovel.") Now, _this _was a woman of useful information.

We spent another hour practising eating. It was such an enlightening affair. I was educated on exactly how many chews a piece of food needed depending on its size and texture, and how to hold the napkin when wiping my mouth.

The best part was the 'dinner conversation'.

"You never talk about yourself unless you are asked," Madame Rougier began. Well, that was good. I didn't normally offer information about myself to strangers anyway.

"You pay the utmost interest in anything a wizard has to say to you. Even if you don't agree with him about an issue, you are courteous and refrain from debating with him. You do not have the right to question him."

Good Lord, she was a talking version of _The Role of a Pureblood Witch_!

We spent another hour practising making conversation, during which Madame Rougier told me several times that I was the most boring person she had ever had the misfortune of speaking to. I agreed. Of course I was going to be boring if my conversation was limited to agreeing with everything, talking about the weather and other trivial things suited to my inferior mind.

By the time dinner came, Madame Rougier announced that I had already had enough food samples and I was not to have any dinner ("It will spoil your figure, dear"). I wasn't hungry enough to be bothered. It was time away from Father. I wouldn't tell Snape that I missed a meal. He was _weird_ about me skipping meals.

And so, while Madame Rougier and Father ate, I was banished to the library to do some more senseless memorising of Father's ridiculous books.

By the time I had passed all my tests and was finally sent to bed by my governess (I didn't see my father at all), I was absolutely exhausted.

I took a longer shower than necessary – It was strange how the atmosphere in this house seemed putrid to me and I was intent of washing it off me.

Before bed, I quickly wrote a few lines to Snape for Morag to send, so it looked like we were communicating.

Upon saying goodnight, Madame Rougier had told me to be quiet when I went upstairs because Father had already gone to bed. So I didn't really have to stay awake for ages. I did anyway, in case the governess came by to make sure I was asleep. And it was lucky that I did, for she did come by. She opened the door slightly and poked her head in. I pretended that I was asleep and a moment later she was gone again. Even so, I waited another half-hour before contacting my brother.

I decided to get straight to the point.

_Father has a guest staying with us._

There was a long pause. Either Snape hadn't noticed the message straightaway or had been taken by surprise. A few seconds later though, I had a reply.

_What an impartial statement. Are you going to enlighten me or will I have to guess?_

_I don't think you would be able to guess._

_Such undying faith you have in me._

_Would you have guessed that Father would employ a governess for me?_

_A governess?_

_Apparently I need to become a 'perfect product' by the twenty-ninth._

_A 'perfect product'? It sounds as though he's investing in a piece of merchandise. Who is it?_

_A French woman named Zita Rougier. She's awful._

_I wouldn't expect Father to hire anyone pleasant, Armilla._

_She's amiable in Father's presence, but completely turns when we're alone. Father told her about you, so she doesn't waste time telling me about how I'm badly influenced._

_I'm responsible for you not being a perfect product? I shall have to go to confession…_

_She said you were neglecting me because my nails weren't up to her standards._

_What is wrong with your nails?_

_They're not as sophisticated as hers._

_That's not neglect. I apologise for never having considered your nails before, but I was confident you could look after your own nails._

_I can. That's just what she said though._

_How insightful of her. She sounds like an affable woman. I do promise to take an interest in your nails if they ever resemble Rita Skeeter's, because I will personally aid you in removing them._

_What about make up?_

_What about it?_

_I was admonished for not wearing any._

_That is ridiculous. You do not need to wear any._

_She thinks I'm meant to put it on every morning and I can't leave my room without it. She has a fixation with beauty routines._

_Oh help me. I'm not concerned about my influence, but I'm not so fussed about the influence of this woman._

_She's prissy. I don't want to be prissy._

_You're not prissy. You have no chance of ever being prissy because I wouldn't allow that either. You'd sooner be scrubbing cauldrons than be called prissy by me. So what did you do with her today?_

_Well first she told me that I wasn't a lady…_

_You're not a lady? I fear I've been bamboozled…_

…_So I had to practise sitting like a lady for a whole hour. I did nothing but sit._

_What a productive hour that must have been for you._

_It was. I spent the hour thinking about hexes and the best ways to apply them._

_Very good. I would have done the same. What ridiculous task did you engage in next?_

_Standing like a lady…walking like a lady…then sitting down like a lady once more._

_Am I supposed to notice a great difference in you when I next see you?_

_No…I'm faking it for now…unless you want me to adopt a prudish side…_

_No, not particularly. That would warrant another tedious lecture._

_Then we practised eating the right way and how to engage in conversation._

_Was that useful?_

_No. Madame Rougier is like a live version of the model pureblood witch from the book I had to read yesterday. She told me that my role is to agree with every wizard and remind myself that I do not possess brain power as great as theirs._

_You have no idea how much I want to come and get you from there right now…and how much I want to…express my opinion…to that damn woman._

_I'm not allowed to express my opinion because I'm too inferior. Father gave Madame Rougier permission to do whatever she liked._

_I bet he did. Has she done anything?_

_No. She seems to think that it is not lady-like to hex others. If she's not pleased I have to practise sitting instead._

_I see. I take it that Father shares the same opinion – you wouldn't have duelled with him then?_

_No. I don't see much of him at all. When I do, he likes me to practise being silent._

_You don't need practice at that. You're too good at it for my liking._

_Did you always have to duel with him?_

_We did duel a great deal. He always liked to win, so it was always a losing situation. If I did triumph, he'd get angry. If I lost, I wasn't trying hard enough. The man's a fool._

_Are you back at Hogwarts?_

_For now. I can't stay away too long while there are Slytherin students here._

_I wish I was there too._

_I know you do. You will be here before long. There's five sleeps, Armilla. I'm sure you have another day of ridiculous tasks awaiting you tomorrow, so I think it's time you went to sleep._

_I have to go and get my nails done with Madame Rougier in Preston_ _Parade tomorrow._

_Oh how exhilarating for you. I don't approve of you leaving the castle with that woman. I trust Father is not going?_

_No._

_I don't approve of this at all, leave it with me…Go to bed now. I will talk to you tomorrow night._

_Alright. Goodnight._

_Goodnight. Do your best to restrict any priggish influence tomorrow._

_I already am. I'm practising being the perfect product. I might just make it, you know._

_Indeed…I have no doubt._


	43. Metamorphmagus

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 42

It wasn't the most pleasant feeling to be woken up to the sound of Madam Rougier's voice, clapping her hands to get my attention.

"Up! Up! Up!" she commanded, dramatically clapping hard for each 'up.'

As groggy as my mind was, I still managed to bite back my "down! down! down!" retort.

Honestly, what kind of nitwit walked into a room clapping their hands at a sleeping person? Well, I supposed it was better than singing. Merle used to walk into my bedroom singing _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ and the only reason I never threw my pillow at her was my love for the woman. I didn't like cheerful songs first thing in the morning. I would have to tell Docky that. I knew I wouldn't have to bother telling Snape that. I highly doubted that he knew that song. Actually, I highly doubted that Snape sang at all.

I groaned sleepily and rolled over, hoping against hope that all this was a dream, and I was actually at the Merrigan Estate.

That hope was short-lived however, for a moment later the blankets and sheet had been pulled off me so allow a rush of cold air to fly at me. I chewed on my tongue to stop myself cursing the evil hag.

"Get up," she said briskly. "We have a busy morning ahead of us, especially if we want to improve your appearance."

Improve my appearance? Humph! I didn't look that bad in the morning did I? Apparently I did.

"You look dreadful, girl," said Madam Rougier, shaking her head as she peered down at me. "Your hair is messy and you need makeup."

What? My hair was messy? No! Impossible! I had just woken up! How could my precious hair be messy first thing in the morning? Dear me, I would have to look for a pillowcase with a built in comb!

"If you're thinking something cheeky I will not be pleased," Madam Rougier said snidely, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not, Madam," I said innocently. "I was just thinking how unfortunate it is that I am not beautiful enough to get by without makeup."

"Yes, it is unfortunate," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"It's interesting, because my father thinks I _do_ have natural beauty. He might not like you telling me otherwise. He wouldn't want his daughter to be told that she has no natural beauty."

Madam Rougier's face turned a sickly shade of purple. "Fathers can be blind sometimes," she said, her face contorted with fury. "I daresay your traitor brother is even more so."

"No, not really," I said simply. "Looks don't seem to bother him so much."

"With that attitude, it would be my guess that _he_ has no natural beauty either," she retorted. "I daresay that he must be _quite_ unattractive."

Now _there_ was an interesting thought. A few months ago I might have agreed with the woman. Snape certainly had never had a Lockhart-like fandom of girls after him. But in all honesty, I didn't find Snape unattractive at all now. And it bothered me that others did.

"No," I said, trying to show that I wasn't offended. I didn't want to hand the woman a weapon. "He's not unattractive at all."

"I doubt _your_ word is reliable," Madam Rougier muttered. "Well, get up then. Go and take a shower and get dressed. And for heaven's sake, girl, moisturise and put on makeup."

It took me three goes to get to the bathroom. I was called back the first couple of times because stomping and trudging apparently _weren't_ acceptable ways of walking. I would have to remember that.

When I emerged from the bathroom a while later, Madam Rougier was seated in an armchair waiting for me. My hair was super neat and I was hoping that I was wearing enough makeup to pass her expectations.

"Passable," she said, after she had gotten up to peer at my face. "Well get dressed then; we have to have breakfast before we leave."

I had put my dressing gown back on in the bathroom. I watched as Madam Rougier sat down in the armchair again. Ignoring her presence, I collected my clothes and made to walk back into the bathroom.

"Where are you going, girl?" she asked in voice one might use for a very small child.

"To the bathroom," I replied.

"With your clothes?"

"I'm not changing in front of you. That is invading my privacy."

Madam Rougier rolled her eyes. I wanted to tell her that eye-rolling was not at all lady-like in _my_ opinion.

"Very well, you impertinent brat, I'll leave. But you are to meet me in the breakfast room in five minutes with your travelling cloak."

"I will, Madam," I said in a sweet voice. It was so unlike me to use such a voice, but being around someone like Rougier made me want to use it.

The governess glowered at me as she closed the door behind her. She knew I was purposely holding something over her. She didn't know if I was close to my father…or how quickly I could go running to him and complain that the governess had said I wasn't naturally beautiful. I had no intentions of telling my father anything of the sort, though I didn't think he would be happy to hear that a governess had been insulting his pureblood daughter. Imagine if word got round to the other pureblood families…Rougier's name would be mud for insulting the daughter of such a highly respected pureblood man.

I joined Madam Rougier in the breakfast room five minutes later. Father wasn't there and I wasn't bothered enough to ask where he might be.

I was careful to sit down properly and demonstrate all the lady-like qualities Rougier based her sad life around. I didn't hide my surprise so well when I looked down at my breakfast.

Sitting in the middle of my plate was one strawberry and two cherries. There was also a glass of water.

"Is this it?" I asked, indicating my plate.

"One is never so rude about whatever one is served," said Madame Rougier primly, tucking into her porridge.

"Shouldn't one be served a more nutritious breakfast?" I asked, keeping the mocking tone from my voice.

"You have a nutritious breakfast. You have to maintain your figure," she replied airily.

"Excuse my interference in regards to my own diet, but this will not _maintain_ my figure, it will reduce it further."

"Do not speak again, unless I give you leave to," said Madam Rougier, looking anywhere but at me. "If you continue being rude to me I will leave discipline matters to your father."

Evil hag.

I ate my strawberry and cherries, feeling quite dour about the day ahead of me. I detested the thought of spending the day with such an airhead.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Ah, Madam Rougier, long time, no see!" cried a stout witch when we entered _Witchly Wonders Beauty Salon _in Preston Parade forty minutes later. She had a platinum blonde perm and wore frilly mint and apricot robes. She looked like a Pavlova.

"Hesta! Lovely to see you, my dear!" said Rougier, planting a kiss on each of Hesta's cheeks.

"And who do we have here?" asked Hesta in a high voice, as though I was a small dim-witted child.

Rougier placed a hand on my shoulder. "This is my lovely young charge, Miss Armilla Snape, Hesta. I am fortunate to be serving Aurelius Snape, by being governess to his daughter."

"Oh how lovely!" exclaimed Hesta, clapping her hands together. "You are a very lucky young lady, Miss Snape, to be in the care of such a remarkable woman. Zita and I have been friends for years!"

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied quietly. I wanted to disagree, but beauty salons were one of the best places for overhearing gossip and I knew my father would hex me to an inch of my life if I was heard rubbishing someone in public. Automatically though, my esteem for Hesta had plummeted upon hearing that she was actually friends with the wretched woman beside me.

"Armilla needs to have her nails done," crooned Rougier, patting my head like I was some sort of doll.

"Certainly," said Hesta happily, indicating for me to follow her.

I sat down at a table holding numerous potions for manicures and many bottles of nail polish. It wasn't really my scene…I had always been feminine, but not to this extent. I didn't like being 'improved'.

The first ten minutes proved to be such a dreary affair. Rougier and Hesta ignored me completely as Hesta set about doing my nails. I just watched, bored out of my brain. Things only became slightly more interesting when the seat on the other side of me was suddenly occupied by another lady also intending to have her nails done. She seemed about the same age as Rougier. Her flaming red hair hung in a loose braid down her back and everything about her seemed the height of elegance. She fixed the three of us with a warm smile as she sat down.

Hesta returned the smile, as she would have to any of her customers, but Rougier merely nodded, clearly not knowing who this woman was.

"Dear me," the woman said, taking out her wand. "How lucky that I'm in a beauty salon. I just broke a nail as I sat down." She pointed her wand at her nail. "_Reparo_."

Hesta let out a high laugh and Rougier turned away, clearly thinking that such conversation was not to be permitted when introductions had not been made.

I felt something like a light breeze rush past me and I turned in surprise, only to find that it came from the woman sweeping her robes into position as she put her wand away.

Rougier turned back, staring at the woman, her face full of confusion.

"I know you," she said mildly. "But alas, I cannot place you."

"Of course you do," the woman replied politely. "I am Mary Donahey and you are Zita Rougier."

Slight comprehension dawned on Rougier's face.

"Mary Donahey?" she repeated. "I _do_ know that name. From years ago…"

"Does _Claude-Christian School of Dance_ ring a bell?"

Rougier's face broke into a wide smile.

"Of course! Of course! Oh Mary! Forgive me for not remembering right away. How could I have forgotten?" Rougier suddenly seemed delighted to be in Mary's company.

"Forgiven," said Mary at once. She turned to Hesta. "Zita and I learned dancing together in France when we were quite young."

"Mary was a champion dancer," Zita said, smiling fondly at Mary. "The best ballroom dancer there ever was!"

"Oh, no," said Mary, shaking her head, though there was a small smile on her pretty face.

"You're too modest, my dear," Zita chirped happily. "It's been so many years, my friend!"

"Indeed it has," Mary agreed, holding out her hands as a woman sat down opposite her to give her a manicure. "Tell me, Zita, what has been happening?"

"I am governess to this young lady beside me," said Rougier, nodding in my direction. "Armilla Snape."

"Snape?" repeated Mary, looking at me with the highest level of respect. "Do you mean that this is the daughter of _Aurelius Snape_?"

"She is," Rougier replied. "You know of the Snape family then?"

"Oh, of course! A well respected pureblood family. I had heard that Aurelius recently discovered that he had a daughter. What an honour for you Zita, to be serving Aurelius Snape!"

Well, there went my esteem for this woman too. She had seemed more promising to me than Hesta, but now she seemed just as much of a dolt.

"It is, it is," Rougier drawled, "But what about _you_, Mary?"

"I am still a dancer," said Mary, smiling again. "In fact, I teach ballroom dancing to girls just like Miss Snape here."

"How funny!" Rougier breathed, placing her hand over her heart. "That is exactly what I was going to be teaching Armilla this afternoon! Of course, I am no professional at dancing but…" She looked at Mary hopefully.

Mary suddenly looked very interested in me. "Can you dance?" she asked.

"Well enough," I said. I had learned to dance for the Yule Ball the year before.

"Excellent. I have time this afternoon, Zita," said Mary, directing her gaze back to my governess. "I would be happy to practise with Miss Snape."

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Rougier exclaimed. "Mr. Snape will be so pleased to have his daughter taught by a professional dancer."

Yay for me. A professional dancer. Do fetch the Champagne, for I anticipate joyous celebration.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Over lunch that afternoon, Rougier barely contained her excitement as she told my father about my dance teacher.

"Excellent!" said Father happily. "How fortunate that you and your friend crossed paths, Zita."

The two continued discussing the joyous occasion and I kept my silence (which was expected of me) as I ate my small portion of pumpkin soup and brown bread.

"And _you_, Armilla," said Father, turning to address me instead. "I hope that you will express your gratitude to Miss Donahey for giving up her time at such short notice to teach you."

"Yes, Father," I replied quietly. I had been occluding constantly all day, but felt really down in the dumps anyway. I wanted to go home.

"And has Armilla been a good pupil to you, Zita?" Father inquired, turning back to the governess.

My eyes met Rougier's for a moment. She was dying to tell Father that I had been rude a couple of times. But my look must have told her that if she gave me away, I would make her name mud by telling Father how she had insulted me.

"Armilla is a delight to teach," she responded in a small, but nevertheless very clear voice.

"I am glad to hear it," said Father at once, turning slightly in his seat to give me a hard, warning look.

I occluded hard and looked back at him with a passive expression. "Madam Rougier is a good teacher, Father," I said. _No, she's not actually. She's a horrid, ugly, old toerag._

That seemed to satisfy Father enough to stop paying me any attention. And so lunch went on once more with me practising my silence skills.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

At precisely three o'clock that afternoon, I was called from my 'remembering insane and utterly ridiculous facts from ludicrous, racist books' session to join Mary and Rougier in the ballroom. I hadn't even known there _was_ a ballroom until Jiffy led me there.

"Ah, _there_ you are, Armilla," said Rougier sweetly as I made my way into the room.

"Good afternoon, Miss Snape," said Mary brightly.

"Good afternoon," I replied. I didn't care how cheerful the woman was, it wasn't a _good _afternoon to me. I wanted to go home. Yes, I was in a bad mood. I didn't have a lot of right to complain. I had only been here a couple pf days, but I was sick and tired of being treated like a walking doll that needed a new brain.

"Come and stand here by me," said Mary, grinning broadly.

I complied, doing well not to drag my feet. I wouldn't have put it past Rougier to embarrass me by making me practise walking in front of Mary.

"Excellent," said Mary, as if I had just achieved an amazing feat. Really, I was quite an extraordinary doll. It was a shame that I didn't come with my own box.

As Rougier backed away to watch from afar, Mary suddenly became uncomfortable.

"What is it, Mary dear?" asked Rougier in a concerned voice.

"Well…I don't want to appear rude or anything…"

"No, no my dear friend!"

"Well, the thing is, Zita…I like to work alone."

"Alone?" Rougier raised an eyebrow.

"Well, forgive me, Zita, but I'm a bit temperamental when it comes to my art."

Rougier looked surprised. I just wanted to roll my eyes…but no, _that_ wasn't lady-like.

"And so," Mary went on, taking out her wand and waving it around as she spoke. "I need to be able to concentrate on Armilla alone, without an audience if she is to reach her full potential."

Rougier suddenly looked a bit dazed. "Right you are, Mary," she said, inclining her head. "I will make myself scarce…be good, Armilla."

She backed out of the room, looking quite peaceful and happy.

As soon as she was gone, Mary waved her wand and muttered a locking spell and sound-proofing charm. Watching her, I became alarmed about this stranger. Why was she locking us in and sound-proofing the room?

Turning back to me, Mary sighed.

"Thank goodness _she's_ gone," she breathed. "Quite _unbearable_ isn't she?"

"Erm…" was all I said. Weren't the two women friends? Had I missed something?

"You know," Mary continued, "Severus was highly doubtful about letting me do this, but Albus convinced him."

My eyes widened in shock. "How…do you…?"

Mary laughed. "I must admit, I thought I might be a bit too clumsy for the role…Severus was quick to point that out, I must say."

Clumsy…hang on…comprehension had finally arrived.

"Tonks?" I whispered.

The woman smiled as she began to transform. A moment later I was standing in front of a very familiar face surrounded by a mass of brilliant pink hair.

"Wotcha, Armilla," she said brightly.

"_Tonks_," I said again, scarcely daring to believe it.

Tonks looked me up and down. "You're putting up with a great deal here I must say," she said. "I met your father when I arrived." She paused to pull a disgusted face.

"I know," I whispered. I was still occluding hard. "This has to be a dream."

"It's _not_ a dream, Armilla," said Tonks, smiling sadly. "In fact, I'll prove that it _is_ me you're talking to. Ask me a question that only I would know the answer to."

"Alright," I said. "What hair colour did you once recommend to Merle and where were we when you suggested it?"

"Hey, that's two!" said Tonks. "You're certainly Severus' sister. Well, let's see…I told Merle that she'd look great in violet…and we were standing in the kitchen of Merle's house when I suggested it."

I smiled. "Correct."

Tonks looked at me closely. "If you weren't occluding so hard I would say that you would have snapped by now."

"You can occlude?" I asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No, but Severus told me that you would be occluding."

"Oh," I said, looking away. For some reason, hearing his name put a pain in my stomach.

Tonks reached out and pulled me into a hug.

"You can stop occluding for me, you know," she said softly.

I shook my head. "No, I _can't_," I murmured. "I've gotten this far, I can't break it now."

"The stress from all this is making you exhausted, Armilla," said Tonks seriously as she released me. "I don't want to go back to Severus saying you look ill."

"Then don't," I said simply. "He knows I'm not enjoying this. There's no point in complaining even more…it's not his fault."

"No," said Tonks thoughtfully. "But you know what kind of man your brother is, Armilla. He can see through anyone. He'll want from information from me."

"Was this whole thing his idea?" I asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No. Actually, he contacted Albus about you leaving the manor with that stupid woman. He was furious about your father letting you out with her. Albus suggested that you be followed."

"Ah," I said, giving a small smile. "That's why we met you in the beauty salon this morning."

Tonks inclined her head. "I _looked_ like a Mary Donahey, didn't I?"

I laughed. "So how did you make Rougier think you were friends?"

Tonks grinned. "Albus taught me a particularly complicated spell," she said. "With a subtle wave of my wand, Rougier was mine. I had never met the woman, but now she thinks we're best buds!"

I suddenly remembered feeling something like a breeze pass me in the salon that morning. It must have been Tonks' spell.

"And Severus didn't want you doing the job?" I asked. "A little too clumsy?"

Tonks poked her tongue out. "Severus wasn't keen at all for me to do the job," she admitted. "I am determined that nothing can happen to you while I am here, Armilla. Severus will have my head otherwise…he cares about you, you know."

I nodded, feeling the pain in my stomach again. "I know."

"But I haven't been too clumsy today, have I?" Tonks went on. "Quite passable in fact."

"Yes, certainly," I said smiling. I was so glad Snape had been talked into allowing Tonks to come. It was like having a little bit of another world in the house with me. Someone from _my_ world.

"Now," said Tonks, looking serious again. "You do know how to dance, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Good," she said, looking thoroughly relieved. "Because I have two left feet and can't dance at all!"

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

I went to bed that night in a much happier mood. Father had invited Tonks to stay for dinner and he had been so impressed with 'Mary Donahey' that he invited her to the dinner party the following evening. Tonks had accepted his invitation with much enthusiasm, though I had just wanted to give her an apologetic look. Tonks had gone on to inform Father that she now considered dance a private artform, and so she would not dance the following evening – she would just take pride in _my_ performance instead. Father had laughed at this and had assured Tonks that he was certain that _I_ would be the best dancer there. Ha…no pressure then…

After dinner, while Tonks and Rougier had sat in one corner of the library drinking tea, I had sat in another, memorising a book again. I couldn't help being embarrassed when I was tested on everything by Rougier in front of Tonks. Tonks had looked politely interested the whole time, but secretly I knew she couldn't believe what I had to do.

Father had come in on the last question, which Rougier had deemed correct. He had decided that I hadn't given enough information on the last answer and commanded that I memorise two more chapters before bed as a result. He took out his wand and waved it to pick up another book, but I knew this was only in pretence. He had also subtly flicked his wand in my direction and I had felt something in my side quite similar to the pain that he had created on the back of my right hand two days earlier. This time it had been more intense though. He had been angrier this time. The sudden pain in my right side had made me grab onto the desk for support. Rougier and Father hadn't appeared to have noticed anything, but Tonks had been staring at me with a grim expression.

I had gotten through two more chapters with a bit of difficulty, because the pain had been much more severe this time. I knew Tonks had been watching me closely from her corner and it had made me all the more determined to succeed. Father hadn't returned and Rougier had considered all my answers to be correct. She had sent me to bed without another word.

I had said my goodnights and raced upstairs to heal myself. It had taken several attempts to heal it properly…it was hard to heal something you couldn't actually see. Father must have prided himself on his invisible injuries hexes. I wasn't even sure if I _had_ healed it properly.

I remained happy though because I had seen Tonks. And I would see her again tomorrow. I had been dreading father's dinner party the following evening, but knowing Tonks would be there reduced my anxiety.

Though I was happy, I was terribly hungry. I had been given a small amount of tomato soup for dinner – different to what everyone else had eaten – and the taste had told me that it was very low fat. I had a small frame anyway - If Rougier was going to be my governess in the summer I was likely to fade away into nothing at this rate. I wanted food!

I stayed awake for many hours, paranoid that Rougier would come up to check that I was sleeping, like she had done the night before. Sure enough, around ten-thirty, she peered inside and I pretended to sleep.

I didn't contact Snape for another half hour, again out of paranoia. I was so tired though…and I didn't feel well. Tonks had been right - though I hadn't been here that long, I was already exhausted.

_Four sleeps…I'm certainly ready to leave._

_So I hear. I've just been speaking to Nymphadora Tonks._

_Seeing her was a nice surprise._

_I am glad to hear it. I was not so glad to hear about your current condition._

_What's wrong with it?_

_Ah, you're going to play it that way I see. Apparently you look as if you are not sleeping well at all, you are not being given proper meals and Father attacked you in the library after dinner (not so subtly I might add, his age might be making him lose his touch)._

…

_Well, Armilla, do you have anything to say about any of this?_

_I have been sleeping alright._

_Then it's probably stress._

_I can't help what I'm given to eat. I'm not allowed to talk to Father unless he initiates a conversation. If I complain-_

_-Yes, I know what he'll do…something along the lines of what he did in the library._

…

_Armilla?_

…

_Armilla, answer me at once._

I couldn't help it. Snape seemed annoyed about the entire situation and I was frustrated that I couldn't fix it. All the emotions I was feeling from the past few days were threatening to override my guard. I didn't feel well at all…and I wanted to go home. If Snape had walked into the room at that moment I would have cried in relief. So much for having felt happy only moments before. What a mood swing.

_Yes?_

_What's the matter?_

_I can't fix any of this. I can't help when I sleep or what I eat. I don't know how to make things right-_

_-Armilla, listen to me. It is not up to you to make things right. All you need to concentrate on is getting through each day. You've done well so far. You'll have Tonks with you tomorrow night and after that it won't be long before you come back to Hogwarts._

He was right. I knew he was right. I occluded harder than ever to keep my emotions at bay. I still didn't reply. All I wanted to say was that I wanted to go home, but that seemed a bit pointless right now.

_Did you heal yourself?_

_Yes._

I still didn't have much to say. I just wanted to cry that I wanted home more than anything else.

_You're concentrating on occluding at the moment, aren't you?_

He didn't miss a trick, that man. He knew that I was upset.

…_Yes_

…

…

_If I could come and sit with you right now, I would._

That did it. I let a tear fall.

_But I know you can get through this. If you could get through finding out that I was your brother then you can get through anything._

I muffled a small laugh. I put my guard back up again, feeling slightly happier.

_And before long, you'll be back here and we can rubbish Father's name together._

I smiled.

_I'll look forward to that._

_Then that's settled. No need to set a date, I'm happy to abuse his character at any time of any day._

_Including during Potions?_

…_Perhaps not…that's your time to concentrate and my time to lament the abysmal potion-making skills my other students possess._

_I'll need to find some time to think about hexes to use on the governess._

_I'll join you in that. I have many suggestions in fact. Tonks told me that Rougier complained to her that you weren't naturally beautiful…so I have a whole range of creative hexes I'd like to try out._


	44. Portrait of a Lady

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 43

I woke really early the next morning to the sound on soft tapping on the window. Groaning, I rubbed my eyes and peered blearily at the clock. Six o'clock. Sighing, I sat up in bed, now massaging my temples instead. I had a terrible headache and the last thing I felt like was grooming myself for the dinner party that would take place that evening.

I stumbled out of bed and pulled the curtains back to discover the source of the tapping noise. It turned out to be an owl, perched on the outer sill, with an envelope tied to his leg. He hooted loudly at me and tapped on the window again, clearly impatient and annoyed that he had been kept waiting.

Opening the narrow window, I allowed him to soar into the room. Morag hooted softly, watching the owl with great interest. The owl remained close by, even after I had taken the letter from his foot.

I had no doubt that the letter was from Snape. I had told my friends not to write at all while I was staying with my father. I didn't want Father finding out any information about them or their families. Both were from respectable families, but I didn't want my father, the Death Eater, knowing anything about them through me.

I didn't expect that this letter would be the cause of much interest, and I was right.

_Dear Armilla,_

_I hope you are well. I would be better spirits there were fewer Gryffindors about._

_I trust that you are spending your time wisely there and are refraining from procrastinating in regards to your studies._

_I have returned to Hogwarts and am exceedingly busy at the moment. A few more Hogwarts students have returned from their holidays and the school is getting noisier with each day's new arrivals._

_I will come and collect you after breakfast on New Year's Day. Make sure you are ready to go._

_Severus_

I was sure that he had thrown that Gryffindor bit in for my amusement. I knew that he would mention my studies. We had agreed that I would bring some of my books with me, even though I had finished my holiday homework. That way, if I needed to, I could pretend to be immersed in my studies.

I could see light at the end of the tunnel now. New Year's Day was only three sleeps away. My biggest hurdle would be getting through the dinner party and surviving the company of Death Eaters. I felt sick at the thought of the evil people. It bothered me more that Snape had once been one of them. Well, these people still thought that he was one of them. I pushed away my curiosity about Snape's younger days. I doubted that Snape and I would ever be close enough for him to divulge such information about himself. He never mentioned Death Eater activity in my presence and never went into details about his role for the Order.

I got up to collect some parchment, a quill and a bottle of ink. The owl swooped over to Morag's side. Morag was still in her snowy white form, and was significantly smaller than her visitor. The larger owl hooted indignantly at her and I supposed this was because Morag blocked his way to the water tray. Morag hopped aside graciously and as the larger owl hopped past, he purposely brushed against her to show his annoyance. I was going to scold the owl, but Morag decided to retaliate by her own means. She flapped her wings and grew full size, turning a charcoal colour. Her claws became longer and her gaze more menacing as she hooted back at the owl. The owl paused in the middle of a drink and didn't blink once as he gazed at Morag. When Morag continued to hoot and flap her wings, the owl tumbled back into the water tray, creating a mess as water went flying. He then soared around the room in fright, and water from the wet wings sprayed the room. Morag, satisfied with her comeback, resumed her usual form and went to nibble at her food. The other owl didn't stay any longer. It flew out the window at high speed and it wasn't long before it was only a speck in the distance.

"Well done, dearest," I said, laughing at Morag as she hopped about in triumph. I refilled her water tray and mopped up any water I could find around the room. Rougier would have had a fit if she had witnessed such an event. But Morag would have known better than to change form in front of a stranger.

I sat down again and wrote a trivial letter back to Snape.

_Dear Severus,_

_I am well and I promise that I am not procrastinating study at all. I have been reading many books here and have learnt more than I ever expected to about the pureblood wizarding world._

_Father has employed a French governess, Madam Rougier, and I spend nearly every moment of the day in her company. We have spent the last two days preparing for the dinner party tomorrow night._

_I will be ready for you early on New Year's Day._

_Armilla_

"Come here, Morag," I said, sealing the envelope. "You've got your first delivery to make."

Morag hooted and soared over to me. She hopped about happily while I tied the letter to her leg.

"Stop hopping about," I muttered. "It's not _that_ exciting...well I suppose it _is_ really, you're going back to Hogwarts."

I carried her over to the window and then watched her fly out of sight, envying her. I wished I could have just flown out the window and back to Hogwarts.

By the time I had showered and spent a decent amount of time on the ridiculous 'beauty regime', it was after seven o'clock. Madam Rougier came bustling in at a quarter past, ranting at me to get out of bed. It took quite a few embarrassing seconds on her part to realise that I was not _in_ bed, and the bed _was_ in fact, already made.

I was tempted to say something biting about her eyesight. It was a remarkable example of self-restraint that I didn't.

After a moment's agitation, she became her reserved self once more.

"Why are you already up?" she demanded, as if I had committed a terrible offence.

"It would seem that I awoke," I replied, in an _ever_-so-polite-voice so she couldn't accuse me of being rude.

Rougier narrowed her eyes at me anyway. "It is not beneficial for young ladies to be waking too early in the day. By the time evening comes they are too exhausted and _look _too lethargic to be amiable company."

"But I have _no_ natural beauty anyway," I said sweetly. "So it seems a thoroughly hopeless business, does it not?"

Rougier glared at me. "Well, we are to spend the day trying to remedy that, no matter how hopeless it appears. I have your father's orders to have you looking beautiful this evening…perhaps it is a good thing that you rose early…we have a lot of work to do if we are to achieve that."

I pretended to look offended. "Well, _that's_ not very nice," I said. "That's quite insulting really. If I am unable to focus on being a proper lady this evening I'm sure it will be due to lack of self esteem."

"If you're not a proper lady this evening your father will have your head," Rougier growled.

"Well before he takes my head, I will have to inform him that I only stuffed up because the _governess_ told me that I wasn't beautiful."

Rougier's eyes flashed. "You _little…_" She checked herself, and then straightened her robes with the utmost dignity.

"I do hope you weren't going to swear at me," I said, pretending to look affronted.

She pursed her lips. "You had better behave yourself, _young lady_. I am in no mood to deal with your attitude. I flatter myself that the unbecoming, sarcastic side of your character has not come about as a result of _my_ instruction. It is unfortunate that your disposition is not at all a favourable one, but I have done my best to improve it."

"And I do thank you for that, Madam," I said graciously. See? I could be thoroughly lovely and sweet when I wanted to be.

Madam Rougier narrowed her eyes again. It seemed that she couldn't work out whether I was really thanking her or mocking her.

"We are wasting time," she said. "You are expected down in the breakfast room shortly. Your Father wishes to have a private breakfast with you."

Oh joy. Guess there was no point in suggesting that I RSVP back saying that it was unfortunate that I couldn't attend because I had to rid my owl's cage of dung. No…better not. I didn't think my father even knew that I kept my owl in my bedroom.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Fifteen minutes later I was welcomed into the breakfast room by my father. He seemed in high spirits and I supposed this was due to the prospect of having so many eligible pureblood wizards in his home that evening.

"You do look well this morning, my dear," he said, as we sat down at the table. "I suppose that is due to the excellent care and attention you have been receiving from your affable governess."

"I think so, Father," I said quietly, pouring myself tea.

"Madam Rougier already prides herself in your improvement," Father went on, sprinkling sugar on his porridge. "We'll give her all the lavish thanks she expects, but between you and me, I believe only a small amount of improvement needed to be made."

I looked inquisitively at Father. The man was a riddle. Why had he hired a governess if I had only needed a tiny amount of improvement? Why had I spent two ridiculous days practising walking and sitting and eating?

"You look surprised, my dear," said Father. "I do hope you give yourself more credit than that. You are a Snape. You are _my_ beautiful daughter who possesses natural grace that could not be taught. It reflects well on me that I hired a governess to provide insight into the witch's mind and provide female company in a house that is otherwise only occupied by a wizard and his house elf."

Oh, how simply endearing! What a charming man! Really, I took a lot of pride in the inspiration that was my father.

"I understand that witches take hours to get ready for dinner parties and balls," said Father, looking at me fondly. "I remember your mother used to take at least an hour to prepare herself for such events…but she was always beautiful to start with." He stopped short, looking pensive. I knew he was thinking about my mother. I wondered if he had ever loved her at any point.

Father shook himself out of his reverie. "Alas, my thoughts are running away with me. What I meant to say it that you may have the afternoon to prepare yourself for this evening, but you must be down in the entrance hall at seven o'clock sharp to receive guests with me."

"Yes, Father. I'll be ready."

"Excellent. Now, I believe you know what is expected of you this evening. I daresay your reading and advice from your governess have you very well prepared?"

"Yes, Father."

"Excellent. I do hope I will not be disappointed then. This is a very important evening for both of us, Armilla, and _nothing_ will ruin it. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Father," I said, nodding.

Father nodded, looking satisfied. We ate in silence for a few minutes.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in, come in," said Father, looking up from the newspaper that rested on the table next to him.

Jiffy bowed himself into the room.

"Good morning, Master. Good morning Miss Armilla," he said as he approached the table. He stopped when he reached Father and bowed again, holding out an envelope.

"An owl just delivered this, sir," the elf said, gazing at Father with the utmost respect. What I fancied right now was performing a Bat-Bogey hex on the stupid creature.

Father took the letter without thanks and Jiffy, apparently used to this treatment, bowed himself out of the room, his look of respect never wavering.

I continued eating as Father read his letter.

"Well, well," he said finally, folding the letter up again. "How delightful. You will be interested to know, Armilla, that Madam Rougier's friend, Mary Donahey, has written to me offering her services to you this afternoon. She said she would be glad to assist your governess in helping you get ready, as well as fit in an extra dance practice. I must say, that is kind of her."

"That _is_ kind of her," I said sincerely. "Will you allow it Father? I know I would really benefit from the extra practice."

"I _will_ allow it," he answered, smiling at the letter. "I was very impressed with Mary, I must say. And an extra dance practice would indeed be advantageous."

"Thankyou Father," I said, trying not to sound _too_ excited. I didn't want to arouse my father's suspicion about a witch I had supposedly only met the day before.

"Yes, yes, as long as you show her your appreciation and be very attentive to her."

"I will," I said. I felt so happy at the thought of seeing Tonks. I would have bet anything that Snape was having a personal struggle as to whether or not he should have allowed Tonks to come. He thought Tonks was rather clumsy and not as subtle as an auror could be, but then, Tonks' presence also provided me with much needed company and extra information for my brother.

After breakfast I returned to my bedroom where I spent the rest of the morning in the tedious company of Rougier, practising the subtle science and exact art of being a prestigious pureblood witch. My governess remained in a snappy mood, and I kept my wit to myself – a great personal feat.

Tonks arrived at three o'clock (completely disguised as Mary Donahey of course) and I kept my composure upon greeting her, as Rougier was standing behind me. Tonks and I headed straight to the ballroom and Rougier excused herself to go and prepare for the dinner because the rest of the afternoon apparently would be spent preparing _me_.

"That woman talks about preparing you as if you were a cake that needed to be decorated," said Tonks, wrinkling her nose. She had just warded the room again like she had done the day before.

"I know, if I had a more dramatic disposition I would consider developing a complex about it," I replied, grinning.

Tonks shook her head. "There would be no point developing a complex even if you _were_ dramatic," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Severus would knock it out of you before you had the chance to perform just one spectacular tantrum."

"Good point," I said laughing. "I don't think he'd react well to a tantrum."

"Definitely not," Tonks agreed. "Not even from _you_."

"So how come you're here early?" I asked, sitting down on a chair against the wall.

"I thought you might like the company," she replied airily as she sat down next to me.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Just you?'

Tonks rolled her eyes. "You're just like your brother, Armilla. You immediately think there are ulterior motives."

"Are there?"

She sighed. "Well, yes. Albus _and_ Severus both suggested that I come early to give you some company. It wasn't just my idea."

I smiled. "I'm really glad you came, Tonks," I said, seriously. "I know this dinner tonight is going to be really boring for you, but you've got _no_ idea how grateful I am that you're going to be there."

Tonks gave a small smile. "Ah well, you don't need to thank _me_, Armilla. No one would want to be in your place right now, putting up with all this rubbish while your brother is forced to remain on the sidelines and bear it. The least I can do is offer my company."

"Well, thanks anyway," I said. "I'm only getting through each day by focusing on the day I leave."

Tonks nodded, smiling sadly. "That's what Albus has been saying to Severus."

My chest tightened at these words. I didn't like worrying Snape. I had probably made him even more worried because I had been upset the night before. It certainly would be no party to stand on the sidelines, completely helpless about the situation.

Tonks suddenly grinned and her expression became mischievous. "I'm under strict instructions," she said, "to make sure hormonal young men don't get to spend too much time conversing with you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Instructions from my brother?"

Tonks nodded. "Certainly. Though he doesn't say as much, Armilla, he _is_ aware that a significant potion of the male student population at Hogwarts finds you attractive." She smirked. "But one threatening look from your brother would make them divert their eyes I suppose."

I smiled. "He's already told me that I can't date. He made a good point though…Father would hunt down any boy I dated without his permission."

"Yeah, I think he would," Tonks agreed. "Not to mention that any boy you dated would be watched like a hawk by your brother."

"Mm, you know, it's probably best that I leave all that stuff until after Hogwarts anyway…so how are you supposed to limit the amount of time boys spend talking to me?"

Tonks beamed. "I take over the situation with my unbelievable charm and wit."

I laughed. "No, really?"

Tonks pretended to look offended. "Do you know Severus said the exact same thing to me when I told him that? Only he looked annoyed instead of amused."

"Oh, so charm and wit are really going to be your weapons then?"

Tonks held her head up high. "Of course," she said. "I will join in conversations at every available opportunity and attempt to divert each boy's attention with some fascinating anecdote." She smirked. "I am an excellent conversationalist."

"Well…good luck with that."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Wow," Tonks breathed as I came out of the bathroom that evening. Rougier and Tonks had stayed in the bedroom while I had changed. I was wearing the berry coloured dress robes that I had gotten a few weeks back. Rougier had already arranged my hair into an elegant knot at the nape of my neck. I didn't dress up like this too often and I found myself feeling very self-conscious just coming out of the bathroom.

"You look so beautiful, Armilla," Tonks said softly, standing up and coming over for a closer look.

Rougier came over as well and walked around me, her sharp eyes taking in my entire form. I was waiting for some type of criticism.

"Not bad," she said a moment later, taking a step back and nodding curtly. "As long as you remember everything I've taught you, you shouldn't embarrass yourself."

"Oh, I think she'll be fine, Zita," said Tonks. "If she's been under your influence for the past few days then I have no doubt that Armilla will be nothing but refined and elegant."

Rougier smiled at Tonks. "You flatter me, Mary."

Tonks shook her head. "Never. I rarely give compliments, Zita."

Rougier looked very pleased. "Well, in _that_ case, thankyou very much indeed!"

"I have to go," I said, after glancing at the clock on the wall. "I have to greet guests with Father."

"Off you go then, quickly! _Quickly_!" Rougier waved at me to leave. "Get along with you then."

I looked back at Tonks in the doorway. "Thanks again for the extra lesson, Miss Donahey," I said.

Tonks gave a prim smile. "Not at all," she replied.

I left the room and made my way downstairs to the entrance hall where my father was waiting. He was wearing black and silver dress robes of a very heavy, but rich material. Upon hearing my entrance into the hall, he turned and watched me descend the stairs.

"Ah," he said as I moved to stand next to him. "You look fine this evening. I certainly approve of your choice of dress robes. Did Severus help you pick them out?"

"Yes, Father," I answered.

"That was good of him," Father muttered, scowling slightly.

"The guests are arriving, sir," said a low voice.

I turned to see Jiffy sauntering into the hall.

"Very good, Jiffy," said Father, bouncing on his heels. "Let them in."

Jiffy moved forward to open the front door. I saw many witches and wizards making their way through the front garden.

"They're quite prompt," I remarked.

"My friends know I favour punctuality at all times," Father said, his eyes flitting over all the people making their way to the door.

A tall, thin wizard with greying hair and an upturned nose entered first. He was followed by his wife, a stout little witch with pursed lips. I identified the two after seeing the wizard who directly followed them. Marcus Flint. Formerly one of the most disgusting members of Slytherin.

"Ah, Dalias, Eloise!" Father said, shaking Mr. Flint's hand and kissing the hand of Mrs. Flint. "Excellent to see you! And young Marcus too, delighted to have you here young man." Father shook Marcus' hand enthusiastically. He then turned to me. "Mr. and Mrs. Flint, may I present my daughter, Armilla?"

Mr. and Mrs. Flint both shook my hand and Mr. Flint went as far to kiss it too. I would have to remember to take a long shower later.

"And I believe you may remember my daughter from your time at Hogwarts, Marcus?" Father asked.

"Yes, sir," answered Flint, moving forward to shake my hand. He didn't really seem too happy about being here at all. Personally, I didn't blame him.

The Flints were ushered off in the direction of the ballroom and main parlour by Jiffy for pre-dinner drinks.

"Aurelius!" exclaimed a happy, but somehow chilling voice. I turned back to see a tall wizard with long hair that was almost white. He had a sneering face and his blonde wife (who had come in behind him) had a pinched, snooty face. I didn't have to wait for their child to come in to identify them. You could always spot a Malfoy.

"Lucius and Narcissa!" said Father, smiling. "I'm so delighted to see you both! Draco, how are you?"

"Very well, sir," Malfoy replied politely, shaking Father's hand.

"We wouldn't have missed _this_ for the world, Aurelius," said Lucius. "Narcissa and I both agreed that we wanted to acquaint ourselves with your daughter."

"And you certainly shall," Father replied, smiling. "This is my daughter Armilla. Armilla, this is Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, old friends of mine and very dear ones too."

Lucius Malfoy kissed my hand. "Welcome into our midst, Armilla," he said. "We are delighted to have you."

I did very well not to cringe at the evil man's touch. "Thankyou, sir," I said, occluding harder than ever.

"I have heard a lot about you from Draco," said Mrs. Malfoy as she shook my hand. "You're a Ravenclaw I believe?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered.

"Well, I suppose that is the next best house after Slytherin, Aurelius," she said, addressing herself to my father.

Father gave a dry laugh. "Yes, we must all be thankful that her alternative upbringing didn't land her in Hufflepuff."

All three of the Malfoys laughed. The idiots. I didn't care if my brother _was_ a Slytherin, I would have chosen to belong to Hufflepuff over Slytherin any day.

"Hello, Armilla," said Draco, grinning as he shook my hand. He was wearing dark green robes with embroidered silver cuffs.

"Hello, Draco," I said civilly.

"I do hope you will dance with me later this evening," he said.

What? Well, if I _had_ to. I wondered if I had any heavy-duty soap in my bathroom. My gut feeling was that I was going to need a serious shower after the guests went home.

"Of course, Draco," I answered in what I hoped was a gracious voice.

"Getting in early, Draco?" my Father said, winking at Lucius.

Lucius gave a thin self-satisfied smile. "Well, Aurelius," he said smugly, "I was the first to ask Narcissa to dance when old Mr. Black held a party all those years ago."

Father inclined his head. "So you were."

The Malfoys were ushered off the other rooms at that point by Jiffy and Father and I received the Bulstrodes. Mr. and Mrs. Bulstrode were of the same build and nearly the same appearance as their daughter, Millicent, except that Mr. Bulstrode had a long dark brown beard. Like Marcus Flint, Millicent also looked as if she didn't want to be there. She didn't smile as she shook my hand (or rather, squeezed my hand to the point I thought she was trying to break it).

After the Bulstrodes, we received the Notts, the Baddocks, the Pritchards, the Dolohovs, the Puceys, the Bletchleys, the Montagues, the Warringtons and a few other childless couples who I suspected were just Death Eater friends. Lovely people. What an incredible turnout. I was _so_ fortunate. I would have to remember to thank my lucky stars.

We all gathered in the parlour, which had doors opened off into the ballroom. One of the things I hated most in life was brainless chitchat. I hated having to make small talk with other people. Call me anti-social, but I was generally picky about who I talked to, and even pickier about the people I became friends with. Now I was in a room with a bunch of Slytherins, many of whom were Death Eaters…in short, people I had little in common with. But then, my brother was a Slytherin, he was playing the role of Death Eater and I had little in common with him too…but that didn't mean I didn't want to talk to _him_… that was different…

I spotted Tonks (hem hem, _Mary Donahey_) entering the room with Rougier, both dressed in their finest robes. I decided to cross the room to talk to Tonks first. Father was busy chatting to Dolohov, and the Slytherin kids were hanging about in small groups, chatting to each other. Every now and then, a couple of them would look in my direction. They didn't give me nasty looks, merely curious ones.

As I was crossing the room, I was intercepted by Draco Malfoy.

"Have a nice Christmas?" he asked.

"Pretty good," I answered. "You?"

He shrugged. "Not bad. I got a stack of presents, but I didn't get everything I wanted."

Spoilt brat. "What did you want that you didn't get?" I asked, making conversation just for the sake of it. I needed to pass time after all. It was better to do it this way than have my father accuse me of being anti-social after everyone went home.

"Oh, I wanted a couple of things from _Borgin and Burkes_," he answered, "but Mother thought I was too young to have them." He rolled his eyes. "As if."

I shrugged. "Maybe next year then."

Malfoy shrugged too. "Maybe. It's a bit of a problem being an only child. It can get a bit of an inconvenience having your mother's attention all the time when you're at home."

"I wouldn't know," I said dryly.

Malfoy blinked. "Oh, sorry," he said briskly. "I forgot….Well, I suppose Professor Snape would give you a lot of attention. I mean, he's really attentive to all the Slytherins, so he must be even more attentive to you."

"I suppose," I said. I started racking my brain for another subject to discuss. I didn't fancy getting in the particulars with Malfoy of exactly how much attention I received from my brother. I was saved from having to make more conversation however, for at that moment diner was announced.

Malfoy held out his arm. "May I escort you into the dining room?"

I blinked. Escort me? Well if I had to. May as well oblige the little toerag and give myself credit points for good behaviour.

"You may," I said, taking his arm. I wondered briefly what Pansy's face would have looked like if she had seen us. Fortunately, the Parkinsons hadn't been on the guest list.

Luckily I didn't have to listen to Malfoy all through dinner. My father was seated at the head of the table and I sat on the side to his right. Mr. Flint was on my other side and I didn't think his conversation would be much better. Poor Tonks was stuck and the other end of the table, so far away that I would have to keep reminding myself that she was even there.

Before dinner was served, my father stood up to make the toast.

"This evening, I officially welcome my daughter, Armilla, to her true home," he began, smiling at the many people gathered in the room. "It is very sad that I have not had her in my home sooner, but I mean to make up for all the years of her childhood that I have missed."

I wanted to sink through the floor. All eyes in the room were flitting between me and my father, and many were smiling at my father's supposedly sentimental words.

"I have invited you all here tonight, dear friends, to help me celebrate Armilla's place in my family and make her feel welcome. I am sure that Armilla possesses many of the qualities that we prize amongst our kind."

Excuse me? _Our kind_? What kind was that exactly? And what qualities exactly?

Wizards and witches around the room were nodding in agreement. Apparently they also thought I fit some kind of mould. At least _they_ knew what Father was talking about.

Father turned to face me. "I welcome you to the family Armilla. I hope you do me proud and I sincerely hope you will also strive to make the pureblood wizarding well proud too."

Yeah, sure. Whatever. Slimy toad. Can I go home now you twisted git?

Father picked up his goblet of wine and turned back to his guests. "And so I ask you to raise your goblets and join me in toasting my daughter, Armilla."

Everyone picked up their goblets and said "Armilla" in unison, most of them smiling at me. I wanted to run from the room so badly. I couldn't stand being under the gaze of all those people. I supposed I was biased even though I didn't know them well. But then, with a large number of them being Death Eaters, I thought I had a pretty accurate idea of their characters.

Dinner was a thoroughly boring business. It was one of those ostentatious affairs where guests amused themselves with idle chitchat while they dined on small portions of pretentious food. Father ignored me for the majority of the meal, choosing to talk to Narcissa Malfoy instead, who was sitting directly across from me. Instead, I regularly became stuck talking to Mr. Flint, who was without a doubt one of the dullest men I had ever met. Two minutes into a conversation on exactly how taxing to the body walking up and down stairs was, I concluded the wizard led a useless and humdrum life. I was going to suggest that he try Apparating more often, but that would have sounded as if I was pointing out the obvious. Besides, my father was in hearing distance, and the books I had been reading had dictated that it was not my place to make men feel stupid. I would have to content myself with abusing dim-witted people in my head.

The most trying time came after dinner, when everyone gathered in the ballroom. It seemed that many parents were eager to have their sons dance with me all of a sudden and Father was surrounded by the lot of them, each wishing to have his permission to have their sons dance with his daughter. Hello? Was I invisible? Did my dancing limbs not belong to me? Did I have a sign around my neck saying 'Rent this space?' What was wrong with all these people? Can I go home now? You people are boring me senseless.

Not long after the music had started, Draco Malfoy strutted over and offered me his arm without a word. I wanted to punch the smug look right off his nasty face. Occluding hard, I took his arm and let him lead me onto the dance floor. I caught Tonks' eye and she cast me a small smile. My spirits went up a little.

"Many wizards are envying me this first dance you know," Malfoy simpered as we began to dance. Many others around us began to dance as well. "But I told them all that I was a priority."

"Why did you tell them that?" I asked, keeping my voice even.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Why? Because it's the truth, Armilla. I'm the most eligible young wizard here tonight and all the other families know it. They want their sons approved by your father ahead of me." He laughed derisively. "But our fathers have been friends for years. I'm many steps aheads of the rest."

I stared at him. "What do you mean _many steps ahead_?"

Malfoy sneered. "Come on Mill, I can call you that, can't I?"

"No," I said shortly. "My name is Armilla."

A flash of annoyance swept of Malfoy's face. "I've heard your friends call you Mill, but never mind, _Armilla_ it is then."

"Thankyou." Where did he get off, assuming we were good friends who used nicknames? Even Snape had never called me Mill. I nearly laughed out loud at the thought of calling him Sev.

"Come on," Malfoy repeated. "Do you even know how much you're worth Armilla?"

"A considerable amount," I said lightly.

He laughed heartily. "A considerable amount? To put it lightly."

"Why do you care?" I asked, feeling annoyed.

Malfoy pulled me slightly closer so I could practically feel his breath in my face. "The point I'm trying to make is that many families here are no where near as wealthy as you and I. They have enough money to live comfortably, sure, but nothing compared to _us_. They want you to marry their sons so they can secure a higher level of wealth and respectability in their families. After all, you won't be a Snape forever."

I wanted to argue that I might not ever get married, especially if I didn't wish to, but I didn't want it getting back to my father. So Malfoy thought he was going to be my number one? Obnoxious twit.

"If you have plenty of money, Draco, why are you so interested in mine?"

He rolled his eyes. "Keeping money in respectable pureblood families, Armilla. Could you even begin to imagine what we would be worth combined?"

"I have never thought about it," I answered dryly. "I do hope Pansy knows you're making moves behind her back."

Malfoy snorted. "Pansy's an empty vase. She's respectable and everything and it can be convenient to have her around, but in the long run she would drive me crazy. Besides, I do believe it's my money she's after anyway. Her family's wealth has been on the decline for a few generations now."

"How unfortunate," I muttered. "So you seem to have your mind made up that _I_ won't drive you crazy in the long run."

"Of course you wouldn't," he replied. "I may not know you that well, and the fact that you're a Ravenclaw is against you. But you're _Professor Snape's_ sister. Anyone related to _him_ couldn't be ditzy on principle. You're smart, perhaps smarter than that mudblood Granger. And you're pretty. We would certainly have nice looking children."

Now I wanted to throw up. I would go into hiding in a convent before I carried Malfoy's children. And I had a lot more respect for Hermione Granger than I did for Malfoy. Calling someone a mudblood was a disgusting thing. I wished that I could tell Malfoy that I thought Harry Potter was better looking than he was. That would have wiped the smile of the arrogant face. But then, I wouldn't have had time to appreciate it – Snape would have killed me for saying something nice about his most hated student.

"You've certainly got this all planned out," I said, occluding hard so my anger wouldn't rise.

He smiled. "Not really. Just a few thoughts."

The song ended at that point and Malfoy kissed my hand. A shower was certainly in order. The idiot thought we were practically engaged.

Before I had the chance to leave the dance floor, Theodore Nott strode forward and pompously requested that I dance the next with him. I accepted graciously and we danced for a minute and a half before he bothered to speak to me.

"So…you're Snape's sister."

My, my. Better watch this one. He was one bright chappie.

"So it would seem," I said. "I am also Aurelius Snape's daughter. Small world, isn't it?"

Nott let out a small laugh. "Well, I suppose that was a poor attempt at making conversation with you."

"Certainly," I agreed. "Very low points on the conversation-making scale."

Nott snickered. "Fine then. _Your_ turn."

"Alright," I said. "Do all you Slytherins hold parties like this all the time?"

"Well, I tend to go to one or two per year. One of the pureblood families will hold a formal gathering every now and then. Your father hasn't held one this large in a long time. People have come because they are interested in you."

"Perhaps the interest will die off after tonight."

Nott scoffed. "I doubt that. You're worth too much to all these people."

"You know, I don't mean to be judgemental, but I get the feeling that wealth drives many of the people here."

Nott nodded, looking thoughtful. "You would be right. The majority of the people here have two goals when it comes to matchmaking – pureblood and wealth…in that order."

"And you?"

"I don't know. I'm only just sixteen. My parents have been obsessing about my marital status for as long as I can remember. They do enough thinking about it for the three of us."

I laughed. Nott seemed a bit more normal than Malfoy. But I wasn't going to make up my mind yet. I would admit to having the same infectious 'judging Slytherins' disease that plagued the other three Houses at Hogwarts. All first year Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students catch it some time in the first few weeks of first year.

After Nott, I danced with Marcus Flint. Or tried to. The boy may have cheated at Quidditch but he certainly could not apply his wily strategies on the dance floor. He stood on my feet more often than the floor and he squeezed my waist too securely for my liking. His conversation wasn't much better.

"You're looking pretty good tonight, Armilla," he drawled. Had the boy been drinking? I didn't bother answering.

"Perhaps we can sneak off later and dance out in the garden by ourselves or something. Ow!"

"Sorry," I said lightly. It was amazing how well I _accidentally_ stomped on his foot.

By the time I managed to leave the dance floor, I had danced with twelve wizards, including Lucius Malfoy, Mr. Flint and my father. Father congratulated me on impressing all of his guests and warned me not to make any mistakes. Lovely man. It had been disgusting enough dancing with Lucius Malfoy. He had pointedly asked me how I was getting along with my brother. I had answered that everything was fine, occluding the whole time.

I spotted Tonks as I made my way back into the parlour. Avoiding the eye of everyone else, I made a beeline for her.

"That was some lovely dancing, Armilla," she said politely, once I had joined her.

"Thanks. I learned from the best, Miss Donahey."

Tonks let out a low laugh. "Well, you were certainly the most popular choice of dance partner tonight. You will have to tell your brother about all the wizards you danced with."

I smiled at her. "I'm _sure_ he'll be delighted."

"Who will be delighted?" Draco Malfoy had just appeared out of no where. I wished I could make him vanish.

"Never you mind," I said airily. I had to change the subject quickly before Malfoy pressed me. "Draco, this is Mary Donahey, a friend of my governess. Miss Donahey, this is Draco Malfoy. We are in the same year at school."

Tonks and Draco shook hands. It was quite weird that Malfoy had no idea that he was really shaking hands with his cousin.

"How do you do, Draco?" said Tonks. "Tell me, what House are you in at Hogwarts?"

"Slytherin," he answered proudly. "The only House to be in."

"Is that so?" Tonks looked at me. "Is Ravenclaw an unfortunate house to be in then?"

"Not at all. I like Ravenclaw House very much."

"Well, it's Gryffindor and Hufflepuff that you don't want to be in," Malfoy went on. "You've heard of Harry Potter haven't you?" He sneered when Tonks nodded. "I suppose everyone has. Well he's in Gryffindor and he hangs around with a bunch of mudbloods and muggle lovers."

"I see," said Tonks, looking most interested. Personally, I thought she was doing a great job in her role. I knew Tonks well enough to know that she must have been dying to hex Malfoy for what he was saying. But she had certainly gotten Malfoy onto a trivial subject and the conversation ended up lasting for some time. Tonks just continued to look interested and Malfoy just kept talking. In the end, he was called away by Narcissa, who told him that Dolohov was asking to speak with him.

"What a nice boy," said Tonks, her face most sincere. "Now that is a young man any girl's father…or brother…would love have their dear one bring home."

I didn't answer. If I had opened my mouth I probably would have laughed.

We looked around the room for a few moments, each of us lost in thought.

"Dear me, it's already eleven-thirty," said Tonks, looking at her watch. "How time flies when one is having fun."

"Mm," I said. The night was nearly over. I had made it. Now I could just relax and count down to going home! "Well, I'm going to the bathroom, Miss Donahey," I said a moment later. "Do you need to visit the powder room?" I knew Tonks had instructions not to let me wander deserted corridors in other parts of the house by myself while there were still guests in the house.

"I do actually," she replied. "Let us go then."

We crossed the room and walked down the empty hallway to the bathroom. Tonks waited outside the door while I was in the bathroom. I heard someone else come along and Tonks told whoever it was that she was waiting to use the bathroom too. No one else was there when I came out, but I knew then that Tonks would have to use the bathroom now in case the person was nearby. It would have looked fishy if she was just hanging around the bathroom for the sake of it.

I waited near the door, hoping Tonks wouldn't take too long. I heard footsteps and a moment later the eldest Bletchley boy, Arian, came around the corner. Arian was a tall, handsome boy of nineteen. Upon being introduced to him earlier in the evening, I had had a vague vision of him when he had attended Hogwarts. Like the rest of his family, he had been in Slytherin House.

"Hello Armilla," he said. "Are you waiting to use to bathroom too?"

"No," I said. "I'm just waiting for a friend."

"Oh."

We were silent for a moment. More footsteps came down the corridor. It sounded as if the person was having trouble walking. A second later, I smelled liquor and the drunken form of Marcus Flint stumbled around the corner.

"Ohhh," he moaned. "Is there a queue for the bathroom? Bloody shocking that is."

I looked away. Arian also pretended that he had not heard.

"Oh, is that you there, Armilla? I didn't see you at first. You're looking pretty good tonight." He hiccoughed.

We continued to ignore him.

"Oh come on, Milla, don't be a snob." Flint stumbled over towards me. "How about another dance, right here?"

"No, I think I have danced enough for tonight, thanks," I said evenly.

He hiccoughed again. "Just one more? No? How about a kiss then?"

"Be careful, Flint," said Arian quietly. "You've had too much to drink."

"Shut up, Bletchley! I didn't ask you." Flint reached out to push Arian away, but in his drunken state he didn't realise that Arian wasn't in reaching distance. He staggered and knocked into me instead. I quickly moved out of his way.

"Why so hasty to move? Give us a kiss then." I made to move further away, but Flint caught my arm and yanked me back towards him. "I said, give us a kiss." He pushed me into the wall and I could feel his breath on my face. Before I could push him away, he was pulled off me by Arian.

"Get off her, Flint. You're lucky her father wasn't here to see that."

Flint shook himself out of Arian's grasp. "Get your hands off me, Bletchley. Who asked you?" He lunged at me and grabbed my arm. Again, Arian pulled him off. Flint cursed as he tried to free himself from Arian's grasp.

"I think you should get your parents to take you home Flint," said Arian, finally letting go.

"I don't bloody care what _you_ think, Bletchley," Flint yelled, pulling out his wand. Arian also whipped out his own wand, his eyes flitting between Flint and the wand in his hand.

"Tarantallegra!" Flint yelled waving his wand. It was fortunate that in his drunken state, his aim was terrible. Instead sparks flew at nothing in particular as he shook his wand about, clearly at a loss as to why his wand didn't appear to be working.

"Expelliarmus!" shouted Arian, and Flint's wand flew to his hand. Flint stumbled and fell on the floor.

I heard footsteps on either side of me. Tonks had come running out of the bathroom in one direction and I saw my father and Lucius Malfoy approaching us from the other direction.

"What's going on here?" Father demanded angrily. His dark eyes swept over us, taking in the scene before him. "Marcus, why are you on the floor?"

Flint didn't appear to have heard Father. Instead his bloodshot eyes gazed at the wall in front of him.

"He is inebriated, sir," said Arian quietly, addressing himself to Father.

Father looked at Arian, his brow furrowed. "And is that Marcus' wand you've got there Arian?"

"It is, sir. I disarmed him."

"Why did you disarm him?"

"His behaviour to Armilla was not acceptable, sir."

"Not acceptable to _you_, Arian?"

"Not acceptable for proper conduct in general, sir. He kept grabbing your daughter."

Father looked at me. "Is this true, Armilla?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"And what were you doing to make Marcus here lunge for you?"

"Nothing, sir. He came down the corridor and came at me."

"I was here the whole time, sir," Arian put in. "Armilla did nothing to provoke him."

"Mm," said Father, looking down at Marcus on the floor. He turned to Lucius, who was standing to his right. "Lucius, would you kindly go and inform Dalias that his son needs to be taken home?"

"Certainly," said Lucius, sneering down at Flint. He shook his head. "_Shocking_." He disappeared down the hallway.

Father turned back to me. "Armilla, I hope you thanked Arian here for being of assistance to you."

I looked at Arian. "Thankyou very much," I said. "It was a good thing that you were here." Personally, I knew I could have hexed Flint myself, but I knew the consequences would have been very different if Father had caught me hexing a guest, drunk or not.

"No problem," said Arian simply. "Excuse me." He went further down the hall and disappeared into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that, Mary," said Father, looking at Tonks.

"Yes, well, I'm afraid this young boy needs to control his drinking, doesn't he?"

"It would seem so," Father replied, sneering down his hooked nose at Flint. "Do excuse us, Mary. Our guests are starting to leave and Armilla needs to say goodbye to them."

Tonks didn't dare do anything but nod as I went off with Father, leaving her in the corridor with Flint.

Father didn't say anything as we walked to the entrance hall. It had been made very clear to him that I wasn't at fault. I hadn't caused Flint to behave the way he did. I was glad that Arian had actually spoken up and defended me. He could have kept to himself.

We spent another half hour saying goodbye to guests. The Malfoys were amongst the last to leave and they didn't go until Narcissa how told me again how pretty I looked and Lucius and Draco had kissed my hand.

The Flints were the last to leave. Mrs. Flint looked thoroughly embarrassed and kept shooting me nasty looks as if the whole thing was my fault. Mr. Flint kept apologising to my Father for his son's behaviour and Marcus himself looked completely dazed as he wandered out the door.

Father was very reserved as he accepted Mr. Flint's apologies and said his goodbyes. I was polite as well, though I was quite disgusted that Mr. Flint's apologies weren't directed to me. _I_ was the one who had been slighted, though I supposed Father felt offended too.

After the door had closed, only Father and I remained in the hall. Rougier, Mary and Jiffy were in the parlour, using magic to clean up.

"Well I suppose the night went off quite well for the most part," said Father, looking down at me.

"I am sorry about what Marcus did, Father."

"What were you doing in the corridor anyway?"

"I had accompanied Miss Donahey to the bathroom. I was waiting for her."

Father gave a slight nod. "I see. It is lucky for you that Arian was there. It would have been worse for you if you had drawn your wand. People would have talked if you had been caught hexing the boy."

Now I was curious. "If Arian hadn't been there, Father, what would you have recommended to do?"

Father looked thoughtful. "Well, if the situation had become serious, then I would have allowed you to draw your wand just to disarm or immobilise him."

I nodded. So the man had an inkling of sense after all.

"I'm glad it didn't get to that point though," Father went on, his expression becoming hard. "This is already going to become the gossip for the next week."

"But it will reflect badly on the Flints, not us," I pointed out.

"Even so, child," said Father shaking his head. "It does not do well to get caught up in these affairs."

I said nothing.

"Well, I'm off to bed. I suggest you do the same. Goodnight." He kissed me on the cheek and went upstairs. I couldn't believe my luck. I had been so worried that Father would turn the whole thing around somehow and blame me and hex me. I must have gotten good reports from the other families – enough to put him off hexing me anyway.

I was suddenly hit with tiredness as I dragged my feet up the stairs. I felt like tumbling into bed fully dressed as I entered my bedroom. I had been in the room for two minutes when Tonks when she came in. She closed the door and cast a few charms again.

"Rougier has gone to bed," she said. "I told her I would show myself out after saying goodnight to you." She paused, biting her lip. She moved forward and sat down on my bed. "Armilla, I'm so sorry about what happened."

"What do you mean?" I asked, moving to sit on the bed next to her. "It wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom."

"Yes, you should have. You said yourself that you had to go because you told that wizard that was why you were there."

Tonks shook her head. "I'm so glad that Bletchley boy had been there. It could have been so much worse for you."

"But it wasn't," I said. "Forget about it. It's all over and there's no reason to dwell on it."

Tonks looked at me, her face flushed. "Are you sure that you're alright?"

"I'm fine," I said. "I just need to take a long shower."

Tonks laughed as she stood up. "I don't blame you…all those disgusting wizards kissing you…"

She held out her arms and pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks for everything," I said.

"Don't thank me. I've got to go now. Make sure you contact Severus before going to bed."

"I will."

"I will see you later then," she said as she moved towards the door.

"Bye," I said, feeling sad that I wouldn't see her back again the following day.

I turned and headed for the bathroom to take off my make up and take a shower.

Forty minutes later, after a _very_ long shower, I was ready for bed. I distinguished all the lights except for one candle, and pulled out the chocolate frog card. It was well and truly after midnight, but Snape would have been waiting up for both Tonks and I. Considering that Tonks would have apparated outside the Hogwarts grounds and walked up to the school, I guessed that Snape would have already gotten Tonks' report.

_Have you seen Tonks yet? _

_She just left. Quite an interesting report I must say. She didn't mention whether or not Father ended up blaming you. _

_He didn't. I was lucky. _

_Apparently his spirits were high because everyone was so impressed with you. I won't ask if you had an enjoyable night as it clearly didn't end well. I am not at all impressed with what happened. _

He was angry then. I had thought he would be.

_Did Tonks tell you that it wasn't my fault? _

_Yes. I know it wasn't your fault. I have added Flint to my hit list though. Are you alright? _

_I'm fine. _

_It is fortunate that Flint has left Hogwarts. I would have given him detention for the rest of the year…at the very least. _

_It was lucky that Arian Bletchley was there. It would have been worse if I had used magic. _

_Indeed. Bletchley wasn't a bad student. Slytherins are not all tarred with the one brush, Armilla. _

_I never said they were. Though, Draco Malfoy is certainly one of a kind. _

_How so? _

_He has already planned our marriage and children. _

_What an extraordinary imagination he has. He must truly live in a world of his own. I can guarantee that you will NOT marry Draco Malfoy, no matter how pure his blood is or how much money he has. _

_I have no intentions of it. Many of the parents there tonight did have intentions of me marrying their sons. _

_Yes, Tonks mentioned as much. Apparently you had to dance with the lot of them. _

_I did. Father was watching. Tonks was good though. She kept talking to people to stop them coming to talk to me. _

_I suppose she did a creditable job then. Did you get into a situation where you had to concentrate hard on occluding? _

_I occluded the whole night. But Lucius Malfoy did ask about how we were getting along. He seemed pretty interested. _

_He would be. What did you say? _

_I said everything was fine. I kept occluding in case he wanted more information. _

_Good. You have done well tonight, Armilla. _

_I'm glad it's over. _

_So am I. Is that ridiculous governess staying on for the next couple of days? _

_I don't know…but I get the feeling that I'm going to spend the rest of my time here memorising books again. _

_Certainly not time well spent in my opinion. The sooner you come back to Hogwarts the better. _

_I wish I could leave now. But I have books to memorise. _

_Go to bed then so you will not be too tired to remember senseless facts. _

_Tomorrow is shaping up to be a very depressing day. _

_For every book you have to memorise, I will buy you a book that you actually want to read. Does that put the situation in a better light? _

Wow. That was nice of him.

_It does…promise? _

_Of course I promise. I never go back on my word. _


	45. When Weakness is a Virtue

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 44

On New Year's Eve I woke up in an extremely good mood. I was going home the next day! I wouldn't have to see my father's face until the summer. I wouldn't have to see Jiffy's ugly little squashed face for months. I wouldn't have to memorise pointless old books. And I wouldn't have to put up with that damned governess. I could go back to Snape and not worry about ridiculous dinner parties where other pureblood families sized me up as a potential wife for their sons.

As I had predicted while conversing with Snape, I had spent the whole of the previous day in the library memorising books under Rougier's stern eye. I hadn't seen Father the entire day – he'd gone out visiting friends and hadn't felt the need to take me with him…thankfully. When discussing the day with Snape the night before, he had seemed happy that I hadn't left the house with the man.

I couldn't wait to go home to Hogwarts. Once I got back, it seemed that all I had to worry about was my OWLs, being polite to Malfoy without offending Pansy, and the occasional letter from Father. I would keep going down to Snape's quarters (no, _our_ quarters) on a Friday night and life could generally get better. It would be icing on the cake if I could stop seeing Shar's face in my mind every time Merle's face wandered in…but as Snape had said, it would take time.

As I made my way to the dining room for dinner, I smiled as I reminded myself that this time tomorrow I would be back at Hogwarts with Snape. Even though I had spoken to him every night since my arrival at Snape Manor, I longed to see my brother in person. I didn't know why I was so eager…it wasn't as if we were inseparable or anything. We often didn't talk to each other much even if we were in the same room and besides being members of the same family I didn't think we had that much in common. I couldn't put my finger on the reason…but the thought of seeing Snape again made me feel really happy.

I was surprised to hear voices as I approached the dining room door. One voice was my father's, obviously, but the other voice certainly didn't belong to Jiffy. It was a lot deeper than Jiffy's voice. As I entered the room, I saw that the voice belonged to a wizard I hadn't seen before. He was a tall man who I guessed to be in his mid fifties, with short ginger hair and a goatee that curled into two ringlets at the bottom. His dark eyes seemed to stand out in an unnatural way against his pale skin. He wore scarlet robes that clashed terribly with his hair.

Upon hearing me come in, the man immediately fixed me with a piercing stare, his look calculating.

"Ah, Armilla," said Father vaguely, looking at me briefly before returning his gaze to the wizard next to him. "Armilla, this is a friend of mine, Horsnell Coleman. He was unable to attend our dinner part the other night so he has just…ah…_dropped in_ for dinner."

I walked further into the room as Mr. Coleman came forward with his arm outstretched. Behind the man's back, Father narrowed his eyes and I couldn't work out whether he was annoyed at me or his friend.

"Pleased to meet you, sir," I said as I shook Mr. Coleman's hand.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you, young lady," he said in a low voice. His lips barely moved as he spoke. "It was unfortunate that I could not attend the other night. But no matter…no, no matter at all. This way I will be able to give you my full attention."

"Your full attention, sir?" I had no idea what the man was going on about.

"Dinner!" said my father briskly, moving between Coleman and I and ushering me to my seat.

Hmm…something fishy was certainly afoot. Better get a detective on the case. Where was my brother when I needed him? Very well, I had better be my own detective.

"Your father tells me that you're a fifth year at Hogwarts, Armilla," said Coleman a few minutes after we had begun eating.

"Yes, sir," I replied. Father's fork had paused halfway between his plate and his mouth when Coleman had addressed me. He had watched me carefully out of the corner of his eye as I had answered. I was starting to feel unnerved.

"And what house are you in?"

"Ravenclaw, sir."

"Ah! Fancy that, Aurelius!" said Coleman, smiling at Father. "Just like Hazel. Like mother like daughter, eh?"

"Yes," Father replied quietly, staring at his plate.

"I suppose you are studying hard for your OWLs then, child?"

"Yes, sir." I hated being called 'child'. Snape had done it for a brief amount of time after we had found out about being related. He had gradually stopped after we had become more comfortable in each other's presence. I had thought that he had initially done it subconsciously as a way of putting a barrier between us; a way of reminding me that though we were brother and sister, _he_ was the adult and _I_ was the child.

"And what are your career aspirations?"

Father looked directly at me now, but his face gave nothing away. It was just a blank stare…but somehow I knew that this was an important man and my answers would be carefully weighed.

"I have not put a great deal of thought into a career, sir," I said honestly. It was true. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do after Hogwarts. "I have just been concentrating on the content in each of my subjects." Out of the corner of my eye, Father gave the slightest nod.

"How are your defence skills?"

"I have not had a great deal of practice sir, but I believe they are adequate for what is expected of a witch at my age."

Again, Father gave a slight nod. Though I had no idea what was going on, at least my answers were acceptable to Father.

Coleman now addressed himself to Father. "Have you tested your daughter's defence skills, Aurelius?"

Father shook his head. "No, I have not."

"Strange. I seem to remember that when your son was this age you were very intent on him demonstrating perfection in everything related to the subject." Coleman leaned back in his chair, surveying Father closely.

"I did." Father replied simply. "I trained Severus very early on."

"I remember," said Coleman, inclining his head. "So why not Armilla?" He lowered his voice to a mere whisper. "Do you not have the same…_intentions_…for your daughter?"

_Intentions?_ If I hadn't been occluding so hard I was sure I would have brought up all my dinner by now. This man was creepy.

"I do not believe that Armilla is suited to that path, Horsnell," said Father, looking at Coleman with an extremely serious expression. "By that, I do not mean to imply that I will educate her against the cause. I believe she can serve our kind in other ways."

Coleman looked sceptical. "How so?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

"By marrying into the right pureblood family and producing pureblood children with our morals. You might have noticed, Horsnell, that the pureblood members of the community do not make up the numbers that they once did?' Father's tone now had a bite to it. "More and more witches are engaging in careers and are less interested in marrying and producing children, especially the pureblood ones."

"You're paranoid, my dear friend," said Coleman, smiling.

"Am I?" said Father harshly. "Do tell me, Horsnell, how many witches in our Master's service have failed to produce children to bring up according to the Dark Lord's morals?"

Coleman grunted. "Not many."

"Not many?" Father scoffed. "Freda Kirkland? Giselle Morley? Abigail Ferandan? Liza McDougall? Bellatrix Lestrange? Estella Dzminski? I can go on-"

"No, no," Coleman interrupted, raising his hand. "You've made your point. Though I might add, Aurelius, that it might have been hard for Bellatrix to raise a family in Azkaban."

"The pureblood families are _dying_ out, Horsnell," said Father fiercely, his voice rising. "All these witches have given up their lives for the service of the Dark Lord. Do you not think that the Dark Lord can be honoured on a higher level if witches of the next generation served him by producing pureblood children to follow his teachings?"

"Well, I suppose…"

"I mean, I will admit that some of these women currently in the Dark Lord's service have done admirable jobs," said Father. "But I firmly believe that their place should be in the home, bringing up children to increase our number. When the time is up for these Death Eaters who will replace them? Tell me that!"

"Alright, Aurelius," said Coleman, sounding exasperated. "You have made your point."

Father heaved a deep sigh. He was furious.

We ate the rest of the meal in complete silence. I found it extremely uncomfortable. Every now and then, Coleman would glance in my direction and this would mean that Father would immediately watch me out of the corner of his eye. I didn't know what he wanted me to do.

At the conclusion of the meal, Coleman broke the silence.

"I have my orders, Aurelius. Do you wish me to break them?"

Father sighed. "No, Horsnell. Of course not."

"I am glad of that." Coleman stood up. "I am going to freshen up. Shall I meet you in the parlour down that hall in a few minutes?"

"Very well," Father murmured, placing his own knife and fork on his plate.

Coleman nodded and strode from the room. Father and I sat in silence as we heard the man's footsteps fade away, and then the unmistakable sound of a door closing.

Father took out his wand and cast a number of non-verbal spells. He turned back to me with a very serious expression on his face.

"Armilla, you are to listen to me very carefully."

I nodded, occluding hard to keep my panic from rising. Why were we meeting Coleman in the parlour in a few minutes? What were we going to do?

"Horsnell Coleman is one of the Dark Lord's most faithful servants," said Father, his black eyes fixed on mine. "He is especially prized by our Master because of his ability for talent spotting. Some of the most skilled Death Eaters were hand-picked by Horsnell to undergo the Dark Lord's training."

I swallowed. I knew what Father was getting at, but I still didn't want to hear it.

"The Dark Lord knows of your existence of course," he went on. "And now he has sent Horsnell to test you for any natural ability in the Dark Arts area. Severus possessed that ability, you see, and I suppose he is interested as to whether you share your brother's talent." Father sneered slightly, having admitted that his son had talent.

"I have not tested you on this knowledge because I firmly believe your future should not take place as a Death Eater. You heard my reasons for this just now. But rest assured that producing children in the Dark Lord's honour would be held in high esteem."

Well, _thanks_ for _that_. Have children for the Dark Lord's honour? Could the man hear himself?

Father leaned forward and grasped my wrist very tightly. "Horsnell means to test you, Armilla. He wants to see how well you duel and how much nerve you have."

Well, my ability to control my emotions was certainly getting a workout now. How strange it was that I had woken up in such a good mood. Perhaps I had jinxed myself.

"Armilla, I do not know what ability you possess in this area, but you are _not_ to excel," said Father fiercely. "If you demonstrate a sufficient level of talent then Coleman will recommend you to the Dark Lord as a potential Death Eater...and I will have no choice but to hand you over because my Master's word is law."

I think my heart skipped a beat.

"If you appear weaker, then Coleman may not bother recommending you and I will have a better time convincing my Master of my plan for your future."

Yes, my heart certainly skipped a beat then. Dire straits indeed.

"I can't appear too weak, Father," I said, "or he will know that I'm putting it on."

"Show _some_ aptitude," said Father nodding, "but just look as if you lose confidence or your nerve easily. The Dark Lord still prizes witches weaker in skill, as long as they bring up their children with the right mindset."

I nodded. My heart felt as if it was pumping down at my feet.

"Come," said Father, standing up. He waved his wand again to put a stop to whatever charms he had just cast.

I followed him out of the room and into the parlour down the hall. Coleman came in about twenty seconds after we had entered.

I immediately felt a blow just above my left elbow. The maniac had decided to attack upon entering. And I wasn't allowed to defend myself properly…and in a strange way, I was okay with that. I could put up with a load of injuries now if it meant that I would not be handed over to the Dark Lord.

I took my wand and turned to face my predator. I was disadvantaged now anyway because my left arm was injured – I was left-handed.

"Snide," said Father in a low tone, looking at Coleman with a blank expression. "Quite snide, Horsnell, to attack upon entering and catch my daughter off-guard."

"Well, it was an easy job I must say," Coleman replied coldly. "She obviously is not trained to hear possible prowlers approaching."

"She probably thought that it was our _dinner guest_ returning from the bathroom," said Father, raising an eyebrow. "I've never seen you take out _your _wand ready for attack when I've returned from the bathroom whilst at _your_ house. It would seem quite rude, don't you think so?"

Coleman laughed. "I suppose, Aurelius. Always politically correct aren't you?"

"Hmph," was Father's reply.

"I want to test you on your duelling skills, Armilla," said Coleman vaguely. He didn't seem inclined to offer any further explanation.

"Furnunculus!" he cried.

On instinct, from all my practice with Snape, I immediately moved my wand to block the spell, but as I did so, remembered what saving myself meant and so I added an extra movement my wand, causing the shield to become lop-sided and fail. The spell hit me on the stomach and it wasn't long before I could feel a few boils erupting on my skin.

"Well it seems you know a shield charm, but knowledge alone won't help you, child," said Coleman maliciously. "You need to have timing and nerve. Densaugeo!"

This time I dodged the jinx, whilst casting the impediment jinx. I was successful in slowing down the movements of Coleman and I made a half-hearted attempt at disarming him when I realised that he had ended my jinx. He pointed his wand at me again. "Locomotor Mortis!"

My acting skills made it look as if I realised too late that I had to get out of the way. The spell hit me and my legs were left stiff and rigid.

"Well, well, not very impressive at all," said Coleman lazily. "How will you get yourself out of this one?"

I looked down (which took great courage because Snape had taught me very early on to never lose sight of my opponent) and I ended the spell acting on my legs. Predictably, Coleman took advantage of me looking away and he cried out a trip jinx which made me fall over. God, I felt _stupid_. I was so glad that Snape wasn't here to watch. It was embarrassing.

Twenty humiliating minutes later, Coleman announced that he had finished. By that time, I had more boils than I cared to admit, I had cuts up and down both arms, nausea, a splitting headache and perhaps worst of all, itchy and sore eyes. Coleman had cast the conjunctivitis curse on me and I could barely open my eyes wide enough to see clearly. I must have looked a mess. I certainly felt it at any length. I wanted to be sick.

Father had remained silent throughout the entire 'session'. I expected no sympathy to come from him in regards to my injuries. He was, after all, responsible for injuring me before without having any qualms about it.

I had blocked Coleman's spells a few times, so I didn't look altogether ridiculous. But I had certainly made it seem as if I possessed no natural talent.

"Well, Aurelius," said Coleman, pocketing his wand. "What a disadvantage that Armilla was not brought up by you. I fear that her skills have not been well developed."

"So I see," Father replied in a cold tone, sending me a filthy look. "I daresay the muggle-lover who brought her up didn't care for proper duelling skills."

"Well Severus remains a credit to you at any rate," said Coleman, eyeing Father with interest.

Father stared at him, glaring. "You think so, do you?" He turned to look at me. "Armilla you are excused. Go and wash and then go to bed."

"Yes, sir," I murmured. I found it very hard to see clearly. As I passed Coleman, I said goodnight, though I really wished the man nothing but ill.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Good lord, look at _you_," said Rougier as I entered my bedroom. "Not so talented after all, I see!" She let out a cold laugh. "Heavens child, there's puss coming out of your eyes!"

"Is there something you wanted?" I said, pushing threatening tears away.

"That's no way to speak to your governess."

"Maybe not, but it's certainly the way to speak to a painted old hag like you!" I yelled. I was _not_ going to cry. My eyes were sore and my head felt like there was a fierce war going on inside it.

I felt a sharp blow on my right shoulder as Rougier struck me with her wand.

"You insolent, pig-headed child!" Rougier spat. "I will not be spoken to like that. You can forget about asking me to heal those injuries for you."

"As if you would have!" I retorted as she flounced from the room. I stood alone in the room, just staring at the door that Rougier had just slammed shut. I didn't know how long I stood there, but it must have been ages. I could hear footsteps approaching again and a moment later my door was flung open. Father burst in, looking outraged.

"Armilla! Explain yourself at once! I have just been informed that you insulted your governess just as she was trying to help you! Well? What have you to say?"

"She _wasn't_ going to help me," I said meekly.

"How dare you treat her that way!" Father looked furious, though I thought most of his fury had been built up from dinnertime. "Your behaviour was unacceptable, Armilla, and I have a good mind to let you cope with all those injuries yourself!"

I said nothing. I didn't trust myself.

Father glared at me. It seemed that he took my silence as impertinence, for a moment later he took out his wand and waved it in my direction. I turned on instinct to dodge it, knowing I would be in more trouble if I used my wand, but somehow it ended up hitting me in the back. Pain unlike any other I had felt before burst through my entire being and I grabbed onto the bedpost to stop myself falling to the floor.

"Goodnight," said Father coldly. He walked back out the door, closing it with a snap behind him.

My knees buckled and I collapsed onto the floor, letting the tears flow out. The pain in my back was unbearable. I only lasted there a few seconds before I had to run to the bathroom to be sick…I felt so sick.

Sobbing, I took out my wand and held it in my injured left hand and clumsily tried to subdue the pain and the rush of blood I could feel. It took several attempts to stop the flow of blood, but I couldn't rid myself of the pain. I managed to subdue it slightly. I tried to enunciate through my sobs as I set out healing the rest of my injuries. I rid myself of the boils and cuts easily, but the conjunctivitis was not so easy to clear up. In the end, I managed to clear away the infection, but not the redness or itchiness of my eyes. Even the headache-clearing charm Snape had taught me didn't seem to work to its best effect. Thought, admittedly, I wasn't in the best shape to be healing myself anyway.

I had a shower – and tried not to cringe at the pain when the water touched my back. Every time I felt it, I wanted to hex my father with the worst hexes I knew.

But it was all okay. Snape was coming in the morning. I wouldn't have to put up with all this for much longer.

I felt so stupid. I wanted to go home. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted my brother.

I climbed into bed, my only relief being that I could at least talk to him through the chocolate frog card before tomorrow. As I picked up the card, I noticed that the wizard on the front was waving to me. That was odd. Snape usually waited for _me_ to contact _him_. I accessed the message and could scarcely believe the words that appeared on the card.

_I won't be able to talk to you tonight – something has come up. I will see you tomorrow._

He must have been called by the Dark Lord. The thought of it made me want to be sick all over again. I lay down, hoping against hope that Coleman had told his master that I wasn't worth bothering about. What if the Dark Lord had called Snape to ask _his_ opinion of my skills?

Snape must have been in a less desirable situation than I right now, but I was so crushed that I couldn't talk to him. Fresh tears made themselves known and I winced with pain every time I moved. I was so miserable…but I was going home tomorrow. I sobbed anyway through my mixed bursts of misery and happiness. I was going home tomorrow…but I was currently being weighed up as a potential Death Eater that no one had any say in if the Dark Lord required it.

As the clock chimed twelve times, bringing in the New Year, I fell into a feverish doze, wondering if the coming year would be more unpredictable than the last.


	46. I Know You Know

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 45

On New Year's Day I awoke a lot later than usual. I thought I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw that it was after nine thirty. I had missed breakfast! Oh, I hoped Father was not going to be mad…it was strange that Rougier hadn't come to wake me like she usually did. But then, I had offended her enough the night before; I didn't think that she cared now whether I got into more trouble or not.

My head throbbed as I got out of bed, but it was nothing to the pain in my back from where Father had hexed me. Further attempts to subdue the pain failed – that hex must have been a speciality of Father's. Git.

Though I rose late, I had barely slept at all, probably three hours at the most. After I had gotten Snape's message I hadn't tried so hard to occlude properly before sleeping. As a result, I had nightmares all night long and I spent long periods of time just staring into the darkness, too nervous to fall asleep in case I dreamt again that Snape was killed by the Dark Lord and I had to go and live with Father and his new wife, Zita Rougier. Just thinking about such a pairing made me shudder.

I spent half an hour in the shower, still feeling half asleep and trying my best to ignore my back pain, my headache and my sore eyes from the conjunctivitis hex. I got an appalling shock when I looked into the mirror. I looked terrible! I looked as if I had…well, just stood by while someone had hexed me for the fun of it. And I looked as if I hadn't slept in days. For the first time since I had been at my Father's house, I actually applied make up because I _wanted_ to – I didn't want to look like a complete failure when Snape showed up.

Speaking of Snape, he should have been arriving at any moment. I could go back to Hogwarts today! Everything would be alright, as long as You Know Who didn't fancy me joining his Death Eater ranks. I hastily did my hair, dressed and made sure I had packed all of my belongings. Through all the pain I was currently feeling, my strongest feeling was happiness…I was leaving!

As I was making my bed, Rougier sauntered into the room, a slight smirk playing about her lips. She stopped in front of my bed and just folded her arms.

I knew she was being dramatic. She was waiting for me to inquire why she was there. I chose to ignore her as I straightened the bedspread.

"I bet you're in a sad mood this morning," she said finally, clapping her hands together with a big smile. She put on a baby voice. "You're leaving Daddy behind and going back to school."

"C'est la vie," I said airily and I placed the pillows back on the bed.

"Do you miss your brother then?" She now had such a huge smile on her face that I wondered what she was playing at.

I shrugged. "I suppose I miss him like any other sister would miss her brother."

She took a step closer to me. "Oh, but I _know_ he's more than a brother to you. He wouldn't really play the role of _brother_ to you now, would he? A lot more I would say. What is it like to have _two_ fathers?"

I ignored her, choosing instead to concentrate on placing the bolster in exactly the right position. Really, the old nitwit was unnecessarily talkative this morning.

Rougier sighed dramatically. "Though, since you don't have a _mother_, I suppose one couldn't begrudge you having two fathers. But what a negative influence on your adolescent years, to be brought up by two _men_. I shudder when I think what you will be like when you're eighteen or nineteen. You'll be a wild tomboy!"

"Is there something you wanted?" I asked harshly. "Or would you like me to get started on _my_ opinion of _you_?"

Rougier raised her eyebrows. "I couldn't give a knut what you think of me. Who cares what an uncouth, untalented, spoilt rich girl like you thinks of them!"

As annoyed as I was at the woman, I laughed. I knew she wanted me to get more and more offended, so I laughed.

"Uncouth?" I repeated. "Good one."

"I-" she paused, looking confused. Excellent. I was successful.

"Yes?" I said smoothly. "You were about to tell me what you came for, no?"

"Don't get smart with me, miss," she said coldly. "I came to tell you not to expect to see your _dear_ brother this morning."

I suddenly felt cold. My heart started to pump faster.

"Why…why not?" I stammered.

Rougier smiled nastily. "Dear, dear, little one. Think he can't be bothered coming for you? Think he'd rather leave you here? Think he might have stopped _loving_ you?"

Love? The old hag was being absurd.

She let out a high pitched cold laugh. "But who could love _you_?"

"Are you going to answer me or not?" I said, trying my best to sound indifferent.

Rougier could barely contain her glee. "It would seem that Severus is too busy to bother himself with collecting you this morning. He has delegated the task to someone else. An acquaintance of his is coming to meet you in London. I am to take you there myself in a little over an hour."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I didn't have to stay. But then, I was not sure about leaving the house with Rougier again. And I wasn't sure about whoever this _acquaintance_ was. What if it was someone in disguise for the Dark Lord and Snape had nothing to do with this new arrangement?

"Oh the shame," said Rougier as she made her way to the door. "To not be wanted by one's own brother."

"Who are you talking to?" I said coldly. "I hope not me, because I stopped listening to your dribble a long time ago."

Rougier's eyes flashed angrily. She was so easy to upset. I knew it was risky for me to torment her, but I was already in a considerable amount of pain…it couldn't get a great deal worse. And the satisfaction I felt every time I won a verbal fight was so wonderful.

"Don't entertain the idea of coming down for breakfast," she said angrily. "Breakfast was a couple of hours ago. Your father decided that since you were so rude to miss it, you won't eat at all."

I shrugged. "Okay. I'm not hungry. I didn't want breakfast anyway, but thanks very much for your concern." What I really wanted was a good pain-killing potion, a dreamless sleep potion and my bed in the dungeons at Hogwarts.

Rougier didn't bother answering. She slammed the door behind her and I heard her footsteps approach the stairs.

I went into the bathroom and took out my chocolate frog card. It was to risky to view it in my bedroom in case someone came in. I was relieved when I saw the wizard waving to me. Snape had sent another message.

_I'm sorry. Some Order related issues have come up, preventing me from coming to get you this morning. Tonks will meet you in London, so don't worry. I am hoping to see you before the day is out._

I felt better that I had gotten the news directly from Snape, but I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I knew it was selfish, but I was in such a lot of pain and Snape was the only person I wanted to talk to. He was the only one who really understood. I couldn't tell Tonks or anyone else about the nature of my back injury or why my eyes were so sore because it would lead to too many questions. I had to communicate the events of the day before to Snape before anyone else.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Hurry up! It's time to go," Rougier called from the hall.

I slipped my shrunken bag and Morag's cage into the pocket of my cloak. Morag hadn't returned from Hogwarts. I wasn't annoyed at her at all. I would have preferred to stay there too. I just hoped that her cheerful hooting hadn't driven Snape insane…I wouldn't have put it past him to cast a silencing charm on her.

With every movement, I tried not to wince from the pain. My eyes were a little clearer, but still sore. I hoped it wasn't obvious that my eyes were suffering from a charm-induced form of conjunctivitis. I had spent the remainder of my time at Father's house repeatedly applying soothing charms to my eyes and back. My back simply refused to heal…if anything, it was getting worse.

I followed Rougier down the stairs and into the entrance hall where Father was waiting by the door. Vile, odious man. I loathed every bit of him. He didn't want to stop me being a Death Eater for my own piece of mind, but for his.

"And so your short stay with me has come to an end, my dear," he said, reaching out to take my hand. Short stay? _Really?_ It felt like a lifetime.

"I do hope that you will remember everything you have learnt over the past week," he continued, raising his head slightly so that he looked down his hooked nose at me. "It is my earnest desire that you apply your learning in every situation that presents itself to you, even at school."

"Yes, Father." I must remember to curtesy to Snape, Malfoy and every other male I came into contact with. Though maybe not the Gryffindors…Snape would be furious if I curtsied to a Gryffindor…though then again, I doubt he would approve of me curtseying at all. Unnecessary attention.

Father sighed. "Though if I could, I would withdraw you from Hogwarts so I could send you to Beauxbatons Academy." He paused, scowling. "But Severus will not hear of it."

"I am happy at Hogwarts, Father," I said.

"Happiness at school only occurs by chance," he snapped. "I am not interested in your happiness at school, but your proper upbringing and education in what is proper."

Well, _excuse_ me. How _dare_ I speak? Shut up, Armilla, you'll give yourself another injury.

"Well, then," said Father, after he had kissed me on the cheek (and I tried not to vomit), "at least you remain a quiet child, that is a virtue. Is it not so, Zita?"

"Of course," crooned Zita, smiling cheerfully. "I recommend that Armilla continues to practise being quiet during her next stay here." Hmph, and I recommend that _Zita_ practises not talking through her-

"Unfortunately, I don't believe that will be for some time," Father answered, interrupting my unladylike thoughts. He inclined his head. "Well, until next time, Armilla."

"Goodbye, Father," I said. I hope I never have to see you again. I walked out the front door without a backwards glance, not even to see if Rougier was following me. I was going home!

Rougier caught up with me before we got to the front gate. Once we were back in an apparition zone, I had to take her arm so we could disapparate and apparate in London. I cringed just touching her arm. But at least this wasn't my first time at apparition – I could have really made a fool of myself.

We appeared in a street not far from Diagon Alley. Rougier hadn't bothered to tell me where the meeting place actually was. It was a very busy street, full of people shopping and I caught sight of many Hogwarts students with their families.

"This Tonks lady had better show up soon," Rougier grumbled. "I have things to do."

I wanted to laugh. Rougier had no idea that she had met Tonks as Mary Donahey a few times now.

"So leave," I said. "I'll be alright."

Rougier shook her head. "And bear the wrath of your Father if anything happened to you?"

I laughed. "Not that you'd care if anything happened to me."

Rougier turned and gave me her sweetest smile. "I may spare a second of remorse for you, dearest child. But then I would be distracted by something more interesting."

I opened my mouth to retort, but I closed it as soon as I heard an all too familiar voice behind me.

"Wotcha, Armilla!"

I turned around to see Tonks smiling face. She looked more formal than usual, probably for Rougier's sake. Her hair was golden blonde, and extremely long and her eyes were chocolate brown.

"Hi Tonks," I said, grinning. We didn't hug each other in front of Rougier in case Rougier reported back to Father that we were close. I wasn't really close to Tonks anyway, but I didn't want her on my Father's investigation list.

Rougier cleared her throat. I sighed.

"Tonks, this is my governess, Madame Rougier. Madame Rougier, this is an acquaintance of mine, Tonks."

Rougier shook Tonks' hand. "Tonks is your first name?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

Tonks grinned broadly. "No, my first name is Nymphadora, but Armilla knows I don't like to acknowledge it as such."

"Oh," said Rougier, staring at Tonks as if she had a bad smell.

Tonks clapped her hands together. "Alright then," she said brightly, "best be going, Armilla."

"Okay," I said. I turned to face Rougier. "Bye then," I said, completely nonchalant.

She nodded at me and then at Tonks before turning on her heal and sweeping off in the opposite direction.

"Lovely old bird, isn't she?" said Tonks, staring after her.

"The best," I agreed. "I'm personally going to nominate her for an Order of Merlin."

"Excellent," Tonks laughed. "First class, of course."

I stared at her for a moment. "Shouldn't I be asking you something to make sure it _is_ you?"

"Ah, very perceptive," she said, nodding. "Alright then, ask away."

I frowned, trying to think of a fitting question.

"My brother wasn't keen for you to undertake a certain role recently. What was the reason for his disapproval?"

Tonks grinned, her eyes shining. "Too clumsy? Ha! I certainly proved him wrong, didn't I?"

I laughed. "You certainly did."

Tonks frowned as she looked at me closely. "But you don't look well at all, Armilla. Are you feeling alright?"

I shrugged. "I don't feel the best. I'm really tired."

Tonks nodded seriously. "You look as if you haven't slept in days."

"I'll be alright," I said. "Just knowing I don't have to go back there for awhile is enough to make me feel better." I looked around me. "Though, I suppose this isn't the place to ask the nature of why you had to come and get me?" I whispered.

Tonks shook her head. She looked closely at me again. "I know you're tired, but are you up for some shopping?"

"Shopping?" I repeated. "You have shopping to do?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, but you do."

"I do? I wasn't aware of it."

Tonks smiled slyly.

"What's up?" I asked curiously. "Are you trying to point out that I need to change my look?"

She laughed. "No, there's nothing wrong with your look. I managed to convince Severus a few days ago that while you're still on holidays you might have some shopping that you would prefer to do in the company of a woman, and I simply offered my services…" she looked at me significantly, and I suddenly understood.

"Tonks," I said, blushing. "You told Severus that I needed to shop for…girl stuff?"

Tonks grinned. "Well, I didn't actually use those words. I pointed out that his sister was fifteen and probably had shopping to do that she wouldn't feel comfortable doing with _him_."

"And what did he say to that?" My face must have been so red.

"He sneered at me, Armilla!" she replied indignantly. "So I immediately put it to him that, _fine_, _he_ could take you shopping for such items at first available opportunity. I was only offering my services as one of the only women he knows that you might feel comfortable with. As far as _I_ was concerned, _he_ could be seen by all his students at Hogwarts, taking his sister shopping in lingerie shops!"

"And what did he said to that?" I asked, my eyes wide.

Tonks let out a triumphant laugh. "He didn't say anything! He reached into his pocket, pulled out some money and thrust it into my hand."

I stared at her incredulously. "You'll never live that down, Tonks."

Tonks smirked. "No, _he'll_ never live that down, Armilla. As skilled a wizard as he is, Armilla, he's a _man_. I bet he never even thought about it."

"Well…thanks…for going to that trouble for me." I said. I felt so embarrassed, but so grateful to Tonks at the same time. I could not imagine what it would have been like to ask Snape if I could go shopping by myself. Snape always had to know everything.

"No problem," she replied airily. "Now, let's go."

We spent an hour in another street near Diagon Alley, buying enough new things so that I wouldn't have to worry about going to Snape about it for a long time. By the time we left the last shop, I was feeling really grateful that Tonks had had the guts to bring it up to Snape. I got the feeling that Tonks liked to annoy him.

"Right, and on we go!" said Tonks finally, as we walked into a deserted alley. "We're going to apparate Armilla, so hold on to me."

I held on tightly and before long we appeared in a street full of big houses. I looked around me, confused. I hadn't been here before.

"I thought we were going to Hogsmeade," I said. "So we could walk back to Hogwarts."

Tonks shook her head. "I'm taking you to the Order's Headquarters. When Severus finishes the Order business he is doing, he is going to return to Headquarters to give a report to other members. We deemed it best that we don't desert you at Hogwarts. Severus will take you there later."

"Oh," I said, feeling a bit disappointed, but curious all the same. I had never been to the Order's Headquarters before. Merle had been there a couple of times, just before she had died.

"Here," said Tonks, handing me a bit of parchment. "Memorise this."

I stared down at it.

_The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix_ _may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London._

"Got it?" Tonks asked quietly.

I nodded and she took the parchment from me. Tonks ignited the parchment with the tip of her wand and a moment later it was completely destroyed. I looked around me, trying to place number twelve. It didn't take long to realise that the house must be hidden.

"Now," she continued, her voice low. "Can you see the parchment in your mind? Yes? Concentrate on it."

A split second later, the houses in front of us seemed to push themselves apart and I saw a shabby looking door appear our of nowhere, closely followed by the rest of the house. It was very dirty and looked as if it hadn't been cared for, or for that matter, lived in for years. I noticed that no one in the neighbourhood had come screaming out of their houses about having just been pushed aside. Magic was a wonderful thing.

We ascended the stone steps leading up to the black front door. The silver doorknocker took my notice straightaway. It was in the shape of a serpent.

"Is this a Slytherin's house?" I asked quietly.

Tonks smiled grimly. "Used to be," she replied. "But the current owner is a Gryffindor."

Oh. Well that was a surprise.

Tonks tapped the door once with her wand and we heard a series of clicks and a rattling chain. A moment later, the door gave a low groan as it opened.

"I should tell you," Tonks whispered, "to keep noise to a minimum once you're in the hall…we don't want to wake up…well, just be really careful."

Wondering what on earth she was talking about, I followed Tonks inside. The house was a bit cleaner inside, but it still carried an air of neglect. The dark hallway was quite long, and a huge chandelier hung overhead. I noted the Slytherin touch on the serpent shaped chandelier.

Tonks held a finger to her lips and we tiptoed down the hall, through a doorway and down some stairs to what I guessed was the basement.

"The kitchen," Tonks whispered, as we descended the last few steps. "I just want to let Molly Weasley know that we're here."

Molly Weasley? I wondered for a moment why Molly Weasley would be expecting us, but then I remembered Merle telling me that the Weasley family had been looking after the headquarters for the Order. I had met Mr and Mrs Weasley once when I was very little at someone's birthday party – a friend of Merle's and the Weasleys.

I heard voices as we approached the door. I followed Tonks into the kitchen, feeling nervous.

Seated at the table was Mrs Weasley, Lupin, and...Sirius Black. I might have been alarmed at the sight of Black, had Merle not told me about his innocence.

Mrs Weasley jumped up when she noticed our presence. Lupin stood up as well. Sirius Black looked around and stared at me, his face impassive.

"It's nice to see you, Armilla, dear," said Mrs Weasley. "I haven't seen you since you were a small child, but how you've grown!"

I smiled. I liked Mrs Weasley. She was such a nice, motherly woman.

"Hello, Armilla," said Lupin, nodding at me.

I nodded back, giving a small smile. It must have been a shock for Lupin to have found out that one of his former students was Snape's sister. I had never known why, but Snape had seemed to loathe Lupin while he was teaching when I was in third year.

"Armilla?" Black repeated quietly, staring from me to Lupin. He suddenly stood up looking furious.

"That's _Armilla_?" he said heatedly, now looking between Lupin and Mrs Weasley. "As in _Snape's _sister?"

"Yes, she _is_," said Tonks in a hard voice. "And before you start judging, Sirius Black, you might do well to remember that you come from a dark family that has produced Death Eaters too."

Black scowled. "I wasn't going to judge her because of _that_," he said, folding his arms.

"Well, you shouldn't judge Armilla because of her _brother_ then," said Lupin firmly. "I taught Armilla, Sirius, and she was one of my best students. I should also mention that she is a _Ravenclaw_."

Black's face softened. "Oh," he said, looking at me curiously. I wondered what he had against my brother. "Well, you could at least have told me that she was coming," he grumbled.

"You're looking a bit peaky, dear," said Mrs Weasley, looking closely at me like Tonks had done before.

"That's what I think," said Tonks. "Looks like she hasn't slept in days."

"How could she?" muttered Black, "knowing who her brother is…"

"Sirius," Lupin said mildly. "For once in your life, close your mouth."

Black glared at him. He picked up a copy of _The Daily Prophet_ and his face disappeared behind it.

"Are you sure you're alright, Mill?" asked Tonks.

"Yes," I said calmly. I actually felt pretty awful. I couldn't tell if it was just my imagination or the pain in my back was really getting worse.

"Are you hungry?" asked Mrs Weasley, "have you had lunch?"

I shook my head. "No, but I'm not hungry."

"Well there's a third bed in the girl's room," she said. "Why don't you go to bed for awhile? You might be hungry a little later."

I nodded. "Thanks Mrs Weasley."

"My pleasure. The children are all upstairs in Harry and Ron's room. I'll tell them not to disturb you."

"I'll show you where Ginny and Hermione's room is," said Tonks, leading me out of the room. As soon as we left, I heard a newspaper rustling as Black put his newspaper back on the table. Tonks reached back and closed the door, muffling the whispers between Black and Lupin.

"What does Black have against Severus?" I asked as we made our way up the stairs.

"Oh," said Tonks, looking a little distracted, "they just have their differences, that's all. They're both happier when they can have as little to do with each other as possible."

That answer didn't really help me at all, but I supposed that Tonks didn't want to start discussing the affairs of other people when it wasn't her place to.

"Here we are," she said, opening a door to a bedroom. It was a long room, with three beds in it. The wallpaper had started to peel and the room seemed a bit dreary, but it was clean nonetheless.

"I'm pretty sure that's the bed that's not used," said Tonks, pointing to a bed near the wardrobe.

"Thanks, Tonks," I said. "I know I've already said thankyou, but I'm so grateful you've been around the last week. It's really meant a lot to me."

"Oh," said Tonks, pulling me into a hug. I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from gasping when Tonks' arm brushed against the wound on my back.

"I think you should get some sleep, Armilla," she said when she had released me.

"Okay," I said, sitting down on the bed. "Are all the Weasleys here?"

"Well, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny are here," she said. "And Arthur is still in hospital, but we're hoping he can come home on the weekend. Hermione Granger is here too, as well as Harry Potter."

"Do Harry and Hermione always spend Christmas with the Weasleys?" I asked.

"I know Harry generally does," said Tonks. "This is Sirius' house. Harry is Sirius' godson, you know."

I nodded. "I know."

"Well, get some rest then," she said, walking to the door. "You might find it easier to sleep now that you're not at your Father's place."

"I hope so."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

As much as I wanted to sleep for hours on end, I couldn't quite manage it. Every time I drifted off, I would roll onto my back in my sleep and the pain would wake me up. It got worse as the hours went by and by the time six-thirty came I had barely gotten any sleep at all.

Finally I just got out of bed, completely resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to get any sleep while I was here. As I was putting my shoes back on, the door opened and Hermione came in.

"Oh," she said, looking relieved to find me awake. "Hi, Armilla. I was just sneaking in to get a book."

"That's okay," I said, watching as she retrieved a book out of her trunk.

"A book for studying or to read for pleasure?" I asked, smiling as her eyes lit up when she viewed the cover. I felt the same way about books, though I didn't memorise them to the extent that she did.

Hermione smiled shyly. "Both really," she said. "My parents gave me money to order anything I wanted from Flourish and Blotts for Christmas. I had a hard time choosing."

"I bet you did," I laughed. "I'd have felt the same way."

"Ron and Harry don't understand my passion for books," she said, rolling her eyes. "Unless it's a book on Quidditch."

"Funny," I said. "Quidditch books are of the few that I won't read. I mean, I like Quidditch and everything, but I draw the line on having to read about it."

"I agree," Hermione replied, sitting down on her bed, seemingly happy to talk to me. I was grateful – I didn't feel comfortable roaming the house by myself looking for Tonks, especially in the house owned by a man who seemed to dislike my brother.

"You know," Hermione said, frowning. "I don't want to be rude…and I know that I don't know you very well, but you look like you don't feel very well at all."

Well. That felt _great_. I wondered how many people were going to tell me that today. So much for applying make up. Maybe I hadn't put enough on.

It wasn't Hermione's fault though; I couldn't be annoyed at her for saying that. From the classes that I had had with her over the years, I knew her to be a genuine, caring sort of person, though very studious. I had always wondered why she was not in Ravenclaw.

"I'm probably just tired still," I said. "I'll feel better when I get back to Hogwarts."

"Mrs Weasley said you had been staying at your father's house for the past week," she said, putting her book down on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, I have. I'm supposed to spend a certain amount of holidays with him."

"Did you have a nice time?"

I shrugged. "It was okay."

"I would have been nervous though," she went on. "I mean, you don't know your father very well, do you?"

I shook my head. "No, I had only met him once before." I smiled at her. "I thought all the Gryffindors would stay at least ten feet away from me when they found out that I was Snape's sister."

Hermione laughed. "Well…" she said, looking down at the bedspread. "It was certainly the big news, wasn't it?"

"I suppose," I said, thinking back to the day in the Great Hall when Malfoy had spread the news about Snape and I.

"So…you're happy, aren't you?" she said, looking worried.

"Happy?" I repeated.

"Well, I mean, before all this happened, wasn't he just…_Professor Snape_ to you as well, Armilla? Wasn't he awful to you all the time as well?"

"Oh yeah," I said. "I remember him mocking me in front of the whole class and saying that I couldn't comprehend the potions instructions. He also asked me if I needed additional lessons in fractions and if I wanted to be the first in his remedial potions class." I paused for a moment. I hadn't thought about those memories in a long time…

"But…things are different now?" Hermione asked. "I don't mean to be nosy…"

"No, that's okay," I said. "I knew people would be curious. He is_ the formidable Head of Slytherin_ after all." I smiled, thinking of the time when Snape had described himself to me using those words.

Hermione laughed. "I suppose he is," she said.

"Everything's fine," I said. "It was a shock for us both and it took some getting used to…I think we're still getting used to it. But I can honestly say that I am happy."

She smiled. "That's the main thing," she said. "You know, I've been trying to tell Ron and Harry that Snape wouldn't be making your life hell, but they're not convinced. Ron thinks that Snape has you down there as his servant, chopping up potions ingredients for him every night."

"Oy! That was a private conversation," said an indignant voice from the doorway. I turned to see Ron, Harry and Ginny coming into the room. Ron and Harry sat down on Ginny's bed, both looking a little wary of me, but Ginny came and sat down next to me on my bed.

"Hi, Armilla," she said brightly. "Have a nice Christmas?"

"I did," I said, returning her smile. "You?"

"Well not _too_ bad," she said.

"I was sorry to hear about your dad," I said. "He's coming home soon?"

"Yeah, hopefully on Saturday."

I continued to talk to both Ginny and Hermione for another five minutes, while the boys just sat there, taking in every word and watching me suspiciously. Ron had seemed genuinely surprised that I had bothered to ask about his dad. I couldn't really blame them for being wary. I'd have probably felt the same way if I had been in their place. I'd have still thought Snape was a greasy git like they did.

Finally, Hermione rolled her eyes again as she turned to the boys. "Are you going to say anything?" she demanded. They both remained silent.

Hermione sighed and turned back to me. "Perhaps they will talk to you Armilla, if you answer Ron's question about spending all your spare time chopping up potions ingredients for Snape."

I smiled. "I'm not his servant," I said, looking at Ron, who had the grace to blush. "The only time I chop up potions ingredients is during Potions. I have never been made to chop ingredients for him for the sake of it."

"But…um…isn't he really…sarcastic and nasty to you?" he asked.

"Sarcasm doesn't bother me much," I said. "And he's not nasty to me at all." I wasn't about to tell them that Snape was simply a _dear_ just to see their faces. Snape wouldn't like that at all – he wanted to maintain his fearsome façade.

"Oh," he said, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"Any more questions?" I said, looking at the boys. "Just because I'm his sister doesn't mean I'll bite your head off. Well, not straightaway."

Harry smiled. "It must have been a huge shock," he said. "We were all pitying you."

"_Were_?" I repeated. "I would have thought that you still do."

Harry shrugged. "Well…"

"I understand," I said. "Trust me, not long ago I was in the same place you were, remember? I was just another Ravenclaw student to him."

Harry nodded. "I guess so. Aren't you uncomfortable with him though?"

"I used to be…not so much anymore."

"You don't mind if we still hate him, do you?" asked Ron.

"Ron!" said Hermione.

"Nah, that's okay," I said. "I wouldn't expect you to suddenly like him just because I'm related to him."

"_See_?" Ron said, looking at Hermione. "Well this settles everything. We can stop trying to imagine what awful things Snape makes Armilla do to punish her for daring to be his sister-"

"- and we can talk to Armilla without feeling guilty about hating Snape," Harry finished.

Hermione pursed her lips, glaring at the two of them.

"Have you eaten?" Ginny asked. "We've had dinner, but Mum left some down there for you in case you were hungry."

"Thanks," I said. "But I'm not hungry." I hadn't eaten a thing that day, but I didn't have an appetite at all. The amount of pain that I was in was enough to subdue any hungriness.

"That's fine," she said. "Though we all have to stay upstairs when the meeting starts."

"The meeting?"

"Yeah, the Order holds meetings every now and then and we know that there's one on tonight. We're never allowed to go anywhere near the kitchen while the meeting's running."

"It's probably not that important," Ron said, stretching. "I heard Sirius saying that not that many people were coming. Too many people are already involved in other things tonight." He nodded towards me. "I suppose Snape's coming though, seeing that you are here."

"What does Sirius have against Snape anyway?" I asked, looking around at them all. They all exchanged dark glances.

"Ah, well," said Ron. "They loathe each other, see? Each detests the ground that the other walks on."

"But why?"

Harry shrugged. "Snape was in the same year as my mum and dad, Sirius and Lupin. Sirius and my dad were best friends, but Snape loathed them and the feeling was mutual. I don't really know a lot about why…I do know that Snape was really into the Dark Arts at school though."

"Yeah," I said, nodding, "I knew that."

"I wouldn't ask him about Harry's dad and Sirius though," said Ron, his eyes wide. "He'd kill you."

"It's the sort of subject that makes the vein in his temple start throbbing," Harry agreed, nodding.

"I won't mention it then," I replied. Well, _there_ was a piece of bitter history I didn't know about…

We continued to talk for another hour, by which time we were certain that the meeting had started downstairs. We had heard the doorbell ring several times. At nine-thirty, the meeting was still going and the boys said goodnight and went back to their room. The girls got changed and got into bed and we talked through the darkness. My head had started to throb at this stage from the lack of food and sleep, but it was nothing compared to my back. Hmph, forget the Order of Merlin for the governess – I was going to nominate my father. He was really Father of the Year.

Sometime after ten o'clock, the door creaked open and I saw the silhouette of Tonks creep into the room.

"No need to tiptoe, Tonks," Ginny yawned. "We're all awake."

"I hope you have been entertaining Armilla tonight," she said as she came to a stop at my bed.

"Course we have," Ginny said, still muffling a yawn. "We're charming, delightful people."

"Mm," said Hermione, sounding half asleep.

"Well, the meeting is over Armilla," said Tonks, "and everyone else has gone home. Severus is waiting downstairs for you."

"Okay," I said, sitting up again. I put my cloak back on and picked up my scarf and gloves. "See you later," I said to Ginny and Hermione.

"Bye," said Ginny.

"See you at school," Hermione yawned.

I followed Tonks out into the dimly lit corridor. For some reason my heart started to thump at the thought of seeing Snape. I had no idea why and it really bothered me.

The entrance hall was a little bit brighter and as I followed Tonks downstairs, I could see the forms of Dumbledore and Snape near the foot of the stairs. They both had their backs to us, conversing in low tones.

Upon hearing our footsteps, they both stopped and turned around, both looking straight past Tonks and right at me instead. I suddenly became very self conscious.

Dumbledore had turned to look at me with a bright smile on his face. Snape, however, was frowning, just like I had expected. He didn't take his eyes off me as I came to stand next to him. I gave him a tiny smile and his face softened slightly.

"See, Severus?" said Dumbledore chuckling. "You owe me a sickle."

Snape looked back at the Headmaster, glaring.

"Well I did tell you, Severus, that no matter how bad a time Armilla had while she was away, she would still smile upon seeing you again."

Snape scoffed as he turned back to me. "Let me have a look at you," he said, taking my arm and pulling me into a brighter part of the hall, under a lantern on the wall. I stayed silent while he studied me in the light. "When was the last time you slept, Armilla?"

"This afternoon."

"Let me rephrase that," he said, narrowing his eyes. "When was the last time you had a full night's sleep?"

"The night before last maybe…or the one before that…"

Snape shook his head. He seemed furious.

"Perhaps you should take her back to Hogwarts, Severus," said Dumbledore softly. "It's after ten o'clock after all."

Snape sighed, but nodded. "Very well. I will see you tomorrow," he said, nodding at Dumbledore. He nodded at Tonks. "Thankyou for collecting Armilla today."

"No problem," she said, grinning.

"Come," said Snape, glancing back at me as he moved towards the door. I said my goodbyes to Dumbledore and Tonks and followed, feeling sicker than before. Snape seemed in a terrible mood.

We went outside and I watched as the house disappeared from view again. Snape didn't say anything until we had moved behind a tall bush, hiding us from the view of the street.

"We're apparating," he said shortly, holding out his hands. I didn't know what was wrong. I had been so happy at the thought of seeing him, but he seemed so distant. My hands shook slightly as I placed them in his hands. If he noticed, he didn't say anything.

A moment later, we were on the border on the apparition zone outside Hogwarts.

"We'll talk inside," Snape said quietly, gesturing for me to follow him. We walked in silence all the way back up to the school. By this stage, my head was banging and my back hurt like hell. It hurt even more than the moment when Father's spell had hit it. It didn't help that we had to walk in silence. It gave my aching head more time to try and work out what was irritating Snape.

We went into the Entrance Hall, and even through my pain, I felt a slight pang of happiness at the thought of being back at Hogwarts. I was home.

We were just about to descend the stairs when we heard a movement behind us.

"_Hem hem_," said a high-pitched girly voice.

Snape pursed his lips and turned around.

Umbridge was standing a few feet away from us, wearing what I supposed she thought was a sweet expression.

"Do you realise what time it is, Professor Snape?" she asked.

"I do," he replied, keeping his tone even.

"You do realise that it is well after curfew for students. It is a bad example to set, to be coming into the castle at this hour with a student."

"Indeed it is," Snape agreed, his black eyes glittering. "However I must point out that Armilla is not standing here as a student at the moment. I have yet to sign her back in as a returning student, therefore she is merely standing here as my sister, who goes to bed when her brother deems it suitable."

Umbridge opened her mouth, and then closed it again. Clearly, she couldn't outsmart Snape and had just realised it.

"Do excuse us, Dolores," said Snape. "For I do believe that Armilla should have been in bed a long time ago. I do not wish to detain her any longer."

Umbridge opened her mouth again, but Snape gestured for me to go down the stairs and we soon left her standing alone in the Entrance Hall.

A minute or so later, we were standing in the sitting room in our quarters in the dungeons.

We took off our travelling cloaks, scarves and gloves in silence.

"Come," Snape said briskly, crossing the room. I followed him down the hallway and into his office/lab. He pointed at the work bench in the middle of the room. "Sit."

Trying to ignore my back pain, I got onto the bench, wondering why we were in here. Snape lit a few more candles that hung overhead with his wand to make the room brighter.

At length, he sat down on a stool near me and just stared at me for awhile. "You look awful," he remarked.

I stared at him. We sat in silence for a moment. "I feel awful," I said finally.

"You're pale and you look exhausted," he said quietly. "I will put that down to fatigue and perhaps hunger. Tell me, have you eaten today?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"No," I answered softly.

"Mm," he said. "Let's see. I also believe you are currently suffering from a charm-induced form of conjunctivitis. What do you think?"

I nodded.

"I suspect a headache that has been bothering you all day?"

Again, I nodded. God, the man was good. I was occluding.

"And finally, I suspect some sort of secret injury that you have told no one about because you acquired it in circumstances that you would prefer not to be made public. Correct?"

"Yes," I whispered. "How did you know?"

"I could tell by the way you were breathing and the way you were walking," he replied. "I do recognise symptoms displayed by someone who has been hexed."

I said nothing.

"Well," he said, standing up. "What shall we do first, Armilla? See how serious this injury is? Give you a headache potion? Cure your eyes? Give you a sleeping potion? Berate you for not eating today?"

I looked away. Thankfully I was still occluding. I felt sure that if I stopped, I would cry like I did the night before.

"No answer then? Perhaps I should add another option to the list of tasks," he said harshly. "How about you stop occluding? You're home."

I shook my head. "I can't stop," I whispered.

Snape stared at me, his face unfathomable. "Well then," he said quietly. "What to heal first?"

"My back," I whispered.

Snape moved closer to me. "Show me," he said, his face still unreadable.

I lifted up the back of my top to reveal whatever it was that Father had created on my lower back.

Snape's expression became severe as he examined it. "Armilla," he said, a moment later. "It's infected. No wonder you're in pain."

"I tried to heal it," I said. "But it wouldn't work."

"I've no doubt. It's a highly complicated hex," he said. "This isn't the work of Coleman. Father did this, didn't he?"

I nodded. I gasped in pain as Snape ran a long finger along the edge of it.

"What did you do to warrant such a hex?" he asked, taking his hand away.

"He thought I was rude to the governess. You know about Coleman then?" I asked, as Snape went to retrieve some potions out of his store cupboard.

"I do," he replied darkly. "But I would like to hear your version of the tale."

"He came to test my duelling skills," I said. "Father told me that if I was good, I would-"

"- be considered a potential Death Eater?" Snape volunteered.

I nodded. "Father didn't want that so he told me to fake everything."

"I see," he said, uncorking a bottle. "And I take it you were quite injured yesterday?"

"Yeah. I managed to heal nearly everything."

"I'm glad to hear it," he said. "Hold still." He took out his wand and pointed it at my back, muttering some sort of charm. I tried not to cringe as I felt the wound open again and Snape reached out and placed a hand on my upper arm so I wouldn't move and spoil his work.

I closed my eyes in pain as I felt the wound open wider. Why was he opening it?

Finally Snape stopped. Offering no explanation, he picked up a potion and poured a few drops of it into the open wound. My back suddenly felt like it was on fire and I would have jumped off the bench if Snape hadn't held me down. He picked up his wand again and started muttering a different charm. Soon afterwards, I felt the wound close again, and the pain dulled, but didn't vanish.

"My, wasn't that pleasant?" Snape remarked dryly, putting the stopper back in the bottle. "It may take a few days for the pain to go away completely, but rest assured that it will."

"Why did you open it again?" I asked, letting out my breath.

"Father created a type of hex that lingers inside the skin, and will remain there after you heal the surface," he explained as he put the potion away. "I had to open the wound again and cancel out the curse that was lingering there under the skin. Don't you have a_ lovely_ Father?"

"The best," I muttered.

"Put your head back," he said as he opened another bottle. Complying, I allowed him to pour drops of a smelly potion into my eyes to heal the conjunctivitis. "Here," he said, thrusting a tissue into my lap to stop my eyes from streaming from the potion.

"You know," he said. "It's lucky you can take such a combination of potions without them cancelling out the effects. Here, last two, which I'm sure you'll recognise."

I recognised them at once. There was a light green one for my headache, and a milky blue one for…nutrition…or not eating. I knew I was in trouble for that.

"Right," Snape said, taking the glasses from me. "Feel better?"

"Yes. Thankyou." Except for the dull ache in my back and being tired, I really did feel better. "Are you going to tell me about Coleman…or what happened?"

Snape shook his head. "No, things aren't clear to me at the moment and I don't want to fill your head with vague ideas."

"But-" That wasn't fair. I had been waiting all day to find out what went on.

"No, Armilla!" he snapped. "Do not argue with me. If I say no, I mean it and you will not push the subject further."

I tried not to look resentful as I looked back at him. I failed.

"Don't look at me like that," he said harshly. "Leave the subject alone. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"And I know you can stop occluding, so you had better stop at once. You have been occluding for nearly a week and I will not permit you to do so any longer. You will burn yourself out." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Have you stopped?"

I took the entire mental guard down, as much as I didn't want to. As soon as I did, emotions came flooding into the front of my mind and it was all I could do to keep them at bay. "Yes, I stopped," I answered quietly.

"Good. Now why didn't you eat today?" he asked, standing back and folding his arms.

"I slept past breakfast, so Father decided I was too rude to eat at all. I wasn't feeling well the rest of the day and I didn't want any food," I said honestly.

Snape sighed. "Too rude to eat? That's a new one. From tomorrow you will start a proper diet again, where _no_ meals will be missed or left uneaten. Understood?"

"Yes," I said shakily, trying to keep the emotions away.

"You can get down then," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder as a sign to make me move away. I winced at the touch. Something hurt under there.

"On second thoughts," he said in a hard voice, pushing me back as I made to hop down. "Why did you just flinch? What's there?"

I moved my top to reveal a dark bruise which had formed on my shoulder. I hadn't knocked that part of my shoulder all day and had completely forgotten that bruise was there.

"Hmm, just a bruise," said Snape, looking at me pointedly. "And not the result of magical activity I might add."

I said nothing.

"Ah, so secretive," he sneered. "Are you going to tell me the truth or some imaginative tale like the time you cut your hand in the Secret Wing when you went exploring, and told me you cut it on a protruding tile in the bathroom?"

"I didn't think you believed that," I muttered.

"Of course I didn't," he scoffed. "But I _did_ plan on finding proof where you cut it and giving you detention." He narrowed his eyes at me. "But then, things took a little turn."

I stared back at him, feeling guilty. "If I tell you what happened, you'll only get angry at me."

Snape glared at me. "Well, you've got a higher chance of a more fearsome wrath if you _don't_."

"Rougier hit me with her wand," I said quietly.

"I beg your pardon?" he said in a hard voice.

"She hit me-"

"- I heard you. Explain what happened," he snapped. "Oh wait," he said, narrowing his eyes. "I take it this bruise has something to do with the injury I just healed on your back? You said that you had been rude to the governess and then conveniently changed the subject. Don't tell me that this infection may have been unnecessary, Armilla."

I swallowed, trying to keep the tears away.

"_Well_?" he demanded angrily.

Slowly, I nodded, wishing that I could be out of his sight.

"You were rude to Rougier, and then she went to Father I take it, who then took it upon himself to punish you in a more _creative_ way?" Snape looked livid.

Again, I nodded slowly, biting my lip.

"This happened last night?"

"Yes," I whispered.

Snape glared at me. "_What_ did you say to her, Armilla?"

I couldn't answer. He'd kill me.

"Armilla!" he snapped, moving closer to me. "Answer me at once! What did you say?"

"I called her a painted old hag!" I shrieked, tears pouring down my face. "And she deserved it too! She _is_ a painted old hag!"

Snape stepped back, staring at me.

"I know I shouldn't have!" I yelled. "I had held off for so long. I snapped! I know I shouldn't have,' I sobbed. I know I deserved that hex! I know I asked for it! I know-"

My ranting was cut short as Snape slowly moved forward and pulled me into his arms. He held me tightly and I continued to sob with my head against his shoulder.

"I know you know many things," he said quietly, pushing my hair out of my face, "but indeed you are mistaken. You did _not_ deserve such a hex and you will find yourself gutting toads if I ever hear you say so again."

I sniffed and Snape held me tighter.

"You shouldn't have snapped," he went on, speaking softly. "We both know it. You must never snap, Armilla. That is an important lesson. That is why I am angry."

He sighed. "But that aside," he said, "you have done very well over the past week and I think you know that."

I didn't answer. I merely tried to stifle my sobs.

"We will say no more about it then," he said. "What do you think?"

"I won't snap again," I said softly. "I promise."

"We are in dangerous times, Armilla," he continued, "you can't afford to snap when a governess has a go at you. That's why I trained you in Occlumency."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I shouldn't have, I know-"

"Yes, we've established what you know," he said.

We were both silent for a moment, before Snape spoke again.

"You have no idea how much I feared for you while you were gone, Armilla."

"I didn't think you were happy to see me back at all."

"I wasn't happy to see you in such a state," he answered softly. "It _angered_ me that you were in such a state…and I couldn't have prevented it. It's no joy to stand on the sidelines and watch you get abused by our father."

"All I wanted to do was come back here."

"Believe me, I wanted to bring you back after talking to you every night."

"I didn't want to come back just because he was hexing me."

"No?"

"No…if he wasn't hexing me I'd still want to be _here_."

"…I'm glad to hear it. I couldn't say that it was quiet around here without you," he said, resting a hand on my head, "because it's always quiet even when you _are_ here."

I smiled through my tears. "I'm sure Morag will make up for that."

"Indeed. She has already given me a preview, I assure you."

"For what it's worth," I said, reaching a hand up to wipe my eyes, "I missed you."

Snape caught my hand in his before I lowered it and squeezed it.

"I missed you too," he whispered.


	47. Something in my Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 46

I slept undisturbed on Monday night. Snape had given me a Dreamless Sleep Potion when I had gone to bed and so I was able to sleep peacefully without being reminded of the now dull pain that resided in my back. I vaguely remembered Snape standing over me as the potion had taken hold. I had welcomed the darkness that surrounded me as much as I welcomed the happiness in my heart that I was home.

On Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling a bit groggy. I had a cold, a sore throat and a headache, and I still felt tired. That was just my luck. If I had to get sick, it had to be when I was home, finally free to do what I wanted again…though I wondered if sickness would have gotten me out of memorising books at Snape Manor.

I groaned and rolled over, feeling the dull ache in my back remind me of its presence. I looked at the clock. 8:27 am. I was surprised that Snape hadn't come in to wake me yet – he generally did when I slept past seven thirty. I didn't understand his need to get up so early. Maybe he felt that this time I deserved to sleep in. I fell back into a doze, having to come out of it several times to sneeze or blow my nose.

A sudden flutter of wings followed by incessant hooting finally roused me from my sleep. I sat up rubbing my eyes as two owls came soaring into the room and landed on my bed, each trying to nudge the other out of the way in order to get to me first. Morag hooted from her place on top of the armoire, clearly excited at having guests.

Snape strode in a few seconds later, looking a bit disgruntled.

"It sounds as if you've opened an owlery in here," he said, glaring at the owls on my bed, both of which seemed to be lobbying for my attention. Morag continued to hoot, as if wanting to remind me that she was there, and not to forget that I liked her above the others.

"So the owls know the entrance to these rooms then?" I asked, my voice sounding dry and husky. I leaned forward and untied the envelope from the leg of one of the owls. It hooted in excitement at being chosen first and the other abruptly stopped hooting altogether.

Snape narrowed his eyes as he moved over to the bed. "Yes, they know it," he answered, as he sat down on the bed next to me.

He watched as I untied the other envelope. The owls then went to join Morag for some water. Morag continued to hop about and hoot in her excitement. Snape had opened his mouth to say something, but Morag and the other owls were making such a racket that he would have had to raise his voice to be heard.

"Do cease that infernal racket!" he snapped at the owls. The two guests immediately stopped their noise, and hopped around in an intimidated manner to peer at Snape. Morag, however, seemed to decide that no amount of snapping would deter _her_ from making noise if she wished. She looked directly at Snape and continued to hoot, albeit quieter than before.

Snape glared at her, his lips pursed. "You _are_ a daring one, aren't you?" he said coldly. Morag hooted in reply and flapped her wings. She grew to her fullest form and went jet black. She stretched out her suddenly long sharp claws for Snape to see.

"Is _that_ all you've got to offer?" he said sarcastically.

Morag hooted indignantly and her claws grew even more, becoming so long that they curled at the edges. She began to hoot again, as if Snape's mere presence was egging her on.

"Poor," said Snape dryly, "bordering on dreadful."

It seemed to me that in my absence, Snape and Morag had developed a hostile relationship. I wondered exactly how much noise she made at night when I wasn't there with her.

Morag decided to change tactics at that moment. She opened her beak and let out an almighty high-pitched hoot. It was enough to make me want to cover my ears.

Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it at her threateningly. She ceased at once and I wondered if that was due to experience. He continued to point it at her for a few seconds, wearing a look of the utmost contempt. Finally, Morag was the first to look away and she hopped over to her water and made no more noise.

Snape pocketed his wand again, still glaring at the owl, who had now resumed her usual small snowy form. "I will _not_ be defeated by an _owl_," he said maliciously, apparently to no one in particular.

"Have you used magic on her before?" I asked, ignoring the dryness of my voice.

"_No_," he replied, looking at me closely. "But it's certainly a good threat."

"She hasn't been making too much noise, has she?"

Snape gave me a grim smile. "Just a _little_," he said, sneering. "Enough to make us resent each other's presence at any rate."

"_Oh,_" I said dolefully. I hoped he wasn't about to say that Morag would have to go and live in the owlery.

"Don't fret," he said, waving a hand aside, "I will view her as a challenge. She just needs taming."

"It seems like she doesn't _want_ to be tamed," I pointed out.

Snape gave me a self-satisfied look. "Her _desires_ are not to be considered. If she wants to remain here, she will be tamed." Snape turned and looked back at Morag. "Did you hear that Morag? Tamed!" Morag blinked at him, but didn't hoot. Snape turned back to me, shaking his head.

"I think you'll be good friends before long," I said, looking at the letters in my hand.

"Mm. She'll rue the day she decided to cross _me_," he said. He reached forward to feel my forehead. "What luck you have," he said, leaning back. "You've got a fever. Well that's an excuse for you to stay in bed today."

"But I want to get out of bed," I said indignantly.

"Dear me, that's a shame," he said sardonically, his black eyes glittering. "You're staying there though." He got up and walked to the door.

"But I'm not _that_ sick," I said. It didn't help that I sneezed as soon as I finished that sentence.

Snape sneered. "Indeed. Forgive me if I do not trust your judgement. I do believe that the last time you were unwell, I said that in future all your health decisions would be left to _me_." He folded his arms and glared at me. "That said, you're staying in bed today."

Before I could reply, he swept from the room leaving me alone with the owls and my letters. If I had felt much better, I would have been annoyed with the man for telling me to stay where I was. In truth, if I did get of bed, I wouldn't feel like doing much anyway. And besides, Snape was easier to get along with when I let him be right. He _loved_ to be right.

I knew the letters were from my friends because I recognised the handwriting on each right away.

_Dear Mill,_

_Hello from Copenhagen! My family and I have been here in Denmark_ _for five days and we're all having a great time. (I've picked you up some great presents.) I had a pretty good Christmas – got everything I wanted. Thanks for your present – the bag is beautiful and it goes perfectly with my dress robes. Speaking of dress robes, I bet you looked nice in your new ones the other night. You'll have to tell me all about it when I see you again._

_Did you have a nice Christmas? Did you get anything nice? I'm dying to talk to you about how everything turned out._

_I'll be back at Hogwarts on Sunday, just in time for school on Monday. Are you back at Hogwarts now or the Merrigan Estate? Wherever you are, I hope you have a lovely week. I miss you heaps._

_Love, Lisa_

_Dear Milly,_

Terry always referred to me as _Milly_ when he wrote because it was the only time he could get away without me hitting him.

_Greetings! I hope you woke this morning to the sound of a mooing alarm clock – I thought it was such a laugh when I found it. I hope Professor Snape lets you use it. Thanks for the book – it was the only one in the series that I didn't have._

_How was your Christmas? Where did you go and what did you do? Oh yeah, and what did you get? (I do have many questions, but I'll save the rest until I see you next)._

_I had a spiffing Christmas. I got an excellent racing broom and I can guarantee that I'll beat you any time now…just name the day and I'll leave you behind at the starting line! Hmm, I had better finish this letter before my head gets too big and pops._

_Lisa and I were thinking of you a lot over the past week. Just assure us again that you're happy and we'll be content._

_I'll see you either on Saturday night or Sunday morning._

_Terry_

Closing their letters, I smiled down at them sadly. I missed them both so much. They were still worried that I wasn't happy with Snape though. But then, they didn't know him as I did. They only knew him as the cruel, cold, sarcastic, but skilled Potions Professor and Head of Slytherin. I supposed they had a right to worry when that was the only side they saw.

"Your friends have wasted no time in writing, have they?" said Snape, coming back into the room, carrying a couple of potions as well as my breakfast.

"They've been waiting for me to come back here before they wrote," I said, putting the letters aside.

"How thoughtful," he replied dryly, handing me the tray with my breakfast. "Eat. _All_ of it."

As I ate, Snape used magic to clean Morag's cage for me. I was grateful, but Morag watched him suspiciously the whole time. When he finished, she hooted at him softly.

"I didn't do it for _you_," he scoffed.

I refrained from rolling my eyes. I wondered if her snowy form caused him irritation because it reminded him of Harry's owl.

As I finished my breakfast, Snape uncorked two potions, one of which I recognised as Pepper-Up potion.

"Thanks," I said, taking the first potions from him. I grimaced at the taste, hoping the next one wouldn't be as bad. It wasn't, but the aftertaste wasn't the best.

"If I feel better later, can I get up?" I asked hopefully, knowing perfectly well what the answer would be.

"No, you may _not_," he said smoothly, pulling my covers back up. "Except for bathroom use, you're staying right there until further notice."

"I'll be _bored_," I grumbled.

"No you won't," he replied, "you have plenty of _sleeping_ to do."

"I slept the whole night though," I pointed out. "I only have a cold."

Snape shook his head. "Not just a cold, but exhaustion, stress and a small case of malnutrition. Enough to warrant a full day in bed, if not more."

"But-"

Snape held up a hand. "I thought you would have learnt from experience that I do not accept _buts_."

"I do know," I said quietly, "I wanted to try anyway."

"Oh, I feel for you," he said, smirking. "But I know what will make you feel better."

I looked up at him suspiciously. "What's that?"

"Perhaps when you're feeling better, you can show me your superior pureblood walk." He had a small smile on his face.

"No way," I said firmly.

He raised an eyebrow. "_No_? Are you _serious_? I was looking forward to it."

"Definitely no," I said again. "I never quite mastered it anyway."

"Surely _not_?" he mocked. "No? Well, that's a shame. I was looking forward to some amusement."

"Amusement?" I repeated. "But there are plenty of Slytherin girls who already walk like that. You must have seen them."

Snape looked thoughtful as he sat down on the bed next to me again. "Yes, but many of them are already snooty," he said, "and don't repeat that," he added harshly as an afterthought.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said. "I don't need too. Slytherin girls are already known for being snooty."

"As opposed to Ravenclaw girls being bookish?" he quipped.

"It's far better to be bookish than snooty," I said airily.

"A valid point indeed."

"Father told me that he wanted me to go to Beauxbatons, but you wouldn't let him," I said. "You didn't tell me that."

"I didn't think it important," he said, looking surprised. "There was never any question of you changing schools, regardless of what Father felt about it."

"I'm glad I didn't have to," I said, playing with the hem of my sheets.

"So am I," Snape said, narrowing his eyes. "You would have cost me a fortune if you went there. The students at Beauxbatons are nothing to the Slytherin girls. I heard a rumour that that school actually has a beauty parlour within its grounds."

"I would have cost you nothing," I said. "I wouldn't have gone to the beauty parlour."

Snape sneered. "Mm, well, it might just be a school rule, you know. Not all those girls have Veela blood. Speaking of beauty though, forgive me for not having asked after the welfare of your _dear_ nails." He smirked. "Are they in good health?"

"Very well, thankyou," I smiled, holding them out for him to see. "I'll have to write and tell Rougier that you remembered to ask."

Snape flexed his fingers. "I would _dearly_ love to meet that woman," he said darkly.

"I think Tonks found her amusing," I said.

"She would," Snape muttered. "Speaking of Nymphadora, did Father or Rougier go with you to meet Tonks yesterday?"

"Rougier," I answered. "I'm not sure if I prefer her to Father."

"Rougier's probably easier to squash," he said, rationally. "Tonks took you straight to Grimmauld Place?"

"No," I answered, hoping I wouldn't blush. "We went shopping."

"What f-" Snape paused mid-sentence. "No," he said, shaking his head. "Never mind." There was an embarrassed silence.

"I hadn't been to Grimmauld Place before," I said, watching him closely.

Snape scowled, though not at me. "It is my wish that any time you spend there will be limited." He looked closely at me. "So who did you see there?"

"Mrs Weasley, Professor Lupin-"

"Not _professor_ anymore," Snape muttered. "Go on."

"Sirius Black."

Snape positively glowered at the name. "There's an acquaintance that you could do without," he said. "Did you actually meet him?"

"Sort of," I said. "Not properly. He got a shock when he found out who I was."

"I bet he did."

"Lupin and Mrs Weasley were nicer, but Black acted a bit strange."

"He _is_ strange," Snape murmured. "Not right in the head. Never has been."

"He seemed more acquiescent when Lupin told him I was in Ravenclaw."

"Well Black hates anything associated with Slytherin," he said, glaring at the wall.

"But his house has serpents everywhere," I said.

"Black comes from a family of Slytherins," he explained, turning back to me. "His younger brother, Regulus, was a Slytherin."

"Where is he?"

"Dead," Snape replied shortly.

"Oh," I said quietly as Snape turned to glare at the wall again.

We stayed silent for several moments. "Why don't you like each other?" I said softly.

Snape didn't answer at first. Initially, I thought he wasn't going to answer, but at length, he turned back to me.

"There's nothing _to _like about him," he said in a hard tone. "We have our differences, Armilla, and our history extends over many, many years. It is not worth delving into and I would prefer not to." He gave me a significant look which I knew meant that his word was final. I nodded.

"You must have come into contact with a few more _Gryffindors_," Snape said, raising an eyebrow.

"I did," I replied. "Hermione, Ginny, Harry and Ron…I didn't see the twins though."

"No great loss, I assure you," Snape sneered. "Did you talk to them much?" He was watching me closely.

I shrugged. "Hermione came in late in the afternoon and I talked to her for awhile. The other three came in together later on." I was trying to refrain from mentioning Harry's name again. Snape's expression had darkened as soon as I had said _Harry_. It must have pained him to hear me use his first name.

"So they talked to you properly, though they're fully aware that you're _my_ sister?"

"Yeah," I said. "They seemed okay with it after awhile."

"After awhile?" Snape sneered.

"You couldn't expect the Gryffindors to accept it so readily," I said. "I expected them to be wondering whose league I'm in."

"Whose _league_?" Snape repeated, frowning slightly.

"Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff's league, or Slytherin's."

Snape scoffed derisively. "I hope you put their _worries_ at ease then."

I shrugged again. "They're okay."

Snape looked sternly at me. "I do hope you're not friendly with them," he said in a hard tone. "Especially _Potter_," he practically spat the name. "Father would do more than curse you if he found out."

"What about _you_?" I asked. I thought Snape would kill me first if I was a friend of Harry's.

Snape stared at me. "Potter is-" he began, looking agitated. He shook his head. "I understand that you need to maintain relations with students from your own…_league_," he sneered. "But I would prefer it if your contact with Potter was kept to a minimum."

"Is he such a bad person?" I asked. I had never understood the animosity that had existed between the two since Harry's first year.

Snape considered me for a moment, as if weighing up something in his mind. "_Potter_," he said finally, still sneering slightly, "has many things to learn in order to improve his character. He is disrespectful, reckless, arrogant, and has an undue fetish for playing the hero."

I considered this. Snape hadn't really answered my question and I felt that he didn't want to. I decided not to push the subject any further.

"Enough information?" he said, standing up.

I nodded, sneezing again.

Snape conjured an armchair next to the bed and sat in it, accioing a bunch of parchments, a quill and ink from the sitting room.

"I have lesson planning to do," he said, unscrewing the lid off a bottle of ink. "And you need to sleep. Am I to assume that if I stay here with you, you will oblige me and sleep?" He looked at me, his face unfathomable.

I nodded, lying down again. So he was going to stay while I slept. He didn't have to, of course. But something in my heart told me that I was glad he was.


	48. Trapped

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 47

Snape made me stay in bed for another two days to get over my cold and everything else that had caused illness according to him. Snape had spent a lot of his time sitting in my room to keep me company, either working or talking to me. I had not been happy one bit to be made to stay in bed all day and I thought Snape only let me finally get up on Friday because my peevishness was starting to override my cold.

"But don't even _think_ about going outside," he said sternly, as I climbed out of bed, having just finished my breakfast. "You have to be well enough to go to classes on Monday and I don't want you outside in the snow until your cold is gone."

"It's pretty much gone," I replied. "And I've got no reason to go outside anyway. I just don't want to stay in bed any longer."

"Yes, I believe you've told me that countless times," Snape scoffed, rolling his eyes as he moved towards the door. "Get dressed. The Headmaster is out this morning, so I'll take you up to his office to see Mother. And _then_," he went on, his black eyes glittering, "you will come back here and rest. No wandering about the castle."

"I'm an expert at resting," I muttered.

"Indeed," he said, smirking. "And also an expert at crabbiness I might add."

I fought the urge to glare at the man and say that crabbiness was a genetic trait. I knew that Snape had started to get impatient with my irritability at staying in bed. If I glared at him, he might have told me to get back in.

"If your mood picks up," he continued, standing against the doorframe with his arms folded, "I might consider taking you out with me tomorrow…if I decide you are well enough of course."

"Where to?" I asked, doing my best to remove any grumpiness from my voice.

"I seem to remember promising someone that I would buy her new books," he said mysteriously, as if wondering who that person could be.

I smiled shyly. So he had. One new book for every one I had memorised at Father's house.

"I believe the total number of books you memorised came to five," he said. "Is that correct?"

I nodded.

"Well then, let us hope that I see no more grouchiness from you," he said, narrowing his eyes, "or I may decide to add some potions texts to your reading list that have to be read first."

"No, don't do that," I said, alarmed. I wouldn't have put it past Snape to do that.

Snape frowned. "Don't look so distressed, Armilla," he said. "Potions are _fascinating_."

I smiled, but I certainly didn't agree.

Snape's lip curled, though I knew he was only pretending to be offended. "You could at least _try_ to enjoy them."

"Alright," I said. "I'll try."

Snape smirked. "Excellent. I have to replenish the hospital wing stock this afternoon. You can assist me."

"I walked _right_ into that," I muttered.

"Indeed you did, how fortunate for _me_," he replied, looking most amused.

"I thought I was supposed to be _resting_ this afternoon," I pointed out. The last thing I felt like was gutting dead creatures.

"You will be," Snape answered, raising an eyebrow. "I'll give you the easy things to do."

"Gutting toads doesn't fall under easy, does it?" I asked warily.

Snape gave a small smile. "That depends on how mean I'll feel this afternoon."

o o o o o o o o o

"Now," said Snape, as I joined him in the sitting room, "we have to be extremely cautious in regards to what information we divulge to Mother. I did inform her that you spent a few days alone with Father, but I was able to keep her from hysterics by informing her that you and I communicated daily."

"So what am I supposed to tell her if she asks?" I said, frowning. The delight I had felt at the thought of seeing my mother quickly faded away with prospect of discussing my week away with her.

"_If_?" Snape repeated. "She _will_ ask, Armilla. She's barely on speaking terms with _me_ at the moment because I didn't find a way to keep you from spending time with Father." He folded his arms, scowling slightly, though I knew it wasn't intended for me. "So when she _does_ ask, keep all detail to a minimum. You don't have to say you liked it there, as she will see straight through that. Just keep occluding and remain indifferent about it. Don't mention Father hurting you. I told her about you memorising books and having a governess, so you can talk to her about that."

I nodded. "Why don't you want her to know things?"

Snape's face darkened. "Because I don't think it is necessary to burden her with such details, especially considering that she is in a position that does not allow her to help you." He paused, pursing his lips. "I know the position of being helpless in regards to all this, Armilla, and believe me, I do _not_ wish it upon our mother."

"Won't she guess that we're hiding more details?"

"She might," Snape said, looking indifferent, "but all the same you and I will do the utmost to be convincing."

I nodded.

Snape stepped closer to me. "The sooner Mother can put her mind at ease about this, Armilla, the sooner she can leave the ring for good and properly join the afterlife," he said quietly. "At the moment she is neither alive nor properly deceased, but it is inevitable that she will leave that ring."

I said nothing. It was selfish of me to want Mother to stay in that ring forever. I wanted her around to talk to, even if she was not really alive. I knew that I only talked to her spirit, but it was a comfort to know her all the same. But deep down, I knew that Mother would only be around as long as Father was causing upset in the family, particularly in relation to my guardianship. As soon as things calmed down, and Mother was happy with the situation, she would go. When she was satisfied that I was well looked after, I would lose her forever.

"I don't think it will be for some time yet," said Snape softly, watching me closely. "Mother is far from accepting this situation."

I nodded. I knew the time had to come, and I couldn't be selfish about it when it did.

"It isn't fair for her to be trapped in the world of the living forever," he went on, moving closer.

"I know," I said quietly, looking at the floor.

"She sacrificed herself so that you could go on living," he said. "And she knew herself that she would only remain in that ring until she could be satisfied with your wellbeing."

"I feel selfish," I said. "I know it isn't fair for her to stay, but I wish she could."

"I know you do," he said softly, putting on his cloak. "It is not selfishness, merely a desire to know your mother."

Well at least he knew how I felt.

"At the very least, it is fortunate that you have been able to know your mother in a spirit form," he went on, opening the door. "Many others have been denied such a privilege. Come."

o o o o o o o o o o o

"Armilla!" Mother's smile told me that she was all too delighted to see me. "Now, tell me, how was your Christmas?"

"Wonderful," I said honestly.

"I'm glad to hear it." Mother looked at Snape, who was standing to my left. "Severus," she said coolly.

"Mother," he said quietly, inclining his head.

"I suppose I shall have to forgive you," she said, looking up at Snape. "Armilla looks quite well."

"She is getting over a cold, but it is so _good _of you to forgive me all the same," he replied coldly. "As you know, I do all I can to make her existence in this world a _happy_ one, Mother."

I looked between the two of them, wondering how many times they had argued over me in the past week. They looked so much alike as they glowered at each other, each obstinate and determined to come off righteous in this situation.

"I heard you had a supercilious governess," Mother said, a twinkle in her eye as she turned back to me. "I hope you showed her that Merrigan women are refined and elegant and without need of training."

"I suppose…" I said, smiling. Though I shouldn't have, I had enjoyed getting the better of Rougier.

"Was she as arrogant and high and mighty as Severus described to me?" Mother asked, also smiling.

"She was arrogant," I said. "But I don't think she had enough intelligence to be as high and mighty as she would have liked."

"Actually," said Snape, folding his arms. "Armilla called her a _painted old hag_ to her face, Mother."

I turned to glare at Snape. He merely looked back at me as if to say "what?"

Mother's eyes widened. "Did you really? I bet she was cross."

I shrugged. "She got over it."

Mother laughed. "Well then, I bet _Severus_ was cross."

"He _was_," I replied smoothly. Now it was Snape's turn to glare at me, but I returned the "what?" look.

"I hope you weren't too hard on her, Severus," said Mother, still smiling.

Snape scoffed. "I am _never_ hard on her."

Mother laughed. "Of course not, dear."

Snape narrowed his eyes at her, his lip curling. I supposed it was Mother's right to call her son 'dear' and get away with it, no matter how much Snape disliked it.

"Now tell me about your father," said Mother, turning back to me. "He treated you properly? Severus says he made you memorise books on pureblood society and etiquette."

"He did," I answered. "It was okay. He was happy with the amount of information I memorised, so there weren't any problems."

Mother looked relieved. "I'm so glad to hear it. Did he spend much time with you?"

"Not a lot," I said honestly. "Just a few meals here and there. I spent most of my time with the governess or reading books."

"And you stayed at Snape Manor for the duration of the visit? Aurelius didn't take you visiting with him?"

"No," I replied. "He did go visiting, but he didn't take me. I went out once with Madame Rougier, but that was all."

"You went out with the _governess_? Whatever for?" Mother looked most displeased.

"To get her _nails_ done," Snape scoffed, before I could answer. "Apparently I've been neglecting them. I'm thinking of forwarding an official declaration of guilt to that damn woman."

"Don't say _damn_, Severus," Mother said, looking stern.

Snape glowered at her. "I have a more colourful range of words I'd rather use to describe the woman, Mother, but I fear they'd be offensive to your ears."

Mother fixed him with a harsh expression. "Don't talk like that, Severus. Your sister is at a very impressionable age."

Snape raised an eyebrow, looking mildly amused. "That's why I was refraining from using them."

Mother snorted, turning back to me. "So your father was not too cruel to you? Promise me that he treated you properly."

"I was _fine_," I insisted.

"Put it this way, Mother," Snape said, looking impatient, "There was nothing Father threw at Armilla that she couldn't handle. I hope you have noted that she is currently standing in front of you in one piece?"

"Don't be impertinent, Severus," Mother snapped. "I was worried about her."

"As was _I_," Snape retorted, "but she is fine, and we shall leave it at that."

"As you wish," said Mother, eyeing her son with an expression of suppressed fury. "Armilla," she said, turning back to me. "Have you bought your brother's birthday present yet?"

"Uh…no, not yet," I answered. Oh God, I had forgotten about that.

"Don't put pressure on her, Mother," Snape snapped. "She doesn't have to buy me anything."

"You're only thirty-six once, Severus," said Mother, seeming to forget her anger at her son.

"What an insightful statement," Snape drawled, looking bored.

"Would you rather discuss your marital status?"

"No, I would _not_," he snapped.

"I do not believe that You Know Who will win this war, Severus. If it's a matter of endangering family-"

"It is _not_," Snape interrupted, glowering at his Mother. "Didn't I just say that I _didn't_ want to discuss it?"

"But don't you want to hold your own baby one day, Severus?"

Snape blinked, looking aghast. "My own _baby_?"

"Certainly," said Mother, smiling. "There's nothing like it. The first time I held you-"

"-this conversation will not end _well_, Mother," he interrupted. "I suggest you stop now."

"But don't you want a wife to love and grow old with?" Mother seemed very persistent. I thought she must have spent a lot of time thinking about this. Maybe she wanted to convince Snape that marriage wasn't all bad before she left the ring.

"_No_," he answered, looking appalled. "I would have thought that _you_ of all people would know that marriage is not suited to everyone."

Mother glared up at Snape. "I was _happy_ to marry, Severus. I just married the wrong person obviously."

Snape folded his arms. "Obviously."

"But I had two children, Severus. Don't you want children?"

Snape's lip curled. "No, I have _never_ wanted children, Mother."

"Well, that's a nice thing to say in front of your sister!" Mother exclaimed.

Snape cast me a fleeting look before glaring at his mother again. "Armilla's not a five year old child, Mother. I didn't raise her. I never said I didn't want _Armilla_."

"And what if you had found out about Armilla when she was a small child, Severus?" she said indignantly. "Would you have raised her then?"

"That's neither here nor there," Snape snapped. "This whole conversation is completely irrelevant. I have told you before that I will _not_ marry and I will _not_ have children. That's how it is and I'm _not_ changing my mind." He shook his head in exasperation.

"_Fine_," said Mother, eyeing him coolly. "I will say no more about it, Severus-"

"Yes, I'd appreciate that," he answered, looking moody.

"Well, back to Severus' birthday then," said Mother, as if she was running a business meeting.

"No, not back to my birthday," said Snape. "Having it pass unnoticed is my greatest wish."

Mother shook her head and turned to me.

"Do you agree with that, Armilla?"

I looked between the two of them. Neither would appreciate me being impartial, and I did have an opinion. "If that's what he wants, then yes," I said finally.

Mother opened her mouth in surprise, and then closed it again. Snape looked over at me, his mouth twitching slightly as if trying hard not to smile. I found it just as hard not to smile back.

"Well, I suppose I am overruled," Mother said huffily. "Just treat it like any other day then."

"_That_ would be nice," said Snape, in a tone of forced politeness.

"So you're not getting your brother a gift then?" Mother demanded, now glaring at me.

"Of course I will," I replied. "Once I work out what to get…"

"He's hard to buy for, you know," said Mother, rolling her eyes. "I once bought him a racing broom and he-"

"-It doesn't matter what I did," Snape interrupted, looking furious.

Mother stared up at him, looking thoughtful. "Why don't you get him something amusing, Armilla? Something trivial, but funny?"

Snape folded his arms. "Well, _that_ would be money well spent," he said disdainfully.

Mother smiled at him, before turning back to me. "Don't your friends ever buy you trivial gifts just for a laugh?"

"Yes, she was given a _mooing_ alarm clock by Terry Boot for Christmas," Snape said, sneering.

Mother chortled in delight. "What fun! Why don't you give your brother something to make him laugh for his birthday, Armilla? Lord knows he _rarely_ laughs."

"I don't think he'd _like_ a mooing alarm clock," I said thoughtfully, feeling a bit uncomfortable now.

"Indeed I _wouldn't_," Snape replied, shaking his head.

"I think Armilla would be able to find you something that would make you smile at least, Severus," said Mother playfully. "I bet she can."

"Oh you _do_, do you?" he said, narrowing his eyes. He turned to me, sneering slightly. 'Well, if you're up to it, why don't you oblige your dear mother and accept the challenge?"

I would have said no right away, but the image of the front cover of a book I had flicked through a few years back suddenly flashed before my eyes. _Something that would make Snape smile_. I had the perfect gift. But I would have to order it by owl post, because I couldn't buy it while Snape was around.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging indifferently, "I'm up to it."

Snape eyed me suspiciously, but as I was occluding, it was a bit hard for him to know what I was thinking unless he charged his way in.

"Excellent!" said Mother happily.

Snape scowled in reply.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

That afternoon, I joined Snape in his main office where he already had a few potions brewing. We sat together at a workbench and I watched as Snape summoned a large number of ingredients towards us.

"Restful work," he said dryly, gesturing some of the ingredients in front of me. "And I've made it interesting for you. Those ginger roots are to be chopped up…you can pretend the roots are Rougier. The scarab beetles need to be ground…you can pretend they are Rougier. The Boomslang skin needs to be shredded…"

"I can pretend the Boomslang skin is Rougier?" I said, smiling.

"I see we have an understanding then," he said, his dark eyes glittering as he swept over to his numerous cauldrons to check on the progress of various potions.

Snape was right (_as usual_). Preparing potions ingredients for him didn't seem like work at all, especially because I wasn't surrounded by other students. In fact, it _was _restful, even if I enjoyed myself by pretending that the ingredients were Rougier.

Snape joined me at the workbench and he carried out the tasks that didn't appeal to me so much, such as extracting rat spleens and chopping up slugs. He talked for awhile about the various potions he had to make for Madam Pomfrey, the best way to make them and which ones the school nurse needed a large supply of. I listened intently, interested in everything he said. It was different to being in class. Snape didn't sneer once, nor did he snap or glare in every direction. He only frowned when he was concentrating, but then, I always did the same thing when I was concentrating.

It was clear that while Snape was extremely skilled in everything related to the subject, he enjoyed it too. I wondered if he would have moved into research work if he hadn't been a teacher. It seemed like it could have been a singular occupation, which would have suited Snape down to the ground.

Thinking about careers Snape could have chosen led me to think about my own career choices. I had no idea what I wanted to do. But ever since Father had mentioned being married and not having a career, I had been worried.

"Well?" said Snape suddenly, pushing a set of scales he had been using away and picking up a cup of dried nettles.

I looked up at him, at a loss for what he meant.

"You're thinking about something that worries you." He met my gaze. "Care to enlighten me?"

I stared at him. I had gotten very good at hiding my feelings while I had been at Father's place. But Snape always knew.

"Alright," I said, a little uneasily. "When Coleman came over, he asked me about my career aspirations."

Snape looked sharply at me. "And?" he said. "What did you say?"

"I told him that I hadn't thought a lot about it," I said. "It's the truth and I knew Father was happy for me to say that."

Snape nodded. "I am glad you said that," he said quietly, picking up a pumice stone. "Go on."

"Well, don't fifth years have to go to careers advice meetings soon?"

"They do," he answered, inclining his head.

"I don't know what to tell Professor Flitwick," I said, "and I don't want anything getting back to Father…or anyone else involved in…" I trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence. Fortunately, Snape understood.

"Say no more," he said. "Fifth years do need to see their Head of House for careers advice. _You_ don't. Flitwick knows you may not be coming to see him because you may as well see _me_. It is your decision who you talk to, of course," he added as an afterthought.

"But what if Draco Malfoy asks me, or-"

"-You will tell him that you are undecided," he replied. "Many students go on to NEWT level without knowing what they want to do. Even if you do have some idea within the next few months, you will still tell _anyone_ who asks that you are undecided." He fixed me with a stern expression. "Understood?"

I nodded. We worked in silence for a minute or two. "Father wants me to be a housewife," I said, shredding the Boomslang skin.

"_I_ don't," he said, looking up again, his lip curling. "And I'm sure _you_ don't. Narrower shreds," he added, watching what I was doing.

"I don't," I said quietly.

Snape watched me in silence for a few moments. "So no ideas at all, then?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not really. I know what I _don't_ want to do, if that helps."

Snape smirked. "Do not become a teacher," he said, his eyes narrowed. "Despite what some say, it is _not_ rewarding work."

I smiled.

"It's not funny," he said, pretending to be affronted. "Do you know how many dunderheads have passed through my classroom door over the years?"

"Too many," I said, still smiling.

"It's _mind boggling_," he said seriously. "Well, tell me then, what have you ruled out completely?"

"Auror, Trade, Curse Breaking, Muggle Relations-"

"Ah, I'm glad for your sake that Muggle Relations is out," said Snape, sneering. "Father certainly would _not_ approve of that."

"No," I agreed. "Well, that's about it."

"You forgot to add _teaching_," he drawled.

"And teaching," I said. "Definitely not teaching."

"What about Healing?" Snape suggested. "You could easily do that. And it's always challenging."

"It's a possibility," I said thoughtfully, "but I'm not sure I have the people skills." That was honest. I could be social when I had to, but I generally preferred to keep to myself and work by myself.

Snape understood. "Research then," he said. "There are many fields you could explore."

"That's more appealing," I said. I watched him get up and carefully add the dried nettles to one of the cauldrons. "If you weren't a teacher, would you have gone into research?" I asked.

Snape straightened up, clearly surprised at being asked such a question. He considered the question for a moment as he stirred the potion.

"Yes," he said finally. "I think I would have."

We stayed silent for a few minutes while Snape concentrated on stirring another potion a certain number of times anticlockwise. I went back to preparing ingredients. So much for telling Ron Weasley that I didn't spend spare time chopping up Potions ingredients for Snape.

Five minutes later, Snape rejoined me at the workbench. "You haven't had enough yet, have you?" he asked.

"No," I said honestly, shaking my head.

At that moment there was a knock on the door.

"Enter," said Snape, looking up.

A small dark haired Hufflepuff girl came in, looking nervous.

"Miss Bilson," said Snape, acknowledging the girl's presence. "What is it?"

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see you, sir," the girl said quietly. "He's in his office."

"Very well," he said, standing up. "Armilla, when the Sleeping Draught starts to bubble, stir it counter clockwise three times and then again when it turns mint green."

I nodded, looking at the little girl lingering in the doorway. She was shaking with nerves, clearly not knowing whether she had been dismissed or not.

"Be off with you then," Snape told her sharply, waving a hand at her to go. She didn't need telling twice. She cast him a terrified look and scampered from the room.

Snape shook his head as he moved to the door. "Hufflepuffs."

"That was mean," I said. "She's scared of you."

Snape turned back, smirking. "I still have it, then."


	49. Blood and Trials

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 48

To say that Snape seemed a bit off an hour later when he returned would have been the understatement of the century. His foul mood wasn't highlighted by slamming the door when he returned. On the contrary, Snape didn't seem the 'I'm gonna show how upset I am by slamming the door' sort of person.

He closed the door quietly, but strode purposefully to the workbench, sat down and started shredding roots as if they had committed a mortal sin and now they had to pay for it. The expression on Snape's face was so alarming that I kept my eyes on my own work and tried to avoid being noticed at all.

I had been busily chopping my own ingredients, having taken Snape's advice by pretending that they were Rougier. It had made quite satisfying work really. If only I could have really turned the governess into a stew…though that probably would have been a waste; I would have bet that even Hagrid's dog, Fang, would have turned his nose up at it.

After shredding the roots with a disturbingly mutinous expression, Snape pulled some beetles towards him and started to grind them, his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed, but somehow his expression seemed the tiniest bit softer.

"Who are you pretending those beetles are?" I asked softly, thinking that Snape was using the same approach that he had recommended to me.

Snape paused and looked up at me sharply, and I wished that I hadn't asked. Now I was the victim of the furious glare. Even so, I held eye contact with him, determined not to be the first to break away. Finally, when I was resigned that Snape would certainly not answer such a question, he lowered his eyes back to the beetles and answered.

"The Headmaster," he said bitterly.

I stared at him, but Snape didn't look back at me. He continued to grind the beetles, his manner becoming increasingly agitated. Snape must have argued with Dumbledore. Maybe the Headmaster had asked him to do something that he didn't want to do. Flashes of my father's face and Coleman's suddenly came to mind out of no where and it was all I could do to keep my hand steady as I chopped roots.

We continued our work in silence for a few moments, each of us lost in thought. I had to know why Dumbledore had wanted to see Snape. I was petrified that it had something to do with Father or Coleman or the reason why Snape was unavailable to come and get me on New Year's Day. Snape had refused to give me any information on the subject, but it hadn't stopped me worrying about Coleman's report to You Know Who.

Snape sighed, pushing the beetles away from him. He stood and walked over to a bubbling cauldron, his face showing a sort of repressed fury. I hadn't seen him look so angry for a long time. I was just glad that I hadn't caused it.

Finally satisfied that all of the potions were progressing according to plan, Snape returned to the workbench and collected his shredded roots into a small clear container.

"Finish what you're doing there," he said as he sealed the container and placed it on a shelf. "The house elves are flooing in some dinner for us so we won't have to venture up to the Great Hall."

I was happy with that. The four House tables had been put back in their places now since so many students had returned from their holidays. I had no interest in eating at the Ravenclaw table since Lisa and Terry weren't back and I didn't feel like making chitchat with other people. I wasn't generally _that_ unsocial…perhaps I had spent too much time away from other students.

"We will go to London first thing tomorrow morning," said Snape, using his wand to direct unused ingredients back to their places on the shelves around the room. "I have a couple of places I need to go to, as well as Flourish and Blotts for you."

"Alright," I answered, placing the last of my ingredients away. I turned to look at my brother. He was staring hard at the container which held the shredded roots with a revolted look. Suddenly he took his wand out again and warded the room against intruders and eavesdroppers.

"We…also need to take a little _detour_ on our way back to Hogwarts," he said sneering.

I looked at him in surprise. "Where to?"

"Grimmauld Place."

Ah, hence the foul mood.

"Why?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't receive the 'you know you shouldn't ask and I'm still not going to tell you' look.

Snape eyed me, his arms folded and his expression unfathomable.

"I need to pay a visit to my _favourite_ student," he said acidly.

"I didn't know you _had_ a favourite," I said evenly.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Not jealous are we?"

"No," I said indifferently, "certainly not after the way you said that." I paused, knowing straightaway which particular student Snape was referring to.

"Why Harry?"

Snape looked at me sharply, though I didn't know whether it was because I had used the boy's first name or because I had made the assumption that it was Harry.

"Well, if anyone asks you," he said, frowning slightly as he addressed me, "the story is that Potter is such an abysmal potion maker that he requires remedial Potions sessions so he can attempt to pass his OWLS."

I nodded. "And what's the real story?"

Snape considered me for a moment, still frowning. "This is one of those subjects where absolute discretion in required on your part. You are to discuss this with no one. Understood?"

"Yes," I said. I wondered what Harry had to do.

Snape sighed again. "I have to teach Potter Occlumency. It would appear that there is some sort of mental connection between Potter and the Dark Lord."

"So you have to teach him to close his mind to the Dark Lord?" I asked, concealing my horrified feeling. Fancy sharing a connection with the Dark Lord! Poor Harry.

Snape nodded, his black eyes glittering.

"How long do you think it will take to teach him?"

"Significantly longer than the time it took to teach _you_," he answered, scowling. "Potter lacks the dedication, focus and discipline it takes to master Occlumency. I pointed that out to the headmaster, but who am _I_ to insult the _wondrous_ Boy Who Lived?"

Well, it would seem that I had sent him off into a rant about his favourite student.

"So the task has fallen to _me_," he went on, looking positively infuriated, "to educate and hopefully protect Potter knowing things he shouldn't."

"What sort of things?"

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Never you mind."

I shrugged. "I thought it was worth trying."

"Indeed."

I looked over at the container holding the roots that had become the latest victims of Snape's wrath.

"Oh," I said, more to myself than to Snape, gazing at the container.

"_Oh_?" he repeated, looking suspicious.

"If the beetles were Dumbledore, then the shredded roots must have been Harry," I said, gesturing to the container on the shelf.

Snape gave me a dour look. "Was I that obvious?" he said sardonically.

"Just a bit," I said, giving him a small smile.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

After dinner that night, Snape left to see Dumbledore again. Of course I didn't know what about and I knew better than to ask. But I could be secretive too. Alone in our quarters in the dungeons, I used the opportunity to use Morag to send a request off to Flourish and Blotts about Snape's birthday present. It was fortunate that Snape and I had taken to letting Morag out the past few nights so that she wasn't restricted to the dungeons. Snape wouldn't think there was anything irregular about the owl's absence.

Snape returned just as I was getting into bed. I had always stayed up later while at Father's house because I had had to memorise stupid books. But Snape was still so strict about going to bed on time, even though I was still on holidays.

"Ah," he said stopping in the doorway. "I was about to tell you to go to bed."

"I didn't think you'd let me stay up any later," I replied. Hint, hint. I was sure another hour wouldn't have made me any worse off.

"You thought right," he said, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe. He gave a small smile. "And you'll need to improve your subtlety, Armilla, if you wish to manipulate me. That was a poor effort."

I smiled. "I'll try harder tomorrow night."

"Will you indeed?" He smirked. "I'll schedule myself a triumph at nine-thirty tomorrow night then. Should be enjoyable."

I sighed. "Nine-thirty it is then."

Snape looked surprised. "Excuse me?' He walked further into the room, smirking still. "Was that an admission of defeat?"

"No," I muttered.

"No? I do believe it _was_, Armilla." He shook his head. "I must say, that was a surprisingly short battle."

"I wasn't surrendering," I said, trying not to smile. "I'm merely postponing the battle."

Snape scoffed. "Postponing the battle? For what reason may I ask?"

"To give me time to improve my tactics," I said seriously. "That's the advantage with superficial battles. You can call them to a halt at any moment to rethink strategies and plan new lines of attack. Best way to go about it, really."

Snape stared at me with the strangest expression I had ever seen him wear. For a moment I thought that he was about to tell me that I was completely mad. But then I realised that he was struggling not to laugh. I had never seen Snape laugh…so to have made him struggle not to laugh was an achievement, wasn't it?

A couple of seconds later though, Snape's face had returned to its usual indifferent look. He shook his head. "If only wizards could pause in the middle of a duel to rethink tactics, Armilla."

I smiled. At least I had lightened his mood.

"I look forward to the day you put your _new line of attack_ into action," he quipped. "But for now, you know what time you are to be in bed."

"I know," I said, resigned to the fact.

"Have you already let Morag out for the evening?" asked Snape, sweeping his gaze around the room.

"Yes, I let her out about half an hour ago," I answered.

Snape opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment a huge black owl soared into the room. It landed on my bedside table with a loud screech and held out its leg to me.

"That's Father's writing," I said quietly, staring at the greyish envelope. Just seeing my Father's writing was enough to bring flashbacks of the night he hexed me after I was rude to Rougier.

Snape took out his wand and magically detached the letter, checking it for curses or any signs that it would be best left unopened. Finally, he pocketed his wand and held it out to me.

After a moment's hesitation, I took it, still staring at the envelope.

"Feel free to read it aloud," said Snape, sitting down on the bed.

Taking that as an order and not a request, I opened the letter and began to read.

_Dear Armilla,_

_I hope this letter finds you well._

_The house seems lonely since your departure and I spend my days begrudging Severus the time he spends with you. But life is not always kind to the very best of men, Armilla, and I take solace in knowing that though Severus keeps you from me, he could never feel the affection for you that I do, for the love between a father and daughter is one of the strongest bonds known to wizardkind._

I looked up at Snape to find him wearing a contemptuous expression. "Does Father take some sort of medication?" I asked.

"I'm beginning to think he does," he answered, sneering. "Or at least something that causes nonsensical rambling. Perhaps he had consumed a babbling beverage at the time he wrote it."

"He wouldn't write anything like that without wanting something," I said, rereading the supposedly sincere paragraph.

"Read on," said Snape, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_I write simply to wish you luck in your studies this term at school. Study hard and remember everything you have learnt from your time here. I expect top marks in all your OWLS and you will feel my displeasure if you fail me._

I looked up at Snape in alarm, but he had closed his eyes.

"For Merlin's sake," he muttered.

_Remember to associate in the right crowds and live up to your family name. I look forward to seeing you again, hopefully for an extended period of time._

_Your loving father_

I closed the letter, feeling sick. "What was the point of writing to me?" I said angrily. "He clearly had nothing to say."

"He wants to remind you that he still exists," said Snape.

I didn't voice the thought that entered my head in response to _that._

"You think it's too horrible to say?" Snape whispered. "You're not the only one who wishes the man didn't exist."

I looked up at him, aghast that I should have such dark thoughts about my own father.

"In blood only," said Snape softly.

In blood only. Very true.

o o o o o o o o o o o

I had a great morning the next day at _Flourish and Blotts_. Snape was true to his word and bought me five new books. My love of Charms must have been obvious to him as three of the books I got were on improving and improvising charms. But Snape had managed to convince me that a certain Potions book he liked seemed worth the read. I had to admit that the book did look interesting and I allowed it to become one of the final five.

"Thankyou," I said, as we left the shop. Diagon Alley was swarming with Hogwarts students and their parents, all doing last minute shopping before school resumed on Monday. Snape kept sending off glares in all directions so his students would divert their eyes.

"No problem, as long as you read the Potions books first," said Snape indifferently, as we made our way towards the Apothecary so Snape could order some rare ingredients for the seventh year Advanced Potions class.

Just as we were about to enter the shop, a tall thin woman with fair hair tied in a bun at the nape of her neck came out. Madame Rougier. I stopped in surprise, and so did she, but Snape, having no idea who she was, made to move past her.

"Ah, it is _you_," she said coolly, looking me up and down. "Out in public with no make up on, I see. Very brave of you."

I glared at her, but didn't dare say anything rude in front of Snape. Snape however, had stopped short when Rougier had started speaking to me. He was looking at her as if she was a potential potion ingredient.

Rougier turned and looked Snape up and down. "You must be the brother," she said, extending her hand. "Severus, is it?"

"It is," he said coldly, shaking her hand once and letting go quickly. "And _you_ must be…the _governess_. Rougier is it?"

"It is," she said, ignoring Snape's tone, which had seemed to imply that he thought she was a lower class citizen, perhaps a former street urchin.

"I cannot tell you how much it pleases me to meet you," Snape said, in a falsely polite tone. "My sister has told me so much about you."

"Has she?" said Rougier, glaring in my direction. "Tell me, Severus, how well do you know your sister?"

"An odd question," said Snape, raising an eyebrow. "I believe I know her quite well."

"Then you would know that her character requires a great deal of improvement," Rougier said abruptly.

Snape didn't even blink. "Indeed?"

Rougier seemed to take that as a sign that Snape was interested in my improvement. "Certainly. She requires a carefully designed and regimented program that will rid her of her unfortunate tendencies to be impertinent, disrespectful and unladylike. Considering that you have the greater influence since you are now raising her, you should perhaps review your discipline strategies."

"You think so?" he said, narrowing his eyes.

Rougier smiled up at Snape. "I hope you don't condone punishment?"

"Certainly not, I assure you," he answered, his black eyes glittering maliciously. "You seem to be an expert, Madame. What do you recommend for Armilla?"

"Well I tried simple things at first, Severus," she said, her voice getting higher. "Sitting and thinking. Timeout, you know."

Snape folded his arms, frowning. "I beg your pardon? Do excuse me, but she's not a four-year-old."

"Yes, I am aware of that," she said curtly. "And I found that it didn't improve her mind anyway. There is only one way to put this child in her place, Severus."

"And what would that be?" he said dryly.

"Physical punishment," she said promptly.

"Such as _striking_ a child, especially one that doesn't belong to you?" he said dangerously.

Rougier looked disdainfully at him. "She doesn't belong to _you_, either."

"Oh I beg to differ," he said coldly.

"She is Aurelius Snape's child, not yours."

"Be that as it may, Rougier," he spat, "it is joint custody and I therefore have every right to take legal action against you for striking Armilla." He took a step closer to her. "But that would ruin your reputation, wouldn't it? The poor governess who can't find a job because she uses violence to keep rich pureblood children in line?" He shook his head. "Dear me, wouldn't _The Daily Prophet_ love that?"

The colour drained from Rougier's face. "You wouldn't," she said. "You're bluffing. You wouldn't drag your family into such a scandal."

"Do you think I should let you off then, Rougier?" he said airily. "Perhaps I should. I had no idea that Armilla was such a _handful_ for such an _accomplished_ governess."

"_She_ needs pulling into line," Rougier spat, pointing at me.

"As do you," Snape snarled. He moved even closer to her so that their faces were a few inches apart. "If you _ever _touch my sister again," he hissed, "if you _ever_ insult her in any way…in fact, if you _ever_ go near her again…your reputation as a governess will be the _last_ thing you'll have to worry about. And don't think for a moment that I'm bluffing. You _do_ know who I am." He fixed her with a vicious glare. "Do I make myself clear?"

Rougier stared back at him, looking like she'd just been hit by the Knight Bus. Finally she nodded. "Perfectly clear," she muttered.

Saying no more, Snape nodded curtly at her, grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the Apothecary.

My heart was thundering with excitement, though I didn't know if it was good or bad excitement. Snape certainly knew how to intimidate and threaten people.

"You're right," he said quietly in my ear. "She _is_ a painted old hag."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Professor Snape!" said Mrs Weasley, upon opening the door at Grimmauld Place. "We weren't expecting you here today." Her face became anxious. "Has something happened?"

"No," said Snape waving a hand aside. "I would like to come in though, Molly."

"Oh, yes, of course," she said, looking flustered as she stepped aside to allow us entry. "Armilla! How lovely to see you again, dear."

"I am here to see Potter," Snape announced, clearly showing that he had no time for niceties as we followed her to the kitchen.

"Harry?" said Mrs Weasley, looking worried, as we entered the kitchen. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," Snape answered, looking completely unconcerned.

There was a scraping noise as a chair was pushed back suddenly. Sirius Black stood up from his place at the table.

"Snape," he snarled.

"Black," said Snape, his lip curling.

"What's this about Harry then?" Black said, eyeing Snape with intense dislike.

"It's none of your concern, Black," said Snape coldly. "I am here at Dumbledore's request and I am to see Potter privately."

"I'm his godfather and I deserve to know," said Black loudly.

"How very touching," Snape sneered. He turned to Mrs Weasley, who was standing in the doorway. "Potter is upstairs?"

"Yes, I'll just get him," she said, turning to leave.

"If this is such a private matter, Snape, then why is your sister here?" Black said, glaring between the two of us.

"Because I wasn't about to leave a fifteen-year-old to roam the streets of London because you didn't wish her to be in your kitchen," Snape said acidly.

"Fair point, Snivellus," Black said lazily.

_Snivellus?_ Well that was new.

Snape's eyes flashed. He looked over at me, his expression quite fearsome. "Armilla, go and wait in the hall. I won't be long."

I nodded and left as Snape seated himself at the table. I was kind of glad to be out of there; the tension in the kitchen was unbelievable.

I walked back up to the hall just as Harry came down the stairs, looking a little bit put off.

"Er, hi," he said tensely, when he saw me. "I take it you're here with Snape?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I'm just waiting for him. He said he wouldn't take long."

"Well, I'd better go and see what all this is about then," he said, looking wary. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

The next few minutes passed by very slowly. There wasn't much to do in the empty hallway of a stranger's house.

There was a noise from upstairs and suddenly Mrs Weasley came rushing down the stairs, closely followed by Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione.

"Ah, you're waiting here for Professor Snape, dear?" said Mrs Weasley. "Well, Arthur's due right now. Back from St Mungos you see…"

"Armilla!" said Fred, shaking my hand. "How positively marvellous to see you!"

"How is bearing the name _Snape_ treating you these days?" asked George.

"Fine," I said, grinning.

Fred looked shocked. "_Really_?"

"Yes," I said. "Really."

George shook his head. "If you say so."

I greeted Hermione, Ron and Ginny just as the door opened to admit Mr Weasley and his two eldest sons.

"Here I am!" he announced. "Cured!"

All the Weasleys and Hermione gathered round him to welcome him back. As a group, they gradually made their way down towards to kitchen. I stayed behind, obeying Snape's orders to stay in the hall. I didn't have to wait long. A couple of moments later, Snape emerged from the kitchen, looking foul tempered again.

"Come," he said shortly. "We're leaving."

Without a word, I followed him out of the house and into the street. We moved to an isolated, but hidden spot and Snape held out his hands so we could disapparate.

I placed my hands in his, wondering what had transpired down in the kitchen to make Snape so angry. I looked up at him, keeping my expression neutral.

"Don't even ask," he said curtly.


	50. Tainted by Association

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 49

"You didn't tell me we were coming here," I said resentfully. Snape hadn't apparated us back to the apparition borders of Hogwarts as I expected. Instead, after disapparating from Grimmauld Place, we appeared in the middle of the cemetery in which Merle was buried.

"If I had, wouldn't you have tried to talk me out of it?" Snape said, looking around. He was still frowning, apparently still angry about whatever had transpired in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place whilst I had been waiting. The _Snivellus_ remark had certainly made Snape flush with anger. It didn't seem a nice name at all to me and I would have bet my whole inheritance that Snape would never tell me how he had gotten such an awful nickname.

"I don't know," I answered quietly. It had been Snape's idea to visit the cemetery regularly, at least until I managed to accept Merle's death without having memories dominated by Shar's presence. I hadn't readily agreed to the idea straightaway; I found it hard going to the cemetery. I didn't like thinking that Merle was actually buried there. Shar's face hadn't been coming into my mind so speedily lately when I thought of Merle. I supposed that was an improvement. But even so, I found it unnerving to look at Merle's grave. It didn't seem that long ago that we were shopping in Diagon Alley.

Snape had the idea that my reluctance to go to the cemetery meant that I would rather ignore Merle's death and pretend that it had never happened rather than accept it. I would have been offended, but the man had a point. He always did.

"Generally when you say you don't know, you mean _yes_," he said, walking over to the grave, "You just don't want to say so." He held up an arm and gestured for me to join him. "Come."

Begrudgingly, I slowly walked over to stand next to my brother. We stood in silence for a few moments, staring at Merle's name upon the headstone.

"I don't see how this helps," I said bitterly. "I don't see Shar so much anymore, but it still makes me uncomfortable."

"Why?" Snape asked, looking down at me.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure why…I don't like standing here…I don't like the thought that she's…" I trailed off, staring at the ground directly in front of the headstone. Snape followed my gaze.

"Six feet under?" he offered, frowning slightly.

I nodded. "Yeah. It's creepy." I couldn't properly explain why I found it so creepy.

Snape was silent for a moment, still frowning.

"You know that she's not really there?" he said, nodding down at the ground.

I looked up at him. "Well, it's her body under there, isn't it?"

"Of course it's her body," he went on, looking serious, "but the essence is gone, Armilla."

I nodded. "Like an empty shell you mean?"

"Yes," he said, inclining his head. "If you want to look at it that way. The body is not what makes a person whole, Armilla. The soul inhabits the body for as long as it can…but when it is no longer possible, it moves on." He looked down into my eyes. "It is not Merle that makes you uncomfortable, then, merely the shell she left behind."

"It bothers me that she's not there," I said. "Where would she have gone?"

"Well, that depends on what you were brought up to believe in," he said thoughtfully, after a moment's silence. "Some believe the soul goes on to an afterlife. Some believe in reincarnation and some believe nothing happens at all. One moment you exist, and the next, you don't. What did Merle always tell you about death?"

"She believed in an afterlife," I said quietly. "A place you go to meet others who have died before you." I paused, thinking of Merle being alive again in some other universe. I looked back at Snape. "What were you always told?"

"The same thing," he acknowledged.

"Do you believe in it though?" I asked, hoping it was not too personal a question.

Snape looked pensive as he stared down at the headstone. "For a long time I wasn't sure," he said, frowning again. "But after discovering how Mother used magic to preserve her soul…I am inclined to believe that it is possible for a soul to move on to something unbeknownst to us."

We were silent for another minute or so. I was thinking about Merle being somewhere else and the thought actually made me feel better. It was better than thinking of her being stuck six feet under. Thinking about her body made my thoughts turn to my mother.

"When Mother died," I said slowly, "she said her body vanished and her spirit took over that ring."

Snape nodded. "That's right."

"So obviously…there's no place…-"

"No place in the cemetery that acknowledges her?" he offered.

I nodded.

"No," he said quietly, "it all happened so suddenly and the circumstances were so suspicious at the time. I never arranged anything."

"Why not?" I asked softly.

Snape stared straight ahead. "For the same reason you don't like coming here," he said finally. "You know someone is dead, but avoiding cemeteries can help you to avoid remembering that fact. You just go on with your life."

"So why do you bring me here then?" I asked. "If you can avoid them, why can't I?"

Snape looked down at me, his dark eyes like endless tunnels. "I have my reasons…I suppose they're not valid anymore now that-" he paused, shaking his head. "Just take my word for it. It _is_ easier this way, Armilla. One can't live a life pretending something hasn't happened…people do die and that is something we must deal with."

I nodded. It seemed that I was not the only one who had issues about death. Snape now seemed just as uncomfortable as me. Something told me that not all the issues were to do with Mother's death either. Perhaps he regretted bringing me here now.

"Does Shar's face stay far from your mind now?" Snape asked, changing the subject.

I nodded. "He's not there so much as before, especially if I think of Merle being somewhere else."

Snape nodded. "Well then, it mustn't have been a mistake to bring you here." He gave me a knowing look.

I refrained from rolling my eyes. "Yes, you were right," I said. "Again."

He smirked. "Of course."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

I must have had very good luck the next morning because Snape wasn't in the dungeons when Morag returned carrying his birthday present. Snape had gone to a staff breakfast meeting in the staffroom, presumably to discuss teaching according to ministry guidelines and the numerous decrees that Umbridge had thought up. I was actually quite appreciative because it meant that I could sleep in – that was until Morag soared in around eight o'clock, screeching shrilly to announce her arrival.

I jumped out of bed upon seeing the package tied to Morag's leg. 'Excellent,' I said, unwrapping it. It was the only thing that I had thought of that had potential for making Snape smile…well the only thing that didn't involve decapitating Black or obliviating Umbridge. I used a concealing spell to hide the present in my bedroom. Snape's birthday wasn't until Tuesday and I wanted to be sure that he wouldn't find it.

I showered and dressed and made sure all my books were back in my armoire so I could access them in Ravenclaw Tower when I returned there that night. Both Lisa and Terry would be back by then and I couldn't wait to see them again.

Snape came in as I was feeding Morag. Upon seeing her supposed nemesis, Morag drew herself up to her full height and screeched loudly.

Snape looked back at her, completely nonchalant. "Oh, _you're_ back," he said dryly before turning to face me.

"I'm not normally a betting man," he said, sneering, "but I think I could make myself obscenely rich if I was to place a bet that Umbridge will be running the school before the school year's out."

"Any more decrees?" I asked, watching Morag nibble at the food in my hand. She kept eyeing Snape suspiciously, apparently jealous that he was taking up some of my attention.

Snape shook his head. "No, but I do believe more are coming." He folded his arms, scowling. "If Umbridge has her way, she'll drive out teachers the Ministry deems a threat and bring in people sharing the same dismal amount of brainpower as her to replace them."

"Wouldn't she think most of the teachers are threats?" I asked, as Morag started nibbling at my finger. "I mean, she thinks you're all loyal to Dumbledore."

"Oh, certainly, we're all threats," he sneered, "but some more so than others. I do believe _my_ position is secure at any rate. Umbridge seems to think that I must be loyal to the ministry due to my association with Lucius Malfoy." He smirked. "And I wasn't about to contradict her."

"Ow!" I said, as Morag nipped my finger. "What did you do that for?"

"I would say because you were paying _me_ more attention," said Snape, sneering at Morag. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Guess we know who Armilla likes more?"

Morag blinked at him and then turned away from both of us with a dignified hoot to her water tray.

"A point to me," said Snape, looking smug.

"Yeah, well, _I'll_ have to pay for it now," I said, looking back at my owl, who was doing her best to ignore us.

"She'll get over it," he said dismissively. "Are you taking her back up to Ravenclaw Tower tonight?"

"I haven't decided. I think she might make too much noise up there. The others will complain."

Snape scoffed. "She'll make noise down here too. But it's my aim to break that habit. Why don't you leave her down here?"

I stared at him in surprise. "But won't that bother you?"

"Not for long," he said smirking.

"What are you going to do?" I asked suspiciously.

"Stop assuming the worst," he said, rolling his eyes. "You never know. By the time I'm finished with that _owl_," he placed particular emphasis on the word as he glared in Morag's direction, "we'll be the best of friends."

"That makes me more worried."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Hmph."

"Alright," I said. "She'll live down here."

Morag turned around and looked resentfully at me.

"Oh stop being so dramatic," Snape snapped at her. "It's not like we're asking you to live with the Hufflepuffs." He positively cringed at the thought.

"I'll come and see you," I said, smiling down at her.

"Really?" said Snape, frowning slightly as he addressed me. "How often are you going to grace us with your presence? Are you going to wait for an invitation?"

I wondered how long he had been waiting to ask that. He hadn't brought up the issue of me not coming down to the dungeons unless I had a reason since before Christmas. He had been rather touchy about it at the time. Before Christmas, I had only come down for defence and healing lessons.

"No, I'm not waiting for an invitation," I said evenly. "I'm not a _guest_."

"Touché," he said, smirking.

"Are we still doing defence and healing lessons?"

Snape gave a curt nod. "Oh, _yes_," he said. "You have to keep up your practice. Perhaps not as often though since you have your OWLs to study for."

"What nights are you teaching Harry Occlumency?"

"Monday and Wednesday evenings," he answered, his lip curling. "Keep Fridays evenings for practice then and you can stay the night down here like you were before." He folded his arms, looking grave. "You know that there is a lot of pressure on you from Father to do well in your OWLs. I do not wish that pressure to cause you any anxiety over the next few months."

'How can it not?' I said moodily. 'He'll probably send me _reminders_ to keep studying.'

"I dare say he will," said Snape, inclining his head. "For that reason, I would like to oversee your studying in all subjects from now on. I want to do as much as possible to have you more than prepared by the time the exams start."

I nodded. I was happy with that. If extra help got me good marks and fewer curses from my father, then I was all for it.

"And," he said darkly, narrowing his eyes, "that way I can make sure you're not studying till midnight every night without breaks."

"I don't do that _now_," I said indignantly.

"Oh, pardon _me_," he said sarcastically. "Eleven-thirty is it?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't contradict that.

"So," Snape said smoothly, "why don't you come down here on Tuesday evenings as well? We can use that time for reviewing your homework and study notes. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"And finally," he went on, "Sunday afternoons and evenings. You can see Mother with me or by yourself and then spend the rest of the day _not_ studying."

"But-" I protested. That was good hours wasted!

"I didn't think you'd buy that," he said, sneering. "However, why don't we leave Sunday afternoons open? If there is urgent study to be done, so be it. Otherwise, we may utilise the time doing something else. Will that live up to your Ravenclaw expectations?"

"I suppose so," I said.

Snape nodded. "Good. That's settled then. Just don't get yourself stuck in the mind frame that you're only restricted to those days though."

"I won't," I said. "Besides, I'll have to keep coming to see if Morag is surviving."

Snape narrowed his eyes, his lip curled. "She'll survive if she behaves herself."

We both looked down at her. She glanced up at Snape and gave a faint hoot.

"Melancholy hooting will not draw my sympathy," he scoffed.

I shook my head. If _I_ was a betting person, I would have bet _against_ Snape and Morag becoming friends in the next few months.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Mill!" Lisa shrieked, when she spotted me entering the common room that evening. She nearly upset a game of wizard's chess between a couple of first years in her haste to jump up and give me a hug.

"Steady on, Lisa," said Terry, who had jumped up as well.

"I missed you too," I said laughing, as I hugged her back. "Did you get the letter I sent back?" I had sent letters back to Lisa and Terry, informing them that I was alright, and I _was_ happy. They needed reassuring every now and then.

"Yeah, I did," said Lisa, letting go so Terry could hug me. "You have to tell us everything, Mill. We mean _everything_."

"Fine, fine," I said, waving a hand aside. "Let's find a private place to sit then."

We sat down at a small table in a corner of the common room, quite far from everybody else. The common room was unusually loud for Ravenclaw standards, as all returning students were happily exchanging holiday news with friends.

Lisa and Terry insisted on hearing all about my holidays first and wanted every detail, even down to what Snape had thought of their Christmas gifts to me. They were both very impressed with Snape's gift of Morag, and were very eager to meet her.

"Well, she lives down in the dungeons," I said. "I might be able to bring her up to the owlery one morning so you can meet her. It isn't supposed to be common knowledge that she's a Metamorphmagus."

"That's so cool," said Terry, his eyes wide. "That beats my mooing alarm clock. Shame Snape didn't like it."

"Mm," I said. "Can you really imagine Snape starting his day to a _moo_?"

"Suppose not," he admitted.

"What about your gift to Snape?" Lisa asked eagerly. "He wouldn't tell you what it was."

"Oh…er-" As close as I was to my friends, playing the piano for Snape was a bit personal, for him as well as me, and it didn't feel right to be sharing it with them. That was just something between Snape and I. Telling Lisa and Terry would mean having to delve into all the reasons I didn't play in the first place and Snape knowing those troubles. Lisa especially would be offended that I had confided in Snape rather than her over my Shar and Merle issues. I got the feeling that they would be offended either way.

"Oh," said Terry, looking aghast. "Was it _that_ bad, Milla?" He leaned forward. "Did he want a pet bat from you or something?" he whispered. "He just didn't want to tell you because you would refuse to live with a bat?"

"No!" I said, laughing. "Not at all like that!"

"What then?" asked Lisa.

"Well…" I said, feeling uncomfortable. "It's sort of a private thing that involves going into lot of issues to explain…I wouldn't think Snape would appreciate me telling you both about it."

Lisa stared at me. "Snape wouldn't appreciate it or _you _wouldn't appreciate it?"

"Don't be like that," I said evenly. "It wouldn't be fair to him either if I started giving out every detail about his gift. Don't you agree?"

Lisa sighed. "Oh, alright," she said grimly. "We're not going to have the same fight again. You would tell us if you thought we needed to know."

"That's right," I said, feeling a bit guilty for not telling her things lately. We used to share all our hopes, dreams and fears with each other. But in the past few months, it had become dangerous for me to share too much information with her and I had sought confidence in Snape instead.

"Well, then," said Terry, leaning back. "Tell us about your holiday at your father's house."

"_That_," I said, "I can tell you."

I didn't give them every detail, such as Coleman coming to 'test' me; that would have only freaked them out. I also didn't tell them about Tonks; I didn't want to blow her cover in case it was needed again in future. Instead, I told them about memorising books, having a governess and socialising with Slytherins at the dinner party. I also conveniently left out the bit about Flint's drunken behaviour. Lisa and Terry seemed appalled enough anyway.

"Well we knew your father was a right git, but I'd like to meet that governess in a dark alleyway someday and duel," said Terry, looking disgusted.

"You'll have to get in line," I said. "I'm first. Actually, Snape would want to go first, but he's much better at duelling than me and I might not get the chance to hex her if he attacks first."

I told them all about Snape threatening Rougier in Diagon Alley.

"Wow," breathed Lisa.

"I'm afraid this means Snape will have to go up in our esteem," Terry said to Lisa. "I wish I could have seen it!"

"Oh, the facial expressions alone were impressive," I said. "He knows how to threaten."

Terry looked at his watch. "We'll have to tell you about our holidays later, Mill. We have to go and meet Hermione Granger."

I raised an eyebrow. "_We_?"

"Yeah, the three of us," said Terry.

I looked at Lisa in confusion. "Hermione? What about?"

Lisa shrugged. "Don't ask me. Terry won't tell me. Apparently he will suffer the consequences if he does…whatever that means."

"Don't worry," said Terry, getting up. "We'll be back before curfew."

Lisa and I followed him out of the common room and through many deserted corridors until we came to a stop in the middle of one. All I could see was a tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Terry stared hard at the opposite wall in concentration and suddenly before our eyes, a door appeared.

"What-" Lisa began, looking bewildered.

"Shh!" said Terry, taking her hand and opening the door. He gestured for me to follow.

We walked into a fairly large room that was lit with flickering torches. Many bookcases lined the walls and there were silk cushions everywhere. Seated primly on a purple cushion a few metres from where we stood, was Hermione Granger. She looked up from her book and gave a wide smile.

"Hello!" she said brightly. "I thought you might have forgotten," she said to Terry.

"No," he said. "I thought they would want to know."

"Know _what_?" said Lisa, completely exasperated.

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around. "I didn't know this place existed."

"Well this particular type of room didn't exist until we needed it," said Hermione, standing up. "This is the Room of Requirement. It appears here when one really needs to use it for something. It changes its décor depending on what it is needed for."

Well, _that_ was impressive.

Lisa spun around to face Terry. "So this is where you have been coming with the other Ravenclaws?"

"Yeah," he said, going red. "But I couldn't tell you about it. Hermione has us all in a binding contract. Only she can divulge information about it to people who aren't members."

"Members of what?' I asked curiously. "What do you do here?"

"Before I tell you both," said Hermione, looking at Lisa and I, "I must have your word that you won't sneak to anyone what goes on here. I need a magical promise. If it gets broken, you'll suffer the same consequences that a group member would suffer for the same crime."

"Alright," said Lisa, looking nonchalant.

Hermione looked at me. "Armilla?"

"Yeah, okay," I said, taking out my wand.

The three of us held our wands out so the tips connected and Hermione started muttering a charm under her breath.

"Alright," she said finally. She pointed her wand at a wall and said a revealing charm. A big piece of paper came into view. In big letters, it read _Dumbledore's Army_. Underneath it was a list of names, the people who were members. I scanned down the list. Not one person was a Slytherin.

"I had to hide it until I had their word," Hermione explained to Terry.

"Dumbledore's Army?" said Lisa. "What's this about?"

"Well, we were fed up with the lack of a practical approach to Defence," said Hermione. "Umbridge is hopeless and the Ministry doesn't want students learning to protect themselves obviously. Harry's been teaching all of us."

"Harry Potter?" said Lisa, incredulously. "I know he's gotten himself out of a number of tight spots and all that, but-"

Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but Terry got in first.

"More than tight spots, Lisa," he said. "Potter's really good at defence and we've learnt loads from him. Even if the Ministry's ignoring the fact that You Know Who's back, we're not. We want to be able to protect ourselves and we support Dumbledore." He gestured up at the sign. "Hence the group's name."

It all sounded really interesting to me. And _very_ risky. They would all be expelled if Umbridge ever found out.

"It's a dangerous thing to do," I said, looking up at the sign. "What if you're caught?"

"We're extremely careful," said Hermione. "We have secret means of contacting each other and we arrive and leave in small groups, so as to avoid detection. Believe me, the risk will be worth it in the long run."

Lisa looked uncertain. "I don't know…" she said.

"You don't have to join if you don't want to," she said. "I already have your magical promises that neither of you will give us away. Terry had the idea that the two of you might want to join. I organised this meeting tonight with Terry after Harry and Ron agreed to it."

Terry turned to look at both of us. "I don't want to pressure either of you," he said. "Especially you, Mill, being a teacher's sister and all. But I think this is a really good opportunity. You have no idea how good Potter is and you'll really make up for time wasted in Defence class."

Lisa nodded slowly. "You've got a good point," she said. "It's just the risk that worries me."

"We're really careful, Lisa," said Hermione. "The DA has been doing this for months now and no one has detected anything."

Lisa nodded again. "Alright. Count me in. I suppose it will be worth it in the long run."

Hermione nodded and silently offered her a quill. Lisa took it and went to add her name to the bottom of the list on the wall.

"How about you, Armilla?" asked Terry.

I didn't answer at first. I didn't care what they said. It was such a risky thing to be involved in. I knew it was for a good thing in the long run, but joining held no advantage for me. True, Harry Potter was excellent at Defence, but he was nothing compared to Snape. And I had already been getting (and would continue to get) defence lessons from an expert. I probably already knew just as much, if not more than all the members of the DA. And the thought of getting caught terrified me. What would Snape say if I got expelled? What would _Father _say?

I shook my head. "No," I said quietly. "Thanks for telling me about it and everything. I'm glad you're all learning heaps…but it's too risky for my position." I glanced around at all of them. "You understand that, right?"

They all nodded. Lisa looked troubled, seeing as she had just signed herself in and I had said no.

"And I've made a magical promise," I said, "so your secret's safe with me."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

It was with a light conscience that I made my way down to breakfast with my friends the next day. Lisa was still troubled, even though she had accepted, and Terry had been doing his best to reassure her that they would not get caught. Her eyes had lit up when Terry had presented her with a fake galleon that would communicate meeting times. It reminded me of my chocolate frog card.

I didn't regret saying no. I believed that by joining such a group, I could only stand to lose.

It soon became clear that other DA members who had known about the meeting the night before were not so impressed with my decision not to join. Namely, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Ron especially wasted no time in sending suspicious glances my way and then muttering in Hermione's ear.

Harry wasn't so obvious as Ron, but he did keep shooting curious glances in my direction.

My friends and I met Draco Malfoy with Crabbe and Goyle in the Entrance Hall as we made our way to Transfiguration. Thankfully, Pansy was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello Armilla," said Malfoy pleasantly, completely ignoring my friends. "How were the rest of your holidays? Good?"

"Lovely," I said evenly. "Yours, Draco?"

"Oh, pretty good," he crooned. "I wanted to go shopping in Paris, but Father was too busy at the Ministry." He sighed. "He has such an important position at the Ministry, you see, and so it's hard for him to get time off because he simply cannot be spared."

Oh spare me the _Lucius Malfoy should be King_ speech. "Oh well," I said, "there's always next holidays. Maybe you can go then."

"Armilla, we're going to be late," said Lisa, looking pointedly at her watch.

"I had better let you go then," said Draco, "I wouldn't want to cause_ Ravenclaws_ to be late for class. _That_ wouldn't look good, would it?"

"No," I said politely, "it wouldn't. See you."

"Bye," he said airily, as he walked off towards Charms with Crabbe and Goyle.

Terry was positively growling beside me.

"If I could give points, Terry," I said, as we hurried to McGonagall's classroom. "I would award you fifty points for an excellent example of self-restraint."

Terry merely grunted in reply.

o o o o o o o o o o o

All day long, whenever I saw Harry and Ron, I got the same suspicious looks. Sometimes Ron would just glare at me, while Hermione would give me apologetic smiles. By the afternoon, I had gotten really irritated by it and I decided to ask Hermione about it.

I hung back after Ancient Runes, the last class of the day, and let Terry and Lisa head back to the common room. I stood outside the classroom, waiting for Hermione to come out. She was generally always the last to leave because she had the most books to pack and carry.

"Oh, hi Armilla," she said when she finally came out. She looked a bit flustered as she swung her bag over her shoulder.

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you," I said.

Hermione looked like she had been expecting this. "Of course," she said. "I'm heading to the library if you want to walk with me."

"Alright," I said, falling into step next to her. "Harry and Ron haven't been that subtle with their glances in my direction today. What's that about?"

Hermione went pink. "I'm really embarrassed about this, Armilla. I'll tell you why, but you mustn't think that _I_ feel the same way."

"Well then?" I asked.

Hermione looked agitated. "Well, it took a lot of convincing to even get Harry and Ron to let Terry invite you last night," she whispered. "I mean, they think you're nice and everything…it's just that-" Hermione broke off, looking embarrassed.

"I'm Snape's sister?" I offered. "Or from their view, the enemy's sister?"

Hermione shook her head. "Well not really the enemy," she said. "Harry and Ron don't really trust Snape. _I_ do," she said quickly, "but even after I convinced Harry and Ron that you're trustworthy, they thought it was risky in case Snape found out."

I nodded. I understood that perfectly. Snape would take the case straight to Dumbledore if he found out.

"So then," Hermione went on, "when I told them last night that you had said no, they thought there was an even bigger chance that you would tell Snape, magical contract or not."

"Well, I wouldn't," I said heatedly.

"You don't have to convince _me_," she said quickly. "I know you wouldn't. That's not the only reason."

"What then?"

"They think that if you had joined the group, that would have proven to everyone that as a Snape, you're truly on the Light side. You know of course, that many students have their doubts about your brother."

I stopped abruptly and turned to face her. "So by not joining, I am giving the impression that I'm on the Dark side, because of my brother?"

Slowly, Hermione nodded. "It's not just Harry and Ron," she said quietly. "A few of the others knew about the meeting last night and they think your refusal means that you're on Snape's side…and many think that Snape's side is the Dark side."

"That's ridiculous," I whispered angrily. "I thought they had more sense than that. Evidently not."

"Armilla, we don't _all_ think that," said Hermione, looking upset. "It's just that you've also been seen being friendly to Malfoy and some of the Slytherins were overheard talking about dancing with you at your Father's house. It's made people think that you've joined their side."

"Has it?" I said furiously. "Well, then you can all think what you like. You all seem to have wild imaginations. You obviously don't need _me_ to set your facts straight, do you? You just see things and spin wild tales to spread around. I'm glad I didn't join!"

With that, I spun on my heel and hurried off in the opposite direction, leaving Hermione standing open-mouthed outside the library.


	51. That Abstract Feeling

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 50

I wasn't normally so fiery. But I was just so furious. How dare they? Did they all look at Snape and just see one layer? Did they all only see him as the nasty Potions Master who was rumoured to be on You Know Who's side? Did they ever stop to think that maybe it was just a façade? Did they stop to think that maybe there were reasons that I had to talk to the Slytherins? No! No, they damn well didn't! Being easily led and ridiculously gullible, they seemed to have tarred me with the same brush. That was it. I was dark apparently…or potentially dark.

"_But didn't you always doubt Snape's side?"_ said a voice in my head. "_Didn't you always view him as a nasty person?"_ I stopped short, thinking. It was true that when Merle was alive and Snape was just my teacher, I did always doubt his loyalty. Merle hadn't liked him much, but she had thought him trustworthy simply because Dumbledore did. But I had been exposed to Snape's spiteful and sometimes downright malicious behaviour in the classroom, and I had started to doubt just how loyal the man was to the Light side.

After Merle's death, when my true identity came to light, I had instinctively placed my trust in Snape. I trusted him now without needing to think about it. Something told me that no matter how cruel Snape could be, no matter how horrid he was to the other students, no matter how aloof he was to people in general, he was _good_…and that's what mattered.

But it really bothered me now that others should think so badly of him. With the façade that Snape kept up, no one ever had the chance to see anything positive about him. I was one of the few people to whom Snape let down the barrier, and because of that, it actually hurt to stand on the inside with Snape and watch the people on the outside think badly of him.

Snape, of course, knew that the majority of his students either loathed him or were terrified of him, or both. But he didn't let it bother him because they were people he didn't care about and the big picture of the Light side triumphing was more important. Snape had made his peace with that.

But _I_ hadn't. Hermione's words kept echoing in my head and with every step it seemed like my insides got hotter with rage. If it didn't bother Snape so much, why did it bother me?

Something else was eating away at me as well. The idea of people thinking I had joined the Dark side irked me more than it probably should have. Of course I wasn't dark! And it was ridiculous that people had such a notion. It just worried me more thinking about the potential I had to be dark. My father was a Death Eater. My brother had been a Death Eater. _I_ couldn't be full of goodness with such relations! I knew I wasn't full of goodness. Who was? A lump settled in my stomach when I thought back to the conversation I had had with Snape about Father recently. It was just after reading Father's most recent letter.

_I closed the letter, feeling sick. "What was the point of writing to me?" I said angrily. "He clearly had nothing to say."_

"_He wants to remind you that he still exists," said Snape._

_I didn't voice the thought that entered my head in response to that._

"_You think it's too horrible to say?" Snape whispered. "You're not the only one who wishes the man didn't exist."_

_I looked up at him, aghast that I should have such dark thoughts about my own father._

"_In blood only," said Snape softly._

It was true. I _did _have dark thoughts about my father. I _did_ wish that the man didn't exist, just like Snape did. And Snape hadn't told me that it was wrong to have such thoughts. He had basically told me that if he had his way, Father would be gone.

If I had such thoughts about my father, did that mean _I _had to potential to be dark too? If the thought of causing Father pain didn't bother me, did that mean I was satisfying an urge for dark power? The thought of having the potential to be dark really bothered me to the point that I felt sick. Were the others right? Would Father's company and associating with Slytherins push me further into their world?

Not realising where I had been walking, I suddenly found myself on the stairs leading down to the dungeons. Seeing as it was Monday, I wasn't staying in the dungeons that night, but I had subconsciously made my way in that direction anyway while I had been fuming about the members of the DA.

I stopped halfway down the stairs, wondering if I should go any further. I had promised Snape that I wasn't going to restrict myself to only going to the dungeons on the agreed days. I knew that I could walk into our quarters on any day of the week and not be asked questions about why I was there.

But I couldn't share these particular thoughts with Snape. I couldn't tell him about the DA because I was in a binding magical agreement not to…and because I had my honour. I wouldn't betray them all. If I told him about my worries about being Dark, he might be offended. And he might ask why I was so concerned about such a thing all of a sudden. He wouldn't buy that the idea had just jumped into my head out of nowhere. He would demand to know what was going on.

And I couldn't tell him. I would have to keep it to myself, reminding myself that no matter how much potential I possessed to be dark, I was still on the Light side.

I turned and made my way back up the stairs. I was still so furious that if I went to see Snape, I would have to occlude to hide it and then I would be in trouble for that. Anyway, Snape was having his first Occlumency session with Harry that evening – he had enough to worry about.

I went back to the Ravenclaw common room to do some homework before dinner, thinking that was where Lisa and Terry would be. I was right; I spotted them sitting at a table near the fire, their books open on the table in front of them. Neither of them were reading or writing though. They had their chairs as close together as possible and they were holding hands, deep in conversation.

Not wanting to intrude on their time together, I turned to go up the stairs to the dorms instead. I would do my homework up there. As I went, I saw Michael Corner watching me closely, a curious expression on his face. _He must be another DA member_, I thought bitterly.

"Hey Mill!" Lisa called. "Where are you going?"

I turned back to see both Lisa and Terry gesturing for me to join them. Sighing, I walked over to them and sat down opposite them.

"Why were you going upstairs?" Terry asked. "Don't you have homework to do?"

"Yeah," I answered, opening my bag. "But you two need your time as well. I was going to do it upstairs."

"Don't be silly," said Lisa, pulling her books closer. "We always do our homework together."

"I know," I said, opening a bottle of ink, "but how will you two spend any time together alone?" I wasn't feeling left out or anything. I knew I had two of the best friends in the world. But they hadn't been going out very long and they needed time together.

"Just because we're going out doesn't mean you're the third wheel," said Terry, looking serious.

Lisa nodded fervently. "You're not allowed to walk past us, Mill," she said. "We'll tell Snape you've become a loner if you do."

"Like you _would_," I scoffed. "Funny you should mention _loner_ though. It would seem that I've become an outsider anyway."

"How do you mean?" she asked, frowning.

I told them all about the conversation I had with Hermione. I left out my thoughts about being dark though. I didn't want to tell my friends that I had dark thoughts about my father.

Interestingly, neither of them looked surprised. They exchanged meaningful looks several times while I was telling them what Hermione had said.

"Well?" I said indignantly. "Speak up then. How many people have approached you two today about it?"

"A few," Terry said, looking distracted.

"A few?" I repeated, willing my anger to stay under control. "And what did they have to say?"

"They wanted to know why you were dancing with Slytherins," said Lisa, looking me in the eye. "And _I _told them that you had to because it was your father's party."

"Thankyou," I said graciously. "Anything else?"

"They wanted to know why we joined but you didn't," said Terry. "I told them that you thought it was a bit risky, especially considering that you're a teacher's sister."

"But obviously they didn't buy _that_," I said bitterly. "Otherwise I wouldn't have been getting strange looks from people all day."

"Look, Mill," said Lisa, leaning forward. "It was always to be expected that people would think along those lines. I mean, this is _Snape_, Mill. A lot of the students here don't trust him."

"And it's only natural that people would think that you've picked up a lot of things from Snape," Terry added. "He's family. You spend a lot of time with him and people think he might be influencing you."

"Some people think that he's going to make _you _dark, because they think _he's_ dark," Lisa finished.

"Do _you_?" I said fiercely, looking from one to the other.

"No," they said in unison.

"Do you trust him?" I asked in a softer voice.

"I do," said Lisa, inclining her head.

I looked at Terry. "And you?"

"I think he would be one of the most trustworthy on our side," he said.

I stared at him. I had been hoping for a simple _yes_, but _that_ was unexpected.

"I didn't trust him much a few months ago," Terry admitted, looking uncomfortable. "But I _do_ now."

I nodded slowly. "I'm glad to hear it."

Lisa smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're staying here to do homework with us," she said cheerfully. "You can give us all the inside information on upcoming Potions lessons."

"No, I can't," I replied airily, picking up my quill. "Snape doesn't give me such information."

Terry pretended to be appalled. "Well what is the use of being friends with a teacher's sister then?" he said to Lisa. "Not very helpful is she?"

"Want me to go somewhere else then so you can snog?" I said, laughing.

Terry smirked. "It's a shame Snape won't let you date, Milly-"

He ducked as I threw some Bertie Bott's beans at him. "Don't call me _Milly_, you little-"

"As I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," Terry went on, as Lisa giggled. "I think that when you _are_ allowed to date, Miss Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape…you have to use her formal title," he muttered to Lisa, "you should date someone who has never met your brother."

"Oh, ha ha," I said dryly.

"It's true though," said Lisa. "Could you imagine how the boys at this school would react if they dated you and then realised that Snape was a potential brother-in-law?"

"They'd run a mile," I muttered.

"Hope I'm around to see it if it _does_ happen," said Terry, looking thoughtful.

"Mm," I said, flicking through my Transfiguration book. "Anyway, back to you two, you'll get some alone time without having to give me the snub at least three nights a week."

"But you only stay at Snape's on Friday nights," said Lisa, looking a bit put out. "Don't tell me you're going to live down there more often?"

"Alright," I said, shrugging. "I won't."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "No," she said. "Tell me."

"I'm staying down there on Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays," I said. "Or any other time I want to."

Lisa stared at me, looking a bit puzzled.

"Do you _like_ staying down there?" asked Terry, looking serious again. "What kind of company is Snape? Do you play Wizard's Chess or anything?"

"No, we've never played Wizard's Chess," I said, shaking my head. "Snape's not bad company at all and I don't mind staying down there."

"Do you prefer staying down there?" asked Lisa, looking agitated.

"Don't ask something like that," I said, feeling annoyed. "It's two different worlds, really. I love it up here with you guys, you _know_ that," I said pointedly.

"So why stay in the dungeons on days you don't _have_ to?" Lisa pressed on. "Isn't three nights more than enough?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said heatedly.

"Nothing," said Terry, shooting Lisa a warning look.

I looked between them, taking a deep breath.

"I never said that I was going to go and live down there, did I? I know the last few months have been rough for you two as well. I suppose it's a lot to ask for my two best friends to see my brother as _my brother_ and not one of their most hated teachers."

Lisa looked upset. "Armilla, we-"

"No," I went on, "I have to get this out. I'm not blaming you. I actually understand. If I was in your place then I would still have my doubts about Snape's ability to make someone happy."

Terry opened his mouth to argue, but I waved a hand aside and kept talking.

"Snape may be very different to your average person, but he's my brother and I l-" I stopped short as Lisa and Terry widened their eyes. They were just as shocked as I was. I had just been about to say that I…_loved_ Snape. I had loved people before and I did still love people now, but loving _Snape_ seemed such an abstract emotion.

But it all made sense! I must have loved him for awhile because I had been feeling a weird abstract emotion when thinking of him or being in his presence. Even before Christmas, I had felt it…and I had never been able to explain to myself what it was. I hadn't wanted to do anything to disappoint him…I was comfortable in his presence even though I had thought we had nothing in common…and missing him so terribly while I was at Father's place wasn't just because I felt secure with Snape, it was because I _loved_ him.

Lisa and Terry were both still staring at me, their mouths slightly open.

"Erm…better get started on that essay," I said, pulling a new sheet of parchment towards me.

"Yes, definitely," said Lisa, doing likewise.

Terry nodded, disappearing behind a book.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Breakfast on Tuesday morning turned out to be quite a noisy affair. All over the Great Hall there were gasps of horror and terrified outbursts of disbelief as people unrolled their newspapers.

"There's been a mass outbreak from Azkaban!" Terry exclaimed, staring wide eyes at the front page of _The Daily Prophet_. He laid it down on the table for Lisa and me to see. On the front page were ten black and white photos showing the faces of the escaped prisoners.

"Antonin Dolohov, Algernon Rookwood, Bellatrix Lestrange," Terry read through the names. "Blimey…torturing Frank and Alice Longbottom…poor Neville…and apparently they're all rallying around Sirius Black."

It was sickening. As I peered at the faces and read what disgusting crimes they had committed, the dark thoughts came back into my head. I would want nothing more than to cause those people pain. I shuddered. Did that make me as bad as them?

I glanced up at the staff table. Most of the teachers looked grim. Umbridge just looked resentful, glaring at them all. My eyes automatically flew down the table to find Snape. He was drinking coffee as he opened the newspaper, a slight scowl on his face.

"This is so annoying!" said Lisa suddenly.

"What?" said Terry, not looking up from his paper.

"The Ministry will not allow us to learn Defence Against the Dark Arts, and today's paper says all these prisoners are on the loose!" she said, glaring at the newspaper. "I mean, it's all so ridiculous. Why is the Ministry in denial?"

"Because the Ministry of Magic is run by a load of fruitcakes," Terry muttered. "They all have certified degrees they cut out on the back of cereal packets."

I looked up at the staff table again in time to see Snape leaving via the door behind the table. Lessons were starting in fifteen minutes. I had double Potions up first and I wanted to wish Snape a happy birthday before everyone else came down to the dungeons. I got up, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Bit keen, aren't you?" said Terry, glancing up at me over his paper.

"I need to see Snape about something," I said airily. "I'll see you down there."

"Can't wait," Terry replied.

I hadn't told my friends that it was Snape's birthday. It was after all, information that Snape had wanted me to keep to myself.

I made my way down to the dungeons, ignoring the curious glances still being thrown my way by people I guessed to be DA members. Maybe they were wondering if I was pleased about the escaped prisoners. Dopes.

The Potions classroom was empty, so I knocked on Snape's office door instead.

"Enter," he said curtly.

I opened the door and went in. Snape was standing next to his desk, still holding _The Daily Prophet_. He looked up as I closed the door behind me and automatically waved his wand to secure the room from eavesdroppers.

"Hear the news?" he said sarcastically.

"I doubt there's someone who hasn't," I said dryly. "I bet Umbridge is cross."

Snape suddenly smirked. "Thankyou for finding a positive in this situation. Watching her attempt to deny _this_ will be quite enjoyable."

I smiled. "Happy Birthday," I said softy.

"Thankyou," he replied quietly, as he threw the newspaper on his desk. 'What a day for a birthday," he said bitterly. "Death Eaters escape from Azkaban, supposedly to rally around their hero, _Sirius Black_." He sneered as he said Black's name.

"Where do you think they are?" I asked, seeing all the faces of all the prisoners in my mind.

Snape shook his head. "At present, I don't have much information." He gave me a significant look. "And you know I wouldn't tell you if I _did_ know." He sneered. "Actually, I _can_ guarantee that they are not standing on the steps of Black's house, intending to turn it into a house of worship."

"How can the Ministry deny it now?" I said, "after what's on the front page?"

"Well, you see, the ministry is run by an incredible team of half-brained twits," said Snape maliciously, glaring down at the newspaper on his desk. If the subject wasn't so serious I would have laughed. Terry had pretty much said the same thing.

"This calls for another decree," he went on, sneering. "Umbridge isn't going to appreciate the staff and students talking about this all day."

"It might distract Dumbledore from getting you a novelty cake," I pointed out.

"You would think," he grumbled. "He bewitched my coffee so that the foam on top spelled out _happy birthday_…after _every_ drink."

"That's a shame," I said, controlling my urge to laugh.

"Indeed," he said, picking up a pile of homework from last term to return to my Potions class. "Are you intending to come down to the dungeons after classes today or after dinner?"

"After classes," I replied, following him to the door.

"Alright then, we'll look at your homework this afternoon and then go up to Dumbledore's office to see Mother after dinner. He told me it will be available at seven-thirty."

"Okay," I said, as Snape waved his wand to take down the wards and open the door. After sealing his office door, we made our way to the classroom. We reached it just as Lisa and Terry appeared from the other direction.

"Mr Boot, Miss Turpin," said Snape, nodding at each of them curtly as he opened the classroom door. "Have pleasant holidays?"

Both looked too shocked to answer at once. I was surprised too. Besides threatening them to behave and act wisely in my presence, Snape generally said as little as possible to my friends.

"Fine, Professor," said Terry finally, as Lisa nodded. "How were yours?"

"Can't complain," said Snape airily, as we followed him into the classroom. "But then," he said, sneering at Terry, "_I_ wasn't given a _mooing_ alarm clock."

Terry certainly hadn't been expecting such a reply. He looked like he wasn't sure whether Snape was showing his disapproval of such a gift or just mocking him for the sake of it.

At that moment, a few more Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs wandered in and my friends and I went to our bench to unpack our ingredients and Snape went to his desk, his expression returning to his usual classroom sneer.

As usual, Snape didn't have to ask the class to settle down. As soon as the bell went, the classroom was dead silent. Snape seemed to demand respect by his mere presence.

"I hope this first lesson of the term marks a renewal in effort towards Potions for many of you," said Snape, his black eyes sweeping around the room. "The standard I expect seems to be lost on some members of this class," he said as he gestured to the pile of homework sitting on his desk. He came around desk and picked up the pile. "Your mark will reflect how much time you need to add to your current study schedule for Potions. I do possess the hope that most of you have at least half a brain…I am _not_ so optimistic about your ability to _use_ it if the last homework collection was anything to go by."

I could have sworn that half the class was white with fear that their marks would be low. Snape never lost the opportunity to intimidate his students.

"While I return this homework," he went on, "you are to prepare to brew the Invigoration Draught. The instructions are on the board. Pay extra attention to steps nine and ten…it would seem that many of you do not understand the meaning of counter clockwise. Begin."

I noticed that the hands of many Hufflepuffs shook as they got out their ingredients. Some people glanced over at me as they went about lighting cauldrons or fetching ingredients from the storeroom. Most of them were looks of pity, as if none of them would have traded places with me for the world. Ah well, so be it. What did they know?

Snape came by and dropped our homework on our bench without a word or even making eye contact with any of us. I was relieved to see that I had gotten an Outstanding. If I hadn't, I was sure Snape would have had me rewrite it as many times as it took for it to be worthy of an Outstanding. Lisa and Terry also got Outstandings, but that was expected. They had gotten the idea that any friends of Snape's sister had to do remarkably well in his class.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

That afternoon after classes, I headed down to the dungeons again to go to our quarters. Before I could descend the stairs to the dungeons, I was called back by a sickly sweet girly voice.

"_Hem, hem_."

I turned around to stare into one of the ugliest faces known to humankind. Professor Umbridge, though looking a bit flustered, seemed triumphant, as if she had caught me red-handed committing an odious crime.

"Yes, Professor?" I said politely.

"You are a Ravenclaw student, Miss Snape, and there is no need for you to be in the dungeons," she said sweetly, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"I am going to see Professor Snape, Professor," I said. I really didn't have the time to deal with a blithering idiot. "A prearranged visit," I added, when Umbridge looked like she might argue.

"This is a school, Miss Snape, not a family home," said Umbridge, her voice getting higher. "Professor Snape is paid to teach the students here and to be Head of Slytherin House. It is not your place to be running down to the dungeons after classes on a weekday to see him. The other students do not have the privilege of seeing their parents or guardians everyday and I don't see why you think you deserve that right."

Excuse me? Did I just say blithering idiot? I meant pig-headed dingbat.

"Now," said Umbridge, sweetly. "Return to Ravenclaw Tower where you belong."

There was nothing I could do but obey. Umbridge had the idea these days that a student could be expelled at the drop of a hat.

I walked back upstairs to Ravenclaw Tower, my anger at an all time peak. It seemed to be the dominant emotion of the week so far for me. I went all the way up to my empty dorm and sat down on my bed, making sure the coast was clear before I closed the curtains around me and pulled out my chocolate frog card.

_I need to find an alternative route down to the dungeons._

_Oh I'm sorry. Is the current route not scenic enough for you? Why aren't you down here yet?_

_I ran into Umbridge and she wouldn't let me come down to you. I told her it was prearranged but she didn't care. She said you are paid to teach and be the Head of Slytherin, and I shouldn't think that just because you are here, I have the privilege to come down to the dungeons on a weekday to see you._

_I see. I'll have a word with the Headmaster about that. In the meantime, I'll charm this card again to transport you down here._

I quickly stuffed my schoolbag in my wardrobe and waited until the words on the card changed to name our quarters in the dungeons. Once they did, I pressed my index finger to the card and I disappeared from the room. Like it had the last time I travelled via the card, it felt slightly like a portkey experience…not entirely pleasant.

I landed with a thud in our sitting room and I felt Snape's arms reach out to steady me.

"I think Umbridge is having a bad day," I muttered, as he released me.

"She's insane," Snape said, sneering as he sat down at the table. "I'll have to sort it out with Dumbledore. Go and get your books."

We spent an hour going over the work from two days and devising a study plan for the work to come. All in all, it seemed as if Snape would have me more than prepared by the time it came to sit my OWLs. He seemed to know an awful lot about the subjects he didn't teach, but didn't speak about them as passionately as he did when talking about Potions. He didn't really have the chance to talk passionately about Defence Against the Dark Arts. He fumed the whole time he looked through the work I had done so far that year. According to him, summarising a textbook was not effective learning. I was sure that the rest of the students in the school would have agreed with him.

Seeing as it was his birthday, Snape decided to dine in our quarters rather than go to the Great Hall. I hoped that Umbridge wouldn't notice the absence of both of us.

"So how did it go teaching Harry Occlumency yesterday?" I asked, as we were eating dinner.

Snape sneered. "As I expected it to…even without his arrogance, Potter is a dreadful student."

"Then how is it that he does so well in Defence?" I asked.

"How do you know that he does well in Defence?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "It's just common knowledge. Everyone knows that."

"It's luck," Snape replied, turning back to his meal, sneering. "Potter's never done an honest day's work in his life."

I said no more. I didn't feel like defending Harry at the moment. I wouldn't win anyway and I didn't care.

After dinner, I gave Snape his birthday present.

"Ah, is this the _amusing_ birthday gift?" he asked, taking the wrapped gift from me and sitting on the sofa.

"That depends if _you_ find it amusing," I answered, sitting down next to him. "I might have failed dismally."

"Well, let's see then," he said, undoing the packaging. "I have a feeling that it is a book…that'll get you extra credit."

"_Cutting Remarks: Dealing with Dunderheads_," he read out, smirking at the title. He smiled down at me. "Are you trying to say my cutting remarks need improvement?"

"Not at all," I replied. "You definitely had people shaking today. I thought the book might provide even more inspiration."

The book was full of quotes for different situations, such as education, sport, household, media and current affairs.

"_I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it_," Snape read as he paused in a section on things to say to a host or hostess. "_May I converse with your drinking glass? I feel it understands me better than you._" He gave a short laugh. "Excellent."

"Does it qualify under amusing?" I asked, smiling.

Snape nodded, clearly absorbed in the book. "This is going to distract me from marking homework, you know," he muttered. "_As a child you had a good brain. Pity you traded it with a mule_. I could use that." He looked up from the book. "Thankyou, Armilla."

"I'm not so sure now," I replied. "I don't want to be responsible for students being told they have mule's brains."

"Fine, I won't use it," he scoffed, turning back to the book. "What about _That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting_?"

"Oh dear," I said.

Snape smiled, flicking through the pages. "What about _We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault_?"

I shook my head. "Can I have that back?" I asked. "I'll get you something nicer."

Snape laughed. "Certainly not. I've got to memorise all these."


	52. Surrounded by Darkness

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 51

I certainly didn't lose sleep wondering if Snape had really thought his new book was amusing. After being absorbed in the book for about half an hour, stopping to quote one to me every now and then, I actually had to remind him that we were due to go and visit Mother for his birthday. And he had had the audacity to glare at me for interrupting!

Due to Umbridge catching me committing the abhorrent felony of trying to visit Snape earlier, I wanted to return to Ravenclaw Tower via the chocolate frog card and walk to Dumbledore's office from there.

"Certainly not," Snape scoffed, reluctantly putting his book aside. "That would show that I am prepared to allow that repugnant twit to rule my family life as well as my work life." He sneered down his hooked nose at me. "And I refuse to let that happen, for on a good day, Umbridge would have trouble outthinking a doorknob."

I looked back at him suspiciously. "How many more of those have you already memorised?"

"Not as many as I'd like," he replied, looking a bit put out as he put on his cloak. "And now I have to admit to Mother that I found something amusing." He scowled at me as he opened the door.

"It's _my_ fault?" I said, feeling exasperated.

Snape gave a curt nod, but I could tell that he wasn't really angry. "Of course it's _your_ fault," he said, smirking. "You had two options, one being that you would fail and I would win the bet against Mother, the other being that you would win and I would lose the bet." He folded his arms. "And you chose the latter."

"Well the other option would have been boring," I pointed out.

"How so?" he drawled, leaning against the doorframe.

"You _always_ get to win," I said dryly as I moved passed him into the chilly corridor. "And you would have had nothing amusing."

"I see," he said quietly, as he moved to close the door and magically seal it. He turned to face me, frowning slightly. "So this way, you and Mother got to win?"

I shrugged. "I thought it worked out best for everybody this way. A triumph for Mother and I, and a good present for you."

Snape's lip curled slightly as we began to walk. "What have you done with Armilla?" he asked quietly. "I fear you're a Hufflepuff on Polyjuice Potion."

"Not at all," I said, glaring half-heartedly at him. "The Sorting Hat didn't even consider Hufflepuff."

Snape glanced down at me, his black eyes glittering curiously. "Did the Sorting Hat ever consider more than one House for you?"

I looked back at him, surprised. What did he mean by that? Did he think that I belonged elsewhere? In Slytherin perhaps? Did he think I had the potential to be dark too? He had certainly possessed the potential when he was my age and we _did_ share the same blood. _Was_ I in the right House? Had I somehow hoodwinked the hat into putting me into Ravenclaw? I couldn't imagine the other Ravenclaws having such dark thoughts about _their_ fathers.

Snape stopped suddenly and fixed me with a stern gaze. "Armilla?" he said quietly.

I shook my head and kept walking, and after a moment Snape caught up with me, looking a bit displeased.

"The Hat didn't consider putting me anywhere else," I said honestly. "It decided on Ravenclaw as soon as I put it on."

Snape nodded, glancing at me through narrowed eyes, and we didn't exchange another word until we were in Dumbledore's office.

"Happy Birthday, Severus!" said Mother, beaming up at Snape. We had put the ring on a small table and had settled in chairs facing it. "Did you get some nice presents?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "Let's see…I got birthday foam on my coffee _all_ day from the Headmaster, black socks with jingle bells on them from your wretched House Elf, a bunch of dangerous Potions ingredients in disguise as fruitcake from Lucius Malfoy-"

"Don't have them out near your sister," Mother interrupted, looking annoyed.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Too late Mother," he said sardonically. "I gave them to Armilla to experiment with as a reward for getting an O in Potions. She left them simmering in a cauldron to come up here to chat to you." Snape widened his eyes. "In fact, I expect the dungeons to blow up at any moment."

Mother narrowed her eyes. "That was unnecessary, Severus."

Snape glared at her. "Then don't lecture me on parenting."

Mother opened her mouth to retort, but seemed to decide against it. Her face softened slightly. "Jingle bells from Docky? How lovely."

I smiled too. Snape hadn't told me that.

"I think not," he said, folding his arms. "That House Elf has been dropped on his head too many times, Mother."

Mother shook her head. "Now," she said, turning to me. "Did you succeed, Armilla?"

"I did," I said, being careful not to look too pleased about it.

Mother glowed with pleasure. "Oh how wonderful!" she exclaimed, turning to face her son. "Do you need to tell me something Severus?"

Snape glared at her. "On this very rare occasion, you have won a bet, Mother," he drawled.

Mother beamed. "And what did you get, Severus?"

Snape had been looking a bit disgruntled, but as soon as the thought of his book came back to him, he seemed to find a renewed sense of contentment. "A book called _Cutting Remarks: Dealing with Dunderheads_," he said, smirking down at his mother. "It's a book of witty insults, Mother," he went on. "I've never received such a fine and practical gift." He peered down at her closely. "Shall I give you an example?"

Mother gazed back at him dubiously. "Indulge me," she said dryly.

"Alright," Snape replied, glancing briefly at me as he sat up straighter. "_He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages_." He gave a small smile, clearly savouring the pleasure from such moving words.

Mother pursed her lips as she turned to me. "Armilla," she said in a hard voice. "If I was able to, I would confiscate that book from your brother and then punish you for giving him such a present."

Well! She had said to get something amusing, hadn't she? Amusing for _Snape_. That was a pretty tall order in my opinion.

"That's not very nice, Mother," said Snape, pretending to look affronted. "I thought it was a thoughtful gift."

Mother glared at him. "She's encouraging you to be nasty, Severus. You don't need help."

Snape looked pleased. "Thankyou," he said graciously.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Mother said indignantly.

"Well, I took it as one," he replied, looking bored. "Calm down, Mother. I turned thirty-six today…you'd think I'd know the difference between a book that's sold purely for amusement and one that's used for trouble?"

Mother sighed, still glaring at him. "I suppose. Just make sure you remember that. So how does it feel to be thirty-six?"

"I'll get back to you," Snape muttered.

Mother shook her head at him. "The way things are at the moment, Severus, I wouldn't be surprised if I am still here when you turn forty." She gave a hollow laugh. "That's not far away, you know."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Indeed, Mother," he said sarcastically, "my greatest fear in life is without a doubt, turning forty."

Mother smiled. "Well, I'll probably still be here to see it."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You think so, do you?"

Mother nodded, looking grave. "Your father will probably cause further suffering amongst those who have the misfortune of knowing him by living for a very long time."

_I hope he doesn't_. I shifted suddenly, uncomfortable that the thought had so readily come into my head. I wanted my father gone…I _wanted_ my father _dead_. I was a _horrible_ person. Mother wanted him gone too, as did Snape. That settled it…we all had dark thoughts about the man…we all envisioned him dying earlier than he needed to just to give us peace. I really did come from a dark family. We were _all_ dark.

"Terribly irritating, isn't it?" Snape agreed, leaning forward. "I had hoped to be rid of the old sod by now."

"Let us pray that his reign of terror will draw to a well deserved early close then," said Mother, scowling slightly.

"That is the hope," said Snape quietly.

I said nothing. I wanted the man gone too…I just couldn't say it out loud. The other students were right. I _was_ dark. Here we were…my family was gathered together, wishing death upon another family member. My father's death _didn't _seem like a horrible thing to me. The idea that I had _no_ qualms about my father's death was horrible. How could I be such an awful person?

Was I just as bad as those who caused pain on those they disliked for pleasure? I _wanted_ my father to feel pain. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted to inflict upon him all the suffering he had put me through. I wanted him to pay for making my brother's childhood and much of his adulthood a misery. And I wanted him to endure all the emotional and physical pain my mother had been put through….I wanted to cause the man unbearable pain…

"It'll be lovely, though," said Mother, closing her eyes. "Just to know that neither of you will have to suffer at his hands."

"It's not so much me these days," said Snape, glancing at me. "It's Armilla who has to put up with him."

Mother opened her eyes and peered up at me. "And I'm sure you wish nothing more than to be rid of him so that it's just you and Severus, dear?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but closed it again quickly. I wanted nothing more than to be rid of the man, but saying so in such a casual manner would be admitting that I was just as dark. I gave a small nod, feeling horrified just the same.

I could feel Snape staring at me, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. I looked down at Mother instead.

"It's a shame that as soon as I'm content with your happiness, Armilla, I will go away," said Mother, looking back at me. "I won't get to share your happiness with you."

"No…" I said distractedly, as Snape shifted slightly, still watching me. I looked over at him and met his gaze briefly before looking at Mother again. His expression was unfathomable, but something had stirred in those dark eyes.

I didn't want him to know what I was feeling. I knew I had promised to be honest with him and tell him all my worries, but this was different. Like the DA meetings, this was something I had to keep to myself. Snape couldn't know. Mother couldn't know…she had been a Ravenclaw with dark thoughts too. And neither of them was worried. I couldn't tell them how horrified I was about having a death wish for Father…they had suffered more at Father's hands than I had.

"But on the bright side," Mother went on, smiling again, "you'll have Severus and we all know how cheery he is at every minute of the day. Isn't that so, Severus?"

Snape's lip curled. "You know me so well, Mother," he said dryly.

We stayed in Dumbledore's office until about a quarter past nine before Snape announced that it was time to go.

He didn't say anything to me the whole way back to the dungeons, and I generally took that to mean whatever he had to say should be heard in a magically sealed area. However, when we were back in the sitting room, he just told me to get ready for bed and then disappeared into his office. Maybe he just didn't have much to say after all.

I changed and got into bed just as a snowy owl very much like Morag soared into the room. I recognised the owl at once. It was Judith, and she belonged to Merle's old friend, Matilda. Morag hooted in delight, excited to have a visitor.

After casting charms to detect dangerous mail, I untied the envelope attached to the owl's leg, wondering why Matilda would be writing to me. I had grown up seeing Matilda often, seeing as she had been Merle's best friend. But I hadn't heard from her as often since Merle had died. Matilda had been devastated over Merle's death and had been with me on the day Merle died. I had informed her about my new family arrangements, and though she had expressed delight, her letters had always held some anxiety underneath. But then, many people had reacted that way.

Judith flew a couple of laps around the room before joining Morag at her water tray. Morag flapped her wings in welcome and Judith hooted at her merrily. Finally, Morag had made another friend.

I opened the envelope and pulled out a small piece of parchment.

_Dear Armilla, _

_Thankyou for your lovely Christmas gift. _

_I do hope you had an enjoyable Christmas with your brother, even though I know you are missing Merle. I miss her terribly and I know the feeling would be tenfold for you. But we must content ourselves with the thought that she is no longer suffering. _

_I hope you are studying hard for your OWLs – but I suppose (knowing you as I do) that is an understatement. I can only help you if you ever need help on the Goblin riots of 1302-09 – truly fascinating history! _

_I have enclosed a copy of a photo I found recently. I thought you might like to have a copy because I don't think Merle had one. _

_Love and best wishes, _

_Matilda _

Curious, I shook the envelope and a photo fell out. The back of it was facing me and it had writing on it.

_Merle, Rohan, Armilla and Matilda. Rohan and Liesl's wedding day, _ _17/06/84_

I smiled. Rohan was the godson of both Merle and Matilda, and he had always been fussed over by his two godmothers. He was the son of another school friend, Hilary, who had died when Rohan was two, and Merle and Matilda had become mother figures to him. Rohan was twenty-one years older than I, but I had loved him when I was little. He used to come over all the time and we would play games in Merle's backyard. Even back then, Merle was getting too old to run around in the backyard. I had been flower girl at Rohan's wedding when I was four, but after he had married I didn't see him nearly as often. He now had children of his own, all of whom were too young to be at Hogwarts.

I flipped the photo over. Merle and Matilda were standing at either end, both looking immensely proud, while Rohan was holding me in his arms in the middle. He was wearing black and burgundy dress robes, smiling shyly at the camera and then down at me. I was wearing a white flower girl's dress with a burgundy sash, holding a tiny bouquet of roses. I was trying my best to divert my eyes from the camera, looking between Rohan and Merle instead.

I smiled down at the photo, reliving the day Rohan had paid me a galleon for walking down the aisle ahead of the bride. I had been too shy to do it initially, and I had only done it when, at the other end of the aisle, Rohan had taken a galleon out of his pocket and held it out to lure me. I had moved at once and everyone in the church had laughed as I had taken the galleon from Rohan as soon as I had finished my walk. I still had that galleon.

I was surprised that the photo didn't make me sad. Merle was in it, and it was a happy memory, but I could look at it without feeling a huge sense of loss. That was a big step.

"It's nine forty-two, a bit late to be having a guest, I think," said a deep voice from the doorway. I looked up to see Snape standing in the doorway.

Morag hooted at him softly, clearly excited to show Snape that she had a new friend.

"Give her time," he said dryly, sneering at my owl. "She hasn't gotten to know you yet."

Morag turned around, apparently intent to ignore him. At least she had given up on the incessant hooting.

"So, is that owl your excuse for still being up?" Snape asked as he strode into the room.

I nodded. "She's Matilda's owl."

Snape nodded briefly as he picked up the photo off my bed. He stared at it for some time, his face inscrutable. Finally, he flipped it over and read the words on the back.

"You haven't changed much," he said dryly, flipping the photo around to view the picture again. "Gotten a tiny bit taller maybe…"

I glared at him. "I'm not short."

Snape smirked, still looking at the photo. "Of course not. Not compared to the third years anyway."

"I still might grow," I said glumly.

Snape kept smirking. "Yes, it's nice to dream."

I glared at him again, but he ignored me. "Who is Rohan?" he asked. I suspected that even though I hadn't known Snape in 1984, he was still wary about another man holding his sister in the photo.

"Merle and Matilda's godson," I answered.

"He looks familiar," said Snape, frowning at the photo. "I think he was in the year above me…I'm not sure what House…I know it wasn't Slytherin."

"Oh," I said. I knew what house Rohan had been in…

"Do you know what House he was in?" Snape asked.

"Yes," I said, nodding, choosing to say nothing more.

Snape glared at me. "Well?"

"Gryffindor," I said simply.

Snape narrowed his eyes as he looked back at the photo, his lips pursed. He seemed to be struggling to accept that a_ Gryffindor_ from his own school days was holding_ his_ sister. I would have laughed if Snape hadn't looked so serious.

"Do you still communicate with him?" he asked curtly.

"Not often," I replied. "I received a Christmas card from him and I saw him at Merle's funeral…he has his own family now."

Snape nodded as he handed the photo back to me.

"Is there anything you would like to talk about?" he asked, folding his arms.

"No," I answered, feeling puzzled. Was Snape going to go on about Rohan being a Gryffindor?

"You're sure about that?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "I've had the impression that something was on your mind."

Ah…the whole being dark subject. Well, I certainly wasn't about to discuss _that_ with him. He would think that I was being all Hufflepuff about it. I couldn't tell Snape, a former Death Eater, that the thought of taking pleasure in my father's torture and death horrified me.

"No," I said, looking him in the eye. "There's nothing I'd like to talk about."

Snape frowned. "Careful choice of words," he said quietly. "Alright, you're playing it that way. Is there anything you _need_ or probably _should_ talk to me about?"

I hated keeping things from him. I had promised to tell him things. He was going to think that I was having troubles confiding in him again. But I just couldn't tell him. It would all lead back to the DA anyway, and I couldn't give that away. Even if I somehow avoided mentioning the students thinking I was dark, I couldn't tell him.

I shook my head. "No. Nothing," I said, quietly, as I put the photo and Matilda's letter on my bedside table.

Snape stared at me for a moment. If he was irritated, angry or…hurt, he didn't show it. He merely nodded and moved towards the door, pulling out his wand as he went.

"Goodnight," he said softly, as he spelled out the lights.

"Goodnight," I answered, feeling worse than before.

Snape closed the door softly behind him and I heard him move down the hallway back to the sitting room.

I rolled onto my side, feeling sick. I had offended him. He must have thought that I was being distant with him. I could handle other people being upset with me, but not Snape. My heart was beating a lot faster than it should have been for someone trying to go to sleep. I had hurt Snape…on his birthday…

I got out of bed and moved towards the door. Maybe it was better if I did tell him my worries about being dark. I could avoid mentioning the DA.

_He wouldn't understand_. _He'll think you're being weak. He'll think you don't really want Father dead. That wouldn't be very nice, considering what Father put him through_. The voice in my head made me stop suddenly. No, I couldn't tell him. I simply couldn't. Maybe over time, the students would get over the new rumour and think I was okay like them. Then I could get away without ever having to burden Snape about my thoughts. I would just have to bury my dark thoughts about my father and pretend I didn't have them. That would have to do.

I turned around and got back into bed. My heart was still beating fast, but I was resolved to keep this secret from Snape.

It was better for both of us that he didn't know.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Please a review! Make sure you visit the _Armilla_ Forum on this site! Feel free to ask a character a question – they may answer it if they are available for comment…just make sure you're polite to Snape if you address him…he may not answer you otherwise.

Quote references: thankyou to Mike Barnicle and Mark Twain, whose quotes I have lovingly adapted for Snape's use.


	53. Connections

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 52

All was quiet the next morning as I prepared to leave for the Great Hall for breakfast. Morag had decided to sleep in (she was an unusual owl in other ways too – she would sleep at any time of the day in any place) and Judith, Matilda's owl, had already left. Usually when I woke, I would hear Snape moving around either in his office or in the sitting room. He always rose early and sometimes I thought he was loud on purpose in an effort to wake me up.

But he wasn't in his office or in the sitting room. I knew better than to think that _Snape _had accidentally slept in. I was still worried that I had offended him the night before when he had asked if I wanted to talk about something. For now, I was happy to bury any thoughts of being dark and pretend they weren't there. There was no use in worrying about it now. If the other students in the DA wanted to think I was dark then so be it. Snape would have probably told me to ignore them anyway.

I walked out into the sitting room as I pulled on my school robe over my uniform. The book I had given Snape had moved from its place on the coffee table over to the dining table, next to a stack of marked essays. I smiled. Maybe Snape had allowed himself to read one page of insults for every three essays he marked. Or maybe he had used the book for inspiration when writing harsh comments on the papers worthy of Ps, Ds and Ts. I could just imagine a student receiving a Dreadful in red ink, followed by: _This essay shows you to be a modest little person, with much to be modest about_. I laughed to myself. I didn't care that Mother was displeased about the book. Snape wouldn't really use it on students…I hoped.

Snape returned as I was picking up my bag. He looked rather pleased about something and I wondered what could have possibly happened to have him looking the slightest bit happy at this time of the morning.

"Good Morning," he said, sounding as if he really meant it. He walked over to the table and picked up the stack of essays.

I stared at him, wondering if the Gryffindors were alright. Snape would have only said good morning and meant it if something miraculous (in his eyes at least) had happened. Maybe the Weasley twins had gone too far and had blown up Gryffindor Tower overnight.

"What happened?" I asked, as Snape returned his insult book to the coffee table.

He straightened up. "Whatever do you mean?" he said, still looking pleased.

"I've never seen you look this happy on a school day," I said, watching him closely. "You must have a reason for looking so happy."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Can't I look happy at any time without a reason?" he said.

I shook my head. "Not really," I said, smiling.

He glared at me, but failed to look intimidating because he was evidently in a good mood.

"Very well," he said. "You will find out soon enough. There is a new decree in place."

I groaned. "Not another one. What could be more ridiculous than the ones already in place?"

Snape smirked. "_This_ one," he said. "I happen to find it very entertaining and bordering between the ridiculous and the just downright ludicrous." He shook his head derisively. "I sincerely believe the ministry has stooped to new lows."

"Well what is it?" I asked,

He shook his head. "I'm not going to spoil the thrill of seeing it for yourself. Come. Let's go."

"I would have thought you'd find a new decree more annoying than entertaining," I said, as I opened the door.

"Oh, it's annoying, certainly," Snape acknowledged, "but it is so outlandish that people won't be able to help thinking that the ministry is concealing information. Even those fervently loyal to Fudge will hopefully begin to doubt their trust. That's why I'm pleased."

I was glad Snape was in a good mood. It must have meant that he wasn't too offended about me not talking to him the night before.

"Why were you out so early?" I asked.

"I was straightening things out with Dumbledore in regards to this Umbridge business," Snape said quietly. "You are free to come down here at any time, unless it is after curfew, in which case you would contact me first and I would meet you outside Ravenclaw Tower."

"Won't Umbridge protest to that?" I whispered.

"Umbridge can go-" Snape stopped. "No, she won't mind at all."

I looked up at him suspiciously, but he offered no more information.

"So why did Matilda suddenly send you an old photo?" he asked, as we walked along a deserted dungeon corridor.

I shrugged. "She was just writing to say thankyou for her Christmas present and she mentioned Merle not having copy of the photo."

"Where are all Merle's photos and valuables?" he asked.

"In my vault at Gringott's," I answered. "I didn't want Shar getting anywhere near them."

"Oh, he won't be," Snape said curtly. He looked over at me, his face serious. "The Merrigan Estate is your home too. If you wanted to move Merle's things from your vault to home I wouldn't mind."

"Alright," I said, nodding. "There's not a lot there, just heirlooms and photos and stuff. I didn't keep everything."

"That's fine," he said, as he opened his classroom door. He strode in and dropped the essays on his desk. "We'll go and get them the next time we are in London," he went on, as he magically sealed the classroom door again, "and don't worry about any harm coming to them. Mother became so obsessed about Father destroying her possessions that in the end she placed heavy wards on the house that would protect any valuables within owned by a family member."

"That was wise," I said, as we walked towards the stairs leading up to the noisy Entrance Hall.

"And that includes us, you know," he said.

I smiled. "_We're_ Mother's valuables?"

Snape inclined his head. "Priceless possessions it would seem."

Students were crowded around the notice board in the Entrance Hall and I saw Lisa and Terry near it, waiting for me.

"I'll see you in Potions this afternoon," Snape muttered, before sweeping off to the Great Hall, his black robes billowing out behind him. Many of the younger students darted out of his path, their eyes wide. Poor kids.

"Snape told me I've got to view this decree for myself," I muttered to my friends as I joined the crowd. I wasn't tall enough to read it from the back, so I ducked through gaps until I could get close enough.

_BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS_

_Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach._

_The above is in accordance with Educational Decree_

_Number Twenty-six_

_Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor_

I read it through twice, not entirely sure I had interpreted it correctly the first time. Had the ministry relocated it quarters to the closed ward at St Mungo's? Snape was right – it was ludicrous! Banning teachers from giving students information was the same as admitting that the ministry _was_ concealing information and were afraid the wizarding population would find out.

"I bet some students are going to have some fun with this," said Terry as I made my way out of the crowd. We started to walk towards the Great Hall. "Being caught out after curfew is not related to any subjects the teachers are paid to teach. It's an opportunity for the more daring to twist it in their direction."

"If you're mad," I said. "I reckon Umbridge would still be using the same technique during her detentions." I shuddered, thinking about the evil quill that drew your own blood when you wrote with it. "I wouldn't want to be caught out by _her_."

"It's a bit insulting to the other teachers, isn't it?" said Lisa, as we sat down at the Ravenclaw table. "I mean, it would make their jobs very lonely, wouldn't it? Many of them talk socially to students who share the same interests and stuff, whether it's related to their subject or not."

"Umbridge will probably be watching you, Mill," said Terry, spooning scrambled eggs onto his plate. "She knows that Snape would talk to you about more than Potions. And you would then talk to other students, possibly revealing information."

"Ah," I said, thinking back to the day before. "That explains why she didn't want me going down to see Snape yesterday."

"She doesn't want you seeing Snape?" asked Lisa, pouring pumpkin juice for the three of us.

"She told me that this is a school, not a family home. She doesn't think I should have the privilege of seeing a family member socially if the other students can't."

"But really, she doesn't want Snape giving you any information," said Terry, now unrolling his _Daily Prophet_.

"Exactly," I said.

"So how did you end up staying down in the dungeons last night then?" Lisa asked.

"Snape said he sorted it out with Dumbledore," I replied. "I don't know how they convinced Umbridge, or even if they _have_ convinced Umbridge yet."

"It's good to have connections," said Terry, grinning. "Say, when are we going to see your new owl?"

"I don't know," I said. "I'm not supposed to keep her in the owlery or Ravenclaw Tower." I couldn't imagine bringing my friends down to the dungeons to see Morag. I wasn't sure if Snape would appreciate me bringing my friends there. "If Umbridge doesn't like me going down to our rooms there, I doubt she would be happy about me taking other students down there."

"I wouldn't think Snape would be very welcoming if he found us in his rooms," said Terry.

"I've never discussed it with him," I said. "I doubt teachers would be allowed to let students into their rooms anyway."

Lisa nodded. "I wouldn't think so."

I glanced up at the staff table. Umbridge was wearing her usual fluffy pink cardigan and black Alice band, looking terribly pleased with herself. As usual, no other staff member was paying her any notice, but they weren't talking to each other as much as they normally did. Perhaps Umbridge had told them that they were only allowed to discuss school matters with each other and nothing else. Most of the teachers were reading newspapers with grim expressions or were scowling down at their breakfast.

"Teachers don't go to the staffroom so much anymore," Lisa whispered, following my gaze.

I looked back at her. "Afraid of being overheard discussing forbidden topics?"

She nodded. "I saw Sinistra, Flitwick and Vector coming down from the Astronomy Tower after morning break yesterday. They were talking in hushed voices. Maybe they know that Umbridge never goes up there."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

The next couple of days went by without any dramas. Lisa and Terry went to a DA meeting on Thursday evening and came back looking very pleased with themselves, chatting away in our quiet corner of the common room about what they had been practising. I was easily able to join in the conversation, having already covered with Snape everything they were learning.

I was glad that even though I wasn't in the DA, I could discuss what they were learning with them. They always came back looking so happy and I knew this was because they were learning new skills without Umbridge being any the wiser. I was convinced though, that my decision not to join them was the right one. It would have been nice to learn with my friends, but I knew I had the better teacher and I was better off not risking expulsion.

I hadn't seen Snape socially since Wednesday morning. He had had Harry Potter's Occlumency lesson on Wednesday evening and I had decided to stay in the Tower on Wednesday and Thursday evening to do my homework and study.

When I went to bed on Thursday night, I noticed that the wizard on my chocolate frog card was waving to me. Drawing the curtains around my bed and lighting my wand, I activated the card to reveal the message.

_If Umbridge asks, we don't discuss news in the Daily Prophet or any other non-school related issues when you stay in the dungeons._

I frowned. I didn't think Umbridge would buy that.

_You already told her that?_

_Yes._

_And it didn't take much convincing?_

_…No…not really_

I smiled. Snape wasn't the Head of Slytherin for nothing.

_What sort of magic did you use?_

There was a longer pause before I received a reply.

_Who said anything about using magic?_

I smiled as I concentrated on my answer.

_Umbridge is paranoid. She wouldn't have so readily accepted that we don't discuss forbidden issues. Using magic to convince her without her knowing would have been the only option._

Another long pause.

_I'm not sure whether to praise your Ravenclaw brain for being clever or ask you if you're sure the Sorting Hat never considered putting you in Slytherin._

Ah, so he _did_ wonder about that. I was thankful that I was a Ravenclaw. If I was a Slytherin, I would have had no chance at convincing the other students that I was not dark. And that would have meant seeing a lot more of Malfoy, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, Millicent and all the other Slytherins. Yuck.

_It never mentioned Slytherin._

_Grateful, are you?_

Answer carefully, Armilla, I thought. As Snape had pointed out before, Slytherins weren't all tarred with the one brush.

_I just wouldn't want to see more of Malfoy and Pansy than I already do._

_I think you're better suited to Ravenclaw anyway._

I frowned again. That could be taken two ways.

_Is that a good thing or a bad thing to you?_

_A good thing, I suppose. One of us had to continue Mother's Ravenclaw line._

_So what magic did you use?_

_You're persistent, Armilla. I used a non-verbal charm that made her mind justify things more easily than it should have. It wasn't difficult at all._

_Did she approach you to ask what we talk about?_

_She cornered me in the staffroom when no one else was there. I must remember not to go in there anymore unless I have to._

_Won't it look suspicious when no teachers use it anymore? Umbridge will go looking for them._

_How did you know teachers are using it less?_

_Students do notice things. We see teachers talking in small groups in odd places when they know Umbridge is on the opposite side of the castle._

_I see. We don't have much choice. Some teachers need to be more careful though. Umbridge has eyes and ears everywhere. Remember that when you're talking to your friends. Not everyone around you is trustworthy._

_Alright._

_And make sure you don't get involved in little groups who wander into empty classrooms to have secret conversations about the ministry and perform their own magic._

My eyes widened. Did Snape know something?

_I don't do that._

_Good. I've caught two groups of students from different years and Houses doing that over the past two days. They should have been more careful._

That was strange. Snape wasn't saying that they shouldn't have done it at all. He was practically saying that the students had needed better tactics at concealing themselves.

_What were they doing?_

_Ever inquisitive, Armilla. The first group were just talking about the Dark Lord and the ministry, and the second group were a few seventh years practising Defence shields._

_Did you give them detention?_

_Of course I did. They should have known better. So easily caught. If Umbridge had caught them, they would all be currently packing their belongings._

_So you're not condemning what they were doing, just that they weren't clever enough to hide themselves properly?_

_Not necessarily. Don't you get any ideas. It's enough that I give you information and extra lessons without Umbridge knowing. There's no reason for you to make the same mistake as these students._

I stared at the card incredulously. I couldn't tell if Snape knew something. If he had caught students secretly meeting in the castle, then he would suspect that there were other groups who _were_ concealing themselves properly. Like the DA. Snape didn't condemn other students discussing forbidden issues or teaching themselves forbidden magic in secret as long as they concealed it properly. He didn't blame them for taking a secret stand against the Ministry. He just didn't want me doing the same thing. He felt there was no reason for me to. And I agreed – which was why I hadn't joined the DA.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

All morning on Friday, whenever I saw Harry, Ron and a few of the other DA Gryffindors, I noticed that they weren't looking at me as suspiciously as they had been a few days ago. They didn't look completely happy, but I noticed that Ron didn't go out of his way to glare at me.

On our way to Charms after lunch, my friends and I passed the Weasley twins in the Entrance Hall and they both winked at me. Lisa and Terry both laughed as they passed.

"What's all that about?" I asked. "Why did they both wink at me? Have they played a prank on me or something?"

"No. Well, we're quite thankful to them really," said Lisa, still smiling.

"Why?"

Terry grinned. "Well, you obviously know all about some of the DA members not really trusting you because you're Snape's sister and all-"

"Yeah, the ones who lack good judgment skills," I said icily.

"Yeah, well…Zacharias Smith was really the ringleader it turns out," Terry went on. "He was the one who concluded originally that you not joining meant that you were dark like Snape."

"Smarmy git," I muttered.

"And last night, he went on again about you not being there and the fact that you were probably off telling Snape all about it," said Lisa, her eyes shining. "Ron and Harry and a few others didn't think you'd go that far, but they weren't sure that any relative of Snape's was entirely trustworthy…and you know Harry's history with Snape…he's not at all inclined to think Snape might have a good side-"

"But the Weasley twins actually spoke up over Smith and declared that as far as _they_ were concerned, you _were_ trustworthy and no-hopers like Smith would do well to remember it!" Terry finished.

I stared at him. "But why would the Weasley twins stick up for me?" I asked. "I barely know them…they barely know _me_."

Terry shrugged. "The Weasley twins are held in high esteem by most of Gryffindor House and I reckon they can be pretty influential when they want to be. They've decided you're good and that's the way it's going to be."

"That's great," I said softly, "but I still don't understand why they would say so." I was really grateful to the twins. If anyone could put other people in their place and demand attention it was Fred and George Weasley.

"Then Hermione and Ginny agreed with them and most of the Ravenclaws said that they had always trusted you-" said Lisa.

"- Actually, I think Luna's words were _She's so pretty for someone who carries the genes for Ferninkle Syndrome,_" said Terry, laughing.

"Ferninkle Syndrome?" I repeated. "What on earth is that? Why would I carry the gene for it?"

Terry laughed harder. "According to Luna, it is a well known syndrome, and people who have hooked noses have been affected by a dominant Ferninkle gene."

"Ah," I said, also laughing. "I don't think I'll mention that to Snape."

"Yeah," said Lisa, chortling. "You'd better not mention either that you're thrilled you didn't inherit a dominant Ferninkle gene."

"No, I don't think that would go down well," I agreed.

"Well on the bright side," Lisa continued, "some more people are willing to see you in a better light since the twins openly declared your goodness."

"And that's a start," said Terry. He scowled suddenly as he looked up ahead. "Oh, look out, here comes trouble."

I glanced down the end of the corridor and saw Malfoy, his cronies, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode coming in our direction. They weren't coming from the direction of the dungeons and I wondered where they had been.

"Hello!" Draco called.

"Sod off," Terry muttered.

"Keep up appearances," I muttered back through clenched teeth.

"Fine, I can't tell you how pleased I am to be in your company at present, Draco," he said quietly, as we drew closer to the Slytherins.

"Better," I muttered.

"How's it going Armilla?" said Malfoy. Pansy stopped next to him, looking sulkily at him. Blaise Zabini stopped on Malfoy's other side and looked Lisa up and down before looking back to me. Terry glared at him and stepped closer to Lisa. Crabbe, Goyle and Millicent stood behind the others, doing what they did best: looking like great lumps.

"Fine," I replied. "And you?"

"Oh, wonderful," he said. "Did you see the new notice earlier?"

"I did," I answered. I wasn't about to break into a lengthy discussion with Malfoy about our opinions on the latest decree.

Malfoy gave a small smile. "So did you notice what day it's on?"

I frowned. "What day what's on?"

Malfoy laughed. "The Hogsmeade trip of course! A notice was put up just before lunch."

"Oh," I said. "Is that all?"

"It's on Valentine's Day, Armilla," he said, still smiling.

"Is it?" I said, airily, ignoring the glare being cast in my direction from Pansy.

"Certainly is," he said. He smirked at Terry. "Does that mean you'll be wanting some alone time with your girlfriend, Boot?"

Terry was still glaring at Zabini. He abruptly turned to face Malfoy and glared at him instead.

"No," he said, quite politely. "The three of us always go to Hogsmeade together." Lisa nodded in agreement.

"How touching," Malfoy drawled. He turned back to me. 'But perhaps you should let the lovebirds have some time together, Armilla. Spend some time in someone else's company." He gave me a significant look. "It _is_ Valentine's Day after all. Think about it."

With that, he moved passed me, a haughty expression on his face, and his friends hurried after in his wake.

I looked behind me, but none of them had turned around. I quickly took out my wand, careful to conceal it from view of the Slytherins in case they turned around, and performed a quick non-verbal charm.

"What-" Terry began, but he stopped as I shook my head at him.

We began to walk in the opposite direction of the Slytherins towards the Charms classroom. A moment later I heard a high-pitched scream.

"Don't turn around," I whispered, as both my friends stopped abruptly. "Keep walking. You saw and heard nothing."

They complied and before long we were on another floor, far away from Pansy Parkinson.

We joined the end of the noisy line outside the classroom.

"Care to explain?" Terry whispered.

"She might be a Slytherin, but she's living proof that you can be sly, but not clever," I whispered back.

Lisa stared at me. "What did you do?" she whispered.

"A shield charm," I muttered. "I predicted that she would hang back and attempt to do the same sort of thing like last time she attacked me in the corridor. I created an invisible bubble around me that would reverse any hex thrown at me back onto the attacker."

They both looked impressed.

"Whatever Pansy is suffering from right now is what would have happened to me," I whispered.

Terry smiled. "Did a _loving_ relative teach you that?"

I grinned. "Yep."

Lisa's eyes were shining. "But she doesn't know what you did. For all she knows, she could think that she cast it incorrectly and it backfired. She can't report you for it."

"I know," I said, smiling. "It worked out perfectly."

Terry shook his head. "Clever, aren't you? A bit sly too, I might add. Are you sure the Sorting Hat didn't consider Slytherin?"

I sighed. "Yes, I'm perfectly sure."

o o o o o o o o o o o

When classes finished that afternoon, my friends and I headed back to Ravenclaw Tower. I was going to spend half an hour with my friends before going down to the dungeons for the night. Very unexpectedly though, we rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Snape.

I was surprised to see him in this part of the castle. I had expected him to be in his office.

"Ah," he said, "just the person I wanted to see." He wasn't smiling. "Come with me, Armilla."

He started to walk in the direction of the dungeons. I muttered a quick goodbye to my friends, who both looked worried, and moved to catch up with him. I looked up at him expectantly.

"Not now," he said quietly.

I nodded and we walked in silence all the way down to our quarters in the dungeons.

Once inside, Snape gestured for me to sit down at the table and he conjured up some tea.

"Didn't feel like coffee," he grunted, as he sat down. I tried not to smile, thinking of the birthday messages on his foam from Dumbledore the day before.

"Now," he said, adopting his professor-lecturing tone as he poured me a cup of tea. "I am exceedingly interested to know why Miss Parkinson is currently sporting a rather hideous flipper instead of a right arm." He placed the cup in front of me and raised an eyebrow.

"What makes you think _I_ had anything to do with it?" I asked. "I mean, a _flipper_ instead of an arm? I don't know the charm to make that happen…and if I _was_ going to hex her, I would go for something much classier."

Snape smirked. "Oh, I agree. Flippers aren't your style." He sipped his tea. "But," he went on, placing his cup back on its saucer, "I do believe there was some involvement on your part."

"Why?" I asked.

Snape gave me a dour look. "Because, after much tedious lecturing on my part while conversing with Miss Parkinson in the hospital wing just now, I learned that she had just been in your company when she grew the flipper." He gave me a puzzled look. "Curious, isn't it?"

"Very," I agreed.

Snape leaned back in his chair. "Alright then, enough with all this. Miss Parkinson wasn't very helpful in giving me information. It seems she doesn't really know what happened." He narrowed his eyes at me. "But, I know _you_ do. Explain."

I sighed. "We ran into Malfoy, Pansy and a few other Slytherins on the way to Charms. Pansy gets jealous every time Malfoy talks to me and I thought she might try something like she did last time. So when they left, I created that bubble shield you taught me in case she tried anything…and she did. And if she hadn't…-"

"-You would currently have the flipper," Snape finished, inclining his head.

"Better her than me," I muttered.

"Indeed," he said. "So Miss Parkinson has no idea why her charm backfired then…that's why she couldn't explain the situation to me. It would have meant admitting to me that she tried to hex you again."

I nodded.

"Well, I can only punish her for trying to hex someone or something in the halls," Snape went on, his brow furrowed. "As I see it, apparently you had no idea that she had been hexed."

I nodded. "That's how I planned it."

Snape considered me for a moment. "Sneaky," he said softly.

I knew he was thinking about me being a potential Slytherin again.

"Your tea's getting cold," he said, nodding at the cup in front of me.

We both drank in silence for a few moments, each of us lost in thought.

"Well," Snape said, placing his cup back on its saucer, "I believe I must say _well done_. You handled the situation remarkably well, though you had to use magic in the corridor."

I smiled. "Will Pansy get more than points docked then?"

Snape folded his arms. "Should I let _you_ decide on her punishment then? I cannot be inconsistent with my punishments for students hexing others in the hallways."

"Oh," I said. Damn. I wanted to her to duel with the Giant Squid.

Snape smirked. "Well then, cleaning desks, scrubbing cauldrons or gutting toads?"

"All three," I said, smiling.

Snape smiled. "Done," he said. "And people think _I'm_ harsh. You're a hard woman, Armilla."

"Thankyou," I said.

Snape shook his head. "I think I'm rubbing off on you. So what did Mr. Malfoy have to say to you this time?" he said, sneering.

"To remind me about the next Hogsmeade trip," I said casually. "He thinks the fact that it falls on Valentine's Day is significant."

Snape looked sharply at me. "_Does_ he?" he said harshly.

"He didn't directly ask me," I said quietly. "He just implied that my friends should want Valentine's Day for themselves and that I would only be a third wheel."

"Do your friends feel that way?" he asked, looking annoyed.

"No," I said simply. "Terry told Malfoy that they weren't planning things that way at all. But Malfoy told me to think about spending the day in someone else's company anyway…I think that was when Pansy secretly organised her plan to hex me."

Snape pursed his lips. "You will _not _be going to Hogsmeade with that boy," he said in a hard voice.

"I _know_," I said. "I wouldn't want to. I don't like him."

Snape sighed, rubbing his right temple. "Hopefully he won't ask you," he said.

"And if he does?" I asked.

"Politely decline," he replied. "And if he insists you can tell him honestly that I do not approve."

"He'll love that," I muttered.

"He can deal with it," he said, sneering, "As can Father if it gets back to him. I've told him how I feel about all this. You're _fifteen_ for goodness sake." He stood up and moved over to the sofa.

"I need to ask you something," I said quickly, as he reached for the newspaper on the coffee table.

Snape paused, looking suspicious. "Go on," he said.

"Did the Sorting Hat ever consider more than one house for _you_?" I asked. I knew it was a personal question, but I really wanted to know. Besides, Snape didn't have to answer if he didn't want to.

Snape regarded me, curiously. "You ask the Head of Slytherin that?"

I nodded.

Snape sighed, gesturing for me to join him on the sofa.

"Yes," he said simply, when I had sat down next to him.

"It did?" I said incredulously. Snape had been suited for more than one House?

Snape nodded. "Just one other House. You can guess which." He paused and glared at me. "But if you guess Hufflepuff or Gryffindor you'll do the same detention as Miss Parkinson."

"Ravenclaw it is," I said.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Surprised?"

I looked thoughtfully at him for a moment. "No," I said finally.

Snape was watching me closely. "Why did you want to know that?" he asked.

I shrugged. "You asked me the same question…I was just as curious about you."

He nodded, but I didn't think he was entirely convinced.

"Let _me_ ask you another question then," he said softly.

I nodded.

"I want an honest answer, no matter how you feel," he said, looking serious.

"Alright," I said.

"Let me use a case scenario," he said, leaning forward. "A new student...let's call her _Morag_…" he smiled derisively as I shook my head at him, "…comes to Hogwarts. Her unfortunate father was a Gryffindor and her hapless mother was a Hufflepuff. Having inevitably received the genes of both her parents, as that is nature, Morag does not know which House she is suited for. She possesses the idiotic bravado of her father and the sickening sentimentality of her mother. But when she puts on the Sorting Hat, it doesn't hesitate to put her in Hufflepuff." Snape paused, his black eyes glittering as he looked at me. "Now, this is where I want your opinion, Armilla. The Sorting Hat didn't hesitate to put Morag in Hufflepuff, so does that mean she can rule out having the qualities prized by Gryffindor?"

I shook my head. "No, she still has them."

"Even though the Sorting Hat didn't even consider Gryffindor?"

I nodded. "The Hufflepuff qualities must have a stronger impact than the Gryffindor qualities. But they'd still have to be there…that's nature because her father was a Gryffindor." I knew where Snape was leading to with this.

Snape nodded. "We're in agreement then. Now, let's apply Morag's situation to _us_. You and I share the same blood, the same mother and father, but we didn't have equal opportunity to enter the same House."

I looked up at him curiously.

"We both possess Slytherin and Ravenclaw qualities due to our bloodlines," he continued, "but these were also influenced by the environments in which we were brought up. I was raised in an environment dominated by a ruthless Slytherin and you were brought up by a Ravenclaw." Snape looked down at me, his expression unfathomable. "It doesn't surprise me where we each ended up."

I said nothing, waiting for him to go on.

"But then you were thrown into a completely different environment," he said. "You went from having a mother-like elderly Ravenclaw for family to having two Slytherin wizards. Suddenly you are exposed to their views on the world and how to deal with situations and they may seem very different to the old environment."

I nodded. That was exactly right. Living with my Father and Snape was very different to living with Merle…but then, living with Father was very different to living with _Snape_. Snape wasn't as cold.

"This new environment has the potential to awaken qualities that you've always had, but may not have been aware of," said Snape, shifting slightly. "Using cunning plans to save yourself from being attacked is not something you would have normally done before, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah," I said softly.

"It doesn't mean it is wrong though," he went on, watching me closely. "You'd never been in an environment that commanded you to use your Slytherin qualities before you lived with me. You _do _have Slytherin qualities, Armilla. That is nature, just like the Sorting Hat knew I had Ravenclaw qualities."

"But…I…" I had decided to bury my thoughts about being dark…but it suddenly felt right to talk to him about it.

Snape sighed. "Yes?"

I paused. I had no idea how to word what I wanted to say. "I…I know not all Slytherins are bad…I don't know how to explain it without offending you…"

He smiled. "Don't worry about that. I'll know in advance that you don't mean it. Now…where were we? Ah, yes, not all Slytherins are bad. Having being the one who told you that, I won't disagree. I will say that it is unfortunate that you _have_ met a lot of…_bad_ Slytherins."

"If I spend a lot of time with Slytherins, won't I develop a lot of the Slytherins traits that I've always had, but never really used?"

Snape inclined his head. "I think you already have."

"But like you said, I've met a lot of bad Slytherins," I said quietly. "If I spend a lot of time with them, will I be able to help picking up their ways?"

Snape considered me for a moment, his eyes glittering. "You mean, become _dark_ like them?"

Slowly, I nodded.

We were silent for a moment.

"You've been worried about this ever since you received that letter from Father and you were too horrified to say that you wished he didn't exist," said Snape quietly.

I nodded again.

"You were worried when Mother and I were talking about being rid of Father," he went on, barely moving his lips. "You agreed with everything we said, but you were afraid of coming over to the dark side if you said so openly."

I stared at him. "How could you possibly know all that?"

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Just when you think you can hide your worries from me, you discover that I know you better than you think."

"I thought you might know…" I admitted, "but I didn't know what to say…how to explain it."

"Do you think Harry Potter's dark?" he asked suddenly.

"No," I said. "Of course not."

"Why not?"

"Because he's…-"

"-Supposedly the Saviour of the wizarding world?" he offered.

"Yes. How could he be dark then?"

"He's not," said Snape simply. "But I can tell you that he _does_ have dark thoughts. What about Longbottom?"

"Neville?" I said. "Of course he's not dark."

"I know," said Snape smoothly, "but again, I can tell you that he has dark thoughts. I can say the same for many other people, Armilla."

"But they don't wish death on their own _fathers_, do they?" I said.

Snape looked thoughtful. "Some of them might. I believe your reasons for wishing Father's death to be similar to mine and Mother's. Therefore, I would not conclude that you want Father gone to create evil in the world."

"No, of course not."

"I'm not saying that wishing Father's death is a good thing," Snape went on, "but we find comfort in thinking about it because of all the evil he has inflicted." He looked down at me closely. "You don't really think you're dark, do you?"

"I…-" The truth was, I didn't know what to think anymore. Snape always put things in a different perspective.

Snape sighed as he pulled me into his arms. "If _you're _dark Armilla, there will need to be a whole new word for _me_."

"But…I've got the potential to be dark…like Father," I whispered.

"We _all_ have the potential to be dark, no matter who we are," said Snape firmly. "Even the bloody Boy Who Lived has the potential. It's like Dumbledore says, it's our decisions who define who we are, not our heritage. You think dark thoughts about Father because it brings you comfort. But your everyday actions don't demonstrate a desire to be dark."

"But what about _you_?" I whispered. "People think I might go dark because I'm related to you."

Snape was silent for a moment. "I got in too far," he whispered. "I made bad choices because I wanted revenge. I realised too late that being in the Dark Lord's service wasn't what I desired. I made the decision to join the Light side…I made it very late, but all the same I made it. Students think I'm dark, but I've got to keep up appearances to be of any use to the Light. Your dark thoughts would be nothing to _mine_, I assure you. Sometimes I still feel that I'm involved in the Dark side to deeply…and I only draw strength from the fact that I _did_ make the decision to support the Light side. No matter how dark my past is, my future is about working for the Light." He moved an arm to squeeze my hand. "As for other students thinking _you_ might go dark, that's _their_ problem and I'd advise you to ignore them…empty-headed twits."

I gave a small smile. That was exactly what I predicted he would say.

"You've developed some Slytherin traits, certainly." Snape paused as he looked down and met my gaze. "But you're different from the bad Slytherins because you use them for _good_." He pulled me closer and kissed the side of my head. "And that, you silly girl, proves that you're no darker than the most optimistic Hufflepuff."

o o o o o o o o o o o

Quote references: thankyou to Winston Churchill, whose quote I lovingly adapted for Snape's use.

OotP reference: p. 486 (UK/Aus edition, 2003)


	54. False Attraction

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 53

Snape did keep his word after the flipper incident with Pansy Parkinson. He assigned her a detention on Saturday morning to clean all the desks in the Potions classroom, scrub about twenty-three cauldrons and then gut forty-five toads. I was more than pleased, though I couldn't show it to Pansy herself because I wasn't supposed to know that she'd even been hexed. I was satisfied though when I saw her come into the Great Hall towards the end of lunch on Saturday, looking like she was in a foul mood because Snape had kept her all morning and through most of lunch. Madam Pomfrey had been able to put her arm back easily, and so Pansy had no excuse of not feeling well. I knew Snape wouldn't have let her off anyway.

Snape arrived not long after, coming through the main doors instead of the door behind the staff table. He passed along the Ravenclaw table, and our eyes met briefly as he passed. Snape knew better than to openly acknowledge me in front of so many eyes, but as our eyes met he gave the slightest nod that could have easily been missed by others, and I understood it to mean that Pansy had paid the price for attempting to hex me. From experience, I knew that Snape's detentions weren't the best, but I had the feeling that any detention assigned by my brother as a result of an attempt to harm his sister would mean a new level of suffering.

Lisa didn't notice as Snape passed. She kept peeking glances at Pansy over at the Slytherin table, and smiled triumphantly at Terry and me every time she looked back at us.

"Serves her right," she said quietly. "Nasty minx."

Pansy, meanwhile, seemed to be seeking the sympathy of the Slytherins around her. Millicent Bulstrode nodded every now and then, obviously concentrating harder on preventing the lettuce from dropping out of her sandwich. Malfoy was sitting about three seats away and had turned slightly in his seat to talk to Theodore Nott. He had a determined sort of look on his face and I wondered if that was due to the topic of conversation or his apparent desire to not give Pansy any attention.

"Can you teach us that bubble shield charm, Mill?" Terry asked, leaning back to stretch. "It would probably be a nifty thing to know."

"Yeah," Lisa agreed. "You seem to be pretty skilled at doing non-verbal magic. Just how far ahead of us are you now?"

"Pretty far," I murmured, as I picked up my glass of pumpkin juice. I knew it was actually more than _pretty far._ All the lessons I had done with Snape had been pretty intense and I had learnt a great deal in a small space of time. I wasn't supposed to have learnt non-verbal magic until sixth year. Snape hadn't kept strictly to the syllabus for Defence against the Dark Arts (or really, the syllabus that was used _before_ Umbridge came in with her boring "read and summarise the next chapter" lessons). Instead he had taught me things according to necessity. That was why I had learnt Occlumency, healing charms, and shield and defence charms first. Snape generally never mentioned at what point I would have learnt some of the charms and spells in class, or if I would have learnt them at all. I knew that he was keen for me to be adept in a lot more than what was on the syllabus.

"Well?" said Terry, as his put his own glass down. "Can you teach us that shield charm?"

I hesitated. Something told me that it wasn't a good idea.

"Oh come on, Mill," he begged. "You know very well that you're an expert at that charm. I mean," he paused to give me what I supposed he thought was a charming smile, "you _did_ learn from an expert. Wouldn't you like to share such knowledge and skill?"

I laughed. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

Terry sighed. "Well, worth a shot."

"Don't you want to teach us?" asked Lisa, looking a bit put off.

I looked around me. People were chatting and laughing with their own friends, but I didn't want to take the chance of being overheard.

"Not here," I whispered.

They nodded and we stood up to make our way of the hall. We met the Weasley twins in the Entrance Hall. Fred and George both winked at me, just like they had the day before.

"How's it going?" said Fred.

"Fine," I answered, though really, I was utterly bewildered. Why did they keep winking at me?

"It's a shame we don't see you as much as we see Lisa and Terry here," George commented, nodding at my friends.

"It is," I agreed. "In different circumstances, you might have seen more of me, but…" I trailed off, giving them a knowing look.

Fred held up a hand. "Understood. Besides, George and I think that you probably don't need it." Now it was his turn to give the significant look.

I nodded. "You would be right."

"Well," said Fred, clapping his hands together. "Better be off. We have much experimenting to do and…er…a bit of repairing to do-"

"I'd prefer to call it _renovating_," George interrupted. He gave us a mischievous grin. "We kind of blew up our beds this morning."

"How-" Terry began, looking warily between the two.

Again, Fred held up a hand. "Don't ask. It's not the most attractive story…for us anyway. See you."

They moved away towards the stairs.

"Hang on," I said to my friends, "Just a sec." They gave me an inquiring look but I turned away and quickly caught up with Fred and George. "Wait."

They turned around, looking a little surprised.

"I just want to say thanks," I said quietly. "Lisa and Terry told me what you said to the others about…well, anyway…I'm really grateful."

Fred grinned. "No problem."

"Anytime," said George airily.

I wanted to ask more. I wanted to know why they were so certain that I wasn't dark. But it wasn't the right time or place. Plus, I knew it wasn't wise for me to be seen alone too long with two male Gryffindors a couple of years older than me. If Malfoy saw and reported it to Father, Snape would have a harder time convincing Father that I was not old enough to be dating. So I said goodbye to them and rejoined my friends, going with them to Ravenclaw Tower.

Once inside the common room, we went to the table in our usual corner and sat down. There were a few other fifth years and seventh years studying madly, as well as a few keen students from others years. Most people were either still at lunch in the Great Hall, or were giving themselves an afternoon off to play games in the snow outside.

"Okay, why don't you want to teach us?" Lisa fixed me with a hard expression.

I was silent for a moment. "It's complicated," I admitted. "If I was to teach stuff to you two, wouldn't you want to share it with the _others_?"

Terry considered me for a moment. "Well, it would be nice to…though most of them can't do non-verbal magic yet, so we'd have to say the charm out loud."

"It's not that which bothers me," I whispered, shaking my head. "Wouldn't they want to know where you learnt the charm? If you two suddenly came in knowing all sorts of new advanced stuff, wouldn't they be curious?"

"Yeah, of course they would," Terry muttered, nodding. He was frowning, and I guessed that he was just realising the point I was making.

"You can't just say you suddenly learnt all this stuff from a textbook," I continued, looking from Terry to Lisa. "The others would see through that anyway. They would guess who you were getting it from and then they would know who _I_ was getting it from of course." I leaned in closer to my friends. "He can't be connected to this in _any way_," I whispered. "Just like _I_ can't. We can't risk it. Imagine if you were caught…and someone told that they had learnt stuff from another student and it was traced back to Snape…they might suspect that he had been helping all along…"

Lisa nodded. "God, you're _right_," she breathed. "It could all be seen as a sort of plot that Snape could have been involved in with Dumbledore."

I nodded. "Exactly. And some of the stuff I've been taught doesn't come in your average textbook. Questions would certainly be asked then."

"I'm sorry," Terry said suddenly. "I should have put more thought into it. I shouldn't have asked. It was insensitive."

I shrugged. "Forget about it. I'm not worried."

"Even so," Lisa whispered. "I'm sorry for being a bit…miffed before."

I grinned. "Ah well, maybe you'll have to keep flattering me for a few days before I forgive you." I looked at Terry. "Maybe I'll make you carry your books, and you Lisa, you can make my bed for a week-"

"You're barking," Terry drawled, rolling his eyes.

I smirked. "Worth a shot." I leaned forward again. "Actually," I whispered. "I should warn you both that you might not be the _only_ secret group operating in the school."

Their eyes widened and their mouths opened simultaneously.

Terry leaned forward too. "Inside information, eh?"

I nodded. "Just be aware that some people might be on the lookout for such groups. Some want to catch them and expel them…and _some_ want to catch them and give them detention for not being careful."

Lisa looked very white. I knew she was still unsure if she had made the right decision in joining the DA.

"Thanks for letting us know," Terry murmured.

"No need for thanks," I muttered. "I'm your friend. I may not be in the group, but I want you to be safe. Just make sure you don't get lax in your security."

"So Snape would only give detention?" Terry asked.

"Well, that's the impression he gave me. He's not too pleased about what is being taught, or rather, what is _not_ being taught in Umbridge's classes." I frowned. "He gets agitated just going through my Defence workbook."

Lisa gave me a funny look. "You look like Snape when you frown like that. It's creepy."

I smiled. "Mother thinks we look alike when we're both frowning or looking really serious."

"So your mum's only going to be around as long as she's unsatisfied with your living situation?" Terry asked, leaning back and folding his arms. "Wouldn't that mean that as soon as you're really happy and she's really happy, she'll go?"

I nodded. "Yep."

"That's so sad," Lisa said softly. "You'll only have her around as long as your father is causing you and Snape worry?"

Again, I nodded. "But I've never had her around properly anyway," I admitted. "I mean, she isn't really alive…it just feels like she is sometimes because I can have proper conversations with her and everything."

"Kind if like talking to a portrait?" Terry offered.

"Yeah, kind of like that. But somehow the ring makes her seem more real. She doesn't look like a painting at all. Her face looks so real you feel you could actually touch it."

"What happens when you touch it?" Lisa asked.

"It's kind of like mist," I said. "But not entirely. It's not really liquid or gas…maybe a combination of both."

Terry grinned. "Does Snape get on with her? It's weird thinking you two have the same mum."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "They get on okay. They certainly have their moments, but I think that's because they're so alike. They both want to be the one in control and it doesn't take much for one to agitate the other sometimes."

Lisa laughed. "Well, that's not really unexpected."

I shrugged. "But Mother really loves him. I can tell by the way she looks at him. Sometimes it's kind of sad…" I trailed off, thinking about my mother and my brother. I sometimes wondered if Mother felt guilty for sort of life Snape now led. Mother would be the first to say that her son was aloof, bitter and troubled in many ways. Snape did a brilliant job at concealing his insecurities, but I knew, as Mother did, that they were there underneath. Snape had let his guard down slightly the night before when he had briefly mentioned getting in too deep with the Dark Side.

"Do you think Snape ever goes to see your mother without you?" Lisa asked.

"I'm sure of it," I replied.

"To talk about you?"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't say all the time. I think he might have confided in her a bit when he was younger. He might have become distant as a teenager or something, but I think he talks to her again now."

"I think that's nice," Lisa murmured. "I couldn't imagine that he'd have a lot of people to confide in now."

I nodded. "I think he's kept to himself for such a long time that the idea of confiding in people would seem unnatural."

Terry looked at me curiously. "Does he confide in you?"

I considered him for a moment. "We talk and stuff, but it depends on the topic of conversation. Some things he'll talk about freely, but there are other things where he either gives very limited detail or won't talk about at all." That was true enough. Snape talked to me a little about growing up with Father, but he avoided talking about his own school life and generally didn't mention his life as a double agent. "I think there are some things he doesn't want to burden me with," I said thoughtfully.

I generally avoided thinking about Snape's other life. It was certainly a dangerous and potentially lethal one. It seemed only natural to me that it would constantly be on Snape's mind when he wasn't occluding. It was true for all of us that each day could be our last, but for Snape, it was quick thinking and a great deal of magical talent that kept him alive. I steered clear of thinking about that life because then I would worry for him, and that wouldn't do either of us any good. I knew Snape didn't talk to me about it because of this, and also due to the danger of me knowing too much. My skills at Occlumency were improving daily, but Snape refrained from telling me what I didn't need to know.

o o o o o o o o o o o

Being the good Ravenclaws that we were, Lisa, Terry and I had finished all our homework by mid afternoon and so we decided to take our History of Magic books outside and test each other while we sat under a tree by the lake.

It was freezing outside, but we all wanted the fresh air just for an half an hour or so. Lisa and I took out our wands and cleared a patch in the snow, while Terry conjured up a blanket for us to sit on. We gave him the praise he deserved when he succeeded in producing a thick tartan blanket that was already warm, and also repelled any surrounding snow.

"Right," I said, opening my book. "Which long-serving leader of five Goblin rebellions was finally slaughtered in 1524?"

Terry scratched his head, looking tired. "Who cares," he muttered. "I hate history. My life doesn't depend on knowing that information." He looked up suddenly. "I know! It was Mikhail of Arnhem!"

Lisa laughed. "Ah, so you _do_ know."

"That's correct," I added, scanning my book for another question. Terry looked immensely proud of himself.

"I have one," Lisa announced, also looking through her book. "In which year was a truce called between the Oaksbury goblins and the Batoran goblins?"

"1564," I replied. I had revised that the other night with Snape. He had found it just as boring as I had.

"Correct," Lisa replied. She rubbed her eyes. "Exciting stuff."

"Riveting," Terry said, yawning.

"Such a keen little study group," drawled a familiar, but very unwelcome voice. Draco Malfoy, apparently alone, came to stand in front of us, sneering slightly. "Nice to know that you're such hard workers, even on a Saturday afternoon." He let out a low laugh. "But I suppose the three of you are above joining in the snowball fight with the Gryffindors."

We turned as he nodded towards a group of second and third years Gryffindors who were laughing enthusiastically as they hurled balls of snow at each other.

"Idiots," Malfoy grunted, his face contorting with a look of displeasure.

I knew Terry wanted to make a snide remark by the way his hands were clutching the blanket we were sitting on. I was grateful that he seemed to be remembering Snape's warning to him to behave properly for my sake.

"They're not hurting anyone," I said airily, closing my book.

Malfoy shook his head as he kept looking at the Gryffindors. "They look like drunken house elves." His face became neutral as he turned back to me. "Anyway, I came over here to ask if I might have a word, Armilla."

Warning bells went off inside my head. The boy certainly moved fast. He'd only hinted to me yesterday about going to Hogsmeade with him.

Terry and Lisa remained quiet, obviously inclined to let me handle the situation myself.

"You may," I answered, standing up.

Malfoy nodded, giving a small smile, before turning to walk away. I nodded at my friends to let them know that things were okay and their worried looks softened.

I followed Malfoy until he stopped about thirty metres away from where I had been sitting. We were much further away from the castle, and away from potential eavesdroppers.

Malfoy took a deep breath and then launched into his speech. He kept his gloved hands in the pockets of his robes and I wondered briefly if he was nervous.

"You might already know what I am going to say," he began, meeting my gaze. "In fact, you've probably been expecting it since we talked yesterday." He paused, as if waiting for me to make some kind of acknowledgement. When I gave no sign of offering anything at all, he took another deep breath and continued. "I wasn't going to say anything so soon after your father's dinner party, but I have since found out that there are others who have the same proposition for you. I like you, Armilla. I think you're amazing. I know you don't know me that well, but I think we should spend more time together." He stopped again to take a breath, having spoken very quickly.

What did he mean that there were others that had the same proposition for me? Was Malfoy in some sort of race to ask me out first? It wasn't flattering at all. I had pure blood and was going to inherit a lot of money. It was only my identity that made me appealing to these people. Draco Malfoy hadn't looked in my direction before he found out that I was Snape's sister.

Malfoy didn't seem to be breathing normally. He seemed so fixed on what he had to say and his face was full of such concentration that had he not been so proud and arrogant, I would have asked if he was alright.

"So," he continued, now positively breathless, "would you consider accompanying me to Hogsmeade next month?" Though I had yet to reply, he seemed terribly relieved that he had finally asked. He smiled slightly, though more to himself than to me in my opinion.

Okay…how to reply. _No thanks, you barmy self-satisfied prig? _No, I could do better than that…_Sod off, you crass, conniving, cantankerous crook!_ Perhaps not…alliteration would seem too rehearsed…and besides, it was so corny my own mind was embarrassed. What about _Thankyou for the invitation, my dear sir. However, I am not at all inclined to demean myself by being seen in your company at the present time. Now kindly remove yourself from my personal space, I'm afraid you're damaging my esteemed aura_. Ah, if only I could. Right, better give an answer then.

"Thankyou for the offer, Draco," I began, doing my best to not look happy about refusing him. "And thankyou for thinking of me," I paused, "…and being so determined to ask before anyone else did-," I added as an afterthought.

Malfoy inclined his head, apparently thinking his race against other suitors made him all the more worthy in my eyes.

"-But, as honoured as I am, it is impossible for me to accept your offer," I finished. There, that was polite enough, wasn't it? I even went to the trouble of lying through my teeth about being honoured. At least Father would know that I refused him in a respectable way.

Malfoy looked like he'd just been slapped in the face…I would have liked to give him a good punch or two…but I didn't think Snape, let alone my father, would approve, and certainly not after such a respectable refusal.

"I…don't think I understand," he stammered, bringing a hand up to flatten his already perfectly plastered back hair. "You're…er-" Now the worm looked like he was in shock.

"I _can't_, Draco," I said gently.

He recovered quickly. "Why on earth not?" he demanded. "I mean, damn it, Armilla, who else are you going to go out with? You know with your family that your choices are going to be limited." He waved his arms around madly. "And you know we're surrounded by filthy mudbloods and muggle lovers. You couldn't possibly consider them over me-"

"Draco, I-" Good Lord, he seemed upset. I wondered if he would be affronted if I offered him a tissue.

"-Well, what then, Armilla?" he said heatedly. "Aren't I good enough for you?"

Yep, got it in one, you smarmy git.

"Listen to me." I astounded myself with my ability to sound so caring and sorry when really I wanted to hit him. Thank God for Occlumency…thank _Snape_ for Occlumency. "It's not _you_, Draco," I explained. _Yes it is! Yes it is! Shut up, I'm concentrating_. "I'm not _allowed_ to date. Not you, not anyone."

Malfoy blinked. "You're not allowed to date?" he repeated quietly. "I didn't get that impression from your father."

I shook my head. "It's my brother's decision. He makes the majority of any school-related decisions…that includes dating while at school."

Malfoy folded his arms. "I don't like it." Was he _pouting_? No, I must have been seeing things. And Rougier had thought that _I _was spoilt.

I shrugged. "Well, that's the way it is. I can guarantee Severus won't change his mind."

Malfoy nodded, looking down at the ground. "No, I wouldn't think so," he murmured, more to himself. He suddenly looked up at me again, sneering slightly. "Doesn't Professor Snape object to you hanging out with _Boot_?"

I shook my head. "I've been friends with him since first year, and besides, he's going out with _Lisa_."

Malfoy sighed, clearly having no argument for this.

I looked back towards my friends. They quickly looked back at their books, as if they hadn't been staring and trying to guess what we'd been saying.

"Would he protest to you and me going to Hogsmeade as friends?" Malfoy looked incredibly hopeful. There was no giving up, was there?

"Yes, he would," I answered, nodding. "How would that look, Draco? He forbids me to date, but is quite happy for me to roam the countryside with single young men as _friends_?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

Malfoy let out a hollow laugh, clearly realising how ridiculous his newest plan sounded. "No," he muttered, looking at the ground again. "No, _that_ wouldn't look good at all, for either of us. That was a stupid thing to say."

I stared at him. Did he just point out a personal fault?

He looked up again. "Well," he said pleasantly, "thankyou very much for your time. I'm sorry things didn't work out as planned, but I suppose your brother knows what he is doing."

I nodded. He could be so _pompous_ at times. "I'm sorry," I added, for good measure. Father had to know that I said sorry. That would save me an extra curse.

"Well, um, see you around I suppose." With that, he turned and swaggered off towards the castle, and I returned to my friends.

"I gather from the look on that git's face that you said no, right?" Terry was grinning madly.

I nodded, sitting down beside them again.

"What was your excuse then?" asked Lisa, closing her book.

"I told him the truth," I said simply. "I told him that Severus wouldn't allow it."

Lisa and Terry exchanged a bewildered look.

"What?"

"You called Snape _Severus_," Lisa answered, looking uneasy. "We know you call him by his first name, it just sounded weird to actually hear you say it, that's all."

I shrugged. "I actually don't use it a great deal in front of him."

Terry smiled. "Still makes you feel a bit strange, huh?"

"It sounds like a foreign word when I say it," I replied. "I should probably use it more."

"If you're still uncomfortable, trying calling him _Sev_," said Terry, standing up. "I'm cold. Let's go inside."

"We're only cold because your charm's wearing off," Lisa pointed out, also standing up.

Terry made a face. "Well, it was _your_ job to keep renewing it."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, _really_."

They gazed at each other for a moment and I waited for the fight to start. But instead, they both suddenly smiled and Terry took Lisa's hand in his. I politely turned away.

We walked back up to the castle, my friends hand in hand, looking blissfully (almost sickeningly) happy.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

On Sunday afternoon I said goodbye to my friends and ventured down to the dungeons.

I found Snape at work in his lab, stirring a cauldron with a look of deep concentration on his face. He held up a hand to show he had noticed my presence, but was busy counting the amount of counter clockwise stirs the potion required.

I let him be and went across the corridor into my bedroom. Morag screeched and flapped her wings in greeting, flashing every colour of the rainbow. I laughed as I held out my arm for her. She soared over from her open cage and nibbled on my finger.

"You haven't been bothering him, have you?" I asked her. In response, she hooted and turned black. I assumed that was a good thing, since black was obviously Snape's favourite colour. "Does that mean you're getting along then?"

She hooted again, bobbing up and down on my arm. "Just okay then?" I smiled down at her. "Well at least you're not annoying him anymore."

She gave a short screech as if to say _Oh I beg to differ_ and she suddenly turned baby pink. I sighed as I let her fly over to my desk. "You know, that bothers _me_ too," I pointed out. "Pink doesn't suit you."

If it was possible for owls to look disappointed, Morag certainly did. She turned back to her usual snowy white and stared back at me, hooting softly.

"Much better, thankyou," I said. "Quite becoming I think."

Morag cheered up in an instant and she soared around the room. She slowed when she got to her cage, performed an elegant spin and then flew in the other direction.

"There's no such thing as a catwalk for owls, you know," I said dryly. "Fancy yourself a model, do you?"

She landed on my desk again and began preening her wings.

I shook my head at her, trying not to laugh. "Help me," I muttered. How many other people could claim they had an owl who could be a little _too_ sophisticated at times?

"Is she preening herself _again_?" Snape called from his lab.

"Yes," I called back, as Morag cocked her head, trying to see into the lab across the corridor. She had jumped to attention as soon as she had heard his voice.

"Bloody bird," I heard him mutter.

I walked back into the lab. Snape was now bottling the potion. "Do you think she's tame yet?" I asked.

He raised his head long enough to cast me a dour look. "She's well on the way. It would be an easier job if she was just a regular owl." He sneered as he shook his head.

"Well, she _knows_ she's not a regular owl," I replied.

"_That's_ the problem," he scoffed, still sneering. Wand in his hand, he directed the filled bottles to the open cupboard, before casting a cleaning charm on the cauldron. "Your owl's a snob, Armilla."

I shrugged. "It might wear off. Why do you think she's a snob?" I followed him back out to the sitting room.

"We ran out of her food yesterday," he responded, sitting down on the sofa. "The wizard I bought her from gave me some food he knew she liked. He let me know though, that she could eat other brands of food too because the brand he gave me is one of the best."

"_Morgan's_?"

"Yes, _Morgan's_," he said dryly. "I ordered some more a few days ago because I knew the supply was low, but it still hasn't come." He sneered and folded his arms. "So I got some food from the owlery for her."

I sat down next to him on the sofa, having a feeling what he was about to say.

"Hogwarts doesn't spend all it's funding on _owl_ food," he pointed out, his expression hard, "but the food in the owlery is by no means _cheap_."

"But Morag wouldn't eat it?"

Snape nodded grimly. "She refused to touch it."

"Maybe she's just not used to it?" I offered. "Or she doesn't like trying new things."

Snape smirked. "She's an _owl_, not a person, Armilla." He glanced back towards my bedroom. "Morag is a _pet_!" he called. "By _no_ means is she a primary being."

There was silence. Finally, Morag knew better than to respond.

"So has she eaten?" I asked, feeling worried. Even if my owl was stubborn, I didn't want her to get sick.

"No," he said simply, looking completely unconcerned. "But she will."

"How do you know?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You doubt me? Very well. She will eat what she is given because there will be no other option. When the _Morgan's_ food arrives, she shall not have it."

"That's a bit mean."

"Thankyou," he said dryly. "When Morag demonstrates behaviour appropriate for an owl, she might be offered some of the _Morgan's_ food as a reward. However, on the days she decides that she would rather spend the morning being _pink_, she'll find that she will go for days on the Hogwarts food." He folded his arms as he gazed at me. "I believe _that_ is fair enough. I'm not being hard at all. She has to learn not to be so spoilt."

I nodded. "You're probably right."

He narrowed his eyes. "_Probably_?" he muttered. "So much for a vote of confidence."

I smiled, inwardly hoping that Morag _would_ stop being such a snob and start eating soon.

"Now," he said, sounding very business like. "Did you bring any school work with you?"

"No." Snape had told me that Sundays were to be kept free from study unless absolutely necessary.

He nodded. "Good. I see you're keeping to your end of the deal then. We'll go and visit Mother later. Is there anything you need to do this afternoon?"

I considered him for a moment. "Actually, I was wondering if one of us should write to Father."

Snape's expression darkened. "Why?" he demanded.

"Malfoy asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him."

Snape closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He let out a deep sigh as he opened his eyes and looked back at me. "When did he ask you?"

"Yesterday afternoon."

Snape frowned. "He moved a bit fast, didn't he?"

I refrained from smiling. Hearing Snape remark on dating etiquette was a bit strange.

"He only moved fast because he said that there were…_others_."

Snape smirked. "Got a whole line up of hormonal teenagers, have you?"

I scowled. "It's not _me_ they really want. You know that."

Snape stared at me, his expression now unfathomable. "Don't be so sure," he said dryly.

"I _am_ sure." I looked away. I didn't care what Snape said. The Slytherins had never looked once in my direction before they found out that I was a Snape.

He shook his head. "Well then, how did Mr. Malfoy take your refusal?"

"Not well at first. I don't think he ever considered that I might say no."

"You said no politely, I assume?"

"Of course I did," I answered, feeling annoyed. "I was so polite to him that he couldn't possibly complain that I was rude about it."

"And did he ask you the reason for the rejection?" Snape's voice held a hint of warning to watch my tone with him.

"Yes. He said he thought that Father approved of me dating. I had to tell him that _you_ didn't."

"And he accepted that?"

I shrugged. "He had to. That was all there was to it."

Snape nodded. "Good."

"So, do you think Father should know, in case he gets a letter from one of the Malfoys?"

"I suppose he should," he answered wearily. "I'll write to him about it. Actually, if Malfoy has already reported home, Father may already know by now."

"But he couldn't blame me, could he?" I asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

"I wouldn't worry about it," he responded, shaking his head. "But if you _do _receive any letters in the next couple of days, be cautious about what you open."

I nodded, hoping Father wouldn't be too angry.

"In regards to Hogsmeade," Snape continued, looking very serious. "I don't want you to go next month. Malfoy might have accepted this for now, but I wouldn't put it past him to try something in Hogsmeade. That said, you're not going."

I was surprised not to feel angry about this, or even slightly disappointed. I didn't really feel anything at all except resignation. The next Hogsmeade trip was on Valentine's Day after all. Though my friends would include me if I went, I would have still felt like the third wheel. I would rather stay at school and let them be together.

"Alright," I said quietly.

Snape frowned, narrowing his eyes. "That's it?"

"What's it?"

"No argument from you?" He looked at me suspiciously. "I was expecting a display of the dismal begging skills I was unfortunate enough to see the last time I didn't want you to go."

I shrugged, ignoring his jibe. "I don't want to go that badly this time."

He looked at me closely, his black eyes glittering. "Why not?"

"Like you said…Malfoy won't give up…and it's Valentine's Day."

Snape nodded in understanding, though he was sneering slightly. "Third wheel?"

I nodded.

He rolled his eyes. "I had forgotten about those two."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Nothing will have changed since the last time I was there." I really didn't care.

"Well," he said, standing up. "You'll be busy for that entire weekend anyway and you'll be tired enough without going to Hogsmeade."

"I will?"

"Certainly," he replied. "You're going to stay down here that weekend. You're going to attempt to beat me at duelling." He smirked. "That's why you'll be tired."

I groaned. "I _can't_ beat you at duelling."

"That's the spirit," he scoffed, though I could tell he was amused.

I smiled, as a distant memory suddenly came into my mind.

Snape frowned. "What are you thinking about?"

"The first time I saw you duel."

He narrowed his eyes. "When was that?"

"The duelling club in second year. You were Lockhart's _assistant_."

Now it was Snape's turn to groan. "Don't," he said, his lip curling. "I had blocked that twit out of my mind." He suddenly scowled at me. "You weren't one of his fans were you?"

"No," I said indignantly. "He was an idiot."

"For want of a _better_ word," he muttered.

I smiled. "I know a few of the seventh year girls asked him where he permed his hair."

Snape looked revolted. "His hair is a creation that will never go out of style," he said, sneering. "It will look ridiculous year after year."

I stared at him, trying not to smile. "Did that come from the book I gave you?"

His dark eyes glittered. "Maybe."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Thanks for reading! Please leave a review! Remember that you're all welcome to visit the _Armilla_ forum. Snape and Armilla are there. You can find the link on my profile page.

Quote reference: thankyou to Fred Allen, whose quote I lovingly adapted for Snape's use.


	55. Two of a Kind

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 54

Snape did write to Father on Sunday night about his disapproval of Draco Malfoy asking me out. I didn't see the letter, but my brother told me that he made it perfectly clear to Father that he was not going to allow me to date whilst I was still at school.

I hadn't received anything in the mail from Father and I wasn't sure whether to take that as a good or a bad sign. On Friday night before I went to bed, I asked Snape if Father had replied to his letter.

"No," he said simply, looking up from marking homework from his seventh years Advanced Potions class. "I take it you haven't received anything either?"

I shook my head, shifting slightly in my position on the sofa.

"Well, perhaps no news is good news."

"Would he accept it so easily?" I asked quietly.

"He has no other choice," he replied, his expression darkening. "I reminded him that school related decisions are left with me, and I include your school social life in that."

"Wouldn't he look for a gap though?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Act on a technicality you mean? I've already thought of the possibility that he'll use your summer time with him to have you spend more time with Draco."

"Did you mention that to him?"

He inclined his head. "I did, certainly. I made it clear to him that I will not tolerate it. Any effort on his part to put you together with Draco in the holidays will be undone by _me_ during the school term."

I nodded. I was still worried that the lack of response from Father meant that he had other ideas that he wasn't sharing.

Snape was watching me closely. "I wouldn't worry about it, Armilla. You know that Father generally only writes to you to complain about something or to give you orders. Having no letter from him could mean that he was satisfied with the way you handled the situation, even though you refused Draco. You must have been polite enough to avoid Draco speaking badly of you to Lucius."

"Oh."

Snape looked thoughtful. "Either that, or Draco-" he stopped, sneering slightly.

"What about him?"

Snape pursed his lips. "Or Draco still likes you enough not to complain to his father that you refused him."

I didn't say anything. The subject of me and dating was _not _a favourite of Snape's.

Snape leaned back in his chair. "Speaking of Mr. Malfoy, how has he been treating you this week?"

"I haven't spoken to him," I said honestly. I hadn't seen much of Malfoy at all, and when I had, it was only from a distance in corridors or in the Great Hall. He might have been trying to avoid contact because he was still embarrassed. Though I certainly didn't want Draco Malfoy's affections, I had nearly laughed every time I had seen Pansy Parkinson attempt to get his attention. Malfoy still didn't seem too interested.

Snape nodded. "Good. Hopefully he'll get over it then. Have you told your friends that you aren't going to Hogsmeade?"

"Yes," I answered.

"And how did they take it?"

"They're not happy about it at all, but I expected that."

"They'll get over it," he murmured, looking back at the essay in front of him on the table. "_Wrong_. Abyssinian Shrivelfigs _aren't_ used in Swelling Solutions…that was covered in second year…how did you _ever_ make it into my NEWT class?"

I watched as he underlined a few lines of the essay in red ink and then proceeded to write what I presumed to be a scathing comment next to it. I wondered who the offending student was and whether he or she was going to get a comment inspired from the book I had given Snape.

"Name a potion that an Abyssinian Shrivelfig would be used in, Armilla," he said, suddenly.

"Shrinking Solution."

"Very good. Explain the name of the ingredient." Snape didn't even look up; he wrote the mark at the top of the page and reached for another essay.

"Figs are a staple of Ethiopia, the modern name for Abyssinia."

"And what must you do to it before adding it to a Shrinking Solution?"

"Skin it."

"Name the other ingredients needed."

I thought for a moment. Just my luck to get a sudden quiz on past content just as I was going to bed. "Caterpillar, daisy roots, leech juice and…" What was the other one? "…rat spleen."

"Correct. What colour should the potion be if it has been brewed correctly?"

"Bright green."

Snape nodded, looking up again. "That's all," he said, smirking slightly. "You pass."

"I don't like impromptu tests," I muttered, picking up my school books from the coffee table.

"It's important to be prepared for anything at all times," he responded, returning his gaze to the essay, "not just for exams."

I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut short by a sudden screech from my bedroom.

"Her Majesty calls," said Snape, his lip curling.

Morag had been in a bad mood all week. On Monday night, she had finally decided to nibble at the Hogwarts owl food that Snape had given her, but had made such a disgusted face that I had felt quite sorry for her.

Even after the better quality _Morgan's_ owl food had arrived on Tuesday, Snape had still refused to give it to her. And Morag knew that Snape had her favourite food. She had had numerous tantrums when Snape was around, but they had all been cut short when Snape had repeatedly pointed his wand at her.

At her wit's end, Morag had begrudgingly eaten a tiny amount of the Hogwarts food each day, but still let off screeches of frustration at any given moment. On Tuesday night, she had flown to my arm to seek comfort, perhaps with the hope that I would give her the _Morgan's_ food. Having already promised to oblige my brother and let him handle the situation, I had stroked her, but had not given her anything. Since then, she had been mad at both of us, and refused to let me touch her, or else I would receive a nip.

"I don't know what to do for her anymore," I said, walking to my bedroom with my books.

"Do nothing," he replied. "She has to learn."

I entered my room and gasped in horror. In a bad temper, Morag had practically emptied her cage all over the floor. There were droppings here and there and owl food scattered all around my bed. Thankfully, Morag had guessed that it would be a step too far to place her droppings _on_ my bed. There were even multi-coloured feathers floating around the room. Morag was sitting on top of the armoire, flapping her wings and hooting shrilly.

"Morag," I moaned. "You won't be getting the food you want_ now_. _I _wouldn't give it to you after _this_."

She kept hooting, clearly intent on having it out with me.

I moved further into the room, having to tiptoe so I wouldn't step on food or droppings.

"Be quiet, you're not getting anything," I snapped at her.

She screeched louder and starting hopping about, turning from white to black to grey to green…I was dizzy just watching her.

"Morag, I'm _warning_ you," I said coldly.

Louder still, she stretched out her growing claws and did her best to intimidate me, obviously wanting to see how far she could push me.

Undeterred, I reached into my robes and pulled out my wand. Pointing it directly at her, I fixed her with a determined expression to match her own.

She stopped at once. Her eyes bulged at the sight of my wand and let out a soft hoot before returning to her usual size and colour.

"What on _earth_ is going on in there?" I heard Snape's angry voice call. I heard his footsteps come down the hallway.

"Armilla, I-" he stopped short in the doorway, looking livid as he took in his surroundings. It _was_ an unusual sight. I was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by owl food, droppings and coloured floating feathers, pointing my wand at my owl, who was now shaking slightly on top of the armoire.

"_What _the-" Snape became speechless as he watched a pink feather land on his arm. He pursed his lips as he picked it off as if it was some sort of unsightly insect.

I lowered my wand and looked back at Morag. She was still shaking, her eyes flitting from me to Snape and back again.

"Armilla," Snape began, once he had found his voice again. His voice was laced with fury. "It would appear that the creature currently sitting atop your armoire has made a request to be reprimanded."

I said nothing. I kept watching Morag's shaking form. She was so upset. I knew I should have been just as furious with her as Snape was for making such a mess in my bedroom, but underneath, I still felt sorry for her.

"I don't think you'll be tasting the food you crave for a long time," Snape snapped, glaring at Morag.

Morag wouldn't look back at him. I knew she was ashamed; it wasn't like her to do such a thing.

"If she can't treat this room with respect, Armilla, then she shall not stay in here." Snape looked back at me, scowling, as if daring me to argue about it.

I didn't bother arguing; I knew he wouldn't bend, not after Morag had made such a display. She had tested his patience to its limit.

Snape took out his wand and muttered a few spells. Within seconds, the floor was clean once more and there wasn't a floating feather in sight.

"Put her in her cage and take her out to the sitting room," he instructed, putting his wand away. He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. "I will not be beaten by an _owl_," I heard him mutter as he returned to his marking.

o o o o o o o o o

My friends hadn't given up on trying to find ways to let me join them in Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day. Ever since I'd told them that Snape wouldn't allow it this time, they'd been coming up with cases for me to use to try to convince him. I told them that I was not bothered that I wasn't going, but I didn't mention feeling like a third wheel. That wasn't fair, especially considering that both of them always went to the trouble of including me. I was actually happy to let them have Valentine's Day to themselves.

Neither of them would buy that I was indifferent about not going. They both thought that I was disappointed and was covering it up, which I really wasn't. Snape's decision turned them against Draco Malfoy even more and they spent a lot of time in the common room badmouthing him and blaming him for me missing what was expected to be a great day in Hogsmeade.

"But you'll be lonely here all by yourself," Lisa pointed out, after I told her for the umpteenth time that I wasn't worried that I wasn't going.

"No, I won't," I answered. "You won't see me for the entire weekend anyway. I'm going down to the dungeons on Friday like normal, but I'm staying down there for the weekend."

Lisa didn't look convinced. "But, what will you _do_ all weekend?"

I grinned. "Duel."

Terry sniggered. "Duel?"

"Yes, _duel_. Is that a foreign word for you?"

"Are you a match for Snape? Won't he _flatten_ you?"

I glared at him. "Perhaps, Mr. Boot. But since he teaches me to duel, I'm pretty much learning _his_ style of duelling, which you know is a force to be reckoned with. So you had better watch out or _I_ may flatten _you_." I pointed my wand at him, doing my best _don't even think about crossing me_ expression. Maybe Snape _was_ rubbing off on me after all…

Terry opened his mouth, and then closed it again in defeat.

"I'll admit that you're probably the best dueller of the three of us, Mill," said Lisa, smirking at Terry's lost expression, "but you don't really _beat_ Snape at duelling do you? How can you?"

"I'm not an idiot," I said, laughing. "I don't imagine for a second that I can beat him."

"So how can you possibly duel with him and not get dozens of injuries?" Terry looked aghast.

"I do get injuries," I admitted. "I certainly did in the beginning, but I improved. For Snape duelling is like second nature, and I don't think I'll be a match for him until it's like that for me too."

Terry grinned. "He might let you beat him at duelling to make up for not letting you go to Hogsmeade."

I snorted. "What kind of fantasy land do you live in?"

o o o o o o o o o o

The last couple of weeks of January flew by at an alarming rate and before I knew it, it was nearly mid-February. It seemed that there was never a spare moment, except for the Sunday afternoons Snape had ordered me to keep free. But even then, we rarely sat around talking for the entire afternoon. We often stayed in Dumbledore's office for a couple of hours, talking to Mother. And when we did return to the dungeons, Snape would often utilise the time by practising duelling with me (which we had both come to view as a leisurely practice because we enjoyed it so much).

Sometimes Snape would teach me new healing charms for the more powerful curses like the one Father had been lovely enough to give me on my last night at his house. I had more preparation to do if I was going to survive a lengthier period at Father's house during the summer. The thought of staying for more than a week at Father's house was enough to put me off my food. I doubted that Rougier, the dim-witted hag in disguise as a governess, would show her face again at Snape Manor, even if Father invited her back.

But summer was a long way away. Every time Father's face appeared in my mind, I pushed it back lightning fast and mentally set fire to it. Quite refreshing really.

Morag had gotten used to the fact that the _Morgan's_ food was now a privilege. After the drama when she had messed up my bedroom and was subsequently banished to the sitting room, she had learned to control her temper very quickly. Only a couple of nights before, Snape had finally agreed to let Morag back into my room once more. He constantly reminded Morag that it was a _trial_ and any undue outbursts on her part would result in permanent banishment to the corner of the sitting room. Happy to be back in my room again, she hadn't dared to test me again for fear that I would pull my wand out.

I saw very little of Draco Malfoy, and when our paths did cross, we both muttered a polite hello and went on our way. Snape regularly asked for updates on how often I saw the boy, and was more than pleased that Malfoy seemed to have retreated.

I still had not received word from Father, and nor had Snape. Snape did not seem concerned about it at all, and I took his advice and didn't bother myself worrying about it either. If Father wanted to say something, then he would write. He always did.

Classes were getting busier and teachers were piling on homework as if their lives depended on it. It was agreed upon by most of the fifth years that Snape was one of the worst offenders in this case. He thought nothing of giving us hours and hours worth of homework. It was great to be able to spend Tuesday evenings with him though, going over everything I did because Snape had made it his mission that I did not miss a single thing.

"Harry told us that we might do the Patronus Charm soon," said Terry, as we made our way down to the dungeons for Potions on Friday after break. "Have you done patronuses yet, Mill?"

"Severus mentioned it in passing ages ago," I replied, "but he didn't teach me how to do it because he thought that it was unlikely that I'd run into a Dementor at Father's house."

Lisa shivered. "Urgh, imagine that. A Dementor and your father in the same room."

"Not a nice thought," I agreed, trying to rid my mind of the imagery.

We joined the end of the line outside Snape's classroom. Everyone was chatting about the trip to Hogsmeade on the following day.

"No, I'm _not_ going to the Shrieking Shack again," I heard Ernie Macmillan say to Hannah Abbott, who was looking quite put out.

"Nah, I don't think Zonko's is so good anymore," Anthony Goldstein said to Mandy Brocklehurst. "Not after seeing the stuff the Weasley twins are selling."

I had seen the Weasley twins numerous times in passing over the last few weeks. Every time we had made eye contact, they had either winked or smiled at me. I wished I could get the two of them alone to ask what was with the winking.

I cleared my head of the Weasley twins and tuned in to what my friends were saying about patronuses.

"I think mine will be a tiger," Terry announced.

Lisa laughed. "Sure, it will."

"What do you think_ your_ Patronus will be?" I asked her.

"A cat," she said promptly. "Hopefully a ginger cat."

"Tigers are big cats," Terry pointed out. "We'd both have cats, Lis."

Lisa smiled back at him. "That would be lovely."

"What are you two talking about, Lovebirds?"

We turned around to see Zacharias Smith join the line. I didn't like Smith. His arrogance could rival Malfoy's.

"Patronuses," Terry answered. "We're just guessing what we think ours will be."

Smith glared at Terry and then looked pointedly at me. "You know you're not supposed to talk about…_you know what_ in front of _her_." He gestured towards me with a wave of his arm.

"Well, she _does_ know about it," Lisa retorted, glaring back at him.

"Well, we don't know what side she's on, do we?" he hissed.

"Yes, we _do_," said Terry, firmly.

Smith rolled his eyes. "She's Snape's sister, you idiot. She's probably just as wily as he is. She'd easily fool you to get inside information if it serves her purpose."

"You seem to have this all figured out, Smith," I drawled. "Awfully clever, aren't we?"

He sneered. "You've probably got your friends right where you want them. You'll use them to get what you want."

I scoffed. "And since you know me_ so_ well, would you care to enlighten me as to exactly what it _is_ that I want?"

"I don't know," he snapped, looking thoroughly irritated. "But I know we can't trust you, no matter what Fred and George Weasley say."

I sighed. "Smith," I said, giving the idiot a pitying look, "You've got the brain of a four-year-old, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it." A voice inside me said _hurrah!_ Well, so much for not liking it when Snape used his new book to insult students. He shouldn't have let me read it the other night.

Smith opened his mouth to retort, but at that moment the classroom door opened and Snape appeared. The line of students became silent within seconds and Snape nodded at us to enter.

The Potions lesson was for theory work on a Friday, and we were given a variety of roots, which we had to name and write the specific properties and uses for. I found it fairly easy, considering that I had covered this content with Snape the week before.

Smith, however, was still agitated about what had happened outside. He didn't dare show me his anger by shooting me furious glances every now and then, just in case Snape happened to see. Instead, he was pressing his quill so hard into his parchment that anyone who saw him could be with no doubt that he was in a bad mood.

Just as I was wondering about the state of his poor parchment, I heard a tearing noise and looked up to see Smith mutter an oath as he examined the rip in his parchment. Unfortunately for him, Snape wasn't too far behind him when it happened.

"As difficult as you may find my lessons, Smith," he said waspishly, "I will not tolerate such language in my classroom, no matter how quietly you use it. Twenty points from Hufflepuff."

Wisely, Smith said nothing. He took out his wand to repair his parchment. Snape looked on, his lip curling.

"So irritated you're tearing your parchment now?" He smirked. "What's on your mind, Smith? If you'll forgive the overstatement."

It was a sign of how much many people in the class hated Smith, because quite a few chortles could be heard around the room. They subsided as soon as Snape's withering glare swept the room. I kept looking down at my work. If I looked at my brother right now I would shake my head at him. That was another insult from the book I had given him. Well, if it had to be used on someone in my Potions class, Smith was the best person. At least everyone (save Smith) had enjoyed it.

"Nothing worth mentioning, sir."

Snape sneered. "I thought so. If I see such a display again it will be detention. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Snape swept away, his robes billowing behind him. He went to bully a couple of the other Hufflepuffs instead, who seemed to have become confused with labelling the roots they had been given.

"You know," Terry whispered to me, "You and your brother seem to have a great range of witty remarks…quite insulting too. Do you compare notes or something?"

I looked up long enough to cast him a fleeting smile. "Never you mind," I muttered.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

On Saturday morning I awoke to the sound of soft hooting from Morag's cage. Sitting up, I watched as she went about tidying her own cage.

"Well, this is new," I said, getting out of bed to watch.

Morag blinked up at me, hooting once more before returning to her work.

I went back over to my bed and picked up my wand from the bedside table. I returned to the cage and pointed my wand at the droppings. "_Evanesco_." The droppings vanished and Morag stopped to give me an appreciative hoot.

"You're welcome," I replied, stroking her feathers.

I showered and dressed and joined my brother in the sitting room for breakfast.

"Morag was cleaning her cage this morning," I told him, reaching for some toast.

Snape placed his newspaper aside and picked up his coffee. "Will wonders never cease?" he said dryly.

"Does that mean she can have something nice to eat?"

He shook his head. "Not until she makes a habit of it."

"At least she's trying," I said quietly.

"She has _some_ merit," he acknowledged, sneering slightly. "I would say that she's easier to train than Docky."

I smiled. I missed Docky. He was a much nicer house elf than Jiffy, my father's wretched house elf. "Maybe Docky is too old to train."

"No. Docky was hard to train when he was younger, according to Mother."

"What does he do all day long by himself anyway?"

Snape cast me a dour look. "It's not something I like to think about, Armilla. But I would guess that when he's not cleaning or tending to the garden, which _should_ take up most of his time considering the size of the house, he's probably bouncing off the walls."

I smiled. Snape was probably right. But even so, I looked forward to seeing Docky again. It was a shame that I couldn't tell my father that I would rather spend time with Snape's house elf over_ him_.

After breakfast, Snape used magic to push the furniture against the walls so we had enough room to duel properly.

For about fifteen minutes, we just practiced duelling, and Snape kept making it harder and harder. He had taught me a few curses that could go straight through common shield charms and so I had to cast the more complicated shield charms that were in the books Snape had given me to study ages ago.

I was concentrating so hard on not allowing Snape's hexes to penetrate my shield charms that I wasn't able to fire anything back at him.

"That will do," he announced finally, lowering his wand.

I nodded, grateful that I hadn't allowed myself to get injured.

"I wasn't relenting, you know," he said, sitting down on the sofa, which had been pushed against the wall. "You're definitely improving."

I joined him on the sofa, wand still in hand. Snape conjured up two glasses of water.

"You look disappointed," he commented, handing me a glass. "You didn't get injured. You've mastered those shield charms I taught you."

"No," I said, after taking a drink. "But I had to concentrate so hard on producing those shields that I wasn't able to even attempt disarming you or firing anything back. If you were the enemy, you would have just waited until I got tired and the charm failed."

Snape inclined his head. "Certainly, which brings us to what we will be practising this weekend." He gave me a mysterious smile. "Ever thought of using your Occlumency skills to help you duel?"

I stared at him. "Not really. I thought using Legilimency would be more effective."

"Oh it _is_, I assure you," he said, nodding. "It is indeed an advantage to look into your opponent's mind to see what hex is going to be cast before it happens."

I would have bet anything that Snape always used Legilimency on other people when he duelled.

"Now, as far as I know," he continued, watching me closely, "_you_ use some sort of mental shield when you occlude."

I nodded. I still liked the use the steel arm imagery to stop invaders and push worrying thoughts away.

"When you use that mental shield, what are its boundaries?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, I just see it inside my head…that's sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

He shook his head. "Not at all; you know it works effectively. I'm not saying that you are to use proper Occlumency to defend yourself in duelling. That wouldn't make sense since you can't fight off hexes with a mind shield."

"So how will Occlumency skills help me?"

Snape considered me for a moment, his black eyes glittering. "The current shield you use is in your head, protecting only your mind. The difficult part has already been mastered – you have adopted an effective shield. The next challenge is for you to experiment with it so it may offer protection for more than your mind."

"So, change it you mean so that it protects my entire body?" That was going to take a lot of power…and energy.

He nodded. "Push the shield from your mind far enough so that you can envision it in front of yourself. The trick will be to maintain such a large shield, and duel at the same time."

I shook my head. "Duel at the same time? But I'll use up so much energy and concentration just maintaining the shield."

Snape sneered. "Dear, dear Armilla. Do you remember when I first starting teaching you Occlumency?"

"Very well," I said dryly.

"Well then, do you remember how much energy and concentration you used up back then?"

I nodded.

"Is it the same now?"

"No," I admitted. I had gotten so used to occluding that I barely noticed when I did it now.

"You became so accustomed to occluding," he went on, "that soon you were able to do all sorts of things and occlude at the same time. You used to talk to_ me_ and occlude at the same time." He frowned slightly. "I'm glad we've broken _that_ habit."

"So, you think I can extend the shield and maintain it…and duel at the same time?"

"No," he said curtly. "I don't _think_ you can. I _know_ you can. I wouldn't suggest you attempt such a complex piece of magic if I didn't think you possessed the skill or power. Even if I taught Defence Against the Dark Arts, there would be very few NEWT level students I would teach this to."

I stared at him for a moment. "How do you know about that sort of shield?" I asked quietly.

He considered me for a moment. "I experimented," he said finally.

"You made it up?" I was impressed. That wasn't simple magic.

He nodded. "I was curious as to how far mental shields can be pushed."

"If I manage to maintain this shield," I said slowly. "Will it repel any sort of hex?"

"Well, that would depend on the type of hex and the force with which it is cast. But it is up to you to experiment with your own shield and alter it if need be."

"Design myself a shield with many special features?" I asked, smiling.

Snape returned the smile. "Start off simply at first, but once you get the hang of it you can then make small changes and try different things. I won't give you the most complicated hexes to deal with at first. I'll keep it simple so you can at least adjust to envisioning the shield in front of you."

I thought of the steel arm I used in my mind for Occlumency. I didn't think that would do. It was just an arm. I would need more than that. I would need a steel _wall_.

"And keep in mind," he continued, "that you'll constantly have that shield in front of you when you are duelling. It'll have to be aesthetically pleasing to you. Don't imagine anything too grotesque or complicated because it might put you off. It's possible to create something that's simple _and_ powerful."

"Alright," I said, thinking of a plain steel wall…a very, _very_ thick one.

"Stand up then," said Snape, getting up.

We took the positions we had taken before, facing each other.

"Now, imagine the shield in your mind…now push it far enough so that it's outside your body. Let it get bigger and surround you, but don't let it go."

I followed his instructions, and before long I was able to imagine the wall around me. It certainly helped that the imagery part was no longer a challenge since I had conquered when I had learnt Occlumency.

"Is it there?" Snape asked.

I nodded, concentrating on the image.

"Alright then. I'm going to throw a simple hex. If your charm is successful, then it will not get through." He raised his wand. "_Impedimenta_!"

A spark flew from his wand and came right at me. I concentrated hard on the shield in front of me. _It can't come in. It won't get past the wall._

Nothing happened.

A moment later, I let the shield down and stared curiously at my brother. "What happened?" I asked.

"What happened?" he scoffed. "It _worked_, that's what happened."

I shook my head. "Couldn't have," I muttered. I didn't think that I would manage it on my first attempt.

"Have more faith in yourself, Armilla," said Snape dryly. "It would make the task of teaching you much easier."

I threw him a half-hearted glare, which was returned with a look of indifference.

"I hope you haven't put that shield down," he said, raising his wand again. "You never know when I might attack. _Rictusempra_!" A silver light came shooting towards me.

I nearly failed that time. Thank God I got the shield up before the tickling charm hit me. Snape kept firing hex after hex for a full ten minutes. He was really putting me to the test as I had to concentrate on nothing but maintaining the shield.

"Tired?" he asked, finally lowering his wand.

"A little," I admitted, not lowering the shield. I didn't trust him when it came to duelling – he'd lower his wand with the pretence of stopping and then suddenly attack. Sure enough, a split second later another hex came my way – and I was ready for it.

"_Tarantallegra_!"

The hex came to nothing and Snape lowered his wand again.

"Ah, I see you anticipated me. Very good."

I watched him cautiously, awaiting another sudden attack.

However, Snape sat down on the sofa again and gestured for me to join him. "Come…I promise I won't hex you," he added, when I gave him a sceptical look.

"With practice you'll conquer it sooner than you think," he said, putting his own wand away. "It's very demanding magic. We'll do it slowly, otherwise you'll exhaust your powers and be off school for a week…and I won't allow _that_."

"Do you use it every time you duel?" I asked. Snape seemed capable of such powerful and complicated magic.

"Generally," he said.

"Do many people know about it?"

He shook his head. "No," he admitted. "I've experimented with magic a lot over the years, but I've generally not shared the success stories."

"It might be like giving away your advantage," I said thoughtfully.

He inclined his head. "Exactly. I see we're on the same wavelength." He gave me a significant look. "So you understand then that you're not to tell anyone about it?"

I nodded.

"It's not as if many other students could attempt it anyway," he went on. "Only those with more power than the average witch or wizard. You need even more power than what is required to cast a successful Patronus."

"So I could cast a Patronus?" I asked, thinking about my friends learning the same thing with Harry.

"Of course you could. I doubt you'll be running into a Dementor, but it would probably be useful to teach you to cast one."

"Could you?" I asked. I was very interested in what my Patronus would look like.

"Well, it'll be easy for you to cast it while there are no Dementors around, but I'll give you the spell." He stood up again and I followed him over to one end of the room.

"You say _Expecto Patronum_." He showed me the correct wand movement. "Alright then, have a go. It shouldn't be too hard, considering that there's no emotion sucking creature about to rob you of happiness."

Raising my wand, I waved it in the way Snape had just shown me. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

Something silvery shot out of my wand across the room. It wasn't extremely clear, considering it was my first attempt, but I could still identify the animal.

"It's a _horse_," I said. "I never thought that I'd have a horse." It seemed a bit small for a horse though.

Snape smiled. "No," he said, looking thoroughly amused. "It's actually a_ pony_."

I looked back at him indignantly. That would be right. I couldn't get a proper _horse_. I wasn't tall enough apparently.

"My own Patronus is mocking me," I muttered, watching the pony, which had just broken into a trot.

Snape kept smiling, thinking this revelation was terribly amusing.

"It's not funny," I said. "Maybe I did it wrong. If I cast it again it might come out as a proper horse."

"No," he said, smirking. "It won't become a horse. The pony is yours."

I looked back at the pony. Though small, it was quite lovely, really.

"What's your Patronus then?" I asked suddenly. "Is my pony bigger than _your_ animal?"

Snape folded his arms, sneering. "Of course not."

"Oh." Now I was curious about what Snape's animal was. "Can I see it?" I asked.

"I suppose so." He took his wand out again. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A silver shape shot out of his wand at lightning speed. It was indeed much bigger than my animal, but that was not what shocked me.

"A _horse_?"

"A horse," he said simply.

We watched as the huge horse galloped around the room. My Patronus, though it had faded slightly now, jumped out of the way of the bigger horse.

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

"_Yours_ was in the way," he said dryly.

"We've pretty much got the same Patronus." I didn't know why I was so surprised.

"Indeed." Snape kept his eye on his Patronus. "Except yours is a _pony_."

I folded my arms. "It's about quality."

"Is it now?"

We watched as Snape's horse reached my pony again. This time, instead of jumping out of the way, my pony ran right through the horse and succeeded in making it fade a great deal.

"Yes it is," I answered, looking up at my brother, who now looked quite put out at the sight of his faded horse.

"Leave my horse alone!" he demanded, as my pony turned around and ran through it again.

"It's not _my_ fault," I said, laughing.

Snape pursed his lips, raised his wand and renewed his Patronus. The old one vanished and the new one ran straight at my pony, which wisely scampered off in the other direction.

And Snape nodded in satisfaction.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Reviews are always welcome and very much appreciated.

New picture! If you follow the link to the Armilla Yahoo Group on my profile page, you'll see a new picture of Armilla in her dress robes from Chapter 43, _Portrait of a Lady_. Let me know what you think! The other pictures (Armilla's portrait, and Snape and Armilla from Chapter 40) can still be accessed on the site by members.


	56. Love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 55

The thought that Snape and I practically shared the same Patronus stayed in my mind all afternoon. I wasn't offended by it or anything. I just found it interesting because we had led very different lives and grown up in very different homes.

But the Patronus was unique to the wizard or witch, perhaps what suited his or her disposition. Maybe underneath, Snape and I were more alike than I realised. We both shared a passion for sarcasm. We were both scornful of dim-witted people and held very little patience for them. In fact, neither of us could boast that patience was our redeeming quality. Snape was incredibly stubborn…I used to be before I started giving in to _his_ stubbornness, and we both enjoyed our own company more than socialising.

As far as interests went, Snape preferred Potions and studying the Dark Arts, while I preferred Charms. Charms were used in Potions and the Dark Arts anyway. Though we liked to focus on specific things, we both liked to experiment and be innovative in making magic. I had several books on experimenting with charms, and now I knew that Snape was well and truly old-hand at experimenting.

And now duelling. The more I duelled with Snape, the more I enjoyed it. It was mentally draining as it required the utmost concentration. When I duelled with my brother, it seemed like I had to reach into the very depths of my being to find magic that would conquer the things he taught me. And just when I thought I could reach no further, small bursts of magic would spill through me like disturbed ant nests. Sometimes I thought that if it hadn't been for these lessons, I would never have known such magic existed inside me.

But maybe that was what it was like to be a Snape. Now that I had gotten to know Snape, I was accustomed to him having expectations of me that only _he_ had confidence in. I had mastered some of the things that he had taught me in unusually small amounts of time - and generally I hadn't expected to. There seemed to be endless possibilities when it came to Snape's magic, and I had come to the point where I couldn't be surprised at some of the complex spells he knew. The layers of magic Snape possessed could have easily outstripped the layers of his mind, which _was_ saying something.

I didn't dare to think that I possessed the same level of magical ability as my brother. But the expectations he seemed to have in what I could conquer did make me think that perhaps I possessed more ability than I thought. I believed Snape had dealt with so many emotional episodes as a child that he had accidentally created wild magic and had realised early that he possessed more magic than he thought. Maybe he had seen the potential in me. I hadn't created any wild magic and my emotional experiences were nothing to his, but it was a possibility that Snape recognised something in me that he had previously seen in himself.

Perhaps that was why he hadn't seemed surprised with the revelation that my Patronus was a pony. It could have confirmed for him that he was right in thinking that we were more alike than anyone else thought.

Up until lunchtime, we had practised the new Occlumency-inspired shield. As expected, maintaining the charm had required all my concentration and I had felt a sense of victory that most of Snape's hexes hadn't penetrated the steel wall I had created. I knew that I had a long way to go. I had to become so accustomed to the steel wall that I would be able to mentally keep it up whilst performing other magic. At the moment, I was just stopping the majority of the hexes that Snape was firing at me. If he had been a real opponent in a real duel, I wouldn't have been able to disarm up him and keep the shield up. That was what I had to work towards. Perhaps after that, I could work on back-up shields if the steel wall failed…that would require a level of magic I was not sure I possessed.

After lunch, Snape decided that I had to spend a few hours doing something that was not so mentally draining, so I had to help him with his potion making in his lab.

"And I'll only give you the ingredients that you don't mind cutting up," he added, looking over his shoulder at me as I followed him into the small lab/office.

I sat down at the workbench in the middle of the room, watching Snape magically instruct certain ingredients to leave the cupboard and move to the bench. Once satisfied that everything was in order to begin, he sat down, a slight smirk on his face. It was the same smirk I had seen him wear a lot lately whenever he found a quote he particularly liked in the insults book I gave him, the most recent favourite being _He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own._

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing really," he said, pulling a tray of beetles towards him and starting to grind them. "I was just thinking about your pony."

I glared at him. "You mean the pony that ran through your horse?"

He looked up long enough from grinding the beetles to glare at me. "That's the one," he said smoothly. "The one that made your pony run away."

"It wouldn't be as easy to cast if there was a Dementor around would it?"

"Certainly not. You had an easier time casting it earlier because there was no foul creature around fiddling with your emotions. Pass me that bowl, please."

"So when there really _is_ a Dementor, the happy memory becomes the focus to perform a successful Patronus?" I asked, passing him the small bowl near me.

"That's correct. Just like when you construct a mental shield to focus on when you occlude, where Dementors are concerned, you focus on a happy memory powerful enough to cast a Patronus. That, of course, is what makes the charm so difficult. It is a very complicated thing to do. Under a Dementor attack, it is certainly a challenge for the mind to repel the dementor, select a happy memory and find the magical energy to cast the Patronus."

I looked up from the roots I was shredding. "I never thought I'd say this, but I wish I could see a Dementor, just so I would know if I _could_ cast a proper Patronus."

"I daresay you could," he answered dryly, sparing me a brief sneering glance. "Your experience with Occlumency has taught you how to block out other powers and focus on something inside yourself. Your focus with a Patronus charm would be to choose a memory powerful enough to be successful."

That got me thinking. I had lots of happy memories, most of them from long ago with Merle. But I wasn't sure if they were powerful enough. I tried to think of a time when I had experienced a sudden burst of happiness, happiness so rare that it could only be experienced a few times throughout one's life. Those were more powerful than anything else.

_"All this happened years ago," I said. "Lucia would have to be fifteen years old by now. Is there anyway you would be able to identify Lucia?"_

_"Oh yes," she said. "When I died, something I had that was very precious was passed to my daughter. Lucia would have a silver bracelet on her left wrist, with a silver pendent with an emerald on it. That bracelet could have prolonged my life, but my daughter was dying. I made the decision to die myself so my daughter could wear the bracelet and have the chance to live. If only I could be sure that she is okay…"_

_I held up my left wrist with the bracelet for the woman to see. Her face paled._

_"I'm okay," I whispered, my eyes watering. "I'm so glad I've found you, Mother."_

That moment months ago when I had realised that Hazel Merrigan was my mother was still so clear in my mind. It was something I could never forget. I _had_ felt a burst of happiness at the time. The excitement of the situation had been overwhelming.

But I had been violently sick that night when I had been pulled out of my excitement by the thought that even though I had found my mother, she was _dead_. And I had found out that my father was a Death Father. I had sobbed in the bathroom for ages. That burst of happiness had lost its power because whenever I thought of it, I was reminded that my mother wasn't alive and that my father wasn't a desirable acquaintance. Of course, at the time, I hadn't known that my father was even alive. I smiled to myself as I remembered that Snape had been really annoyed at me that night because I had spent too long in the bathroom. He probably thought back then that my tears were for Merle, not my mother. He hadn't known then…

I continued shredding roots as Snape got up to select a cauldron. My mind shifted to another memory.

_"I did not fight for custody of you to just to spite my father. Oh, yes, I did dearly want to take that away from him. I also did it to protect you from being at the hands of such a loathsome fool. I did doubt my abilities in being your guardian, which is why it would seem I did not want custody of you in the first place. But if Father was not here and I was given the option today of giving you to someone else…" Snape paused, looking down his hooked nose at me._

_I bit my lip harder._

_"I would not," he said. "And for that reason, Armilla," he said, his voice harsh once again, "you are never, ever to imply again that you are a burden. I do not wish to be rid of you and that fact alone contradicts the whole notion of burden. Is that clear enough for you?" _

That was one of the most powerful memories I possessed. At that stage, I had been very insecure about my place in Snape's life, and that week especially I had been prone to episodes of depression. I was in over my head in everything – having Snape as a brother, the tension building up before my holiday visit at Father's, the memory of Shar's attack, having my mother's spirit occupy a ring, and of course, Merle's death. That week especially had been one of the most emotional of my life. When Snape had said that he would not give me up, I _had_ felt a burst of happiness through my nerves. I hadn't shown my happiness to my brother. Instead, he had dismissed me and I had fled up to my dorm to cry again. He had let me know that I had secured a place in his life, but I felt that the memory again lost power when I thought of how nervous and vulnerable I had been at the time.

"Here are some ginger roots," said Snape, bringing me out of my reverie. "I need them for a Wit-Sharpening Potion, so what will you need to do with them?"

"Chop them," I answered, placing the shredded roots in another dish and taking the ginger roots from him.

"Very good."

We fell into silence once more, each of us content to work that way, and comfortable in the presence of the other. Before long, my mind drifted back to the night after Snape had told me I wasn't a burden. At the Merrigan Estate, I had had a nightmare in which Snape had told me to get out and Shar had been about to attack me again. I had seen a gentle, albeit still sarcastic side to Snape.

_He made no move to leave._

_"Close your eyes," he instructed._

_I closed my eyes, and my mind welcomed the darkness. I felt Snape take hold of my right hand. He started reciting a charm softly under his breath, the charm sounding slightly melodic. I felt my body relaxing, welcoming whatever charm Snape was performing. As sleep started to overtake me, I let my last tear fall. Too tired, I didn't bother brushing it away. But it didn't matter; my brother's warm hand wiped it away for me._

I vaguely remembered Snape wiping away that tear, but to this day I viewed it as a turning point in our relationship. I had felt so secure with him. I had needed him and he had been there. I was sure that memory contained a sense of happiness so powerful that it could easily make a Patronus strong enough to repel a Dementor.

My thoughts were interrupted once more by a loud hoot out in the sitting room. I knew it wasn't Morag, as she was napping in my bedroom. I had recently discovered that owls could snore when I had walked into my bedroom to find Morag with her beak wide open, and a deep buzzing noise coming from her. I had laughed at the time, but Snape had decided that it was something new Morag was doing to annoy him. He thought snoring was very ill-mannered and undignified.

Snape got up to receive the owl, which had stayed out in the sitting room. Snape had his lab charmed so that owls couldn't enter. It wasn't because of Morag (thought he often told her that), it was just in case an owl flew into it and knocked over hazardous potions. On his way back, Snape paused outside my bedroom door.

"Morag's _snoring_ again," he said, his lip curling.

"You know, it could be from her change in diet. Maybe it's not agreeing with her and it's causing her to snore."

Snape shook his head at me as he came back into the room. "Nice try. But I don't buy it."

He sat down next to me again, opening the letter he had taken from the owl. I continued chopping the ginger roots.

"Well," he said sneering, looking up from the letter a moment later. "It would seem that Father is satisfied with your school marks, and my supervision of your study."

"Did you give him my marks?"

"I did," he replied, folding the letter again. "Father wants a monthly update on your marks." He now wore a most unpleasant expression as he stared at the stored potions in the open cupboard, as if he desired nothing more than to slip the most gruesome one to Father. "Anyway," he continued, looking back at me, "it appears that he was pleased with your marks from January…as was I."

I nodded, feeling relieved that Father could find no excuse to send me a hex. "Did he mention Malfoy at all?"

Snape shook his head. "No, he has gone very quiet on that front."

"That's worse."

Snape sighed. "He may not want to stir things up with us at the moment, especially with your exams coming up. Perhaps he doesn't approve of you spending time with Draco Malfoy when you could be studying."

I looked at him thoughtfully. He made an interesting point. "So, do you think he'll wait until after the exams then?"

"He might," he responded, inclining his head. "If he does, we'll deal with it then. There's absolutely no point in worrying about it now. You have other things to think about."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

We spent some more time late in the afternoon working on the shield charm again. Over and over again, Snape fired hex after hex at my steel wall. He didn't suggest that I try anything else except maintain it. I didn't think I would be up to firing a hex at the same time for awhile yet. After a day of more duelling and strict concentration than I was used to, I was exhausted by the time dinner came. There was an incident where my shield faltered and I ended up with a numb right hand. Snape simply fixed it with a wave of his wand, saying nothing about my concentration waning. Not long after, he announced that we had finished and I was thankful.

Just as we were finishing dinner, another owl came swooping in and landed on the table with a thump. Snape cast the owl a derisive look and then poured himself a glass of wine. He probably needed it.

I recognised the huge tawny owl straightaway. He held out his leg, looking up at me expectantly.

"Hello Howard," I murmured, as I untied the two bulky parcels attached to his leg.

Snape paused just as he was about to take a drink. "_Howard_?" he repeated, narrowing his eyes at the owl.

"Howard Horatio, actually," I replied, enjoying Snape's disbelieving look.

He said nothing, choosing instead to drink his wine.

Even though I had recognised the owl, I still took out my wand and cast a few spells to determine if it was safe. Snape had taught me a few mail security spells. He nodded in approval after I had cast them.

"To whom does the owl belong?"

"Terry," I answered, carefully unwrapping the first package. Inside was a packet of eucalyptus lollies, a box of chocolate stars, and a short note from both Terry and Lisa telling me to enjoy them.

"They're from Terry and Lisa," I said, putting the note down. Snape was glaring at the box of chocolate stars.

"Are they trying to be impertinent?" he asked, frowning.

I shook my head. "Not at all. They don't know that you don't like them. I only just finished the ones Dumbledore gave to you at Christmas and they know I really liked them."

Snape leaned back in his chair with his arms folded. "You really liked them?" he repeated.

I nodded.

"The chocolate _stars_?"

"Yes."

He shook his head at me, as if I had just admitted to something terrible.

I opened the second package, wondering why Terry and Lisa had wrapped two packages instead of including everything in the one. Inside was dark blue box. Intrigued, I pulled of the silver ribbon holding it closed and took of the lid.

Inside was the quill I had always wanted. A _Lefties _Quill! Lefties quills were the best you could buy for left-handed people, as the magic inside them controlled the ink-flow and made the ink dry super fast so the left hand wouldn't be forever smudging it. I had had many quills for left-handed people over the years, but I had never had a _Lefties_ quill. I had been using a regular quill for ages because my last left-handed quill had worn out. I had to constantly stop and charm the ink smudges away. It was so nice of Terry and Lisa to get me such a nice gift.

"You needed a _Lefties_ quill, did you?" Snape asked, examining the quill.

"I've always wanted one," I said happily, gazing at the quill. I looked back at the packaging. "They didn't leave a note with this one,' I commented. 'I wonder why they wrapped it separately."

Snape passed the box back to me. "Well, I would say it means that the second package is from a different person," he said, looking suspicious.

A different person? Then why didn't that person just send me the package with a different owl, instead of going to Lisa and Terry? Now I was worried about who had sent it without a note.

"Well give whoever it was the benefit of the doubt," Snape continued, now examining the sugar content on the back of the packet of eucalyptus lollies.

"The benefit of the doubt?" I said incredulously. Wasn't that a bit optimistic for Snape? Why wasn't he being cynical and telling me not to use the quill until I had found out who it was from?

"Of course," he answered dryly, putting the packet down and looking back at me. "Maybe whoever it was didn't get to go to Hogsmeade and asked your friends to buy it for you."

"But why give it to that person when they got back so that person could send it to me with a note?"

Snape leaned back again and folded his arms, looking amused. "Because I didn't invite them down here for dinner too," he said. "They were shocked enough when I handed them money to buy it for you."

I gazed at him in disbelief as I let the information sink in. It wasn't disbelief that he had bought me something. I was shocked that he had just being playing a game with me as I tried to work out who the person was. And clearly, he had enjoyed it.

"I-" I paused, staring at him. Snape didn't play games. He told Morag that nearly every day.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Thankyou."

"You're welcome."

"How did you know I wanted a _Lefties_ quill?" My friends knew I had wanted one, but I had never mentioned it to Snape. Maybe they had told him.

"I _didn't_ know you wanted one," he said airily. "I knew you _needed_ one. You've been driving me crazy in theory Potions with the way you take out your wand every five minutes to rid your parchment and hand of ink smudges. If you weren't my sister you would have earned yourself a lovely range of insulting comments by now."

I laughed, picking up the quill. "I had no idea that it was annoying you. I thought you rarely looked in my direction in Potions."

"Quite the contrary, I assure you. I may spend a lot of time pleading certain Hufflepuffs to grow brains, but I have noticed the constant presence of your wand."

"When did you give my friends money?" I was perplexed about this. Snape only ever saw my friends when they were in my presence, I couldn't work out when he would have had the opportunity.

He smiled mysteriously. "You can't deduce that on your own?" he asked mockingly.

"Not really," I said wryly. "Unless…" The only class I didn't take with my friends was Arithmancy. They had Care of Magical Creatures at that time. I had had Arithmancy the day before, just before lunch. And I knew Snape always had a free period when I had Arithmancy on a Friday. "You cornered them either on the way to Care of Magical Creatures, or on the way back."

He scoffed. "I wouldn't say _cornered_. It wasn't like I threatened them or anything. Nevertheless, you are correct. I had a word with them after their class."

"They didn't say anything to me."

He sneered. "Of course they didn't. I told them not to. They weren't about to defy me."

Those sneaky people. Lisa and Terry had probably changed their minds about Snape being mean in not letting me go to Hogsmeade. Giving them money to buy me a present had probably brought Snape up higher in their esteem.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

Sunday morning was devoted to more duelling and practicing my new Occlumency shield charm. Snape taught me the numbing spell that he had used on me yesterday. I thought it was highly effective. Depending on the level of magic you used in casting the hex, you could either create the pins and needles sensation in your opponent so they lose control of their wand movement, or numb them altogether.

On Sunday afternoon, just as we were about to go and visit Mother in Dumbledore's office, Snape felt his Dark Mark burn.

He had just reached for the door handle when he suddenly clutched his left forearm.

I knew Snape was called every now and then to You-Know-Who, but I had never been around when his arm burned. It sent tingling sensations through me, though I tried not to show my uneasiness to my brother.

He let go of his arm abruptly and turned to look at me.

"I'm afraid you'll have to go and see Mother by yourself," he said quietly, his black eyes glittering.

I nodded.

"I'm not sure how long I will be," he went on, his expression unfathomable. "If I'm not back at six o'clock, you'll have to tend to that potion still brewing in the lab, otherwise it will be ruined. Add three drops of Essence of Murtlap at three minutes intervals and stir just once clockwise. Understand?"

"Yes," I answered. Thank goodness for Occlumency. The man was remarkably calm for someone about to face the Dark Lord.

"You'll have to get the Essence of Murtlap from the classroom storeroom though. I don't have any left here. It's on order."

"Alright."

"Very well then. I will see you later. The password to Dumbledore's office is _Mocha Marshmallows_." He opened the door for me, his face still void of all emotion.

I said nothing, and a moment later I was on my way to the Headmaster's office. I thought about Snape all the way, wondering why he was being called. Snape never mentioned meetings with the Dark Lord to me, or what was discussed. But ever since the meeting with Coleman at Father's house on New Year's Eve, I had been paranoid about them discussing my potential as a Death Eater. From the dismal display I had given Coleman, he must have given a report that I had no talent for Death Eater activity. Even so, I was worried that as a member of the Snape family, my apparently awful duelling skills might be a topic of conversation – it was strange after all, that I had appeared no where near as good as my brother. I was fearful that the Dark Lord might have seen through Coleman's report.

But then, Snape might have been called for an entirely different matter. I was only worried now because I had been there when he had been called.

Dumbledore wasn't in his office. He generally wasn't on a Sunday afternoon, so as to give Snape and I privacy with our mother. I had at first wondered why Mother's ring didn't just stay down in the dungeons, but then I rationally concluded that Dumbledore's office was probably a lot safer than our rooms in the dungeons.

I climbed the stairs and sat down in an armchair in front of the ring, which Dumbledore had left sitting on a small table. To a complete stranger, it would have appeared to be just another strange magical object that the eccentric Headmaster had collected.

I touched the misty substance inside the ring and my mother's face came into view. Her blue eyes shone as she gazed up at me.

"Hello, dear," she said brightly. "Have you had a nice week?"

"Yes," I answered. "Severus has been teaching me a new shield charm."

She smiled. "One of his own inventions I'd say. I always knew he was going to be clever like that. Where _is_ Severus?"

"He got called away," I murmured.

Mother nodded in understanding, but she looked a bit uneasy herself. "I worry for him, Armilla," she whispered. "He's a clever man, but I still fear for him."

I nodded. "I do too."

"He doesn't talk about it much with you, does he?"

"No. It's probably dangerous to…not to mention that it would probably make me worry more if I knew details."

Mother nodded slowly. "I suppose you are right. Severus doesn't tell me much either." She looked thoughtful. "In fact, Aurelius rarely spoke to me of his meetings with the Dark Lord."

We were both silent for awhile, each of us lost in thought.

"I was so relieved when you found me," Mother said finally, looking at me with a sad expression. "It was such a long time to wait, but that was the risk I took when Emiliana McGonagall and I organised it all those years ago."

I said nothing. I wondered why mother was suddenly bringing this up. She looked quite desolate.

"I wondered about what had happened to you…whether you were happy…whether you were loved. But I also worried for Severus. He and Aurelius had parted in such a heated manner. I knew that he was unhappy and I never dared to suggest that he might be lonely. When I went into hiding I worried that he might do himself harm. Aurelius had disowned him, absolutely convinced that he was a traitor, and many people from the Light Side didn't trust him at all. I couldn't be there for him after I went into to hiding to have you. He must have felt so deserted at that time, like there was no one left in the world who cared whether he lived or died. It would have been a terrible thing to think that no one would miss him if he died…and I don't mean miss his skills or talents, but miss _him_."

Hearing Mother speak that way made emotions start swirling around inside me. I hadn't felt emotional like that since coming back from Father's house.

"I would miss him," I whispered.

Mother gave me a tearful smile. "I know you would, dear. When I saw Severus again in the Secret Wing, I was so determined that he should look after you…and not just for _your_ sake…"

I gazed at her, pondering these words.

"He needs you more than you realise, Armilla…more than he realises…"

o o o o o o o o o o o o

At five thirty, I left Mother and made my way back down to the dungeons, Snape on my mind still. Mother's words were ringing in my ears. Before I had discovered that we were related, I had viewed Snape as my bitter, nasty, and terribly intimidating teacher. But sometimes, having watched him in Potions, I had wondered if he had a family. I had known about his position through Merle, but I had still wondered if loneliness and bitterness had aided him in becoming such a vindictive teacher.

Snape had been shocked when he had found out about me – he had openly admitted that to me. But from living with the man and becoming more comfortable with him, I had come to see past the sadistic façade that the other students saw. When I looked at him now, I never thought of him as cruel, or bitter…or even lonely.

I wondered what happy memory Snape used to cast his Patronus. There must have been something happy in his life that contributed power to his Patronus. I would never ask; it was a personal question. I supposed that was why Snape hadn't asked me.

My thoughts were interrupted when I turned into the corridor outside the Potions classroom and noticed that the door was open. Intrigued, I walked as quietly as I could towards the room and peered inside.

Seated at a workbench in the middle of the room, were two people I could easily place by their flaming red hair without seeing their faces. Fred and George Weasley. And sitting on a desk near the front of the room (not daring to sit at Snape's desk), was Filch.

I walked in and Filch looked up abruptly, his mouth wide open ready to tell me off for being out of bounds. Upon realising that it was the Potion Master's sister in the doorway, not any random student he liked to berate for no good reason, his face relaxed. "Can I help you, Miss Snape?" he said politely. Clearly, he believed being civil to me would help him remain on good terms with my brother.

Fred and George had looked up upon hearing my name. They both turned to grin at me. It seemed that they were copying down something into their books. Detention, of course. I wondered why they were doing it with Filch in the Potions classroom.

"No, thankyou," I said, just as politely. "I just have instructions to retrieve an ingredient from the storeroom."

He nodded his approval and I moved past the twins towards the storeroom.

"Wipe those grins off your faces!" Filch snapped. "Get back to work."

"Yes, sir!" they said in unison. They seemed a little too cheerful for people doing a detention in my opinion.

Just as I entered the storeroom, I heard another person enter the classroom.

"Do you have any reason for being here, Vanderway?" Filch asked curtly.

Vanderway? He was a first year Ravenclaw.

"Yes, sir. Someone's just set off a load of Zonko's water bombs outside your office. There's water everywhere, sir. Professor Vector just sent me to get you."

I bet Filch would have been purple in the face by now.

"Impish students!" he roared. "This has to be the work of-" He stopped short. Obviously, he couldn't blame the Weasley twins because they were seated right in front of him.

"You two stay here!" he barked. "You had better be finished by the time I get back."

I heard the scurrying of feet and then the door slammed. With the Essence of Murtlap in my hand, I went back out to the classroom.

"Ingenious," George said to his twin. "Best five sickles I ever spent."

"That'll get rid of him for at least twenty minutes," Fred responded, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"So who did you pay to do it then?" I asked, smiling. Anyone who could annoy Filch deserved praise.

"Kirkpatrick," replied Fred, leaning back in his chair. "A third year Gryffindor. I hope Hermione doesn't find out though."

"Why are you doing a detention with Filch down here?"

"It's _Snape's_ detention," George answered, putting his quill down. "We've been doing this detention every Sunday afternoon for weeks. This is the last one."

But Snape had been with_ me_ every Sunday afternoon since the new term had started. What had the Weasley twins done to earn such a long detention period?

"Oh, it's Snape's detention, but Filch has been supervising them," George explained when he saw my puzzled look. "Filch was honoured to do the job actually."

"He was excited that we had received such a detention," Fred went on, "and he wanted the opportunity to have a few hours a week to feel like he was making our lives hell."

"Oh." Well, that was interesting.

"But he wasn't," said Fred airily, also putting down his quill. "We've been having a great time."

"A great time?" I repeated. "It looks as if you've been copying stuff down."

"Yeah, we have." George indicated all the parchments in front of him, most of them covered in writing.

Fred suddenly took out his wand and performed a warding charm, similar to the one Snape used when he didn't want to be overheard.

"Here's the deal, Armilla," he said quietly. "George and I want to open our own business, a joke shop in fact."

"How surprising," I said sardonically.

They both laughed.

"Well our hearts were set on becoming joint Ministers for Magic," Fred admitted, looking quite serious, "but then we found out that we possessed too many brains cells for such a job and we decided we that we were better suited in the joke shop business."

"Wise decision." In all honesty, I thought either of the twins would be good Ministers for Magic.

"Yes, we thought so," Fred continued. "So for ages now, George and I have been experimenting with all sorts of stuff when we've been designing our products."

"How many explosions have you had?"

"An embarrassing amount," George replied, looking amused. "And we've injured ourselves so many times that we've had to make our own healing potions so we don't have to go to the hospital wing. Umbridge monitors who goes in and out of there."

I knew that. Snape had told me that during the detention I had had with him at the beginning of the school year.

"Anyway," he went on, "besides our dorm, we've been using random classrooms to experiment in. We've had help in making sure Umbridge stays away. But rather unluckily one evening, we were caught-"

"-No, I would say_ luckily_," Fred interrupted.

"Quite right, Fred. Yes, _luckily_ we were caught experimenting by none other than Professor Snape. No where near the dungeons of course. We had steered clear of the dungeons."

"Luckily? Really?" I had a feeling that this was going to be an amusing tale.

"Certainly," said Fred, smiling. "We had been trying to find just the right combination of certain potion ingredients for awhile with little success. Snape was so angry when he found us. He demanded to know what we were doing…and so we told him flat out that we were experimenting and couldn't come up with the right combination."

I stared at them in disbelief. Any other student just caught by Snape would have either stuttered or tried to come up with a good lie.

"Oh, we're not worried about being expelled," George said cheerfully. "We actually weren't sure if we were going to come back for our seventh year."

Not come back for seventh year? I knew I would never have that choice. Not that I would leave before my last year anyway.

"The problem was," he continued. "When Snape found us, the classroom we were in was already a mess from a few minor explosions just before he came in. We think it must have pained him to see potion ingredients put to such waste."

Personally, I didn't agree. I was sure Snape would have wasted plenty of ingredients over the years when _he_ was experimenting.

"And so you got detention," I finished.

"Yep," Fred replied. "A number of them actually. All with Filch…which brings us to the part about why we're quite cheerful about the detentions, and why we've been telling all the other DA members to lay off you about being dark."

Excellent. Some answers about that, _finally_!

"All our detentions have been the same," Fred went on, quite enjoying himself. "We've been given old lists of potions ingredients and their properties and we have to copy them all out. There are heaps of them, that's why the detentions have been going over several weeks. Anyway, at first we thought that it was going to be an incredibly boring experience, copying out ingredients and their properties, but then we noticed something a bit fishy."

"A bit fishy?" I asked, quite amused.

"Certainly," replied George. "Snape didn't leave us standard lists of potion ingredients to copy. He gave us long lists of course, but they included all sorts of rare ingredients that we don't use so much in class, and the properties included what combinations they work most effectively in. So every now and then, we find something incredibly useful for our experimenting."

"Oh," I said breathlessly. I didn't dare believe that Snape was…_helping_ them.

"Of course, Snape would never admit that he has secretly been teaching us about the ingredients that we have been experimenting with by giving us these lists." Fred smirked as he folded his arms. "It looks like your average ingredient list. We only find something useful with about every twentieth ingredient; but all the same, we're a lot closer to finishing some products than we were before."

I couldn't believe it. Would Snape go out of his way to help the Weasley twins concoct new products for their business? It was common knowledge that the twins wanted to open a joke shop. Maybe Snape thought that the twins had potential for making more than joke products. Snape could have given them any old school list, but he hadn't. It must have been a ploy on his part. Snape was up to something.

"And Snape wants as little to do with it as possible," said Fred. "That's why he got Filch to oversee the detentions. He doesn't want us to ask him questions or seek help openly from him."

I nodded. That sounded about right; Snape wouldn't want to encourage the twins to go to him when they came to a problem. It was a very clever plan.

"We've absolutely convinced that Snape works for the Light." Fred looked very serious now. "And that's why we now threaten to hex anyone who even insinuates that you're dark."

George nodded. "You're alright, you and Snape. You're a strange little family, but you'll always have our loyalty."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

Well I certainly had been given a lot to think about over the weekend. As I walked back to our rooms in the dungeons with the Essence of Murtlap, I was thinking about Snape again, and for yet another reason – helping Fred and George.

Snape wasn't back, so I went into the lab/office to add the three drops when six o'clock came, which wasn't far away.

Snape came in when it was nearly half-past six. His face wore no expression as he took off his travelling cloak, but I knew he was tired. I didn't dare ask any questions – I knew I would receive no detailed answers anyway. After asking about my visit with Mother and whether I had any problems with the potion, he left again to see Dumbledore. No doubt Snape reported to Dumbledore after every meeting with the Dark Lord.

That night, I laid awake, thinking about what Mother had said about Snape needing me as much as I needed him. I had needed Snape many times over the last few months. At first, I hadn't liked needing him because I hadn't been comfortable around him. But the idea of him needing _me_ was very different. What did _I _have to offer him? What did _I _have to offer such a talented, brilliant wizard?

I stared up into the darkness, pondering this question. A memory suddenly came to me, called forth in my mind as if by another power I had no control over. It was the night I had returned to Hogwarts after staying with Father. I had reached breaking point and had yelled at Snape in frustration. He had let me yell and I had only stopped when he had pulled me into his arms. My friends and Tonks aside, I hadn't been hugged by a family member since Merle was alive. Again, even after yelling at him, Snape, the formidable Head of Slytherin, had shown me affection. The memory seemed to focus around one particular moment.

_"For what it's worth," I said, reaching a hand up to wipe my eyes, "I missed you."_

_Snape caught my hand in his before I lowered it and squeezed it._

_"I missed you too," he whispered._

He had missed me too. Only four words, but looking back, they seemed to encapsulate the nature of our relationship. I had been happy to hear him say it at the time, but after Mother's conversation today, they meant so much more.

_"He needs you more than you realise, Armilla…more than he realises…"_

I had happy memories of when I had needed my brother and he had been there. But this memory revealed something to me now that I hadn't thought a lot about at the time. He had missed me too. He needed me too, just like I needed him, and this thought created a sense of happiness in me that was more powerful than any other. That memory would be the source of my most powerful Patronus.

And then, out of no where, the answer to the question I had been pondering appeared. What did I have to offer Snape?

Love.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N I'd really appreciate it if you could take the time to leave me a review, especially if you've been following the story for a long time and I've never heard from you. I'd love to know what you think.

You are also invited to visit the Armilla forum at any time.

If you haven't seen the picture of Armilla yet, you can check it out by following the yahoo link on my profile page.

Quote reference: thankyou to Margaret Alsey, whose quote I lovingly adapted for Snape's use.


	57. Fear

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 56

On Monday morning I awoke tired, but happy. I was exhausted from a weekend of Snape-style duelling and delving into magic I hadn't often used. I had gotten the impression that Snape was determined for me to reach as far as I could into the very depths of my magical ability. He didn't just want to teach me, he wanted me to explore my own magic.

And I certainly had been. The new Occlumency Shield charm I was currently working on was so taxing that I felt mentally and physically exhausted. But as Snape had pointed out, the demands of the charm would become less and less once my mind and body had become accustomed to using the charm, just like with Occlumency.

After talking to Mother about my brother the day before, I had been thinking about him a lot. Of course I could offer him love, something valuable that he might not have even realised that he was missing. Snape might have forgotten what it was to be loved…not that I was about to become the sentimental Hufflepuff and say it to his face. But I also wondered if he still felt alone in his life. I didn't feel alone, of course, because I could confide in him – and he had made it perfectly clear that he expected me to.

But what about him? Did he tell all his deepest worries and fears to Dumbledore? He had told me ages ago that he didn't keep everything inside. He couldn't really tell me all his worries and fears because it would mean revealing information that he would prefer I didn't know. But even if that wasn't the reason, Snape also had his pride – maybe he felt it a weakness to talk of his fears to his younger sister. He was after all, over twenty years older than me. I knew adults got scared; it was just that many of them wouldn't admit it to those a lot younger than them. I was sure that underneath Snape many magical layers obtained through Occlumency, he _was_ scared.

Snape and I walked up to the Great Hall together for breakfast, and parted ways at the entrance. I made my way to the Ravenclaw table, while Snape chose to walk past his Slytherins. He was his usual Monday morning self (a bit grumpy like the rest of us, agitated because he had to teach Potter Occlumency that evening, and more sarcastic than usual. He was always more sarcastic on a Monday because he didn't get as much of a chance to be sarcastic on the weekend as he did during the week). I still hadn't asked for any details about the nature of his meeting with the Dark Lord the day before, and he hadn't offered any information at all. I was still inclined to believe at the moment that it was best that I didn't know.

"I got a new _Lefties_ quill yesterday," I announced to my friends, as I sat down opposite them.

"A new _Lefties _quill?" Lisa pretended to look surprised. "Wow, Mill, you're lucky."

"Yep," I said airily, pouring some tea. "An anonymous present it would seem…strange that it came with _your_ owl though, Terry."

Terry looked a bit guilty. "Well, Snape _did_ tell us not to tell, Milly-,"

"Don't call me Mi-," I interrupted, but Terry continued talking as he sprinkled sugar over his porridge.

"-and I reckon that he would have put us in detention if we had told you."

"Yeah, alright," I said, grinning. "I daresay he would have."

"Did you guess who it was from straightaway?" Lisa asked, after swallowing a mouthful of cereal.

"No," I admitted. "I thought it was from you two at first, and then Severus pointed out that because it was wrapped separately and with no note, it must have been from a different person."

Terry laughed. "He didn't own up to it?"

I shook my head, glancing sideways at the people around me. They were all absorbed in their own conversations with their own friends, many of them chatting away about Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade. "He seemed happy to let me work it out for myself. He pretended that he didn't know who sent it either."

Lisa looked gave me an incredulous look. "Sounds like he was playing a game with you, Mill."

I nodded. "He was. He was happy to play it because _he_ had the upper hand."

"So you worked out that Snape cornered us after Care of Magical Creatures?" Terry asked.

"Yeah, though he said he didn't _corner_ you at all."

Terry shrugged. "Well, he didn't act as though we were in trouble or anything. But come on Mill, brother or not, this is _Snape_. If he approaches us for any reason at any time, we're going to feel cornered."

Lisa nodded. "We still found him intimidating even when he was talking about you."

"He still frowned and sneered and stuff," Terry went on, his face thoughtful as though he was reliving the memory.

"Well imagine what it would have looked like otherwise for the students walking by," I pointed out quietly. "Imagine seeing Snape talking animatedly with two Ravenclaw students."

"Yeah, yeah, good point." Terry grinned before shovelling a huge spoonful of porridge into his mouth.'

"It was really nice of him to think of doing something like that for you," Lisa said. "Maybe he felt guilty about not letting you go."

I shook my head. "No, nothing like that. I've been driving him mad with the way I take my wand out all the time in Potions to fix my smudges."

Terry rolled his eyes. "It's not only him then. That drives _me_ crazy too."

I glared at him. "Well, problem solved, Boot. I've got a _Lefties_ quill now."

He laughed. "Don't glare at _me_, Snape. You look like your brother when you do that."

I sighed, as if putting up with Terry's company was a great trial. "Anyway," I said, looking at Lisa. "How was Hogsmeade? Did you two have a good time?"

"Oh, it was great!" she exclaimed. "I won't say it was the best," she added, "because you weren't there to enjoy it with us. We missed having you there."

"Forget it," I said, laughing. "It was Valentine's Day after all. So what did you do?"

Lisa smiled. "Well there were all these couples inside the cafés and we didn't really want to join them in their snogging competition. So we did our shopping and just walked around together."

"We bought some Butterbeers and went up to visit the Shrieking Shack too," Terry added, after draining his teacup.

"Guess who we saw together?" Lisa went on, her eyes shining. "Though we had suspected this for ages."

"Who?"

"Harry Potter and Cho Chang!"

"Really?" I glanced down the table to where Cho Chang sat with her friend, Marietta Edgecombe. Cho looked far from happy. If anything, she looked irritated.

"I take it Cho's not happy about her dating arrangements?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lisa followed my gaze down the table. "Ah, well, I heard things ended badly for them in Madam Puddifoot's."

"Oh." Lovers quarrels indeed.

"And you might be interested to know," Terry piped up, "that Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy weren't together in Hogsmeade. I saw Pansy with her friends and Malfoy wasn't with them. I didn't see him at all actually."

"Oh, I did," Lisa said. "I saw him coming out of Honeydukes with Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Zabini."

I shrugged. "I don't care really." In all honesty, I was starting to wish that Malfoy _would_ go out with Pansy. It would hopefully end any expectations of Lucius Malfoy and my father. But then, I didn't know how much control Draco Malfoy had over who he dated. In any case, I was willing to change the subject.

"Thanks for the eucalyptus lollies and the chocolate stars."

"No problem," Terry yawned, leaning back to stretch. "Make sure you share them with your brother."

I smiled. I wasn't about to tell them about Snape's vendetta against chocolate stars. Not only did I find it amusing, I found it terribly endearing for a thirty-six year old man to look affronted every time he saw chocolate stars.

o o o o o o o o o o o

"Can you not see your mistake, Miss Abbott?" Snape demanded, during theory Potions on Friday. "The board clearly states that you are to stir the potion three times counter-clockwise after adding the dried figs and then just once clockwise when the potion becomes transparent."

Hannah Abbott was positively shaking as she stared down at her workbook, in which she had been copying (incorrectly it would seem) Snape's written instructions from the board.

"Well? What have you to say?" Snape stood in front of her, arms folded and his best scowl in place.

Hannah looked nervously towards the board. "Stir once counter-clockwise after adding the dried figs," she said timidly, "and then three times clockwise when the potion becomes transparent."

"Indeed," Snape said curtly. "Had I not pointed that out to you, Miss Abbott, you would have succeeded in ruining your potion and receiving a zero. I suggest you pay more attention. Five points from Hufflepuff."

Hannah looked as though she wanted to sink through the floor. The Hufflepuffs around her waited until Snape had turned and stalked away before casting her sympathetic glances. Smith was the only Hufflepuff who didn't; he was too busy glaring at me instead for daring to have such a brother. Oh well.

Even if I had wanted to return the glare, I couldn't have. Snape was now walking towards the left side of the classroom, where my friends and I sat. He didn't make eye contact with me; instead he glanced at the _Lefties_ quill in my hand with a satisfied look. I had not known that I had been driving him crazy by taking my wand out to fix my smudges all the time. I didn't like to think about the type of comment I would have received had I not been his sister…perhaps something like: _Miss Kemp, it would appear that you have not yet mastered the simple task of writing without leaving great splodges on your parchment. I suggest you improve the type of quill you are using or practise writing smudge-free with the quill you have in detention. Either way, I do not wish to see you take your wand out again in class unless it is to charm a potion. Understand?_

It was a relief to be able to come to Potions now not dreading being made the centre of attention by Snape and his malicious remarks. I had had my share over the years – every student had. Admittedly, I still felt a different type of pressure in Potions that I didn't feel so much in my other classes.

I didn't like the thought of making mistakes in Potions, and not just because it would set everyone's tongues wagging about the Potions Master's sister being incompetent, which would inevitably get back to my father. More than anything else, I felt that I owed it to Snape to perform well in his class. I knew if I shared this view with him, he would sneer and tell me to stop putting so much pressure on myself and that Potions are simply fascinating. In fact, he would probably suggest that I talk it over with him while preparing another batch of ingredients for him. Not that I would mind. I had no issues about spending time with him.

Though I was certain that Snape's cutting remarks would not come my way during class, I was never comfortable hearing those remarks directed at others, unless it was particularly deserved, in cases like Zacharias Smith. I got three typical reactions from my classmates when Snape chose to intimidate a student. One was a look of annoyance, like it was partly my fault (due to family ties) that Snape was in a bullying mood. The second was indifference, meaning that I was ignored altogether while Snape was doing the intimidating, which was fair in my opinion because I also chose to adopt that expression during that particular time. And the third was a look of pity, as these students thought that I suffered similar treatment when I was alone with Snape.

"Now," said Snape, after everyone had finished copying out the potion. "Close your books." His black eyes swept the room. "That includes you, Macmillan," he added coldly, looking pointedly at Ernie, who hastily closed his book.

"Your OWLs will be upon you before you know it," Snape continued, moving to stand at the front of the room. Everyone followed his every move, not daring to be caught not paying attention. "It is therefore crucial that you are revising as much as possible. It astounds me that some of you still don't know all the properties of basic potion ingredients. This sort of knowledge should now come naturally to you." He glared around the room and a few people slouched slightly on their stools. "If it doesn't, you certainly have a lot of work to do, especially if you wish to return for Advanced Potions in your sixth year."

He began to walk between the workbenches. "Finch-Fletchley," he said sharply, fixing his gaze on Justin, who looked quite startled to be called upon since he had been paying attention. "How do Undetectable Potions live up to their name?"

Justin looked nervous as he answered. "um…they have no odour, taste, or colour…and they can be added to other substances without being noticed?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Is that a question or your answer?"

"My answer, sir."

Snape nodded curtly. "Correct." He addressed himself to the next student, sitting beside Justin. "Miss Bones, name two ingredients used in a Wit-Sharpening Potion."

Susan was silent for a moment, and I could tell she was trying not to panic. She couldn't look for support from her friends because Snape was standing right in front of her, staring coldly down at her.

"Ginger roots?"

"That's _one_, Miss Bones. I asked for two."

"…and…scarab beetles." Susan looked hopeful. Really, if students had no interest in potions, chances were that they were going to forget potions and how they were made.

Snape gave her a dubious look. "That is correct, but I am not entirely convinced that knowledge got you through that as much as luck."

Susan looked down at her hands. For her sake, I hoped Snape would just move on to the next student.

"Tell me how the ginger roots and scarab beetles are prepared for the potion, Miss Bones," he said softly, though his voice sounded dangerous.

Poor Susan now looked terrified. She clearly didn't remember doing the Wit-Sharpening Potion in fourth year, and from the looks on the many faces around her, not many others did either. Perhaps they had only been studying fifth year content so far.

"I'm waiting, Miss Bones."

"The scarab beetles are ground…"

"Oh, so you _do_ know. And the ginger roots?"

"Shredded?"

"Incorrect," he answered coldly. "Would you care to enlighten her, Miss Abbott?"

Hannah was still looking stricken from earlier, but she took a shot at the answer. "Chop them?"

"Correct." Snape glared around the room, his eyes glittering menacingly. "How terribly tiresome this is. We shall go around the room, and before long you will know if you need to do further revision. If, in a couple of week's time when I do this exercise again, there is no improvement, those students will do detention until they _do_ know. I _don't_ want guesswork answers, I want informed answers."

Everyone now looked a bit edgy. I certainly felt nervous. I wondered if Snape would ask me a question he was certain I knew the answer to, just to save face. He went through the Hufflepuffs first, his expression becoming more forbidding as nerves got the better of them and they stuttered their way through the answers. A few of them, Zacharias Smith included, had been revising though, and they answered perfectly. When this happened, Snape just nodded curtly and moved on. It would have been a miracle if he had awarded House points to a House that wasn't his.

Not long after he had moved onto the Ravenclaws, he stopped in front of the bench where I was sitting with my friends.

"Miss Turpin, name the most powerful sleeping potion."

Lisa answered confidently. "The Draught of Living Death."

Snape nodded and turned to Terry. "Boot, what colour is a Strengthening Solution, if it has been prepared correctly?"

"Turquoise, sir." Terry looked relieved even before Snape said anything. We had revised that potion not long ago in the common room.

"Correct." Snape now turned to me, his expression indifferent. "How are lace-wing flies prepared if they are to be added to Polyjuice Potion?"

That was a tricky question…I knew the lace-wing flies had to be stewed for a certain number of days before being added to the potion...how many? I had to get this right. Snape had probably refrained from asking his sister an easy question so the other students wouldn't think that he was going easy on me.

"They have to be stewed," I answered quietly, "for twenty-one days."

"Correct." Without casting me another glance, he moved on to question Mandy Brocklehurst and Padma Patil. I felt so relieved.

o o o o o o o o o o o

"I'm not looking forward to another pop quiz from Snape," said Terry, as we made our way out of the dungeons after class. "The looks he was giving some people were venomous."

"I'm glad you got yours right, Mill." Lisa looked a bit pale. Even though she had gotten her question right, she had looked sick right up until the moment she had given her answer. "It wouldn't have looked good for either of you if you hadn't. I didn't know the answer to your question."

"Nor did I," Terry went on. "Snape certainly didn't go easy on you, that's for sure."

"I bet you get extra help anyway, Snape," said an angry voice from behind us. We turned around to see Zacharias Smith walking behind us. "I study for five hours everyday, but you'd probably still come out on top because of your connections. It wouldn't look good for you to get a low grade in Potions."

"I wasn't getting low grades in Potions when I was a Kemp," I retorted, as we kept walking. "It's not about connections, Smith, it's about brains. Are you familiar with the brain? It's this grey matter inside the head-" I paused, positively fuming. "Oh sorry, is this a sensitive issue? Can you follow simple conversation on that half a brain of yours?"

Smith sneered. "Oh, funny, Snape. You think you can say what you like?"

"I say what I think, Smith," I said airily, as we reached the Entrance Hall. "As do you. That's equal, isn't it?"

Smith opened his mouth to retort, but abruptly closed it again.

"Don't you have a class to get to, Smith?" Terry was looking at him as if he was some sort of insect.

"No, I have a free period now."

"Then obviously you have some studying to do?" Lisa said, giving him a bored look.

"Of course he does," Terry went on. "Better get started on that five-hour study period, Smith."

"I will," he snapped, glaring at all three of us. "I don't care what you say, Armilla Snape, you're going into the OWLs with an advantage over everyone else. You need-"

"What I need," I interrupted, "is your absence. I have long been desiring it."

Smith cast me one last look of contempt before turning on his heel. "I'm going to study," he said shortly, walking away.

"Yes, go study," Terry called after him. "A mouse studying to be a rat."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

After classes that day, I went down to the dungeons as usual. Snape wasn't there yet, so I went into my bedroom to visit Morag. She had been in a great mood since Tuesday night, when Snape had finally allowed me to give her some of the _Morgan's_ food for good behaviour.

"Hello," I called, as I stepped into the room. Morag flew at once from her place on top of my armoire to my arm. She nipped affectionately at my finger. "Nice to see you too," I murmured, stroking her feathers.

When Snape still hadn't returned after another fifteen minutes, I pulled out my chocolate frog card and wasn't surprised that the wizard on the front was waving at me to indicate a message.

_I'll be down there in time for dinner. Umbridge decided to call a last-minute staff meeting._

Lucky him. Probably a couple of hours of discussing new rules which meant handing over even more power to the Ministry.

I settled at my desk to work on that day's homework. After getting through my Ancient Runes and Arithmancy work, I turned to my Potions homework. Snape had set a particularly tricky essay on moonstone and venom antidotes. I searched through the books I had with me for extra information, but couldn't find all the information I was looking for. I needed to get the potions book that Snape had bought for me in Diagon Alley. I knew it contained more useful information.

"I'll be back in ten minutes," I said to Morag as I got up. I had to get the book from my trunk in my dorm. "Severus will be here shortly, so if you feel like doing any screeching or loud hooting, get it over with now."

Morag complied by letting out one almighty screech, turning bright yellow at the same time. A moment later, she was quiet again and back to her normal colour.

"Feel better?"

She blinked in response and hopped over to her water tray.

I hurried up to Ravenclaw Tower, knowing that I would not be detained long as most people would have made their way to the Great Hall for dinner by now. There was no strict time for dinner on a Friday night, and Snape and I generally chose to eat in the dungeons.

As I expected, the Ravenclaw common room was deserted. I retrieved the book, shrank it down to fit inside my pocket in case I ran into Umbridge, and a moment later I was on my way to the dungeons again.

My return trip wasn't as smooth. First I ran into the Weasley twins, who winked and slipped something called a Skiving Snackbox into my hand and kept walking. Terry had told me all about Skiving Snackboxes. I would have to keep it away from Snape. If he found it, he would conduct experiments on it to find out what it was for and I didn't want to be responsible for Fred and George being in trouble.

Slipping the Skiving Snackbox into my pocket, I got as far as the Entrance Hall before I ran into someone else. Hermione Granger was hurrying out of the Great Hall carrying her schoolbag, obviously on her way to the library.

"Oh, Armilla!" she said, beckoning me over to her. "I was wondering if you have _Miraculous Moonstones_ or _Potion Innovations_. Someone has checked them out of the library and I wanted to borrow them too."

"No, sorry," I replied. "It wasn't me." I generally didn't need to go to the library for Potions related resources. That was one advantage that I had. Snape always let me use the books in the sitting room. I knew we had the books that Hermione was looking for in the sitting room, but I knew Snape would never allow one of his least-favourite Gryffindors to borrow them.

Hermione looked crestfallen. "Oh, that's a shame. I've been asking so many people if they know who has them. Madam Pince won't tell me who has them." She sighed. "I'm starting to think one of the Slytherins has borrowed them."

I nodded at her in understanding. "Well, I don't think many of them will be willing to help you out."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not while Draco Malfoy is there anyway. I can't walk past their table without hearing him whisper _Mudblood_. Thanks anyway. I'll keep asking people."

"Wait!" I said suddenly, getting an idea. "What about the Room of Requirement? Think about the information you need and you might find the books that you want in there."

Hermione's eyes shined. "Ooh, good idea. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Armilla."

I shrugged. "I hope it works."

"Oh, I'll let you know what I find," she said, beaming.

"Don't you have some studying to do, Miss Granger?" said a deep voice from behind me. I turned around to see Snape standing behind me, looking thoroughly irritated.

"Yes, sir," Hermione answered, her face expressionless. She had put up with a great deal from Snape over the years, and to stand there without hatred etched on her face was a remarkable feat for her.

"Then I suggest you move along," he said, his lip curling. "There are books waiting to be memorised and regurgitated on your part, and subsequently misconstrued later by Potter and Weasley."

Hermione opened her mouth and shut it again, pushing down whatever she had really wanted to say. "Yes, sir," she said again, and she left in the direction of the library.

Snape didn't bother looking at me as he swept off towards the dungeons. I hastily followed, not saying anything.

When we arrived back to our rooms, our dinner was already on the table, having been magically sent there by the house elves.

"I was most surprised to see you conversing with Miss Granger in the Entrance Hall," said Snape, as we sat down to eat. He fixed me with a harsh expression. "Not at all prudent, I must say, to be talking to a muggle-born where you can be viewed by certain Slytherins."

"I didn't approach her," I said defensively. "She approached me, and the conversation only lasted for a few seconds. What was I supposed to do?"

"If you must talk with Miss Granger, do so before or after the classes you have with her." He didn't look very happy. "That way you can disguise the contact as being for study related purposes."

"So if she ever approaches me in the Entrance Hall again I can't talk to her?"

Snape glared at me. "Don't be ridiculous. Limit the conversation and arrange to meet in the library, or as I said, before or after one of the classes you share."

"She'll want to know why," I murmured, poking at the chicken on my plate with my fork.

"Of course she will," he scoffed. "It's Miss Granger we're talking about."

"There are worse people I could talk to," I said quietly.

"Indeed," he said, sneering slightly. "You may tell her why, just don't go into detail. Miss Granger is not entirely stupid; she would know her place in the wizarding world is viewed as very low by some people. If she wants to maintain contact with you, she will have to accept the terms."

We ate for a few moments in silence. It was strange how the revelation of my true identity and change of name altered simple day-to-day things like talking to people in the Entrance Hall.

"I was glad you answered that question right in Potions today," Snape said suddenly, looking over at me. "For a moment I thought you weren't going to answer."

"No, I knew," I answered. "I had been wondering how hard you were going to make the question."

He smirked. "Go easy on you so you would get it right? Or make the question difficult to show that I don't go easy on you?"

I smiled. "Either way, Zacharias Smith thinks I have an advantage over everyone else. He thinks I get extra help."

"Zacharias Smith is not capable of rational thought, Armilla. He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

I laughed. "_Cutting Remarks: Dealing with Dunderheads_?"

"That book is too good."

"He thinks I only get good marks in Potions because I'm related to you."

"Your marks weren't bad when you were a Kemp."

"I told him that and it didn't make a difference."

"Well you don't need to make excuses or prove yourself to Smith. He's a fine one to talk. The fact that he is a Hufflepuff is evidence of some flaw of character."

We finished dinner not long after and Snape decided that he wanted to duel. I was tired, but I complied. After all, I couldn't stop an attacker on account of being tired.

Snape began to duel as soon as the furniture had been moved out of the way and it was all I could do to shield the hexes. I used the Occlumency Shield I had been working on, willing it to become stronger and stronger. It would shake slightly if my concentration wavered, so all my effort was put into maintaining it.

After ten minutes of firing hex after hex without getting through my shield, Snape stopped.

"You know, it's getting boring to have nothing fired back at me," he said. "I haven't managed to get through your shield so you may as well try multi-tasking with it now."

I wasn't entirely convinced. Maybe I just felt too content with concentrating on the shield alone.

"Give it a go, Armilla," he said seriously. "You have to try it sometime, or I may as well have not taught you this at all."

I nodded, feeling nervous. "Alright then." I put the shield up, preparing myself for whatever Snape cast.

"_Rictusempra_!"

The charm didn't get through, and I tried to throw something back, concentrating on the shield at the same time.

"_Tarantallegra_!" I said, trying to mentally hold on to the shield at the same time.

"_Trebuchiero_!"

"Ow!" I exclaimed, as I fell hard onto the floor. The shield had faltered with my concentration on the hex and had allowed Snape's own hex to get through.

"Well, I didn't expect you to get it the first time," he said, walking over to me. He held his hand out to pull me up. I took it and got up, feeling quite battered. "You haven't been working on that shield for very long. It may take many goes before it works while you cast a hex. Let's try again."

He walked over to the other side of the room again and raised his wand. I raised mine too, preparing myself again.

I fell again, and again, and again. And then once more.

"That was an improvement," said Snape, coming to stand over me from where I sat on the floor.

"How was it an improvement?" I asked crossly. "I still ended up on the floor." My tailbone was aching from landing on it too many times.

"Don't be so impatient. It was an improvement because you took a lot longer to fall that time, which means that it took longer for your shield to fail." He folded his arms. "That clearly points to you getting the hang of this."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed," he scoffed, as I took his outstretched hand to pull myself up.

I was exhausted. Though I hadn't been successful, the use of such magical energy had worn me out.

"Have you done your homework?" Snape asked, as he sat down at the table with a pile of essays to mark.

"Most of it. I've just got Potions left to do."

"Well, you can work on that tomorrow morning," he said, reaching for the essay on top of the pile. "You're too tired to put proper effort into it tonight, though it _is_ such a joy to read essays clearly written at two o'clock in the morning."

"How can you tell?"

"The essays have poorly constructed sentences and halfway through it is almost like the student has forgotten what the point of the essay was. Once I received half a poor Potions essay and half an essay on the Goblin Riots."

"What do you write back to them?"

Snape smirked, still looking down at the essay in front of him. "Well, I used to enquire when the student intended on learning Beginner's English. I have a new favourite at the moment, courtesy of you."

"Oh no." Maybe giving him that book wasn't the best idea.

He smiled at my troubled expression and then proceeded to quote. "I am returning this otherwise good writing parchment to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top"

I groaned. 'This is all my fault.'

He laughed as he picked up his quill. "Best present I ever received, Armilla."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

On Saturday, I joined Lisa and Terry in the Great Hall for lunch after finishing my Potions essay down in the dungeons. We were planning on going to the Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw Quidditch game that afternoon. We were certain that Ravenclaw would win, given that Harry and the Weasley twins were no longer on the team due to their ridiculous lifelong ban.

Having finished lunch early, Lisa persuaded Terry and I to go to the Charms classroom with her to retrieve a textbook that she had accidentally left in there the day before. Being the ever cautious person that she was, Lisa had gotten written permission from Professor Flitwick to retrieve the book in case Umbridge came along and found us alone in the room.

"I left it on my desk," said Lisa, as we stepped into the empty classroom. "But there were other classes after ours yesterday so it was probably moved somewhere else."

We went further in and spread out to look for the book.

"Well it's not on Flitwick's desk," Terry called from the front of the room.

"It's not in any of these cupboards either," Lisa said, as she and I rifled through the spare books and parchment in the cupboards running along the side of the room.

Terry pulled out his wand. "Accio Lisa's book!"

There was a loud clunk in the room, coming from the storeroom. The book must have hit the closed door. I supposed the door was magically guarded against the Accio charm.

"I'll get it," I said, moving to the other side of the room.

"Alohomora." The door creaked slightly as I pushed it open. I took out my wand to cast some light into the room. "Lumos."

I gasped in horror at the sight that met me.

Snape, clearly dead.

"No," I murmured, my heart thumping hard. A tingle ran through my body as I fought to breathe. Snape was sprawled on the floor, white as a ghost, his lips blue. There was not a mark on him. He was so still.

I crouched down beside him, feeling like I was going to be sick.

"Severus, you can't," I said softly. "You can't be…" He couldn't be. He just _couldn't_ be. But why would his body be in a dark storeroom? I had seen him only an hour before, down in the dungeons. He couldn't be…

Realisation swept over me after logical thought had come screaming back. This _wasn't _Snape. It couldn't be. It had to be an unwelcome creature that liked to inhabit small, dark spaces. A creature that liked to take the form of what one feared most.

I got up hastily and left the room. I certainly couldn't think of anything humorous to use with the Riddikulus charm. I just didn't want to be in the room with the boggart any longer.

"Did you find-" Lisa broke off when she saw my face. "What's the matter?"

Terry gave me a strange look and moved cautiously into the room.

"Ahhhh!"

"What?" Lisa cried, looking stricken.

"There's a python in here! I gotta get out-"

"It's a boggart," I called, my voice shaking slightly.

"A boggart? Oh bloody hell…"

Lisa and I waited in silence for a moment.

"Riddikulus!"

The tension was broken by the sound of Terry's laughter. We moved into the storeroom behind Terry to see the python tied into a rather tricky knot. For awhile we watched it, as laughter weakened it. Not long after, it vanished with a puff of smoke.

"What's so terribly amusing in here? I do enjoy a good joke."

The three of us spun around in surprise. Dumbledore was standing right behind us, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"Professor," Lisa said, breathlessly. "Armilla found a boggart in here."

"Did she really?" Dumbledore looked at me, his face full of interest. I tried to look indifferent about it, but fooling the Headmaster was no easier than fooling Snape.

"Terry disposed of it, sir," I said, now feeling a bit guilty that I hadn't gotten rid of the boggart myself.

"Well done, Mr Boot. Twenty points to Ravenclaw." Dumbledore turned to me. "And twenty points to you, Miss Snape, for identifying it as a boggart." He gave me a significant look and I wondered if he had already guessed what I had seen. Though I had realised that it was a boggart, I couldn't rid my mind of the terrible image of Snape…_dead._

"Ah, here it is!" said Lisa suddenly, bending down to pick her book up off the floor.

"Ah, you now have what you came for?" Dumbledore enquired, looking at the book in Lisa's hands.

"Yes, sir," she said. "Professor Flitwick gave us permission to be in here."

"Fine, fine," he said, waving a hand aside. "Well the Quidditch game is due to start in twenty-five minutes. I would think that you want good seats. Perhaps you should return your book to Ravenclaw Tower and head down to the pitch."

"Yes, sir," we said, following him out of the storeroom.

Once we were out in the corridor, and Dumbledore had sealed the classroom, we made to walk to Ravenclaw Tower.

"Armilla," Dumbledore called. "If you would stay a moment, I wish to speak with you."

I nodded at my friends to go and I moved back to Dumbledore.

"We'll go up to my office," he said. "If you don't mind, that is."

"No, sir. Not at all."

We passed many students on the way to Dumbledore's office, many carrying scarves and gloves, clearly on their way out to the Quidditch pitch.

"Chocolate Stars," Dumbledore said to the gargoyle. It sprang to life and before long I was sitting in one of the chairs opposite Dumbledore's desk.

"Lemon drop?"

"No thankyou, sir." The last thing I felt like was food.

"Well then, Armilla. I would like to talk to you about the boggart."

I felt sick. The image of Snape's ghostly face kept flashing in my mind. "Do you…know what I saw then?" I asked softly.

Dumbledore inclined his head. "I have an inkling. But I may be wrong of course."

"I saw him dead," I whispered.

Dumbledore didn't need to ask who. "Just as I thought," he said quietly. "You fear your brother's death more than anything else."

I nodded, biting my lip.

'Understandable."

"I have many things to fear,' I said slowly, "I fear my father…I fear seeing Shar again…I fear Severus being found out...but I fear being left alone by him…I don't want him to leave me."

Dumbledore looked grave. "I do understand that you have more reason to fear for Severus than the average student fearing for a guardian. I cannot deny that Severus has an extremely dangerous job. I will not lie to you, Armilla, I fear for him too."

I swallowed, beginning to occlude so that I wouldn't lose it in front of the Headmaster.

"But life can become terribly miserable if one constantly spends time contemplating potential dangers. Severus would go mad if he did that, as would you, and as would I."

I nodded, looking up to meet his gaze.

"The way the wizarding world is at the moment, Armilla, we have to take each day as it comes. I am sure you would be the first to say that life is full of unexpected twists and turns."

I gave a small smile. I certainly agreed with that. A year ago, I wouldn't have believed for a thousand galleons that I would discover that Snape was my brother.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Dumbledore called.

The door opened and to my surprise and…embarrassment, Snape came in. He stopped short upon seeing me there and fixed me with a suspicious expression. Seeing him made me feel even sicker. The image of his dead body in my mind seemed stronger than ever.

"Armilla, what are-"

"Sit down, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted. "Nothing is wrong. It was I who invited Armilla up here."

Snape stared from me to the Headmaster, still looking a bit apprehensive. Finally he relented, and sat down in the chair next to me.

"Lemon drop, Severus?"

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "No thankyou, Headmaster."

"Well, then," Dumbledore began, leaning back in his chair as he surveyed the two of us. "I was just talking to Armilla and her friends down in the Charms classroom, Severus, and I invited Armilla up here for a chat."

Snape narrowed his eyes as he turned to look at me. "What were you and your friends doing in the Charms classroom?"

"Lisa was getting a book," I explained. "We had permission to be there."

"I was coming along that corridor Severus, when I heard Mr Boot laughing," Dumbledore went on. "Always happy to hear a good joke, I wandered in to investigate. To my surprise, I found the three of them in the storeroom. Mr Boot had just vanished a boggart, you see, and his Riddikulus charm must have been quite humorous."

"Indeed," said Snape dryly.

"Armilla found the boggart, Severus."

Snape looked sharply at me. "Did she?"

I said nothing. I wasn't about to tell Snape that I had come across his dead body in the Charms storeroom.

"She did," Dumbledore replied softly.

Snape continued to look at me, his expression now unfathomable, but I offered no information.

"Did you know Armilla," said Dumbledore suddenly, "that Severus here found a boggart not long ago?"

"Headmaster," said Snape urgently, as he looked back at Dumbledore, his black eyes flashing with anger.

I also looked back at Dumbledore, at a loss for words. Snape had also found a boggart?

"You didn't know that, Armilla?" asked Dumbledore, quite calmly.

Snape's expression now looked venomous.

"No, sir," I said quietly.

"Why didn't you tell her about it, Severus?"

Snape glowered at Dumbledore. "We have spoken about this, Headmaster," he said through clenched teeth. I could almost feel the anger radiating from his body. "I have no wish to tell Armilla."

The Headmaster stared at him. "Well, I must say, that _is_ interesting." He turned to face me again. "Severus' boggart changed Armilla, after having taken the same form for so many years."

"Headmaster!" Snape snapped, now getting to his feet. "I do _not_ wish to discuss this."

Dumbledore did not look taken aback in the least. Instead he interlaced his hands on his desk and looked up at Snape.

"Very well, Severus. But in that case, I wouldn't expect Armilla to tell you about _her_ boggart. That wouldn't be fair now, would it?"

Realising that he was being manipulated, and by a Gryffindor at that, Snape clenched his hands into fists, looking enraged.

"I suggest you either sit down, Severus, or take Armilla to the Quidditch game and say no more about any of this."

Snape glared at both of us, and the look on his face told me that he dearly wanted to hurl something at the Headmaster. Quite abruptly, he sat down again. So he did really want to know what my boggart was, enough to reveal what his own boggart was.

"Why don't you tell your sister what your boggart has been for many years, Severus?" said Dumbledore serenely, watching Snape closely.

Snape didn't say anything at first, and I wondered if he would answer at all. Finally he spoke. He stared straight ahead, not making eye contact with either of us. "The Dark Lord Triumphant."

Well, that was fair enough. That would have been an awful thing to see. Even through the years when the majority of the wizarding world had believed the Dark Lord to be finished, his triumph had still been Snape's boggart.

"But the boggart has changed now, Armilla," Dumbledore announced, still watching Snape, who seemed to be pretending that we weren't there in the room with him. He kept staring, or rather, _glaring_, straight ahead.

"Imagine, Armilla," Dumbledore went on, "what you saw, and then reverse it for your brother."

The reverse? If I had seen Snape dead, then he must have seen…_me_ dead. He now feared my death more than You-Know-Who's triumph?

At Dumbledore's words, Snape broke out of his feigned indifference and looked sharply at me.

"You saw me dead?"

"You saw _me_ dead?"

Neither of us answered. We just continued to stare at each other.

"Well," said Dumbledore cheerfully, clapping his hands together. "There's nothing like having boggarts prove your regard for each other." He stood up. "I'm off to the Quidditch match. I'll leave you two to it then."

A moment later he was gone, and my brother and I were still staring at each other.

"When did you find it?" I asked softly, feeling terribly sick. My mind kept replaying the moment I walked into the Charms storeroom.

He blinked as he looked away. "While you were at Father's house. I found it in a cupboard in the staffroom."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He cast me a dour look. "Would you have told me about the boggart you found today?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Well then, it would seem that we're both at fault."

I suddenly got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got to throw up," I said hastily. The nearest bathroom was several minutes away from Dumbledore's office.

Snape didn't seem at all surprised. "Come," he said. "Quickly." I followed him up the stairs and watched as he performed a strange wand movement. It seemed like nothing happened, but Snape suddenly took my hand and started walking quickly. "Hold it in," he muttered. We kept walking and we were suddenly in a corridor that I knew wasn't really in Dumbledore's office. I had been in this corridor before…ages and ages ago. It led to the Secret Wing, the place where I had discovered Mother's ring.

We walked very quickly and before long we were in the familiar corridor outside the room I had stayed in for several days the year before after Shar's attack.

I ran into the room and headed straight to the bathroom, where I was promptly violently sick. Trying to stop, I kept occluding in an attempt to push the memory of a dead Snape from my mind. After seeing such a horrific thing, it wasn't easy to do.

I had been sick in this bathroom before, after finding out about my parents. And Snape had come into my bedroom, demanding for me to get out of the bathroom. So much had happened since then, and yet here I was, being sick into the same toilet.

After I had stopped, Snape came in to find me sitting on the floor next to the toilet.

"I didn't mean to be so weak," I said, feeling guilty.

He sat down on the edge of the bath. "Well I certainly won't condemn it," he said quietly. "I did the same thing after I saw my boggart."

I stared up at him in shock. He was normally so collected. I couldn't imagine him rushing off to be sick, even on my account.

"I can't get the image out of my mind," I said softly, my eyes brimming with tears. I had stopped occluding for Snape's sake when he came in. He didn't like me occluding in front of him.

He shook his head, looking quite lost himself, a sight which was certainly unnerving. "No, it certainly lingers."

We were both silent for a moment.

I flushed the toilet and then waved my wand at it, casting a cleaning spell. Sitting back again, I wiped my eyes.

Again, we sat in silence. Both of us were in vulnerable positions, having found out what the other feared the most. And it made each of us uncomfortable to think that the other worried about living life without the other.

Finally, Snape stood up and held out a hand to pull me up as well. Getting up, I followed him back into the bedroom.

"This room brings back memories," I said, sitting on the bed.

Snape was also looking around the room. "It certainly does," he said softly. "You were the first child I ever baby-sat." He sneered suddenly, and I knew from that that he was becoming himself again. "And not the best behaved child, I might add."

I smiled. I couldn't argue with that. I had done things that had certainly made him angry at the time. "If I _had_ been well-behaved, I would never have gone exploring and I would still be Armilla Kemp."

Snape looked thoughtful as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"You would not have had to put up with Father," he said.

I nodded. "But I would never have known _you_, either."

"You knew me before," he scoffed.

"No, I didn't," I said, looking up at him. "I didn't know you at all."

He stared at me for a moment before staring in front of him again. This seemed to be what he did when he felt uncomfortable. He had always comforted me when I felt uncomfortable. He always seemed too proud and collected to be in need of comfort himself.

I slipped my hand in his and squeezed it.

If he was surprised by this action, he didn't show it. But nor did he shake my hand away. He kept staring straight ahead.

"You know," he said quietly, after we had sat there like that for some time. "What the Headmaster said just now was incorrect. I didn't need a boggart to prove my regard for you."

"No," I said softly. "Nor did I."

He finally looked back at me, his black eyes like endless tunnels. "I'm not one for expressing such…Hufflepuff emotions, you know," he went on, his voice barely audible. "But you must know that I…" _Love _must have been such a foreign word for him to use.

I nodded as I looked back at him. "Yes," I whispered, "I know. And I…" I broke off too, and I had no idea why.

Snape moved his hand and placed it over my bracelet, and warmth shot through me in the same way it must have shot through him. 'Yes,' he whispered back, his face still unfathomable. "…I do know…" And he said no more. He didn't really need to.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Thanks for reading. I'd love it if you could leave me a review – even just a few words are always appreciated.

You are also invited to visit the Armilla forum at any time – I generally leave updates there about when the next chapter will be out. You can also talk to the characters there if you want to have a bit of fun. The link to it is on my profile page.

Quote reference: thankyou to William Mizner, George Bernard Shaw and Lyndon B. Johnson, whose quotes I lovingly adapted for Terry and Snape's use.


	58. Getting to Know You

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 57

After leaving the Secret Wing on Saturday afternoon, Snape and I didn't discuss our boggarts again. It was enough that we understood each other, but neither of us fancied taking time to talk about it. As Snape had said, he was not one for expressing Hufflepuff emotions and I certainly was not one for sentimentality. Of course I felt these emotions, but I was also not one for declaring it to the world proudly.

When I saw him again on Sunday afternoon, it was business as usual, and both of us avoided mentioning what had happened the day before. Fortunately, when we went up to Dumbledore's office to visit Mother, she was none the wiser about the boggarts because Dumbledore had respected our privacy and had not told her. I was glad that she didn't know. She would be anxious if she knew that Snape and I were worrying about losing each other.

On Sunday night, Snape and I practised duelling again in the sitting room. Again, I was trying my best to maintain my mental shield and cast a hex at the same time. It was extraordinarily difficult and I ended up on the floor more times than I would have liked. I could get as far as holding the shield still in my mind and casting the hex, but as soon as the magic left my body my mind kept trying to focus solely on the hex reaching the opponent, thus weakening my shield.

"I don't know what to do," I grumbled, getting up from the floor for the seventh time that night.

"Try not being so frustrated," Snape replied. "Getting annoyed about it won't improve things."

"Maybe I'm not ready to cast hexes at the same time," I said quietly, trying not to let my irritation show on my face. I was feeling very grumpy, not to mention very bruised.

"_I_ will decide if you are ready," he said smoothly, sneering slightly. "What you are trying to achieve is far more complicated than mastering Occlumency. You're training your mind to do two forms of advanced magic at once. It takes getting used to, I assure you."

I sighed. "Well, I'm not getting very far."

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were more observant than that, Armilla. Your mind is taking longer and longer each time to give in. As a result, you take longer to fall. It won't be long before you manage it. Surely you can see that?"

Slowly, I nodded. It was just frustrating to take so long to get something right. I was not the most patient person in the world.

"But can't you try using a hex that won't make me end up on the floor?"

"It's not the hexes I'm using," he said, his eyes narrowing. "It's the reaction you have when your shield gives way. The magical energy you are trying to surround yourself with is thrown back into you when your mind rejects the shield."

Resigned to this, I conjured up some big blue cushions and directed them to lay behind me on the floor. This way I would have a soft landing.

"I believe you are making progress," Snape went on, now smirking slightly at my cushions, "no matter how bruised your behind is. How very thoughtful of you."

I tried not to smile.

"Why are your cushions blue?" he asked, still staring at them.

"I like blue," I said simply.

"It clashes with the décor of the room."

He was right. The sofa and armchairs were dark green and my dark blue cushions didn't match at all.

"Would you like me to conjure green ones next time?"

He cast me a dour look. "No. Stick to the blue then."

I raised my wand. "Well, let's go again."

"Fine," he said airily, raising his wand too. "_Tarantallegra_!"

We continued for another ten minutes, and I ended up on the floor countless times. Snape was right – it was taking longer and longer for my mind to give way, but falling down so hard each time wasn't the best experience, even if the cushions did make a softer landing.

"We're going to stop soon," said Snape, as I picked myself up off the floor yet again, panting slightly. I felt as if I had just had the wind knocked out of me.

I nodded, clutching my wand tightly as I raised it again.

Snape also raised his wand. "_Tarantallegra_!"

I already had my shield up and it wavered only slightly as Snape's hex tried to get through.

He had fired another three hexes before I felt confident enough to attempt casting one of my own. My shield hadn't wavered at all with the last three hexes and I was determined to keep it up and cast something at the same time.

As Snape cast yet another hex, I cast one of my own.

"_Trebuchiero!"_

_"Rictusempra!"_

I saw light streak out from my wand towards Snape as light from his wand shot out at me. I concentrated hard on the shield, whilst willing the magic I was directing through my wand to continue. I felt pressure in my mental shield as Snape's hex tried to get through, and I focused harder than ever on the shield, hoping my own hex had been successful.

Finally the pressure stopped…and I was left standing up!

"Not getting very far, are you?" Snape said sarcastically. "What do you call this then?"

"Slight progress?" I offered, smiling at him.

He shook his head at me. "Well it would seem that you are still standing, Armilla," he said dryly. "I do believe that is an improvement from landing on the floor."

"Was my hex alright?" I asked.

"No, it was weak," he answered, shaking his head again. "But no matter," he added hastily, obviously not wanting me to lose faith. "It wasn't the strength of the hex that you were practising, but being able to hold the shield and cast a hex at the same time. Once you are confident in that, you can focus on strengthening your hexes."

"Let's keep going then," I said, wanting to prove to myself that I could do it again, and that it hadn't just been luck.

"I think not." Snape waved his wand and directed the furniture back into place. "You've practised more than enough for one night." He sat down in one of the armchairs.

I didn't bother arguing about it. I knew from experience that once the man had made up his mind that was it. I pointed my wand at my blue cushions, intending to vanish them.

"You may as well leave those there," Snape said, glancing over at me as he reached for _The_ _Evening Prophet_, "just until we're confident that you won't need them anymore."

"I thought they clashed," I said innocently.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh well," he said dryly. "It might look as if a Ravenclaw lives here too."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

Monday morning turned out to be a most amusing affair. As usual, I walked up to the Great Hall with Snape from the dungeons and we parted at the entrance.

I met Lisa and Terry at the Ravenclaw table and we were only about five minutes into breakfast when Anthony Goldstein, who was sitting on my left, gestured over to the Gryffindor table.

"Potter seems to have a lot of owls this morning."

We all paused to glance over at the Gryffindor table, where, as Anthony had pointed out, there were five owls on the table in front of Harry, all looking determined to have their mail taken first. Harry looked stunned as he reached for one of the letters. It seemed all the Gryffindors were just as amazed, for they had stopped eating to watch the commotion around Harry.

"Wonder what that's about," said Terry, turning back to his breakfast and yawning widely. "Can't be fan mail."

"No," said Lisa, shaking her head. "_The Daily Prophet_ only reports bad things about him."

"Oh, it has nothing to do with _The Daily Prophet_," said a dreamy voice.

It was Luna Lovegood, who was sitting on the other side of Anthony. She gazed at us, her eyes even wider than usual. "Harry did an interview for my father's magazine. I expect those letters are from the readers."

"_The Quibbler_?" said Mandy Brocklehurst, who was sitting opposite Luna. "That's your father's magazine, isn't it?"

"Yes. Harry did an interview for Rita Skeeter in Hogsmeade."

"Rita Skeeter?" Terry repeated. "Blimey, I haven't seen anything from her in ages."

"Well, that's a good thing," Michael Corner muttered. "The stuff she writes is complete-"

"Oh she agreed readily enough to do _this_ interview," Luna interrupted. "It's a very special one, after all."

"Special?" Lisa looked doubtful. "But isn't _The Quibbler_ full of…erm…alternative stuff?"

Luna gazed at Lisa, not blinking. "No," she said smoothly, as if Lisa was a small child who needed something simple explained to her. "My father prints strictly academic and well-researched material. This interview is a very special case. Harry Potter had his chance to report the truth about You-Know-Who."

She reached into her schoolbag and pulled out a copy of _The Quibbler_. We all squeezed closer together to get a good look at the cover.

Harry's face was smiling awkwardly, and there were big red letters spread across the photo.

_HARRY POTTER SPEAKS OUT AT LAST:_

_THE TRUTH ABOUT HE WHO SHOULD NOT BE NAMED_

_AND THE NIGHT I SAW HIM RETURN_

"Have a read," Luna said, as she got up. "I'm going to see what Dad's readers had to say to Harry. Farewell."

She drifted away towards the Gryffindor table. Sometimes I got the impression that she floated rather than walked.

"I'll read it aloud," said Anthony, picking up the magazine.

A few minutes later when he had finished, people seemed to be in mixed minds about the article. It was all about the night the year before when Harry had faced Voldemort after securing the Tri-Wizard Cup with Cedric Diggory. He had even named Death Eaters. Harry knew that Snape had been a Death Eater, but he hadn't named him, even though he did loathe him.

"It seems very dramatic," said Marietta Edgecombe, looking sour.

"Well, it _is_ Rita Skeeter," Padma Patil stated.

"Even so, how could one write about a meeting with You-Know-Who and not make it dramatic?" Mandy pointed out.

"You're right, of course it would be dramatic," said Anthony, nodding as he put down the magazine. "It wouldn't have been a walk in the park for Potter, would it?"

"You believe him then?" asked Padma.

"Yeah, of course. My family supports Dumbledore one hundred percent. He said last year that You-Know-Who returned and we believed him. The Ministry is hushing it up."

"The Ministry do what it right," Marietta snapped.

"You think Potter is mad then, do you?" Michael demanded.

Marietta suddenly looked nervous. "I just think that he should support the ministry," she said quietly. "It seems he's just drawing attention to himself."

"You're barking, Marietta," said Terry, shaking his head at her.

"Leave her alone, Boot." Cho Chang snapped. "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion."

"What do _you _think, Armilla?" Anthony asked, turning to face me.

Suddenly all eyes were upon me. I couldn't tell them what I really thought, that I thought it was great that Potter had done such a thing and I couldn't wait for Umbridge to have a heart attack about it. But I had my position to consider. Whatever I said could travel back to the staff, or worse, to the Slytherin table, and subsequently, my father.

"I think that Umbridge will do her very best to have Harry expelled over this," I said smoothly, hoping to send the conversation in this direction. Fortunately at that moment, I caught sight of Umbridge questioning Harry over at the Gryffindor table. She looked far from pleased. "Look," I whispered, gesturing towards their table.

Thankfully, all the heads turned away from me to face Harry again.

"Oh, Potter's in for it now," Michael murmured.

"Umbridge looks like she might breathe fire," Lisa whispered, as Umbridge's face turned purple as she looked at the front page of _The Quibbler_.

"Very sneaky," Terry muttered. "But good show, Potter!"

As expected, by mid-morning one could not walk more than ten metres without coming across a sign for a new decree.

_BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS_

_Any student found in possession of the magazine_

The Quibbler_ will be expelled._

_The above is in accordance with Educational Decree_

_Number Twenty-seven._

_Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor_

I smiled to myself every time I saw one of the signs. Umbridge couldn't really stop students reading the magazine. The students who were daring enough to carry a copy of the article had bewitched it to resemble something else.

I caught sight of Umbridge during morning break singling out students at random and demanding that they empty their pockets. I steered clear of her, enough though I wasn't carrying a copy. I _was_ carrying my chocolate frog card as usual, and I didn't want Umbridge touching it.

I was joined by Hermione that afternoon while I was waiting on the line outside the Arithmancy classroom.

"Hi, Armilla," she said breathlessly. It was no wonder she was out of breath after hauling her schoolbag around the castle. She always seemed to have dozens of books in there.

"Hi, Hermione. Did you end up finding the books you were looking for the other night?"

I had recommended that she look for books she needed for homework in the Room of Requirement.

Her eyes lit up. "Yes, it worked! I found those Potions books in there as well as all these others that were a great help." She suddenly sighed. "Hopefully Professor Snape will think I've done a good job on the essay."

"Don't you do a good job on every essay?"

She nodded. "I put my heart and soul into everything, Armilla. I need the good marks."

I stared at her and she suddenly looked uncomfortable. "You know I'm muggle-born, Armilla. My parents were a bit sceptical about letting me come to Hogwarts. They told me before I started first year that they would withdraw me and send me to the private school they had been planning on if I didn't do well at Hogwarts."

I stared at her. "Do they still put that sort of pressure on you?"

"Oh, they aren't awful about it," she said hastily. "They just thought it might all be a waste of time if I didn't do well. They were shocked beyond belief when they found out I was a witch."

I smiled. "Well, it would be a hard thing to deal with considering witches aren't supposed to exist."

She laughed. "They thought I was playing a practical joke on them at first. A plea for attention probably."

"Why would you need a plea for attention?"

"Oh, well, my parents are very busy people. They're dentists, you know, and they work very long hours. Even when I was at a muggle school I only really saw them on the weekend. The kids at school thought I was weird because I made strange things happen every now and then."

"That must have been lonely," I said quietly, really feeling sorry for her. I knew Hermione wasn't telling me this in the hope of receiving my pity. She wasn't that sort of girl.

She shrugged. "Well, I was so glad when I got my Hogwarts letter. It was like a light suddenly coming on in my life. Things suddenly made sense. I had to convince my parents to let me come, and so I'm only still here because my marks are good."

"You get good marks in Potions though, don't you?"

She considered this for a moment. "Yeah, I do," she said thoughtfully. "But it always comes at the expense of having my ego insulted. Snape always has some sort of remark to imply that I'm a know-it-all."

"I wouldn't worry about that," I assured her, hoping that Snape never consulted the insults book I had given him when it came to marking Hermione's work. "Just focus on the mark."

She nodded. "I do." She looked thoughtful again. "Armilla," she said slowly. "Does your brother approve of you talking to me?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that," I said quietly.

Hermione frowned. "By that, I feel like you've already answered my question."

I shook my head. "I _can_ talk to you. He didn't say I couldn't."

Hermione nodded in understanding. "You just need to have caution because of your position…and Snape's position."

I nodded. "It's dangerous," I whispered.

"I'm already in danger anyway," she said softly. "That comes with being friends with Harry Potter…but I understand that you can't be seen being friendly all the time with a muggle-born, especially one who is friends with Harry."

"Exactly."

We were both silent for a few moments, watching the students around us chatter. Finally I turned to face her again.

"I do want to be friends though," I whispered, "even if it is only during class."

Hermione smiled. "I'd like that."

o o o o o o o o o o o

"Am I to assume that you have found a way to read _The Quibbler_?" Snape asked on Tuesday evening, when we were sitting at the table in the sitting room.

We had just finished going through my homework together, both of us having groaned when I had pulled out my History of Magic work. Snape hated going over the goblin rebellions as much as I did.

"It was read aloud at our table during breakfast yesterday," I answered, "before it was banned."

"And what did you think?" He seemed genuinely curious about my reaction to it.

"About the content of the article or Harry's move to do the interview?"

"Both."

"The content didn't have much that was new to me," I said thoughtfully. "But I think it was risky for him to do the interview in the first place. Perhaps it's a good thing in the long run, but he must have known that Umbridge would find out about it."

Snape inclined his head. "Certainly. That is the risk he took though."

"What did you think about it?"

He didn't answer at first. He rubbed his arm absent-mindedly in the place where I knew his Dark Mark was.

"Initially I was surprised that Potter submitted to doing an interview with that Skeeter woman," he said. "She's written some wild tales about him in the past-"

"Didn't you read one of them aloud in class?" I asked, admittedly very daringly, thinking of the _Harry Potter's Secret Heartache_ article. I had heard the Gryffindors saying that Snape had read it aloud in class. And I had agreed with the other Ravenclaws who heard about it that the Potions Master was a sadistic git.

Snape looked sharply at me, but he couldn't really deny it.

"I did," he answered, his lip curling. "But that is beside the point. Potter was obviously willing to make the sacrifice to have his story heard."

"Do you think it's a good thing that he did?"

He sighed. "Well, loathed as I am to admit it, I do. People will sit up and start paying attention now, whether they believe him or not. The article would have stirred things up at the Ministry, and in all wizarding households."

I smiled. "But you'd never tell Harry that you thought it was a good thing?"

He sneered. "Of course not. I'm not about to hand him presents or award him House points for the sake of it like other members of staff." He rolled his eyes. "I'd sooner accuse him of doing the interview so he could increase his fan count."

I nodded. That sounded like the Snape thing to do.

"Harry didn't name you as a Death Eater," I commented, watching him closely.

He looked back at me with an expression of indifference. "That's not loyalty to me," he said dryly. "It's loyalty to Dumbledore."

"Do you think he trusts you?"

Snape snorted. "I couldn't care less. It is not my dearest wish to invite Potter's confidences."

I frowned. "That could be a disadvantage though, couldn't it? What if you were both in a dire situation where you had to rely on each other?"

Now it was Snape's turn to frown. "I would hope that I would never have to rely on _Potter_ for anything."

"I didn't mean it like that-"

He waved a hand aside, looking indifferent again. "Forget it. Besides, it would not be at all sagacious on my part to give Potter too much reason to trust me."

"With children of Death Eaters watching, you mean?" I asked, thinking of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You and I are the children of a Death Eater, Armilla. Not all children from dark families share the same beliefs as their parents. Do not think of comparing us to the Malfoys."

I flushed. "I won't," I muttered.

He nodded. "And in any case, with or without _certain_ children of Death Eaters around, Potter's big head would not be enjoying any kindness from _me_."

"Because of his dad?" I said softly. I knew I was treading on dangerous ground. Harry had mentioned Snape hating his dad and Sirius Black when we had been talking at Grimmauld Place. He had said that the feeling was mutual and had advised that I didn't bring the subject up with Snape if I didn't want to see the vein in his temple start throbbing.

Snape pursed his lips as he surveyed me through narrowed eyes. I waited for a rebuke for daring to bring up a subject that I knew he didn't wish to discuss.

"Potter is terribly like his father," he said, his face hard. "I find it virtually impossible to look at that boy and not see the face I loathed so much at school-"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Snape cut me off.

"- and I _don't _wish to discuss school," he said sharply.

"I wasn't going to," I said quietly.

Snape looked quite ill-tempered as he sat back with his arms folded, glaring at the table.

"Potter is arrogant and reckless, just like his father was," he said scornfully. "I feel no guilt at all in treating him the way I do."

I stared at him. I knew Harry was reckless and had a questionable temper, but I had never known him to be cruel. I would never have described him as an awful person who deserved nothing more than Snape's contempt.

As if feeling my gaze, Snape stopped staring at the table and looked back at me, his black eyes intense.

"You do not agree," he said slowly, as if measuring his words.

"I suppose it's not my place to say," I said evenly. "I do not know all the history between you and James Potter, so I cannot have an informed opinion."

"Ever the diplomat," he drawled, sneering slightly.

"Fine," I said, feeling irritated. "I don't know what James Potter was, but I _do_ know that Harry is not nasty or disdainful, no matter how reckless he is. He gets himself into trouble because he cares too much. He needs to learn Occlumency more than I do."

Snape's eyes flashed as he broke eye contact with me to stare at the air in front of him.

I knew that I had angered him, and I always felt uncomfortable when I did. But even so, I was glad that I had expressed my opinion to him.

"You know, sometimes it's hard to avoid being impartial or agreeing with you," I said slowly, when several moments of silence had passed. "I don't like offending you."

Snape was still silent, obviously lost in thought.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to take on or consider your opinions when I can't put myself in your place," I continued softly, "I don't know enough about you to do that."

Now it was Snape's turn to stare at me.

"You know plenty about me," he said quietly, still looking indifferent.

I said nothing. I wasn't really sure where this conversation was leading to now anyway. It had all started with talking about _The Quibbler_.

Snape sighed, and he suddenly looked tired. "In order to tell you about James Potter I'll have to educate you on our family history."

I just nodded. I figured that being silent was the best thing to do.

He rubbed his temples, and I tried not to smile when I was reminded of what Harry had said about them. He got up and gestured for me to join him on the sofa.

"Our mother was the daughter of Clotilde McHutchinson and Fitzwilliam Merrigan," he began, when I had sat down next to him, "who were from respectable pureblood families. Fitzwilliam inherited the Merrigan Estate upon his father's death back in 1952. At that stage, Clotilde, our grandmother, had already died, leaving Fitzwilliam to raise our mother." Snape stopped and gazed at me for a moment. "Has Mother already told you about her father?"

I nodded. Mother had told me about her father in the Secret Wing, on the same day I had found about Snape being my brother. "She said that his health was declining in the years after she left Hogwarts and he was desperate to have her marry a pureblood wizard before he died."

Snape nodded curtly. "Fitzwilliam was never a dark wizard, but he did not believe marrying into muggle families. When he chose our father, he knew little about how dark the Snape family was. Our father's family acted in disguise, in very much the same way the Malfoy family does now."

"Fitzwilliam died not long after they were married didn't he?"

"He died in 1960, shortly after I was born." Snape went quiet again, clearly thinking about where he wanted to continue.

"Being the only Merrigan child, our mother inherited the Merrigan Estate," he went on, "and the House of Merrigan, which remained pure, died with Fitzwilliam as there were no more male heirs. Though it is still called the Merrigan Estate, it is now listed under the name Snape." Snape sighed. "And this is where the problem began."

"Problem?"

He nodded. "Our grandfather, Fitzwilliam Merrigan, was one of two children. He had a younger sister named Lucia."

I smiled. "That's a nice name."

Snape gave the tiniest smile. "Mother was fond of her aunt. I suppose it was that Lucia you were named after, considering she's the only other Lucia in the family. Anyway, Lucia was not the heiress to the Merrigan Estate of course, being the younger child, and so it was that the Estate would be passed onto our Mother, and then onto me."

I nodded. I was grateful that I had pushed hard enough for information, though I had never expected to get some more family history. And I was very interested in my namesake.

"As much as my mother and her Aunt Lucia were fond of each other, Lucia did not approve of Fitzwilliam's choice of husband for her niece. Lucia knew more about Aurelius Snape and did not trust him from the beginning. As you know, Mother's first few years of marriage were not enjoyable, and after her father died, things only got worse. Father did not approve of Mother's close relationship with Lucia and forbade Mother to communicate with her. Lucia came to resent the Snape family even more and was furious that the Merrigan Estate was not used as a family home."

I frowned. "You generally always lived at Snape Manor, didn't you?"

He nodded. "Mother lived at Snape Manor after her marriage, but she still owned the Merrigan Estate and would still stay there sometimes when Father was away on business. Mother and Lucia still found a means to communicate and Lucia soon found out that Mother had very little say in the upbringing of her child."

I stared at him, trying not to let any pity cross my face. "Lucia thought you were going to be like Father?"

Again, he just nodded. "She told Mother over and over again to leave Father and take me with her. But Mother was too afraid to leave, in case she was found out." Snape gave me a significant look. "You could imagine how Father would have reacted if he had known about all this?"

"I have an idea," I murmured.

"But Mother stayed, even though she was unhappy, and she was distressed further when Lucia suddenly died in 1975, in my fifth year. Since Mother and Lucia supposedly weren't communicating, Mother couldn't go to the funeral."

"That's awful."

Snape merely grunted. "Well, Mother _did_ have the courage to leave eventually, after Lucia's death of course. I suppose that is why Mother gave you that name."

I nodded. It felt nice to have the name of another family member who my mother had loved so much. I wondered why Mother had never mentioned all this to me.

"Lucia had accepted over the years that I might turn out alright," Snape continued. "Her son was not so acquiescent. He believed that since the Merrigan Estate was rarely used by the Snape family, it should have been passed over to _their_ family. They were ashamed to be associated with a dark family like the Snapes, and they believed the Merrigan Estate was being tarnished. It was a mortal sin in their opinion that the Estate was to be passed onto a _Snape_."

"As opposed to a…?"

Snape leaned back and folded his arms. "As opposed to a Potter," he said simply.

Whoah! I couldn't believe it! "We're related to the Potters?"

He sneered. "Through marriage. Our Great Aunt Lucia married Christian Potter. They had one son, Charlus, who married Dorea Nigellus…and they had one son…guess who?"

"James Potter," I said quietly.

Snape was still sneering. "Our great-grandparents are the great-great-grandparents of the Boy-Who-Just-Keeps-On-Living."

Suddenly, everything fell into place. "So Charlus Potter, Lucia's son…was the father of James…He and James both felt that you weren't worthy of inheriting the Merrigan Estate?"

Snape inclined his head. "Though the House of Merrigan was no more, they felt the Estate would be used as a place for dark magic since the Snape family had access to it through my mother. They were wrong. Father never expressed a great deal of interest in the Merrigan Estate."

"But they resented _you_ then?" I said softly.

"Of course they did," he said bitterly, his dark eyes flashing. "If Mother had never had children, Father would not have gotten the Estate after she died. The passing down of the Estate dictates that the owner must have Merrigan blood." Snape paused again, looking angry. I got the feeling that he was reliving a memory.

"James Potter repeatedly told anyone who would listen that he had a problem with my _existence_. Had I not existed, the Potters would have inherited the Estate upon Mother's death."

"Hold on," I said suddenly. "If the Estate can only be passed down to someone with Merrigan blood, then that means that-"

"Harry Potter would have inherited our house upon my death," he finished, scowling.

We were both silent for a moment. I couldn't believe that Harry had been next in line to the Merrigan Estate after Snape.

Snape suddenly smirked. "I'm glad you came along, Armilla. It feels good to be able to push a Potter back down the line."

I smiled. "You know, I would have thought that it would have been reason enough for you to have children so you wouldn't have had to give the house to Harry."

Snape gave a small smile. "I'm not father material, Armilla."

"So if _I_ don't have children, Harry or any family he might have will inherit the Estate after me?"

"That's correct." He snorted. "No pressure then."

I laughed. "Does Harry know about all this?"

He shook his head. "I don't believe he does. I have no wish to inform him that we're distantly related. Personally, I try not to think about it."

I was grateful that Snape had decided to give me this information. Now at least I understood why Snape and James Potter hadn't liked each other. Still, I didn't think Harry deserved to be treated the way he was. I wondered if Snape had hated Harry's mother too.

"What was Harry's mother like?"

Snape flinched, clearly not expecting such a question. "Lily?" he said, his eyes glittering.

I nodded. I was surprised that Snape had called her by her first name. He shifted slightly, as if he couldn't get comfortable, but his face resumed its usual expression of indifference.

"She was-" He stopped, rubbing his arm absent-mindedly again. He was silent for a moment. "She was a muggle-born," he said finally. "Very clever…and-" he paused again, looking in front of him. "There's really not much to say," he said flatly.

I didn't press the subject. Snape seemed oddly flushed. I was suddenly thinking back to the day I had met Rougier at Father's house. He had been talking to Rougier about Hogwarts having 'common louts' amongst the student population.

_"I'm sure even Severus might have had an eye for those lesser than his position as a pureblood wizard."_

I believed I had just unearthed a secret. Not that Snape was likely to admit to it.

"I'm glad you told me about the Potters," I said seriously, changing the subject for his sake.

Snape sneered again. "I knew I would have to eventually. You're too inquisitive for your own good."

"Well, at least I know more about you…and the family now."

He narrowed his eyes, the flush beginning to fade from his face. "Like I said, you know plenty about me."

"I know what chocolate you like and I know what your Patronus is and what your Boggart is," I said. "And that you don't like Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs…I think that's about it."

He glared at me, though I could tell he was only half-hearted about it.

He cleared his throat. "My favourite colour is black."

I stared at him, narrowing my own eyes now. "Really?" I said, trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice.

"Indeed. And yours is blue, correct?"

"Correct," I replied.

"I don't like capsicums."

I smiled. "Me neither. I don't like pasta."

He frowned. "Why on earth not?"

He didn't wait for an answer. "I prefer red wine to white."

I grinned. "So do I."

He frowned, looking a bit shocked. "You're not old enough to have a preference!"

I shrugged.

"Well, you won't be getting any wine from _me_ in the near future," he muttered.

I ignored him. "I hate cats."

"That makes two of us," he said sneeringly. "Just don't mention that to Minerva McGonagall. I hate the Hogwarts School Song; it makes me want to burst my own ear drums."

"I'm not patient," I said.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I _know_."

I laughed. "If I could play Quidditch, I'd be a Chaser."

"I couldn't play Quidditch to save my life," he scoffed, "but I'd have a go at Beater. I'd knock Potter's head off…by accident of course."

o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Thanks for reading. Please spare a moment to go a review – even a few words make my day.

For Armilla Yahoo Site members: See Snape and Armilla's Family Tree. I had a family tree for Hazel's side of the family worked out ages ago (though I changed a few names when J.K. released part of the Black Family Tree). Anyway, if you'd like to see it, I posted it at the Armilla Yahoo site (see my profile page for the link). It was too big to post on the main page, so go through to the Photos section and go into the second album. Make sure you click on Large or you won't see the dates!


	59. A Proposition

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 58

"And so Dumbledore brought in a _centaur_ to replace Trelawney? I bet that Umbridge woman now has her wand in a knot." Mother's eyes were wide with eagerness to hear more of the tale of the scandal in the Entrance Hall a few days before.

It was a cool Sunday night in March, and Snape and I had gone up to Dumbledore's office as usual to visit Mother. We had wasted no time in telling Mother all about Trelawney's abrupt dismissal.

My friends and I had been apart of the crowd that had gathered in the Entrance Hall when rumour had quickly spread that some sort of commotion was going on there. Umbridge had decided to unceremoniously fire Trelawney in front of a large audience. Though most students and teachers had little respect for Trelawney's vague discipline and questionable teaching ability, I was certain that those who supported Umbridge's decision to dump a fellow member of staff in such a way were in the minority.

"Yes," said Snape, inclining his head. "Dumbledore brought in a centaur named Firenze, who has no doubt been banished from the forest by his kind now for agreeing to work for a wizard."

Mother frowned. "And what of that poor woman? Did she have to leave then?"

"No," he answered. "Dumbledore made it perfectly clear that it was his right to send people away from the castle, and he wished Trelawney to remain."

"For what reason?" Mother peered up at Snape, a bewildered expression on her face. "Surely if the woman has been sacked she can be of no more use to the school?"

Snape looked indifferent. "I suppose the Headmaster has his reasons."

"I wonder what they are," she went on, now looking thoughtful. "There must be something special about Trelawney to make Dumbledore want to keep her in the castle." She let out a hollow laugh. "Why else would one want to keep a _Divination_ teacher?"

"I suggest you ask Dumbledore," Snape said shortly, looking impatient.

Mother narrowed her eyes at her son. "Touchy subject, Severus?"

Now it was Snape's turn to narrow his eyes. "No, a rather tedious one, Mother. The affairs of Sybil Trelawney do not hold my interest and they are certainly not worthy of my concern."

Mother sighed. "Severus, when you have a spare moment, I'd like you to read a book on engaging in polite conversation. You don't need to put an end to every subject in such an abrupt, disinterested manner."

Snape's lip curled. "I already know how to do that." He smirked. "My conversation is cultured and sophisticated, as long as the subject in question interests me."

I could tell that Mother was trying not to smile. "Well, then what about a book on how to respect your mother?"

He snorted.

She gave a long-suffering sigh. "Perhaps you should practise not being so short with people then."

Snape looked affronted. "Why do I suddenly feel like I've stumbled into the past?" He leaned back, folding his arms. "Mother," he said, very matter-of-factly, "if I wasn't short with people, I'd be encouraging them to keep talking with me. As that is the last thing I want, given that conversation with the average person lacks any hint of intellect, I believe my current approach to conversation to be suitable."

Mother opened her mouth to reply, but Snape kept talking.

"And here is a subject that will interest you, Mother. I told Armilla all about your family tree not long ago."

I looked over at my brother, feeling a little surprised. Since Snape had told me about being related to the Potters, we hadn't talked about it much. And neither of us had mentioned the subject to Mother.

Mother also looked surprised. "Did you really, Severus?" She suddenly smirked. "Well, about time too!" She turned to face me. "I would have told you all about my extended family sooner, Armilla, but I decided that Severus should share the family history with you." She turned back to her son, a small smile playing about her lips. "Though it took him a lot longer than I had anticipated."

I tried not to smile. I wasn't going to mention to Mother that if I hadn't brought up the topic of James Potter and not knowing much about my brother, I would probably still be completely ignorant about my Great Aunt Lucia's family. It was a strange thought that my namesake was Harry Potter's great grandmother.

"Nevertheless, she knows about our misfortune of being related to the Potters now," Snape said, a pronounced sneer on his face.

"I named you after my Aunt Lucia, Armilla," Mother said, ignoring her son. "She was a beautiful woman. I think you look a bit like her. You have the same dark hair. I got my lighter hair colour from my father."

Snape scoffed. "It is more likely that Armilla got her dark hair from _Father_, not her great aunt."

"I don't like to think that Armilla inherited _any_ traits from Aurelius," she retorted, looking resentful.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Well considering that she does not have your hair colour or your blue eyes, and the fact that Father has dark hair _and_ dark eyes, one would naturally assume that Armilla inherited her colouring from him."

Mother glared up at him. "I know it sounds stupid, Severus, you don't have to point that out to me."

He nodded curtly. "As long as you realise it then."

For a moment I thought that Mother was growling at him, but then she was talking to me again.

"Though Aunt Lucia was dead when I was pregnant with you, the courage it took to leave your father was most certainly drawn from my memories of her. Before her death, she had been trying to convince me to leave Snape Manor for good."

"I daresay Father would have done everything in his power to hunt you down," Snape said bitterly. "You wouldn't have been entirely safe until he was dead."

"And he is showing no signs of aging then?" Mother asked.

"I think he'll live for a long time yet," he responded, not bothering to stop himself from sounding unimpressed about the issue. "He's only sixty-five. He might cause Armilla and I further inconvenience by living for another fifty years or so."

"I hope not," I muttered, before I could stop myself. I had given up thoughts of being dark after my conversation with Snape, but wishing bad things about my father still seemed to come naturally.

Snape didn't look at all surprised at my words. He just glanced at me briefly with a knowing look and then returned his gaze to Mother.

"He is not as subtle as he once was, though," he continued, sneering, "and his curses are still strong, but his reflexes prove themselves questionable at times."

Mother looked pensive for a moment as she stared up at Snape. "I doubt the Dark Lord lets him take part in the more active Death Eater tasks now. His age may hinder him."

"Isn't the Dark Lord older than Father?" I asked, looking from my mother to Snape.

Snape nodded. "Yes, as is Dumbledore. Father possesses great skill and magical ability, but his style in casting spells is nothing like theirs."

Mother also nodded. "I would say that Aurelius' style is not as polished as it could be. He has been innovative in his magic over the years, but he never managed to refine it in the same way as Dumbledore."

"Or the Dark Lord," Snape added. "They both deliver their magic with very pedantic styles. Father isn't a perfectionist like they are."

We were all silent for a moment, considering these words.

"If Father is not as refined in his delivery of spells," I said slowly, "does that mean he would use more magical energy because the magic is not as focused?"

Snape looked approvingly at me. "It does. Very good."

"So he would not possess the same amount of magical energy now that he did years ago?"

He inclined his head. "He can still deliver spells with the same force, as we know, but he is likely to become exhausted at a faster rate than the Dark Lord or Dumbledore. His age would not bother him so much if he had bothered to train his magic more intensively like them."

"He preferred to experiment with magic when he was younger, Armilla," Mother put in, "at the expense of getting to know his own magic properly. Just like a fingerprint, everyone possesses a unique form of magic. Witches and Wizards are taught how to control their magic, but it is up to the individual to spend time practising their magic, getting to know the feeling of it within the body."

"Dumbledore and the Dark Lord were very aware of this at a young age," Snape went on. "They learned how to use their magic in such a way that it caused them little exertion. What the average wizard might consider a draining spell is probably a simple swish and flick for them."

I nodded in understanding. It all made a lot of sense. I could see why some witches and wizards were greater than others. They were more in tune with their magic.

"That is why I teach you such complex spells that rely on the mind's ability to multi-task. Such spells naturally encourage you to feel your magic more than simple first year spells."

"Speaking of complex magic," said Mother, "how is Harry going with his Occlumency lessons, Severus?"

Snape's expressed darkened. "Not well. I don't believe he puts any real effort into practising. I don't know why I bother teaching him when time after time I break into his mind with little effort."

Mother looked worried. "The poor boy must conquer it as soon as possible."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Has Dumbledore been talking with you?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "Don't feel too sorry for him, Mother. He has enough supporters at present to keep his head inflated."

"Has he made no progress at all then?"

Snape's eyes flashed. "He may think he did the other night, but I am more inclined to put it down to a fluke."

"What happened, Severus?" she asked.

"He broke into my memories," he answered, through gritted teeth.

We both stared at him. I had broken into his memories before, back when he had been teaching me Occlumency, but it would be an entirely different experience to have someone you detest see your memories. But then, I supposed that Harry didn't like Snape seeing _his_ memories either. I would have thought that would be enough for Harry to practise day and night.

"Did he see much that bothers you?" I said quietly.

Snape didn't answer straightaway and I knew the answer must be yes. At length, he nodded.

"He saw enough to give him something to think about I suppose," he muttered, not looking at either of us.

"What did he see, Severus?" Mother asked softly, looking concerned.

"He saw you and father…a typical scene really, you being yelled at by father," he said, still not looking at us, "and then just some random things that aren't significant."

Mother grimaced. "I suppose that did give him something to think about." She paused, still frowning up at him. "You've seen lots of Harry's memories though, haven't you?"

He looked indifferent. "Of course I have. He repeatedly fails to stop me from breaking into his mind."

"Well, you must have seen things that he would have preferred that you didn't see," she pointed out.

"Of course I have," he said shortly. He didn't seem to want to offer any more information.

Mother looked at him very seriously. "Has he mentioned anything about seeing your memories?"

He looked sharply at her. "No."

"Have you tried to use _his_ memories against him?"

"No...," he admitted, looking like his thoughts were elsewhere, "and I would rather _not_ stop Occlumency lessons to discuss his disturbing memories."

Mother sighed. "It would be nice to end family quarrels and reconcile with young Mr. Potter," she said, "though I know at the moment, such a notion is unthinkable."

"Yes, because the Dark Lord would just _love_ that," Snape scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Perhaps I should just invite them both over to tea as mutual friends. I'll let Docky make his favourite Neenish Tarts and we'll sit around the table telling our favourite stories and let bygones be bygones."

I shuddered. "I'll pass."

He looked over at me, his black eyes glittering. "Are you quite sure?"

I smiled at him. "I have a fixed engagement with my manicurist. You've been neglecting my nails again."

He nodded, a small smirk on his face. "My apologies. Of course that must come first, but you will miss a prime opportunity to witness my attempts at _polite conversation_."

Mother glowered up at him. "Are you mocking me, Severus?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No, Mother, and if this paranoia does not stop, I may not invite you to my _tea party_ with Potter and the Dark Lord."

o o o o o o o o o o o

"I wonder what it must be like having a centaur for a teacher," said Terry, as we made our way from the library to the Great Hall for dinner on Monday night. "Apparently his classroom décor is quite spectacular."

"I don't care how interesting the classroom is," Lisa said. "I still wouldn't want to take Divination. It's a ridiculous and completely pointless subject. Don't you think so, Mill?"

I shrugged. "I've never had much interest in it, and I certainly don't think it merits the same amount of attention as most of the other subjects offered."

"But I'm not sure if it should be ruled out completely as futile study," Terry went on. "I mean, haven't there been great Seers recorded in books of the greatest witches and wizards?"

"True," Lisa admitted. "But I still don't have much time for it."

"Nor do I," I said. "It may be useful for those who have the Inner Eye or Sight or whatever, but I'd rather study subjects that I have a chance of conquering."

"Me too," Terry agreed.

"Stop here, I want to go to the bathroom," Lisa said, as we came around a corner where there were girls' toilets.

"I'll go too," I announced.

Terry huffed. "Oh why waste a trip, Mill? Suppose I'll just wait here then, looking like a goon outside the girls toilets?"

"Yep," we replied in unison, smiling at him. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms in response.

We ended up being longer than we thought, as there were a bunch of girls in there all wanting to stop off at the bathroom before dinner. When we emerged ten minutes later, Terry had his back to us and was talking with someone. I couldn't identify who it was straightaway as the person was standing half in shadow.

As we went closer though, I saw (to my utmost _joy_) that it was my favourite buddy, Draco Malfoy.

"Hey, Armilla, Turpin," he greeted as Lisa and I joined them.

Terry also turned around and I saw that he had a wonderfully calm, passive expression on his face. I suddenly felt so grateful to him. It was a big ask of Terry to have to waste time talking to Malfoy without being rude for my benefit.

"Hi, Draco," I said, as Lisa merely nodded at him. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," he drawled, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "And you?"

"Can't complain," I answered, _though I would really like to, you slimy little toad._

"I was just having a chat with Boot here," he said airily, nodding in Terry's direction.

Terry gave a small nod, but said nothing.

"That's unusual," I said dryly. "It's not usually a habit of yours to talk to Terry."

He smirked. "True, I don't, but he's a friend of yours and it would be most discourteous on my part to ignore your friends _every_ time I see them."

Terry scowled in the opposite direction, while Lisa glared at Malfoy.

"Perhaps you were wondering where I was and chose to ask Terry?"

Malfoy grinned. "Yeah, well, something along those lines. But we did chat too while we were waiting for you, didn't we Boot?"

Terry turned to me. "Yes, a most riveting conversation was held, Armilla."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Fine, _you_ choose the topic of discussion next time, Boot. I'll give you a mark out of ten on how much I enjoy _your_ topic."

Lisa and I just stared between the two.

"What were you two talking about?" I said finally.

"The upholstery of the seating in the Ravenclaw common room," said Malfoy promptly.

"er…Why?" Lisa asked.

"I wanted to know if they've given you cheap rubbish up there in the Tower or if you have anything like the silks and leathers we have down in the Slytherin common room."

"Don't worry about us," I said. "Our upholstery is just fine. Quite acceptable by Ravenclaw standards."

"And that's a high standard," Terry added, looking indignant.

"Don't fret, Boot, I believe you." Malfoy looked most amused.

"Well, perhaps next time we can discuss the fabric of the hangings around our beds," Terry suggested.

Malfoy nodded. "I look forward to it." He turned to me. "Actually, I came looking for you, Armilla, because I have something to talk to you about…_privately_ of course."

I nodded. "Fine."

"We see you at dinner then," said Lisa, as she pulled Terry's arm to make him walk.

"Yes we will, farewell Turpin, farewell Boot!" Malfoy waved regally.

I shook my head at him. "You shouldn't try to stir them up, Draco."

He grinned. "Why not? I really enjoy it."

"_I_ don't."

"Well, in that case, I'll try to stop then."

"Yes, that would be nice," _you simple-minded twerp._

"There's an empty classroom up here, why don't we use that?"

I shook my head. "It won't look good for either of us to be found alone in a classroom, Draco." I knew Snape especially wouldn't like that. "Besides, we might get accused of being in an unauthorised club."

He looked completely blasé about it. "I suppose," he drawled. "But Umbridge wouldn't give me any trouble. I'm one of her best and most favoured students."

"Oh really?" _Have you been kissing the feet of her robes then?_

"Yes, you of all people would know the advantages of having connections, Armilla."

I shrugged. "Let's go to the library, anyway. I don't care if you're in her favour, I want to play it safe."

"Fine, fine. Let's go then."

We turned and walked back in the direction of the library. Madam Pince gave me a funny look as I entered, seeing as I had left there not long ago in the company of Lisa and Terry.

"I know a corner where we can talk," Malfoy murmured, as we walked past a group of seventh years, who were clearly intent on skipping dinner in favour of extra study.

"I think I can guess where we're going then," I replied.

Sure enough, a few moments later we were in the History of Magic corner. When it came to History of Magic, students generally relied on their classroom text for their essays instead of visiting the library for extra references. Most of the time, only the more diligent students visited these mind-numbingly boring books. I believed Hermione, Lisa and Percy Weasley (when he had been at Hogwarts) knew their way around these shelves better than Madam Pince.

Luckily for me, Snape had collected any useful history books from the Merrigan Estate and had brought them back to Hogwarts for me to use. Some of them were his old school books, and they contained moving pictures of goblins. When I had first examined the pictures, I had discovered that some of them didn't quite correspond with the text.

One picture in particular depicted a small goblin knocking the head off another goblin when the text below was simply describing the regimented diet of army goblins in the thirteenth century. Upon asking my brother about it, he had given a small cough and had muttered something about being bored in class and experimenting with charmed pictures. He had also given me a warning look, saying that I was _not_ to get any ideas and just because _he_ had done it, I was not to test my creative skills by playing around with the pictures in History of Magic. Hmph! Double standards then.

"Well then?" I said, once we had come to a stop. I was impatient to go and join my friends for dinner.

Malfoy fixed me with a very serious expression. "I have a proposition for you."

Oh no, here we go again. Didn't the boy understand what I had said the last time? I wondered if I should just take him directly to Snape and let them discuss the matter together. Actually, it wouldn't be much of a discussion. Snape would do most of the talking with a very abrupt manner and then send Malfoy on his way.

Upon seeing my sceptical expression, Malfoy seemed to realise that he had chosen the wrong words to begin the conversation.

"Oh _no_," he said hastily. "I don't mean _that_…um…what I think you're thinking, that is. I just mean-" He sighed and started again. "There's a new group you might be interested in joining. It would have benefits for you and I think your brother would approve of you being a member."

I stared at him. "What are you talking about? I don't need to join any group. Besides, don't all groups have to have Umbridge's approval?"

Malfoy held his head up a bit higher, his expression a little too smug for my liking. "Oh _this_ group already has Umbridge's approval. It's _her_ group, you see."

"Umbridge has a _group_?" I said, feeling incredulous. "A group of _what_?" Hyenas? Donkeys? Sheep willing to follow her Fluffy Pink Cardigan Support Program?

"Students," he said simply. "A _select_ group of students."

"Ooooh," I said dryly. "Now I simply _have_ to join."

Malfoy held up a hand, looking a little amused. "Just let me explain and then you can be as sarcastic as you like."

I folded my arms. "Very well. You have two minutes. Carry on."

He rolled his eyes. "The group is called the Inquisitorial Squad."

"Very original name," I muttered.

"You're cutting into my two minutes."

"My apologies."

"You owe me another five seconds."

"Get on with it."

"The Squad is a group of students who support the Ministry of Magic, all chosen by Umbridge. The group isn't going to be put into action for another couple of weeks, but Umbridge is gathering supporters who will help her enforce all her decrees and show outward undying support for the ministry. We're all going to our first meeting in a few days, and she's going to explain our rights and stuff then."

I nodded in understanding. "So, it certainly puts you in a good light," I murmured.

He also nodded. "Yeah, and I think you should join too. It would look good for us, you know, backing up the Ministry. Heaps of Slytherins are joining."

Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse than joining such a group. I didn't want to spend more time with that toad-woman, not to mention the Slytherins. And anyway, I had always gotten the impression that Umbridge didn't like me much.

"I thought you said Umbridge was selecting the students."

He smiled. "I can get you in if you like. I have that sort of influence."

I raised an eyebrow. "Impressive," I said idly.

He smirked. "Alright, so you're not as easy to impress as Pansy. I suppose it would be hard to impress a _Snape_."

I shrugged. "I've got enough study to be going on with. I don't really want to add more to my _To Do_ list."

"Oh, I doubt you'll have to do a great deal," he went on. "Just remind the lesser students of their place and keep people in line."

"I thought the role was to enforce the decrees and support the ministry."

He shrugged. "It's all the same to me."

I shook my head. "Well, I don't think so. Thanks for asking and everything, but I've already got more than enough to do."

That was fair enough in my opinion. I didn't just have homework to do; I also had extra revision time with Snape, as well as extra defence and healing lessons. On top of that, I liked to fit in time for my friends and of course, my visits with Mother. I always had something to do, and it was only going to get more hectic with the OWLs coming up. I didn't need to join a group and take away more time.

Malfoy actually looked disappointed. "Oh well," he said quietly. "I was actually looking forward to having a bit of power to share with you."

I smiled, though really I wanted to hit the idiot. "Just don't use your power against me or my friends."

He laughed, folding his arms. "Well, not you, of course. But it's going to be pretty hard not to use it against Boot and Turpin. I might catch them snogging somewhere."

I shook my head. "I doubt you will, but if that ever happened you should politely pretend you didn't see and go on your way."

"But what have I to gain from that?"

"Probably less resentment," I said evenly.

He stared at me. "You know, you're quite blunt at times."

"Is that a problem?" I knew my father wouldn't approve of me being so direct, but I could tell how to get around Malfoy to my advantage.

He smiled. "No, I quite like it."

I nodded curtly. "Good." Moron.

"Don't you think you should talk all this over with Professor Snape?"

I shook my head. "No. It's my decision. I don't think being involved will serve to my advantage." I gave him a significant look. "As long as my friends and I are not the victims of your ploys."

He smirked, and I could tell that he was pleased.

"No," he said. "You won't be. I promise."

"Excellent." I smiled at him.

I was starting to feel my Slytherin side coming through more than ever.

o o o o o o o o o o o

On Tuesday night after Snape and I had finished revising my work, I disclosed the contents of my meeting with Malfoy the night before.

Snape's expression grew darker and darker as I went on, to the point that he looked quite ill-tempered by the time I had finished.

"The nerve of that woman to start a group like that!" he spat. "I don't want you involved in that group. I'm glad you said no."

"Would Father expect me join something like that?" I asked.

He sneered, as he got up from the table. "Well, it is _not_ Father's decision. However, I know Father's wish is for you to stay out of harm's way and do as much study as possible."

"Stay out of _harm's way_?" I repeated bitterly, following him over to the sofa. "Spending time with him _is_ in harm's way."

Snape's expression softened slightly. "He means stay out of the way of anyone else who might cause you hardship," he said quietly, as we sat down. "This Inquisitorial Squad is obviously a political thing, and Father and I would both prefer you to not be involved in things like that. Father may have some power at the Ministry, but he has told me himself that he does not wish for you to take a stance at school."

"Stay in the background and get on with study?"

He nodded.

So I had to remain impartial. My mind was suddenly flooded with thoughts about the DA. I had had a proposition to join two groups. A team supporting Dumbledore vs. a team supporting the Ministry.

Before I had long to consider this, a darker, more painful thought crossed my mind.

Snape gave me a curious look. "What are you thinking about?"

"When are the OWL results sent?" I asked quietly, as my stomach performed a strange flip-flop.

He raised an eyebrow. "Sometime in July I understand."

"Oh." I wished I could have my results before the holidays. To prepare myself. I knew I had to spend a significantly longer period of time with Father over the holidays. If I was at Father's house when my results arrived I would be a nervous wreck. He would probably demand to read the results before I did. And if I didn't get all Outstandings…Father would certainly show his displeasure.

"Will I be staying with Father in July?" I asked, dreading the answer.

Something flickered in Snape's eyes as comprehension dawned on his face.

"We haven't yet discussed exactly when you'll go back there," he answered quietly, his black eyes fixed on mine. "Perhaps I should suggest that you go there in August."

I shuddered. I knew that Father would demand that I stay for more than a month. "What if I don't get an Outstanding in everything?" I asked softly.

Snape was silent, looking deep in thought.

"I suppose that was a stupid question," I said, suddenly feeling dejected. "I already know what will happen."

Snape looked over at me. "You'll be even more prepared this time than when you went there after Christmas. You know how to do more complex healing charms now." He leaned back, suddenly looking tired, "though it will make things more difficult if Father hexes you in the back again. It's an awkward place to heal."

I nodded, thinking back to the night I had received that horrible hex. I had never been in so much pain.

"You never know though," Snape went on, watching me closely. "You might receive Outstandings in everything."

I met his gaze, feeling nervous. I was surprised that I suddenly felt nervous in front of him. He had always given me the impression that his expectations of me were high.

"And if I don't…will _you_ be disappointed?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "I've known you since you were eleven, so I know what you're capable of. I'd like to see your abilities acknowledged by receiving high marks, but if you don't, I wouldn't think less of you because I already know what you _can_ do." He smirked. "More fool the ministry in that case."

I smiled, feeling a little better. Though Father caused me pain physically, it would hurt more emotionally if Snape was disappointed in me. His opinions on things mattered to me.

"And how did Mr. Malfoy take your refusal to join the group?"

I shrugged. "He seemed okay with it."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Got round him did you?"

I nodded. "He's not going to bother me about it. And he promised not to involve me in any of his decree-enforcing campaigns."

He narrowed his eyes. "Sounds like you've been practising being Slytherin, Armilla."

I smiled. "It has its uses."

"Indeed."

He looked pointedly at my blue cushions, which were still sitting in a pile at one side of the room. My shield had been getting stronger and stronger over the past few days, to the point that I was only falling down about three times for every ten hexes now.

"It's my aim to have those cushions gone a week from now,' said Snape. 'You won't fall down at all."

"That's optimistic."

"I thought I'd give optimism a go."

We suddenly heard a series of hoots coming from my bedroom. Morag had been in a good mood earlier because Snape had allowed me to give her some of the expensive food again.

Snape sneered. "She better not have decorated that room with droppings and feathers again."

I shook my head. "She couldn't have. She's in a good mood."

We heard the hooting again, and I wasn't entirely convinced that Morag was hooting because she was happy.

"Are you recording your will in there?" Snape called. "If so, it is a good idea, for you may not live much longer if I continue to hear that noise."

"That's not optimism," I pointed out.

He looked indifferent. "It wasn't working out for me."

"She doesn't sound very happy." I got up and made my way to my bedroom, curious to find out what was causing Morag to make more noise than Snape would put up with.

"Morag, what are you-"

I stopped short when I saw my owl.

Morag was slumped in the back of her cage, hooting softly to herself. She looked terribly ill. It must have taken an enormous amount of energy to manage to hoot loudly to get my attention.

She suddenly stopped hooting. I went over to her and stroked her feathers.

She blinked once, but otherwise there was no other response. I looked closely at her eyes. They seemed to be unfocused, though she knew I was there. I knew she wouldn't have let a stranger she couldn't see properly stroke her.

"Severus!" I called, feeling alarmed.

I heard hurried footsteps and a moment later Snape was behind me.

"She's sick," I said, moving out of the way.

Snape bent down and peered into the cage at Morag.

"She's more than sick," he muttered, reaching into the cage and lifting Morag out of it.

I watched, feeling panicked, as Snape held Morag out in front of him, staring into her eyes. Morag didn't move much, either because she was too sick or she was nervous about being in Snape's arms. I thought it had to be the former.

I followed Snape out of my bedroom and into his lab across the hallway. I took out my wand to light the candles in the room as Snape placed Morag on the workbench in the middle of the room. She hooted once more and closed her eyes.

A lump formed in my throat. She couldn't die. She wasn't about to die, was she?

Snape took out his wand and waved it over her, muttering incantations.

I watched, thinking it wise to stay silent, lest I interrupt his work.

Snape muttered incantations for several minutes, and when there was no improvement in Morag's condition, I starting hoping that Snape was merely trying to diagnose her.

Finally he stopped. He turned to face me, looking exceptionally grave.

"She's been poisoned, Armilla."


	60. Poisoned

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 59

My heart seemed to skip a beat.

"_Poisoned_?" I repeated, knowing very well that I had not misheard.

"Yes." Snape glanced briefly at me before turning to look closely at Morag, who still had her eyes closed. "From what I can gather, it's a very rare poison."

"How do you know that?" I said quickly, gripping the edge of the workbench very tightly. My chest felt tight, as if someone had reached in and grasped my lungs with one hand.

"Most poisons act very quickly," he explained, narrowing his eyes as he pried one of Morag's eyes open. "There," he murmured, apparently to himself. "Just as I thought."

"What is it?" I said quickly.

"Look at her eyes. Can you see those blue swirls clouding her eyes?"

"Yes." That couldn't be good.

"Go and get the _Morgan's_ food. I want to be able to confirm what poison it is."

I obeyed at once and when I returned, Snape was busy accioing an assortment of things from his potions cupboard. He uncorked a potion and poured a couple of drops each onto three small squares of white parchment. Offering no explanation, he used a cotton bud to absorb a bit of the blue stuff clouding one of Morag's eyes. He then wiped the bud across one of the parchments, which turned royal blue in an instant.

"She's not as bad as she could be," he said quietly. "If she was close to death the parchment would have turned a deeper shade of blue."

I felt a tiny bit of relief. "Can you fix her then?"

He picked up the second piece of parchment. "I would rather check _your_ health first, if you don't mind."

"What do you mean?" I said incredulously. "I'm fine."

He handed me the parchment and another bud. "Absorb some saliva with that bud and then wipe it across the parchment," he instructed. When I continued to stare at him he gave me a dark look. "_Now_."

Feeling very strange about it, I complied, noticing that Snape also did the same for himself with the third piece of parchment.

My parchment turned a very pale blue, nowhere near as dark as Morag's. Snape's was even paler again.

"What does this mean?" I asked, feeling very worried now.

Snape merely shook his head as he summoned another bottle. "Not now. I'll explain later."

I watched in silence as he poured a small amount of a thick pale yellow potion into two glasses. One of them held slightly more than the other.

"Drink that," he ordered, handing me the glass containing the greater amount. "_All_ of it."

My confusion at an all time peak, I downed in potion in one gulp, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape do the same thing with his potion. Neither of us bothered to disguise our grimaces at the foul taste.

"Now," Snape said, taking my glass from me. "I'm going to try and help Morag as well as I can, but you cannot stay in here."

"Why not?" I asked, as I followed him out into the corridor.

"Like I said, I'll explain later. You must not leave our quarters under any circumstances. Understood?"

"Yes." _Though I wish I knew what was going on…_

He took out his wand and cast a very long incantation in very rapid Latin.

I looked askance at him, but didn't bother inquiring what the spell was for. I would probably be told again that he would explain later.

Snape stared down at me. "Cleansing the air," he said simply, before going back into the lab and shutting the door behind him. I heard him cast another incantation inside the lab. I guessed that he was either cleansing the air in there or sealing the room so that the air didn't get out.

I stood alone in the dark corridor for a few moments, letting the last few minutes sink in. I wanted to know what the special parchment thing was about. Why did I have to drink that stuff? Was I infected with something too? That meant that Snape was as well. Morag must have been poisoned with something contagious. Why else would Snape have cleansed the air?

I wandered into my bedroom, feeling lost. Who would have wanted to poison Morag?

_No_, said a voice in my head. _It's a contagious poison. Whoever sent it wanted you or Snape to be poisoned._

I shuddered. That was not a nice thought. Someone had planned this.

I didn't know how long I sat on my bed, completely absorbed in a combination of disturbing thoughts about the identity of the culprit, and whether or not my owl was dead.

I didn't know what time it was when I heard Snape open the door of the lab. He strode briskly into my room, carrying a cotton bud and parchment again.

"Do it again," he said shortly, handing them to me.

I obeyed and watched as the parchment turned a slightly lighter shade of blue than before.

Snape nodded, a mild expression of relief passing across his face.

"Is she alright?" I asked quietly, as he sat down on the bed next to me.

He met my gaze, his black eyes like tunnels. "I don't know."

Hearing my brother admit to not knowing something was very unsettling. He had always struck me as one of those people who had an answer to everything.

"But she's not-"

"Dying?" he offered. "I don't believe so, but I don't want to say that she's not. All we can do at the moment is wait."

"For some sort of improvement you mean?"

He looked thoughtful. "Well, a change of any sort. I can't guarantee that there will be a rapid improvement. I don't know if she'll get worse."

"Get worse? Didn't you just give her what you and I drank?"

"Let me explain this to you," he said quietly. "Morag was given a slow-working poison. It gradually spreads throughout the body, with the intention of shutting it down over an extended period of time. What is interesting about this sort of poison is the contagious effect it has." He paused to give me a significant look. "Though you may have already worked this out."

I nodded.

"Though the body has been poisoned, it breathes out some of the toxins, and others in close vicinity breathe them in. The toxins are not as powerful once they are exhaled, but they will do damage. And the more time they spend roaming the air the weaker they get. It wasn't a huge effort for me to cleanse the air of them."

"But you and I were poisoned then?"

He inclined his head. "Not to the extent Morag was, but yes. The parchment we used has been soaked in a potion that makes it reveal if the body has been infected by something. The more severe the case, the darker blue the parchment turns. As you saw, our case was not as dire as Morag's. And the antidote seems to have helped you. That's why the parchment just turned a lighter shade of blue than before."

"Did it get lighter for you?" I asked at once, feeling worried.

"No, it's slightly darker," he admitted. Upon seeing my anxious look, he hastened on. "But that's only because I spent longer in the lab with Morag. I had to send you out so you wouldn't breathe any more toxins in."

"But you drank that antidote too," I pointed out.

"True," he said. "The antidote works to cancel out the poison in the body. It also stops you breathing _out_ toxins so you won't infect anyone else. It doesn't stop you breathing them_ in_. Morag was still breathing out toxins at that stage, and if you had breathed in more toxins I would have had to given you a larger dose of the antidote, which is very dangerous."

"Why?"

"The antidote can be as slow to work as the poison itself. Like I said, the antidote works to cancel out the poison, but sometimes the poison has taken too strong a hold on the body and it can't be stopped. The antidote itself has to be used sparingly because it contains phanohal, a rare ingredient that can cure quickly at a price."

"What sort of price?"

"We could have drank three times the amount of that antidote and cancelled out the poison in an instant. But though phanohal is excellent for cancelling out toxins, it also has a flair for slowing down the nervous system, often permanently. It's a very dangerous ingredient and you can only get a hold of it in Knockturn Alley. You can take a certain amount and be safe from any ill effects, but that's as long as the poison hasn't taken a strong hold on you. The stronger the hold of the poison, the more phanohal you have to take."

"So you and I are lucky then that the poison hadn't taken a stronger hold?"

He inclined his head. "Very lucky. It took more than an hour for Morag to start feeling the effects of the poison. If Morag had failed to let us know that she wasn't feeling well, then our own situation would have become a lot more serious. We wouldn't have felt different until the poison had taken on a similar hold to Morag's."

"But she ate the poison. We only inhaled it. Would it have taken the same amount of time to affect us?"

He shook his head. "No, it would have taken a lot longer. That's why the parchment turned much lighter shades of blue for us. But even so, if we had been in the same situation as Morag, things would have looked pretty grim."

"What would you have done?"

He was silent for a moment. "Well," he said slowly, "I would have given each of us greater amount of the antidote, and then I would have kept testing ourselves with the parchment every twenty minutes to see if it had beaten the poison."

"And if the poison was overriding it?"

He sighed. "Then there is no other option. A greater dose of the antidote would be the only path to take…either that or a slow death."

"And a greater dose of phanohal generally slows the nervous system down permanently?"

He nodded. "Generally, yes. But there have been cases when the nervous system improved over time, but never back to what it was."

"Why couldn't you just give Morag what you and I drank?"

"Phanohal doesn't really agree with magical creatures. You can only give them a tiny amount before it begins to affect them negatively. I was testing Morag on other magical creature antidotes hoping that I wouldn't have to use any phanohal. When her situation didn't improve, I gave her a small quantity of phanohal."

"And did it help her?"

He sighed. "Nothing happened for awhile. She didn't get worse, but she didn't get better either. I kept testing her with the parchment and I kept getting the same shade of blue."

"So the hold of the poison is too strong for the phanohal to handle?"

"Not necessarily. One seems as strong as the other at the moment, so things could change either way."

"So all we can do is wait for a change now?"

He nodded. "I'm going to test her again in a few minutes."

"So we're safe from inhaling anything from her now?"

"I believe so. However, since I can't guarantee it since it's a magical creature we're talking about and not a witch or wizard, you aren't to come into the lab until I tell you it's safe. It's too dangerous."

"But you might be making yourself worse," I pointed out.

He looked grimly at me. "I don't think she is breathing out any toxins. My parchment only turned a bit darker because I spent a little more time with her before giving her phanohal. The blue was no darker than your first parchment."

"But you'll be alright?" I didn't want Snape putting himself at risk.

"Yes, I'll be fine," he insisted.

"So if the antidote stopped me from breathing out toxins," I said slowly, "why couldn't I leave these rooms?"

"Just in case there is someone in this school waiting for us to be poisoned," he said simply. "Someone may have a means of knowing about this and even if you venture out into the rest of the castle now, someone may know how to reverse what the antidote is doing. There is still poison in your system."

"So if I had left before taking the antidote, I could have infected more people?"

He nodded. "Of course. The toxins would have been weaker still to inhale after someone else already has, but it would only result in the poison working even slower again. It would still eventually work towards death. Neither of us can leave until the parchment stays completely white when we test ourselves. We can't go out into the school while there is poison in our bodies. If there is anyone in the know about this at the school with the ability to reverse it, we are better off not venturing out into the school. It's against the rules anyway."

It seemed such a lot to take in. The idea that Morag had eaten something that could have killed all three of us, not to mention the entire student population was simply unbelievable. And trying to find out who exactly would want to do such a thing was not easy – there were too many candidates.

"It's strange that I've had poison in here all this time, but touching it didn't harm me."

Snape frowned. "The packet contained a mixture of normal food as well as poison."

I gave him a wry smile. "I suppose Morag would have been poisoned earlier if you hadn't stopped her from eating _Morgan's_ food."

He sneered slightly. "Ironic, isn't it? To think that she had several tantrums over something that could end her life."

We were both silent, contemplating this.

"I'm going to test her again, and see if there's anything else I can do." he said, after a moment. "It's a quarter to ten. I suggest you go to bed."

"I can't go to bed," I said indignantly. "How can I sleep now?"

He glared at me. "That's why you're a trained Occlumens."

I glared back at him. "But I-"

"Go to bed," he said firmly. "I won't tell you again. I will come and wake you as soon as I have news. I'm going to have to wake you every couple of hours anyway to check that the antidote is still working." He swept from the room, closing the door behind him.

Very begrudgingly I did as I was told and went to bed. For ages I was determined not to sleep, no matter what Snape said. I thought it a terrible thing to try and sleep while my poor owl could be dying. But then, I starting thinking about what Snape had said about being a trained Occlumens. I was supposed to prove that I could shut down my feelings in times when it was extremely hard to. Even when it came to life and death situations.

So I shut my eyes and put the steel wall up in my mind. These days it came to me so easily. Snape's training had made sure of it. I kept the wall up until sleep finally came…

"Armilla, wake up." Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"No," I mumbled in my sleep.

There was silence again, and then…

"Did you just say _no_ to me?"

"No…what?" I said sleepily, my eyes closed.

"Not _what_, Armilla, _pardon_."

"Why?"

"What do you mean _why_?"

My eyes shot open as full consciousness came back and I realised that I was actually talking to someone, not just talking in my sleep. Everything came back to me in a split second. I hoped Morag was alright.

Snape was sitting on my bed, looking a bit disgruntled. "If you're going to talk to me in your sleep, do try to provide well-mannered conversation."

"Sorry," I said groggily, as I sat up. "I didn't realise I was talking to you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Who did you think you were talking to?"

"I didn't think I was talking to anyone."

He shook his head. "You're half-asleep, I'm sure." He handed me some parchment and a cotton bud again. "You know what to do."

"How's Morag?"

He looked pointedly at the parchment. "Do that first."

Thankfully this time the parchment turned an even paler shade of blue than before.

"That's good," I said sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Just after eleven-thirty," he replied, taking the parchment from me.

"And is the blue getting paler for you?"

"Yes, significantly paler."

"And Morag?"

"There's been some improvement. Very slow improvement, but nevertheless the blue has been getting paler for her too."

Suddenly I was wide awake. I could have hugged my brother with happiness. "Will there be any permanent damage?"

"I hope not. This might take her several weeks to get over since the poison had a hold on her. The worst might be that she has a small amount of nerve damage."

"Will she be able to make deliveries then?" I knew Morag would be very upset if she saw me tying mail to another owl to deliver.

"I should think so. If not, I'll keep researching until I can find something to help her."

Another thought suddenly came to me. "What about her ability to change appearance?"

Snape considered me for a moment. "That's another thing I'm not sure of. I believe she will be fine in that regard, but only time will tell."

"I suppose I can't see her?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You know the answer to that. I will let you see her as soon as her parchment remains white."

"What if _our_ parchment isn't white in the morning?"

"I'm not expecting it to be," he answered. "We'll be confined here tomorrow for the morning at least."

"That's going to get people talking."

He sneered. "Indeed it will. It'll get back to Father in no time. I'll have to tell him that we were both unwell and couldn't attend classes."

"He'll love that."

"He can deal with it. I'll tell him that you were sick with something you caught off another student, and then I caught whatever it was off you."

I shook my head. "Hang on. You see a larger variety of students than I do everyday. Why didn't I catch it off _you_?"

He glared at me. "Because it's _my_ story."

I fought the urge to laugh. I was feeling so relieved that Morag was going to be alright. "Won't it look strange for us to suddenly turn up to the afternoon classes tomorrow?"

"Oh, we're going to have to take the whole day off," he assured me. "We'll just be confined to these rooms in the morning. I've already contacted Dumbledore and told him what happened. He insisted that since we're going to be up every couple of hours anyway to test ourselves, we should have tomorrow off."

"What about Harry's Occlumency lesson tomorrow night?"

"He had better turn up," he said, scowling. "It'll be detention if he doesn't."

We were silent again, letting everything sink in. Before long, my mind turned back to finding out the identity of the poison culprit.

"Do you have any theories?" I asked my brother, hoping the same thoughts were running through his mind at the moment.

"A few," he murmured, rubbing his temples. "There are so many possibilities."

"At least we can rule out Father for this one," I admitted.

Snape nodded. "Yes, Father would certainly not have done this. He would not have had the _Morgan's_ company send poisonous owl food. He does not want _you_ dead by any means."

"The Malfoys would have had nothing to do with it either then, I suppose." I was racking my brains for the culprit.

"No, not the Malfoys either," he agreed. "We're on good terms with them, though it does sound like something Lucius would do. He's done things like that many times in the past. But killing you off wouldn't help when he wants you to marry his son."

I shuddered. Mrs. Armilla Malfoy. That did _not_ have a nice ring to it.

"It may not be someone you or I know well, you know," he said thoughtfully. "There are many people in the Dark Lord's service who would commit acts like this to rob someone of their place in the inner circle."

"And you have a good spot in the inner circle?" I said quietly, trying to ignore the flip-flops in my stomach at the mere thought of it.

He met my gaze, his expression unfathomable. "I do."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"It might be someone who's convinced you're a traitor to the Dark Side," I pointed out.

He nodded. "That's another possibility. Any investigation done will have to be carried out very quietly. I do not wish anyone to think that I suspect them."

"If someone was going to try and kill you in such a way, using a poison in owl food was a pretty brainless way of going about it," I said thoughtfully.

Snape nodded. "I agree. Like I've said to you before, people can be sly, but not intelligent. Tell me why you think it was brainless."

"You're a Potions Master," I said simply. "You're the best Potions Master. Even if Morag had died you would have been able to identify why. And there's no guarantee that you would have been affected by the food. We could easily have taken it up to the owlery if you had decided that Morag was not to have the food. And also if we had gone out into the school before we knew Morag was sick, other people could have caught it as well."

"That's right," he said, his expression dark. "Anyone at all from any House, or any member of staff could have caught it. Sending a contagious poison to a school was a ridiculous thing to do. It will narrow down my search considerably, for I'm going to be looking for someone dense."

"How would the person…or persons have gotten hold of such a rare poison?" I asked.

"That's what I'd very much like to know," he answered, his eyes glittering. "Rare poisons are rare for a reason. They are hard to get. They contain uncommon ingredients that are very expensive and they are usually extremely complicated to make. If one intricate detail is missed, the poison can become useless and that would mean a lot of time and money wasted."

"So there would be few witches or wizards up to making it?"

"Indeed. I could count on one hand all the people I know of capable of such a potion. I am more inclined to believe that someone was paid a lot of money to make the potion, and was then obliviated once it was complete."

"What are you going to do?" I said softly.

"I've already discussed the matter with the Headmaster. He has the right connections for carrying out hushed up investigations. It could take some time to identify the culprit, or culprits."

"Maybe one day you could research that poison and find a proper cure without side effects," I said thoughtfully, sliding further down into bed.

Snape nodded. "I would like to, believe me. It's such a rare form of poison that there hasn't been a lot of research carried out to find a more effective cure. I'm-" He suddenly stopped, looking pained.

I was silent he as looked at the wall.

At length, he turned back, looking serious. "I am thankful," he said quietly, "that Morag alerted us when she did. If she hadn't…"

I nodded. "We'd have bigger problems right now."

"To put it lightly, yes."

"Are you going to test all of Morag's food first from now on?"

"Most definitely, though I do not believe whoever is responsible would do the same thing twice."

I didn't like to think about that. If whoever was responsible wasn't caught, they might try another method…and soon.

"Don't think on it, Armilla," he said seriously. "I will not permit you to waste time thinking about it when you have exams coming up. Let other people handle it and concentrate on other things."

"Easier said than done," I murmured.

"You're capable," he said shortly.

I smiled. "You might have to be nice to Morag for awhile, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I might just. Not too nice though, not after I've just succeeded in squashing her arrogant side."

"Might give _Morgan's_ food a miss from now on…"

"I doubt Morag will touch it now," he agreed. "I suppose she'll adopt a _woe is me_ approach to life." He scowled again. "It's enough to put up with that from_ Potter_."

I said nothing. Sometimes it was just best to say nothing.

o o o o o o o o o o o

When I finally got out of bed around eight-thirty the next morning, I had had barely any sleep. Snape had woken me up every couple of hours to make sure that the effects of the antidote hadn't suddenly backfired.

After showering, I sleepily made my way out to the sitting room to have breakfast. The room was empty and I supposed that Snape was in the lab with Morag. I didn't think that he had gone to bed at all. He had to keep testing me as well as himself every couple of hours, as well as monitor Morag. I hoped that Snape's blue was still getting paler.

I ate breakfast by myself, feeling like I could fall asleep at the table. Generally Snape would have made sure that I didn't sleep past seven-thirty, but I knew today he wouldn't care so much. I would just stay over in the dungeons and go to bed early that night instead.

I was looking over the study notes that Snape and I had gone through the night before when Snape emerged.

"Bit keen aren't you?" he said, when he saw what I was doing. "You've barely had any sleep."

"I know," I replied, trying to stifle a yawn. "Did you go to bed at all?"

He sat down at the table and reached for the coffee. "I've just had two hours sleep," he said, "and I wouldn't mind some more. Have you eaten?"

"Yes, I just finished. How is Morag?"

"I just checked on her," he answered, reaching for some toast. "She's a lot better. I'm hoping that her parchment will be all white by tonight."

"And yours?"

"Extremely pale, like yours. I want you to check yours again soon."

I nodded, feeling so relieved so we're were all going to be alright.

"Who is teaching your classes today?"

"Professor Sprout is taking two. She has a couple of free periods and will take my classes then. As far as I know, she's taking them down to the Greenhouses to do theory work on Potions ingredients stored there. I believe the Headmaster is taking the other classes."

"Lisa and Terry will wonder where I am."

"I daresay Professor Flitwick will let them know."

"Am I allowed to tell them what really happened?"

He considered me for a moment. "I'd prefer it if you didn't. Just stick with the story that we were both unwell."

"They'll see through that."

He looked indifferent. "Be that as it may, I would prefer to keep this private."

I nodded. "Alright, so I caught something off you." I smiled, waiting for him to take the bait.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "No, _I_ caught something off _you_. Don't you twist the tale around."

_Fine_. Hopefully _I_ would get to make up the next cover story if there was ever a need for one.

"Might I ask if you are planning on going back to bed this morning?" He gave me a stern look.

I shook my head. "I've got homework to do, and later I'll have to catch up on everything I've missed."

Now it was Snape's turn to shake his head. "I don't agree. After I check on Morag again I am going back to bed for a couple of hours. I suggest you do the same."

I knew the man well enough to know that it was an order disguised as a request. And I didn't want to argue with an exhausted Snape. The man _had_ just cured my owl. I knew his patience would not need testing today.

"There's still some of that parchment in your room," he said, "So go and test yourself."

I got up and went into my room, but not before glancing at the closed lab door. I really wanted to see Morag. I hoped she wasn't thinking that I didn't care.

"It's off-white," I called a few moments later. Really, the parchment was barely blue anymore.

"I'm glad to hear it," he called back. "I do hope you're going to bed now."

I certainly recognised _that _as an order.

o o o o o o o o o o o

It seemed that I had just closed my eyes when I felt someone shaking me.

"I went to bed…like you told me to…" I murmured.

"Yes, and I'm _very_ proud of you," came my brother's sarcastic voice, "but I'd appreciate it if you would get up now, otherwise you won't sleep tonight."

I rubbed my eyes. "I only just went to bed, you know."

He raised an eyebrow. "It's nearly one o'clock, Armilla."

What? "I didn't want to sleep that late! I've got homework to do."

"Really?" he drawled. "Well, now you might make a good job of it now since you've had a decent rest."

"Is Morag-"

He held up a hand. "Morag is still making progress. I think I can safely say that she'll be back to normal before you go to bed tonight."

I smiled. "I'm glad you were around to fix her."

He nodded. "Well Potions Masters _are_ useful every now and then."

"So can I see her tonight?"

"We'll see," he answered, passing me another piece of parchment and a cotton bud.

He didn't need to tell me what to do by now. I was very much relieved a moment later to see that the parchment remained completely white.

"Cured?" I asked, seeking confirmation of this.

"Cured," he said simply. "Well then, I think I can hear your homework calling you."

There was suddenly a loud hoot from inside the lab.

"I think someone wants some company," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "I have better things to do than be sociable with your owl."

'She probably really likes you now since you cured her."

He frowned. "I can't have that, can I? I'd prefer if she was afraid of me, not worshipping me."

o o o o o o o o o o o

After coming back from Occlumency lessons with Harry that night (in a quite a questionable mood), Snape tested Morag and declared that she was one hundred percent well.

We already knew that she was feeling better anyway, since we had spent much of the afternoon hearing sudden outbursts of cheerful hooting and the flapping of wings. To Snape's credit, he hadn't gone into the lab, waving his wand threateningly every time she had done this. Instead, he had pursed his lips and had muttered about tomorrow being a different day and doing and saying what he liked to the wretched creature. Underneath, I knew he was just as relieved as I was that Morag was going to be alright.

"Well come in and see her then," he said, standing in the doorway of the lab.

I followed him inside and smiled when I saw Morag perched on the workbench, looking expectantly at me. She looked a lot better than she had the night before, but she wasn't small and white at the moment. Instead, she was iridescent purple and quite large.

"Obviously she can still change her features," said Snape dryly. "She's been going from one outrageous colour to the next for a few hours."

I put my hand out to pet her, but she suddenly nipped at my finger, blinking at me. Then she let out a loud, angry hoot.

I frowned. "What did she do that for?"

Snape was glaring at Morag. "I believe she is letting you know that she is less than pleased that you weren't with her while she was unwell."

"It's not my fault," I said indignantly, looking directly my owl. "You were contagious."

She blinked at me, and then turned aqua.

Snape sneered at her. "You look ridiculous."

"Why don't you go back to your normal form?" I suggested.

She hooted softly, looking anywhere but at me.

"Conceited creature," Snape muttered.

At that moment, there was a puff of smoke in front of Snape and a hazy picture of Dumbledore appeared in the fading smoke, only to vanish again a few seconds later.

"What was that?" I asked, pretending that I hadn't really jumped back in alarm.

"The Headmaster is outside," he replied. "Stay here, I'll go and let him in."

I nodded, watching as Snape swept from the room. I couldn't believe that I had spent so much time in the dungeons and had just found out now what means Snape used to let him know if he had a visitor. The visitor couldn't very well knock, seeing as the door to our quarters was concealed by a portrait.

I turned back to Morag, who had started hooting softly whilst staring in the opposite direction.

"Morag," I said quietly.

She ignored me.

"Morag?"

Still nothing, though the hooting was getting louder. I could hear the muffled voices of Snape and Dumbledore out in the sitting room. I supposed they were discussing how they would go about investigating who was responsible for the poison.

"I told you it wasn't my fault," I said earnestly, trying to keep the impatience from my voice. "I wanted to see you, but you were too sick. You_ know_ I wouldn't just leave you."

Still, I got no response.

Through an effort of trying not to get annoyed by her rudeness, I reminded myself what Morag had been through in the last twenty-four hours. Instead I changed tactics.

"Fine," I said coolly, taking a step back. "Be like that. I understand perfectly if you don't want to forgive me."

She kept hooting, but more softly, as I knew she was listening to me still.

"If you're not going to forgive me, then there's no point in me sticking around, I suppose. Very sad, but there it is." I sighed dramatically. "Well I suppose I shall leave now, since there's no one here who wants my company."

I started walking towards the door, careful not to look back.

"Guess I'll have to ask Severus to get me a new owl then," I said, very clearly. "A nice little white one, preferably not stubborn."

I was a step from the door when I heard a loud screech and a flutter of wings. Morag, small and white once more, fluttered in front of me until I stretched out my arm for her to land on. She looked quite frantic and I used my other hand to stroke her head.

"Should I keep you then?" I asked.

She closed her eyes in response, happy to have me stroke her.

Sometimes situations called for me to do something Slytherin.

o o o o o o o o o o o

A/N Thanks for reading. Be a nice reader and go and review now. I'd love to hear from all of you, especially you ghost readers who drift in and out with every update! This is the two year anniversary chapter! I finished my very first chapter of Armilla around this time two years ago and I was nearly going to give it up because I didn't think anyone was reading it!


	61. Sneak

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 60

By Sunday, Snape had determined that Morag would not suffer any permanent damage. I was relieved beyond words, and though Snape didn't say as much, I believed his relief was equal to mine. He did joke though that he'd like to have Morag around for a bit longer so he could get his money's worth – I knew Morag hadn't come cheaply.

The major difference in Morag was that she was sleeping a great deal. She would only be awake for about two to three hours at a time before she was tired out. Snape put this down to her body needing a lot of rest because of the hold the poison had taken on her. He was certain that, in time, she would sleep less and resume the sleeping pattern she had had before "the incident". It was fortunate that she had not suffered any nerve damage, as Snape had predicted that she might.

There was also another small problem in regards to eating. Morag wasn't likely to forget what she had been through anytime soon, and as a result, she had become extremely wary about eating. The first time I tried to feed her after I had taken her back into my room, she had absolutely refused. There was no longer any _Morgan's_ food in the room, but Morag had just seemed to associate eating with sickness. In the end, Snape, through his abrupt, albeit harsh manner, had coaxed Morag into eating. There had been a glaring match between the two, and of course, Snape had come off triumphant. Since then, it had been taking a lot longer to feed Morag, as either Snape or I had to watch her to make sure that she _was _eating.

To bring a positive out of an extremely dire situation, Snape and Morag had been brought closer in my opinion, or at least Morag no longer seemed to feel a sense of hostility towards Snape. Snape, as usual, reacted to her with indifference, but there were not as many harsh remarks.

Apparently there was some sort of investigation underway, but so far, neither Snape nor I knew many details. As far as we knew, Dumbledore had gotten into contact with certain Aurors. The whole thing was to be completely hushed up, and, at Dumbledore's request, both Snape and I weren't to have any part in the investigation in case it played into the hands of whoever was responsible.

Before we had visited Mother that afternoon, Snape had warned me not to mention what had happened. And so we had passed a couple of hours in her presence, saying nothing of the poison that could have killed the two of us. I knew if we had died, Mother would have certainly been released from her ring, and the bracelet on my wrist would have vanished seeing as I had no one to pass it on to.

"Do you think it will take them long?" I asked, as Snape and I sat down on the sofa in the sitting room on Sunday night. We had just finished practising my shield charm. I was immensely pleased to have only fallen down twice in the last half hour. All the other times I had not only managed to block Snape's hex, but I had also been able to cast my own.

Admittedly, due to my concentration on keeping the shield in place to block Snape's hexes, my own hexes lacked power and were nothing short of feeble. But as Snape had said before, I could work on that once I was confident in blocking and delivering hexes at the same time.

"My instincts tell me it might," he replied, conjuring up some tea. "Being an extremely private investigation, whoever is involved will have to explore without being detected and that can be extremely time consuming."

"Would they have to obliviate everyone they interview then?" I asked, watching Snape pour the tea. I noticed with an inward sigh that he hadn't conjured any sugar. I used to have sugar in my tea when I had lived with Merle, but now Snape insisted that I could do without it.

"I suppose it depends on who it is they're interviewing," he answered, handing me a steaming cup. "They'll have to cover their tracks no matter where they go."

We were both silent for a moment as we drank our tea. Though we should have been discussing improving my shield charm, I was too preoccupied with finding out who the culprit was.

"I don't think they would have started the investigation at the _Morgan's_ company," I said thoughtfully.

Snape stared at me, his look calculating. "May I ask why?"

"It would make things too broad," I said slowly, staring down at my tea. "_Morgan's_ is a big company. They would have to interview a lot of people wouldn't they? You said yourself that there are few people up to making that poison. It would be more beneficial to interview them and find out their connections. And if that doesn't take them anywhere, they should look into where the uncommon ingredients can be found and investigate the merchant." I looked back at Snape as I finished. "All very quietly of course."

Snape nodded approvingly. "I agree. That is the course of action I would take if Dumbledore would permit me to take part in the investigation."

I was silent as Snape continued to drink his tea. Underneath, I still had a gnawing feeling about the whole situation. True, Snape had saved the day and had prevented the three of us from dying, but whoever had put us in that situation was on the loose out there. And what was more, we didn't know who the poison had been intended for.

It was easy to think that the intended victim was Snape, since he had a vast range of dangerous connections and was in a position in the Dark Lord's circle that was envied by other followers.

But what if it _hadn't_ been intended for Snape? The poison had been sent to _my_ owl after all. Did the person know that Morag lived in the dungeons and not in Ravenclaw Tower or the Owlery? If I was the victim, I couldn't get my head around who would be responsible.

My father and the Malfoys were certainly ruled out. Shar was in Azkaban I believed, and I knew that even if he was free, he wouldn't have been able to carry out such a plan because he was a squib. He couldn't have covered his tracks, and he certainly didn't have the money to pay a witch or wizard to do it, seeing as he had attacked me in order to secure Merle's money. I suddenly thought of someone else who could very likely be the culprit.

"Rougier," I said softly to myself.

"I beg your pardon?" said Snape, giving me a suspicious look as he put his cup down.

"Rougier," I repeated. "The governess."

"Ah, yes, the painted old hag," he said dryly. "What about her?"

"She could have done it."

Snape considered this with a hard expression. "If _you_ were the target, you mean?"

I shrugged. "Not just me. She dislikes you too, especially since you threatened her."

Snape looked doubtful. "I don't know. She's hasn't got many redeeming qualities, but I don't believe she has murder in her. I used Occlumency on her the day I met her."

I opened my mouth in surprise. "I didn't know that."

He looked indifferent. "Nor did she actually. I sidled in while she was babbling on about you needing a regimented program to keep you in line."

I knew I shouldn't have been surprised. It was just like Snape to do something like that.

"She's an arrogant, conceited twit," he continued, "but she isn't clever enough to hatch such a scheme."

I nodded. "You're probably right. It would be like one of those 'the butler did it' situations."

He looked slightly amused. "Yes, perhaps we should knock Rougier off the suspects lists on account of the deed seeming too clichéd for a governess."

I smiled as I put my own cup down.

"I never asked you what your friends said about us missing classes last Wednesday," said Snape. "Did they accept it with no questions?"

"Sort of," I replied, thinking back to the previous Thursday morning when I had told my friends that Snape and I had been unwell the day before. "They accepted it. They did ask what sickness we had, but otherwise they didn't say anything at all."

Snape gave a satisfied nod. "Good."

"Though I believe they're suspicious just the same," I went on, meeting his gaze.

"How so?"

"I know them," I said simply. "They wouldn't normally accept such a story without asking more questions. The fact that they didn't ask questions seems to show that they _are _suspicious. They just knew better than to ask."

"Well reasoned," he said. "And Malfoy?"

"Haven't seen him," I answered, unconcernedly, "except in a few classes, but I don't sit anywhere near him. I was surprised that he hasn't stopped me after a class or something to ask questions."

"I spoke to him on Thursday during a prefect meeting," he said sneeringly. "He had the hide to ask me in front of all the prefects if I was feeling better."

I could see that someone as proud as Snape wouldn't appreciate something like that.

There was a sudden hoot from the entrance to our rooms and a fearsome looking black owl appeared. It soared over to where we sat on the sofa and landed on the armrest next to Snape.

"Father," I said quietly.

"Well, we've expecting this," Snape murmured, "seeing as I wrote to inform him that we were unwell before anyone else could." He untied the folded ivory parchment attached to the owl's leg.

I sat and watched him as he silently read the letter over to himself, his expression becoming more alarming with each line. Finally, he cleared his throat and began to read aloud.

_"Dear Severus,_

_Firstly, I would like to say that I hope my daughter is back in good health, seeing as her wellbeing is also my responsibility."_

I shook my head, and Snape paused to cast me a knowing look before looking back at the letter.

_"I do find it unusual that both you and Armilla were both suddenly unwell, considering that there is no bout of sickness currently going around the school that I know of."_

"Well, that's just ridiculous," Snape snarled. "With the number of students at this school, there is never a time when every one of them is in good health. It is easy to catch something." He shook his head, positively glowering as he continued.

_"In any case, I do wonder about the state of Armilla's immune system. Perhaps you should take the time to test it. We do not know exactly how common her lifestyle was with Merle Kemp. Armilla could be susceptible to all kinds of things."_

I stared at my brother, fuming. How dare my father write something like that?

"I know," Snape murmured, lightly touching my hand. "And for an intelligent man, he is incorrect. Even if you had been exposed to an environment with a larger variety of people and places, your immune system would most likely be stronger." He kept reading.

_"Seeing as exams are coming closer, I do hope you do everything in your power to prevent my daughter from becoming ill again. I would not like an illness to cause poor exam results, and most importantly, a fifteen-year-old pureblood witch who gets sick often is not at all attractive to potential suitors."_

Snape paused, his lip curling as he turned to me. "Perhaps you should fake sickness more often to drive people like Malfoy away." He smirked. "Well then, where's your rage?"

A few months ago I would have jumped up in protest at such a comment. But I really wasn't fazed by this. "You know, it's not really surprising to hear stuff like that now," I said simply.

My brother smiled slightly. "If that's the case, welcome to the family."

_"I do not hear from Armilla very often, Severus, only about once or twice a month. I do hope you do not discourage her from writing to me, as I am always happy to receive letters from her, no matter how dull they are."_

I laughed at this. I really found it very amusing. As Snape knew very well, I loathed writing to Father. Snape and I sat down once or twice a month together to write a formal letter to Father, informing him of my progress in my studies, and how much time I actually spent studying. I had nothing else to write to him about. I didn't want to discuss my friends, and I didn't think Father would even be interested in my friends, seeing as they weren't the decent Slytherin sort he liked. I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings with him because frankly, I knew he didn't care about me in that way. In all honesty, writing to my father was always a very dull experience, and it was no wonder that my letters were tedious to read as well.

"Honestly, what does he want me to write?" I asked.

Snape, who also looked amused, shook his head. "How am I to know? Your letters resemble the ones I wrote to Father when I was at school. I have no other suggestions. I know what I'd _like_ to write to him, of course, but the repercussions may not be worth it."

_"I do hope Armilla is associating with the right mix of students. It pains me to think of the mudbloods she must come into contact with everyday."_

I didn't say anything this time. I thought immediately of Hermione. True, I only really talked to Hermione in class these days, but I knew that if we had the chance, we would be closer than we were. I always avoided mentioning this fact to my brother, as I knew he didn't look upon Hermione favourably.

_"I hope to hear from Armilla soon. Until then, make sure you look after her properly._

_Father"_

"Such a delightful letter writer," Snape commented, his tone lace with sarcasm.

"He didn't ask if you were in good health," I pointed out, feeling offended on my brother's behalf.

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you think he would?" he said dryly.

"I…no, I suppose not."

Snape sighed. "Well go and get your quill and some ink and parchment then."

I groaned. "I've got to write to him tonight?"

He nodded curtly. "I would like to get it out of the way now."

I begrudgingly got the things I needed and sat down at the table. Snape came over to join me.

"Alright then," he said, sneering. "Why don't we tell him the dramatic tale of the time you made Miss Parkinson's hex backfire, causing her arm to turn into a flipper?"

I glared at him, though I knew he wasn't being serious. "That wouldn't be well received."

"Ah, perhaps not."

We sat in silence for a very long time, both thinking of more interesting things to write as opposed to my studies.

Finally, I had had enough.

"Why don't I just write to him about my studies?" I offered, looking innocently at Snape.

At first I got no response, as he was just staring at the table, lost in thought. Finally, he looked up, now looking completely unconcerned. "Excellent notion."

And that was that. Father could put up with it for all I cared.

o o o o o o o o o o

A couple of weeks later, Snape and I still had no news of who had sent the poison. Snape had said that the investigation might be a slow process, but I thought it was starting to get ridiculous. Either the Aurors were constantly meeting dead ends, or they were too blasé in their approach.

Upon asking him almost every time I saw him if there was any news, Snape told me that this was a prime opportunity to develop the art of patience, because I lacked a significant amount. I hadn't been happy to hear such a recommendation, and I knew that Snape was just as anxious as I. In fact, I believed the whole thing was really worrying him underneath, especially since whoever it was might try something again.

I had gotten a letter from Father a week after I had sent my utterly boring one. Father had complained that he had nearly dozed off upon reading my letter, and had said that I had better improve or he would be sending topics for me to write about. This had really annoyed me for two reasons, the first being obvious: the topics would be on ridiculous things like the importance of pure blood, why wizards are better and so on. The second one was that, upon writing the last letter, Snape and I had starting competing with each other over who could make up the most boring lines. We still weren't in agreement over who was better.

As it was now April, the fifth years were starting to look increasingly exhausted. The teachers were piling on the homework, expecting us all to find time to study as well. I was feeling the pressure just as much as my friends, even though I had Snape as a tutor on the side. I had to do well to avoid the wrath of my Father, and I felt that pressure deeply. At night I was occluding constantly so I wouldn't lie awake for hours worrying about receiving something less than an Outstanding.

The truth was, while my marks had steadily been Outstandings since I had been under Snape's tutelage, I was dreading stuffing up when the exams came. I was afraid that after studying so much, I would forget things once I had the exam in front of me. I knew Snape wouldn't kill me if I got an Exceeds Expectations or an Acceptable at the very least, but I feared my father's reaction more than anything else.

So even though I had been sleeping due to occluding, the pressure I was feeling must have made me look tired because Snape was still insisting that I go to bed at nine thirty when I was down in the dungeons, even though I had studying to do. It was a different story when I was in Ravenclaw Tower, studying with my friends. Sometimes we didn't get to bed until after midnight because we were making study notes, but my brother didn't need to know that. I knew he would be far from pleased if he found out.

On the Monday night before the Easter holidays began, I was sitting alone in the common room, working on an Arithmancy essay, feeling a little lonely. I knew I only felt that way because I was tired and fed up with studying, as well the fact that my friends were currently in the Room of Requirement, practising their Patronuses at the DA meeting.

I knew that Snape had finished Harry's Occlumency lesson now, as Harry was obviously at the DA meeting, but I was pretty sure he had a meeting with his seventh year Advanced Potions class tonight. Otherwise, I would have considered going down to the dungeons, just for some company. I had been told repeatedly that I didn't have to stick to the assigned days.

I was just rolling up my finished essay when a group of stricken looking Ravenclaws burst into the room, Lisa and Terry among them. Many people looked up curiously to see what all the commotion was about, but the group seemed to remember something and they gave each other warning looks. They moved into the room, their expressions showing nothing more than forced calm over what I believed was suppressed fear.

Most of them went walked straight to the stairs, and moved slowly up them. Once they were about halfway, I could hear them running. Lisa and Terry sought me out in our usual corner. Terry looked extremely white, and the hand that was not pulling Lisa along was shaking. Lisa was biting her lip, something she always did when she was about to cry.

I said nothing as they slowly sat down at the table, sitting opposite me. I stared from Lisa to Terry. Terry looked like he was about to be sick. Lisa, ashen faced, was still biting her lip. Noticing some people were still staring, I passed my friends a couple of books so they could pretend that they were doing homework until people lost interest in staring.

Lisa and Terry both took the hint, opening the books and turning the pages, obviously not seeing a word on them. I also pretended to be absorbed in a book, though all I could gather from the way they had burst in was that they had just escaped from something. Obviously, seeing that all the people were DA members, something must have happened between the Room of Requirement and Ravenclaw Tower.

They couldn't have been trying to escape being in trouble for being out after curfew, because it was still a couple of minutes to nine.

Finally, when many of the first and second years had retired to bed, and everyone else was either absorbed in conversation or study, I stared fixedly at my friends.

"Well?"

Terry opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"We…we," Lisa began, still looking stricken. She closed her mouth, clearly at a loss for words.

Terry tried again. "We're in deep trouble Mill," he whispered.

Lisa let a tear fall. "We're going to get expelled," she sobbed.

"Shh!" Terry gave her a warning look after staring around the room. No one seemed to have noticed.

"Expelled?" I repeated. I would have said Lisa was overreacting, but it seemed so easy to get expelled from Hogwarts these days.

They both nodded as Terry passed Lisa a tissue.

"We were caught, Mill," Terry whispered.

My heart must have skipped a beat. _Caught_? Oh no…

"And we're not sure everyone made it back to their common rooms," Lisa said, her voice thick through her tears. "Harry just told us to run and people went everywhere and there were-" she paused to hiccup.

"I saw all these Slytherins everywhere," Terry explained. "And I heard Umbridge's voice."

My heart was pounding in my chest. "The Inquisitorial Squad," I said quietly.

My friends nodded. I had warned them about the Inquisitorial Squad not long after Malfoy had invited me to join.

"How did they know you were there though?" I asked, utterly bewildered.

Terry shrugged.

"Someone must have given us away," said Lisa, wiping her eyes. She suddenly looked furious. "I'd _love_ to know I'll…I'll-"

"Do something stupid?" I suggested. "Don't try and handle it yourself, Lis, you'll only land yourself in more trouble."

She clenched her hands into fists and pounded them on the table.

"Lisa!" Terry hissed, looking around again.

A couple of the fourth years nearby had stopped their conversation to stare at us. Terry suddenly cleared his throat.

"Well don't get into a rage about it, Lisa. If you want to buy a Chudley Canons hat I'll support you, but I'd advise you to think better of it."

Lisa glared at Terry, even as comprehension of what he was trying to do dawned on her face.

"Personally," I added, "I don't think orange is your colour. You should really pick a team with colours that suit you."

Lisa seemed to let out a small growl. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the fourth years resume their conversation.

Lisa glared at me. "It doesn't matter. I can't _get_ into more trouble seeing as I'm going to be expelled. Don't you remember the sign on the wall in the Room of Requirement, Armilla? I signed it. I _signed_ it! And Umbridge will have it to wave around as proof, won't she?"

I stared at her. I really could not think of anything comforting to say. They were as good as expelled. They had both signed under the words _Dumbledore's Army_. There was nothing they could do.

"I had doubts about joining…_why_ did I do it?" Lisa moaned.

"My parents are going to kill me," Terry muttered, going even paler. "And we haven't even sat for our OWLs yet."

"I sh-should have s-said no like you, Mill," said Lisa, hiccupping again. "Now Terry and I are going to have to leave and you'll be here all alone."

Alone…I suddenly imagined what it would have been like if I had joined the group. I would be expelled too. Would I have still been allowed to live in the castle with Snape, since Dumbledore let Trelawney live in the castle? I didn't want to think about how my father would react to such a disgrace, let alone Snape.

"There's nothing you can do about it tonight," I said slowly. "What's done is done…my only hope is that Dumbledore will find a way around it for you. You can always rely on Dumbledore to act upon a technicality."

"Oh, he won't, he won't," Lisa exclaimed furiously, tears shining in her eyes. "I may as well go and pack." She stood up and stormed off towards the stairs.

Terry and I watched her go in silence. People were staring again. They probably thought we had had a row.

Terry sighed, looking at his shaking hands. "You know, I might go to bed," he murmured. "No point mulling over it all night…best to try and sleep…"

I nodded. "Probably a good idea," I said softly. I felt so bad for the two of them, as well as all the other members who were most likely in similar states to Terry and Lisa right now. I wondered how many the Inquisitorial Squad had caught. I was hit with a sudden rush of hatred towards Draco Malfoy and Umbridge.

After Terry bid me goodnight, I gathered up my books and also headed upstairs. I certainly wouldn't be able to concentrate on any more study tonight.

Except for Lisa, our dorm was empty. Padma Patil, Mandy Brocklehurst and Ruby Parkes were still downstairs.

The curtains around Lisa's bed were closed except for a small gap on the side facing my bed. I could see Lisa, who had changed into her pyjamas, sprawled on her bed, looking desperately lost and forlorn.

She didn't seem to hear me come in. I let her be as I got ready for bed. Saying anything more tonight would only get her more upset.

Just as I was about to get into bed, she spoke. "Armilla?" she said softly, her voice trembling.

I looked over at her, waiting for her to speak, but she said nothing.

I walked the few steps over to her bed and moved the curtains slightly so I could sit down on her bed. Taking her hand in mine and squeezing it a little, I just shook my head slightly as I looked down at her. She sniffed, and then closed her eyes. I could feel her hand shaking in mine.

I sat with her for a long time, and eventually the shaking stopped, though I knew she was still awake.

When the other girls came in at around ten thirty, they looked askance at me, but knew better than to enquire verbally. They quietly got ready for bed, politely ignoring us.

I continued to hold Lisa's hand and it wasn't until after midnight that Lisa finally fell asleep. Her deep breathing, sounding just like the other sleeping girls in the room, told me she had finally tired her worrying mind out.

I very carefully let go of her hand, and tiptoed over to my own bed. I laid down, feeling utterly exhausted, and worried sick for my friends. I knew if I didn't occlude, I would be awake for a lot longer, just thinking about what would happen now. Grateful that I was able to occlude, I put up my mental shield and blocked off all emotion.

o o o o o o o o o o

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of shouts downstairs in the common room. People were calling to one another and I heard footsteps pounding down the stairs. Lisa, also awake, looked at me in alarm.

"I'm going to go and see what's going on," I told her, pulling on a jacket. I followed Mandy and Padma out of the room and down the stairs.

Most of the students in the common room were also still in their pyjamas. They were crowded around the noticeboard, talking loudly to each other.

"He's gone!"

"Gone? What do you mean _gone_?"

"I dunno – there, take a look."

"Oh, God not another decree."

I groaned as I heard whoever it was say that.

I saw Terry pushing his way back through the crowd. He stopped when he spotted me.

"Dumbledore's gone, Mill," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"How do you know?"

He gestured towards the noticeboard. "Umbridge put up a new decree. She's become Headmistress overnight. Dumbledore couldn't possibly still be here."

My head buzzing slightly, I pushed my way through the crowd so I could see the wretched new decree for myself.

_BY ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC_

_Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced_

_Albus Dumbledore as Head of __Hogwarts__School__ of_

_Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_The above is in accordance with Educational Decree_

_Number Twenty-eight._

_Signed: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic_

"No," I said softly, scarcely believing my eyes. "No…"

News travelled like wildfire that morning. Dumbledore had certainly gone – and apparently no one knew where! The story went that the night before, Harry, along with several other people, had witnessed Dumbledore's disappearance in his office.

"Apparently he overcame Fudge, Umbridge, two Aurors, and that idiot Percy Weasley," said Terry, coming to join Lisa and I at breakfast, after talking to a couple of other DA members in the know.

"With Dumbledore's power that wouldn't be hard," I reasoned, looking over at Lisa.

She had been very quiet during breakfast, as if waiting for Umbridge to pounce on her to tell her to pack her bags. Besides having gotten her breakfast for her (which she hadn't eaten anyway), I didn't know what to say to her.

But Terry did.

"We won't be getting expelled, Lis," he said quietly, reaching out to take her hand.

Her head jerked up. "What? How do you know?" she said quickly.

"I just found out that Dumbledore took full responsibility for what happened," he whispered. "All I know is that he insisted that the whole idea of a group rising against the ministry was _his_ idea, and that's why the group was called Dumbledore's Army. He said he invited all the students on the list, so no students are getting expelled."

Lisa let out a shuddering breath and put her head in her hands.

"Thank God," I murmured, pushing my plate of half eaten breakfast away. "But what's the school going to be like now with Umbridge running it?"

Terry let out a laugh, his own way of dealing with the relief of not getting expelled.

"Shambles I suppose, considering the rest of the staff hate her as well. You know, Dumbledore's office has sealed itself against her and refuses to allow her access!"

I would have laughed too, but I was suddenly hit with a terrible thought. I hoped Snape would still be able to get into the office in some way. Mother's ring was in there!

"Mill?' said Terry, staring at me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I said distractedly, turning to search for my brother's face up at the staff table.

If his face was anything to go by, he seemed to be in a foul mood. It was no wonder really, considering the Headmaster was gone. Snape was sitting next to McGonagall, deep in conversation with her, his face becoming stonier by the second. I suddenly wasn't looking forward to double Potions with him that morning.

"So, do you want to know who the traitor was?" Terry asked airily, pouring milk into his coffee.

Lisa looked up. "_Yes_," she said heatedly.

Terry shook his head. "It was a Ravenclaw."

I opened my mouth in horror. It was a Ravenclaw? One of our own had given them away?

"Marietta Edgecombe," Terry whispered.

Lisa and I said nothing. We just stared at Terry, letting the information gained already that morning sink in.

"She is currently in the hospital wing," Terry went on, "with awful purple pustules clustered together on her nose and cheeks, spelling out the word _sneak_ in capital letters."

Yuck. She certainly deserved it though, in my opinion at least.

Lisa let out a dry laugh. "Good," she said harshly. "I hope it doesn't wear off."

"Well you might just be in luck," he said, smiling at her. "So far no one's been able to fix it. A great bit of jinxing on Hermione Granger's part. She had certainly planned an obvious way of knowing if someone gave the group away."

I smiled. I felt a rush of gratitude to Hermione. As mean it was, I was thrilled to bits that Marietta had those pustules on her face.

"It's a shame Dumbledore's gone though," I said quietly. "How many more decrees is Umbridge going to put through now that she's Headmistress?"

Lisa shrugged. "I don't want to think about it. It's too awful."

Terry looked thoughtful. "You might get the inside gossip from Snape, Mill." He glanced up at the staff table. "Though I'd try when he's in a better mood. He looks like he's about to hex someone."

o o o o o o o o o o

Terry and I had both come to the right conclusion about Snape's mood, and I knew every student who had double Potions that morning must have come out feeling lucky to have survived.

Snape didn't look at me as my friends and I passed him in the doorway after he had opened the door to the classroom. That didn't really put me off; he often didn't look at me when I passed him into the classroom. He was always too busy looking for other students to dock points from.

Before the lesson had gotten to the halfway mark, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had lost a combined total of fifty-five points and Snape had handed out no fewer than five detentions.

His alarming behaviour really worried me, especially since he still hadn't made eye contact with me at all. It felt as if I wasn't there in the room with him. He generally made eye contact with me at least once.

The closest he got to me was when he started berating Lisa for making her potion two shades lighter than it should have been.

"It clearly states to add _shredded_ roots, Miss Turpin," he spat, making Lisa recoil. "You must have chopped at least two of them for the potion to be that colour."

I thought that was really unfair. Maybe one or two of the roots Lisa had used hadn't been in the best condition, but I knew she hadn't chopped them. Her potion was nearly perfect.

"She didn't chop the roots, sir," Terry said quietly. "There must have been a couple of dud ones added."

I could have kicked Terry for jumping to Lisa's defence. Coming up against Snape in a mood like this would not come off well.

Sure enough, Snape rounded on him. "Ten points from Ravenclaw, Boot,' he snarled. 'I did _not_ ask for your input."

He turned and swept away to bully Susan Bones.

I snuck a glance at Terry and Lisa. Both looked shell-shocked. Snape had tormented them many times over the years, but this was the first time in months that he had put a considerable effort into it.

o o o o o o o o o o

At morning break, we gathered in the courtyard, in want of some fresh air.

"If I were you, Mill," said Lisa quietly, "I would think up some excuse to get out of staying at Snape's tonight. He's on the warpath."

Normally I would have laughed it off, but right now I couldn't. The truth was, I was a little concerned. Even after packing up and picking up my bag to leave, Snape hadn't looked at me. He had very conveniently busied himself at his desk and hadn't looked up at all. I wondered if I was just being paranoid because Snape was being awful to everyone else.

Terry nodded. "Yeah, I'd go over there as late as possible tonight, Milly."

I wished I could. I would have preferred to talk to him when he was in a more rational mood. But Snape and I always went over my homework on Tuesday nights, and I always had dinner down there with him. I generally just went down to the dungeons after classes for the whole school had ended. I had two free periods in the afternoon, which I often spent in Ravenclaw Tower.

Plans were changed though, when I went up to my dorm after lunch. Alone in the room, I took my chocolate frog card out, as I often did during the day when I was alone. I was a little relieved to see the wizard waving to me to indicate a message.

_Make sure you are down here by the time classes have ended today_

That was it. No explanation. If I didn't occlude, I would be a nervous wreck by the time classes ended.

I picked up my bag again and headed down to the dungeons, thinking that I would just go there early and get as much work done as I could before Snape came home.

On the way to the dungeons, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing bright lights. But they were there. Fireworks! I had to dodge a Catherine Wheel at the foot of the stairs leading down to the dungeons. I could think of two people I would name responsible for this. Umbridge must be having a lovely time trying to rid the castle of them. I would have to express my admiration to the Weasley twins the next time I saw them.

o o o o o o o o o o

I worked steadily through the afternoon, managing to get through my Potions essay (a particularly nasty one which seemed to match Snape's mood that day) and my Charms essay. Luckily, Snape had plenty of books that allowed me to do a good job on my Potions homework.

When the time came for classes to end, my heart started to pound. I strengthened my mental shield to block out my nerves, and it seemed to slow to the proper rate again.

I had just closed Morag's cage after coaxing her to eat and was sitting down at my desk again when I heard Snape come in. I could hear his footsteps coming closer and closer and I guessed that he was heading straight for my room.

Sure enough, a moment later he was standing in the doorway, still looking like he was in a foul mood.

He positively glowered at me.

"I've been waiting to have a word with you all day," he said, his voice hard.

I didn't answer. I figured it was best to be silent.

He walked further into the room and sat in the armchair next to my bed. For that I was grateful. He could be all the more intimidating when he was angry and towering over me.

For a few moments, he just gazed at me, his eyes glinting dangerously.

"I daresay you know of the events of last night?" he asked quietly, his eyes never leaving mine.

Slowly, I nodded.

"Yes?" he said harshly.

"Yes," I answered evenly, completely at a loss for what was coming.

"And so you would be aware of a certain list of names written under the words _Dumbledore's Army_?"

"Yes," I said again, occluding harder than ever. I didn't care that Snape didn't like me doing it in front of him.

He continued to just stare at me, as if waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, he continued.

"Am I mistaken in claiming that Mr. Boot and Miss Turpin had signed that list?"

"No."

He nodded curtly. "And how long has each of them been members of this…group…from the beginning?"

I was starting to feel very unsettled now. I wished Snape would just get straight to the point. "Terry was from the beginning. Lisa joined shortly after Christmas."

Again, he gave a curt nod. "Then am I to understand that you knew of the group, who the members were, where they met and what they were doing?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Ah." He sat back, still watching me closely. "Were you asked to join?"

I nodded. "Yes."

His black eyes were glittering. "And what was the basis of your decision?"

I was certainly confident in my answer. "I never even considered joining. It held no advantage to me, and besides that, I thought it was too risky."

He narrowed his eyes. "Well, there's some merit there then. I'm glad you showed some sense in that regard."

I stared at him, starting to feel annoyed myself. "You're implying that I haven't shown sense in another way."

He glared at me. "Indeed I am."

I said nothing.

"I am sure you are not delighted to have Umbridge as Headmistress, Armilla. I believe these events could have been prevented. Dumbledore would still be Headmaster today."

I occluded to suppress my anger. "You think I should have told you about it?" I said, being careful to keep my voice even.

"I do," he snapped. "Straightaway. If another teacher had caught the group, then the consequences wouldn't have been so serious because Umbridge _wouldn't_ have been informed. In this case, the worst possible people were involved and Dumbledore had to sacrifice his position as Headmaster to save Potter and everyone else from being expelled." He stopped, looking absolutely livid.

I was furious. "I can't control what everyone else does," I said heatedly. "I chose not to have any part in it and I didn't. I'm not connected to this at all because I chose not to be."

"You're missing the point," he said harshly. "If I had known about this then I could have told Dumbledore what they were doing and he could have handled it quietly."

It was all I could do to suppress all sorts of wild emotions. "You think this is all _my_ fault? Everything that's happened is _my_ fault?"

"I am _not_ saying it is your fault and you would do well to remember that," he snapped. "I am merely pointing out that this could have been prevented if I had known. It is Potter's fault for being so arrogant as to presume he could get away with running such a group."

"Have you seen Marietta Edgecombe's face?" I asked suddenly.

He glowered at me. "No, and I couldn't care less about her face. A childish jinx will wear off eventually, but who knows how long we'll have to put up with Umbridge."

"No one's been able to cure her," I pressed on, not caring whether Snape cared or not. "Who knows how long she'll have to put up with that? It doesn't do much for her character, does it, giving a whole group of people away? I'm sure Father wouldn't have appreciated hearing from Lucius Malfoy that I had _Sneak_ etched on my face, even if _you_ didn't care."

Snape glared at me. "Don't you speak to me like that."

I didn't care now. I was so angry. "It would have made an even better name for the family, you know, doing what people who joined the group predicted, _me_ giving them away."

He narrowed his eyes. "They thought _you_ were going to give them away? Why?"

"Because I'm a Snape," I said shortly. "Apparently they thought I wasn't to be trusted for that reason. People had their reservations about asking me to join the group because they believed I would only give them away for my own benefit."

He sneered. "Well that's their problem, Armilla. You would have done the right thing."

"I would rather have seen them get expelled than be named a traitor by them," I said, trying to stop my voice from shaking.

He sighed, as if willing himself to have patience. "I could have gotten rid of the Sneak mark if it had been etched on your face."

"That's not the point!" I exclaimed. "I would still be a traitor. They were all coming to view me as being in the same league as Malfoy at that time anyway because I had to be nice to him."

Comprehension dawned on Snape's face. "Is this around the same time that you thought you were dark?" he asked quietly.

Slowly, I nodded.

"I didn't want to be branded something I wasn't," I said. "Traitors never lose their title."

He stared sternly at me, but said nothing.

"I don't regret not telling you," I said quietly. "I'm not a Sneak, and I never will be."

He continued to watch me closely, but I said nothing more, and nor did he.

After a moment, he got up and walked to the door. With his hand on the door handle, he turned around.

"You can stop occluding now," he said, his eyes narrowed.

I stared up at him, still saying nothing. I was so furious with him.

He turned and closed the door with a snap behind him.

As his footsteps faded away, I took the guard down properly.

To say that I had to reach for a couple of tissues would be an understatement.


	62. Break the Habit

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 61

Ten minutes later, I was still sitting with a tissue in my hand, staring at the closed bedroom door. I was fuming, and all the emotions that had built up under the shield whilst Snape was having his say had exploded when I had taken the shield down.

In an attempt to distract myself from the anger I was feeling towards my brother, I pulled out my Charms study notes. I didn't really need to do a lot of revision for Charms, as it was one of my best subjects, but I was in too bad a mood to start revising History of Magic.

As it turned out, taking down my mental shield certainly didn't advantage my studying skills. I must have read the same paragraph five times before I even comprehended what I was reading. My mind was focused solely on the man out in the sitting room.

I was so furious with him. In my opinion, I _had_ done the right thing by not joining the DA. In Snape's opinion, the right thing would have been coming to tell him about it. But that would have meant branding myself a traitor to the people who opposed the Dark Lord and Umbridge, and that would have certainly earned me the reputation of being untrustworthy, as many of the DA members had predicted.

I wouldn't have been able to bear people thinking that I was a sneak…in those circumstances anyway. If it had been students doing something I believed to be catastrophic, then I might have considered telling my brother.

But what the DA chose to do was their choice, not mine. That was the decision I had made. I took no involvement and yet Snape was still angry.

I wasn't so narrow-minded as to believe that Snape had no foundation for his case. Of course he had made a valid point that if I had told him then Dumbledore's sudden departure from the school could have been prevented. But Dumbledore knew how to keep himself hidden. He would carry on effectively still, without having to run the school at the same time.

I would never have been able to drop the title of sneak. I would have lived up to the image that the other students thought suited a Snape. I generally never worried what other students thought, but being thought a sneak was something I wouldn't have liked at all.

Perhaps that did sound selfish on my part, but like I had said to my brother, I didn't regret not telling him. I wasn't perfect; it did sound like I was only concerned about saving my own skin without caring about the consequences of anyone else. Whether that was being Slytherin or not, I didn't care.

I believed that all the DA students were better off now. They had learned a great deal from Harry in the time they had and no one knew if something would happen one day where they would need those skills.

Even if I had told, I believed Harry would have found a way to practise anyway. He had already landed himself with many detentions from Umbridge for his determination to announce that the Dark Lord had returned; the thought of practising Defence behind her back would have appealed to Harry very much.

Now it seemed like I was making excuses, trying to justify my reasons to myself. Perhaps I was trying to find ways to stop any traces of doubt coming into my mind, after dealing with Snape only moments ago. He certainly had a way of making you feel small.

I didn't think that he was likely to back down over this either. Even if he did, I knew he would be angry with me for another reason. I had occluded the whole time he had been in my bedroom. I knew he didn't like me occluding in front of him, and he had certainly known that I was doing it. If I hadn't have put the shield up, I knew I would have gotten emotional, and then I would have gotten terribly embarrassed and frustrated for not having more control.

Snape's last words before leaving had not been in reference to the DA, the reason for which he had come, but about me occluding. It was pretty clear that he was letting me know that he was not impressed about that either.

I knew it sounded a bit obstinate, but I didn't regret leaving my shield up either. I had felt defensive about my actions and I had wanted to defend myself to Snape without breaking down.

I never liked disappointing him, but it felt that it would have no matter which way I went. Now I was so confused. I tried with all my might not to let doubt seep through into my mind, but Snape's angry voice kept repeating itself over and over in my head. _You're missing the point. If I had known about this then I could have told Dumbledore what they were doing and he could have handled it quietly._

I hated him being angry with me. I didn't like feeling that I wasn't living up to his expectations. He was the person who I always wanted to please more than anyone else in the world. Just thinking about the way he had glowered at me was more than I could bear. It was strange how you could upset someone you didn't love and not be bothered; while you could do the same thing to someone you loved and have it bother you deeply. I supposed just how upset I was about the whole thing really showed how much I loved my brother.

But I just couldn't back down. I felt that I had done the right thing, no matter what Snape thought. I had acted upon instinct, which had told me to decline the invitation and keep the information to myself. I hoped if I could appreciate that Snape had a point, then he would appreciate that I had a point too. I didn't want him to think that I had just made a bad decision and had to learn from it. I didn't think I _had _made a bad decision. Perhaps we would just have to agree to disagree on the matter.

I thought Snape must have been marking homework or something out in the sitting room. I supposed that if we were going to revise my study notes, as we generally did on a Tuesday night, we would do it after dinner. We didn't have a set time for going over my work, but I still had the feeling that it was being put off for later. I was grateful for that. Our moods might have improved by then. I was far from enthusiastic about the thought of having to go and have dinner. I wasn't hungry, but the sole reason was tension that would be in the room.

So I stayed in my room, going over my work by myself, and Snape stayed out in the sitting room. Even Morag knew there was something wrong, because when I finally closed my Charms book with a sigh, she fluttered over to land on my arm, turning pretty shades of silver and blue, resembling a potential new Ravenclaw mascot. I knew it was her way of trying to cheer me up and showing me support. I stroked her feathers absently, my mind still preoccupied with Snape.

Not long after, I heard a sharp rap on my door.

"Come and get your dinner," said my brother's voice, his tone abrupt. His footsteps faded away towards the sitting room again.

Knowing I couldn't possibly avoid dinner, seeing as that would be another reason on Snape's list to be angry with me, I slowly got up and made my way out to the sitting room.

Snape was just sitting down when I came out. As usual, being a stickler for proper table manners, he waited until I was sitting down before he began eating. He barely cast a glance in my direction before he picked up his knife and fork.

I really wasn't hungry, but I knew forcing myself to eat was the better alternative to my brother's wrath.

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes, and I didn't find the silence peaceful at all. Finally, Snape was the first to speak.

"I do not wish to start another debate over this," he said, fixing me with a stern gaze. "However, I would like you to answer a question."

"Alright," I said, meeting his gaze.

Snape sneered. "Should I give you a moment first to start occluding?" he said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Somewhere deep within, I felt something like fire suddenly erupt and spread through me fiercely. I didn't put my shield up, but I had enough control to keep the anger from my face.

"No," I answered, keeping my face impassive.

His sneering expression was replaced with an indifferent one at my answer. I wondered if he had expected me to reply with an angry retort.

"Very well," he continued, his eyes never leaving mine. "Have you ever taught your friends or any other member of Potter's little Defence group any of the advanced magic that I taught you?"

"No, I haven't," I said, honestly. I felt tempted to add _I knew better than that,_ but I knew it would come out with a tone unacceptable to Snape. I felt a bit offended that he would even ask something like that.

He nodded curtly, and returned to his dinner.

I wondered if this was how it was going to be. Was Snape going to fume until I confessed that the whole thing was my fault and begged for his forgiveness? I had made him angry plenty of times before, but in this case we were both convinced that we were right. Maybe with time his anger would lessen and he would just move on…or maybe that was just positive thinking. When Snape was angry, he generally stayed angry for a long time.

We finished the meal in silence, and I was very ready to return to my bedroom for the night. I would have loved to have gone back to Ravenclaw Tower, not to avoid my brother, but to escape the tension. I didn't want to appear weak. If Snape wanted to talk, then I would talk.

Placing my knife and fork on my plate, I waited to be excused.

Snape took out his wand and vanished our plates back to the kitchen.

Putting his wand away, he looked expectantly at me. "Well go and get your work then," he said shortly, looking irritated.

I went back to my room to collect my books, careful not to take too long. I didn't want to make Snape's tetchy mood even worse.

Returning to the table, I said nothing as Snape proceeded to look over what work had been covered in my other classes over the past week. Generally he would make a snide remark about what Umbridge was covering in Defence Against the Dark Arts, or a witty comment about History of Magic, inspired from the insults book I gave him.

Tonight, he made no such comments. He only spoke to lecture on a particular topic covered, or to add to the information I had. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like his student again, instead of his sister.

o o o o o o o o o o

I went to bed that night not only feeling angry, but also frustrated. I didn't want to go to bed feeling angry with Snape. I wanted to work things out. Merle had always believed in never walking away angry from a situation. It seemed Snape was intent on behaving indifferently towards me rather than showing his anger.

Laying in bed, plagued by these thoughts, my anger was suddenly replaced with guilt. Was Snape only behaving indifferently towards me because I had been occluding? Was he trying to make me feel what he was feeling? I felt awful when Snape treated me with indifference. Did he feel that way when I occluded in front of him? Was that why he was doing it? Not just because he was angry about the DA?

My instincts told me that this _was_ the case, and the guilt I felt was overwhelming. If Snape _had_ just been angry about the DA, then he would have continued ranting at me until I had gotten the message.

Snape's indifference had nothing to do with the DA. Snape was indifferent towards people when he didn't want them to know what he was thinking or feeling. Because I had occluded in front of him, I had given him the message that I wanted to block him from my emotions. Feeling offended by this, he had obviously decided to treat me with indifference to block me off from _his_ feelings. I was being blocked off because I did the same to him. Perhaps this was what he was going to do every time I occluded from now on.

I owed Snape an apology for occluding. As strongly as I had felt about it earlier, guilt was making me lean towards the opposite now. I supposed that was what happens when you're left alone with your thoughts too long. If I had stopped occluding, Snape would have seen a lot more emotion, and I would have been embarrassed. But I got the feeling that he would have had more respect for me if I had left it down anyway. Along with another pang of guilt, I was hit with the thought that I was always allowed to show those emotions to Snape. He had never told me to stop being a baby, even early on when we hadn't known each other very well.

If Snape's indifference towards me had been a lesson, then I had gotten the message, and I felt terrible.

I wanted to go out and just talk to him, but he was in a foul mood. I wasn't sure if he was even in the right frame of mind to listen to an apology that only applied to occluding, not my hidden knowledge of the DA. Perhaps he would be in a more rational mood the next day, and then I could apologise without him glaring at me the way he had done so much that night.

I stayed awake for hours, just worrying about the whole situation. Whether I had been occluding or not, I should have fallen asleep easily after having stayed awake to sit with Lisa the night before. I was meant to occlude at night, so I could be sure to avoid having nightmares and have undisturbed sleep. But that night, I was thinking about Snape so much that when I did finally drift off, I had awful dreams all night.

In one of them, Marietta Edgecombe told all the DA members that I had told her to sneak, and in another Harry Potter was asking me why I hadn't warned him about the Inquisitorial Squad. I wasn't even sure if Harry knew about the Inquisitorial Squad. The worst one was Umbridge telling me that I was expelled, and that I would have to live with my father since Snape lived at Hogwarts.

What was interesting was the fact that no dreams had involved Snape being angry with me, even though that was what I had been worrying about when I had fallen asleep. Snape hadn't really played a huge part in my dreams, except for the part with Harry. In that scene, Snape had been standing a few feet behind me, but not listening to Harry.

I awoke on Wednesday morning still feeling tired, and not in the best of moods. No matter how bad my mood though, I was going to apologise to Snape about occluding before we went up to breakfast. I didn't want to go through the day wondering if Snape was on proper speaking terms with me.

However, after I had showered, dressed and made my way out to the sitting room, I got the feeling that Snape had already left. His bedroom door was closed, but the lab door was open and the room was empty, and I highly doubted that _Snape_ had slept in. This did nothing to soothe any worry I felt about Snape still being angry with me. After all, this man did know how to hold a grudge. And if he wasn't holding a grudge against me, he was an expert at making his anger last longer than the average person.

I waited until the last possible moment before I went up to breakfast, somehow hoping that he was going to come back. When it was clear that he wasn't coming back, I picked up my bag and slowly made my way along the cold dungeon corridor, feeling extremely disheartened.

But as I rounded a corner I nearly bumped into Snape, who was coming from the opposite direction, which led towards the Slytherin common room.

"Oh, there you are," he muttered, his expression still as indifferent as it had been the night before. "I thought you might already be in the Great Hall."

He turned and walked in the same direction as me, through another corridor off the one that we were in, which led to the stairs connected to the Entrance Hall.

"I was waiting for you," I said quietly, not looking at him. The truth was, I was so relieved to see that he had clearly been coming back to meet me that I was feeling bad all over again that I had doubted him. I really had thought that he was so angry that he had left without bothering to tell me. The guilt I had felt the night before seemed to double itself.

"I got called out early to settle a row between a couple of seventh years in the Slytherin common room," he explained, keeping his voice low.

"Oh."

I still wanted to apologise to him, but I knew a dungeon corridor wasn't the best place to do it. I would have to go down to the dungeons that night, after Harry had had his Occlumency lesson.

Snape said no more as we made our way up the stairs and into the Entrance Hall. He didn't seem interested in conversation at all.

"Have a good day," he said shortly when we got to the Great Hall. With that, he turned and swept away to walk past the Slytherin table on his way up to the staff table.

I made my way over to the Ravenclaw table, a little thankful that I didn't have Potions that day. I had the feeling that Snape's even more intimidating approach to his classes, which we had witnessed the day before, wouldn't improve much that day.

"Morning," said Lisa, as I sat down beside her. Terry, whose mouth was full of food, just nodded in greeting.

"Morning," I replied, stifling a yawn.

"Well how was it then?" Lisa asked, pushing the plate of toast towards me.

"How was what?" I wasn't really with it; I was too busy watching Snape conversing with a few seventh year Slytherins.

Lisa followed my gaze. "Snape," she said. "How was he yesterday afternoon when you went down? He seemed in such a bad mood in Potions that I thought even you might cop it."

I shrugged. I didn't really want to share what had happened with my friends. It would only make them indignant about Snape, and besides that, I just didn't feel comfortable sharing such a private thing.

"He wasn't in the best mood," I said, absentmindedly pulling my toast apart.

Terry was watching me closely. "Did he say what was up? I mean, Snape's always nasty in Potions, but yesterday he took things to a new level."

Again, I just shrugged. "I suppose he isn't thrilled that Dumbledore's gone, not to mention that Umbridge is Headmistress."

Terry nodded. "Fair point, I guess. He just seemed to show it more than the other teachers."

"Well, we all have our bad days," I said vaguely, now breaking my toast into tiny pieces.

"Is this a new way of eating toast?" Lisa looked pointedly at my plate.

"Yep," I said, as I put a bit of it into my mouth. I looked up at the staff table. Snape had now seated himself and seemed absorbed in _The Daily Prophet_. More than anything else at that moment, I wanted to go and talk to him. I wanted to make things alright. But I didn't know if he would just stay mad at me, even if I did apologise for occluding. He might just stay furious about not telling him about the DA.

o o o o o o o o o o o

My day turned out okay, right up until dinnertime. All my classes had been fine, and Hermione had been lovely to me as always during the classes we had together, and hadn't even mentioned the DA. I still spent the day worrying about Snape, and when I did see him at the staff table during lunch, he didn't make eye contact with me at all.

I also worried about Mother's ring. I didn't know how I was going to be able to talk to her, seeing as her ring was shut up in Dumbledore's office. If Dumbledore didn't come back, then I wouldn't be able to see her.

Just as I was leaving Ravenclaw Tower to walk to the Great Hall for dinner with my friends, Umbridge came down the corridor and made a beeline for me.

"Miss Snape," she said pleasantly, giving me a toad-like smile. "I would like to see you for a moment in my office."

My heart must have skipped a beat. What could I have possibly done now?

My friends were looking at me with apprehensive faces.

"Oh you aren't in trouble, dear," Umbridge went on, her voice becoming even higher. "There is just something I need to speak to you about."

I had no choice but to follow Umbridge. I shrugged at my friends when Umbridge had turned, to point out that I had no idea what was going on, and walked after Umbridge. I dearly hoped that we wouldn't come across Snape or Malfoy. It certainly wasn't a good look to be trailing after the Headmistress.

Thankfully, we didn't come across either, and when we reached Umbridge's office, she told me in a very polite voice to take a seat.

I sat down in front of her desk, trying not shudder at the memory of the last time I had been there. She had made me use a quill during detention which wrote with my own blood, which had also cut the words I had been writing into the back of my hand. Snape had healed it for me later, during the detention I had with him.

The office hadn't changed much, except for the wooden block sitting on her desk that said _Headmistress_, and three broomsticks which were chained to an iron peg in the wall behind the desk.

"Now you must have tea with me," Umbridge began, waving her wand. A pot of steaming tea, a jug of milk, and two cups suddenly appeared on the desk.

"Oh," I said, feeling uncomfortable. "No thankyou." I wasn't about to drink anything Umbridge offered me. Merle had always said not to touch anything offered from a person I didn't trust, even if they were in a position of authority. I was racking my brains trying to find a reason for Umbridge's sudden desire to talk to me.

"Come now, dear," Umbridge insisted, smiling at me again. She really _did_ look like a toad. "It is polite to accept a drink when it is offered to you, especially when you have been invited for a chat." She gave me what I suppose she thought was a knowing look. "I daresay Professor Snape would not like you to forget your manners in front of his colleagues."

"No, Ma'am," I said quietly. Actually, I knew exactly what Snape would want me to do, and it certainly would _not _involve eating or drinking anything given to me by Umbridge.

"Well, then," she said brightly, pouring the tea into the cups. "You must have some tea. Now be a dear and go and open that window, it's quite stuffy in here." She nodded in the direction of the window near the back of the room.

I got up and walked over to the window. I found it strange that I was being told to open a window. It would have been quite simple for Umbridge to raise her wand and open the window with magic. But of course, doing _that_ wouldn't distract me. I knew exactly what she was up to; I wasn't stupid. However, I decided to play along for the time being.

I watched as she unlocked a small cupboard behind her desk with her wand, and reached for a sugar pot. She proceeded to drop a teaspoon of it into a cup.

"Right then, here we are," she said, pushing the other cup into my hands after she placed the sugar pot back inside the cupboard, and locking the cupboard once more. "Drink up, dear."

I raised the cup to my lips, and pretended to drink, whilst keeping my lips pursed.

Umbridge took a sip of her own tea.

"It is the right strength for you?" she asked.

I nodded, thinking quickly. "Yes, but may I have some sugar, Professor?"

She beamed. "Oh certainly. You should have told me that you like sugar in your tea." She put her own cup down, got up, and turned back to open the cupboard, taking her wand out to unlock it again.

As silently as I could, I leaned forward and lifted the edge of the rug that the desk sat on and poured a small amount of the tea onto the floor. Before it could spread too much, I put the edge of the rug back in its place to let it soak up the tea from underneath.

My heart was pounding the whole time, especially as I had one eye on the rug and one eye on Umbridge's turned back. I was terrified of being caught. When she straightened up holding the sugar pot, however, she seemed none the wiser.

I placed my cup back on her desk so she could put some sugar in it.

"There we are, drink up," she said, after putting the sugar in.

I pretended to take another sip.

"Better?"

"Yes, thankyou," I replied.

"Good." She placed the sugar pot on the desk, looking at me closely. "Has your brother spoken to you about the whereabouts of Dumbledore?"

_Ah_. So she thought I might have some inside information, since I was related to Snape.

"No, Ma'am," I said, keeping my voice flat. I wanted to make sure that she believed that I was under the influence of Veritaserum.

Umbridge's eyes flashed. "No? Don't let your tea get cold. Have another drink."

I raised my cup again and pretended to drink and swallow.

"Lovely," she said, watching me. "Now, your brother hasn't mentioned Dumbledore's disappearance to you at all?"

"No, Ma'am."

Umbridge looked angry. "Is Professor Snape a close confidant of Dumbledore?"

"I don't know, Ma'am. I suppose he is, as far as discussing teaching matters and students."

Umbridge sighed, tapping her fingers on he desk. "This is not helpful," she muttered. "Did your brother mention if McGonagall knows where Dumbledore is?"

"No, Professor." Really, it was a stupid question. I had already said that Snape hadn't mentioned Dumbledore's disappearance to me. I bet she was hoping that she could fool me into telling her about secret meetings between staff members plotting against her and Fudge.

Umbridge pounded her fist on the desk. "Does your brother not mention _any_ staff related matter to you, child?"

"Sometimes he tells me when he's going to a staff meeting," I said, keeping my voice monotonous. "Otherwise, no."

Umbridge looked infuriated. "Well _this_ was a waste of time then," she muttered, shaking her head. "Very well, you may go down to dinner."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I placed my cup back on her desk and left as quickly as I dared. I went straight to the Great Hall. I would have gone straight to Snape, but as it was just after six-thirty, I thought Harry's Occlumency lesson would be still going. At least I had another reason to go down and see my brother later. I knew he would be furious if I didn't tell him about what had just happened.

"What did she want?" Terry demanded, wasting no time to enquire as I sat down.

"To question me about Dumbledore's disappearance," I answered, rolling my eyes. "She thought Snape might know something and then-"

"Tell you about it," Lisa finished.

"Exactly."

"As if you would tell her anything anyway," said Terry, looking indignant.

"Well, I think she put Veritaserum in my tea," I whispered. My friends looked alarmed. "Don't worry; I wasn't stupid enough to drink it."

"You fooled her?" Terry whispered.

"Well I kept the cup in my hands so she couldn't see how much I was drinking, but I did manage to dispose of some of it rather thoughtfully."

They both grinned.

"So she wasn't satisfied with the lack of information then?" Lisa looked amused.

I shook my head. "Not really. I wasn't a help to her at all."

"Ah well then," said Terry, stabbing at his baked potato. "Hopefully she'll leave you alone."

o o o o o o o o o o o

At about eight o'clock, I made the excuse to my friends that I had to go down to the dungeons to inform Snape of my meeting with Umbridge. I supposed it wasn't really an excuse, seeing as I _was_ going to tell him about it, but I had already planned to go down to Snape anyway. I thought Harry's lesson had to have finished a while before, and I wanted to get down there and back before curfew.

I walked past his office, intending to see if he was still in there. There was no light coming from underneath the door, so I made my way to our quarters.

He wasn't in the sitting room either, but the bubbling and chopping sounds coming from the lab told me that he was home.

Obviously having heard me arrive, the chopping stopped and a moment later he was standing in the doorway of the lab.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked, frowning at me.

I wanted to snap back that he had told me that I could stay down in the dungeons any night of the week. But I knew that would not help things. Besides, it seemed he was still in a questionable mood.

"I needed to talk to you," I said quietly.

He folded his arms, his lip curling. "I do hope it is important, Armilla," he said in a hard voice. "I am exceedingly busy."

"It was important enough for me to come down here," I replied, trying not to sound resentful. Really, his mood seemed worse than the night before. He seemed even angrier at me tonight than he was yesterday.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Be careful how you speak," he said coldly. Clearly, I _had _sounded resentful. "Why did you wait to come until now?"

"I wasn't sure what time you finished teaching Harry."

I noticed that upon mention of Harry's name, Snape's fingers flexed before curling into fists.

"I have _finished_ teaching Potter," he spat. "For good. I have had enough and will not waste any more time on him."

What had Harry done? Perhaps not all the anger was directed at me…

"Wait a moment," he said. "I don't want to ruin this potion." He swept back into his office, and shortly after, the bubbling sound stopped.

I didn't sit down to wait. I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Not long after, he emerged again and stood at the entrance of the corridor, his arms folded.

"Well, what is it?" He looked completely indifferent.

"Umbridge came looking for me when I was going down to dinner earlier," I began.

Snape's eyes flashed. "What did she want?" he demanded.

"She said she wanted to speak to me about something. I had to go with her to her office, and she insisted that I drink tea with her."

Snape's face contorted with fury as he strode forward to stand in front of me. "You didn't drink it, did you?"

"No, of course not!" I said indignantly. "I do know better than that."

He scowled at me. "I believe I just told you to be careful how you speak."

I forced myself to pause before I replied, just so I could calm the racing feelings I felt inside without resorting to occluding.

"I just pretended to drink it," I said, keeping my voice calm. "I poured some of it under her rug when she wasn't looking so that it would appear that I had been drinking it."

He gave me a calculating look, and I couldn't understand why. He nodded. "Very well. And I assume she asked you questions?"

I nodded. "She asked me if you had mentioned Dumbledore's disappearance to me or spoken about his whereabouts…and I said you hadn't."

He nodded, his expression unreadable.

"Then she asked me if you were a close confidant of Dumbledore. I said you were as far as teaching went. And then she asked me if you had mentioned McGonagall knowing the whereabouts of Dumbledore, and I said you hadn't."

I still got no hint from his face as to what Snape was thinking.

"And how did she take that?"

"She wasn't happy," I said honestly. "But she knew she couldn't do anything about it."

He nodded curtly. "Did she ask you anything else?"

"Yes. She asked me if you ever spoke to me of anything staff related, and I said no more than mentioning staff meetings. Were they all the right things to say?"

He stared at me for a moment, before nodding again. "Yes, your answers were fine. And there was nothing else?"

"No," I said quietly. "She let me go after that."

"Very well…you're alright then?"

"Yes," I answered, feeling a tiny bit better that he had asked.

Nodding, he turned and walked in the direction of the corridor.

Thinking I was dismissed, I opened the door to leave. Snape spun round.

"What are you doing?" he said sharply, glaring at me.

"Going back to Ravenclaw Tower," I answered quietly. I would apologise to him tomorrow, or when he seemed in a better mood not to bite my head off at the slightest thing.

He shook his head. "No, you are _not_," he said curtly. "You've come down here, so you can _stay _down here."

I felt uncomfortable. Hadn't the man just said that he was exceedingly busy?

"Close the door, Armilla," he snapped.

I closed the door, feeling uneasy. I turned back to him, trying not to show my discomfort.

His expression remained indifferent. 'I'm going back to the lab,' he said shortly, 'so there's no need to start occluding.' He turned on his heel and disappeared inside the lab, closing the door behind him.

My eyes prickling with tears, I slowly made my way to my bedroom. After closing the door, I sat down on my bed, barely glancing at Morag, who had hooted in greeting.

Snape's comment about occluding had proved that he was certainly still furious about me occluding in front of him the day before. I felt so guilty. Snape's glaring face kept coming up in my mind, and I reached a hand up to wipe my eyes.

I sat there for a long time, just thinking. I wished I could fix things. Having Snape look at me with such anger was too much to handle.

Finally, I realised that I would be told off for wasting time if Snape suddenly walked in. I had left all my books on my bed up in my dorm, so there was no way of retrieving them. There were a few Potions textbooks lying on my desk, so I decided to spend some time reading over some potions that were likely to come up in my OWL. Snape had already spent a great deal of time going over them with me, but I needed something else to think about tonight.

As it turned out, I was not much better at concentrating tonight than I had been last night. If I had occluded I might have been able to do a better job, but I just didn't feel like putting the shield up.

At five past nine, I decided that I would just go to bed, even if it was still early. Just like the night before, I stayed awake for ages, just thinking about how I had upset Snape. I didn't want to lie awake all night worrying about it.

At half past ten, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. I _had_ to apologise tonight, whether Snape was in a bad mood or not. Taking all the courage I could muster, I crawled out of bed and opened my door.

The lab door was open, but the room was in darkness. I turned right instead and headed out to the sitting room, where there was still light coming from the sconces on the walls.

Snape was sitting on the sofa, reading a Potions journal. He looked up at the sound of my footsteps.

"What's the matter?" he asked, the indifference slipping from his face long enough to show a brief look of concern.

"I need to talk to you," I murmured, feeling even more guilt in his presence.

"Ah," was all the response I got. He simply gestured for me to come and sit down next to him on the sofa.

"Well then?" he said curtly, after I had sat down. "Talk."

It was probably a combination of the intensity of his gaze and the abrupt tone that made me feel suddenly under pressure. I felt small.

I decided to get straight to the point, as I felt the tears threatening again, and I _didn't_ want them to resurface. "I'm sorry for occluding in front of you yesterday."

His expression didn't change in the slightest.

"Are you?" he said, his tone flat.

I nodded. "I know you don't like me doing it, and I'm sorry that I did it anyway. It was the wrong way to handle things. I was tactless."

He stared at me for a moment, his face still unfathomable. Finally, he spoke.

"You didn't feel confident to handle the situation without Occlumency?"

I shook my head.

He narrowed his eyes. "So that was the plan? At the first hint that I was not pleased with you, you started to occlude?"

I decided to be honest. "I started to occlude before you came in," I said quietly.

He raised an eyebrow, scowling slightly. "You anticipated that I was going to be angry then?"

I nodded, biting my lip.

"And what made you think that?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Potions," I said simply. "You wouldn't look at me."

"Ah," he said again, looking away.

"I was worried when I got the message from you to be down here straight after classes ended," I went on. "And I started to occlude because that's the only way I could control it."

Snape's eyes flashed as he looked back at me.

"Do you fear me?" he said harshly.

I shook my head. "No," I said honestly, not even having to ponder the question.

"Then why did you worry to such an extent about seeing me that you needed to occlude?" he demanded, looking furious.

"Because I didn't know how else to handle you being angry with me," I responded quietly, feeling very small. "I worried all afternoon…I didn't know what to do about it, so I occluded to block it out. I just kept going when you came in."

He stared at me, his face giving nothing away.

"I _am_ sorry that I did it," I said, my voice barely audible. "I'm not just saying it, and I'm not occluding now."

He stared at me. "Yes, I can see that," he said quietly. "I do _not_ like you occluding when you're just in my company. Perhaps you will give that fact more consideration in future."

I nodded, feeling terribly guilty.

He looked seriously at me. "I appreciate that you've apologised for occluding. You _do_ know how I feel about it. I suppose it is needless to say that it feels like you don't want to share your feelings with me when you do it."

"I know," I whispered. "I know I shouldn't have done it. I didn't like being blocked out from _you_ either."

He looked grimly at me. "I didn't think you would, but I suppose you realise now how it feels."

I nodded. So he _had_ been acting indifferent to teach me a lesson. As well as being angry at me in general for doing it in the first place, _and _for not telling him about the DA.

"I do," I murmured, my eyes stinging. "I've felt guilty all day."

Snape sighed, leaning forward to place the journal on the coffee table.

"Just about occluding?"

So he wanted to know if I had changed my mind about my actions regarding the DA. My discomfort grew enormously.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Do you want me to say that I feel bad that I didn't tell you?"

"No," he said abruptly. "That would be lying. You don't feel bad."

I shifted slightly. "I do feel bad about making you so angry," I murmured, looking away. "But I don't know how to fix things because we won't agree."

We sat in silence for a moment. "Well, that's just it, Armilla," he said quietly. "It does appear that we're each set in our own view on this."

"It's not that I'm narrow-minded," I said, looking back at him. "I do know that you have a point."

He inclined his head. "As do you, I do acknowledge that. It would seem though, that we each have a different opinion as to what the right path would have been, and as a result, we have been angry with each other."

"I don't know how to fix that," I murmured, feeling uncomfortable.

He sighed, looking tired. "It's not your place to fix it. It's been on _my_ mind all day that I was unable to change your opinion of the situation. I_ was_ angry with you about it, as well as the fact that you were occluding-," he paused to glare at me, "-but I've come to the conclusion that we're not always going to agree on things, and I am going to have to live with that, as much as I won't always like it."

"But won't you stay angry at me about things that way?"

He frowned. "Armilla," he said, looking very serious. "Listen carefully. If you do something or make a decision that I am not happy about, I have every right to be angry about it, just as you would if the situation was reversed. If I let you know that I am angry, that is not the cue for you retreat into your shell and block me from your emotions."

I swallowed, still feeling guilty. "But I got the impression before that you were still too angry to talk to me…that's why I wanted to leave."

He stared at me, as though thinking deeply about something. "I regret giving you the impression that I didn't want you down here. I suppose it is no excuse, but I haven't had the best day and didn't particularly feel like talking to anyone."

I felt alarmed. "Did I make your day that _bad_?"

"Of course not, Armilla," he scoffed. "I spent the morning dealing with problems with seventh year Slytherins between classes, I had a third year Hufflepuff blow up his cauldron, and then Montague turned up in a toilet."

"How did he get in there?"

His mouth twitched and for a moment I thought he was going to smile. 'Yes, exactly what I said. But he's out now and quite disoriented."

"And Harry?" I asked.

His face darkened. "_Potter's_ little adventure was the climax. I don't want anything more to do with that impudent little…" he looked sideways at me, "…student."

For want of a better word, I supposed. I wondered what Harry had done, but I thought better than to ask. Instead I waited for him to speak, hoping that he would share it with me. Dumbledore wasn't around to confide in, and I highly doubted that Snape thought Dumbledore would understand whatever it was anyway. Snape did believe that Dumbledore favoured Harry.

Snape narrowed his eyes as he looked at me. "You're waiting for me to tell you, aren't you?"

"No," I answered. "I wouldn't expect you to."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "It's not my place to know."

We were both silent for a moment. I thought about leaving him alone as he wanted, and going back to bed. But just before I moved to get up, he spoke again.

"Potter took it upon himself this evening to wander into the Pensieve and access my memories."

_Oh no_…Harry would never be forgiven for _that_.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"With Umbridge on the fourth floor, retrieving Montague from the toilet. I had dismissed Potter, but evidently unable to control himself, he ventured into one of my memories."

This was bad. I knew my brother had many memories that he didn't like to share. I had seen glimpses of a few of them during Occlumency lessons, but he had always been quick to cast me out of them.

"You found him inside one?"

He nodded.

"And you're not going to teach him Occlumency anymore?"

"Definitely not."

I stared at him. I thought it was important for Harry to master Occlumency. Snape couldn't just stop lessons because of this. As angry as he was about it (and he had every right to be fuming), it was not right to just call off the lessons. I thought he was taking it a bit far.

I wasn't about to air my opinion that I thought he was wrong though. I was not inclined to push myself into deeper trouble with him.

"What about Mother?" I asked quietly.

He understood what I was talking about at once. "There is more than one way of accessing The Secret Wing," he said. "I can get into Dumbledore's office that way, I suppose."

"Would it be better to bring Mother's ring down here then, seeing as Dumbledore's no longer up there?"

He shook his head. "No, the Headmaster's office provides a high level of protection for a magical object like that. I would prefer to leave it there. We can keep visiting Mother up there as normal."

I nodded, feeling better about that. Actually, I was feeling a lot better about everything. Snape still wasn't in the best mood, and he had every right to be after what Harry did, what I did, and the rest of the day he had had. But I was glad that I had gotten out of bed to talk to him. We hadn't worked things out about the DA, but at least he had admitted that we weren't always going to agree on things. That kind of bothered me at first, as I liked to have Snape pleased with everything I did, but I supposed that just wasn't realistic.

"It's getting late, Armilla," he said, after glancing at the clock on the wall. "You should go back to bed." He stood up and held out a hand to me. "Up."

Taking it, I got up. "So…," I said nervously, watching as he leaned down to pick up his Potions journal. "…we're…alright then?"

He paused with his arm outstretched, looking back at me. "_Alright?_ Of course we're alright," he scoffed, narrowing his eyes as he straightened up, "as long as you put a stop to this occluding business. I will _not_ have it."

I nodded, still feeling nervous. "I will, I promise."

Maybe it was because I was biting my lip again that Snape seemed to guess that I was nervous. He moved forward with a sigh and pulled me into a hug.

"I thought you had broken the habit of biting your lip," he commented.

I smiled. "So did I."

"Well then, I suppose you have a couple of habits to work on breaking."

"I know," I said. "But I'm not the best at keeping control when I'm not occluding."

He was silent for a moment, and neither of us made an effort to let go of the other.

"Nor am I," he said quietly.

I said nothing. I knew that already, but must have taken a lot for Snape to admit to that.

"Back to bed," he said finally, letting go of me. I followed him to the doorway of my bedroom.

As he turned around to face me, I noticed that his face no longer held an expression of indifference. He wasn't showing a great deal of emotion on his face, but I could tell that he was feeling a bit happier than he had been about ten minutes ago.

"Goodnight, Armilla," he said, looking down at me.

"Goodnight, Severus." Instead of turning to go inside my bedroom, I reached up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek.

Instead of waiting to see what his reaction was, I slipped into the darkness of my bedroom and got into bed. A moment later, I heard my brother move down the hallway towards his own bedroom.

Rolling onto my side, I closed my eyes, and heaved a sigh of relief. I could go to sleep now, well assured that my brother was no longer angry with me. And even though he had had an awful day, he could sleep knowing he had the affection of his sister.

o o o o o o o o o o

A/N As usual reviews are always very much appreciated, so please take a minute to share your thoughts - it makes the time I spend on this story really worth it.


	63. Living on the Edge

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 62

It was a good thing that Snape and I were alright again considering that school finished for the Easter holidays on the following Thursday. It would have been dreadful to spend the holidays with a peeved Snape.

We had two weeks off for the holidays, and Snape had managed to get a few days off duty so that we could go to the Merrigan Estate over the Easter weekend. I thought he was lucky to have managed it, considering that Umbridge was now Headmistress. As it turned out, Snape tactfully asked for the Easter weekend off right after turning in a bunch of first year Hufflepuffs for plotting to trip Umbridge.

I was especially thankful that I didn't have to see my father over the holidays. I was still dreading staying with him for an extended period during the summer, not to mention the thought of him bringing Rougier back. Even though Snape had threatened her, I wasn't entirely convinced that Rougier would stay away.

I was really looking forward to going back to the Merrigan Estate, considering that I hadn't seen the place since Boxing Day. Even if Snape wasn't, I was really looking forward to seeing Docky again. At least he wouldn't annoy Snape this time by wearing jingle bells on his big ears, like he had done at Christmas time.

I had dinner with my friends in the Great Hall on Good Friday, and then headed down to the dungeons. Snape had planned for us to leave after dinner.

As I entered the sitting room, Snape looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa, a white piece of parchment in his hand. "Guess what I have here, Armilla."

I closed the door, staring at the parchment.

"Another letter from Father to complain that my letters are boring?"

He rolled his eyes. "No."

"A letter of apology from Harry?"

He sneered. "When I said _guess_, I meant realistically."

"Yeah, I know. I was."

He narrowed his eyes. "Then you give that boy too much credit."

I shrugged, as I sat down next to him. I wasn't about to open the subject of why I believed Snape should still be teaching Harry Occlumency. I knew it wouldn't end well for me.

I continued guessing. "A letter from the Ministry giving you a warrant to Obliviate Father?"

The corners of Snape's mouth twitched. "I assure you, Armilla, that if I was to join you in this world of fantasy, I would be requesting for more than a warrant to cast a _memory_ charm."

I smiled. "I thought you would think I had violent tendencies if I suggested something more sadistic."

"Who me?" he said dryly, raising an eyebrow. His face became more serious as he glanced down at the parchment in his hand. "I have here a letter from one of the Aurors in charge of Morag's poisoning case."

"They solved it?" I asked at once. "They know who it was?"

He inclined his head. "They do."

"Well?" I pressed him.

He looked up from the letter to meet my gaze. "Aren't we still playing the guessing game then? You lost the last round."

I glared at him. "I didn't give up. You just told me."

He smirked. "I gave you three guesses. I knew it was a lost cause."

I sighed. "Fine. Do I get any hints at least?" Snape loved holding things like this over me. It just proved he _did_ like the play games sometimes – as long as _he_ had the upper hand.

He nodded. "This person was in attendance at Father's dinner party back in December."

I stared at him. Father had invited lots of people to that dinner party. I couldn't imagine which of them would want to kill Snape or me off, considering most of them had come because they wanted me to marry into their families.

Perhaps Marcus Flint? He had certainly embarrassed himself that night when he had tried to grab me several times. But on the other hand, I doubted if he even remembered what had happened – he had been so drunk at the time.

Father and my brother had been most displeased about the event, and understandably too, but no one had been angrier than I. I hadn't done anything to get back at Marcus Flint. I had pushed it to the back of my mind. I had had enough to deal with on the following days – Rougier, memorising useless information and then Father's rage when I had insulted Rougier.

But maybe Flint _hadn't_ gotten away with his behaviour after all. Maybe Father had secretly made him pay. I didn't see how this could link to Morag. But then, I could be wrong in thinking the poisoning had something to do with Marcus Flint. I decided to venture a guess though.

"Could it have something to do with what happened with Marcus Flint?"

Snape didn't answer at first. He was looking calculatingly at me, his finger tracing the edge of his mouth.

"You're not saying that it _was_ Marcus Flint?" he said finally.

I shook my head. "No. I'm just suggesting that the poisoning could be linked back to that event. I think Marcus is too obvious a choice."

"He wasn't the brightest Slytherin I taught," he admitted, still watching me closely.

I shook my head slightly. "No, but he was so drunk that night. I don't think he would remember what happened anyway. Unless…" I stopped, deep in thought. Someone might have reminded him of what he had done. What if Father _had_ paid him a visit? Father had been out all the following day. He had supposedly been visiting friends that day. What if one of those visits had been to the Flint's house?

"Unless what?" my brother pressed, clearly interested in having me work this out for myself.

"Unless Marcus Flint was reminded of what he had done…maybe Father paid him a visit."

"Go on." Snape leaned back and folded his arms, the now folded parchment lying on his lap. I didn't know if I was even on the right path. Maybe Snape was merely enjoying my wild tale.

"Father might have attacked him," I said slowly. "He was pretty angry that night-"

Snape let out a hollow laugh. "His anger would have been nothing to_ mine_, I assure you."

"- and he might have let it out on Flint the next day." I shook my head again. "I just don't think Flint was responsible for the poisoning though."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

I was silent. The truth was, I didn't know why I thought that. I just didn't think he had done it. In the end I just shrugged. "Instinct, I suppose."

He nodded. "Well your instinct would be correct. It was not Marcus Flint."

I looked curiously as him. "Then why did you let me delve so far on the wrong path?"

He looked smugly at me. "Did I say that you were on the _wrong_ path?"

"I…no," I mumbled. "So if it wasn't Flint, then…" I looked up at my brother suddenly. "His father?"

Snape sneered. "You're assuming the culprit is a _he_?"

The image of a stout little witch with pursed lips suddenly entered my mind. "Mrs Flint…" I said quietly, more to myself than to Snape.

"…is the guilty one," he finished for me.

_Mrs Flint?_ Mrs Flint! I had never even considered the possibility of it being the boy's mother. I had scarcely spoken to the woman on the night, and had quite forgotten that she even existed.

I sighed. "Can't you just tell me now?" I had had enough of guessing.

Snape gave a tiny smile. "Oh, very well. It's a bit of a dramatic tale really, and quite a complicated one at that."

"Well, no wonder I couldn't guess it," I mumbled.

He ignored me. "You were correct in your guess that Father visited the Flint house the very next day. Conveniently for him, only Marcus was home. Father hexed him to such an extent that had his Mother not arrived in time, he would certainly have had to be hospitalised." He paused, looking thoughtful. "Actually, I am quite at a loss as to why Father performed such hexes. I would have thought that he would have arranged Marcus to be hexed, but not at _his_ hand. He would have disguised it."

"It's too out of character for him," I agreed.

Snape nodded. "But the workings of Father's mind is quite another subject to explore. For now, I shall continue with the other tale." He paused again, obviously thinking about what part to reveal next.

"Eloise Flint healed her son's injuries reasonably well, but I have it on authority here that Flint's scars are still there. Eloise managed to have Marcus reveal who had inflicted the injuries, and she was furious with Father. It seems that Eloise was eager to have Marcus eventually join the Dark Lord's inner circle. In her mind, the behaviour of her son towards you would have turned everyone against her family. She became convinced that we were all working to discredit her family, and that all the Death Eaters were telling tales of her son to prevent him from being given the opportunity to take the Mark."

"Were you?" I asked quietly.

"No," he said at once. "But going into the reasons for that would divert me from the tale at hand."

I nodded. I would have to remember to ask him later.

"It has since been proved that Eloise was not of sound mind," he went on. "She truly believed that every Death Eater in the Dark Lord's service had heard of her son's behaviour and she made it her mission to be rid of the lot of them so that her son would be able to join the inner circle."

I stared at him incredulously. "Well, that's pointless. He probably would have been one of the only ones in the inner circle if most of the others were dead."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I did say she was not of sound mind. Obviously that fact never occurred to her. It was her plan to have that poison spread throughout Hogwarts, and in particular, to Slytherin House. If the Slytherins became seriously ill, their parents would be called, and then they would become ill too, seeing as the poison was contagious." He looked furious for a moment. "She could have killed off the entire student and staff population with that poison."

"Not all the Death Eaters have children though," I said thoughtfully. "How was she going to kill them off?"

"I'm not sure I want to spend time thinking about it," he responded, still looking irritated at the thought of a such a poison being in the hands of a person like Mrs Flint.

"How long hasn't she been of sound mind?" I asked. The woman had seemed alright at the dinner party.

"Awhile," he answered. "It isn't always obvious at first. It started when Dalias Flint, her husband, found out that she had been having an affair."

I stared at him, too shocked to say anything.

He looked slightly amused. "Didn't I say that it was a dramatic tale?"

I smiled.

"Dalias found out that she was having an affair, though she managed to conceal with _whom_. He began cursing her to such an extent that she began to lose her mind. To walk out on Dalias would have meant disgrace for the Flint family."

"But Mother left Father," I pointed out.

"And I assure you the gossip on that lasted for years before Father began rebuilding his status again," he said grimly.

"Oh."

"Eloise appeared fine when she appeared with her husband in public," he went on, his dark eyes glittering, "but really, her condition was becoming worse. Dalias had become increasingly violent when she would not reveal with whom she had been having the affair. She became paranoid that others knew and were talking about it. I believe the last straw came when Father hexed Marcus. Her paranoia became more than she could handle."

"So how did she find someone capable of making that poison?"

"She was having an affair with _Leopold Gillies_," he said shortly, giving me a significant look as if that name should mean something to me.

It was certainly a familiar name. I knew I hadn't met him, but I had seen his name somewhere…on something I owned…

"Leopold Gillies," I said slowly, somehow hoping that saying the name aloud would help me. By a stroke of luck it did. "He's the author of that Potions book you bought for me back in January!"

An affair with a renowned Potions Master…and Snape had said that he could count on one hand the number of people capable of making that poison.

Snape nodded curtly. "At least I know you paid some attention to that book."

"I _did_ read it," I said.

"I believe you," he said indifferently. "But my esteem of Gillies has gone down considerably. I had been considering using his book as the text for next year. Even if he is a brilliant Potions Master, his link to Morag's poisoning has turned me right off."

"So Mrs Flint got him to make the poison," I said softly, thinking about Morag.

"Actually, she put him under the Imperius Curse." He looked indifferent. "As a result, he has not been charged."

Something was still plaguing me. "But why did she target _us_? Was it just because of Father hexing Marcus?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "I have no doubt that Father's hexing Marcus contributed to her motives, but I also think that Eloise and Dalias were very keen for you to marry Marcus. It would have brought them very strong connections. After Marcus's behaviour there was no chance of such a thing happening, and I suppose Eloise especially was bitter about it. If her son couldn't have you, then she wanted no one to have you. In her view, to kill you would have been revenge on the rest of them."

"But the others might have died too," I pointed out, suppressing a shudder. "The act for revenge would have been pointless."

He nodded in agreement. "Well, the woman's mind has been playing tricks on her. I don't suppose we are meant to comprehend her actions."

"How did she manage to have it put into the _Morgan's_ food then?" This was all so hard to believe.

"She paid a visit to Snape Manor a few days after your departure, on the pretence of apologising for her son's behaviour. Father was out visiting as usual, but Eloise managed to obtain vital information from that damn house elf." Snape glared at the air in front of him.

I looked at him warily. "Jiffy? What kind of information?"

He sighed. "It turns out that at the dinner party, Rougier and Narcissa Malfoy were talking about students having pets at Hogwarts. Eloise Flint was also there, listening. Having seen your owl, Rougier mentioned that you had an owl that you kept in your bedroom. Eloise remembered that."

I let out a groan. "You told me Jiffy was a snooper."

He nodded. "Eloise probably made up some tale of seeking advice on the best owl food, and asked Jiffy what kind you used." He scowled. "Jiffy _had_ snooped through your things and was able to tell Eloise that you used _Morgan's_ food."

This was just unbelievable. Snape had certainly been right when he had said it was a complicated and dramatic tale.

"So how did she get _Morgan's_ to put the poison on _your_ order?"

I noticed that Snape kept flexing his fingers and then curling them into fists. I was sure he didn't feel as calm as he looked.

"The Imperius Curse again," he said simply. "She may not have been of sound mind, but her magical strength was all there."

My head was buzzing. It was just so much to take in. A mad woman, hexed by her husband for having an affair, had used the Imperius Curse on the man she had secretly been seeing to concoct a poison, and had then used the Imperius Curse on a _Morgan's_ employee to tamper with Snape's next order.

We were both silent for several moments, each of us trying to get our head around what had happened. It seemed so complicated. It was amazing how small and seemingly insignificant events could trigger such outrageous ones.

"If Marcus had never come at me in that hallway," I whispered, "…had I not walked to the bathroom with Tonks…this would have never happened."

Snape looked sharply at me. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself for this, Armilla. Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not," I said distractedly. "It just seems so… unreal, I suppose. It's just so vicious."

I had rarely seen the expression on Snape's face, but he looked troubled. "Armilla-" he began, sweeping his lank black hair from his face. He sighed. "You mix with Death Eaters and their families now," he said softly. "I would do anything to have it any other way, but current circumstances do not permit it."

I stared up at him. "Do you mean things like this happen often then?"

He considered this for a moment, still looking troubled. "Not all the time. But Death Eaters have been known to become jealous of each other, and secret duels and various other dangerous happenings have occurred over the years in which the Dark Lord was rising in power. Families become involved. Poisoning Morag was just another example."

It was very unsettling. I had comprehended awhile ago that life would be dramatically different as a Snape.

"You were right," I said suddenly. "You guessed that it might have had something to do with someone wanting to take a place in the Dark Lord's circle, only it was Marcus Flint's mother acting on his behalf."

He nodded. "I have seen things like it happen before."

"So where is Mrs Flint now? Was she arrested?"

His face grew very serious. "This is where absolute discretion is required. Eloise Flint's case had to be handled very quietly. Had this event been made public, then obviously there would have been a great uproar about a poison like that finding its way into the school. Eloise Flint would have been arrested, as would her husband for causing her to go mad. There is every chance that Father could have been arrested for attacking Marcus, and as much as we would both like him to disappear, having Father in jail would not help us in the long run."

"The Dark Lord?" I asked quietly.

He nodded, his face grave. "To the Dark Lord, this event would seem petty at the very least. To have his faithful followers cause such trouble over an affair and who has the right to marry _you_ would not have reflected well on our family."

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"It is one of the few things Father and I see eye to eye on," he continued. "We want you to remain out of the Dark Lord's focus as much as possible. I have no doubt that this event would have cast a light on you, and the Dark Lord would have been angry that time was wasted on petty poisoning cases and jealousy. In cases like this before, he just-"

"Disposed of the person in the midst of the trouble?" I offered, "as long as that person was of no use to him?"

He nodded very slightly, his black eyes fixed on mine.

I stared down at my hands. Snape had mentioned just minutes ago that the other Death Eaters hadn't told the Dark Lord about Flint going for me in the corridor. He hadn't told me the reasons why. But I was starting to guess.

Coleman had come to test my abilities when I was at Father's house. He had wanted to ascertain my potential as a Death Eater, and I had followed Father's orders to prove myself unworthy. Snape had never told me the outcome of that event. But if I _had_ been deemed unworthy, then the Dark Lord would think nothing of killing me for distracting his other followers. If Snape, Father and any Death Eaters wanting me to marry their sons had shared the tale of Flint's drunken behaviour, an unnecessary and dangerous light would have been cast upon me. It seemed I was in a bad position either way.

"You won't tell me, will you?" I said quietly, looking over at my brother.

I knew he understood what I meant. He met my gaze, and for once, his dark eyes didn't seem like endless tunnels to me. On the contrary, they seemed full of the warmth I knew he possessed.

"It hasn't been entirely clear," he said quietly. "All I can tell you is that the Dark Lord is focusing on something else at the moment. Something he wants more than anything else. He was satisfied with Coleman's report that your skills were only average, but that could always change. Father and I would prefer to keep you out of his mind as much as possible."

As nervous as I felt discussing the Dark Lord's knowledge of me, I pressed the subject. Who knew when Snape would offer such information again? "Was he interested to find out about our relationship?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "He was interested, certainly, but he was not as enthusiastic as the Death Eaters were, and for that I am grateful. Other than an initial display of interest in the situation, he is now no more interested in you than in the other children of Death Eaters, which is not very much, I assure you. Unless you possess a wish to join his ranks, he is not interested. He will not waste his time on half-hearted recruits."

I nodded, feeling slightly better.

He sighed again, looking tired. "I do not like speaking of the Dark Lord to you, Armilla. I do not wish to cause you such anxiety."

"No," I said at once. "I'm glad you did tell me. I actually feel better about it now. Before I was just imagining what must have gone on after I saw Coleman."

He shook his head. "I couldn't tell you much then. And I can't promise you that the situation will not change, Armilla. Once the Dark Lord sets his sights on something he stops at_ nothing_ to achieve victory."

I nodded. Clearly, I had joined Snape in a life of living on the edge.

"So, getting back to the outcome of Morag's poisoning," he continued, "Eloise Flint was admitted to the closed ward of St Mungo's for the time being. She, Dalias Flint, Marcus Flint and Leopold Gillies all have no recollection of the affair, Father's attack, and in Eloise and Gillies' case, the poison. Information was obtained from all of them through Veritaserum, and it was clear early on that no one else knew of the affair or the poison, making it convenient to Obliviate them."

"But won't Dalias Flint be wondering what happened to make his wife mad? I mean, hexing his wife would have been erased from his mind."

"That's all been considered," he answered, staring down at the folded parchment on his lap. "I imagine the Aurors concocted an imaginative tale of some magic gone wrong that ended with Eloise in a state of unsound mind."

"So no more is to be said then?"

He nodded. "It would seem so. It was more convenient to Obliviate Eloise Flint's mind and hospitalise her rather than send her to Azkaban."

I understood. As much as I despised the woman now, I could see that what was done was for the best.

"Well, then," said Snape suddenly, pocketing the parchment, "I do not wish to dwell on the subject any further. It'll just bring on a headache." He stood up and gestured for me to do the same. "Let's spend no more time here. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," I said, as I stood up. "I've just got to get Morag." I hadn't sent Morag out on any flights since she had been poisoned. I knew it wasn't fair to Morag, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to send her when I had ordered Easter eggs from Honeydukes. I had gone up to the owlery with my friends and used a school owl.

He nodded. "Be ready to go in five minutes. It's getting late and Docky will start bouncing off the walls in anxiety if we leave it much later."

Hearing Docky's name immediately made me think of our family's other house elf. "I hope Jiffy meets a sticky end soon," I said bitterly, as I made my way towards my bedroom. "I'd like to leave a trap for him in my stuff in case he chooses to go snooping again."

"I wouldn't advise it," Snape responded from behind me, making his way towards his own room to get ready. "If you kill the family house elf, Father might start treating _you_ like his house elf instead."

The thought of that irked me. I would have laughed, but we both knew there was a bit of truth to that dry remark.

o o o o o o o o o

It wasn't the most pleasant of journeys; after Apparating to the small clearing in the forest near the Estate, we walked in the heavy rain until we had reached the winding narrow road where the carriage was waiting with the Thestral. The fog was so thick that the Thestral was forced to move slowly in the darkness. Even though Snape had used magic to dry our clothes and warm the inside of the carriage, by the time we reached the house, both of us were shivering, tired and in slightly irritable moods. Morag, however, had uncharacteristically slept through everything.

"Master Severus! Miss Armilla!" a voice screeched, as Snape and I entered the main hall in the Merrigan Estate.

Snape closed his eyes tightly, as if wishing to be granted the gift of patience. It seemed even the sound of his house elf's voice was an annoyance to him.

"Hello Docky," I said, as the elf skidded to a halt on the polished floor in front of me. He looked a most peculiar sight. Instead of the jingle bells he had been wearing on his ears at Christmas time, he was wearing fluffy pink and white rabbit ears on his head. I didn't think Snape had spotted them when he had closed his eyes upon hearing Docky's voice.

"Miss Armilla!" Docky exclaimed. "Docky wishes you a very happy Easter! Docky is thrilled to be seeing Miss Armilla, yes he is! Docky has made you supper, yes he has!"

His eyes, still closed, Snape reached his free hand up to rub his left temple. Morag, in her cage, which was being held by Snape's other hand, opened one eye and was staring at Docky wearily.

"Docky," I said quietly. "Maybe you should take that thing off before Severus opens his eyes."

At that, Snape's eyes shot open and he peered down at Docky. His expression quickly became one of distaste as he surveyed the offending Easter Bunny ears.

"Docky," he said in a voice of forced calm and patience.

Docky beamed up at him. "Yes, Master Severus?"

"I provide you with excellent conditions and food here, do I not?"

Docky bowed so low that his long nose scraped the floor. "Yes, Master Severus. I'm better off than any other house elf in the world!"

Snape sneered. "Then kindly repay me by removing those ridiculous ears. Would you prefer to be a rabbit? That could be easily arranged."

Docky gave a high squeak and the ears vanished from his head.

Snape nodded curtly. "Thankyou. You said you prepared supper?"

Docky beamed again. "Yes, Master Severus! Docky made hot-cross buns!"

That sounded good. I loved everything about Docky. Even his poor bunny ears.

Snape nodded again. "Is everything still in the kitchen?"

"Yes, Master Severus."

"Very well. You are dismissed for the night."

Docky bowed again. "Goodnight, Master Severus. Goodnight, Miss Armilla."

"Goodnight, Docky," I replied, smiling down at him.

He beamed and scampered away towards the stairs that led down to the kitchen. Docky's small bedroom was attached to the kitchen.

Snape let out a deep sigh. "I swear he's getting worse," he muttered.

I smiled up at him. "Did he have the bunny ears last year too?"

He grimaced. "I didn't spend Easter here last year, but on the last Easter I was here, he had a fluffy tail."

I tried not to smile, but didn't succeed. Seeing Docky with a fluffy tail would have been very funny.

Snape's lip curled. "It wasn't funny in the least. He looked ridiculous. Come, we'll leave Morag upstairs and then we'll go down to the kitchen."

We went up the grand staircase, and with each step I felt happier and happier. I was _home_. I was even happier when we entered my bedroom. It was exactly as I had left it. It was large, like my room at Snape Manor, but this room meant so much more to me, especially because it had been my mother's room.

Snape deposited Morag's cage on the table in the centre of the room. As I watched him pull my shrunken bag out of his pocket and use magic to bring it back to its proper size, a strange thought hit me.

"I used magic the last time I was here," I said. "Why didn't the ministry detect underage magic?"

"They would have if you had been staying here alone," he answered. "You can use magic at a teacher's residence as long as the teacher is within a certain distance. The Ministry recognises that a teacher can continue education with children outside Hogwarts because teachers are qualified to deal with any mishaps."

Oh. Well _that _was handy.

As I took off my cloak, my eyes settled on the piano in the corner of the room. It didn't feel painful to look at it. I had conquered my fears of Shar by sitting down to play for Snape on Christmas Day. I didn't feel overly happy at seeing it either. I supposed that was just because I hadn't played in so long. Sometimes when you spent too long away from something you weren't as inclined to take it up again.

Snape followed my gaze.

"Are you going to play it while we're here?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"I think it would be wise if you _did_," he said, giving me a meaningful look. He was determined for me to play confidently again and overcome any remaining visions of Shar in the process.

I followed him out of the room. "I think we should visit the cemetery again too," he added, as he turned right and headed towards his bedroom so he could take off his own cloak.

I never liked going to the cemetery. "Do we have to?" I asked, as he opened the door.

He turned around in the doorway and stared down at me.

"It's not that I haven't accepted Merle's death," I said hastily, hoping to stop him from thinking along those lines again. "I just don't like it there."

He nodded. "Suit yourself then, but I will expect you to go again next holidays."

"Alright," I said hesitantly, as he walked into the room.

Having never set foot in either of Snape's bedrooms at Hogwarts or at the Merrigan Estate, I didn't follow him into the room. This was his domain. I lingered awkwardly in the doorway as he took off his cloak and deposited a few other things he had brought with him.

The colour scheme of his bedroom rather surprised me. I had expected his bedroom to have the same Slytherin feel of our sitting room at Hogwarts. But there was no green at all in this room. Instead, the bedspread was midnight blue with silver edges, and the walls were the same light blue as the walls in my room. The ornate fire place was very much like mine, and like me, he had a sofa and two armchairs, but whereas mine were white, his were the dark blue of his bed. He didn't have a table and chairs like in my room, but then, he had a study downstairs.

I got over my surprise very quickly. I reasoned that this was probably the room Snape had used as a child when he had come with Mother, therefore Mother had probably decorated it, not knowing that her son would be a Slytherin. If that was the case, then it was endearing that Snape had not changed the colours in his bedroom.

He said nothing about me lingering in the doorway, but he didn't stay in the room long anyway. I followed him back downstairs and then down the stairs that led to the kitchen.

The kitchen was a huge room in the basement, with a long marble bench with stools placed here and there. There was also a wooden table with a couple of chairs around it, which I supposed Docky used more than anyone else. Placed upon it were two steaming mugs and a plate of hot-cross buns.

We sat down and helped ourselves, quickly devouring what Docky had left us. We didn't talk much as we ate, and I thought that was because both of us were preoccupied with the Auror's report on Morag's poisoning. It would take awhile to let that sink in.

We were just finishing the last of our meal when a high pitched "Whoopsies!" came from Docky's room.

I nearly jumped a mile, but for Snape's part, it was as if he had heard nothing at all.

"Whoopsies?" I repeated, looking questioningly at my brother.

He rolled his eyes and put down his cup. "Learn to ignore it," he said simply. "The elf talks in his sleep."

o o o o o o o o o

On Saturday evening before dinner, Snape and I were to be found in the long narrow sitting room in which we had practised duelling the year before.

We had been duelling non-stop for half an hour, and I had only fallen down once. Now that I had gotten the hang of maintaining my shield whilst casting a hex, I was focusing on putting more strength into my hexes. The strongest hex I had delivered so far had caused my shield to break down and I had fallen backwards onto the cushions I had conjured.

"You've certainly made an improvement," Snape commented, after he'd finally lowered his wand.

"I'm just worried that I'll lose my nerve if I ever do get into a situation where I'll have to use the shield," I said, also lowering my wand. "At the moment I can concentrate easily knowing that I'm not really in danger."

"You won't lose your nerve," he said, very matter-of-factly.

"How do you know?" His confidence in me kind of put me off.

He raised an eyebrow. "You doubt me?"

"I feel put off that you have such confidence in me," I answered. "You might be disappointed."

"I do not feel a need to explain myself," he said evenly. "If a situation ever arises where you will need to use the shield, you will not lose your nerve."

I shook my head. He had way too much confidence in me. I mean, I had fallen over from a failed shield not five minutes ago! Unless… he was employing cunning means by which to have me succeed. Very Slytherin.

"Reverse psychology," I said, looking innocently at him. "I'll succeed because I know I can't fail?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Slytherin."

I smiled. "Well, it _is_ very Slytherin."

He smirked. "No, I was calling _you_ a Slytherin."

I looked crossly at him. "Oh."

He smiled back at me as I followed him out of the room and down the hall. "You're part Slytherin whether you like it or not."

As we entered the entrance hall, I head scurrying footsteps and a loud sneeze coming from the direction of the kitchen stairs. We turned to see Docky bounding towards us, a crumpled handkerchief in one hand and a carrot in the other.

"Master _Achoo_!" Docky blew his nose hard into his handkerchief. Snape's lip curled at the sight.

"Master Severus!" Docky began again, his voice more nasal than usual. "Docky has a dilemma. Master Severus likes broccoli and Miss Armilla likes cauliflower. Which is Docky to cook tonight?"

Ah, telling Docky what I liked that morning was paying off. I would have to give him a list of my favourite desserts. But not now; it sounded like he had a cold.

Snape looked far from pleased. "If you are trying to decide between broccoli and cauliflower, Docky, why is it that you are holding a carrot?"

Docky looked down at the carrot in his little hand. "Docky is about to dispose of this carrot, Master Severus."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Docky sneezed on it, sir."

Snape closed his eyes in annoyance.

"At least he's demonstrating good hygiene," I pointed out. Docky beamed at me.

Snape opened his eyes and threw me a withering glare, which softened the tiniest bit when I smiled at him.

"Docky," he said, turning back to the elf in front of us. "Have you started preparing dinner yet?"

Docky sneezed twice before answering. "Docky has gotten out the chicken, Master Severus, but he has not cooked it yet."

Snape nodded curtly. "Well then, that will be all for tonight."

Docky frowned. "Miss Hazel wouldn't have approved of you eating raw chicken, sir."

"I know that!" Snape snapped, taking out his wand. "But I would prefer to not have my dinner infested with the germs from your cold." He waved his wand, muttering several incantations under his breath. I heard several locks click back from his private potions lab and a moment later a small bottle was zooming through the air towards us. Snape caught it deftly and started to walk towards the kitchen. "Come."

Docky and I looked at each other before following Snape down the stairs and into the kitchen. We watched as Snape poured some of the contents of the bottle into a small glass and then diluted it with some milk. He held the glass out to Docky. "Drink this. It will help the cold."

Docky took the glass and downed the potion, gulping loudly.

"Why does he get to have milk in it?" I asked. Potions were rarely nice to drink, but milk would have made a big difference.

"Elves require different strengths in potions to witches and wizards," Snape replied, sealing the bottle. "Some things they require to be weaker and some things need to be stronger. If I had given him this potion straight then his ears would have been smoking for a week." He turned to Docky and held his hand out for the glass, which was promptly returned.

"Thankyou, Master Severus, sir."

Snape nodded curtly. "Go to bed, Docky."

"Docky must cook dinner, sir."

Snape shook his head. "I believe I already made it clear that you are not preparing dinner tonight. We will take care of it."

I looked curiously at him. "Can you cook?"

He looked affronted. "Of course I can cook! I _am_ a Potions Master. Cooking is a much simpler skill, but I believe I can manage it."

"Master Severus is a good cook, Miss Armilla," Docky squeaked. "He used to cook with Miss Hazel. Once he made a trifle so high that it fell on my head and-"

"Docky!" Snape interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I believe I just told you to go to bed."

"Yes, Master Severus!" the elf responded cheerfully. He turned and bounced away towards his bedroom. It was hard to tell that he was suffering from a cold.

"Are you going to make _me_ a trifle?" I asked hopefully. I loved trifle.

"_No_," he said smoothly, accioing a few potatoes towards him. He glanced over at the closed door of the room Docky had just gone into. "The truth is," he murmured, "I only made that trifle in the first place so that it _would_ topple over onto Docky's head."

"That's awful!" I exclaimed, horrified. "How old were you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Nine or ten, I suppose. One of the rare occasions I came with Mother here."

I shook my head. "What did Docky do to warrant that?"

"He told me that I looked like my father," he answered, looking grim. "It might be the truth, but I didn't appreciate it one bit at the time."

I didn't laugh. I understood. Snape _did_ look a little bit like Father, but it was no help to tell him so.

"What are you making?" I asked, sitting down on a stool on the other side of the bench.

"What are _we_ making, you mean?' he said, looking up from the potatoes, which were now being peeled in mid air with a magic-enhanced peeler.

'You're probably far better at cooking than me," I pointed out. I had gotten over my surprise that Snape could cook. But if his cooking skills were anything like his Potions skills, then I would be no match for him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Praise indeed." He gestured to the raw chicken fillets that Docky had gotten out. "You can marinate and cook the chicken."

Nodding, I got up to get the things I needed.

"Didn't Merle teach you how to cook?" Snape asked, directing another peeler to peel a zucchini.

I nodded. "She taught me how to do a few things-" I was silent for a moment, thinking about Merle's kitchen. The last time I had been in it, Shar had come at me with a knife. I shook my head, pushing Shar's face from my mind. _No_. I had moved past that now.

"Armilla?" I looked up to see Snape looking curiously at me. "What are you thinking about?"

I decided to be honest. He wouldn't appreciate me saying "nothing important", like I was tempted to. "The last time I was in Merle's kitchen," I admitted. "Shar was there."

Snape face held a hint of concern. "Armilla, you're not-"

"I haven't been thinking about him," I said hastily. "I haven't thought about him in a long time…Honestly," I added, when he continued to stare at me.

He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. "Very well, but you know I want you to tell me if he starts plaguing your mind again."

I nodded. "I know."

I watched as he made a few eggs crack themselves into a bowl, and then directed a beater to mix them. "That _was_ an eventful day," he went on.

I grunted as I reached for the chicken. "One I'd rather forget."

"I have no doubt," he replied. "I was certainly surprised to see you suddenly appear like that in the Headmaster's office."

I looked up at him thoughtfully. "Lucky you were there, really."

"Needless to say, you weren't in a good way," he said quietly. "It would have been much more serious if you had been alone."

I smiled. "I bet you thought it was just your luck that_ you_ had to be the one to deal with it."

He gave a small smile. "I won't deny it. Nor will I admit how many times I cursed."

I laughed. "I don't remember anything anyway."

He scoffed. "You were blissfully unconscious."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't say _blissfully_."

He smirked. "_I_ would. Now, you were saying that Merle did teach you to cook a few things?"

I nodded. "I taught myself mostly in the end. She was too sick to cook." I smiled as I looked up at him. "Actually, I'm not sure if my cooking would have made her feel much better."

"I'm sure she appreciated it just the same," Snape said softly, casting me a knowing glance as he directed a knife to begin cutting the potatoes.

I took out my own wand and used magic to prepare the chicken. "I suppose so."

Half an hour later we sat down at the kitchen table to eat. Generally we ate in the breakfast room upstairs, but we didn't bother this time, seeing as we were already in the kitchen.

"There's nothing wrong with your cooking," Snape commented, after sampling my chicken. "It's good. I'm sure you'll agree after you've finished the cauliflower."

I nodded. As usual, I had gone straight for the cauliflower. Lisa and Terry had never understood my fetish for cauliflower, but at least Snape had cooked it for me.

"Do you think I'll have to do the same thing everyday again at Father's house?" I asked, stabbing a bit of chicken. "Memorise books again, I mean."

Snape looked thoughtful. "I suppose there will be more books for you to read, so more to memorise." His face darkened. "Actually, I think Father might also use the time to have you become better acquainted with the potential young men who were at the dinner party."

I groaned. "That's a lot of Draco Malfoy."

"Indeed it is," he replied, sneering down at his plate. "Lucius has been dropping endless hints to both Father and I to have Draco spend more time with you." He looked up from his plate to meet my gaze. "Needless to say that he's been getting further with Father than with me."

I frowned. "But won't that put you on bad terms with him?"

He shook his head. "Not at all, I assure you. We may disagree on some things, but in all other circumstances I play my part well."

We were both silent for a moment. I thought it must be a strange thing to maintain a false friendship with Lucius Malfoy. I bet Lucius thought that he and Snape were great pals.

"I don't believe you'll be seeing Rougier though," Snape said, moving the subject away from Lucius Malfoy.

"Father might have employed someone even worse," I pointed out.

He smirked. "And you think _I'm _a cynic. What if it was someone like Mary Donahey?"

I smiled. I had loved Mary Donahey in the end. Tonks had played her role as the professional dance instructor well. "That would be good," I admitted. "But I wouldn't want Tonks to do it. It would be too dangerous."

Snape said nothing, choosing instead to drink his wine.

"If I'm there for a lot longer," I continued, "chances are that Father _will_ get another governess."

He nodded. "I agree…we'll have to do something about that." He sneered. "There is no way I will tolerate another Zita Rougier having that kind of power over you."

I certainly had no problem with that. I still felt an urge to tear something to shreds every time I thought of that woman.

"I'm not sure I'll last a month or so with him," I said quietly. "I barely made the week last time."

Snape shook his head. "You'll be fine. You did well the last time. You just need to make sure you don't let yourself be provoked." He gave me a stern look. "That means _no_ comments about _painted old hags_, Armilla, no matter how sorely you are tempted."

I didn't answer. An image of Rougier powdered face suddenly flashed in my mind. Painted old hag…

"You'll certainly need to maintain some strength with Father," Snape went on, still looking stern. "I believe he is getting worse. His actions are becoming more unpredictable." He shook his head. "He is becoming increasingly frustrated with himself and he may not hesitate to take it out on you."

"What's making him worse?" I asked, feeling quite worried now.

"Remember that conversation we had with Mother about Father's decreasing amount of magical energy?"

I nodded. Snape had explained that even though Father was younger than Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, his style of delivering magic was not as polished as theirs, as he had not taken the trouble over the years to understand his own magic and refine it. He had invented his own range of hexes, and his force was strong and had the desired effects, but because he had been careless about his control of magic in his earlier days, he was more likely to tire easily or be slower when casting magic now.

"It has become apparent to the Dark Lord that Father's abilities aren't what they were years ago," Snape continued. "As a result, Father is being given less and less responsibility."

I understood that perfectly well. That would be infuriating Father. "I hope I don't feel the brunt of _that_."

Snape nodded. "That's why you'll have to be extremely careful. You are not to step out of line at any moment."

I nodded. I hadn't been looking forward to going to Father's house the last time, but if it was possible, I was dreading the next visit even more.


	64. Easter

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 63

I awoke on Easter Sunday in high spirits. After speaking with Snape two nights before about my upcoming visit to Father's house, I had become determined to keep the thought of it at the back of my mind so I could enjoy the Easter weekend with my brother. My mind reasoned (in a very Dumbledore-ish way) that if I worried about the future, I might miss out on enjoying the present.

I had spent the day before brewing potions all day with my brother. Umbridge had let him have the weekend away on the condition that he would still have the hospital wing potion cabinet replenished by Tuesday, as promised. I didn't mind in the least, and Snape kept me at it all day, claiming that it was "good practice" for my OWLs.

Pushing my bedcovers back, I crawled along to the foot of my bed and peered over onto the floor. There were four coloured boxes of various sizes arranged neatly. Smiling, I gathered them up and got back into bed to open them.

I opened Snape's box first. I laughed as I pulled out a small chocolate cauldron. It was filled with a whole range of chocolates which (according to the instructions on the packaging) could only be accessed by pulling a small lever at the side and catching whatever chocolate flew out.

Matilda had sent a cylindrical pink box filled with strawberry cream chocolates. The box changed shape according to how many chocolates were in there. Lisa had sent a small chocolate bunny holding a bag that would keep refilling itself with tiny chocolate carrots until it reached the product's total amount of twenty-five chocolates.

Snape walked into the room just as I was reaching for the box from Terry. He was carrying two large chocolate eggs, and wore a sceptical expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, staring at the eggs in his hands. One of them I recognised as the dark chocolate egg I had ordered for him. It would keep resealing itself to a perfect egg up to twenty times. The other egg he was holding looked very similar in size, except that instead of having gold wrapping, it had a transparent wrapping and was wrapped with a dark green bow.

"This," he said simply, holding up the egg with the bow. A slight rattling came from within it as he did so. "It's dark chocolate," he went on, as he sat down on the bed.

"I thought you liked dark chocolate."

"I do." He gave me a significant look. "This is from _Dumbledore_ though."

"Oh." Now I could see why he seemed bewildered by it. Dumbledore only ever gave him milk chocolate stars. I laughed suddenly. "Well don't lose hope. That rattling sound is promising."

He scowled down at the egg, which was a very amusing sight. He took the packaging off and made a small crack in the top of the egg with his wand. Pulling off a piece, he turned the egg upside down and allowed its contents to fall into his hand. Sure enough, about a dozen tiny milk chocolate stars came tumbling out along with a small piece of parchment.

Shaking his head, Snape tipped all the stars back inside the egg, and then unfolded the bit of parchment.

"_I never disappoint_," he read. "_Albus. PS. I know you like them_."

I laughed.

Snape sneered as he folded the parchment and put it back into the egg. "He is sadly mistaken." He looked over at the chocolates sitting on my bed. "You've done well. Thankyou for the chocolate by the way; I prefer chocolate without hidden surprises."

I nodded. "Thanks for the cauldron. I didn't know you could get things like that."

He gave me a tiny smile. "Ah well, Potions journals sometimes advertise more than potions."

He watched as I opened the box from Terry. I pulled out a plain chocolate egg that seemed to vibrate in my hands. Before long, it was shaking violently and I put it down in front of me. Snape also leaned in to watch it, a frown on his face.

A large crack appeared, which was followed by a few more, and a couple of seconds later, a tiny chocolate chick hatched.

"That's disgusting," I muttered, having second thoughts about eating an egg that seemed to grow chocolate chicks.

We continued to watch the chick, which was now walking around on top of the box the egg had come in. It started to grow, and within thirty seconds it had matured into a hen about the size of my hand. It hopped off the box and walked around in a circle a couple of times before settling in my lap. Giving a great shudder, it suddenly moved away again, leaving behind a fresh chocolate egg.

"It just laid an egg on me," I stated in disbelief.

"That's disgusting," Snape said, looking revolted.

A couple of minutes later there were plenty of chocolate hens walking around the room, for each egg laid hatched in no time. In the end, Snape vanished the lot of them, and I was every bit as thankful as he was. I didn't fancy eating moving hens or hatching eggs, even if they were chocolate.

"Mr Boot is responsible for this, I presume?" Snape asked, frowning as he pocketed his wand.

I nodded.

He nodded curtly. "Remind me to give him detention when we get back to Hogwarts."

"Happy Easter!" came a shrill voice. I looked up to see Docky bounce into the room. Snape didn't turn around at all. He merely grimaced at the sound of his house elf.

Docky skidded to a halt next to the bed and gave a low bow. "Docky wishes Master Severus and Miss Armilla a very joyous Easter and wishes them great health and prosperity at this festive time in which-"

"Docky," Snape said quietly, through gritted teeth. He had closed his eyes in annoyance and was pinching the bridge of his nose. "When one wishes another a Happy Easter, they don't need to elaborate."

Docky straightened up, still beaming. "Yes Master Severus, sir." He turned to face me, his eyes shining. "Docky took the liberty of making an Easter egg hunt for you, Miss Armilla."

Snape opened his eyes. "What?"

Docky gave him a broad grin. "An Easter egg hunt, Master Severus."

Snape glared at him. "If that is what you're doing with your time, Docky, then I need to add more to your 'To Do' list."

Docky's ears drooped slightly. "Docky was only making Miss Armilla's day more exciting, Master Severus, sir."

Before Snape could retort, I turned the conversation away from Docky's list of chores.

"Where did you hide the eggs?" The truth was, Easter eggs hunts had never really excited me. That must have been extra proof that I really was Snape's sister.

Docky beamed. "In this room, Miss Armilla."

I frowned. "You snuck in here early this morning?"

He nodded his head vigorously. "Docky was extra quiet so he wouldn't wake Miss Armilla."

"Oh." I smiled down at him, not entirely comfortable with the thought that Docky had been wandering around my bedroom whilst I had been sleeping. "Well, thanks Docky, I'll let you know if I find them all."

Docky looked thrilled as he bowed again.

"Be off with you then," said Snape, sneering down at him.

Docky immediately scampered off, but skidded to a halt in the doorway when Snape called after him.

"Yes, Master Severus?"

Snape paused, his face inscrutable. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

Docky smiled shyly. "Much better, Master Severus. Thankyou for asking." With that, he turned and scurried out of the room.

Snape shook his head. "He'll live forever, that elf."

I ignored him and took out my wand.

"What are you doing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Going on an Easter egg hunt," I said simply, raising my wand. "_Accio_ hidden Easter eggs!"

A dozen eggs immediately emerged from all nooks and crannies and came soaring over to where I sat in bed. Snape had to duck as a couple nearly hit him in the head.

I looked down at the enormous pile of chocolate in my lap. "I think I found them all."

My brother merely rolled his eyes. "Cheat."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

Though it was a quiet day, my first Easter with my brother turned out to one of the happiest times I had had with him. It wasn't that we did anything terribly exciting, but it was just a quiet, relaxing day that suited both of us.

After eating breakfast, we spent much of the morning in the greenhouse, which in my opinion, ran circles around all of Professor Sprout's greenhouses. I helped my brother in pruning a range of rare plants that had strict pruning timetables. At my questioning look, Snape had told me that he had taken the steps many years before to train Docky to look after the greenhouse. Apparently he would not allow anyone else on the Merrigan grounds when he was not there.

After an excellent Easter feast, which even Snape admitted that Docky had prepared very well, we spent an afternoon duelling. Now that I had gotten the hang of my shield charm, I was enjoying duelling more and more. I managed to get through the afternoon with hexes of respectable strength and I only fell down once. It was my aim that before the holidays started, I would be so confident using my shield whilst duelling that it would become second nature.

Though months ago I had laughed at the thought of it, in the evening when Snape and I sat down in the parlour, he taught me how to play Wizard's Chess. Admittedly, I wasn't very good at it, but as Snape always enjoyed a triumph, no matter how small, he didn't seemed bored in my first attempts to get the game right. The only time he sneered was when I was outraged at how brutally my queen was obliterated.

I went upstairs at nine o'clock to shower and get ready for bed, while Snape went down to the kitchen to explain to Docky that if he was cooking with red wine, he was not to drink the rest of the bottle. (Snape had become suspicious when we heard Docky singing the latest Weird Sisters hit at the top of his voice in the kitchen).

At twenty past nine, I sat down at the piano, contemplating whether or not I should play it. The same old music book I had used the last time was still there. I had remembered closing it, but it was open again on the page of _Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring_. I supposed Docky had opened it again when he was cleaning. I knew Snape wouldn't have done it.

I had managed to play on Christmas Day, even though it had been difficult to start. But Shar was further than ever from my now than he had been since Merle's death. I couldn't place the nerves I felt from sitting at the piano again though. Perhaps it was because this had been my mother's piano, or maybe it was because I had seen Snape's memory of Father yelling at Mother in front of that very piano.

I could almost imagine my brother as a small child, begging his mother to play music to him. Maybe my nerves were more to do with the negative feeling that pianos had instilled in my brother and I. I had come to associate Merle's piano with Shar's unwanted company, and I assumed Snape associated his mother's piano with their suffering years ago.

I knew it was ridiculous to dwell on things like that. As I put my finger on middle C and heard the sound, I suddenly had a vision of Snape's face from earlier that evening, when I had destroyed one of his bishops. Even though it was his loss, his face had momentarily shown a hint of triumph, and it was nothing to do with me opening up something on the board that would give him a good move. Though he hadn't said anything, I had the impression that he was pleased that I had succeeded in taking his bishop. As I pressed the key again, I smiled. As corny as it sounded, I supposed that playing the piano would weaken the negative memories associated with it.

I turned the pages of the book, finally stopping on _Eternal Father, Strong to Save_, which had been a favourite old hymn of Merle's. It had been the last hymn played at her funeral.

I played it softly to myself, over and over again. Even Morag was quiet for once, listening intently from her place atop the armoire. On my third round, I could almost hear Merle's voice singing the lyrics in my head.

_From rock and tempest, fire and foe,_

_Protect them wheresoe'er they go_

On my fifth round, I could almost swear Merle was in the room with me; her voice was so clear in my head.

Finally, I stopped, as I thought playing it once more would be dangerous; I was close to getting teary-eyed at the sound of Merle's voice in my head. Closing the lid, I waved my wand to put out the lights and got into bed.

Snape came in shortly after to say goodnight.

"You might just be a perfectionist," he said quietly, as he sat down on my bed, "but you played it perfectly the first time round."

I smiled in the darkness. "I thought you were in the kitchen."

"I was. But I've been in my bedroom next door for the last ten minutes."

"Oh."

"Now," he said, taking on his professor tone. "I know that _Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring_ is your favourite, since you told me that last Christmas."

I nodded.

"On your fifth rendition of this song," he went on, "I came to the conclusion that it was Merle's favourite song."

"How did you know that?" I asked, startled. God, the man was good.

"Like I said, I thought you played it perfectly the first time. I was proven wrong with each round after that. You were getting emotional and your playing improved as a result."

Now I _was_ embarrassed. "Oh…"

Snape didn't seem bothered at all. "Mother was just the same," he went on, still very much in professor mode. "I think that was one of the main reasons Father banned her from playing."

I shifted awkwardly. "I don't normally play the same song over and over again," I said quietly, terribly embarrassed.

He was quiet for a moment. "Well, I'm glad that you _did_ this time," he said softly.

"But…doesn't it seem like I'm being weak by doing it?" I asked, a little nonplussed.

He was silent again, deep in thought.

"Well," he said finally, "there's only Docky, Morag and I here. You're free to play the song as many times as you need to."

I shook my head. "Nah, I won't play it over and over again anymore."

"Why not?"

"It would probably seem like I'm hooked on the past then, and I really don't want to give you that impression." I was suddenly concerned that playing Merle's favourite song over and over would make Snape feel bad.

Snape shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous, Armilla."

"I'm not," I said quietly. "But if I kept playing Merle's song, wouldn't it seem like I was wishing I was in the past?"

"_No_," he said at once, sounding firm. "You're not wishing you're in the past. You played that song because you knew it was her favourite and more importantly, it gave you comfort because you miss her. Obviously that song has a strong connection to Merle and hearing it repeatedly made you feel close to her again."

I nodded. "That makes more sense."

He snorted. "Of course it does."

I said nothing. I always felt better when Snape put things in a different light. Sometimes I thought he knew me better than I knew myself. That was an eerie thought.

"Are you still so set against visiting the cemetery?" Snape asked quietly, a few moments later.

"Yes," I said, trying not to sound too stubborn. "I really don't want to go."

"I think you should."

"No."

"I really think you should."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"That answer is far from satisfactory," he said, his tone becoming hard.

"I know, but I still don't want to."

"Armilla-"

"Please?" I said, feeling a little desperate. "I really don't want to go."

"Fine," he said coolly. "We will come to an agreement on this, I assure you. Tomorrow you can either come to the cemetery with me for a short amount of time, or you can play that song no less than twenty-five times in one sitting."

I sighed, knowing I had lost. I had nearly become teary after playing it five times. I would be a mess after twenty-five times.

"You win," I grumbled.

"Don't be silly, you know you should be going."

I said nothing.

"You _know_ that, don't you?"

"Yes," I sighed. "That doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

I could have sworn I could see a smirk on his face through the darkness. "I can live with that."

I grumbled in reply.

He leaned over and kissed me goodnight. "Go to sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow."

o o o o o o o o o o o o

We set off for the cemetery straight after breakfast the next morning. I still didn't want to go, but that didn't seem to bother my brother.

"I promise you we won't be long," he said, after we had apparated in the cemetery.

I nodded, my eyes on the gravel path as I led the way to the grave.

About thirty feet away from the grave I came to a sudden halt, and Snape nearly ran into me.

"Armilla, what-"

"There's someone there," I whispered, gesturing to the figure of a woman standing in front of Merle's grave. It was very clearly a witch, but I couldn't tell if I knew whoever it was. She was wearing a long tartan travelling cloak and a dark green pointed hat. A wisp of white hair escaping from under the hat gave me a clue as to who it was.

"I think it's Matilda," I murmured. Matilda had been Merle's best friend, and towards the end, Merle's carer as well, and I had known Matilda all my life. She had been sitting with me when Merle died. It bothered me a little that I had trouble recognising her from the back. Perhaps it was because she had lost a little weight.

Snape hand grasped my wrist. "You have to be sure that it _is_ Matilda," he whispered in my ear. "Not…someone else."

I nodded, just as the figure turned around and saw the two of us moving slowly towards her. She was squinting in our direction, but as we drew closer her anxious face broke into a broad smile.

"Armilla!"

When we reached her, she threw her arms around me and kissed me. There were tears in her eyes, but I assumed that they were from visiting Merle's grave.

"My darling little one, you haven't grown at all!" she exclaimed, stepping back to look at me.

"I need to be sure it is you," I said quietly, hoping I wouldn't offend her.

She didn't even blink. "Of course, dear. One has to be careful in times like these. Ask me a question."

I thought for a moment. "How many times did Merle meet Cornelius Fudge?"

Matilda smiled. "She _never _met any of the Ministers for Magic! In fact, that day when you and I were sitting with her in her bedroom last September, she said spending a minute with Cornelius Fudge would be a robbery of her precious time."

I turned to Snape. "That's her."

Matilda held out her hand to Snape. "Professor Snape, I'm Matilda Loxley."

He nodded as he shook her hand.

Matilda looked smug as she turned back to me. "Well then, how can I be sure that I'm really talking to Armilla Kemp?"

"Snape," I corrected quietly, as Snape shifted slightly behind me.

She flushed. "Oh yes, my apologies. Slip of the tongue. Well, Armilla, how much did Rohan pay you to walk down the aisle when you were flower girl at his wedding?"

"A galleon," I answered.

"What's this?" said my brother's voice. "You had to be _bribed_ to walk down the aisle?"

"Oh, she was a business woman from an early age, Professor," said Matilda, giving me a sly smile. "Though she was an aloof child at times, she knew how to make money at age four."

Snape gave me a knowing look. "Ah, so the Slytherin tendencies came out even earlier than I thought," he said softly.

"No," I muttered. "I just didn't want to walk down the aisle."

"Indeed." He turned back to Matilda. "I thank you for maintaining contact with Armilla after Merle's death. I'm sure Armilla appreciates it, and you also have my sincere gratitude."

Matilda looked surprised. "Thankyou, Professor. It was always my intention to keep in contact with Armilla. I have been delighted these past months by Armilla's letters to me. They are dramatically different from the ones I received in the month or two after Merle's death. I can tell that Armilla is happy with you."

I was cringing slightly. It felt a bit like I wasn't there. I hoped Snape wasn't wondering about my earlier letters to Matilda. I had continued writing to Matilda after Merle's death, and the earlier letters were much more forced and short, as that was the time when I was struggling to develop a relationship with my brother, not to mention having bursts of depression.

Snape didn't enquire however. He merely listened (quite patiently for him), with occasional input, as Matilda asked all her questions.

"And Terry and Lisa? Are they well?"

"Yes, they're fine."

Matilda chuckled. "Have they become a couple yet?"

I nodded. "Last year." I must have forgotten to tell her that in my letters.

She smiled. "And you?"

I blushed. "…No."

"Armilla's studies come first at the moment," Snape said smoothly, his tone and choice of words immediately indicating to Matilda that school romances were forbidden territory.

"Nothing wrong with that," she said airily. "Now, tell me about your studies. Are you near the top?"

"Yeah…in some of them…"

"In _most_ of them," Snape corrected. "Astronomy and History of Magic are the only real challenges she faces."

Matilda beamed. "So modest, Armilla." Her face became serious. "And are you planning on staying with your father over the summer?"

I hadn't given much detail in my letters about my relationship with Father. I knew though, that Dumbledore often communicated with her, and I knew that she had an idea of what Aurelius Snape was like.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"We haven't arranged the details yet," Snape explained. "When summer comes closer we will work out exactly what is happening."

Matilda turned back to me. "Even so, I would love to see you over the holidays." She looked at Snape. "Would that be possible?"

Snape was far from being a social being, but he nodded all the same. "We could arrange something," he said quietly. "Just for a few hours at a time."

"Of course," she said, looking delighted. "I have a few more of Merle's old things to give you. Photos and things she left at my house over the years."

After several more minutes of asking about school and how my Easter was, Matilda left, but not before promising that she would see me sometime during the summer.

"Speaking of Merle's old things," Snape said quietly, after Matilda had disapparated, "I need to go to London today for a few things. When we stop at Gringotts, I think we should also go to Merle's vault so you can collect whatever you would like to bring home."

I nodded. "Alright." I looked back down at the grave. I was in a better mood because I had seen Matilda again. I had not seen her since the funeral.

We stood in silence for a few moments, each of us lost in thought. For some reason, I was thinking about the time Matilda had taught me to fly. I had ended up in a tree, and had refused to come down.

"You know," said Snape quietly, glancing over at me. "It might be beneficial if I get to know Matilda. I'll find out all sorts of things about you."

I glared at him, though he had a small smile on his face. "I tell you plenty."

"You didn't tell me that you were so Slytherin as a child."

"I wasn't. Matilda was exaggerating."

He sneered. "I got the feeling that Matilda is the sort of witch who would tell me anything I wanted to know."

"She is," I replied. "But you can't take advantage of that."

He raised an eyebrow, looking slightly amused. "Why not?"

"Because I don't ask Mother to tell me everything about you. I ask _you_."

He nodded. "Fair point, I suppose." He narrowed his eyes. "So how many times were you bribed to do things?"

"Just that one time at the wedding. It was worth it too."

He shook his head, staring at the grave.

I looked at it too, contemplating whether or not I should tell him about hearing Merle's voice the night before.

"I…heard Merle's voice last night," I murmured.

Snape looked sharply at me. "Armilla-"

"Oh, I know it wasn't real," I said hastily, and his face softened slightly. "I just heard it in my head when I was playing. That's why I kept playing…because I could hear her voice."

Snape looked troubled. "As long as you are aware that it's a part of your imagination…she can't come back, Armilla."

"I know…I'm just telling you what I heard…or what I thought I heard," I said quietly, not looking at him.

"I am pleased that you told me," he said at once, still looking concerned. "Are you sure that it isn't bothering you?"

Slowly, I nodded. "It was just unexpected, that's all, even if I did imagine it."

"You _did_ imagine it," he said firmly.

Again, I nodded. "I know," I whispered.

"Come," he said, taking my hands in his to disapparate. He held them a lot tighter than he normally did. "Let's go to London."

A few very unpleasant moments later, we apparated near the wizarding bank. Side-Along Apparition was still not one of my favourite things to do.

We walked along the street and into Gringotts Bank, and several minutes later we were riding along in a cart directed by a very gruff goblin.

We visited the vault 106 first, which Snape had inherited along with the Merrigan Estate. My first glance inside the vault showed me that it was no wonder my mother had been such a desirable wife for many young bachelors. I could imagine how hungry for more money my father must have been.

"I imagine the contents of Father's vault are very similar to this," said Snape, as I followed him into the vault.

"You've never seen inside it?" I asked.

"No," he said curtly. He gestured to a few jewelled boxes on the left hand side. "You may look through those if you wish. I believe there are things there that would be of more interest to you than to me."

As he went about collecting some money, I went over to the boxes and examined them. There were quite a few of them. I guessed that they were all full of jewellery.

I was right. The first box contained old brooches, some decorated with pearls, others with rubies or sapphires. Another box contained a gold necklace with a ruby pendant. The third, an oval shaped white satin-covered box, was empty.

"This one's empty," I said, holding up the box. Snape glanced up briefly to see it.

"The pearl you are currently wearing came from that box," he said shortly, returning to what he was doing.

I stared back down at the box. That was odd. Snape had given, no _loaned_ me the necklace in the Secret Wing before he knew we were related. I was supposed to use the pearl to let him know if I needed him. It seemed strange that I had been wearing something belonging to our mother before I knew about her.

Snape came over as I picked up a small silver box that seemed to be sealed all over. Engraved upon the top, it read _My Greatest Treasures_. There was a small oval indent below the writing, but otherwise it was quite plain.

"I've never been able to open that one," he said, taking it from me and examining it. "I have no idea what is in it."

"The indent must mean something," I said, moving close to examine it too. "It might need some sort of key to open it."

We both suddenly looked up at each other. I knew straightaway that he was thinking along the same line as me.

I held up my left hand and took hold of the small oval shaped locket on my bracelet. As awkward as it was, I let my wrist hover over the box, while I pressed the locket into the indent, the emerald facing up.

It was a perfect fit. The emerald glowed once and the box opened. I pulled the locket out and watched as Snape pulled the lid back.

"Greatest Treasures," I laughed, as I peered into the box. Inside, I saw a diamond ring, sitting on top of a few black and white photos. The photo I could see was of a young woman and a baby. It was very clear that it was my mother and brother. "I hadn't seen photos anywhere," I said, peering into the box, which Snape still held.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, looking at me as if I wasn't all there. "There's nothing in here. All I can see is black velvet lining."

A chill went through me. I must have been going mad. First hearing Merle's voice in my head, and now_ this_.

"I'm not imagining it," I said helplessly.

Snape seemed to decide to give me the benefit of the doubt, for a second later he placed one hand inside the box and felt around.

"I can't feel anything," he said, not looking at me.

"I'm _not_ mad," I said indignantly. I was _not_ imagining it. My mind wouldn't simply invent a diamond ring and one of Snape's baby photos.

Snape held the box out to me. "Well, then, pick up whatever it is you see." He was watching me closely, his expression calculating.

My reasoning skills suddenly came back to me. "Maybe only I can see what's inside because I'm wearing the bracelet," I suggested.

He nodded, still holding out the box. "That is my belief. Of course you're not mad."

I reached in, took hold of the diamond ring and pulled it out. Snape's face didn't change in the slightest as I pulled it out, yet I knew that he could now see the ring. I put it in his hand and he held it up to examine it.

"Is that Mother's engagement ring?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, Mother's ring had two emeralds as well as a diamond. This must have been our grandmother's ring."

He gave the ring back to me and I put it back in the box. I pulled out the photos.

Snape grimaced when he saw the first one in my hand. Mother was standing on the Snape Manor grounds, holding my brother. She was smiling, her eyes moving from the camera down to her son. The baby Snape didn't seem foul-tempered, but he wasn't smiling either. He seemed more interested in the things around him. I turned the photo over.

_Me and Severus, aged seven months, August, 1960_

I handed Snape the photo, which he took with a frown on his face. While he looked at it, I looked at the next photo.

There was Mother again, sitting on a bench in the grounds of the Merrigan Estate. Next to her was my brother, who looked to be about three. His black eyes were avoiding the camera and so he contented himself with looking either at Mother or the grass around him. His facial features hadn't changed a great deal since then, except maybe his face was a little rounder as a three-year-old. I flipped the photo over.

_Me and Severus, aged three and a half, July, 1963_

Snape's frown deepened further when he took the second photo from me.

"I remember that," he murmured, staring down at it.

"Are they the only two photos she had?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "There are some at home, and some might remain at Father's house. Obviously, Mother treasured these ones the most."

I looked down at the last photo. It was of a good looking woman with long dark hair and dark eyes.

"Ah, Potter's great-grandmother," Snape sneered, looking down at the photo.

"That's Lucia Potter?" I turned the photo over.

_Lucia Potter (nee Merrigan), 1965_

"If she hadn't existed there would have been no James Potter," he said bitterly.

"But she meant a lot to Mother," I pointed out.

"True. That doesn't excuse her descendants being complete fools."

I placed the photos back in the box and closed the lid. It immediately sealed itself once more and Snape placed it back amongst the pile of boxes.

"Right then," he said, straightening up, "Let's go to your vault then."

The goblin gave us a filthy look when we came out; he clearly hadn't liked to be kept waiting.

"It's his job," Snape muttered in my ear as we moved off towards my vault, number 684.

Merle's vault was nowhere near as big as Snape's, but she had left a considerable amount behind, especially since our house had been sold after her death.

There was much more in there now since the last time I had been there. Besides money, there were many boxes of valuable or cherished items that had belonged to Merle. There were also things that belonged to me; things I had left behind at Merle's house.

In a corner there was a box of old books, journals and albums.

"I had no idea Merle was a book collector," said Snape, as he examined the inside cover of Matteo Van Eijk's _Most Captivating Potions of the 17th Century_. "This is a first edition."

I shrugged. "She inherited most of them."

While Snape contented himself with looking through the books, I looked through the rest of the various items taken from the house. My music manuscripts were there, as well various magical trinkets that Merle had prized.

I made a small pile of the things I wanted to take with me, and after much hesitation, I added my music book to the pile. Most of the other things were books, photo albums or pieces of jewellery that had belonged to Merle.

Sorting through the last of the boxes, I came across a tiny green box that I hadn't seen in years. Opening it, I saw a small princess cut diamond earring.

"Why is there only one in there?" said a deep voice behind me.

"Because Merle's brother took the other one years ago in a dispute over who was meant to inherit them," I replied, looking closely at the earring. "Apparently they're worth a bit and her brother didn't see why she should have them just because she was female. I think he just wanted to sell them."

Snape frowned. "That's moronic, considering one earring wouldn't get him far."

I shrugged. "I think he was waiting all these years for Merle to just give it up. She had never gotten her ears pierced, so he thought she had no use for them."

"She would have given them to you, though," he said.

"He didn't know about me," I replied. "They had the argument before I was born and as far as I know, he never spoke to Merle after that."

We stared down at the earring. It was amazing how money could divide families.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

It had started to rain by the time Snape and I returned home for lunch. I hoped that it would stop before we returned to Hogwarts late that afternoon.

I went up to my bedroom to put down the things I had brought with me from the bank. When I went back downstairs, I heard voices coming from the breakfast room, where I was supposed to meet Snape for lunch.

The door was wide open, but I walked slowly along the corridor, staying as quiet as I could. I wasn't planning on eavesdropping; I wanted to find out who else was in the room. If it was Lucius Malfoy or another Death Eater, I would sneak back upstairs and wait.

As I got closer to the room, I could make out what they were saying.

"I hope you've taken the necessary steps to stop letters for a separate identity coming to you?" My brother's voice sounded a little angry.

"Of course, Severus. That's not the problem. It's the contents of the letter that's the problem."

That voice was very welcome to me. I moved into the doorway and lingered there for a moment, waiting for the two adults to notice my presence. I didn't want to just barge in.

"Wotcha, Armilla!" Tonks had had her back to me. But at the sound of my footsteps she had spun around. Today, her hair was golden blonde and her eyes were chocolate brown.

Snape, who was standing further away, had an impatient look on his face, and looked agitated.

"Hi Tonks," I said, moving into the room. I addressed myself to my brother. "Do you want me to come back later?" There was obviously something Order related going on and I knew Snape didn't like me knowing everything they did.

"No," he said, after a moment's contemplation. "You may as well stay." I had the impression that he wasn't sure if I should stay.

At that moment Docky appeared. He crept into the room, performed a complicated spell and made our lunch appear on the table.

"Should Docky add an extra plate to the table, Master Severus?" he asked, looking between Tonks and Snape.

"Yes," said Snape.

"No, no," Tonks said hastily. "I can just wait for you two to eat."

"Don't be absurd, Nymphadora," he snapped, glaring at her. "You're not going to watch us eat, so you may as well join us." He sat down at his place at the head of the table.

I sat down at my place, and after a moment's hesitation, Tonks also sat down. Docky performed a similar spell and a plate appeared at her place. He then bowed himself out of the room.

Clearly intent on not wasting time, Snape immediately filled me in on why Tonks was there. "Nymphadora received a letter from Father this morning."

I had been about to put food in my mouth, but at that, I put my fork back on my plate. I never thought that this would have something to do with Father. Tonks had just played the role of dance teacher and friend to the governess when she had visited while I was staying at Father's house.

"Addressed to Mary Donahey?" I said, knowing the answer already.

Tonks merely nodded, looking grim.

"The letter came directly to _you_?" I pressed her. If Father was tracking mail, it would _not_ do to have Mary Donahey's mail going to Tonks.

"No, it didn't," she replied, shooting a glare at my brother. "As I've already told your brother, Armilla, Dumbledore and I arranged a means by which any mail to Mary Donahey would not come straight to me. I certainly didn't expect to get mail, but there you have it."

"Moving on," Snape said impatiently, after swallowing his food, "What did Father want?"

"He offered me the role of Armilla's governess for the summer period she spends with him," she said, her gaze moving from me to Snape and back again.

All at once I felt a mixture of ecstatic and frightened feelings. It would be wonderful to have Tonks with me the whole time I stayed with Father. But on the other hand, it would be too dangerous. If Tonks was found out…I didn't like to think about the consequences. My better judgement told me that it wasn't fair to put Tonks in such a position.

"Did he mention any reasons for not employing Zita Rougier again?" Snape asked quietly, his face impassive.

Tonks nodded. "All he said was that Rougier was unavailable. He mentioned being very impressed by my professional approach to teaching Armilla to dance, even though I really never did, and he asked if I would be available to live at the house during the time Armilla stays with him."

"You can't," I said softly. "It's too dangerous."

Tonks stared at me, looking worried. "I thought you'd be thrilled by the idea, Armilla."

"I would be thrilled…if it wasn't so dangerous." I met her gaze. "In all honesty, I couldn't imagine you being thrilled by the idea. Would you really want to spend a month there?"

Tonks didn't answer, and I knew she wasn't thrilled with the idea either. Even so, I would have bet that she would put herself forward and do it anyway.

"Armilla is right," Snape said, looking very serious. "It would be a great comfort to have you there with Armilla, but it is just too dangerous. If anything happened...your position should not be put in danger at our expense. The repercussions on both our sides could be disastrous."

Slowly, Tonks nodded. "If you change your mind…you know that I would do it in a second."

Snape and I both nodded.

"Thankyou," said Snape quietly.

Tonks still looked troubled.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "I don't think Father could find a governess worse than Rougier. It might not be too bad."

Tonks smiled grimly. "I prefer your sarcastic side, Armilla. I can see straight through your optimism."

I shrugged, turning back to my food. "I haven't got anything sarcastic to say." All of a sudden, things seemed gloomy again. I didn't want to think about who Father would hire as the next governess.

Tonks looked down at her plate and continued eating. I noticed that Snape wasn't eating; he was watching me instead, his expression unfathomable.

I looked back at him, waiting for him to say something, but he merely shook his head slightly and continued eating.

Trying to make the conversation cheerful again, as was Tonks' way, she spent the rest of the meal asking me about school, my friends and whether the Weasley twins had been up to no good lately.

By the time she left, she seemed in better spirits, but I could tell that she was worried about the decision we had made.

"Well," said Snape, closing the front door. "It'll be easier to get through this one if you imagine that she had never been asked."

"I suppose," I murmured, looking up at him. He was right. If I spent time thinking about the idea of Tonks playing governess during the summer, I would only become more depressed about going to Father's.

He sighed as he reached out and pulled me into his arms. "I wasn't sure whether or not to let you stay," he muttered. "If you hadn't been there, we might have decided to not tell you about the offer."

"No," I said at once. "I'm glad I know what's going on. It's just bit disappointing, that's all."

"I know," he said, hugging me tighter. "But you'll be going there more prepared than ever. And you'll have your chocolate frog card to communicate with me."

I nodded. "Is it really not worth trying to be optimistic when Tonks can see right through it?"

"I think Nymphadora was just lashing out because she was upset,' he said after a moment. "She would do it if we asked her to."

"I know."

"And I'll be forthright in saying that I think you handled the situation remarkably well," he went on, releasing me so he could meet my gaze. "Not everyone would give up such a desirable situation in such a selfless way. I am exceedingly proud of you."

It was nice to hear such words coming from Snape, but I couldn't appreciate them as much as I wanted to, as I was too busy trying to push Tonks-as-the-governess from my mind without resorting to occluding.

"Don't think on it, Armilla," he said softly. "Give optimism a go."

I shook my head. "Maybe Tonks is right. Maybe sarcasm is a better key to survival."

Snape narrowed his eyes, but I could also see a tiny smile. "If sarcasm was the key to survival, I assure you, Armilla, that we would both live forever."

o o o o o o o o o

Please review!


	65. Fly Away Home

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 64

Snape and I returned to Hogwarts a couple of hours after Tonks' departure. I tried my best to put the Tonks-as-my-governess thought out of my mind, but since I wasn't occluding, it kept making its way back into my head.

I knew we had made the right decision; it was not right to expect Tonks to take up the position of governess at Snape Manor over the summer. It was just too dangerous. But if Rougier was unavailable, that meant I would be getting someone entirely new. I didn't know how much worse a governess could get. But then, I supposed there were worse things one could do than practising walking, sitting, eating, and memorising books.

"Do you think Rougier made herself unavailable because of what you said to her?" I asked Snape, as we made our way towards the entrance to the school.

When we had run into Rougier in Diagon Alley during Christmas holidays, Snape had threatened her, and warned her not to come near me again.

"I would say so," he said, after a moment of silence. "The further that woman stays away from you the better."

"I can get by without a governess," I muttered.

"I know," he said quietly. "But the lack of a governess might mean spending more time with Father."

"There's no happy ending either way." I couldn't see any good coming from another visit to Father's house.

"No, there isn't," he admitted. "Sometimes a happy ending seems quite far out of reach."

I glanced over at him, but his face didn't give much away. I believed that last comment came from quite deep inside him. After all, Snape would know what a hard life was, and I would have bet that he had been in plenty of situations throughout his life where it seemed that a happy outcome was impossible.

"Does Lucius Malfoy visit you at all during the summer?" I asked, suddenly worried about the thought of Lucius Malfoy dropping in with Draco.

"Rarely, actually," he answered. "We're generally too busy for social calls."

"Won't he find an excuse to bring Draco?"

He was silent for a moment. "He might," he said finally, "though I believe Lucius is more likely to bring Draco to Father's house while you are there. He knows I do not approve of you entering a relationship at the moment."

"I'm going to have to spend time with Draco then," I muttered, feeling revolted at the thought of it.

"If he comes, you will have to be very careful," Snape murmured, as we came closer to the castle entrance. "You will need to appease Father first, and then we'll work things out from there."

I nodded. Things had become so difficult.

"Best not to think on it now, Armilla," my brother advised, as we went into the Entrance Hall. "You have OWLs to think of."

"I know," I said quietly. There was another thing to worry about. OWL results – and my father's reaction if they weren't good.

We walked in silence down to the dungeons. Morag wasn't around to make any noise. I had let her out earlier to fly ahead of us. She was probably already in my bedroom.

Before long we were back in our sitting room and taking off our cloaks.

Wasting no time, Snape headed straight for the bookcase closest to the hallway, taking out his wand as he went. He tapped a number of books as well as performing a complicated wand movement. A second later, the bookcase had vanished to reveal a dark corridor.

I was no stranger to this. I had been along this corridor a couple of times now. It was another entrance, made by Dumbledore himself a long time ago, to the Secret Wing. Snape and I had been using it to get to Dumbledore's office to visit Mother. It actually took longer, this way, but there was no alternative route now.

We walked through the darkness for a couple of minutes before reaching light at the foot of a staircase. This was the same staircase that Snape had caught me at the top of when I had been sleepwalking months and months ago. It was the time when I had dreamt of a woman's face in a puddle and I had been running to catch it. Not long after, I had found out that it was my mother's face.

We climbed the stairs and kept walking until we were in another dark corridor which I knew would bring us out into Dumbledore's office.

"Did you tell Mother we would speak to her as soon as we got back?" I asked my brother, as we walked in the darkness.

"She wanted to see us as close to Easter as possible," he answered. "I'm not about to deny her such a wish."

I smiled to myself. Snape _could_ be affectionate towards Mother when he wanted to.

"Hello my dears!" Mother said happily when we had sat down, and I had touched the surface of the ring.

I was verbal in my greeting, while Snape merely nodded.

"And how was your first Easter with Severus, Armilla?" Mother asked, her eyes shining.

"Good," I replied, without hesitation. "It was nice to leave Hogwarts for a few days."

"We went to Gringotts, Mother," said Snape. "We found something interesting in the Merrigan vault."

Mother smiled. "Do tell."

Snape proceeded to tell Mother all about the small silver box that I had opened with the locket on my bracelet, and the contents we had found within it. Mother's smile became broader with every word.

"That box has been passed down through many generations, Armilla," she said, turning to look at me. "All the women who have worn the bracelet have used that box to store private treasures in. As you saw, that ring and the photos of Severus were my treasures."

"I guessed that the ring was our grandmother's," Snape stated.

Mother nodded. "You would be right. It was indeed my mother's." She looked at me again. "You can use the box, Armilla. You can store your treasured possessions in there."

I nodded. "Thankyou."

"Did Severus buy you chocolate for Easter, Armilla?" asked Mother.

"Yes," I answered.

"Excellent. And did Severus receive chocolate from-?"

"There's no need to talk about me as if I was not here," Snape interrupted, looking irritated. "Yes, Mother, Armilla did buy me chocolate."

Mother rolled her eyes. "Then I hope you're eating it, Severus, dear."

I smiled. I savoured the moments when Mother called Snape _dear_.

"Of course," he said impatiently. "We didn't come here to talk about the amount of chocolate I'm consuming, Mother."

"Well, there are plenty of things to talk about, Severus," she said, looking serious.

"Then nominate a topic," he said sneeringly.

Really, I was just entertained watching the two of them interact. They seemed to bounce off each other. It probably got really heated when I wasn't there to watch.

Mother turned to look at me. "Severus won't give me accurate information, so I shall ask you, Armilla. Has Severus found himself a potential wife yet?"

Snape suddenly flexed his fingers, and I had the impression that he badly wanted to strangle something.

"Not that I know of," I said evenly, looking straight at Mother.

Mother looked imploringly at Snape. "Severus?"

Snape closed his eyes for a few seconds, as if calling forth every last bit of patience he possessed.

"I have been through this topic with you, Mother, more times than I have explained what a cauldron is for to Longbottom," he said through gritted teeth. "For the _last_ time, I am _not _getting married. I am _not_ having children. It has _nothing_ to do with the state of the wizarding world. I am content with bachelorhood, as you call it, and no incessant nagging from you will change that."

Mother opened her mouth, and then closed it again, looking vexed. Snape, meanwhile, glared determinedly at the wall.

"I thought we came here for Easter," I said suddenly, trying to put an end to the awkward silence.

"What is Armilla going to do for a mother in her life when I am gone?" Mother exclaimed, ignoring me completely.

Snape raised an eyebrow, as he turned back to face her. "If I was to marry, Mother, my wife would be Armilla's sister-in-law, not her mother."

"I know that! Don't be impertinent, Severus," she snapped. "You know perfectly well what I mean. A fifteen-year-old girl needs more than two wizards to depend on."

"I-" I began.

"Stay out of this, Armilla," said Mother, shooting me a warning glare.

"She needs a mother-figure in her life, Severus, and it is _your _duty to supply that for her."

"No, it's not," I said. "I get by perfectly well."

"I _told_ you to stay out of this, Armilla," Mother snapped.

Mother had never spoken to me in such a way before, and it was quite alarming to hear it. I knew she had a bit of a temper, but I had only seen her show it to my brother.

I looked over at Snape to see him glaring down at Mother. "It is _not_ your place to tell Armilla to stay out of this," he said furiously. "Armilla knows what she needs."

"She's _fifteen_, Severus!" Mother cried, looking equally furious. "It's not up to her to decide what she needs. You know she needs an older female in her life."

Snape sighed. When he spoke, his voice became quieter, a direct contrast to Mother's voice at the moment. "Armilla will be sixteen in a couple of months. She will be of age next year, Mother. I would appreciate it if you would not speak of her as if she was a small child without a mind of her own-"

"How dare-" Mother interrupted, her eyes ablaze. Snape, still speaking quietly, managed to override her.

"As for an older female in her life, there are plenty of women amongst our acquaintance who would talk to Armilla if she required it."

"Name them!" Mother snapped.

Once again, Snape sighed, but acquiesced. He started counting on his fingers. "Nymphadora Tonks, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Molly Weasley…and of course, Merle's friend Matilda, who, as you know, has known Armilla all her life. Do you really need any more?"

I was interested in hearing him list the names. I was surprised to hear him mention Molly Weasley. As a rule, Snape generally despised Weasleys.

Mother said nothing. She just stared up at Snape with an expressionless face. Snape had once told me that she was an Occlumens. I wondered if she had some sort of shield in place. However, a moment later, she burst into tears.

I looked at Snape, positively alarmed, but he remained collected as he peered down at Mother.

"She's well taken care of," he said softly to her. "There's no need to worry about that."

"But…but not by me," she sobbed. "Nnnot…by me."

"No," he said quietly. "Not by you. You have never been replaced. Armilla has never called anyone else _Mother_."

"But it's my fault she grew up not knowing who she was." It didn't seem Mother was going to stop crying any time soon.

"And she was better off," said Snape curtly. "If you had stayed with Father, Armilla would be a lot worse of now."

I nodded my agreement absent-mindedly.

"This is ridiculous," he continued, looking closely at Mother. "Why are you bringing up such things _now_?"

She shook her head, her eyes streaming with tears. "Guilt," she whispered. "I left my daughter alone in a dangerous world without an identity…and now that's she's found it, there's even more danger."

Snape stared at her, his lips pursed. I was wondering myself what had caused such an outburst. Why was Mother feeling such a sense of guilt now?

"Yes, but why _now_?" Snape demanded. "Why are you expressing such guilt _now_?"

Mother shuddered. "I don't know…I _feel_ it."

"Feel what?" he asked.

Mother didn't answer, for all of a sudden, her face faded slightly and remained that way for a couple of seconds before becoming clear once more.

"What happened?" I asked, looking at my brother.

Snape was frowning as he stared at Mother's face.

"What do you mean what happened?" she asked, looking confused.

Snape peered down at her, his eyes narrowing. "Your face just faded briefly."

Now it was Mother's turn to frown. "I didn't notice anything."

I nodded. "It did though." I looked over at Snape. "Why did that happen?"

He shook his head slightly. "I don't know." He repeated his question to Mother. "Feel what?"

"Pardon?" she said, blinking.

He sneered. "You just said that you didn't know why you were expressing such guilt. Then you said _I feel it_. What do you feel?"

Mother looked confused. "I really don't know. I don't know what came over me. I can't explain what I said..."

I looked closely at her. Mother looked really lost. "Do you remember saying that you felt guilty?"

She blinked. "Vaguely." She turned to look at Snape, looking a little dazed. "What were you saying about your wife, Severus?"

Snape narrowed his eyes. "I said I never intend to have one. Are you quite alright, Mother?"

She blinked yet again, before smiling widely. "Oh I am very well, dear. And how are you?"

Snape looked startled. "…fine, thankyou," he said finally.

We talked with Mother for another twenty minutes, and she seemed perfectly fine. There were no more outbursts, and she didn't snap at me again.

"What was that all about?" I asked Snape, as we went back into the Secret Wing.

He shook his head. "I really don't know."

"Something faulty might have happened with the magic in the ring," I suggested.

"After all this time?" he said. "The ring has been functioning for a long time."

As we walked in the darkness, we were both silent.

"She seemed really vague," I said quietly, as we finally came into a lighter area.

"I agree," he replied, as we walked past the bedroom I had stayed in whilst in the Secret Wing. "It was like the ring had some sort of lapse."

"The magic isn't supposed to wear off though," I reasoned. "It will only shut down once Mother leaves the ring."

"I don't think the magic is wearing off," he said. "Something else was happening, but I'm not sure what."

o o o o o o o o o o

The Easter holidays zoomed by at an alarming rate. I spent a lot of my time in the dungeons with my brother. He was keen to use to time to do extra study for my OWLs, and as a result, I ended up spending much more time in the dungeons than with my friends in Ravenclaw Tower.

Lisa and Terry were too busy studying to be annoyed at my constant absence. On the occasions during the holidays when I did venture up to Ravenclaw Tower, they were always stewing over books or writing out study notes.

I was becoming more confident in most of my subjects. The only subject that didn't seem to sink in so well was History of Magic, and that was only because my mind really wasn't interested in learning the content. Astronomy was nearly as bad. I had never liked either subject.

As well as the studying, I had spent a lot of time refining my mental duelling shield with Snape. Now that I could keep the shield firmly in place, I was becoming a lot better at sending stronger hexes to Snape. In turn, he had put even more effort into his duelling, so that I was always challenged when facing him. During the holidays, we duelled for up to an hour on a daily basis.

We also visited Mother more regularly than we had been before, mostly out of concern after what had happened when we had returned to Hogwarts. Most of the time, Mother was fine, talking merrily and occasionally getting into a heated battle with Snape over the smallest things. On a few occasions however, she suddenly became very emotional and her face faded again. Each time this happened, her face faded even more. However, once her face had returned to normal, she had no recollection of what had happened.

I found the whole thing most vexing. Despite what Snape said, I was concerned that something was happening to the magic within the ring. I was worried that it would cause the ring to break completely before Mother had a chance to leave it properly. I didn't want Mother's spirit to be stuck in a broken ring.

Every time I brought the issue up with my brother, he stated again that he wasn't sure why. I thought he must have had a theory on why it was happening, but I knew he generally didn't like to share things with me unless he was certain.

On the Sunday night before school resumed, I spent a couple of hours in the Ravenclaw common room with Lisa and Terry. I normally spent Sunday evenings with Snape in our quarters in the dungeons, but Umbridge had called a last minute staff meeting. Snape had gone along to it grudgingly, grumbling about decrees and people resembling toads.

The first week of term was set aside for Careers Advice for the fifth years. Students were expected to meet with their Head of House to discuss career paths and subject choices for NEWT level. Snape and I had discussed this at the beginning of the year, and he had left the choice up to me as to whether I needed to see Professor Flitwick for Careers Advice.

I didn't feel the need to see my Head of House. I probably would have felt that I needed to if Snape had wanted more influence over my career. But so far, he had only stressed that he wanted me to have a career over being someone's wife.

I knew Snape was keen for me to do something highly academic. When I had said that I was interested in research, he had agreed that it was suitable, and we had barely spoken of careers since.

In truth, I hadn't given a great deal of thought to my career since then either. I had become accustomed to living day-by-day, especially after my experiences at Father's house. With a double agent job like Snape's, he was probably functioning according to the same mindset.

There was a list of the fifth year students on the noticeboard in the common room, with times for their meeting with Professor Flitwick. I hadn't been allocated a meeting time as yet, and I had received a note from Flitwick saying that if I wished to see him, he would allocate a time.

"I know exactly what I want to do," said Terry, not bothering to pick up any of the pamphlets that were sitting on the table. Terry had told Lisa and me back in first year that he wanted to be a Healer. I thought he would make a great Healer. Terry not only had brains, he also had that natural charisma that would make his future patients prefer seeing _him_ to others.

"You're lucky," Lisa grumbled, staring at a pamphlet that read _Make a Bang at the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes_. "I have absolutely no idea what I want to do."

"You can be a Healer like me, Lis," said Terry, smiling affectionately at her. "We can both be _Healer Boot_."

Lisa blushed, but returned the smile all the same.

I laughed. "You've planned that far into the future, have you?"

"Nah," they said in unison.

"I don't think I want to be a Healer," Lisa added, staring at the pamphlet with the crossed bone-and-wand emblem of St Mungo's. "I can't stand the sight of blood and broken bones."

I shook my head. "I don't think I'd have the patience to deal with the people who'd come in."

Terry grinned. "You've got that right, Milly. If someone came in with a problem caused by experimenting or accidental magic, you'd demand to know first why they're such an idiot and whether or not it was from lack of brain cells that got them into such a predicament."

I smiled. "I don't know if I would be that rude."

Terry shook his head. "Ah, well, I believe you'd say it more eloquently than that."

I nodded. "I won't deny it." I knew I didn't have the temperament to be a Healer. A sarcastic and impatient nature certainly wasn't on the job description.

"Why don't you work at the Ministry, Lisa?" I said, looking at the spread of leaflets relating to various ministry departments.

She shook her head. "What? Answer to someone like Cornelius Fudge? Ha! Unlikely."

"You know, I can imagine you being self-employed," said Terry, looking thoughtful. "Running your own business or something."

I nodded. "I can see that."

After a moment, Lisa also nodded. "Answering to myself? I'd like that. Being in control? I'd _really_ like that."

Terry and I laughed.

"What sort of business though?" I asked.

Lisa shrugged. "I don't know."

"Just don't set up a shop in Knockturn Alley," Terry advised. "I don't think it would go down well with my parents."

"_Your_ parents?" she exclaimed. "_My_ parents won't let me near Knockturn Alley now."

They both looked at me.

"I went there with Snape to buy Father's Christmas present," I admitted. "But he didn't like taking me there."

"I don't suppose he did," Terry said. "I've heard there's some shifty folk there."

"What career are you considering, Mill?" Lisa asked.

"I don't know," I answered. Snape had forbidden me months ago to discuss my career with anyone. I wasn't allowed to mention my interest in entering the research field. Nothing could get back to Malfoy.

"Does your Father care what subjects you pick for sixth year?" Lisa asked.

"He would intervene if I was to choose Muggle Studies or Divination," I answered. "All I know is that whatever I do, I must receive high marks."

"But that's the same with Snape, isn't it?" asked Terry. "I mean, he expects you to do really well too."

I nodded. "Yeah, but there's a different sort of pressure."

Terry grinned. "Oh yeah, Snape wouldn't kill you if you do badly, but your father would."

I smiled. "Something along those lines."

Lisa gazed at me, looking a little concerned. "What do you think your father will do if you don't go as well in your OWLs as you'd like…as _he'd_ like?"

I shook my head. "I'm not thinking that far into the future at the moment. I'm taking each day as it comes." The truth was, to avoid a nervous breakdown, I occluded madly every time the thought of my father and my OWLs results entered my head.

"And Snape?" asked Terry quietly.

"He wants me to do well," I said simply, "just the same as your parents."

"And if you _don't_?" he pressed.

"He'll say that I didn't get the mark I deserved and he'll move on," I replied. "He's made that clear to me."

"Is he having any influence over your career?" Terry went on. I knew Terry was only interested in that because _his_ parents were very keen for him to be a Healer.

"Not really." I smiled. "But he doesn't want me to leave school and become a housewife."

Lisa snorted. "No, I'd expect not."

"Why don't you become a teacher like him?" Terry suggested, looking thoroughly amused by the idea.

"I think not," I said smoothly. "Teaching isn't for me."

"Oh come on," said Lisa, laughing. "Doesn't Snape come home to you raving about his love of watching his students learn?"

I smiled. "Well, not _every _day."

o o o o o o o o o o

On my way back to the dungeons I ran into the Weasley twins in the Entrance Hall.

"Hey Armilla!" Fred called, gesturing for me to come over.

Luckily, seeing as it was approaching curfew, there weren't many people about. I didn't really want Draco Malfoy seeing me talking to the Weasley twins. Though they were purebloods, Malfoy loathed the Weasleys. In the Malfoy Bible, it clearly stated that Weasleys were to be avoided due to their blood traitor, muggle-loving tendencies. In my bible, it clearly stated that pointed-faced, narcissistic blond fools were to fall victim to my sense of sarcasm, thus strengthening my ultimate goal to be a match for my brother's sarcasm.

"Hi," I said, as I joined them near the foot of the stairs. "Have a nice Easter?" I hadn't seen many students since before the holidays, seeing as I had spent the majority of the holidays with Snape in the dungeons.

"Not bad," Fred answered, grinning. I followed them into an empty corridor leading to the ground floor classrooms.

George took out his wand and cast a spell that would deter people from coming in our direction, while Fred cast another spell to block eavesdroppers.

"Our research is going well," said Fred. He gave me a knowing look.

I smiled. Obviously, I didn't need to ask them how much experimenting they had done since Snape's detentions. I had never mentioned my knowledge of their detentions to Snape, nor the fact that the twins had deduced that Snape had been helping them with their research of potions ingredients.

"I'm glad," I said.

"Well, we just wanted to give you your Easter present." George held out a small brightly coloured paper bag.

Confused, I took the bag from him. "Easter present?"

"Well, sort of. It's kind of an Easter present for you and a thankyou present for Snape," George explained.

I raised my eyebrows. "A _thankyou_ present for Snape?"

They nodded solemnly.

"Those detentions we had with Snape were the best thing we could have done for our business," said Fred. "Seriously. We found out all sorts of stuff, and it allowed us to perfect a whole range of products we'd been having trouble with."

"But Snape wouldn't want to be acknowledged for it," I said hastily. "He wouldn't admit to helping you, would he? As far as those detentions go, you had to copy out ingredients, and you served them with Filch. That's all he would admit to."

"Yeah, we know." George looked amused. "It's a thankyou present for him, but we're giving it to _you_."

"So…he's not supposed to know about it then?" This was strange.

"Exactly," said Fred. "Instead of sending your brother an anonymous thankyou bouquet, we decided to give _you_ something."

I shook my head. "So, basically he'll never know that he's been thanked?"

"Well, hopefully he'll never have to know," said George quietly, looking serious. "You'll understand when you open the present. Some of the things in that bag are older products, but we included them for fun anyway."

"Don't open them here," Fred went on. "Hide them in your robes and open them later."

I nodded. "Well, thankyou in advance then."

"No problem," they said in unison. "Some of the things in there are only there because of your brother's help."

"Giving them to you is the least we can do in our thanks," Fred added, as we walked back towards the Entrance Hall.

We parted at the stairs and I made my way down to the dungeons.

Snape still wasn't back. I got ready for bed and then decided to explore the contents of the gift bag. I went into my bedroom, being sure to close my door. My brother would never come into my room when the door was closed. If I heard him come home, I would have time to hide the gift.

I got into bed and opened the bag. I pulled out three Skiving Snackboxes. I had never used the one the twins had given me ages ago. There was also something called a Ton-Tongue Toffee, which apparently made the eater's tongue swell up to four feet in length. If only I could slip Father one of those…

I laughed as I read the label on something called a Canary Cream. I didn't fancy turning into a canary, even if it was for a limited amount of time. I really liked the fake wand though, which turned into a rubber chicken. I had the feeling that Docky would find it funny. I was certain that Snape would only sneer and deliver a well-timed scathing remark.

There was something in a small grey pod called Knockout Powder. According to the label, to activate it, I had to break the seal on the pod, and then drop it. This would cause some sort of yellow vapour to appear, which, if inhaled, would knock out anyone within a couple of metres. I had the strong impression that this product had been designed _after _Snape's detentions. It was quite serious magic for Fred and George. The product came with a small packet of very innocent looking gum. Chewing on it would save one from being knocked out, thus allowing the attacker to be near the victim. Fred and George had attached a small note to it.

_These are great for hiding in the hems of robes or skirts. We gave one to Ginny, and she has been carrying it around in the hem of her skirt. We keep them in the hems of our sleeves. Just a recommendation. Gred and Forge. _

Smiling, I went over to the closet and found my school skirt. Placing it in the hem of the skirt, I prayed that it was held together by a strong seal.

I returned to the bed and took out the last of the products. There were Fainting Fancies, Blood Blisterpods. Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat and Puking Pastilles. If I hadn't been Snape's sister, these would have come in handy. If I faked an illness in class, my brother would hear about it and would no doubt go to any means to find out the cause of it.

I was concealing the gift bag in the closet when I heard the front door open and close. Snape was home.

I was just getting back into bed when he knocked on my door.

"Come in."

The door opened and a disgruntled looking Snape came in, his black robes billowing out behind him.

"How was it?" I asked, as he came to a stop at the foot of the bed.

"A typical Umbridge meeting," he answered, sneering. "She insisted that it be held in her office, and as a result, I've spent the last two hours in a room with pictures of _frolicking kittens_." He looked revolted, and I did my best to hide my amusement.

"Did you spend the evening in Ravenclaw Tower?" he asked, folding his arms.

I nodded. "Yeah. All the fifth-years are talking of nothing but Careers Advice."

He didn't look surprised. "Well I must say that hearing the career choices of the fifth-year Slytherins this week will be my highlight." He rolled his eyes. "I _detest _Careers Advice Week."

I was suddenly curious about the Slytherins. "What career is most popular with the Slytherins?"

Snape smirked as he came to sit down on the bed. "I can't see into your head right now, but I imagine it's got a picture of a pamphlet saying _So, you want to be a Death Eater_."

I shook my head. "There's nothing of the sort like that," I said indignantly. "I'm not stereotyping. I'm just interested."

"Indeed," he said dryly. "Well, it's hard to say what the most popular career choice is. I _can_ tell you what the _least _popular choice is."

"Muggle Relations?" I guessed.

He nodded. "Quite obvious."

I frowned. "So, you've never had one student mention a career concerned with muggles?"

Snape frowned, obviously thinking of all the students he'd interviewed over the years. "I did have one student…about six or seven years ago now…who was interested in photography. He mentioned something about being interested in the fact that scenes in muggle photos don't move. Personally, I didn't see why that was so interesting."

I shrugged.

"He also said something else about muggles making moving scenes another way," he went on, frowning slightly. "I think he called it film making."

I nodded. "Making movies."

He raised an eyebrow. "You know about it?"

"Merle had muggle friends," I said quietly. "I've seen a couple of movies."

Snape looked troubled by this, as if he was trying to work out if he should ask more questions or make me swear never to do such a thing again.

"I keep that knowledge to myself, of course," I said, saving him the trouble of saying it himself.

"Good," he said, nodding. "I'd advise that, especially since your social circle has somewhat altered in the past six months."

"So what advice did you give that student?" I asked, genuinely interested how Snape handled a student from a House known for its prejudices against muggle borns and muggles.

"I told him to examine where he saw his life going," Snape replied. "If he saw himself as a potential suitor for a member of a pureblood family, then showing a great deal of interest in muggle photography was _not_ going to do him any favours."

"Was he a pureblood?"

He nodded. "He was, which I believe made his position much more difficult. If he hadn't been a pureblood, he would have been of no use to the pureblood families anyway."

I let out a hollow laugh. "So if we weren't pureblood, Father wouldn't be so obsessive about me getting married?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "No, he would probably be a chauvinist either way. He'd still be keen for you to marry into more money at any rate."

I suddenly wanted to ask him something, but I thought he might consider it too personal a question. It was something I could ask Mother, but I didn't want to go behind my brother's back to ask.

"What is it?" he said, showing the faintest hint of a smile. "You've got that pained look on your face."

"You don't have to answer-"

"Get on with it-" he scoffed, waving a hand aside.

I got straight to the point. "Did Father ever plan to have anyone…for you?"

I knew Snape had gotten my point right away. His dark eyes glittered as he looked away.

"Yes," he said simply. "Of course he did. I was _his_ heir, and he believed that I should also have an heir. But as to _who_ he planned…I honestly don't know. His plan was that I was to spend several years as a Death Eater first."

"_Would_ you have gotten married though?" I asked softly. I knew that Snape hadn't _wanted_ to get married, but that was different to being expected to.

He looked back at me, his expression unreadable. When he spoke, I could tell he was being careful with what words he used.

"I cannot give a definite answer to that," he said quietly. "It would have depended on the circumstances. Sometimes…certain situations and…_expectations_…get in the way of things."

The strained expression on his face gave me a strong impression that he was_ not_ comfortable with this topic. His expression was almost pained, and I was reminded of a conversation I had had with him about two months before, when he had revealed that Harry Potter was next in line after me to inherit the Merrigan Estate.

_"What was Harry's mother like?" _

_Snape flinched, clearly not expecting such a question. "Lily?" he said, his eyes glittering. _

_I nodded. I was surprised that Snape had called her by her first name. He shifted slightly, as if he couldn't get comfortable, but his face resumed its usual expression of indifference. _

_"She was-" He stopped, rubbing his arm absent-mindedly again. He was silent for a moment. "She was a muggle-born," he said finally. "Very clever…and-" he paused again, looking in front of him. "'There's really not much to say"' he said flatly. _

And as I had recalled then, Father had also given me the impression that my brother had once admired another even earlier than that.

_"I'm sure even Severus might have had an eye for those lesser than his position as a pureblood wizard." _

If there had been something at one stage between Lily and my brother, I knew he wasn't about to tell me so, and the uncomfortable look on his face was enough for me to move away from the subject of marriage.

"I'm not going to see Professor Flitwick for Careers Advice," I told him.

He nodded. "That's alright. I don't think you need to. The less your career is spoken of, the better." At my change in topic, his face had at once become more relaxed.

"Lisa and Terry asked what I want to do," I continued, "but I told them I didn't know." I felt bad not being honest with them. It seemed strange that they knew of Snape teaching me defence skills, but not of my career.

"Don't feel bad about that," he said briskly, knowing exactly what I was thinking. "And what do they want to do?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but paused hesitantly. "You won't use it against them?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Would _I_ do that?" he drawled.

"Yes."

"Fine," he said, looking slightly amused. "I promise to think of other things to taunt them with."

I glared at him. "Terry wants to be a Healer."

He nodded. "He'll make it as a Healer, as long as Miss Turpin doesn't distract him from his studies."

"Unlikely," I said. "Lisa's more studious than Terry."

"I'll permit you to be friends with her as long as she doesn't start memorising textbooks like a certain Gryffindor know-it-all," he said snidely, his eyes narrowed.

"There's nothing wrong with Hermione," I said defensively.

"We'll agree to disagree on that one," he said, looking irritated at the thought of Hermione Granger. "Well then, what is Miss Turpin aspiring to be?"

"She's not entirely sure," I answered. "But she's interested in being self-employed…running her own business or something."

He smirked. "I'm not surprised."

I stared at him. "You're not?"

He shook his head. "Miss Turpin wouldn't survive if she wasn't her own boss."

I smiled. Lisa _did_ like to be in control of everything. It seemed Snape took more notice of his students' temperaments than he let on.

o o o o o o o o o o o

The first day back in classes turned out to not only be a busy one, but a tremendously exciting one. Teachers piled ridiculous amounts of homework upon the fifth years, and all day long I heard sighs of frustration and groans from other fifth year students, all of whom were at a loss as to how they would get it all done in time.

"The way we're going, we're going to be dead before our OWLs start," Terry complained as we made our way towards the Great Hall after classes on Monday afternoon.

We heard a sudden loud noise on the floor above us, followed by a number of shouts and screams.

"What was that?" Lisa exclaimed, staring at the ceiling.

"Dunno," said Terry, looking around him. The students in the same corridor had also stopped at the noise. "Maybe someone performed a bad transfiguration in McGonagall's class. Why-"

He was interrupted by another series of shouts, as well the sound of many feet moving quickly above us.

"Shall we go and see?" said Terry.

I shook my head. "I'm staying away from any chaos." God, I _was_ becoming paranoid. I didn't want to be linked to anything. I was terrified of the smallest thing reaching Father.

We continued on our way, further away from the noise, and entered the Great Hall for a snack. We had only been in the hall for a few minutes when we heard a number of loud noises again. And they were getting closer now…

After listening to a great deal of shouting and hurried movement, we got up from the table, along with many other students, and stood in the entrance way, peering out into the Great Hall.

There were quite a few students here and there, some covered in some sort of substance and looking quite perturbed. Another minute went by, and the amount of students in the Entrance Hall more than tripled. I spotted a few teachers in the crowd as well. With everyone standing around, a great ring had been formed. I noticed with dismay that quite a few members of the Inquisitorial Squad were standing towards the front of the crowd, wearing expressions of unmistakeable smugness. It seemed like most of the school was there. The rest must have been upstairs with the noise.

The sound from above became louder and louder until finally, many feet came thundering the marble staircase. We all looked up to see more members of the Inquisitorial Squad racing down the stairs, hot on the tails of two very well known redheads. Fred and George Weasley.

I groaned. What had they done now?

The twins came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the Entrance Hall, realising that they had no where to run to. Peeves came floating down the staircase, cackling merrily about 'swampies' and he floated above Fred and George as the remaining members of the Inquisitorial Squad came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs.

I looked up at the sound of heavy panting and hurried footsteps, and a moment later, Umbridge appeared at the top of the stairs. As she took in the scene before her, her face very visibly lit up with glee. She moved down a few steps.

"So!" she said, looking ecstatic. "So – you think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"

Terry sniggered, and Lisa poked him in the elbow. "I wish we'd gone to see now," he whispered.

"Pretty amusing, yeah," said Fred.

I was delighted that Fred gave his answer with an air of little concern for the Headmistress.

Filch suddenly appeared, also looking overjoyed, and he made his way over to Umbridge.

"I've got the form, Headmistress," he said. He waved a bit of parchment around.

"Form?" Lisa whispered, standing on tiptoe to see. "What for?"

"I've got the form," he continued, "and I've got the whips waiting…oh, let me do it now…"

"_Whips_?" said Terry, looking incredulous.

"Who do they think they are?" demanded Mandy Brocklehurst, who was standing in front of us.

"Ministry-loving baboons," Anthony Goldstein muttered, shaking his head.

"Very good, Argus," simpered Umbridge. "You two," she said, addressing the Weasley twins, "are about to learn what happens to wrong doers in my school."

"You know what?" said Fred. "I don't think we are."

"Jolly good!" whispered a seventh year Gryffindor near us.

Fred turned to George. "George," he said, "I think we have outgrown full-time education."

"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," his twin replied, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" asked Fred.

"Definitely."

"Oh God…" Lisa whispered, as the twins raised their wands.

"_Accio brooms_!"

Off in the distance, we heard a loud crash. We looked up to see a number of students on the landing duck in time to allow two brooms to zoom over them. One had a chain with an iron peg attached to it.

"Gryffindors," murmured Terry, shaking his head. "They haven't thought about this."

"I don't think there _was_ time for thought," I whispered back, my heart pounding.

"We won't be seeing you," Fred announced to the Headmistress, mounting his broom.

"Yeah, don't try to keep in touch," George added, also getting on his broom.

Fred observed the crowd. "If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley – Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes; Our new premises!"

"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," George added, pointing at Professor Umbridge.

Many students around us laughed nervously.

"STOP THEM!" Umbridge screamed. The Inquisitorial Squad moved in, but Fred and George flew high into the air before they could do anything.

"Give her hell from us, Peeves," called Fred.

I held my breath as the twins zoomed out of the front doors to the applause of the students.

"Look at Peeves," Lisa hissed, pointing.

I looked up to see Peeves saluting the twins, and then I couldn't help it; I smiled along with the students around me.

o o o o o o o o o o

I went down to the dungeons after dinner to borrow a book I needed for my Arithmancy homework. Snape had a great selection of books in the sitting room.

He looked up from his position at the table as I came in. He had several piles of parchment in front of him, and I assumed he was marking holiday homework.

"Evening," he said, reaching for another parchment. "Did you happen to witness the flight of the Weasley twins earlier?"

"Yes, did you?"

He nodded, sneering slightly. "A rather _Gryffindor _escape, I must say."

"They're better off, I suppose," I said, walking over to the many bookshelves.

"Certainly," he replied, crossing out something on the parchment with red ink. "A joke shop. Will wonders never cease?"

"They might end up creating things more important than jokes," I pointed out. "They're clever enough."

"How do _you_ know that?" he said, giving me a sharp look.

"I've seen their products around," I answered. "They might be jokes, but they're clever ones."

"Mm," was all the reply I received. Snape paused to write what I supposed was a scathing comment on the parchment. I wasn't about to let him know that I knew of the twins' detentions. Not yet, anyway.

I turned to look for the book I wanted.

"What are you looking for?" my brother asked a couple of seconds later.

"That book I was using last week for Arithmancy," I murmured.

"It's on the shelf directly above you, on the right hand side."

Spotting the familiar black cover, I reached up and took it down.

I took it with me into my bedroom so I could leave it in my closet. That way, I could retrieve it from the closet in my dormitory. I didn't want to walk around the school with it.

After spending a few minutes with Morag, who was sporting a fluffy lilac look today, I returned to the sitting room to say goodnight to Snape before I went back upstairs.

"Sit down, Armilla," he said, as I came towards the table.

Sitting down on the chair nearest him, I waited silently for him to speak.

He finished writing his sentence on someone's homework before pushing the parchment away. He met my gaze, his face serious.

"I am not sure if you will like what I am about to say, but I have come to a decision all the same."

I said nothing, waiting for him to continue. What would he have to say that I wouldn't like?

"You currently spend Tuesday and Friday evenings, and Sunday afternoons and nights here in the dungeons," he said, watching me closely. "It is not my wish to take you away from your friends, Armilla, but I would like you to spend the other weeknights down here too until after your OWL exams take place. You can spend Saturday nights in Ravenclaw Tower with your friends."

He paused, as if waiting for my argument to come. When I said nothing, he continued. "Obviously you understand how important your results are, especially to Father?"

I nodded. "I feel like I'm working just to avoid Father's wrath."

Snape looked thoughtful. "In a way, you are," he said quietly. "The last thing I want is for you to feel like you are under tremendous pressure. My asking you to spend more time down here may feel like I am putting pressure on you, but believe me, I am striving to do the opposite."

I nodded again. "I know." I would miss seeing my friends as often, but they would be studying hard in the evenings anyway. It was more likely that I would get more revision done in the dungeons. Besides, the ultimate goal at the moment was to get good enough results to survive the summer.

"My plan," Snape went on, "is to increase the amount of time we spend revising together. We will do it two to three times a week instead of just on Tuesdays. We will still duel when we can, and of course, visit Mother. What do you think?"

I knew he was right, as much as I would miss Ravenclaw Tower. I did love spending time in the dungeons with Snape, but it was hard to think of spending all that extra time there without feeling pressure.

"I'm okay with it," I said finally. "I can't help feeling pressure though."

"I thought you would say that," he said quietly. "I admit it's a fair thing to say." He looked at me seriously. "But you know I am here to alleviate that pressure, not add to it." He suddenly looked stern. "You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes," I answered, nodding. "I do know that."

"Very well," he said, pulling another piece of homework towards him. "You can return to Ravenclaw Tower tonight, and I will see you tomorrow."

"Okay." I got up and made by way to the door. Before I opened it, I turned around.

"Severus?"

"Mm?" He didn't look up from his marking.

"Would the Ministry really let Filch use whips?"

He smirked as he looked up.

"_You_ should not be worried about something like that. I would think you stay out of trouble, Armilla."

"Even so," I said. What was the wizarding world coming to if this _was_ the case?

"The moment I hear _Argus Filch_ has used a whip, Armilla," he said, his lip curling, "I will put forward my request to have disobedient students sample Longbottom's potions."


	66. Peace and Happiness

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 65

Within hours of the Weasley twins' departure, chaos had ensued. It seemed that a large number of the students had viewed the departure of Fred and George as a signal to change the atmosphere in the school. In an effort to live up to the twins' high standard of prank-pulling, many students had taken it upon themselves to become masters or mistresses of mayhem.

If there had been little respect for Umbridge the evening before, it had vanished completely after the student enrolment had suddenly dropped by two.

All through the night, more fireworks had been set off, little explosions had gone off in various hallways, and it seemed that Umbridge and Filch had been the only ones called upon to deal with trouble. Indeed, even the strictest, most rule-abiding teachers of Hogwarts, including my brother, the Formidable Head of Slytherin, hadn't considered offering help to Umbridge. It was quite clear that the Headmistress was alone in this, unless you counted the whip-brandishing caretaker Filch.

"That's unfortunate," was all Snape had said on Tuesday morning, when a whizzing Catherine Wheel had passed us in a dungeon corridor. He hadn't bothered to give it another glance.

Filch certainly had his whip out, but I had yet to see him use it. All day long, people were causing destruction in the corridors, and Filch didn't know which way to turn.

Umbridge also had her hands full. It seemed that Fred and George's Skiving Snackboxes had suddenly come in handy, for many students were able to skip Defence on account of their sudden illnesses. By the end of classes on Tuesday, there was a rumour going around that Umbridge had been putting entire classes in detention.

I had spent the last two periods in the Ravenclaw common room, seeing as I had free periods then. As I made my way down to the dungeons to meet Snape, I realised that I should have allowed more time.

The corridors seemed a lot more crowded than usual. People were milling about with Bubble-Head charms cast upon themselves, laughing as other students became the victims of Stink Pellets or Dungbombs. Three times I had to stop an take a different route, because the corridor I was in was too crowded or because I had spotted the top of Filch's head amongst students, as well as the screech of Umbridge's angry voice. There were some corridors that I skipped altogether because the smell coming from them was too much to tolerate.

I spotted members of the Inquisitorial Squad dashing here and there, doing their best to catch the students responsible for the pranks. The problem was, there were too many miscreants now. Fred and George had left open an honourable position (in the eyes of many) to fill, and it seemed there were a high number of applicants, all keen to prove themselves.

I had nearly made it to the marble staircase when someone stepped in front of me, stopping me from descending them.

"Hello Draco," I said resignedly, nodding at the pointed-faced boy in front of me. Malfoy's usually slicked-back blond hair was slightly dishevelled. "Caught anyone yet?"

Malfoy smirked. "Oh I caught the person I was looking for," he simpered, rocking back and forth on his feet.

You haven't caught me, you evil little poodle. You never will catch me, you conniving little- My pleasant thoughts were interrupted as Malfoy continued, his expression nothing short of smug.

"How are you, Armilla?"

"Fine, thankyou, and you?"

"Oh, very well, thanks," he replied, the smugness never leaving his face. "In fact, I would say that I'm better now than I have been for quite some time."

My heart must have skipped a beat. Why would he have said something like that?

"Yeah?" I said airily. "Even with exams coming up?"

He waved a hand aside. "Oh, I'm pretty confident about the exams. I'm in a good mood because I'm feeling…well…rather _optimistic _about things."

I raised an eyebrow as I occluded madly. "Oh?"

"Yes," he said, nodding. "You know, you get good news from home, and then you feel as if nothing could deter you from appreciating what life has to offer you."

I stared at him, trying to work out if the boy had been hexed or something. He sounded strange. At my look, he simply laughed.

"Why, I'm sure even _you_, Armilla, who refused me once before, would consider going out with me."

I sighed. Relentless fool. "I've already said that I'm not going out with you, Draco."

His satisfied expression didn't budge. "And that's _your _decision, is it?"

Before I could open my mouth to retort, he swaggered off, leaving me to ponder the meaning behind his words.

I must have stood at the top of the stairs for over a minute, just thinking about what he had said. In the end, I shook myself out of my reverie, and descended the stairs.

"You're late," said Snape, striding out of his lab as I entered the sitting room. He folded his arms and fixed me with a stern expression. "You were supposed to be down here fifteen minutes ago."

"I know." My mind was still preoccupied with Draco Malfoy, and that was never a good thing.

"And your excuse would be…?" He raised an eyebrow.

"A combination of people wreaking havoc in the corridors, avoiding the Inquisitorial Squad, avoiding Umbridge, avoiding Filch, and having to talk to Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" he said sharply, striding over to me. "What did he want?"

I related the whole conversation to my brother, grateful for the opportunity to seek his opinion.

"So what does he mean by it?" I asked, as I followed Snape over to the table. "Do you think he's bluffing?"

Snape shook his head as we sat down. He took out his wand and conjured up some tea.

"Draco Malfoy isn't known for bluffing," he said quietly, pouring me tea. "Nor is he able to keep everything to himself. If something exciting happens, he likes to boast about the role he played, or if something is going to happen, he loves to drop hints about what is to come." He shook his head scornfully as he passed my tea to me. "He's like a five-year-old at times."

"So something is happening then?" I asked, feeling worried. "Why would he say, _that's your decision, is it_?"

Snape looked thoughtful. "He obviously thinks something has changed in regards to dating you." He shook his head again. "I would advise you not to think on it, Armilla. I shall investigate the situation myself."

I nodded, still feeling worried. "If you know nothing of it, Father must know."

Again, Snape shook his head. "I don't know. I spoke to Father quite recently, and he seemed adamant that you concentrate on nothing but your studies. He said very specifically that boys are out of the question for the time being."

I gave a hollow laugh. "Well, that's out of character for him. Usually all he wants to know about besides studying is my male acquaintance."

Snape said nothing for a few moments, instead opting to drink his tea.

"As I said," he said finally, placing his cup back on its saucer. "I'll look into it, and I will let you know. In the meantime," he paused to give me a stern look, "you are not to spend time thinking about it, Armilla. It would be time wasted."

I nodded. "I'll try, but it's a little hard not to."

Again, he said nothing. His silence made me wonder if he was actually quite concerned about Malfoy's comment. In the end, he simply changed the subject.

"Miss Parkinson sprouted antlers shortly after lunch today," he said in a tone of one merely commenting on the weather.

"That's unfortunate," I said evenly, repeating the same comment Snape had used that morning for the Catherine Wheel.

He gave me a dour look. I knew he was thinking of a few months earlier, when Pansy's curse had backfired, causing her to grow a flipper.

I held up my hands. "I had nothing to do with this one. I told you last time that I had nothing to do with the flipper. I don't do flippers and I don't do antlers."

Snape tried to renew his stern expression, but failed as I saw the hint of a smile come through.

"You don't really think it was me, do you?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. It seemed a running gag between us now that anything to do with Pansy being hexed was somehow linked to me.

"No," he said. "There are so many students running around the school hexing each other that it is almost impossible to point the finger."

"Actually, most students are trying to hex the Inquisitorial Squad," I pointed out. "Or anyone in league with Umbridge."

"I would not normally condone such behaviour," he said, smirking slightly, "but really, I am inclined to sit back and let Umbridge suffer."

"What about your Slytherins in the Inquisitorial Squad?" I asked. Surely, he had a responsibility for his students from his House being hexed.

He raised an eyebrow. "I would have thought that members of such a group were trained to deal with situations like the present one. If my own students were being hexed, of course I would step in. But the Inquisitorial Squad students answer to Umbridge whilst on duty. If they are being hexed in the halls whilst on duty, then they must report to Umbridge, not me."

I smiled. "That sounds logical."

He inclined his head. "My mother _was_ a Ravenclaw," he pointed out.

"How is Pansy?" I asked politely.

'How-' Snape looked suspiciously at me. "Are you really asking after the health of a Slytherin, and _Pansy Parkinson_ at that?"

I nodded.

"Armilla, are you feeling alright?" He was regrading me with a sceptical expression.

"Yes, thankyou," I answered. "Pansy Parkinson feeling okay means a great deal to me. I'm counting on her distracting Malfoy enough so that he'll forget about me."

He snorted. "That's a very Slytherin comment, Armilla."

I shrugged. "It's the truth though."

This time he didn't hold back his smile. "You would have made a good Slytherin."

o o o o o o o o o o

I took Snape's advice over the following weeks and did my utmost to keep Malfoy's comment from my mind. I didn't see a lot of him, mainly because the majority of my spare time was spent in the dungeons with Snape. I only really saw him in some of my classes, or else in the Great Hall. Each time we made eye contact, he would give me a self-satisfied smile, and I looked away in order to stop myself pulling a face at the twit. I tried not to worry myself about Malfoy's sudden boost in confidence. When he had asked me out, he had not seemed as cocky as he did now.

Snape had spoken to Father about Malfoy's comment. He reported back to me that Father hadn't seemed interested in discussing the topic, and had put it off as a school boy boasting about nothing. When Snape had pushed the subject, he had become angry and had told my brother to "forget about the Malfoys and concentrate on your sister's studying." Snape had also spoken to Lucius Malfoy about it, but Lucius had also laughed it off, saying his son was not about to give up.

I was generally too busy to pay Malfoy too much thought anyway. The OWLs were fast approaching and all my teachers were spending class time reviewing work. Some students had gotten themselves into such a state over studying that they had to report to Madam Pomfrey. Students were comparing timetables and how much time they had allocated to studying, and as a result the majority would still stress over not doing enough.

Terry told me that Lisa was going to bed at eleven, and was getting up at five every morning to study before class time. He only knew that because he was doing the same thing. Many students were staying up well past midnight. Before long, a significant number of fifth years were walking around the castle with dark circles under their eyes, muttering facts about goblin riots and ingredients for potions under their breaths.

I believed it was a part of Snape's plan that I live with him in the dungeons until after the exams were over that he could control when I studied, what time I went to bed, and what time I got up in the morning. He became even stricter over how much I ate, and how regularly I ate. He was determined that I would not become one of the students having breakdowns in the hallways over forgetting which year Fernando the Great conquered the Goblins of Tubeck.

I had to stop studying at eight-thirty every night. Then we would duel for half an hour so I could keep my shield charm strong. I had no trouble now keeping it up and performing strong hexes at the same time. Though I didn't like being told to put my books away at eight-thirty every night, I did love duelling with my brother. It was never easy, and I believed that Snape put much more effort into duelling me now than he did originally, all those months ago. Though duelling required my mind to be on constant alert, I actually found the half hour of duelling every night quite relaxing, but only because it was with my brother.

I hadn't heard from Father at all in a long time. Snape put this down to Father believing that time I spent reading his letters and then replying to them was time I could have spent studying.

Snape and I visited Mother regularly. It was an often occurrence now that while we would talk, Mother would suddenly become emotional and her image within the ring would fade and then come back again. Each time, the image faded for a little longer, and Mother would have no recollection of anything happening at all. This was another thing to worry about, and another thing that Snape told me _not_ to worry about.

On the night before my first exam, Snape and I went to see Mother. Snape had made me stop studying for my Charms exams the following day, and we went into the Secret Wing together, and walked towards Dumbledore's office.

"Severus?" I said, as we walked through the dim corridors.

"Armilla," he said, looking expectantly at me.

"I want to put effort into my practical Defence against the Dark Arts exam on Thursday, but…I'm not sure if I should."

He looked sharply at me. "That's the exam I expect you'll find the easiest, Armilla. Why on earth would you suggest not putting any effort into it?"

"Because of Coleman," I answered. "When he came to test me at Father's house, Father told to fake everything so he would think that I had no natural ability."

Snape shook his head. "That's different. If you were to do well in your practical exam, it can easily be passed off that you had practised a lot, and didn't feel the stress of an attack, like you supposedly did with Coleman. The practical exam isn't really like a duel, and the things you'll be asked to perform are things you might consider second nature now."

"So I can do my best then?"

He sneered slightly. "No sister of mine would _ever_ be half-hearted in _anything_ related to Defence against the Dark Arts."

We entered Dumbledore's office and sat down in front of the ring. I leaned forward and touched the surface to activate it. Nothing happened. I tried again. This time, Mother's face came into view, but everything was a little hazy.

"There's got to be something wrong with this thing," I said, as Mother's face disappeared as quickly as it had come. "It's got to be running out of magic or something."

Snape said nothing. Instead, he leaned forward and touched the surface himself. The same hazy picture appeared briefly. It took two more attempts on Snape's part before Mother's face came clearly into view – and stayed there.

"It's getting harder to activate this ring, Mother," said Snape quietly, after she had greeted us. "There must be something faulty with the magic."

Mother looked doubtful. "I don't think so, Severus. The ring is full of ancient magic. It couldn't suddenly turn faulty now."

I looked around the room. "Do you think perhaps that the magic within this room has changed since Dumbledore left it? A change could have occurred in the warding spells or something that's interfering with the ring."

Snape looked thoughtful. "That's always a possibility with magical objects that contain weaker magic, but as Mother says, if this ring is full of powerful ancient magic then nothing should interfere with it."

Mother looked troubled. "We didn't…there wasn't a lot of time…I don't-" she broke of, biting her lip.

Snape sneered. "Thankyou. Very eloquent."

I ignored him. "You planned it all with Emiliana McGonagall, didn't you?"

Mother nodded. "She was my Secret Keeper when I moved into that muggle area when I was pregnant with you, Armilla. The ring had been in the Merrigan vault at Gringotts for years. I sent Emiliana to retrieve it when we became worried that I might be killed. I didn't…" she broke off again, and tears came into her eyes.

Snape's face darkened. "_Research_ it?" he said, very articulately.

Mother glared at him. "Of course I researched it, Severus! I'm not stupid! I found out all I needed to know about the ring…I knew the risks…"

"Yes," he snapped, his lip curling, "that if we had never found you, you would have remained in the ring indefinitely, Mother." He shook his head. "What a risk to take."

"As I have told you more than once, Severus," said Mother in a clipped tone, "I do not regret it."

"But are you trying to say that maybe the ring has some properties that you don't know about?" I asked, trying to avoid conflict between the two. "It was so rushed that you didn't find out _everything_ about it?"

After a long pause, Mother finally nodded. "It had been in the family for a long time, so I knew plenty about it…but I had never paid it a great deal of attention until I entertained the thought of using it. It could have some properties that I am not aware of."

Snape let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

"I was so determined to make sure my daughter would be alright!" Mother exclaimed, her eyes wide as she looked intently at her son. "Had you been the same situation, I am sure you would have done the same, Severus."

He opened his eyes, but said nothing. He stared at his interlaced fingers in his lap, apparently lost in thought.

Mother's face faded for a couple of seconds. As usual, when she was clear again, she had no idea that her face had just momentarily vanished.

"So…this weird thing the ring is doing," I said quietly, "it could be some property of the ring that hasn't made itself known up until now?"

Mother nodded. "I suppose so."

I shook my head. "Your spirit's been stuck in there for such a long time though; it's a bit strange for a new property to come to light _now_."

"Yes, exactly," said Snape suddenly, looking up.

"What are you thinking, Severus?" asked Mother, frowning slightly.

He shook his head. "I have so many thoughts about this that it is impossible to put them together into a coherent sentence."

Mother looked worried. "But I feel nothing when it happens…it's so very strange…what if I fade completely? I won't be able to warn you because I won't be aware that it is happening." She bit her lip again.

Snape and I were both silent. That was certainly a possibility. I didn't want to walk in one day to find that the ring couldn't be activated at all.

"I am reluctant to carry out magical tests on the ring in case it interferes with the already temperamental magic within the ring," said Snape a moment later, after Mother let out a small whimper.

Mother nodded. "Yes…yes, you are right, Severus. It would be foolish. I took the risk all those years ago, and now I must bear whatever happens."

Snape looked uncomfortable. "Mother, if I could do something…you know that I _would_."

Mother gave a small smile as she gazed lovingly up at her son. "Yes. Yes, I know, Severus."

We all looked in separate directions. It was really a difficult situation, and as all three of us absolutely loathed not being in control of any given situation, the problem with the ring was very stressful.

"Well," said Mother finally. "You are all ready for your exams, Armilla?"

Grateful for the change of subject, I was quick to answer. "I think so."

"I have stopped her study for tonight," my brother added. "She's been at it all day."

Mother nodded approvingly. "Good. I am glad you're here to make sure she takes breaks, Severus. And how are your fifth year Slytherins faring? Have many of them ended up in the hospital wing over stress?"

He sneered. "Just a couple. Not as many as the Hufflepuffs, I assure you."

I smiled. "Well, it's not just the _fifth_ year Slytherins who ended up in the hospital wing over stress."

Mother smiled too. "Oh?"

"No. There were many stressed Slytherins about after the last Quidditch match, and they didn't even play. It was Ravenclaw and Gryffindor."

Snape turned to glare at me.

Mother laughed. "Didn't win the Quidditch cup, Severus?"

He merely grunted in reply.

Happily distracted from her troubles surrounding the ring, Mother's eyes shined as she gazed up at Snape. "And who won the game, dear?"

He sneered. "Not _Ravenclaw_." He turned to me. "When was the last time Ravenclaw won the Quidditch cup, Armilla?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Ah, who cares?" said Mother airily. "Ravenclaws would rather be known for academic superiority rather than sporty competitiveness."

Snape snorted.

"So the Gryffindors secured the Quidditch Cup?"

"Yes," I replied. "The Gryffindors rather like Malfoy's _Weasley is our King_ song now."

I had told Mother some time ago (when Snape hadn't been with me) about the song the Slytherins had taunted Ron Weasley with. She hadn't been at all impressed by it.

She shook her head. "I still think the song is ridiculous, whether the Gryffindors like it or not now," she said. She frowned at Snape. "And quite frankly, I am appalled that you allowed the Slytherins to do it, Severus. As their Head of House, you should know better."

Snape looked indifferent to Mother's admonishment. "House rivalry," he said dismissively. "The Gryffindors possess an astonishing degree of egotism; the song would have bounced off them."

Mother glared at him. "Well, I am sure that poor Weasley boy took it to heart. Good on him for winning in the end."

Snape made no further comment. Instead he spared Mother an apathetic glance before looking away.

"And you have an exam on every day this week, Armilla?" Mother asked.

I nodded. "At least one each day."

She shook her head. "You poor thing; an exam on your birthday. What subject do you have?"

"Herbology." It was just my luck that my birthday was during the first exam week. I was turning sixteen on Wednesday, June 10th. I would barely be able to acknowledge my birthday as it passed because of all the studying I would be doing.

Mother looked at Snape. "I know Armilla has to study, Severus, but make sure her birthday doesn't pass without some sort of acknowledgement."

He raised an eyebrow. "Would you like me to stick a candle in a cupcake for dessert?"

She glared at him. "Severus!"

"Oh alright," he said dryly, looking bored. "Two candles."

o o o o o o o o o o

The next morning came rather too soon for my liking. There were two exams on that day – theory and practical Charms. As Charms was one of my best subjects, I wasn't too worried. I was not looking forward to Astronomy or History of Magic. The butterflies I felt were probably more to do with nerves and anticipation, not to mention my father's face in the back of my mind.

"Wish me luck," I muttered to Morag, as I got ready to go up to the Great Hall with Snape for breakfast.

Morag looked like she had been tie-dyed that morning. She was a mixture of different shades of blue, with bits of silver here and there. I supposed she was trying to show her support of Ravenclaw. She hooted in reply, and fluttered her wings.

"Morning," said Snape, as I joined him in the sitting room. "How do you feel?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

He smiled. "Then I'd say you're feeling just like most of the fifth years this morning. Come."

We left our quarters and made our way up to the Great Hall. When we were near the entrance, Snape stopped and turned to me.

"I daresay you won't need it, but good luck."

"Thanks." I was feeling more nervous now. "I might need it."

Snape looked at me closely. "Don't let the atmosphere created by the examiners or the other students overwhelm you," he said quietly. "I give you my permission to occlude."

I nodded. "I think I will."

"I will see you at dinner then," he said. "Come down to the dungeons for dinner."

"Alright."

He nodded, then turned and swept off to bully a bunch of third year Gryffindors who were being noisy just inside the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Hi," I said, sitting down next to Lisa at the Ravenclaw table about thirty seconds later.

"Hey, Mill," Terry murmured, as he turned a page in his Charms textbook.

Lisa didn't answer at all. She was too busy muttering incantations to herself, her eyes shut tightly. The other fifth years were also doing similar things, or else were staring ahead with pained expressions, as if trying to recall information that their lives depended upon.

I poured myself some coffee and tried to eat what Snape would deem 'a sufficient amount of breakfast'. I didn't come close to succeeding.

After breakfast, we hung around in the Entrance Hall with the seventh years as the rest of the students moved off to their classes.

At half past nine, we forwarded into the Great Hall. The house tables had been taken away, and there were many rows of desks, all facing the staff table.

As I sat down, I began to occlude. I pushed away all my nerves, and most importantly, all thoughts of my father. I had to do well in this exam. I had to do well in all of my exams, and I couldn't have any thoughts of my father around to distract me.

It seemed like ages to me before Professor McGonagall finally told us to begin, and turned over a huge hour-glass.

I turned my page over.

_a) Give the incantation and b) describe the wand movement required to make objects fly. _

I let out the breath that I had been holding. I smiled to myself as I began to write. Though the first questions were generally the easier ones, I suddenly had the impression that this was going to be okay.

o o o o o o o o o o

"Well, that wasn't too bad," Terry commented, when we met up in the Entrance Hall after the exam. "One down, way too many to go."

"I think I mixed up a couple of the wand movements," said Lisa, looking a bit flushed "Or maybe I didn't…I don't know…"

"Forget about it," Terry said. "It doesn't matter because you can't change anything now."

"We've got a practical to get ready for this afternoon anyway," I added.

"I'm more nervous about that," Terry muttered. "I'm afraid of forgetting everything because I've been put on the spot."

"You won't," said Lisa affectionately, taking his hand.

After lunch, we were called back into the Great Hall at various intervals, in alphabetical order.

Lisa and I stood together, not saying much. Terry had been one of the first called in, and as he hadn't returned, we had no way of knowing what to expect.

"Here we go," Lisa whispered, after Professor Flitwick called, "Smith, Zachariah – Snape, Armilla – Thomas, Dean – Turpin, Lisa."

We left Ron Weasley and Blaise Zabini, the only two students left, in the chamber we had been waiting in, and made our way into the Great Hall.

I was directed to Professor Marchbanks, a tiny little witch, who was very old, and more than a little deaf in my opinion.

"Ah, Miss Snape," she said loudly, apparently unaware of the unnecessary volume of her voice. "Aurelius Snape's daughter. Good, good."

I kept occluding. It wasn't a great deal of help to be reminded whose daughter I was when I was just about to begin a practical exam.

"Now, Miss Snape," she went on. "Please make this saucer grow to the size of a dinner plate."

I performed the growth charm needed without hesitation.

"Good. Alright, now turn it purple."

Another flick of the wand.

Professor Marchbanks nodded, making notes. "Now levitate it about six feet and maintain it stationary in the air."

I complied, hoping everything was going to remain this simple. Really, after months and months of intense lessons with Snape, this sort of thing was far from hard. Maintaining a dinner plate in the air was a far cry from maintaining a mental duelling shield using Occlumency.

When I was finally allowed to leave, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Day One of exams was over.

"Well?" said Snape, looking up from _The Daily Prophet_ as I entered the sitting room that evening.

"They were both fine." I sank down onto the sofa next to him, rubbing my eyes. Both exams had been a lot better than I had expected. I wasn't about to get overconfident though. I knew the tide would turn for Astronomy and History of Magic.

He smiled. "You looked relieved."

I nodded. "I am."

"Most of the Slytherins thought they were alright. Were your friends satisfied with them?"

I nodded. "They're happy enough, though Lisa's a bit paranoid about mistakes she might have made."

"Who tested you for the practical exam?"

"Professor Marchbanks," I replied.

He sneered. "Ah. Then no doubt everyone else in the room heard what she asked you to do."

I smiled as I nodded. "She's more than a little deaf. I wonder if other people got distracted by her."

Snape looked indifferent. "It's their problem if they did. They should be able to perform charms even if there _are_ distractions." He shook his head disdainfully. "Malfoy has already admitted to me that he might not get the Outstanding he's hoping for because he lost concentration."

"Really?" I said, interested. "What made him lose concentration?"

"The wondrous Boy-Who-Lived," he answered, his lip curling. "When Potter came in for his exam, Tofty made some remark about him being the _Famous Potter_, and it was enough to put Malfoy off what he was supposed to be doing."

"What made Malfoy admit that to you?"

Snape smirked. "I asked him if he believed that he'd secured his Outstanding, which he had been boasting to Lucius that he would get." He shook his head again. "I somehow doubt that a smashed wine glass will maintain an Outstanding. His written work would have to be without flaw."

"Would Father feel better if I received higher marks than Malfoy?" I asked suddenly. If I couldn't get an Outstanding in everything, then perhaps outdoing Malfoy would be the next best thing. But then, would Father approve of me outshining my potential husband?

"You already receive higher marks than Malfoy," he said, frowning slightly, "and I'd say that Lucius is aware of that fact too, not just Father."

I shook my head. "So Father wants me to achieve high marks in everything, but doesn't want me to ever use them for anything…and we'll always pretend that Malfoy's marks were higher?"

"Fathoming Father's mind is a skill in itself, Armilla," he said bitterly, leaning forward to put his newspaper down on the coffee table. "Father keeps everyone at arm's length, so it is virtually impossible to spend enough time with him so that one might be able to say they know him well. Even as his wife, Mother never had access into his thoughts…unless it was through Occlumency I suppose…"

"Does it matter?" I asked quietly. "They never loved each other."

Snape's face was hard to read. "Well," he said, after a moment, "love is a strange thing. Even within the most strained relationship sometimes there could be a small degree of love." He was silent for a moment, contemplating this.

"I don't think Mother ever loved Father," I said softly. While it was true that I didn't know Mother as well as Snape did, and I had never lived as part of the Snape family with both of my parents, from all my talks with Mother I had come to believe that there had never been any love.

"No," he said quietly. "There was something… intimidation was involved…but you're right, I don't ever think there was any real love on her part. He was just the father of her child…well, children now."

I frowned. "And _his_ part?"

"Oh, he loved her, I'm sure," he said without hesitation. "He was just bound up in his understanding that the wife was to be an obedient servant to the husband. It caused him to be abusive and his temper was another thing."

"How do you know he loved her though?" I had wondered before if Father had ever really loved Mother.

"Just little things," he said, his face still hard to read. "Mother's middle name is Ianthe, which means violet flower, and Mother's favourite flowers were violets. Father would leave violets around the house for her."

"He doesn't seem to type to do that sort of thing," I said. That seemed a little romantic to me.

"Well, as I said, no one quite knows how Father's mind works. He kept Mother at arm's length, but he always made sure she had her favourite flowers around her."

"So, it was just the material things then?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Not always. I could also tell from the way he looked at her when he knew she wasn't about to look back at him, like when her back was turned. He didn't feel the need then to remind her that he was in control."

"So Mother never really knew that he loved her underneath?"

He sighed. "I never asked. She might have known. It didn't help that she didn't love him back. But you know he was never the ideal husband."

It seemed like it had been such a complicated relationship. It seemed that Snape had understood as a child what love was, from both Mother and Father. Though, in Father's case, he probably hadn't meant for his son to notice when he was looking lovingly as his wife when her back was turned. From what I could tell, Father hadn't openly shown love to my brother, at least not in the way that Mother had.

"So that's why you're not to marry Draco Malfoy," Snape said suddenly. "Putting aside the whole respectable pureblood alliance thing, I wouldn't want to see you trapped in a marriage like Mother's."

"Do you think Malfoy would be abusive?" I asked.

"In his future, Malfoy only sees himself standing in front," he said quietly, watching me closely. "He doesn't see anyone standing next to him, only behind him. That said, I don't know if he would ever become abusive in the way Father is, but I assure you that _your_ interests would not come first."

"Are his parents like that?" I was suddenly interested in the workings of these pureblood families.

He shook his head. "Well, Lucius and Narcissa are a little different. They do loathe anything muggle and prize blood and money above anything else and-" he paused, sneering, "they're both _exceptionally_ vain, but at the end of the day, they do worship the ground that the other walks on."

I nodded. It was pointless being stereotypical about the Slytherins.

"That said," he went on, "if, God forbid, you were to marry Draco Malfoy, the relationship would be nothing like that of his parents because Narcissa _did_ want to marry Lucius."

"And that makes all the difference," I said quietly.

He inclined his head. "It does."

o o o o o o o o o o

My exams on Tuesday followed pretty much the same format as the day before, except that it was for Transfiguration. I didn't find it as easy as Charms, but I managed to answer all the questions in the written paper, and I made no mistakes that I was aware of in the practical exam.

I was still staying down in the dungeons, which I believed reduced the stress of the exams. I knew all the fifth years Ravenclaws up in the common room were staying up all night to study and some were stressing that they hadn't studied as much as others. I was glad that I wasn't up there to feel the tension between them all.

On Wednesday morning I woke up early, as I always did on my birthday. Once I had sat up and could see clearly, I noticed one of Matilda's owls sitting next to Morag, hooting softly to her. Morag appeared to be listening intently. The owl had a package tied to its leg, apparently in no hurry to deliver it to me.

"When you're finished," I said dryly, watching them hooting at each other.

A few moments later, the conversation apparently over, the owl left Morag and flew over to me. It held out its leg and I relieved it of its heavy burden.

I opened the parchment that had been attached to the top of the package.

_Dear Armilla, _

_Hipy Papy Bthuthdth Thuthda Bthuthdy! _

_I hope your sixteenth birthday is a special one. You will find the enclosed present especially useful for those days when life becomes too stressed or complicated. _

_The second package was left with me with strict instructions to give it to you on your next birthday. I have no idea what is in it. _

_With much love, _

_Matilda _

I laughed when I read birthday greeting. I knew straight away what she had gotten me. I tore off the paper and wasn't surprised to see a limited edition copy of A.A. Milne's _Winnie-The-Pooh_, a classic muggle book. Another wrapped gift with a piece of parchment on top was underneath.

Matilda had plenty of muggle connections, and had excelled in Muggle Studies during her own time at Hogwarts. She had done a lot of Muggle Relations work over the years. When I had been very little, Matilda had often read _Pooh_ stories to me, and I had adored them. I had been especially fond of the donkey named Eeyore, which had come as no surprise to both Matilda and Merle.

I turned to the second, smaller package. I opened the parchment and when I saw the very familiar handwriting, I felt a sharp jolt in my chest.

_3rd October, 1995_

_Dearest Armilla, _

_I didn't want your sixteenth birthday to pass without you receiving what I always intended to give you on this special day. I am passing something on to you, something very special, which I received on my sixteenth birthday (yes, I know, that was a long time ago - I got in and said it first before you did!) from my mother, which she received from her mother and so on. _

_I am writing this letter because I believe that I may be gone before your birthday. I am just too unwell, Armilla, and I know my time is running out. Though you never said as much, I have sensed that you know this too. _

_There is so need to get all soppy and sentimental, but you know that I love you and will love you for all eternity. Just know that I am proud of the person you have grown to be, and I know I would have been proud of the woman you will become. Just remember to let yourself laugh at something everyday, and if you can't find something, never be afraid to have a laugh at yourself – Lord knows I laugh at myself everyday – just this morning I was searching for my glasses everywhere for ten minutes before I realised that I was wearing them. You weren't here to laugh at me. _

_I know it wasn't me who inspired your sense of humour, but I do hope you will always retain your sarcastic side. I know I have told you in the past that at times it can border on rudeness, but your dry and often cynical remarks often return to me when I'm lying in bed at night, and then I will admit to laughing myself to sleep. Honestly, I don't know where you get it from. _

_I pray with all my heart that when you read this, your life will be a happy one. I don't know what family you will be placed with, but I hope they grow to love you as much as I have, and be inspired by you to the extent that I have been. _

_If you ever do find out your true identity, and, as I have told you repeatedly, it is only normal that you would want to know, I hope that you stay true to the person you have grown to be. Whether you are Armilla Kemp or someone else, it is the person who bears the name that everyone sees. _

_It pains me that I will not live long enough to see you graduate from Hogwarts, but know that I am so proud to have raised a Ravenclaw (and I don't care what anyone else says, it IS the best House). Whatever career you decide to pursue, work hard at it, and give everyone in your path the impression that you are irreplaceable. _

_If you marry, be sure that it is for a love so strong that it is indescribable. If you have children, be sure that they grow into people you can be proud of – love them above everything else. _

_Finally, I am sorry that I have to leave you so early in your life. You might feel robbed of the happy things we never got to explore together – know that I feel this way too. But rest assured that I will always be watching – yes, you can't get rid of me that easily! I hope you have someone to go to every time you feel happy, sad, or just when you need someone to talk to. But know that I will still be with you, and draw comfort from the fact that in the short time I spent with you, I gave you enough love to last a lifetime. _

_Be strong, be happy, and even though I won't be here, know that I will always be proud of my Armilla. Though heaven can only be a delightful place, I know I will be homesick for you. You have a life full of opportunities ahead of you – do everything in your power to make it a beautiful one. _

_All my love, _

_Merle _

That had not been expected. I had never for a moment entertained the thought that Merle would have done this. She had written the letter less than two weeks before she had died.

My chest still tight, I opened the second package, feeling a slight tingle run through me when the thought that Merle had also wrapped the gift entered my mind.

It was a wooden jewellery box, etched with beautiful floral engravings. On the top, there was a sapphire in each corner, and in the middle there was a perfect engraving of a Raven.

I opened the box and immediately heard the soft tinkle of a melody, as a small statue of Rowena Ravenclaw conducted the music with her wand. It was simply beautiful – and I was happy beyond belief that Merle had put this aside for my birthday.

I held the open box in one hand and I sat staring at the letter in my other hand, but not really seeing it. I did not cry, but I felt a strange sort of feeling. It was not happy, but it was not sad either. As the music continued to play, and the tiny founder of Ravenclaw continued to conduct the music, I just sat and listened, reliving so many times past, including the events that had occurred immediately after Merle's death: Shar's attack, finding Mother, finding Snape was my brother, living with Father.

This little box had been passed through many generations, and had seen many lives, deaths, triumphs and sadness. Yet it still continued to play its melody. The tune would finish and then start again with as much vigour as it had done before. It kind of reminded me of the cycle of life, and I realised what I was feeling. It was peace. Not with the world, or with Father and the custody arrangement, but with Merle's death.

I missed her more than anything, but though I didn't feel a rush of happiness or sadness, I felt a sense of peace as I sat looking at the letter and the box which she had saved especially for me.

After staring at it for a few more moments, I folded the letter and placed it inside the box.

'Where's that music coming from?' a deep voice called from the hallway. The peace I felt moved to happiness, simply from the sound of that voice.

I closed the box, and a moment later Snape strode into the room, clearly intent on finding the source of the very feminine music. At the abrupt stop of the music, he looked momentarily put off.

"I know I wasn't imagining it," he said. "There _was_ music in here."

Morag started a melodic hooting from her place on the other side of the room.

"That's _far_ from music," he drawled, sparing my owl a disdainful look before turning back to me.

He sat down on my bed and leaned over to kiss me.

"Happy Birthday."

"Thankyou," I said, loosening my hold on the jewellery box.

"Well then," he said, looking at the things on my bed. "Where did the music come from?"

"This," I said, looking down at the box. "It's from Merle."

Snape opened his mouth, and then closed it again looking concerned, as if contemplating how to remind me that presents couldn't be received from the dead.

"I didn't explain that well," I said hastily. "I received a present from Matilda, and she enclosed a letter and present from Merle. Merle wrote me a letter not long before she died, but Matilda had been keeping it for her until today."

His face relaxed a little as I explained, but I knew the concern was still there.

"That must have been a surprise for you," he said quietly, watching me closely. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I'm alright. Probably better now…" The truth was, the letter seemed to have done the trick. I had fully accepted her death. Instead of renewing the pain I had felt upon her death, the letter had helped me to finally let go.

"Better?" he repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Just…hearing from her," I murmured, "I mean, I know she wrote the letter ages ago, but…" I broke off, wondering how to word what I felt.

"It's helped to settle everything inside you?" he offered.

I nodded.

He looked at the box in my hands. "May I look at the box?"

I handed it to him, and he examined the outside closely.

"Lucky she had a Ravenclaw to pass it on to," he said. He opened the box and immediately the music began to play. I knew the music was far from Snape's taste, but he said nothing about it. He also said nothing of the closed parchment in the box, which he would have guessed to be Merle's letter.

"I've seen a Slytherin version of this," he said, watching Rowena Ravenclaw conduct.

I laughed. "You mean a mini Salazar Slytherin is conducting music in a jewellery box somewhere?"

He narrowed his eyes as he looked up. "No, he wasn't conducting. The music was slower and there was a snake moving around him."

I shook my head. "Well, I prefer _this_ one then."

"Of course you do," he said dryly, looking back down at the box. A moment later, he closed it again, saying nothing of the letter inside. He handed it back to me. "I'm glad she waited to give this to you," he said. "I daresay it means more to receive it today rather than through her will."

I nodded. "It does."

"What the…" he muttered, reaching for my new book.

He mouthed the title as he held it in front of him.

"Is this a _muggle_ book?" he said, after scrutinizing the picture of a small boy and a bear which was stuck in a hole in the ground.

"Yes," I said simply. "It's from Matilda. I've read it before."

"It's a _children's_ book," he said, sneering at the blurb on the back.

"It's full of things that adults appreciate." I wasn't about to suggest that we read it together. That _would_ be taking things a little too far. I believed that he might confiscate it after just one page.

He turned the book over and looked at the cover again. "Is the title…_Winnie-The-Pooh_…something amusing adults appreciate?" he asked. "If it is, I don't get it, besides the inappropriate terminology, which has been misspelled." He looked thoroughly disgusted by the book.

I tried to hide my amusement. "_Winnie-The-Pooh_ is a bear," I explained. "He was originally called Edward Bear, and the Pooh part came from the name given to a swan by a child. But the swan didn't need the name anymore and so- Oh, never mind." I stopped as Snape's incredulous looked became more pronounced. Well then, I wouldn't bother explaining what Heffalumps were…

"Well then…" he said, handing the book back to me. "Just don't take it to Father's."

"I won't," I said, still trying not to smile.

At that moment, another owl soared into the room, a package hanging off one of its legs. I recognised it at once to be one of Father's owls.

"Oh, how wonderful," Snape sneered, "the old codger remembered."

I reached for my wand and performed the necessary charms to test for hidden hexes. After clearing it of any foul activity, I untied the package and ripped off the parchment attached to it. I read it aloud to my brother.

_Dear Armilla, _

_Many Happy Returns. OWLs aside, I hope today is special for you - I regret not being able to spend it with you. _

_You are now just one year off being of age, but being sixteen is still a special age, and I hope to be able to spend much time with you in the coming year. _

_I have enclosed a gift, which I fervently hope you will cherish. _

_Good luck on your exams. _

_Your loving father _

"Short enough," I commented. "But no where near as threatening as usual."

"He clearly didn't have much to say," Snape responded, looking at the letter. "But at least he did his duty and acknowledged the day."

I unwrapped the gift, and a small silver pocket-watch fell out. The weird thing was, it had no numbers on it. There were just blank spaces where the numbers should have been.

Snape seemed to know what it was though, for as soon as his eyes fell upon it, his face hardened. He looked furious.

"I don't get it," I said, staring at the watch on the blanket in front of me. "It obviously doesn't tell the time."

"No, not in the way a _normal_ watch does," he said, his face full of the utmost contempt. "_This_ watch belonged to Mother, and it was given to her by Father many years ago."

"How does it work?" I asked, intrigued, albeit a little put off by Snape's reaction.

"Well let's put it this way," he said, picking up the watch. "When Father would get up in the morning, he would charm the watch to make certain things appear where the numbers should be. For example, things like _Oversee Jiffy preparing breakfast, Organise meals, Tidy books in library_…"

"A list of chores," I said quietly.

He nodded. "The hand would point to what Father wanted done at the time."

"And Mother's day was planned out according to this?"

He nodded. "Generally, yes. She didn't always stick to it, and she suffered for it on the times when he found out."

My heart dropped.

"Obviously, Father knew I would explain what it was to you," Snape said, looking livid.

I looked up at him, and asked a question that I believed I already knew the answer to.

"Will he be expecting me to abide by this when I stay with him?"

Slowly, Snape nodded. "I would say so," he said quietly. "You memorised all the theory side of being a housewife the last time you were there. I would say that he wants you to practise now."

"But-" I stopped, feeling outraged. I shook my head. There was nothing to say. I had to go and that was it.

Snape reached forward and pulled me into a hug.

"I know," he said quietly. "I _know_."

o o o o o o o o o o

I occluded hard all morning as I sat for my theory Herbology exam. I really needed to after finding out what Father's present had meant.

I ended up having a great lunch though because my friends had organised a little lunch for the three of us in the common room, away from prying eyes. It was only a brief lunch because we had to do last minute study for the practical exam in the afternoon (Terry especially had to be sure how to re-pot a Mandrake). All the same, it was lovely.

Terry and Lisa had bought me a gift together, which was a proper silver watch, nothing like the one Father had given me.

I was absolutely exhausted that evening. Re-potting a Mandrake was only one of many things that I had been asked to do. I had Defence Against the Dark Arts the following day, so I still had some studying to do before bed.

"I don't think you need to do a great deal of studying for tomorrow," Snape said, sitting down on the sofa after we had finished dinner. "And I'm not just saying it because it's your birthday. I know from our revision sessions that you've practically memorised Umbridge's textbook, and we both know you'll be fine in the practical."

"I hope so," I murmured, joining him on the sofa. I hadn't even finished the first week of exams, and yet I felt so worn out. It was probably the tension.

Snape reached into his robes and pulled out a small box wrapped in silver paper. "Happy Birthday," he said softly, handing it to me.

I smiled. "Is this my cupcake?"

He rolled his eyes as he took out his wand. He performed an intricate little wand movement and a moment later there was a pink cupcake in front of us on the coffee table, complete with two burning candles.

I laughed. I would have to tell Mother.

"Well, go on, make a wish then," Snape said, staring fixedly at the cupcake with a strange expression. Personally, I thought he was having a hard time believing that he, Severus Snape, had just conjured up a pink cupcake for his little sister.

I made my wish, knowing fully well that Snape would know what my wish was. Of course, it was something along the lines of a life without Father and the threat of the Dark Lord. Wasn't that a simple wish?

I blew out the candles. "Mother will be thrilled," I said.

He shook his head. "No she won't. She'll complain that I didn't provide you with something more impressive…a pavlova or something."

I turned back to the box in my hand and removed the wrapping paper. It was a small bottle-green velvet covered box. I _knew_ that box. I had held it not long ago in Merle's vault at Gringotts. I took the lid off the box and was stunned at what I saw.

Inside, sitting on white satin padding, were two tiny princess cut diamond earrings. There had only been one earring in the box when Snape and I had been looking at them back in April. I had told Snape the story of the quarrel between Merle and her brother over the earrings, which were worth a fortune, and how Merle's brother had kept the other. It had divided the family.

I couldn't believe it though. There were now_ two _identical earrings in the box.

"How… how did you…," I stuttered, staring from Snape back to the earrings in disbelief.

"Enunciate," he said smoothly, looking slightly amused.

"How did you find the other one?" I said finally, after staring at the earrings for a few moments.

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't find the other one. I didn't even look for it."

"But-" I looked up at my brother. "They're identical though. Are they different ones?"

"Oh, I assure you that one of them is the earring you inherited from Merle," he said. "I believe it is the one on the left."

"How can you tell?"

"I placed Merle's one on the left," he said. "Pick it up and look on the back of it."

A little puzzled, I complied. I turned the earring over and looked at it closely. Because it wasn't a large earring, what I saw could have been easily missed. In the tiniest writing, that would not have been noticed unless directed right to it, I saw three letters engraved.

_MGK _

I smiled down at it. Merle Gladys Kemp.

"I had never noticed that before," I said softly.

"You wouldn't have," said Snape, watching me closely. "I had it put there."

"Then…" If he hadn't obtained the original partner for the earrings, then…

I picked up the other earring and turned it over, searching for a small marking of some sort. Sure enough, I found three letters.

_SJS _

Though I had no idea what the J stood for, I knew it meant my brother. I was so touched.

One of the earrings had been divided from its partner, but now a new earring, a perfect match, had come to join it instead.

"You had the other one made," I said softly. It was such a thoughtful thing to do.

"I did," he replied. "I thought it would mean something to you if you had something that went together that came from both Merle and I. I thought of it when you showed me the single earring back in April." He paused. "Don't think I'm sentimental though," he added as an afterthought. I supposed that quality got in the way of his tough-guy image.

I moved closer to him so that I could kiss him. "Thankyou. It means a lot," I said honestly. "I love them."

"Good," he said.

"I do have a question though," I said, still looking at the earrings.

"Go on then."

"What does the J in your name stand for?"

"That's not important."

"Yes, it is."

"Are you arguing with me?"

"No…but you know _my_ middle name."

"That hardly counts, Armilla. You only received a middle name eight months ago."

"Even so…is it a bad name?"

"You're too persistent for your own good."

"Is it?"

He sighed. "It certainly isn't my favourite name."

"Long or short?"

"You can count the letters on one hand."

"James?"

"Well done," he said dryly. "And how many hints was that?"

I ignored him. "Whose idea was it to give you that name?"

"Mother's," he said bitterly. "Father picked my first name, which was the name of his maternal grandfather, so Mother was allowed to pick a second name."

"Why James?"

"James Merrigan was our great-great-grandfather, and also James Potter's great-great-grandfather. He was admired on both sides of the family for his innovative creations in Potion-making."

"Oh…well that's not such a bad thing then."

He didn't answer; he chose instead to make some sort of "Hmph" sound.

I stifled a yawn.

"Well, we had better go and see Mother before you take a _brief_ look over your notes before bed," Snape said. "She'll want to see you."

"Alright," I said, getting up.

He got up too, and I followed him over to the bookcase that concealed the entry to the Secret Wing.

"Bring your cupcake with you," he instructed, as he took out his wand to perform the charms that would make the bookcase vanish.

I walked back to the coffee table and picked up the little pink cake. "Why?"

He turned back and shot me a mocking look. "Do you _really_ think Mother is going to believe you when you tell her that _I_ conjured a cupcake for you?"

o o o o o o o o

Special Thanks to: A.A Milne's _The Complete Works of Winnie-The-Pooh _


	67. The Things We do for Love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 66

"Happy Birthday, Armilla," Mother said warmly, after Snape had activated the ring. We were sitting in Dumbledore's office, peering down at our mother's face. It had taken several attempts again to activate the ring, but this time Snape declined to comment on it to Mother. "Have you had a nice day?"

"Apart from exams, yes," I replied.

Mother turned to her son. "And did you put aside your thoroughly unexcitable and sarcastic side long enough to make sure Armilla had a nice evening, Severus?"

He sneered. "I will have you know that sarcasm is not something one does for the sake of it. It comes as naturally as breathing, and I happen to enjoy it."

Mother scoffed. "Honestly, Severus. You _would_ believe something like that."

Snape looked bored. "Indeed," he said dryly.

"You have yet to answer my question, dear," she went on, the corners of her mouth twitching, as though trying not to smile.

"Ah yes," he drawled, his lip curling. "We were trying to determine the degree of excitement Armilla has endured today. Does a pink cupcake rank high up the scale, Mother?"

Mother blinked. "You gave your sister a pink cupcake?"

"I did," he said, as I held up the cupcake as proof.

"With two candles," I added.

"And for a first attempt," he continued, "I must say that the result wasn't too disappointing…in terms of appearance anyway." He glanced at the cupcake in my hand. "It could very well taste like rubber."

"I doubt it," I said honestly. I pulled a bit off the top and put it in my mouth. It was very good. "Vanilla," I said when I had swallowed. "No rubber."

I held out the cake to him and was surprised when he actually took some. I never thought I would see my brother eating anything with pink icing.

"No, no rubber," he agreed, after swallowing his own piece. "Enjoy it, Armilla. That's the last pink cupcake I'm conjuring."

"Well then, Severus," said Mother, getting over her initial shock. "This _is_ a step forward for you. Buying your sister a diamond, conjuring a pink cupcake…what's next?" She gave him a sly look. "Is marriage on the horizon, Severus?"

His face darkened. "If you keep talking this way, Mother, I will simply stop telling you the things I do for Armilla." So Snape had told Mother in advance about having a match made for Merle's diamond.

Mother looked far from offended. "I am just teasing, Severus. I have resigned myself to the fact that you are to remain a confirmed old bachelor for the rest of your life."

"Well however you want to phrase it, I am relieved you have finally come to this mindset," he said curtly.

Mother smiled as she turned to me. "Just make sure you marry and have children, Armilla," she said. "Then they can have holidays with their Uncle Severus."

Snape shuddered at the name, but gave no comment.

He didn't really have to comment. I knew that he didn't like children. Then again, that could change if they were _my _children. He would still be just as strict though.

Mother asked about my exams and the gifts from my friends and Matilda. I was delighted to hear that she had heard of _Winnie-the-Pooh_. I knew that Mother had loved the work of some muggle composers, so admiring muggle writers wasn't all that surprising. It must have been another secret from Father though.

"You really must read it when Armilla is finished," Mother told my brother. "It's so lovely."

"As good as Potions journals?" he asked, looking highly doubtful.

"Better," I said. "But I don't think you would like it."

Mother laughed. "I read you _Winnie-the-Pooh_ when you were a baby, Severus."

He sneered. "Well I doubt that I was impressed at the time."

"And who knew that you would grow up to be Eeyore?" she said, her eyes shining.

I laughed.

Snape looked wary as he looked from me to Mother. "What's an _Eeyore_?"

"A donkey," I said quietly.

He narrowed his eyes at Mother. "Are you calling me a donkey?"

"Heavens, no, dear," she said. "You merely have the same disposition as that character."

He didn't look convinced.

"Actually, Eeyore has always been my favourite character," I said.

"Mine too," said Mother.

Snape merely let out a deep sigh.

o o o o o o o o o o

We went back to our rooms in the dungeons ten minutes later. I hadn't told Mother about receiving a letter from Merle, and Snape had not mentioned it to her either. I wasn't sure why I hadn't mentioned it. Mother probably would have been delighted to hear that Merle had planned such a thing. But at the moment, it was something too private and special. Even my brother, who liked to know absolutely everything, had not asked to read the letter.

I heard more than one owl hooting as I made my way down the hallway to my bedroom.

"Her Highness must have guests," Snape said wryly, as he sat down at the table to mark homework.

Upon entering my bedroom I found Morag sharing her water tray with a small dark brown owl. The owl had a fat envelope attached to its leg.

"Hello," I said quietly.

It hooted and soared over to me, resting on my outstretched arm. I carried it over to my desk so I could untie the envelope. I didn't recognise this owl.

I performed the necessary spells to make sure nothing unwanted was concealed within the envelope, and then I opened it. Out of it fell a rolled up bit of parchment, and a greeting card.

The card, obviously handmade, featured pictures of balloons on the front that floated around.

I opened the card and immediately a high-pitched rendition of the Happy Birthday song played out of it. I read the message quickly so I could stop the annoying music.

_Dear Miss Armilla,_

_Docky wishes Miss Armilla Many Happy Returns and hopes she enjoys Docky's present. Docky composed it himself._

_Docky_

I smiled as I closed the card.

"Don't tell me Docky has sent you something," said Snape, standing in the doorway. The noise had obviously reached his ears.

"He has," I replied, unrolling the parchment. It was a music manuscript, with a tune composed by Docky himself.

"He's composed music for me," I told Snape, as I examined the parchment.

"Merlin help us," he muttered, as he came to stand next to me to look at the parchment.

"Do you know what kind of tune it is?" he asked. He shook his head. "I probably don't need to ask."

"Probably not," I agreed. "It's very fast and very repetitive."

"How like him," he sneered.

"I'll have to write back to him and ask for the lyrics," I said, rolling up the parchment.

"You will do no such thing," he said firmly.

Later that night, after I had said goodnight to my brother, I removed the small silver earrings I normally wore and put on my new ones. Well, only one of the diamonds was really new, but to me they were both brand new.

I stood up and went into the bathroom so I could see them in the mirror. They were small, which definitely suited me as I wasn't one for chunky jewellery, and very elegant.

"You're not normally this vain, dear," said the mirror, yawning.

I pulled a face. "I'm looking at the earrings, not me." I must have been standing there a lot longer than I normally did. I generally only looked in the mirror to do my hair in the morning. My old governess Rougier would have been horrified by the absence of what she called a 'beauty routine.'

"You're looking at both," it corrected.

I shrugged. "I'm not vain. I'm allowed to look in the mirror longer on my birthday. I'm sixteen today, so I have to check for wrinkles you see."

It let out a hollow laugh. "Sound logic, dear."

I went back into my bedroom and got into bed, pulling Merle's jewellery box towards me. I opened it quickly, put my old earrings in it and then pulled out the Merle's letter. I didn't want to keep it open; otherwise the music would reach Snape's ears.

I read over the letter twice more, not because I was unsettled or anything. I was perfectly content with my brother. It was just so nice to see Merle's handwriting. As I read over the letter, I could nearly hear her soft voice reading the words to me.

_I pray with all my heart that when you read this, your life will be a happy one. I don't know what family you will be placed with, but I hope they grow to love you as much as I have, and be inspired by you to the extent that I have been._

If it came down to my relationship with Snape, then yes, my life _was_ indeed a happy one. When we had discovered that we were related, neither of us had been thrilled. Snape had stormed off and I had endured a period of grief over Merle and my mother and anxiety over my brother, father and Shar.

It had been nearly eight months since that discovery was made, and we had certainly come a long way in my opinion. For one thing, I loved my brother and I knew he loved me too. A long time ago it had seemed like Snape and love couldn't go together in the one sentence.

My life as a whole was not entirely happy though, and nor was my brother's. Snape's reason for anxiety was a lot more significant than mine, seeing as he was the one who had to leave every time he felt his mark burn. My anxiety came from my father. As I read over what Merle said about my family loving me, I started to wonder about my father and love.

Snape had told me recently that Father _was_ capable of love, as he was certain that Father had loved Mother. The way love is shown, or rather, hidden, is up to the person. It made me wonder exactly where I stood with my father. Love was certainly conditional with him. After all, if he had loved my brother once, he definitely didn't now. He always signed his letters, 'Your loving father', but I had always suspected that it was for show.

If my father did love me, I knew it wasn't the sort of love that Merle would have had in mind. My instincts told me that Merle would have been worried about Snape's Death Eater position, but she would not have doubted his love.

When it came down to _family_ though, I really didn't consider my father family. I mean, I called him Father and I had his genes and surname, but he wasn't family where it counted. Even though she had been having a go at me at the time, Rougier had been right when she had stated that Snape was simply another father. George Weasley had once said that Snape and I were a strange little family, which in a way we were, but it worked for the two of us.

o o o o o o o o o o

The rest of the week was taken up with more exams. I had put my best into both of my Defence Against the Dark Arts exams on Thursday, and Snape had been pleased to hear that I had confidently answered everything on the written paper, and had handled the practical with no problems. I was sure that he would have taken it as a personal slight if I hadn't.

On Friday evening I ate dinner in the Great Hall with my friends. Snape had felt his mark burn about half an hour before dinner and had hastened away, telling me to dine in the Great Hall with my friends instead.

Having pushed the worry of my brother's present company out of my mind, I had eaten happily enough with my friends. It was a little difficult not to think of my brother being in the Dark Lord's presence.

I headed back down to the dungeons after dinner. Malfoy met me at the stairs leading down to the dungeons in the Entrance Hall. He was leaning against the wall with his arms folded against his chest, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.

I said a quick hello to him, as it was my annoying pureblood duty to do so, and I was even more irritated when he began to walk with me. Straightaway I guessed that he had quickly left the Great Hall when he saw me leaving, hoping that I would be going down to the dungeons. His cronies were nowhere in sight.

"How have your exams been?" he said politely.

"Fine," I replied. "And yours?"

"No troubles," he said airily.

I wanted to laugh and point out that I knew about him losing concentration and smashing a wine glass in one of his practical exams. But that would be betraying my brother's trust, not to mention that it would not go down well with Father.

"Holidays are coming up soon," he went on, as we made our way along the deserted dungeon corridor. I was wondering whether I should turn and go back towards the Entrance Hall where there were more people about, but I knew there would be no good excuse for doing that. Besides, Malfoy would probably insist on accompanying me or waiting for me.

"I know," I replied. Sod off you little toad.

"Hopefully I will be able to see you over the holidays."

Hopefully _not_. "Well that is up to my brother and my father."

"Perhaps not."

"Excuse me?" His smug expression greatly unsettled me.

"Perhaps not," he repeated, very clearly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing the nonchalant attitude the whole time.

"Fathers like to think they have control, don't they?"

What was going on? "To a certain extent they _do_," I pointed out. At least, my father certainly did, and I knew Lucius Malfoy did.

"I disagree."

I stopped. "You have control over your father then?"

He stopped too and turned around, a couple of steps in front of me. He raised an eyebrow. "You're missing my point, Armilla. I am merely pointing out that only those with ultimate control can _really_ tell you what to do."

Now I was feeling very uncomfortable. If he had been bluffing the last time I spoke to him, he really didn't seem to be now. Something was going on.

"What's been happening?" I asked quietly.

He smirked. "Things are changing for the better, Armilla. When they do, those who are worthy will take their rightful positions. We're starting a new era."

"Can you be specific?" I said dryly, feeling impatient now.

He regarded me for a moment with that same smug expression. "It's not your place to know," he said finally. He turned and walked away.

"I disagree," I said, just loud enough for him to catch my words.

He stopped and turned on the spot.

"I think it _is_ my place to know," I said, meeting his gaze.

He gave me a scornful look. "Don't be so arrogant as to presume that's _your _decision." With that, he turned and swaggered away without a backwards glance.

I stared after him, feeling sick. Malfoy was generally over polite to me, saying anything to impress me. Now, it seemed as if he felt that he didn't have to, but he honestly believed that he was going to win anyway.

He had to know something. He wouldn't be making such an effort in exercising power over me if he didn't know something.

Lucius Malfoy was obviously feeding his son information. If Father knew anything, he hadn't sent warning. But maybe Father didn't know. Maybe my brother didn't know.

"Admiring the dungeon walls?" said a deep voice from behind me.

Startled, I turned to see Snape walking towards me. He had just come from a meeting with the Dark Lord. Maybe he _did_ know something.

"Uh…no…not really," I said, distractedly.

He came to a stop next to me, frowning slightly as he looked at me.

Before I could say anything, he spoke first.

"I have no wish to speak out here. Come."

He headed off in the direction of our quarters and I followed close behind, lost in thought as Malfoy's words replayed in my mind.

Once we were inside, he gestured for me to sit down on the sofa, whilst he took off his travelling cloak.

"Is it urgent?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"What is it about?"

"Malfoy," I said flatly.

His face darkened. "Again? This is getting ridiculous."

"I know," I said quietly.

He sighed. "I want you to tell me about it when I'm not rushed for time. Can you spare me a few minutes so I can contact Dumbledore?"

"Of course," I replied. I knew he had to contact Dumbledore to inform him of whatever had transpired during his meeting with the Dark Lord. Malfoy could wait.

"Make us some tea," he said, walking towards the hallway. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

He disappeared into the lab and I heard no sound from behind the closed door. No doubt Dumbledore and my brother had a high security charm in place to protect their means of communication.

I conjured up some tea, and sat waiting for Snape to emerge.

I wondered if Snape had the means to find out what was going on with Malfoy. I had asked him once before why he couldn't just slide in and out of another Death Eater's mind via Occlumency to find things out. He had simply replied that it wasn't that simple and I had been left to ponder this.

Snape kept his word and came back into the sitting room after only a few minutes. I concluded (surprising myself with a note of optimism) that he hadn't had too stressful a time in front of the Dark Lord.

"Now then," he said, sitting down next to me and taking his teacup. "What happened?"

"I met Malfoy on my way down here," I began, trying to push the image of Malfoy's smug expression from my mind without resorting to Occluding. "Actually, it seemed like he was waiting for me."

Snape frowned. "How so?"

"He was leaning against the wall at the top of the dungeon stairs, looking as if it was something he does all the time. It wasn't until I walked down the stairs that he decided to come too so he could talk to me."

"And where were Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Probably eating their sixth course in the Great Hall," I said snidely.

The corners of Snape's mouth twitched for brief moment, but when he spoke, his voice was hard. "Had you already greeted him when he began to follow you?"

I nodded. "Yes, I had, and then he just started to follow me. I didn't know whether to go back to the Entrance Hall with a flimsy excuse or keep walking."

"Risky either way," he said quietly, putting his cup down. "So what did he have to say to you this time?"

"He asked me how my exams were going, and then he mentioned that he was hoping to see me over the holidays."

Snape scowled. "Not if I can help it," he said darkly.

"Father might allow it," I pointed out.

He shook his head. "Father seems reluctant to talk about Lucius Malfoy at the moment. Something must have happened between them." He looked completely indifferent as he continued. "At any rate, I doubt Father will be amenable to visits from Draco anytime soon."

"Well that's just it," I said. "That's where things got a bit strange. I said that it was up to you and Father as to whether I would see him or not, and then he started going on about fathers _thinking_ they have control."

"He's a self-righteous little fool, Armilla," he scoffed.

"No," I insisted, "trust me, something is going on. I told him that fathers do have control, and he told me that I was missing the point. He said that only those with _ultimate control_ can really tell you what to do." I curled my hands into fists in an effort to stop them shaking. "What am I supposed to think from _that_?"

Snape just stared at me, his expression still dark. Before he could offer an answer I went on.

"I asked Malfoy what was happening. He said that things are changing for the better, and when they do, those who are _worthy_ will take their _rightful positions_. He called it a new era."

Snape's eyes flashed. "Was he more specific than that?"

If I wasn't so worried, I would have laughed at the fact that I had asked the same question of Malfoy.

"He told me it wasn't my _place_ to know any more than that," I said resentfully.

His eyes glinted dangerously at this. Obviously, he knew no more about this than I did, and Malfoy wasn't about to tell.

"I told him that I disagreed," I continued. "I told him it _was_ my place to know."

"And what was the reply you received?" he asked quietly, his eyes narrowed.

I squeezed my hands into even tighter fists. "He told not so be so _arrogant_ as to presume that it was my decision."

With a furious look, Snape suddenly stood up and started pacing, his black robes billowing behind him as he walked.

"I was hoping you might have had an idea as to what it's about," I said quietly. "But I suppose not."

He shook his head. "I knew _nothing_ of this," he snapped, though I knew his anger wasn't directed at me.

"Father then?"

"Oh, I _will_ be having a chat with Father very shortly," he said curtly.

"What if Father doesn't know anything about it?"

"Then I suppose I will have to approach Lucius and question _him_ on the matter."

We were silent for a moment. I watched as Snape walked over to the table and back again.

"If Draco Malfoy is reluctant to say anything, how will you get information from his father?" I asked.

Snape sighed. "I might not get any information from him. Lucius is also very close to the Dark Lord. If I am too insistent on a matter or resort to _unorthodox_ methods of obtaining information then Lucius will find a means to cause trouble for me."

I frowned. "I thought Lucius thinks that the two of you are friends."

"When it's convenient, yes," he said, sneering. "It's about connections, Armilla, as you well know. If I push Lucius too far then it may well compromise my position as the Order's Spy."

"But doesn't the Dark Lord value you just as much?" I asked.

Snape paused in front of the coffee table, pursing his lips as he looked at me. "You are moving onto dangerous ground, Armilla."

"I know," I said quickly. "I wasn't trying to get-"

"Forget it," he said abruptly, holding up a hand in indication to stop. His patience was _very _thin. "Lucius also has his uses to the Dark Lord, Armilla. Let's just leave it at that."

I nodded. "Alright. So you're going to speak to Father first then?"

He nodded as he sat down next to me again. "As soon as possible."

Having nothing else to say, I picked up my cup of tea. Snape seemed content to glare at the space in front of him.

Finally, having defeated the air with his glaring, he broke his gaze and turned to me. "Five subjects down," he said, "four to go."

"Two of the worst are in front of me," I replied. I wasn't looking forward to Astronomy or History of Magic. Admittedly, it wasn't that I had trouble understanding History of Magic, rather it was just that there was so much to remember and my brain really didn't care. I struggled more with Astronomy, which worried me considering that my father was passionate about Astronomy.

"You can only do what you can," he said.

"Father doesn't think that way," I said quietly.

"Well, if things go my way," he said, leaning back, "you'll be with me in July and with Father in August. That way, you'll have already received your OWLs when you go to him. We would have already written to him to inform him of whatever results you receive."

I shuddered. "That gives him time to think about what hex he'll use."

He raised an eyebrow. "You've already decided what marks you're getting, have you?" He shook his head. "Father's generally impulsive, Armilla. The serious hexes you have received from him have come about through spontaneous action."

That was true. The first time, when I had received a hex through a letter, Father would have only just found out that I was rude to Malfoy. He had also acted on impulse when he had hexed me on my last night at Snape Manor because I had just been rude to Rougier.

"All the same, I bet he does plan things occasionally though," I murmured.

Snape inclined his head. "When he feels particularly passionate about something, yes. I doubt that includes OWL marks."

I looked at him closely, searching for a sign that he might just be saying that to comfort me. It only took me a second to remember that Snape wouldn't just be saying things to comfort me if it involved moving further away from the truth.

o o o o o o o o o o

I stayed in our quarters in the dungeons all day on Saturday, studying for the exams I had coming up the following week. I had Potions on Monday, an exam-free day on Tuesday, Astronomy and Arithmancy on Wednesday, and History of Magic to finish off on Thursday.

Snape had left shortly after breakfast to go and see Father about Malfoy's conversation with me. He had been a little on edge at breakfast, which was understandable considering that he was going to Snape Manor.

He returned just before lunch. If he had seemed a little tetchy at breakfast time, he was well and truly ill-tempered now.

He closed the front door with a little more force than necessary, and when I went out into the sitting room to meet him, his eyes were glinting dangerously, and his expression was nothing short of mutinous.

I always found being as quiet as I could was best during these situations. If I said too much, he would snap at me. Instead, all I would need to say were a couple of words, and then hopefully he would carry on most the conversation by himself.

"That bad?" I said quietly, as he sat down in an armchair.

"There's something wrong with the old fool," he said scathingly, his expression most unpleasant. "He wouldn't give me a single satisfactory answer. I related the whole conversation with Malfoy to him, and instead of saying that he knew what it was about or acting surprised, he did neither."

"What did he say?"

"He asked why you were out talking to a boy in the corridor when you should have been in your room studying!"

A boy? To Father, Draco Malfoy had always had a name; he had never been a random boy.

Snape was obviously thinking along the same lines. "That led me to believe that he _did_ know, but wasn't about to tell me anything. Of course, that led to an argument and I accused him of keeping important information from me. Then he had the nerve to accuse me of keeping information about you from him!"

I sat down on the sofa. "What sort of information?"

"Nothing in particular," he said, looking exasperated. "He just used it as an excuse. He went on again about how boring your letters are and has concluded that the lack of interesting content means that we are concealing everything else."

This was partly true. I generally told Father very little about myself.

"I asked him if there was something going on with Lucius Malfoy," he continued, his eyes narrowing, "and he said that he had _no_ desire whatsoever to speak about Lucius."

I frowned. "But that points to-"

"Yes," he said abruptly. "He must have quarrelled with Lucius. Over _what_ exactly I don't know. It could have something to do with the Dark Lord."

I said nothing. I knew it wasn't my place to ask for more information when it came to the Dark Lord.

He sighed. "Father's position in the Dark Lord's eyes is not what it once was," he went on quietly. "Perhaps Lucius has been given responsibilities that Father might once have had."

Again, I remained silent. I was surprised that Snape had said as much. I doubted that Snape knew the responsibilities of all the other Death Eaters. Not that I knew much about You-Know-Who, but I couldn't imagine an evil wizard handing out the same information to everyone.

"Perhaps that is why Father is not so keen to have Draco for you anymore," he said, looking a little calmer. "He might have changed his mind after a personal row with Lucius."

"Would that explain why Draco was talking about fathers not having control?" I asked. "Was he just meaning that his father only does the bidding of the Dark Lord?"

"Possibly," he answered, staring at the space in front of him. "There are too many possibilities."

"So where to from here?" I said softly.

Again, he sighed. Though he would never admit it, he looked exhausted to me.

"Lucius," he said quietly. "I doubt he will tell me anything, but I shall try just the same."

"And if nothing comes from that?"

"Then Father and I will have to have a serious talk about social engagements this summer. I don't like the idea of the Malfoys visiting whilst you are at Father's." He scowled. "In fact, after the incident at Father's dinner party, I have no wish for you to be near any of Father's friends or their children."

I nodded. I couldn't have agreed more. Marcus Flint had been very drunk that night. If it hadn't happened then Morag wouldn't have been poisoned.

"I shall have to make it clear to Father that I don't want you leaving the house with a governess or anyone else other than him," he went on. "We were lucky last time that we were able to have Nymphadora Tonks monitor Rougier."

"Did you talk to him about when I will stay with him over the summer?" I asked.

He nodded. "It took a fair amount of coaxing, but I managed to convince him that it would be more advantageous for him to see you in August."

"Advantageous?" I repeated, looking suspiciously at him.

"Indeed. You'll be tired in July from your exams and so will be in no condition to learn all the pureblood traditions or whatever else he has in mind. He came to see that you'll be more attentive in August."

"Thankyou…I think," I said. I just couldn't wait to get back into memorising utter nonsense from outdated books.

"Best I could do, unfortunately," he replied.

"I wonder if Father has hired a new governess yet," I said. I was not looking forward to meeting whoever it was.

"I asked him," Snape said shortly, his eyes narrowing. "He said that he hadn't, and he didn't know why I was so concerned anyway, as it had nothing to do with me."

I shook my head. My father was such a lovely old dear. "I hope he doesn't find anyone."

"You might see more of Father if there's no governess," he pointed out.

I nodded glumly. "Doomed either way."

o o o o o o o o o o

My Potions exams on Monday went by with so problems at all. In all honesty, if I had never found out that I was related to Snape, I would have never been so confident in a Potions exam. But I had spent too much time in the Potions lab with my brother, due to study and also leisurely.

Though he had never said so, I knew it would not bode well for Snape if I didn't receive an Outstanding in Potions. Given that he only took the top students into NEWT Potions, there was certainly pressure to do well. I didn't like favouritism, but I knew he would accept me into NEWT Potions anyway no matter what my mark was. I wouldn't have a choice.

I was still worried about the conversation with Malfoy. Snape had spoken to Lucius Malfoy on Sunday, and had come back almost as annoyed as he had been the day before.

Lucius Malfoy had not been helpful at all. Apparently he had not looked too impressed when Snape had told him what Draco had said to me. He had responded with something along the lines of "Draco gets strange ideas in his head at times" and had said that he would speak to his son about it. Snape had also asked him if anything was going on with Father, but Lucius had remained tight-lipped other than to say that he hadn't spoken to him much lately.

Like he had said on Saturday, my brother said he would meet with Father again and discuss the people I would come into contact with over the summer. We had spent an hour on Sunday afternoon duelling. Snape had used the excuse that I had to constantly practice using my mental shield whilst duelling, but I believed he drew solace from non-threat duelling.

On Wednesday night, Snape and I went to see Mother. We went just after nine o'clock, after Snape had told me to take a break from studying for my Astronomy practical exam, which started at eleven pm. I was already exhausted. I had already sat for my theory Astronomy exam that morning, as well as Arithmancy in the afternoon. I just couldn't wait to go to bed. It was a lovely feeling that it was all going to be over the next day after History of Magic.

It took Snape five attempts this time to activate the ring. Neither of us said anything about it. It was another worry to add to the list.

"Nearly over, dear?" asked Mother, when her face had finally come into view.

"Yes, just two more. I have Astronomy tonight," I replied, looking closely at her.

She still looked just the same as she did when I had first seen her. The same clear blue eyes and long brown hair, a fair bit lighter than mine. If she had been living then she would have looked about fifteen years older than she did in the ring. Snape had told me that Mother would have been fifty-six now if she was alive. However, her face in the ring retained the age she was upon her death.

"As long as you're confident," she said. A second later her face vanished.

I hastily leaned forward and tried to activate the ring again.

Nothing happened.

Far from being discouraged, as Snape and I were used to this now, I tried again. And again. And again.

"I wish Mother had had more time to do find out more about this ring," Snape grumbled, moving my hand away so he could have a turn.

He managed to activate it once more on his second attempt.

"Maybe it's become sensitive to magical strength," I said quietly, as Mother's face slowly came into view. "Mine mustn't be strong enough to take effect."

"I don't know," he said, frowning down at the ring.

"And what do you have planned for after the exams?" Mother asked, unaware that she had just faded from the ring again.

"Mother, you just faded again," Snape interrupted softly. "It's taking longer and longer to bring you back."

Mother looked up at her son, a serene look on her face. "I'm sorry, Severus," she said. "I know I didn't research every property of the ring, but I know I'm not going anywhere yet."

Snape said nothing more on the subject. Instead he just looked expectantly at me.

"Well?" said Mother, looking at me.

"I don't know yet," I replied. "I haven't really thought about it. I don't really want to do much."

"Just sit by the lake everyday with your friends," she recommended.

"Not everyday," said Snape, shaking his head. "Nothing comes from being idle."

"I disagree," said Mother. "You get rest and relaxation."

"No, you get anxiety because you think about the things you should be doing," he said.

Mother stared at him. "Are we talking about you or Armilla, Severus? Are you tired, dear?" She looked sympathetically at him.

"No," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Severus. It's not good manners."

Before he could retort, Mother's face vanished again.

"Allow me," he said, leaning forward to attempt to activate the ring again. I hadn't bothered moving to do it myself this time. I had given up hope that it would recognise my magic.

It took three goes for Mother's face to come back.

"Welcome back," said Snape dryly, once her face had become clear.

"I went again, did I?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she continued to speak.

"Have you arranged for Armilla to stay with your father during the summer?" she asked Snape.

"A month in August," he answered.

"Too long," she said, looking annoyed.

He raised an eyebrow. "It's not bad considering we have _joint_ custody, Mother."

"I don't care," she huffed.

"Well then, let's change the subject," he said, suddenly looking impatient.

"Fine. Let's quiz Armilla on her Astronomy, Severus."

o o o o o o o o o o

By the time I joined my friends later that night for the exam, I was as ready as I could possibly be. I was not going to say that I was confident, as Astronomy was not a favourite subject of mine, but I had studied all I could.

Snape and I had stayed with Mother for another half hour. Her face had faded another three times, but as Snape and I had made our way back to the dungeons, neither of us had chosen to speak about it.

"Good night for stargazing," said Terry, nodding up at the sky.

"Doesn't make it any more enjoyable," I muttered.

"I'm going to be so happy this time tomorrow," sighed Lisa.

"I won't be feeling anything this time tomorrow," said Terry. "I'll be sleeping, blissfully unaware of all around me."

"Are you coming back to Ravenclaw Tower tomorrow night, Mill?" Lisa asked. "We've missed having you up there."

I nodded. I wasn't going to miss out on the end of exam celebrations in the common room. Snape had already said that I could spend Thursday night in Ravenclaw Tower.

Professor Marchbanks called for quiet, and we all began setting up our telescopes. When we were all ready, we were told we could begin, and we started to fill in the star-charts we had been given.

It was very boring in my opinion, filling in the chart. I was extremely tired, but I managed to keep myself alert as I concentrated on my chart…

o o o o o o o o o o

It was after two in the morning when I made my way down to the dungeons, my heart still thumping after what I had just witnessed.

I let myself into our quarters. I nearly jumped when I saw a shadow emerge in the corridor as I moved through the sitting room. I had been expecting Snape to be in bed at this time.

"I put an alert on the charms protecting the entrance," he explained, lighting his wand as we stood together in the corridor. He was wearing a black dressing gown and had dark grey socks on. "I wanted to know when you returned. Was the exam alright?"

"I did all I could," I said, wishing my heart would stop thumping, "considering what happened. Hagrid's gone, and Professor McGonagall was injured."

"What?" Snape's eyes widened in shock. "What happened?"

"Some people came out of the castle and tried to stun Hagrid, but it wouldn't work," I said hastily. "A man named Dawlish was one of them. He yelled at Hagrid to be reasonable. Hagrid's dog was stunned, and Hagrid threw the man who did it. Then Professor McGonagall came out, yelling at them to leave Hagrid alone, and the people turned on her and shot Stunners at her instead. She was thrown off her feet."

"No doubt," said Snape, his face pale. His dark eyes were glittering.

"Hagrid started screaming that they were cowards and knocked a couple of them out, and then we heard Umbridge down there, screaming at the others to get him."

"Of course," he said, his lip curling. "Dolores Umbridge would have to be responsible for causing such a scene."

"Then Hagrid escaped with Fang," I finished.

"McGonagall must be in the hospital wing then," he said. He shook his head wearily. "I'm going to go up to the hospital wing. I want you to go straight to bed."

"Alright," I said, as he turned and went back into his bedroom, presumably to change.

I went into my own bedroom and got changed. As I got into bed, the whole thing replayed in my head. Seeing the people turn on Professor McGonagall like that was just eerie, especially because it had happened at Hogwarts. If it was possible, my hatred for Umbridge increased even more. I supposed that McGonagall would not be well enough to do anything anytime soon.

That left my brother as the only Order member keeping an eye on Hogwarts…

o o o o o o o o o o

I slept in until nine o'clock. When I went out to the sitting room, I noticed that Snape had left breakfast on the table for me, along with a note saying that he would be back to have lunch with me before my History of Magic exam that afternoon.

I studied for the rest of the morning with a bit of a strange feeling. I couldn't accurately describe the feeling. I supposed it was a mixture of anxiety for the state of Hogwarts, now that Umbridge was openly supporting the attack of her staff members, as well as a little bit of excitement that exams were finishing that afternoon.

When lunchtime finally came, my brain had started screaming at me to stop going over the goblin riots of the eighteenth century.

"Had enough?" asked my brother, as he entered the room, heading straight for the table.

"More than enough," I said, putting my notes aside. I joined him at the table where lunch had just magically appeared, sent by the house elves.

"How is Professor McGonagall?" I asked, after we had started to eat.

"She was in a critical condition last night," he answered. "She had received four Stunning Spells to the chest, so it's no wonder she was in a bad way. She was transferred to St Mungo's this morning."

"Do you think she'll be alright?" I asked. For some reason, I was suddenly reminded that her sister, Emiliana, had been a close friend of Mother's. Not that any of that was relevant, but it just popped into my head…

He nodded. "She's not young, but she's strong."

"You're the only Order member left here," I told him.

He grimaced. "Let's hope the school year ends peacefully then."

"I'm not optimistic," I said wryly, "at least not while Umbridge is here."

"Personally, I'm praying she meets a sticky end," he muttered, picking up a piece of bread.

After we had finished lunch, Snape quickly went over my History of Magic notes with me before he got ready to teach.

"Good luck then," he said, as he made his way to the door. "Make sure you have your chocolate frog card on you so you can let me know from Ravenclaw Tower how you went."

"I always carry it," I said. "I'll probably come down here this afternoon first anyway." I didn't want to just go straight up to Ravenclaw Tower after the exam. I had been living with Snape all this time while he had been helping me study. The least I could do was to come down and tell him how it went.

He nodded as he opened the door. "See you later then."

"You will," I replied.

o o o o o o o o o o

Not long before my exam was due to begin, I left our quarters and walked along the cold corridor. There were a few Slytherins about, also making their way up to the Great Hall for the exam.

As I came around a corner, I nearly bumped into Draco Malfoy, who was standing in the middle of the corridor talking to…Lucius Malfoy.

Draco turned around at the sound of footsteps, and Lucius looked over his son's head to peer at me through slightly narrowed eyes. Draco and I moved out of the middle of the corridor to let the other students pass. Two of them nodded at Lucius, and he nodded curtly back.

"Ah, Armilla," he said, reaching out to shake my hand. "So lovely to see you. I was just asking Draco here whether he had spoken to you today."

Draco nodded at me. "Armilla."

"Draco," I said, also nodding.

"All ready for the exam, Armilla?" Lucius asked, clasping his hands behind his back and regarding me with an expression I supposed he thought was fondness.

"Yes, sir," I said politely.

"Excellent," he said. "Yes, I came myself this afternoon to wish Draco luck, and to take tea with the Headmistress. I must say it is excellent to have a former ministry member in the position of Headmistress here."

"Yes, sir," I said again, though I didn't agree at all.

"Where are all the other Slytherins, Draco?" asked Lucius, looking around.

"Either in class, Father, or already up in the Entrance Hall or Great Hall," he answered. He wasn't so arrogant in his father's presence.

"Oh," Lucius said shortly. "The exam doesn't start for another fifteen minutes. Would you have time to see if Dolores is up in her office, Draco? We're supposed to go to Hogsmeade, and I would rather meet her in the Entrance Hall."

"Yes, Father," said Draco obediently, and he turned and headed in the direction of the Entrance Hall, and was soon out of sight.

Not wanting to be left alone in the presence of Lucius Malfoy, I started to walk in the same direction.

Before I had taken two steps, I felt a hand grab mine and something small and cold was pressed between my hand and the hand of Lucius.

I felt a tug behind my navel and in an instant my feet had left the ground. I could feel a gush of wind and all I could see was a whirl of colour.

My feet slammed to the ground so hard that I fell. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lucius land hard as well, but he did not fall.

"_Expelliarmus_!" he said sharply, and I felt my wand come from out of my robes and it zoomed in his direction.

My heart felt like it was going to explode. This was a dream. This _had_ to be a dream…

I was sitting on shabby grey carpet in a dimly lit room. I looked ahead of me on the floor to see highly polished high-heeled shoes, nearly covered by dark purple robes. Slowly looking up, I met the gaze of a person I had no desire to see. The governess. Zita Rougier.

Rougier was looking down at me with a self satisfied smile.

"Ah, my favourite young charge," she whispered.

Lucius pocketed my wand, as well as the small silver portkey that had just delivered us here. He unnecessarily brushed himself off and reached down to pull me up.

"Ladies don't sit about on the floor," he said quietly, not letting go of my hand. He looked at Rougier.

"Zita," he said, nodding at her. "All is well I trust?"

She nodded. "Yes, Aurelius."


	68. Fred and George's Gift

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 67

_Aurelius?_

My heart, which had been pounding so hard that it seemed near to an explosion, suddenly seemed to stop. This man next to me, holding my hand so tight as if afraid I would disappear, was my _father_?

Was it an act? Was it Lucius pretending to be my father so I would be more compliant? How did Rougier fit in? The panic inside me was growing at a very rapid rate. I had no wand and I had no idea where I was.

"I apologise for having to collect you in such an indecorous manner," the man said pompously, not letting go of my hand. "But desperate times call for desperate measures, I'm sure you understand."

The terror inside me had reached an alarming level before my senses had returned and overridden my shock. I should have been be occluding from the moment we had landed. I had already failed my brother in that regard.

My pearl! I needed to contact my brother. I had been wearing the small pearl ever since Snape had done up its fine silver chain around my neck on the day I had woken up in the Secret Wing.

"_All you have to do is press your index fingers against it until it turns red, and I will come. Do you understand?"_

I couldn't very well do it now, nor could I whip out my chocolate frog card. I didn't know exactly how the pearl contacted Snape. Did he have a pearl which held a connection with mine or did it make some sort of mental connection? I didn't know if raising the alarm would disclose my location to my brother. I had no idea where I was.

In any case, I couldn't lose more time. In a massive effort, I tried my utmost to push the panic away and put up my mental shield. It wasn't as strong as I was used to having it, but hopefully it would get stronger as the shock of the situation wore off.

"No," I said quietly, meeting his gaze. "I _don't_ understand."

"You never did understand much," Rougier scoffed, shaking her head disdainfully.

"I beg your pardon," the man said sharply, his eyes flashing in anger as he turned to Rougier. "I will not tolerate you speaking to my daughter as if she was some common muggle born."

Rougier flushed. "I am sorry, sir. I forgot myself."

He nodded curtly. "Clearly," he sneered. "Remember your place, Zita. My daughter is one of the wealthiest pureblood witches in Britain. Pay her the respect her position deserves."

Rougier nodded, her face expressionless.

Respect for my _position_? What about respect for _me_? Actually, I held very little respect for myself at the moment. All those months of training and I had failed to occlude upon attack and I had already been disarmed. Snape would be so disappointed. But I couldn't think about that now. I had to somehow get myself out of this.

Though I had much bigger things to worry about at the moment, I did feel a small jolt of excitement as Rougier was reprimanded. This man did certainly seem to be my father. But I wasn't going to acknowledge him as such until he resumed his usual appearance. I wondered how long it would be before the Polyjuice Potion had worn off.

"Where are we?" I asked, wondering if I would get an honest answer.

"Far from home, far from Hogwarts," was the man's reply. His cold eyes were surveying me calculatingly. "And no portkey to get you back. The one I used was one-way."

Ah, I supposed it was a silly thing to ask a kidnapper. It really irked me seeing Lucius Malfoy talk but having to remind myself that it was probably Father on the inside.

I broke eye contact and looked around the room instead. It was hard to make out everything in the dim light that was shed from the candles on a few sconces around the room. The room was smaller than the sitting room Snape and I shared at Hogwarts. The shabby grey carpet was certainly not shown up by the walls, which had peeling yellowing wallpaper on them. There was an old dark green armchair in one corner, and an old wooden table across the room with a couple of cardboard boxes on it, but that was it.

There were no windows, so I couldn't attempt to guess the location by looking out the window. There were two doors. One I supposed led outside, while the other must have led to a bathroom or corridor. I didn't know if we were in a house or a two room cabin. Whatever it was, it seemed in disrepair, and must have been abandoned many years ago.

"Not our usual standards, is it?" the man said, also looking around the room. "The room is certainly fit for filthy muggles."

"This is a muggle house?" I asked, looking back at him. I wanted information. If this was a muggle house, then I could rule out the all-wizarding suburbs and areas I knew.

"Heavens no," he answered, looking revolted. "I wouldn't resort to occupying a space that a _muggle_ has touched. This place was abandoned by a wizard many years ago."

"How did you know it was here?" I questioned, though I knew my thirst for information was not quite subtle at the moment. However, I kept my questions in as much a conversational tone as possible.

He merely raised an eyebrow. "As a wizard of considerable fortune and assets, Armilla, I have many connections, and that is all you need to know."

It wasn't like I expected to receive proper answers. He didn't trust me with information, which I supposed was wise on his part.

"Are you going to tell me why we're here?" I asked softly, careful not to make my tone demanding. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rougier flexing her fingers. Lucky for her that she was now standing slightly behind the man and he didn't see her.

He inclined his head. "You're entitled to know why we are here. In fact, I believe if you knew the whole story as to why we are here then you wouldn't feel inclined to plan an escape."

Now, _that_ was interesting. It would have to be a pretty impressive piece of information to persuade me to stay and take tea like a lady with Rougier. I would much rather enjoy my brother's typical afternoon tea: sugarless English Breakfast tea and no cupcakes.

"Alas, I have not the time to tell you the tale at present," he went on. "I have business to attend to in the grounds surrounding this house that cannot be delayed. I do promise to inform you upon my return."

"How long will you be gone?" I asked. As dangerous as my father was (I was starting to acknowledge him in my head as my father, if not openly), I did not feel comfortable being left alone with Rougier, especially after the last time I had seen her. My brother had threatened her in Diagon Alley and had made it perfectly clear that she would regret it if she came near me again. I was sure her sole motive for involvement in this was revenge.

"Anxious, are you?" he asked, taking my hand in his. "Do not fear that your safety will be compromised. I firmly trust Zita here, and as the Secret Keeper for us, I assure you that she has your best interests at heart."

Secret Keeper? Oh, excellent. Rougier had the power to reveal our location? What great luck. If he had to have a Secret Keeper, what had possessed my father to pick the governess, whom he had only met upon hiring her for me? Behind my father, who still looked like Lucius Malfoy, Rougier gave me a thin smile. I was in trouble.

I tried to show my anxiety in an effort to make Father stay a little longer. I wanted to hear the story before I devised a plan to escape.

"I still won't feel safe if you aren't here," I said quietly, looking pleadingly up at him.

As hard as it was hard to detect any emotion coming out of Lucius Malfoy's face, I thought I saw the tiniest flash of feeling cross his face. He felt needed by his daughter, and I supposed that comforted him in a way.

"There's no need to be concerned," he said, squeezing my hand a little harder. "I will still be in the grounds, and they are also protected by the Fidelius Charm."

"I don't feel safe being left alone with Madame Rougier," I insisted, ignoring the governess shifting slightly behind my father. I knew my father wouldn't hex me without a reason. As for Rougier, I knew she was just itching to hex me. She had once said that she didn't do such things, but I had the feeling that she had changed her mind. I was without my wand, and I didn't want to face Rougier alone. "Couldn't I come with you?"

He stared down at me, now looking a little suspicious. "Of course you cannot come with me. I have secret business to attend to and you are better off here with your governess." He turned to Rougier. "Zita, my child seems to feel anxiety about being left in your care. Would you know why that is?"

Rougier gave him a warm smile. "Well, I do not pretend to be a psychologist, sir, but I imagine that Armilla is simply feeling a form of separation anxiety. I believe she must feel it more acutely when left in the care of a woman, as she has become so accustomed to the guardianship of wizards."

Father nodded in understanding, but I shook my head. "No, that's not the reason-"

Father held up a hand to stop me. "Hush, Armilla. I will have no more complaints on your part. Zita is among the best in her field and I trust her implicitly."

Best in her field? I certainly agreed with that. Best in the Manipulative Conceited Foul Hags Field.

Rougier now gave me a wide smile. "Don't fret yourself, dear," she simpered. "We will be so busy that you will barely notice the time passing and your father will be back before you know it."

Ah, I forgot to add Patronising Fool to her list of achievements. It was such an honour to be exposed to the condescension of Zita Rougier.

"Well, that's settled then," said Father, dropping my hand. "Get yourself settled, Armilla, and I will join you both for dinner later on."

Dinner? But that was hours away. I wanted to be back with Snape in the dungeons before then. See? I did have an optimistic side. I didn't like using it a lot because often it seemed out of touch with reality.

He turned to go, but I caught his hand.

"How long do you think we'll be staying here?" I asked, occluding hard to keep my dread of the answer away.

Before he could answer, the hand in mine seemed to become a little rougher. In an instant, I knew what was happening. I was about to see proof that the man was indeed my father, as the effects of the Polyjuice Potion were wearing off. Lucius Malfoy's face held no discomfort or even interest at what was happening. Before long, Lucius' face had disappeared to reveal the hooked nose and cold black eyes of my father. His long dark grey hair reached halfway down his back.

Back in his usual form, he gave himself a slight shake, as if ridding himself of Lucius Malfoy. "That's better," he muttered. He released his hand from mine without glancing at me and approached one of the doors. "In answer to your question, Armilla," he said, as he placed his hand on the doorknob, his back to us. "We will be here indefinitely." Saying no more, he opened the door and left.

In the brief second that the door was open, I caught a small glimpse of what was outside. There were lots of trees, all clustered together, and as a result there was not a great deal of light. We must have been in some sort of forest.

I stood staring at the closed door. What was I going to do? I had to rely solely on my own abilities to get myself out of this. I honestly didn't think it was wise to try anything though until I had heard Father's story. He had to have a motive for suddenly abducting me from Hogwarts when he knew perfectly well that I had another exam to sit. I hadn't stopped to think that I was currently missing my History of Magic exam. I wondered how long it would take for the staff to realise that I wasn't in the castle. My presence would have been immediately missed because of the empty exam desk in the Great Hall behind Zacharias Smith and in front of Dean Thomas. I wondered what my brother was doing right now.

"Did you hear that, dear little one?" said a simpering voice. "_Indefinitely_, your father said. Better make yourself comfortable then."

Biting back the lovely range of retorts that had entered my head, I turned to face the woman. I needed to distract her in some way so I could use my pearl to warn Snape that I was in danger. I couldn't risk doing it right in front of her, and asking to use the bathroom right now would seem a little too obvious. I needed to gain more information and I hoped Rougier would be stupid enough to give it to me. She certainly had the credentials.

"So how did you get roped into this job?" I asked, trying to ignore my fetish for making sarcastic comments in her presence.

Rougier folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. "Let me make it plain right now that any attempts to obtain information from me will be unsuccessful. I have no desire to share the nature of this situation with you."

I shrugged. "I was only asking how you got involved. I don't recall asking for any more detail than that."

She gave me a sour look. "Oh, so innocent, aren't you?"

I gave no answer; I merely stared at her indifferently.

Rougier held a hand up to her ear, pretending that she was trying to listen for something.

"Oh, what's that?" she said sarcastically. "Is that Severus I can hear?"

I folded my arms. "Excuse me?" I said dryly, occluding away the pain I felt at hearing my brother's name.

She kept her hand behind her ear, apparently straining to hear. "I'm trying to hear Severus," she said in a high girly voice not unlike Umbridge's. "Is that him pounding on the door, demanding that you be released to him at once?" She dropped her hand and clasped both hands in front of her. "Oh, _that's_ right," she said smugly. "He's not here to protect you, is he? Whatever shall you do now?" She let out a cold laugh as she surveyed me through narrowed eyes. "Should I be worried that I'm ignoring his threat?"

I shrugged, pushing away my utterly vicious remarks. "It's up to you," I answered, showing no sign that her words bothered me.

Rougier raised an eyebrow. "No emotions to show then? Trying to be brave, are we? That's the spirit. I was growing rather worried just now when you were too scared to have your adoring father leave. That seemed so out of character for you."

I pushed away a desire to yawn. Really, Rougier had an unfortunate tendency to talk too much. If Snape was here right now, he would probably make some remark about her having consumed a Babbling Beverage.

"Nothing to say then? How surprising," she drawled, now looking bored.

I looked around the room, noting the lack of furniture again. "Where am I to stay then?"

"We're sharing a room," she said shortly, not looking particularly thrilled with the idea. "That way I can keep an eye on you. Either myself or your father is to be with you at all times."

Damn. That was inconvenient. "What, even bathroom use?" I asked, appalled.

Rougier pulled a face. "You will have a time limit when it comes to bathroom use," she said dryly, "even then, I will have to stand outside the door to make sure you're not using the bathroom for any alternate purpose, such as attempting to contact your brother, which reminds me-" She took out her wand and pointed it at me. "_Accio_ _items in Armilla's pockets_!"

Several items flew out of my robes, but not my precious chocolate frog card. Snape had placed a charm on it long ago so that it couldn't be magically retrieved by anyone else. In fact, I was pretty sure that if Rougier actually put her hand in the pocket of my robes, she wouldn't feel it.

"Nothing much here," Rougier murmured, looking at the items in her hands, which consisted of a couple of hair pins and a chocolate frog packet that Terry had given me a couple of days before. "You certainly don't need this chocolate," she said, tossing it onto the small table. "And collecting chocolate frog cards is juvenile."

I didn't bother answering. I didn't want to start a conversation about chocolate frog cards. There was only one chocolate frog card that meant a great deal to me, and all I wanted right now was to activate it to contact Snape. But then, I didn't know what wards were in place around the house and grounds. I might not be able to contact him.

Rougier opened the other door and a narrow corridor was revealed. I followed her as she walked down it and opened a door on the right.

"You and I are staying in here," she said, not bothering to go in. From behind her I could see a dark windowless room with two single beds and an old cupboard in a corner. Like the main room, this room had peeling wallpaper and old threadbare carpet. Nice. My father provided supreme accommodation.

Rougier shut the door with a snap and continued down the hallway.

"Your father's room," she said briskly, waving her arm at a closed door on the left. "You would know, of course, that you have _no_ business going in there."

"Of course," I murmured, following slowly, my mind buzzing with too many thoughts.

"And the bathroom," she said finally, opening the door at the end of the corridor to reveal a dingy tiled room that barely fit an old bathtub, toilet and basin.

"You have limited access to the bathroom," she went on, standing back as she left the door open. "No need for you spend unnecessary time in there plotting. Therefore _I_ will decide when you may go. You may go in there now for three minutes and once again before you go to bed tonight."

I gazed back at her, keeping the incredulous feeling I had from my face. This was ridiculous.

She glared back at me. "Don't you need to use it? I'm already timing you."

Not even sparing her one cold glare, as I had promised Snape long ago that I wouldn't let the governess make me snap, I moved passed her and even managed to close the door quietly.

I knew Rougier was going to stand right outside the door the whole time so I had to be quick with attempting to communicate Snape.

I lifted the toilet lid, making sure it made a noise. Then, quick as lightning, I took out my chocolate frog card. My heart seemed to skip a beat when I saw that the wizard on the front was snoozing. No message. That wasn't a good sign. Snape must have known by now that I was missing, and the fact that there was no message must have meant that the card couldn't receive communication due to Father's wards. All the same, I activated the card and tried to send a message. No matter how hard I tried, no words would appear on the card.

Trying not to panic, I pocketed the card and took hold of my necklace so that it was hanging on the outside of my robes. I took the pearl between my two index fingers, as Snape had instructed long ago, and waited. My heart pounded as nothing happened, but then, after what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only about fifteen seconds, it glowed red.

I tried to subdue my sigh of relief as I tucked it safely under my clothes again. The magic of the pearl must have been stronger than the magic of the card. Perhaps there was a technicality that allowed the magic of the pearl to get through Father's wards.

Even though I had sent Snape a warning that I was in danger, I didn't know how he was going to help me. We were in a location guarded by a Fidelius Charm. I couldn't see how Snape could possibly find me. And the whole thing couldn't possibly be hushed up. After all, all the fifth year students would know that I wasn't there. The news that I was missing would travel. I couldn't imagine that the Dark Lord would be impressed to have one missing Death Eater, and the son of that Death Eater, another supposedly faithful servant, searching for me.

But it was all I could do for now and my time was nearly up. I wouldn't put it past Rougier to barge in. I flushed the toilet and turned the water on at the basin for a few seconds. Finally, trying to get my pounding heart under control again, I took a deep breath and opened the door.

I nearly bumped into Rougier, who had kept her word and was standing right outside the door.

Barely sparing me a glance, she turned on her heel and walked back down the corridor to the main room. I followed, wondering what we were going to do until Father got back.

Rougier pointed a slender finger in the direction of the old green armchair in a corner. "Sit there," she ordered. "And keep quiet. I've got to conjure things for this room, and as you have no access to a wand, you'll be of no use." She smirked. "Though, it's not like you're much use with a wand."

Ignoring the urge to roll my eyes, I crossed the room towards the armchair.

"Stop!" she commanded.

I turned around and looked questioningly at her.

She had a look of disgust on her face. "Have you not remembered anything I taught you last December? I did _not_ teach you to walk like that."

Personally, I thought there was nothing wrong with the way I walked. It was no different to the way Lisa or Hermione or any other of my friends walked. After walking 'like a lady' day after day while Rougier was a Father's house, I had resumed my usual walk once I had gotten back to Hogwarts.

"Go back and start again," Rougier instructed, folding her arms and raising her chin so she was looking down at me. It was really unnecessary; I was a lot shorter than her anyway.

Rather than offer a customary sarcastic remark, as I knew I would have done last December, I quietly went back and began again, this time trying to imitate the walk Rougier had demonstrated the last time.

It ended up taking five attempts before Rougier was satisfied. I thought I had walked fine each time, but I knew the rotten hag was just baiting me to snap at her.

Venting just a little of my frustration, I sat down onto the armchair with a little more force than necessary, and was surprised when I felt something small hit me just above my knee. Looking down, I couldn't see anything, but my senses came to me and I realised that it was something in the hem of my skirt.

I waited until Rougier had turned around before I moved my hand and felt the hem. As I felt it, I realised at once what it was and was thankful that I hadn't squeezed it too hard.

Knockout Powder. A gift from Fred and George Weasley last Easter. In a strange way, it had been a present for Snape, but they had given it to me. Fred and George had been grateful that Snape had seemed to help them with the right combinations of potions ingredients during their detentions. Because they had believed that Snape would never acknowledge doing such a thing, the Weasley twins had given me a gift bag instead, containing products that included those that had only come into existence due to their Potions Professor's help.

I knew the Knockout Powder was one such product. I had read the instructions for it on the night I had received it, shortly before the twins' departure from the school, and I had carried it around in the hem of my school skirt since, just like their sister Ginny did. It consisted of a small grey pod, and a small packet of gum. To activate the pod, I had to break the seal and drop it, which would make a yellow vapour to appear. If this was inhaled, it would knock out anyone within a couple of metres. By chewing on the gum, I would be immune to the vapour.

I was so thankful that I had been taken by Father whilst in school uniform. I had completely forgotten that it was there! It was light enough that I generally couldn't feel it when walking around. It was lucky that I had sat down with enough force to notice it.

There was the issue of when would I use it. Would I use it when Rougier and Father were both there, or just Rougier? Would I activate it while backs were turned or would I be able to find another way when I could be completely sure that they weren't looking?

I sat contemplating this as I watched Rougier at work. She was busy using magic to attempt to fix the wallpaper. She had already tried fixing the carpet and had made little progress. It seemed the carpet didn't want to be fixed. The wizard who had lived here years ago had probably fixed it so many times that the carpet was too full of magic to respond to any more. So far, it seemed the wallpaper was going to be just the same.

If I used the Knockout Powder while both Father and Rougier were around, there was a higher risk of being caught out. I couldn't guarantee that they would both be near the pod once I had dropped it. I could drop it just as one of them walked away, and then I would have the problem of one berating me (at the very least) for doing such a thing, whilst the other was on the floor. If I was caught out in this way, I could be sure that measures would be taken to make sure I had no such opportunity again. They were being quite lenient at the moment with letting me move about.

I could always whip it out and drop it while Rougier's back was turned, like it was now. But then there was the risk of having trouble with breaking the seal before I dropped it. What if Rougier turned around whilst I was breaking the seal? What if I threw it down in her direction and she got away before she had inhaled the vapour?

I decided that I couldn't possibly do it while both Father and Rougier were there. There was too much chance that the vapour would only hit one, if any, and then I would have to deal with the consequences. I only had one pod to spare. If I failed, then I was stuck here.

The only way that I could guarantee that it would only hit one without the other seeing straightaway was by putting it somewhere in the bathroom…or by dropping it in there on my next trip, and opening the door for Rougier of Father to inhale, depending on whoever was waiting outside the door. It would probably be Rougier, as Father wouldn't bother himself with such a task. Rougier would be knocked out, and then I would take her wand and use a stunning spell on her just to be safe.

Then there was the question of my father. He would either be somewhere else in the house or out in the grounds. I wished the situation could be different so that Father was the one knocked out, and Rougier was the one I had to deal with. It would just be easier that way. I had a strong feeling that Rougier was nowhere near as good with a wand.

But planning a way to knock out Father was no where near as easy. Also, I didn't know if he had already been clever enough to take potions (containing the same or similar ingredients to the chewing gum) that would immunise him against such substances. Snape had once told me that some wizards did that sort of thing when they didn't trust those around them. Of course, they couldn't be immunised against all vapours or substances, but I didn't want to take the chance that Father would only get a small headache from inhaling the potion. If that happened, I would get more than a headache in retaliation from him. I knew Fred and George's vapour was an innovative one, but still, I didn't want to take the chance.

I would have to knock out Rougier and then deal with Father. How? It was beyond me. I didn't know if his duelling skills had become weak enough, or if mine had become strong enough. Also, once I got out, I would have no idea where to go because I didn't have the faintest idea where I was. It perturbed me that if I did manage to escape, I had a forest and more of Father's wards to deal with outside. I didn't know if they would let me through. It could all come to nothing. I could escape from both of them only to find that there was some sort of barrier to stop me from leaving.

I wouldn't use it until I had heard Father's story though. He had to have a good reason for keeping me here like this. I wasn't about to waste my only possible escape route; I needed as much information as possible.

After having limited success with the wallpaper, Rougier began conjuring more things for the room. She conjured another couple of green armchairs, in much better condition than the one I was currently confined to, and chairs to go around the table.

Satisfied with her work, she pocketed her wand and looked around at me.

"It's unusual to have you so quiet," she commented. "Normally you would have offered a scathing remark or attempted to insult me in your uncouth way several times by now."

I stared back at her. "What would you like me to say?" I asked quietly.

She narrowed her eyes. "I prefer it when you don't talk at all. Your speech does nothing to improve your character. I was merely commenting on your lack of unnecessary remarks."

"Oh," I said. "Well, you did tell me to stay quiet, so I did. I was just obliging you."

Her mouth twitched and she gave me a curious look, as if trying to determine if I was really mocking her authority after all. I would never follow her instructions out of respect. I was only following them because it suited me at present.

Offering no more conversation, Rougier turned and went and sat down at the table, facing me so she could watch me. She reached for the cardboard boxes on the table and began pulling some food out of them. Before long, she had various vegetables being cut up magically with knives, whilst she had conjured some sort of small stove and was busy adding some ingredients to a pot.

At first I wondered why she hadn't demanded that I help her, as I was sure she would have loved to have made me do everything without magic. But then I realised that knives were involved and she didn't trust me with a knife.

There was a piece of irony. It would be a weird thing to escape from Rougier by brandishing a knife in her direction. I didn't associate knives with escape; I associated them with Shar and the day he had attacked me in Merle's kitchen. It would be strangely ironic to get out of another dire situation by means of a knife. Clearly, Rougier had thought about the repercussions of letting a hostage near a knife.

"Why isn't there a kitchen here?" I asked suddenly.

Rougier looked up from her ingredients. "This is a one bedroom house," she said shortly. "Your father's bedroom was the kitchen. There was too much old and very stubborn magic holding this house together to allow us to add another room. It was enough that your father managed to transform the kitchen into a bedroom."

"You make it seem like he wasn't competent enough for the task," I said, keeping my tone conversational.

Rougier glared at me just the same. "I merely meant that there was stubborn old magic holding the cracked tiles to the kitchen walls. It took a lot of advanced magic on your father's part to be rid of the tiles and kitchen bench."

"Oh," I said. "Did he do that this morning or something?"

"Yes," she said, looking annoyed by my sudden willingness to chatter. "Enough talk."

I nodded, feeling a little happy and little nervous at the same time. I knew that though he was very skilled in performing advanced magic, it tired Father out a lot more these days. Chances were that he was using more advanced magic out in the grounds right now. That meant that when he returned tonight, he would be exhausted. This was one of the reasons that he was not of great use in the Dark Lord's active roles for Death Eaters. His use of advanced magic tired him now because he had not learned to refine his use of it during his youth.

All of this meant that my best chance of escape would be tonight when I was allowed my final use of the bathroom before bed. I would have to knock out whoever was standing guard outside the bathroom door, take a wand and defend myself against the other person. This was a big ask, but it was time to put the mental duelling shield Snape and I had been working on for so long into practice.

I didn't really fancy wandering out into the forest during the night, but if I waited until morning, Father would be more rested and more in control of his magic. I just sincerely hoped that Father would tell me all I needed to know before it was time to go to bed.

I didn't move from the chair for the rest of the afternoon. Rougier prepared the ingredients, but didn't start cooking them. Instead, she opened a book and only spared me a glance every time she turned a page.

I spent time contemplating the possible creatures out in the forest. I hoped there were no werewolves. There could be unicorns, or Abraxans or even Thestrals. I wondered if the magical creatures would be able to see me if the house and grounds were under the Fidelius Charm.

Though I spent a lot of time thinking about how much I knew about defending myself against magical creatures (provided they could see me), my thoughts kept wandering back to my brother. I wondered what he was doing right now. I wondered how long it would be before I saw him again. I didn't want to think about the possibility of _never _seeing him again.

At six o'clock, Rougier put her book down and began cooking dinner. Father came home not long after, and I was pleased to note that he was looking quite weary.

After removing his cloak, he nodded at Rougier, who handed him a glass of wine, kissed me in greeting and then sank into the newly conjured armchair next to me.

"I see the magic in the wallpaper and carpet here proved to be just as obstinate as the magic in the kitchen, Zita," he commented, looking around the room.

Rougier looked up from her magical stove and gave him a grim smile. "Obstinate is an understatement."

Father let out a dry laugh. "Well, everything else you've conjured will work out fine." He took a sip of his wine and then turned to me. "And what have you been doing this afternoon, Armilla?"

I thought answering with a simple "nothing" would not come across well. I still told the truth though. "Madame Rougier told me to sit here, and so I've been sitting here ever since," I said, using the most polite tone I could muster.

Father raised an eyebrow as he turned back to Rougier. "Zita, have you left my daughter sitting here like this all afternoon with nothing to occupy her?"

Rougier flushed. "Well, I was busy, sir, and I needed Armilla out of harm's way while I was conjuring magic."

Father looked far from impressed. "Well, the next time I am absent, Zita," he said, his voice cold, "I suggest you occupy Armilla with a suitable book from the collection I brought with me, or else converse with her about something educational. I taught Severus from the moment he was walking that idleness is not a virtue, and I won't have Armilla being idle either."

"Very well, sir," said Rougier, looking a little put out. "I apologise. I-"

Father waved his hand towards me. "You are Armilla's governess. It is my daughter who is owed an apology."

If I had been in a happier and more relaxed mood, I would have laughed at the slightly affronted look on Rougier's face. Forcing her face into a calm expression, she looked at me.

"I apologise for keeping you unoccupied this afternoon, Armilla," she said stiffly.

Father looked expectantly at me.

"That's alright," I said, looking back at Rougier.

Father nodded. "Well then, that's settled." He took a sip of his wine and Rougier stared determinedly down at the pot on the stove.

"Are you back to stay?" I asked softly, looking at Father.

His usually cold black eyes held something different in them as he looked back at me. It wasn't warmth, but it wasn't something negative either.

He shook his head. "No, I am not quite finished," he said quietly. "I will have to go out again later on tonight. But I will stay here with you for the next couple of hours."

I nodded. "Thankyou."

It was better for me if I made it seem like I wanted Father's company. It made him think that I felt secure with him. If I acted indifferent to his company then that would cause him to be suspicious.

"Can you tell me why we're here before you go again?" I asked, again keeping my voice soft. Any tone that seemed the slightest bit demanding would not go down well with Father.

He sighed, and took another sip of his wine. "I did promise you I would," he answered. "I am tired, but I will tell you."

I remained silent.

"Neither Severus or I let you in on the details of our lives as Death Eaters," he began, leaning back in his chair.

I shot an alarmed look at Rougier.

"It's alright," said Father, looking from me to Rougier. "Zita does know the details of this and she _will_ be keeping it to herself."

Rougier looked up long enough to give Father a brief nod. I wondered what kind of painful death she had hanging over her if she betrayed Father.

"As I was saying," Father went on, "Severus and I made the joint decision to keep our lives as Death Eaters separate from you." He suddenly sneered. "I am still not convinced that Severus really supports our Master's side, but that is another story."

I offered no comment to this; I waited for Father to continue instead.

"I am not as young as I once was, Armilla," he said quietly, staring straight ahead. "I am not as much use in the Dark Lord's…ah…more active roles."

Ah, just as I had thought.

"I can design hexes and contribute ideas, but I have come to accept that my place in the Dark Lord's circle is no longer what it once was."

Now he actually looked a little depressed.

"Lucius Malfoy," he continued, suddenly looking contemptuous, "still holds a valuable place in our Master's eyes. In fact, he was called upon to play a leading role in an act at the Ministry today."

What? Something was going on at the Ministry?

"There is a valuable weapon that our Master wants from the Department if Mysteries. I was not asked to join the group of Death Eaters involved in the task. However, Lucius Malfoy was told that if he was successful, he would be greatly rewarded." Now Father looked depressed again.

"Do you know what kind of reward?" I asked.

He let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, yes, I certainly know. Lucius couldn't wait to tell me. He told his son, and he told me. Lucius was bold enough to request a reward of the Dark Lord."

"He grants requests?" I asked. That seemed a little strange.

Father shook his head. "Not usually, no. This was an exception. I believe the Dark Lord only offered to grant the reward to give Lucius something to work towards…something he really wanted."

"What's the reward?" I asked softly.

Father sighed and looked over at me, his dark eyes meeting mine. "He promised Lucius that if he was successful, he would command your brother and I to acknowledge you and Draco as a betrothed couple."

I stared back at him, his words echoing in my head. Betrothed couple? Draco Malfoy and I? I had received many shocks in the past eight months, but feeling yet another one, and not the first that day, did not make the sensation any easier to deal with.

"But…" I began, not exactly sure where my words were taking me, "We can't be. I…" I couldn't really explain to Father how I felt about the idea of being engaged to Draco Malfoy. I knew very well that he wouldn't understand. In fact, I knew that my reasons for not wanting to marry Draco would be of little consequence to Father.

"There's no need to offer your opinion on the subject," he said shortly, confirming my thoughts. "I do not approve of an engagement between you and the offspring of Lucius Malfoy."

Ah, well _that_ was reassuring in a strange way.

"I always had the impression that you did approve," I said, meeting his gaze again.

He studied me for a moment, through slightly narrowed dark eyes, which didn't resemble my brother's at all in my opinion.

"It was always a possibility," he said finally. "The Malfoys are a respectable pureblood family whose level of wealth is certainly acceptable to my expectations for my daughter. However, I have not made an agreement with any family, though I assure you that I have had many offers since I hosted our dinner party last December."

Offers? Was I up for auction or something? I very much wanted to make a remark about using my inheritance to bid for myself so I could lead a spinster's life, but I didn't think my father would accept that kind of talk, no matter what his mood was. I was fairly certain that such a statement would have cracked a small smile on my brother's face. As he had repeatedly told Mother, he was more than satisfied with leading a single life.

"When Lucius told me of his promised reward," Father went on, "I was furious. How dare he request such a thing? You are not the Dark Lord's to give away to another Death Eater's child."

Well there was an interesting statement. Father resented the Dark Lord using his power in that way, yet I was sure Father had happily acquiesced in the past when it came to murdering innocent people. After all, the lives of those people weren't my father's or the Dark Lord's to take. My future was not my father's or the Dark Lord's to control either, yet my father failed to understand that.

"Lucius and I have had a number of arguments about it ever since," said Father bitterly. "He doesn't see why I consider it an offence to bring the Dark Lord into the situation. He fails to see my point that _I_ am the head of my family, not the Dark Lord, and it was not his place to meddle."

"So if Mr Malfoy is successful in the Department of Mysteries," I said slowly, "then there's nothing we can do to stop Draco and I becoming engaged?"

"Yes, I've already taken the steps to prevent it," said Father. "That is why you're currently here rather than Hogwarts. Draco cannot officially become engaged to you if you cannot be found."

"And if Mr Malfoy fails?"

"Then we shall remain here until I decide it is safe for us to rejoin society," he said curtly. "I have means by which to find out the outcome of today's plan at the Ministry, but I will not be able to access the information until tomorrow morning. I have no idea what time it is all to take place, but I expect it to be sometime this evening."

Knowing that I was pushing my luck, I asked a dangerous question anyway. "Won't the Dark Lord be wondering where you are?"

Father flashed me a warning glare, but decided to answer the question all the same. "I have…fallen out of favour with the Dark Lord lately…I had been trying to hinder Lucius in any way I could before today's events came about…it did not turn out well and I was discovered by our Master." Father's face twitched slightly. "He was not pleased. In any case I was ordered to play no involvement in the Ministry plans and so here I am, far away from it."

This sounded extremely dangerous for me if I wanted to get out. I wondered if I was perhaps safer staying right here where I was. Should I wait until the morning to find out whether Lucius Malfoy was successful? If he had been successful, Father might increase the strength of the wards even more. At the moment, I didn't know the nature of the wards or even if I had a chance of escaping. If I did escape, I had no idea how to get back to Hogwarts. I just prayed that if I did escape, my chocolate frog card would work and I would be able to contact Snape.

But what if the Dark Lord was monitoring Snape's movements because he had a missing Death Eater who was a relative? Provided he knew about it, the Dark Lord would not look kindly on my father's disappearance. It was possible that the Dark Lord might think that Snape was hiding his father and sister. At least Snape could honestly say that he knew nothing about it.

"Why didn't Mr Malfoy tell Severus about the plan?" I asked.

Father sneered. "Because he didn't receive a very good reaction from _me_. Lucius already knew the tetchy attitude Severus showed when the subject of your marriage came up. Seeing as he didn't receive the expected reaction from me, he didn't bother springing the news on Severus, and became tight-lipped about it."

"Why didn't you tell Severus about it?" I asked, being very careful to leave all traces of resentment out of my voice.

"Simply because he would have gotten in the way of my plans to hide you."

"Oh." I knew Snape would never have agreed to let me go into hiding with Father. I knew that if he had known of the situation, he would have appealed to Dumbledore or devised his own measures for my protection.

"That explains why Draco's suddenly changed towards me," I said suddenly.

"Yes, Severus said as much when he came to see me recently," said Father, nodding. "Sounds like Draco has become as arrogant as his father."

"Wouldn't Draco have known that his father would be at the Ministry this afternoon?" I asked. "He would have been confused to see his father at Hogwarts."

Father nodded. "I disguised myself as Lucius because I could guarantee that the real Lucius would be at the Ministry. When I saw Draco in the corridor he asked me what time I was going to be at the Ministry and I rebuked him for being interfering where it wasn't his business. I asked him at that point if he had seen you and luckily you came along then."

"Excuse the interruption," came Rougier's voice from the other side of the room, "but dinner is ready."

"Excellent," said Father, standing up. "Come, Armilla."

I stood up, but suddenly became very nervous about the idea of eating whatever Rougier had prepared for me. How did I know that she hadn't added some sort of potion that would make me more acquiescent to their bidding? It was far too suspicious that I had the freedom to move around the house, even if one of them had to be with me at all times.

"I don't think I'll eat," I said to Father, who was sitting down at the table. "I'm not hungry."

"Nonsense," he said, sending me another glare. "Zita has gone to the trouble of preparing a meal. You will sit down at the table and eat it."

Rougier flashed me a nasty smile as she refilled Father's glass with wine.

I was stuck. I didn't trust either of them not to have tampered with my food. If I didn't eat though, I knew I could expect a hex from Father.

"Sit down, Armilla," Father said impatiently.

I sat down, but didn't start eating like the other two. Rougier had prepared some sort of satay dish, and my food looked exactly like theirs, but still I didn't want to touch it.

"Eat!" Father snapped, shooting me a vicious look.

"It's alright, sir," Rougier simpered, giving him an understanding smile. "I am an experienced governess and I've had plenty of children in the past make mealtimes a trial. When you go out later on, I can make sure Armilla eats a sufficient amount."

In my attempt not to send a vicious glare her way, I bit very hard on my lip. I knew what Rougier meant. She had a wand, and I didn't, and I wouldn't put it past her to force-feed.

"That will not be necessary," said Father, shaking his head. "Armilla should have no reason to think that we've put something in her food." He gave me a meaningful look.

Ah, so he knew why I didn't want to eat.

"I haven't put anything in her food!" said Rougier, looking affronted.

"Armilla is very shrewd about these sorts of things," said Father quietly. "Not unlike her brother. I must say that it is not a bad habit to be in, just in case she is ever in the company of people who cannot be trusted. However," he looked over at me with a stern expression on his face, "You are in the company of people you _can_ trust, and so you should have no reason to suspect that something unsavoury has been added to your meal."

I said nothing, and did nothing.

Father sighed and picked up a clean fork. "Excuse my brief lack of table manners," he said politely to Rougier. He reached over and picked a small piece of meat off my plate with his fork, and then ate it himself.

Still, I said nothing.

"As you can see, Armilla," he said, after swallowing. "Nothing has changed. There is nothing wrong with your food."

Yes, but he might have consumed the antidote. I was probably being paranoid, but I would rather face a hex from Father than eat the food. Actually, I was terribly thirsty, but I didn't want to drink the water on the table either. That was another reason to keep to my plans and escape later that night. If I stayed, then eventually I would have to eat their food and drink the water.

That was it. I was going to attempt to free myself tonight. After Father had gone, I would make use of my last trip to the bathroom before bed and drop the Knockout Powder pod in there. If it failed to knock out Rougier, then I was in trouble. But it was the only plan I had.

After that, there was the risk of facing my father out in the grounds. I didn't know how big the forest was, but I certainly didn't want to meet Father out there. Then there was the question of if I was able to get through the wards. I didn't know what kind of wards were in place.

And if I was lucky enough to manage that, then there was the question of getting back to my brother and staying out of danger.

I had no one to confide in as to whether it was a foolish plan. It could be a remarkably ambitious plan. But, if Lucius Malfoy _was_ successful, then I would rather have my safety measures determined by my brother rather than my father.

"What is the problem, Armilla?" asked Father irritably, still glaring at me.

"I don't want to eat," I said quietly. I had no other excuse to offer. Feigning sickness would do no good, because Rougier would just whip out potions to cure whatever I claimed I had.

"Honestly, sir, I can make sure she eats later," Rougier insisted, looking impatient herself. "Severus probably doesn't bother to make sure she eats at mealtimes."

Ha. That's all _you_ know. Snape was weird about me eating everything on my plate.

Father sighed as he looked from the governess to me. "My patience is wearing very thin, child. I don't know what nonsense your brother puts up with, but I will not tolerate it. I will overlook this behaviour tonight seeing as I did put you through an unfavourable ordeal this afternoon."

Rougier was looking resentful as she looked from me to Father. I was very much relieved; I honestly thought I was about to be on the receiving end of one of Father's creative hexes. My father was so unpredictable. He could almost appear understanding and nearly human at times, and seem like a barbarian at others.

"But be _warned_, Armilla," Father continued, his voice severe. "Tomorrow is a new day and I will expect you to eat everything you are given, or else suffer dire consequences."

"Yes, Father." Hopefully I wouldn't be around tomorrow to eat Rougier's food.

He nodded. "Very well," he said curtly. He picked up his wand and I held my breath, waiting for the hex to come. "_Accio book box._"

I quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

A small cardboard box on the floor, which had been sitting on the table when I had arrived, zoomed over to father and he caught it so it wouldn't land in his dinner. He rifled through it for a moment before pulling out a thin hard-covered book. "Here you are," he said, handing it to me.

I looked down at the cover. _Gourmet Cooking for Wizarding Families_ by Maddison Lawson and Margaret Joy.

"Of course, I don't expect you'll ever do a lot of cooking," said Father, his eyes fixed on the book in my hands. "You'll marry into a family with at least one House Elf and of course, you'll inherit Jiffy upon my death."

Urgh. I did _not_ want Jiffy in my home. I loved Docky very much, but Jiffy was another case entirely.

"However," he went on, "It is beneficial to have knowledge of those recipes and what meals go well together at dinner parties and so on. I expect you to study this tonight."

"Yes, Father." Oh boy, what fun. Actually, I preferred to read a recipe book over the books I had to read at Snape Manor about the role of a pureblood witch.

"You're excused then. Go and sit over there," he said, nodding at the armchairs we'd just been sitting in.

Thankful to leave the table, I got up and sat down in the armchair I had been sitting in before. Father and Rougier resumed their dinner, and I noticed that there was very little conversation between the two.

I would have loved to have known why Rougier was the Secret Keeper. Last I had heard, Rougier was unavailable to fill the role of my governess. Father had asked Mary Donahey, Tonk's persona, to fill the role instead. I had thought Rougier had said she was unavailable because of my brother's threat. So why was she here now? Had Father threatened her?

I turned the pages of the book, not paying a lot of attention to the recipes that were there. My thoughts turned to Snape. I wondered what he was doing at that moment. Was he at Hogwarts? He would have contacted Dumbledore about my disappearance. All I wanted was to be sitting with him in the sitting room in the dungeons at Hogwarts. Actually, I hadn't planned on staying in the dungeons tonight. I had planned on celebrating the end of exams with Lisa and Terry and the other Ravenclaws in the common room. I wondered what Lisa and Terry were doing right now.

I then thought about what Lucius Malfoy was doing at that moment. Snape never told me about Death Eater activities, so I didn't know whether or not he knew about the assignment at the Ministry of Magic.

My thoughts went everywhere from my friends, to my mother, to Merle, to Shar, to Rougier, to Father, to Draco Malfoy and especially to my brother. I wanted him badly, and I didn't know if I would see him again.

Thinking about my brother, I suddenly thought about what he would say if he knew what I was thinking about at the moment. I could guarantee that he would sneer and tell me to occupy my mind with the plan to get out and get myself to safety. I could almost hear his sneering voice say _"Now is not the time to think about all of us. Get moving on a plan to get out, you silly girl."_

So for the rest of the time Father spent at the table with Rougier, I replayed over and over how I would knock out Rougier later that evening. It was a little hard to plan what I would do once I got outside, but the range of protective charms Snape had taught me had to serve their purpose.

When the meal had ended, Father picked up a book and sat down in the chair next to me. Not saying a word, he opened his book and was soon absorbed in it. I supposed he was waiting for more of his magical strength to return before he went outside again.

Rougier went about cleaning up and then disappeared into our bedroom. I guessed that she was improving the look of the room in there. It certainly wasn't very impressive as it currently was. I couldn't imagine someone like Rougier being comfortable sleeping in such a room. That was another reason I didn't want to stay. If I was forced to share a room with Rougier, it would be a difficult task trying to stay awake. I certainly would not let myself sleep because I didn't trust Rougier. I doubted I would sleep tonight anyway, since I would be wandering the forest, but at least it would be easier to stay awake that way.

Confident that I knew exactly what I was doing once the opportunity for my bathroom visit came about, I began to concentrate properly on some of the recipes in the book. I was worried that Father would test me on some of them before he left. I had luckily escaped a hex before, and it would certainly not do now to receive one when I wanted to be in a good state to escape. Good enough anyway. I was thirsty, hungry and very tired, not to mention the fact that I really did need to use the bathroom.

Out of no where, my brother's voice suddenly came into my head. _"Well go to the bloody bathroom then! I'm not stopping you!"_

I nearly smiled. I had never forgotten that night in the Secret Wing. It was the night I had gone sleep-walking and Snape had chased me through corridors as I had searched for the puddle in my dream. In the end, I had been very embarrassed and in great need to use the bathroom. But at least I had found out what the puddle had meant. And Snape had enjoyed making snide remarks about the puddle dream ever since.

I imagined what he'd say about me thinking about that. _ "Stop thinking about things that aren't going to help you, Armilla_." Yes, Severus.

Rougier came back into the room at ten past eight. She sat down at the table with a sewing box and began to use magic to direct a needle and thread through a piece of material.

It wasn't until eight-thirty that Father finally closed his book and stood up. "Well, I have business to attend to outside," he announced. He leaned down and kissed me. "Goodnight, Armilla. I want you to go to bed soon."

"Would you like me to test her on what she has learned from that book, sir?" Rougier asked, looking up from her sewing.

You twisted hag. You only want to test me so you can hex me for getting something wrong.

Father shook his head. "No, that won't be necessary."

Good heavens. Was he going soft? I never knew where I stood with that man.

Father put on his cloak and was gone a moment later.

Rougier went back to her sewing without another word and I looked back down at my book, my heart pounding. It was going to happen soon. I had to stay in control. Snape had taught me Occlumency for a reason, not to mention all the other skills. I was _not_ going to fail him.

At nine o'clock, Rougier put her sewing away.

"Well, come along then," she said curtly. "It's time you went to bed. God knows you _need_ the beauty sleep."

Biting back a vicious retort, I put my book down and stood up.

"You may use the bathroom first, and then go straight to bed," she said, walking down the corridor and gesturing for me to follow.

I didn't reply. I just followed her.

She turned around when she had reached the door to the bathroom. "You have three minutes," she said, a nasty smile playing about her lips.

I moved past her and closed the door. As quickly as I could, I actually did use the bathroom because I didn't fancy finding a place to go out in the forest. I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and then quickly reached into the hem of my skirt and pulled out the pod and gum.

I quietly opened the packet of gum and hastily put it into my mouth and began to chew very hard. It was a strange flavour that I couldn't identify.

Occluding very hard, and staying very calm, I carefully broke the seal on the pod. I stood behind the door and dropped the pod onto the floor. Immediately a yellow vapour rose out of it.

"Hurry up!" came Rougier's muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Still chewing on the gum, I opened the door just wide enough so that Rougier wouldn't see the pod on the floor.

She did see the yellow vapour though.

Her face contorted with fury. "What on earth is-"

I never heard what she was going to say next. Her eyes rolled back into her head and a moment later she collapsed on the floor with a thud, clearly knocked out.

I grinned. "Excellent."

I reached down and felt in the pockets of her robes. I pulled out her wand and pointed it at her.

"_Stupefy!_"

I cast the spell just to be safe. I didn't know how long it would take for the vapour to wear off. I felt in her other pockets for anything of use, but found nothing else there except for the chocolate frog packet that she had confiscated from me before. Though she had thrown it on the table at the time, she had snuck it into her pocket later. I nearly laughed. So Rougier liked chocolate frogs after all. I knew it was my chocolate frog because there was a small rip in one corner. Terry had accidentally made the rip when the packet had gotten stuck to another packet and he was trying to separate them.

I kept Rougier's wand in my hand. I wanted my own wand back, but Father had it and I doubted I would get it back.

I pulled Rougier into the bathroom and then went out, closing the door behind me. I performed a complicated locking charm on the door, another of Snape's inventions.

I could have searched through the house for things to take with me, but I didn't know what time Father was getting back and I wanted to be gone by the time he did.

Still holding Rougier's wand, I turned to walk back down the corridor when I heard the front door open. I froze. Then I heard the door being closed.

Father was back.


	69. The Emerald

Chapter 68

I didn't know whether Father's arrival back at the house was a good thing or not. If we had to duel, I wasn't sure if I preferred to do it in the house or outside. I had no idea what creatures lurked in the darkness outside.

Thinking quickly, I quietly used Rougier's wand to cast an invisible bubble shield around myself, just like the one I had used months ago when I had anticipated that Pansy Parkinson would attack me. I didn't like the feel of Rougier's wand. It followed my directions easily enough, but it didn't feel as strong as my own. Considering that strength came from within the person, my thoughts about the strength of the wand must have come from my discomfort at the foreign touch.

I made the decision to pocket the wand. If I appeared around the corner holding a wand then Father would know that I had attacked Rougier. I had to keep him from knowing that fact for as long as possible. At the moment, he would be completely oblivious.

Pushing the wand into one of the pockets of my robes, I went out into the main room where I found Father drinking a glass of water.

"Ah, Armilla," he said, when he caught sight of me. "Off to bed, are you?"

"Yes, Father," I replied. "You're back to stay now?"

He gave me a small smile, as he put the glass on the table. "I promise you that I am back for the entire night. I may have to go out again for a few hours in the morning, but you know that you will have Madame Rougier here with you."

I nodded. I was not about to get into another discussion about the fact that Rougier's presence afforded me little comfort, other than the occasional sarcastic remark that I had to keep to myself.

"Where is Madame Rougier?" Father asked, walking down the corridor.

"In the bathroom," I replied, walking after him. "She's going to bed too."

Father nodded as his opened his bedroom door. "As am I," he said. "Very well then. Goodnight my dear."

"Goodnight Father," I said softly, as he went into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. I didn't risk performing a locking charm on Father's door. Chances were Father would know an extensive range of unlocking charms, more complicated than Alohomora.

I stood in the corridor for a moment, contemplating what to do. Should I make a break for it now? What if Father suddenly came out again? Should I wait until I could be fairly certain that he'd be asleep? But maybe he would come out to use the bathroom.

I opened my bedroom door, waited a moment, and then closed it again without entering the room. At least if Father had heard it he would think that I had gone to bed.

I silently walked back into the main room and made my way over to the door, wondering if Father had locked it.

I tried the doorknob. It was locked. I took a deep breath in an effort to soothe my pounding heart, and then I took Rougier's wand out and cast an Alohomora.

Nothing happened.

Trying not to lose faith, I tried another unlocking spell, a slightly more complicated one that Snape had taught me. Snape was fairly innovative when it came to locking and unlocking charms.

Again, nothing happened.

I tried three more spells I knew before I started to feel desperate. I had to get out. Father could come out and discover me any second. What if I couldn't find a spell to get out and I ended up there all night? Father would come out in the morning and discover Rougier. Perhaps I would have to rescue Rougier in the middle of the night and obliviate her or something and then pretend nothing had happened. As it was, I was going to be in huge trouble if I didn't find a way out soon.

I started to occlude harder than ever to stop myself becoming emotional. There was no time for screaming insults at a locked door. But, if I didn't find a way out, then the use of Fred and George's Knockout Powder would have been for nothing. I had nothing else to help me escape.

I went to move my left hand to rub my head, which had begun to ache, but something got caught on my robes. Looking down, I saw that the locket on my bracelet had gotten caught on a loose piece of thread. With my right hand, I released it, and moved my wrist so I could have a closer look at the bracelet.

What good was it now? The bracelet would help protect me if I was in peril. It wouldn't save me from death, but I couldn't rely on it to give me some help until death was on the cards, and I prayed that death wasn't coming anytime soon.

I rubbed my thumb over the emerald on the locket. I knew the bracelet had many powers, but it had nothing that could help me now. How could I expect it to help me now? It hadn't done a thing when Shar had attacked me. My bracelet hadn't flashed then. Or had it? I would have to ask Snape…if I ever saw him again…

I looked down at the emerald locket that I now held between my index finger and thumb. _What good are you now?_ I thought. _Father won't let me go, but I need to get out. Why can't you do anything?_

I suppressed a gasp as the emerald glowed and a small beam of light shot out of it.

What was this for? How would a beam of light help me?

My Ravenclaw instincts suddenly caught up with me. It wasn't casting a light so I could see. The light was used as a means of bringing out the bracelet's magic! _To serve my purpose_, I thought.

I aimed the beam of light at the keyhole. I heard a faint click as the door unlocked. I heaved a sigh of relief. I was free.

My heart pounding more than ever, I quietly opened the door and went out. The cold of the night hit me as soon as I went out. I had no idea if we were still in the same country. I closed the door behind me as softly as I could and then used the beam of light to lock the door again. As soon as I heard the lock move, the light vanished and the emerald stopped glowing.

I couldn't understand what had happened. I had been in tight spots before where I had needed to find an escape. Why hadn't the bracelet helped me then? I didn't think it was just a matter of touching the locket and urging it to meet my current needs. That seemed a little too easy. I couldn't fathom how it could have just unlocked the door to let me out. Why hadn't it helped me escape from Shar?

I shook my head. I had more important things to think about at the moment. I hadn't truly escaped yet. I was still on Father's grounds. I had to move away quickly. I feared Father might have put an alarm on his locking charm.

I cast the bubble charm on myself again and then moved quietly away into the darkness. I was quite far from the house before I broke into a run. I didn't know where I was going; I just had to get as far away from the house as I could. As I ran, the forest atmosphere seemed to become more intimidating. It could have been my imagination, but being alone in the forest made you much more anxious when it came to hearing strange noises. I met no creatures as I ran, but I didn't know if I was imagining the strange noises I kept hearing off in the distance behind me. Running at such a pace meant much more pain when I had to dodge between tree branches or bushes. The scrapes and cuts I received, as well as the few rips on my robes would have to wait.

Finally, when I could run no further, I slowed down to a walk, willing my pounding heart to return to normal. Several moments later, I stopped and leaned against a tree. I reached for my necklace and pressed my index fingers against the pearl. Though I had already sent a warning to Snape, having him receive another one would ensure him that I was still alive.

After seeing the pearl turn red, I tucked it away again. I didn't dare take my chocolate frog card out. I didn't think it would work on the grounds either, but I didn't know if any creatures sitting in the trees were acting as some sort of spies for my father. If that was the case, I had already exposed the pearl.

I sighed, rubbing my throbbing head. What to do now? I took out Rougier's wand and cast a locator spell. It wouldn't work. Nothing I could say would point me in the right direction.

_Use the bracelet_, a voice in my head said.

I was feeling a little doubtful, as having the bracelet help me again just seemed too lucky. However, I ignored my cynical side and reached down to rub the emerald again. _Point me to an exit so I can escape Father_, I thought.

The cynical side of my personality received a good bashing as the emerald glowed and omitted a faint green light that pointed towards my left. It lasted for a few seconds before vanishing.

There was nothing else to do except follow the guidance of the bracelet, so I broke off into a run in the direction in which the bracelet had indicated.

I ran for what felt like over half an hour, renewing my bubble charm every now and then. Occasionally I would slow down as my body screamed for me to stop. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink in such a long time. Finally I stopped long enough to conjure a small glass.

"_Aguamenti_," I said hoarsely, pointing Rougier's wand at the glass. It immediately became full of water and I drank it quickly before vanishing the glass.

I used the bracelet again to point me in the right direction. The beam of light showed that I was still going in the right direction.

I broke into a run again, ignoring the occasional sound of movement behind me. It seemed odd that I hadn't come face-to-face with a predator yet. My knowledge of dealing with magical creatures wasn't as good as it could be. I had no taken no interest in signing up for Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class. It might have helped me now if I suddenly came into contact with an animal. Perhaps Father had spent time casting charms to have them keep their distance.

I stopped suddenly when I heard a movement in the bushes ahead of me. I dove behind a large bush to my right. I waited for a moment, trying to determine if the sound was coming closer. A scraping noise told me it was and I held my breath, hoping that whatever it was wouldn't sense my presence.

The noise was becoming louder and I held my breath as I heard it slowly pass the bush I was hiding behind. The noise became a little fainter, and I quietly peered around the bush to see what it was before it disappeared. I wanted to be prepared for it if I came into contact with it again.

It was an Aethonan. I watched as the chestnut-coloured winged horse moved out of sight. If it had noticed my presence, it clearly wasn't interested.

I kept going for another ten minutes, wondering just how big this forest really was. It felt like I had been here for ages and ages. My Ravenclaw side tried to reason with me that I was feeling desperate and my mind was probably exaggerating the amount of time I had spent in the forest. All I wanted was to be home safely in my own bed in the dungeons at Hogwarts, knowing that Snape was out in the sitting room, absorbed in yet another potions journal. He seemed to have an endless amount of them.

I heard another movement, this time off to my right, and I quickly moved behind another bush to my left. Crouching down, my heart thumping, I waited silently.

There was no sound.

I waited for a few more moments, just to be safe.

Nothing.

I was about to straighten up when I heard another sound, no more than ten metres away from me.

"You may as well come out, Armilla," said my father's voice.

Oh no…

"The borders of these grounds are heavily warded. You have no chance of getting through them."

I stayed silent, pushing my mental shield up. I had no chance against my father without it. How had he been alerted that I was gone?

I remained in my crouched position. Father's voice was now coming in a direction in front of the bush I was hiding behind. Perhaps he was just bluffing. Maybe he couldn't really see me.

_Oh excuse me_, said my cynical voice, _I may have been defeated once already tonight, but don't give way and think optimistically for the rest of the night. You need me._

"My primary concern is for your safety, Armilla," Father went on. "I understand that you may be feeling frightened at the moment. I do hope you have only left the house because you were feeling desperate with the situation…I hope my company wasn't anything to do with it."

I had left for many reasons, and Father's company had certainly been on the list.

"Perhaps you can enlighten me as to why you decided to leave," he continued. "You know I would do everything within my power to protect you. Perhaps Madame Rougier had something to do with it. If it means that much to you then I could ah…dispose…of the woman and bring in Jiffy to watch over you. Now Jiffy does not have the governess experience of dear Zita, but he watched over Severus many a time for me when he was a child."

I suppressed a shudder at the thought. I wondered if Father had found Rougier or if he had run from the house without looking for her.

"I have told you that there is no possibility of you leaving these grounds." Father's voice was becoming harder with every word. "But even if you could leave, remember this, child. You leave these grounds and you marry Draco Malfoy. Do not consider this emotional blackmail because it is a fact. You leave here and you will become a Malfoy. The Dark Lord promised this to Lucius if he was successful. Severus won't be able to help you, no matter how much you think he loves you."

I didn't care. I would rather Snape try to handle the situation over my father.

"Do _I_ not have your love, my dear child?" His voice rang out a little louder than before. "The love you believe Severus feels towards you is a product of your imagination. Severus does _not_ love you. He only shares guardianship as a means of keeping you from me. You are nothing more than a weapon to use as blackmail in his eyes. Do not fool yourself that you really mean something to Severus."

I blocked out the harsh words. I didn't come close to believing them. I wondered if he knew exactly where I was, or if he was bluffing.

"Your conscience should urge you to be a faithful daughter and abide by your father's wishes. If it is punishment you fear, then you may be at ease. I have already said that I understand that you are frightened. Come out, Armilla, and I will take you back to safety."

I remained where I was. I knew I couldn't wait forever. Father would _not_ return to the house without me by his side.

"I have been patient, Armilla," he said. "I do know where you are."

Damn. Was he bluffing? My cynical and optimistic sides were having a fierce battle.

Father let out a sigh. "Armilla, I may not be able to see you," he said very clearly, "but I know that you're behind the bush about seven or eight metres in front of me. Would you prefer me to come and get you or are you independent enough to come out yourself?"

_I won_, said the cynical side.

I had to come out sooner or later. The moment had come to put the results of my brother's teaching to the test. I had been strengthening my duelling shield for months. I had been hoping that I would never have to use it in a real duel.

The bubble shield I had cast was still intact, but had become very weak. One hex would make it vanish. I would have my mental shield underneath for protection. I held Rougier's wand tightly in my own and jumped out from behind the bush.

"_Stupefy_!" I shouted, pointed my wand at the figure in the darkness, a short distance away.

A red light burst out from the wand and went straight at the figure. It seemed to bounce off and ended up vanishing. So my father had his own range of shields.

"There is no need for this," said Father calmly, not even bothering to raise his own wand, which I could see in his right hand. "I have no wish to duel with you, child. I would rather take you back to the house."

I concentrated harder on my own mental shield. "I won't go," I said through clenched teeth, pointing my wand at him. "_Expelliarmus_!"

Father raised his wand and deftly blocked the disarming charm. "You _will_ go," he said severely.

"No," I said. "_Stupefy_!"

Like before, the spell backfired once it had reached Father. He must have had some sort of shield in place to block immobilising charms.

"My patience is growing very thin, Armilla," he said, his voice deadly quiet. "Put that wand down at once and come here."

"No. _Fernunculus_!"

The spell backfired, just like the previous one had. Maybe Father had just blocked the disarming charm to show me how easy and trivial he found it.

"Enough, Armilla!" said Father sharply. "I have refrained from using magic on you, but I will not hesitate to if you do not cease this ridiculous behaviour at once."

I ignored him. "_Locomotor Mortis!_"

Again, the spell backfired, but my intent was to hit his shield enough times so that it would gradually weaken and fail. I knew that Father was tired. It was my hope that his reaction time and delivery would be a lot slower.

"Did you not hear me, Armilla?" Father roared, beside himself with rage. "How _dare_ you defy me? I said _enough_!"

"_Fernunculus! Fernunculus!_" I yelled, all the while keeping my mental shield intact. I couldn't be sure that it was as strong as it could be considering that Father wasn't putting it to the test.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Father shouted, finally pointing his wand at me.

My shield blocked it with no trouble. I wasn't about to feel smug about it; I hadn't had the challenge of casting spells and blocking hexes at the same time.

"Clever, aren't we?" Father sneered, moving closer. "Severus has been teaching you, I see."

"_Stupefy!_" I screamed.

Father blocked both of these as before, but I noticed a bit of strain on his face now that he was closer.

"_Stupefy!_" I yelled again, hoping against hope that this was weakening Father's magical strength.

"You like that one, don't you," he said coldly. "I see that is Rougier's wand you have there. Am I to assume that's she's immobilised in the bathroom? What a clever daughter I have."

"_Impedimenta!_" I bellowed. The spell didn't work, but this time Father staggered slightly and I pressed my advantage. "_Stupefy!_"

The spell still backfired, but Father was now panting.

I kept going. "_Stupefy!_"

"_Petrificus Totalus!_" he shouted at the same time.

The spell hit my shield, which wavered slightly, letting me know that I had better strengthen it if I didn't want to be hit.

"_Fernunculus_!" I hollered.

"_Stupefy!_" Father shouted. He seemed to have found some strength.

My shield deftly blocked the spell this time; the increased strength I had given it seemed to be working. I just hoped it wouldn't weaken my hex delivery. I had spent months practising to be rid of this problem.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_" I yelled, as Father cast the Confundus Charm at me. Again, my shield blocked it.

We went on like this for a long time. Every now and then it seemed like I wasn't far off defeating Father, because he would stumble slightly, but still manage to block my spells. But then, after thinking that he was becoming tired, Father would prove me wrong and find some magical strength from somewhere.

I knew we were both getting tired. We couldn't go on like this all night. One of us had to fail. I was determined that it was not going to be me. However, my throbbing head was screaming at me to stop. If the pain got much worse then the strength of my shield would give way.

"Are you ready to be civil?" said Father finally, after another few minutes.

"No," I said. "_Incarcerous!_"

Father blocked it with ease. "You are being ridiculous, Armilla," he said, slightly breathless. "You have proven your talent at duelling; I will have to thank your dear brother for that. However, it is time to put this nonsense aside and go back to the house."

"No," I said firmly. "_Fernunculus_!"

Father blocked it, and then stood glowering at me. "Do you think this is a game, Armilla? Are you hoping to beat me at a trivial duel? I am not about to have a serious duel with my sixteen-year-old child."

Ha! I knew he had duelled with Snape at that age. "_Petrificus Totalus!_"

Father tried to give me a bored look as he blocked the spell, but his panting grew a little heavier. "I am growing tired of your childish behaviour."

Again, I ignored him. Talking to me was a way of distracting me. I didn't want to risk the strength of my shield. My throbbing head was already compromising it. "_Stupefy!_"

If Father had seemed angry before, he now looked completely enraged. "Very well. Have it your way. I have warned you. _Crucio!_"

The curse hit with a great deal of force. Of course, Snape had never used this spell on me whilst we'd been practising, and so the shield faltered for a moment before I found the strength to renew it. With all my might, I raised my wand again. "_Stupefy!_"

Father sneered as he blocked it, though he was panting more than ever. "Had enough? _Crucio!_"

Again, the curse hit with an incredible force and all my concentration was put into keeping the shield up. I knew I didn't have the strength to cast a hex at the same time. My head was already throbbing too much.

One look at my father told me that it was serving to my advantage that he was using the Cruciatus Curse. Casting Unforgivables required more magical energy and strength. The more Father used the curse, the faster his energy would drain and then I would be able to defeat him. All I needed to do was keep the shield up long enough to fend off the curse. I had to keep antagonising him.

"_Incarcerous!_"

Father blocked it, still panting. "The sooner you stop this, Armilla, the sooner we can go back to the house. _Crucio!_"

A pain was now shooting through my head, and it was all I could do to keep the shield in place. It trembled more than once, but I held it up. It was becoming too difficult. My own magical strength was waning. It was too hard to hold off such a powerful curse. My only light was that the curse must have been draining Father. Hopefully before long he wouldn't be able to cast it. Then I would take the advantage…as long as I still had the strength. The shield shook violently, and then failed, and I felt pain like I had never experienced before. I was suddenly on the ground and every inch of my body felt like it was on fire. I held off screaming because I didn't want my father to have that satisfaction. But before long, my own pride came crashing down and I screamed like never before. I wanted it to stop.

"_Finite Incantatem_," I heard Father say.

The pain disappeared as quickly as it had come. Despite my aching body, I got up onto my knees to find that Father was also on his knees, breathing heavily. He looked ready to fall into unconsciousness. Finally hitting me with the spell must have been the last straw for his strength.

"I am disgusted with myself that I had to use an Unforgivable on my own daughter," he said, panting. "But I did warn you, Armilla. I hope you are ready to conduct yourself properly now."

"Yes, I am," I whispered. I raised Rougier's wand, my arm shaking terribly from the effects of the curse. "_Stupefy!_"

Father let out a moan as the spell hit him. The spell didn't work, but I could tell that whatever shield Father had in place was failing. "Stop, child," he said breathlessly. "Stop."

I repeated the spell, trying to gather all the strength I could muster. "_Stupefy!_"

Again, Father let out a moan. "No more," he said, his eyes closed. He dropped his wand onto the ground and brought his hands up to cover his face. "_Stop_, Armilla."

"I am not finished," I said, sneering at the helpless form that was now my father. "_Stupefy!_"

Finally giving way to my spell, Father slumped onto the ground, clearly unconscious. "_Incarcerous_," I said, and I watched in satisfaction as black cords bound my father.

"I think I might add a new chapter to your favourite book, Father," I whispered, staring at his unconscious form. "I think a chapter on duelling is just what _The Role of a Pureblood Witch_ needs."

I walked over and picked up Father's wand from the ground. I pocketed it; there was no way that I was going to leave it there. Now all I needed was my own wand back. Hopefully it was still in Father's robes. I noticed that he had pulled on his robes over his pyjamas.

"_Accio_ my wand!" I said. At once I heard a crumpling sound as my wand forced its way out of one of Father's pockets. As my wand flew into my hand, I noticed that two other things had come out of Father's pocket due to the movement, and were now lying on the ground beside him.

I didn't touch them. I could see very clearly what they were. There was a small violet, a little flat, but still quite fresh. The sight of it made me think of the conversation I had had very recently with my brother. I could hear Snape's voice in my head.

"_Mother's middle name is Ianthe, which means violet flower, and Mother's favourite flowers were violets. Father would leave violets around the house for her._"

Next to the violet was a photo of my parents on their wedding day. They were both smiling, but Mother's was more of a nervous smile. She looked beautiful. Father looked much the same as he did now, except that his face was less lined and his hair was black instead of grey.

So Father carried these items on him. A sentimental Slytherin it seemed. Or just one who missed his wife. No matter how unhappy he had made my mother, it seemed that Father had loved her.

With my wand, I directed the items back into Father's pocket. I wasn't sure why I did it, but it just felt right to do it.

I charmed Father's body so that it moved behind a bush and out of sight. Whatever happened to him after that was no longer my concern.

I let out a deep sigh. Now it was back to trying to find a way out. My body was aching all over, but it was my headache that seemed to be the worst. The blinding pain was starting to make things a bit fuzzy.

I used my bracelet again to find the right path and I was soon jogging, trying to ignore the protests of my body. It was not safe to linger. It would take more time than I was willing to risk to stop and heal everything. I seemed to have received more injuries from the sticks and rocks on the grounds whilst I was under the Cruciatus Curse. I could feel blood tricking down the side of my face, as well as on my legs and right hand.

It was nothing though. My shield had failed in the end, but I had still defeated Father. _Actually_, said the cynical side again, _you wouldn't have beaten him if he hadn't been so exhausted and magically drained. You would have failed._

It was true, I would admit it. I wasn't about to think myself an exceptionally powerful witch. I wasn't. It was true that I had more skills and control over my magic than many other witches and wizards in my year, but that had only come about as a result of Snape's training. I was not invincible. Far from it. But, I had managed to hold Father off a lot longer than I would have been able to if I had had no shield in place, and that counted for something.

All the same, my shield clearly needed more work. Snape had delivered strong hexes before and I had just managed to hold them off, but Unforgivables were something different.

I continued jogging for ages, until I had to stop to conjure myself some water again. I had just vanished the glass when I heard movement behind me.

I whipped around and came face-to-face with a grey bony creature very much like the ones I had seen at Hogwarts. A Thestral!

For a moment we just stared into each other's eyes. I didn't know a great deal about Thestrals, so I wasn't sure how I was supposed to act. I hadn't actually seen one until after Merle died, and Snape had needed to explain to me why I had suddenly noticed them. I believed they were fairly harmless. After all, when he had explained why I could see them, Snape had made reference to the fact that he had once ridden one.

The Thestral suddenly moved closer to me and started licking the blood that was still running down my right hand.

"Ew, stop," I said, moving my hand away. "That's disgusting."

I could have sworn the creature shook its head at me in disagreement. Perhaps it did understand what I was saying.

I walked away, hoping it would leave me alone. Licking blood away for me was not a help.

I turned around after about ten steps and saw that the creature was watching me. I continued walking in the direction my bracelet had shown, hoping the creature would go back to whatever it had been doing before it had found me. I didn't know enough about Thestrals to know if they could get dangerous.

I started to jog again, hoping I was coming closer to the exit, and I suddenly heard a galloping sound coming from behind me. I stopped and whirled around to see the Thestral running towards me. It stopped at my side and bent down to lick at the blood on my leg.

"You know, this is not very hygienic," I commented, watching the creature. It really seemed to be enjoying itself.

"If you have to follow me for my blood, then you can wait until I find the border," I said, beginning to walk again.

The Thestral seem happy to walk beside me, and every now and then it would try and get close enough to lick my leg while it walked. I certainly wasn't enjoying the experience.

We walked for another ten minutes, not coming into contact with any creatures. I wasn't sure whether or not to be unsettled about this fact.

I was just thinking about a creature finding my father when all of a sudden I could walk no further, and it seemed the Thestral couldn't either. It was like an invisible force was pushing me back. I could see the trees becoming less dense up ahead, but it was too dark to see beyond that. In a way, it was a good thing that I was escaping in the middle of the night; daylight may not have been too much of a help. It would not be light for hours yet.

"I guess we've reached the wards," I muttered. I raised my wand and attempted a few spells, knowing perfectly well that it was no use. Father had spent hours putting them in place. He wouldn't have left any loopholes.

"Any ideas?" I said to the Thestral.

It looked up at me for a moment, and then chose to lick my right hand again.

"No, I meant any ideas for an escape," I said, annoyed. "Not any ideas for what you want to do now."

It continued to lick my hand, and I sighed. Looking ahead of me, I put my hand up and pushed. My arm met something solid, but invisible. I would have cursed, but I had already been in a similar situation tonight, and something had helped me get through.

The bracelet.

I looked down at it.

"I need you again," I said. "I have no idea why you've chosen to help me all of a sudden, but I need you again."

I shook my other hand free of the Thestral's tongue so I could rub the emerald again. _I need a way through the wards_, I thought.

Nothing happened.

"Oh come on," I said indignantly. I rubbed it again. _Please show me a way through the wards_.

Again, nothing happened.

I sighed in frustration. "You helped me before," I said desperately. "Why won't you help me now? You wouldn't help me when Shar attacked me either."

Why though? It had seemed the bracelet only helped when I asked it to. But it wasn't helping me now. What was I doing differently?

"What did I say before that I'm not saying now?" I muttered, staring down at the Thestral, who was now happily licking my leg again.

The first time it had helped me, I had told it that I needed a way out and Father wouldn't let me go. The times after that I had asked it to point me to the exit so I could escape my father…

_Father_.

I was wearing the bracelet because I was a pureblood witch. The bracelet could only be passed down to a pureblood family member. The locket could only be opened by another direct pureblood family member. My mother had used it to save my life as baby, to protect another pureblood family member. There seemed to be a theme. All forms of magic surrounding the bracelet seemed to be in relation to pureblood family members. Could it be that the bracelet could also be used to protect one from another pureblood family member?

I rubbed the emerald again. _I need a path through the wards to escape from my father_, I thought.

I wasn't surprised when a beam of green light shot out from the bracelet once more.

The Thestral looked up, clearly interested.

"To get through the wards," I said to it, moving the beam in front of me so it faced the wards.

Nothing seemed to happen. Obviously there was no keyhole to use this time. If there was no door, then how was I supposed to break the wards?

_Make a door_, I thought.

Feeling a little doubtful, I held my left wrist in my bleeding right hand to keep the beam steady, and I moved my arm so that I could draw the outline of a door with the beam. The outline I drew glowed green.

"Well, here goes," I murmured. I put out a hand and found that I could put it right through the doorway that I had created. Breathing a sigh of relief, I walked through the door. I turned around to find that the Thestral had decided to come too.

"You're sure you want to come?" I asked. "I have no idea where we are."

It responded by licking my hand again.

"Come on," I said, taking my chocolate frog out. We began to walk and I looked behind me to see that the doorway had sealed itself. The light on my bracelet had also vanished.

I tried to activate the chocolate frog card. We were no longer on my father's warded grounds, so I was hoping the card would work.

It didn't. After all that had just happened, it was strange that I was suddenly feeling emotional over not being able to activate the card. Maybe everything was just catching up with me.

I tried to be logical about it. Perhaps there were still traces of the wards around the surrounding area, so activating the card wouldn't work.

We continued walking like before, and I was growing more and more exhausted. My head was throbbing so badly that my vision out of the corners of my eyes was fuzzy.

I could tell we were coming to the edge of the forest. The trees were much further apart, but I couldn't see ahead of me.

As we came closer to the edge, I could hear the sound of running water. We must have been near a lake or something. Moving closer, I could finally make out water up ahead. As far as I could tell, it went on for ages and I was at a dead end.

I looked down at the Thestral as we walked. "We'll need to find another way to- Ahhh!"

The flat ground we had been walking on suddenly finished without warning and I fell down a couple of metres and landed on wet sand.

It could have been worse. I was lucky not to hear the sound of a breaking leg. Not being able to walk would have really been a problem. Instead, I had put my right hand out to stop my fall and had landed on it. I thought I must have broken my wrist instead. The pain was bad, but nothing like the effects of the Cruciatus Curse.

I moaned quietly, holding my wrist in my other hand. I looked up to see the Thestral flap its wings. It glided down the couple of metres towards me.

"Show off," I muttered.

I rubbed the emerald on my bracelet again, wincing with pain, and asked it to point me in the right direction, being sure to insist that it was still on the grounds of escaping my father.

Nothing happened.

The bracelet couldn't be fooled. The fact that it hadn't worked had told me that I was now safe from my father. Instead, I tried another tactic.

_Please point me in the right direction so that I can go home safely to Severus_, I thought.

Once again, the green beam came out and it pointed up high in front of me, over the lake and up in the sky.

The Thestral settled on the wet sand next to me and looked expectantly at my right hand again.

"You can't lick it anymore," I said, still wincing from the pain. The light of the bracelet vanished. Why had it pointed towards the sky?

"I can't swim across there," I said faintly, looking at the water. I knew I wouldn't be able to swim with a broken wrist. Actually, even if I hadn't broken it, I wouldn't have trusted myself in the water when my vision was going a bit strange.

"We've got to go up in the sky," I said wearily, looking at the Thestral. "That just sounds ridiculous. I know you can fly, but you wouldn't have a broomstick on you, would you?" Had I just said that? Maybe I was delirious.

The Thestral used its head to nudge me, and then got up, still looking expectantly at me.

"At least you can fly," I murmured. "Can you fly away and get Severus for me?"

It reached down again and nudged me with its head. Then it stood up to its full height and flapped its wings.

"Oh no," I said at once. "Thankyou for the offer, but I am _not _flying on you. I may be able to hold my own on a broomstick, but Thestrals are a different matter altogether."

The Thestral nudged me again, and then flapped its wings as before.

"No way," I said. "I'll fall off. There's got to be another way."

I rubbed the emerald again. _Show me what means I can use to get home safely to Severus_.

To my dismay, the beam of light pointed straight at the Thestral.

When the light had vanished, I got up and looked pointedly at the creature. "You and the bracelet are in on this together, aren't you? Death by falling off a flying horse." Yes, definitely delirious.

"Well I suppose if Severus can ride one, I can. I won't have him thinking that I can't do it."

I conjured up a strip of material and bound it around my right wrist as best I could.

"I don't know how to ride you," I said, looking at the Thestral. "I don't even know how to mount you."

It suddenly sat down again so it would be easy for me climb onto its back. I knew by now that the creature did understand me.

I got on and gripped tightly onto the dark mane. I moved around a bit until I felt secure enough. I had to keep my knees firmly lodged behind the wing joints so I wouldn't fall.

"Just be careful," I said faintly, leaning over close to the mane. "I'm only holding on with one good arm, so don't fly too fast. Take me to Hogwarts, but keep out of harm's way."

The Thestral got up slowly and I gripped tighter than ever, my nerves at an all time peak. I had just duelled with my father, and _now_ I was scared?

The creature extended its wings, crouched for a moment, and then took off into the night at an almighty pace.

"I said not too fast!" I protested, absolutely terrified. But there seemed to be something holding me in place. I knew that I wouldn't fall. I looked down at the emerald on my bracelet. It wasn't flashing, but I was sure it had something to do with why I was suddenly feeling so secure.

"Riding Thestrals," I said faintly, closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at the water down below. "Another thing to add to _The Role of a Pureblood Witch_."


	70. Triumph and Humility

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 69

We must have been very far from Hogwarts; it seemed as if we had been flying for hours. Actually, we probably had been; I didn't want to risk letting go of the Thestral to check my watch.

Early on in the flight, I had concluded that flying Thestrals wasn't likely to become a favourite pastime of mine. Though I had become more a little more comfortable with the experience as the flight went on, it didn't change my opinion.

We were up _very_ high, and it was frightfully cold. The icy wind succeeded in making my joints feel stiff and sore. Eventually I had to keep shifting ever so slightly when I felt my arms and legs start to go numb.

My head was still throbbing, and the pace at which we were travelling was doing nothing to help my fuzzy vision. I felt a little dizzy, and I spent much of the flight with my eyes closed.

When I did have my eyes open, I could see distant lights down below, and many trees.

"Are we there yet?" I murmured. I could have sworn that I had mounted the Thestral over three hours ago.

I wasn't as if I had expected a reply. The Thestral's wings continued at the same fast pace; I wondered briefly if Thestrals ever got tired.

"Can you land in the Forbidden Forest?" I yelled, "on the side closer to the school?" I hoped the Thestral heard me over the wind. I had suddenly thought that it would not do to land in the open grounds, no matter if they were in darkness.

Praying the Thestral had heard me, I closed my eyes again, thinking about what my brother might be doing at that moment. Would he even be at Hogwarts? He might have left the school to search for me. But that wouldn't be a wise thing to do. Upon discovering my absence, he might have suspected a trap and decided to remain within the school wards. I believed it would be more sensible for Snape to stay at Hogwarts in case I returned and have others search for me.

The trip went on for much longer than I had hoped, and I found myself nearly drifting off to sleep, even though I was many feet up in the air. After that, I tried to keep my eyes wide open so sleep wouldn't threaten to take me. It proved much more difficult than I thought, and I was very thankful when I saw that the Thestral was descending.

There were many trees below and off in the distance I could see the castle. Seeing Hogwarts gave me an unbelievable amount of relief. I knew that seeing my brother would bring even more. If he was there…

We passed over many more trees, and finally the Thestral landed softly in the forest, not too far from Hogwarts.

I climbed off the Thestral, wincing with pain from my broken wrist, and promptly fell to the ground. It seemed that my legs had gotten too used to being bent into position on the Thestral.

"You might have warned me, you know," I grumbled, looking at the Thestral. "My legs feel numb."

It responded by sitting down next to me so it could lick my leg again. I didn't have the heart to tell it to stop; it had after all delivered me safely back to the school.

I pulled out the chocolate frog card. There was just enough light in the forest to make out the words on the card. I didn't really want to risk lighting my wand in the forest. I activated the card and sent Snape a message.

_I'm in the Forbidden_ _Forest_

With my good hand, I rubbed my aching head while I waited for a response. My heart thudded with every second that I waited. What if I got no reply?

Before my paranoia could set in, I saw a response appear.

_I'm coming now. Where in the forest are you?_

I breathed a sigh of relief. _I'm not far from the school…that's all I can tell you._

_I'll find you. Stay where you are._

I remained where I was, blinking back the tears that had appeared upon seeing the words from my brother. He was coming.

I sighed and looked over at the Thestral. "He's coming," I said softly. It completely ignored me and kept its interest solely in my leg.

I waited silently as the minutes passed. I didn't know exactly how long it took to get from the school to the forest, but I supposed it seemed longer when you were anxious to see someone. Finally, I heard the sound of someone running and I looked up in the direction of the school to see a figure in the distance running towards me. Though the person was far away, I could tell in the darkness that it was my brother by the way his robes billowed out behind him in the wind. I had never met another person whose robes billowed the way his did. When I had been a first year, I had thought that it was the man's trademark.

When he came closer, I could finally make out the face and confirm that it was my brother. His expression was very intense, but also very hard.

He came right towards me, so I didn't have to bother calling out to him. When he reached me, he waved his wand to create a sound-proofing charm around us. He bent down and gripped my upper arms.

"Armilla, are you alright?"

Blinking back the tears that were threatening, I gave a small nod. There was no use in crying now. He was here. "Can't complain," I said thickly. "Better now…" I felt faint; I was so cold.

I wanted to tell him to loosen his grip on my arms, as I was in enough pain as it was, but his intense expression told me that he needed to hold on tightly to reassure himself that I was there.

"You weren't followed?"

"Not that I'm aware of," I answered.

For a moment we just stared at each other. He was a lot paler than usual, making his black eyes even more prominent.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

He frowned. "Whatever for?"

"I…," I shook my head in frustration, tears welling in my eyes. There were so many thoughts swimming through my head that I couldn't explain them by combining them into one coherent sentence.

Snape didn't press the matter. He straightened up, glanced at the Thestral, who had stopped licking my leg to look at him, and then returned his gaze to me.

"I need to know everything," he said quietly. "But we must talk inside where it is safe."

I nodded, shifting slightly from where I sat in the dirt. My legs were still a bit stiff.

Snape reached down and lifted me to my feet. My legs threatened to give way at first and upon realising this, Snape held on. I moaned slightly when my broken wrist reminded me of its presence.

"What's hurting you?" he asked, not letting go.

"I think I broke my wrist."

Seeing that I was now stable on my feet, he reached for the injured wrist, which was still bound with the strip of material I had put on before the ride on the Thestral.

I gasped as he felt the break. "Indeed you have," he murmured. "Easily mended, but you won't be able to use it for a day or two." He looked up and gave me a disapproving look. "I don't think you _are _alright then," he said. "You need to reassess what you think qualifies under _alright_."

"I thought you meant in general," I whispered back, blinking back the tears. "I'm not in a real bad state."

"Well, that's subjective," he said. "You don't strike me as a person who would choose to sit in the dirt unless she had to."

I looked down to see that apart from my robes being covered in dirt, there was dirt and sand stuck to my bleeding leg and arm; obviously the Thestral had gone for the clean blood first.

"It's just a bit of dirt," I said quietly. I felt in great need of a shower.

"And blood," he replied, bringing a hand up to touch the side of my face. "It's on your face too."

I brought my good hand up and felt the blood on my face. Snape looked terribly worried; it was especially troublesome to see him in that state. Generally he kept his worries under wraps and didn't let them near the surface unless he had to.

There was now blood on my hand and I wiped it on my already dirty robes.

"Can you walk well enough?" he asked quietly. "We must be getting back to the castle."

I nodded. "I think so. My legs went all funny after spending so long on a Thestral."

Snape's eyes widened. "You rode a Thestral?"

I nodded, looking down at the Thestral next to me.

Snape looked at it too.

"I assume that this is the hijacked Thestral?"

"I didn't hijack it. It wouldn't leave me alone. It's got a thing for my blood."

"Thestrals are lured by raw meat, Armilla," he said quietly. "It obviously smelled your blood."

"Well, he's been helpful anyway," I murmured, bringing my left hand up to rub my tired eyes.

"_He_?" said Snape, still looking at the creature.

"I decided that it's a he."

"Oh. Come, we must be getting back." Snape started walking and beckoned me to follow.

"Are we just going to leave him there?" I said, looking at the Thestral.

Snape paused in his steps and turned around to look at the Thestral.

"There are other Thestrals in the forest," he said quietly. "They're not territorial creatures, so I am certain that your Thestral will have no trouble finding a home with them."

I looked back at him, still uncertain.

He sighed. "No, you may not keep him."

The Thestral began licking my leg again.

Snape glared down at him. "As much as you appear to enjoy it, I would appreciate it if you refrain from doing that."

It stopped to peer up at him.

"Thankyou for flying me back," I said. The creature looked at me, and then proceeded to lick my leg again.

"Yes, thankyou for your timely assistance," said Snape, sneering slightly, "but your services are no longer required."

It ignored him this time. Clearly it thought that licking my leg did not come under 'services' and so was free to do it.

"Go and find some other Thestrals," I said, taking a step away. "Go on."

The Thestral just looked at me, tilting his head to one side.

Snape shook his head. "I am not wasting time on this. Come."

He started off at a much faster pace than I was comfortable with, and it was all I could do to keep up with him. I turned around every now and then and was glad to see that the Thestral had chosen not to follow us. I hoped that he would stay and live with the other Thestrals in the forest.

We were very close to the entrance to the forest when I started to lag behind. My vision still wasn't the best; the fuzziness in my eyes was still there, and my head ached. I couldn't help being slow; I had done so much running already that night and my legs had become stiff and sore from the cold and riding the Thestral.

Sensing that I wasn't right behind him, Snape turned around, looking a little impatient. I knew he was just anxious to be inside so he could find out what had happened.

"I know you're tired," he said quietly, when I had reached him. "I will fix everything when we get inside." He held out his hand for me to take. I knew such an offer wouldn't have come if we were in broad daylight and students and teachers were about. As it was, it was still very dark and everyone would have been in bed at this hour.

I put my good hand in his and he squeezed it slightly. This action produced another rather large lump in my throat. I was back with Snape. Father and Rougier were far away. But what about the Dark Lord and Lucius Malfoy? Had Lucius succeeded? I wondered if whatever he had to do was done now…

"I…," I stopped, a little surprised that my voice had started to shake. "I'm not sure you can fix everything," I whispered.

Snape looked sharply at me, his eyes fixed intently on mine.

I blinked back the threatening tears and shook my head. I couldn't understand myself. I had faced Rougier and my father. I had gotten around both of them, yet seeing my brother in the flesh pulled out all the emotions I had been trying to subdue.

"Come," he said again, though we were already walking. He picked up his pace even more, and before long I started to lag behind, even though I was holding his hand. This did nothing to stop the man's pace. His desire to hear the events that had transpired as soon as possible seemed to make him content to pull me along behind him.

When we arrived at the entrance of the castle, Snape slowed down slightly and my legs were grateful. Snape had ended up pulling me along most of the way back. He didn't seem to mind at all, but I felt a little bad. I knew he had not slept either and was more than likely tired.

"Nearly there," he said quietly in my ear as we moved into the Entrance Hall. We moved across the hall and were nearly at the dungeon stairs when we heard the sound of running footsteps from above. We both looked up as the sound came closer and a moment later, two figures appeared at the top of the staircase.

Lisa and Terry. They were in their dressing gowns, and had their wands out in their hands. They came rushing down the stairs and stopped when they caught sight of Snape and I.

They both had looks of utter shock on their faces. I didn't know whether to put it down to my unfavourable appearance or the fact that I was holding the hand of the formidable Head of Slytherin.

"Ten points each from Ravenclaw for being out of bed and roaming the halls," said Snape icily, glaring at them.

"We saw you coming back through the window," said Terry breathlessly, as Lisa clutched at what I supposed was a stitch in her side. "We wanted to see-"

"Yes, I know who you wanted to see, Mr Boot," said Snape, his voice hard. "I have yet to determine if she is alright."

I said nothing. It felt like an age since I had seen my friends; the lump that had settled in my throat was threatening to grow bigger again.

"If you must travel through the halls after hours," Snape continued, "or _before_ hours I should say since it is past three o'clock in the morning, do so quietly." He paused to give them a scathing look. "But you would do well to know that I don't condone such behaviour."

They both said nothing. They look from Snape to me, their faces pale.

Snape sighed, and began walking again, not letting go of my hand.

"Come and make yourselves useful then," he said, glancing back at my friends.

Surprised to hear my brother say such a thing, I looked back in time to see the two exchanging an alarmed look, and I felt a little sorry for them. Clearly, they had just come down to see if I was alright. Now they probably thought that they would be doing a detention in their dressing gowns. I felt some warmth towards them at the thought of them waiting by the window to see if I would come back.

We all walked along through the dungeons corridors in silence. I shivered, still cold from riding the Thestral. The dungeon weather certainly wasn't a help.

When we reached the portrait of Hortensia Kinchela, which concealed the entrance to our quarters, Snape took out his wand and performed a couple of charms in rapid Latin. When he was finished, he touched the serpent's head at the feet of the woman and was allowed entry.

Snape and I went inside, but Lisa and Terry lingered in the doorway.

"I've charmed the wards to recognise you both as invited guests," said Snape, sneering slightly, "so do not feel as if you will be hexed for coming inside."

Looking extremely self-conscious, they both moved in far enough so that the portrait-door could move back into place.

"Armilla and I are going into another room," he went on, not looking discomforted in the least. "I am not sure how long we will be, but you may sit here in the meantime." He indicated the sofa, and my friends immediately moved towards it. "But do not touch anything."

My brother certainly knew how to make people feel right at home. Lisa and Terry sat down in silence, and I knew that they were wishing they could be elsewhere.

Snape indicated for me to follow him and we went into the lab. "Stay here a moment, I will be back shortly," he said. He went out again and went in the direction of his bedroom. Our quarters were heated, and I welcomed the warmth in the small room.

Shortly after Snape returned, and closed the door with a snap behind him. He took out his wand and sound-proofed the room. He strode over to the workbench and began to summon a range of potions and other things. "I had to alert certain Order members that you were safe," he said quietly, when he had finished. "Come here."

I moved towards him and he lifted me onto the bench. "I am going to heal your wrist using a charm," he said. "I'll wrap it too, but I do not want you using it more than you have to for a couple of days. The bone needs time to regain strength before you put pressure on it again. I have a potion that will aid in giving it strength."

I nodded. "Can I have a headache potion?"

He nodded. "I'll get you one in a minute."

I rubbed my head. The pain above my eyes was terrible.

"That bad, is it?" he said, not looking at me as he unwrapped the mock-bandage on my wrist.

I nodded. "My vision's gone a bit fuzzy."

Snape looked up at that. "That's a symptom of a migraine," he said shortly. "I'll give you a stronger potion."

He summoned another bottle from the cupboard and measured a small amount of purple liquid into a vial. "Here," he said, passing it to me. "It should provide relief over a few minutes."

I accepted it gratefully, willing to take anything over the pain I was feeling. Within seconds, I felt the pain start to subdue.

I watched as he waved his wand over my wrist, chanting a string of words under his breath. I gasped in pain as I felt the bones move. It certainly wasn't a pleasant experience. When he had finished, he used a cloth to wipe away the blood and dirt on the arm, and then tightly bound my wrist with more than one bandage. He then found the source of the blood; a cut near my elbow had been dripping blood down my arm. He healed and covered that too, and then cast another charm.

"I've cast a water-repelling charm on the bandage," he explained, putting his wand away.

"I'll have a hard time ridding myself of dirt if I can't use that arm," I said grimly.

"That's why Miss Turpin is currently sitting in our quarters," he said smoothly, measuring another potion into a vial. "I didn't invite her in for a social visit. She can be of assistance to you."

"Oh."

I looked down at the bench I was sitting on and realised that some of the dirt from my robes had fallen onto the bench. I hadn't realised out in the dark that I had become so dirty from being on the ground during the Cruciatus curse. I would have bet that I had been covered in more sand and dirt before I rode the Thestral. I was sure that some would have come off from the fast ride.

"Never mind that," said Snape, pushing the vial into my hand. "Drink it all."

I downed the potion, doing my best to ignore the bad taste.

"Do tell me," Snape said, his voice hard, "how is our dear father?"

"You _know_?" I breathed, as he took the vial from my hand.

"When I couldn't contact Father earlier I deduced as much," he answered, his eyes narrowed. "Jiffy was not a great help."

"He used Rougier as his help," I said bitterly, shivering slightly.

Snape's face expression grew severe. "You saw Rougier? After I threatened her? I-" He seemed to take Rougier's disregard of his threat as a great insult. He sighed, and sat down on one of the stools. "Start from the very beginning, Armilla."

I nodded. "I left here to go up to the Great Hall for my exam-" I stopped as the thought of my exam came into my mind. "I missed my exam!"

Snape held up a hand. "We will talk about that later. There is no need to worry about it, I assure you." He fixed me with a stern look. "Continue."

"I met Lucius Malfoy on my way…he was talking to Draco. He told Draco to go and find Umbridge for him as they were supposed to be going to Hogsmeade. Draco went, and then I went to move too because I didn't want to be alone with him, but he grabbed my hand…he had a portkey in it."

Snape pursed his lips, his face hard, and I paused, feeling nervous. He seemed furious.

I looked away. I couldn't help the feeling of guilt that was creeping into my mind again. "He disarmed me as soon as we landed…I wasn't quick enough."

His expression remained the same, and when I spoke again, my voice shook. "We landed in a place guarded by a Secret Keeper…Rougier. She gave it away that it was really Father on Polyjuice potion, not Lucius Malfoy."

Snape's expression was making my nerves run riot. He was listening intently, but the harsh look on his face was most unsettling.

"I had to stay at the place with Rougier while Father went outside for hours on end," I said, my voice low. "Father had decided that we would all be staying there indefinitely."

"Had he?" said Snape coldly, his lip curled.

I nodded, looking away. "He came back before dinner and explained it all to me." I looked up and met his gaze. "We were right about Draco knowing something," I whispered.

"Go on," he said, his lips barely moving.

"Lucius Malfoy was given the task of retrieving a weapon from the Department of Mysteries."

Snape looked sharply at me, but said nothing. He looked ready to snap in my opinion.

"The Dark Lord said he would be greatly rewarded if he succeeded," I went on, my voice starting to shake again. "Father wasn't asked to be involved, but Lucius Malfoy sought him out to tell him what he had requested as a reward."

Snape frowned. "Lucius requested a reward?"

I nodded. "If Mr Malfoy succeeded, then the Dark Lord would make you and Father give your permission to have me betrothed to Draco."

He stood up abruptly, his face twisted in fury. "How _dare_ he-" he began pacing the room.

"Do you know if anything has happened?" I asked quietly.

Snape stopped, his furious expression changing to one of anxiety as he looked at me. I could tell he knew something, but was debating whether or not to tell me.

"You know something. Has he succeeded? You would tell me if…" I broke off, tears in my eyes.

He shook his head as he moved closer to me. "I do not know the outcome," he said quietly.

I stared up at him. "But something has happened?"

He nodded. "Potter had a vision of Black in the Department of Mysteries yesterday afternoon. His arrogance with him as always, he took matters into his own hands and disappeared from the school grounds along with five others. I concluded that he had gone to the Department of Mysteries and so I alerted the Order. There are members of the Order there now," he paused, bringing a hand up to brush his hair from his face. "The other members of the Order have been trying to locate you. There was the fear that your disappearance was connected with what's going on in the Department of Mysteries."

"When did you find out I was missing?" I asked.

"When you used your pearl to communicate with me," he replied. "I received a mental message that you needed me. I tried to contact you via the chocolate frog card but the message failed to get through." His eyes flashed suddenly. "I was furious. No one had come to tell me that you had not turned up to your exam. When I questioned one of the examiners, she told me that a message had been sent to the Headmistress. Umbridge had not bothered to inform me. I suppose now that she was hoping to solve it on her own before the end of the exam."

"Won't it be all over the school now?" I asked quietly.

"We'll downplay it as much as possible," he said, sitting down again. "I contacted Dumbledore about it and he and a few other Order members began a search for you. Being the only Order member at Hogwarts, I had the orders to remain where I was in case you appeared back at the school. I had to keep a low profile and not question Umbridge on the matter. The hope is to cast a memory charm on her and bring in some excuse for the examiners for you not being at the exam. I saw Umbridge late in the afternoon anyway when the Inquisitorial Squad caught Potter in her office. It seemed she was much preoccupied with Potter's wrongdoings anyway to worry herself about your disappearance. She disappeared into the forest with Potter and Miss Granger and I haven't seen her since. As far as I know, the others are still at the Ministry."

I looked down at the floor. "Father didn't want me to leave because he doesn't want me to marry Draco."

"I should think not," Snape snapped. "I can imagine that Father would have been highly offended that Lucius would request such a thing. _I_ most certainly am."

I said nothing more, but continued to stare at the floor. My thoughts were preoccupied with the question of Lucius Malfoy's success.

My brother reached over and took my good hand in his, and I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Armilla, I assure you that if the outcome of the night's proceedings are unfavourable to us, then everything will be done not only in my power, but in the Order's power to protect you."

I nodded, but my worry did not stop. "I know," I whispered. "Father told me that I was safer staying with him, but I couldn't…"

Snape squeezed my hand before letting go. "Which brings us back to your dealings with him tonight. Father explained that he took you to protect you from a marriage to Draco. Please continue."

"We were to stay there indefinitely, and I had to stay in the company of one of them at all times, so it was a little hard to come up with a plan."

"The fact that you didn't have a wand wouldn't have been a big help," he put in, his face hard again. Immediately the guilt from before crept back; a reminder that I had failed to protect myself upon being attacked.

I chose to continue, pushing the guilt away. "I was allowed timed visits to the bathroom, so I knew I had to plan something in there…" I looked up at him again. "Now is probably a good time to tell you that you received an Easter present from Fred and George Weasley."

He gave me a strange look. "I beg your pardon?"

Well, this was going to take some explaining. I took a deep breath. "Ages ago I was getting something out of the Potions storeroom in the classroom, and I saw Fred and George in there doing what they said was one of many detentions that you had given them."

Snape nodded. "I did."

"They said that their task of copying out Potions ingredients and their properties was helpful because every now and then they would find something useful for their inventions. They figured that you were secretly helping them, and had gotten Filch to oversee the detentions so they wouldn't ask you questions."

Snape neither confirmed nor denied this. He simply waited in silence for me to go on, his face impassive.

"I saw them just after Easter and they told me that thanks to you they had perfected new products. They said you wouldn't acknowledge that you'd helped them, but they wanted to thank you with an Easter present."

Snape folded his arms. "Did they perfect invisibility then? I never received anything."

I shook my head. "They didn't want to give it to you. They gave me the present, with the impression that the contents would help me, and by doing so, would be a thankyou to _you_."

He narrowed his eyes. "A little complicated, Armilla. How does this relate to what has just happened?"

"They gave me something called Knockout Powder," I explained. "It's a small grey pod. When you break the seal and drop it, a vapour comes out and knocks people out within a certain vicinity. There's a gum you can chew so that you won't be affected."

Snape gave a curt nod. "I can name which ingredients they would have used to come up with that."

Was that a confirmation of his involvement? I didn't ask. "I've been carrying the pod and gum around in the hem of my skirt ever since, like they recommended. I waited until Father had gone out after dinner. I was allowed to use the bathroom before bed, so I used the opportunity to release the vapour in the bathroom. Rougier was waiting just outside."

Snape nodded in approval. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you took their advice and held on to that product."

His anger seemed to have faded a little, and I felt more at ease as I went on. "I dropped the pod and opened the door. Rougier was knocked out. I took her wand and left her in the bathroom."

"Locked?"

I nodded. "Locked. Then I heard Father come home."

At the mention of Father, signs of anger crept back onto Snape's face.

"I pocketed Rougier's wand and told Father that she was in the bathroom. He went to bed and then I tried to leave, but I couldn't open the door."

Snape nodded. "Father also knows some creative locking charms."

I nodded. "I didn't think I was going to get out. I was looking at my bracelet, annoyed with it because it wouldn't help me escape Father…and then a light burst out of it. I shone the light at the keyhole and it not only unlocked the door, but also locked it again when I had gotten out."

He frowned. "Be specific. Did you have to give a message to the bracelet to make that happen?"

I nodded. "I worked out later on that it could help me escape another pureblood family member. I told it that I needed a way to escape Father. When I was outside, I used it to point to me to an exit to escape Father. I have to mention who the person is in order for it to work."

"It certainly needs more research," he said, his eyes on my bracelet. "There must be some boundaries."

I shrugged. "It pointed me in the right direction, and I just kept running."

"Father would have had some strong wards in place," Snape stated, looking back at me.

I nodded. "He did, but I didn't make it to the wards as quickly as I wanted to. Father found me."

Snape's eyes flashed as before. "So he had alarms in place to warn him that you'd escaped," he said quietly.

"I suppose so."

He looked furious again. "Go on."

"I was hiding, but he knew where I was. He kept telling me to come out so we could go back to the house. He said I wouldn't be able to get through the wards, and that even if I did leave, I would have to marry Draco Malfoy." A rather large lump settled in my throat again at the thought of Lucius Malfoy succeeding. "He said you wouldn't be able to help me and that I was a weapon for you to use as blackmail."

"That's all he knows," Snape scoffed. He gave me a stern look. "I won't sport with your intelligence by offering up that comment for further discussion-"

"I know it's not true," I said quickly.

He nodded curtly. "I know. It doesn't mean I like you hearing such things."

"I ignored the things he said," I continued. "I tried to attack him."

Snape wore a very strange expression at this. It was like he wasn't sure whether to smile or frown. "What do you mean _tried_?"

"He kept blocking my spells, saying that he didn't _want_ to duel with me. But I kept going, and in the end he finally fired back."

Snape's face looked impassive. "And?" he said.

"My mental shield blocked his spells for awhile…"

"For awhile?"

I nodded. "When I refused to stop, he started using the Cruciatus curse."

For the second time, Snape stood up abruptly, looking enraged. "He used the Cruciatus curse on you?" he exclaimed, his face contorted with fury.

I nodded, watching him pace again. "My mental shield blocked it at first," I said, my voice wavering, "but it just couldn't handle it. It gave way in the end."

Snape stopped and looked at me. "How long were you subjected to it?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

I stared back at him, lost in thought as I relived the experience in my mind. "I don't know…I lost track of all time while it was happening…"

He brought his hands up and rubbed his temples.

"I was glad he used the curse," I said quietly, and Snape looked sharply at me while I explained. "It drained him of his magical energy. It was a lot easier to finish him off. I cast _Stupefy_ at him a couple of times and he wanted me to stop."

He looked incredulous. "He asked you to _stop_?"

"He couldn't take any more of it" I said softly. "I cast it again though and he was knocked unconscious."

Snape stared at me, his black eyes glittering.

"You defeated him," he said, more to himself than to me.

I shook my head. "No. I didn't defeat him at all. He was just too drained to keep going. If he had kept on at using the Cruciatus curse then I'd probably still be there with him. I just got lucky, that's all."

Snape fixed me with a calculating look at this statement. He looked far from pleased.

"I retrieved my wand from him," I went on.

I reached into my robes and pulled out Rougier's wand.

"Rougier's wand," I said. "I'd love to destroy it, but I suppose it's evidence."

Snape nodded. "It is."

"I've got something else," I said, reaching into my robes again. I pulled out the second wand I had taken that night and placed it on the bench next to Rougier's.

Snape stared at it for a long time in silence. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, or even what he was feeling.

"Father's wand," he said finally, not taking his eyes from it.

"I didn't want to leave it there," I said. "Do you think I should have?"

He shook his head. "He'll have a harder time without it, but I daresay he's got a spare in the house somewhere." He broke his gaze from the wand and looked at me. "I always dreamed of defeating him and taking his wand to destroy."

"I'm sorry I ruined it then," I said, feeling a little crestfallen.

"Ruined it?" he repeated, giving me a shrewd look. "At least one of us did it."

I said nothing.

"Keep going, Armilla, you haven't told me how you managed to end up on a Thestral." He folded his arms and looked expectantly at me.

"The Thestral showed up after I left Father and kept following me," I explained. "I used the bracelet again to get through the wards. The light from the locket managed to cut out a door. The Thestral came with me and we ended up finding a river. It was dark and I fell down a small slope and that's how I broke my wrist."

He nodded. "Lucky that happened _after _you duelled with Father."

I nodded. "The locket wouldn't help me find a way to escape Father after that because it seemed to think I was safe from him. Instead I asked it to show me a safe way back to _you_. The light pointed at the sky. I asked it how and it pointed to the Thestral. I had no other choice. I didn't want to ride it."

"No, I don't imagine that you did," he said softly, looking closely at me. "After what you had already gone through."

I suddenly felt embarrassed. Snape had been through plenty of horrible times. I hadn't done much at all. I had used a present from Fred and George to escape Rougier. I had duelled with a man who had been magically drained and then I had ridden a Thestral home. I was sure Snape had suffered the Cruciatus curse plenty of times.

"I ended up in the forest, and then I contacted you," I finished, disregarding what he had said.

Snape frowned for a moment, his eyes fixed on mine, before standing up again.

"What happens from here?" I asked, as he stepped closer.

"Father's whereabouts are protected by the Secret Keeper," he answered, still looking closely at me. "If he wakes, it is up to him how he handles his own situation. I daresay that from here on both the Light and Dark sides will be looking for him. The Dark Lord does not look favourably on deserters, and the Light side will want to find him so that-"

"He doesn't try anything again," I finished for him. The lump in my throat was growing bigger.

Slowly, he nodded. "Like I said, Armilla, we will do everything in our power-"

"I know," I said, blinking back tears again. I wasn't sure why I was upset. It was probably for many reasons. I felt guilty for getting disarmed so quickly. I was terrified that Lucius Malfoy would succeed. I was frightened that Father would find another way to take me. I didn't want the whole experience to be made bigger than it was; Snape had been through a lot more. I felt guilty that after all his training, I couldn't keep my wand.

Snape took another step closer. "Armilla-"

I shook my head, wiping tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry," I murmured.

He frowned. "That's the second time you've said that and I don't know why."

Sniffing, I looked away, wiping my face. My hand came away with more blood and dirt. I tried to wipe it off on my robes.

Snape conjured a wet cloth and reached for my hand. He silently wiped away the dirt and blood and then spelled the cloth clean.

I went to wipe the tears from my eyes again, but Snape caught my hand first.

"I just cleaned that," he said. I blinked and became very embarrassed as the tears fell. I looked away, not wanting to meet my brother's gaze.

Snape reached out and held my chin in one hand, and began to clean my face with the wet cloth in his other hand. "You're home now," he said quietly, wiping blood and dirt from my forehead. "You don't have to be so brave."

I shook my head again.

Snape paused and stared at me, his black eyes slightly narrowed. He said no more, but continued to clean my face in silence. He healed the cut where the blood had come from, and then moved onto the blood on my leg, which came from a cut below my knee.

"Well," he said finally, straightening up after covering the cut. "I believe I have left your friends waiting long enough."

As I was still wiping away tears, I wasn't sure if I wanted to face my friends at the moment. I really wasn't in the best state. Everything was well and truly catching up with me.

"I do however want to pick up that conversation later," he said quietly. "I expect you are tired, but a couple of the things you said have perplexed me."

"I don't know what I mean," I said absently, still wiping my eyes.

"Indeed," he said, taking my hand again and wiping it dry so I wouldn't wipe it on my robes again. "I am not sure if you know what you mean either, but I do wish to clarify a couple of things with you later…for my benefit, and for yours."

Putting the cloth aside, he reached out and lifted me off the bench. When he set me on my feet, he ran a hand across my wet cheek and then kissed me.

"We will talk again later," he said, letting go of me. "You know I will expect proper answers, so be prepared to give them."

I looked up at him and he stared back at me, his face impassive. "Is that clear?" he said, his voice a little harder.

I nodded. "Yes," I whispered.

He nodded curtly. "Come."

I followed him to the door. He waved his wand to take down the sound-proofing wards before opening the door.

As we stepped out into the corridor, I wondered if my friends had drifted off to sleep out in the sitting room. We had certainly been a long time.

I followed Snape down the corridor, hoping my face wasn't too red. I had even kept my tears for Merle from my friends.

At the sound of our footsteps, Lisa and Terry turned to look at us. Their eyes settled firstly on Snape, but flew quickly to me as we came to a halt in the sitting room. I was half-standing behind Snape, but that didn't stop the gaze of my friends being upon me.

"Firstly, let me make it clear," said Snape, in a very business-like tone, "that for the moment no information is to be divulged to you regarding what has happened. You may be sure that it is very serious and I am not requesting, but ordering you to keep your questions to yourselves."

Lisa and Terry maintained eye contact with Snape, but they now looked very uncomfortable at not being allowed to know what happened.

Snape glanced back at me before looking back at my friends. "Armilla will _not_ give you information either," he went on, his voice hard. "I am not certain how long it will be before you will be informed of the details, or if you even will be."

They both nodded. Lisa looked upset.

"Your discretion is needed," Snape said. "If anyone asks you about Armilla's whereabouts, you may simply tell them that she is in the castle, as would be expected."

Again, they nodded.

"Miss Turpin," said Snape, sounding like he was about to ask her a Potions-related question. "Armilla broke her wrist. I have mended it, but she is not to use it more than she has to for a couple of days. She also has other injuries which are healing. As Armilla needs to shower before she goes to bed-"

"I'll help her," said Lisa, jumping up.

Snape looked annoyed at being interrupted, but to his credit, didn't dock House points for such an offence. "Yes," he said, nodding. "I was about to ask you to be of assistance to her if she needs it." He turned to Terry. "Mr Boot, I would like for you to go down to the kitchens and find some house elves to prepare a small meal for Armilla-"

"I'm not hungry," I murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. "I just want a drink."

"And a hot drink that she will have with her meal," he finished, flashing me a glare. I knew I wasn't about to get out of eating.

"Yes, sir," said Terry, getting up. He moved towards the door and turned around. "How will I get back in, sir?"

"I will receive notice that you are outside," Snape answered. "I will let you in."

Terry nodded and then left.

Snape turned around to face me. "Go on then," he said. "I have a few things to do that cannot wait any longer."

I nodded. Lisa just stood behind Snape, looking a little uncomfortable. "Come on," I said to her, and she walked past Snape and followed me down the corridor to my bedroom.

Once inside, I lightened it, and then walked into the bathroom and did the same.

Lisa closed my bedroom door behind her and then gave a small gasp as we heard a loud screech.

Morag soared from her perch in my bedroom into the bathroom and landed on the space next to the basin, blinking up at me.

"Hi Morag," I said tiredly, "how are you?"

She gave a small hoot and moved forward to nibble affectionately at my finger.

"That's Morag?" asked Lisa, coming into the bathroom. My friends had never seen Morag.

"Yeah," I said softly, not meeting Lisa's gaze. I looked at Morag instead. "Morag, show Lisa what you can do."

Morag hooted in reply and then gave a little show. She went through every colour of the rainbow and grew and shrank. Lisa watched with her mouth slightly open.

"Wow," she breathed, when Morag had returned to her usual size and colour. "What a great present."

I nodded in agreement. "Go back, Morag," I instructed. She obliged me and went back to her perch, hooting softly.

I turned to Lisa. "I know what Severus said, but I think I will be okay having a shower."

She smiled. "I thought you'd say that. But I'm sure you'd prefer me to Madam Pomfrey, Mill. You're too proud to ask her for assistance."

I smiled back. "I know. Look, I'll see how I go, and if I need you I'll call you."

She nodded. "Alright." She took a step closer, looking serious. "I respect that I can't know anything, Mill, but we are here…if you need anything…"

I nodded. "I do know."

Lisa waited in my bedroom while I showered. Morag, who held delight in showing off, happily entertained Lisa with her colour-changing skills and other charms.

It was a lot more difficult than I had anticipated getting the dirt out of my hair with one hand, but I managed to do it.

I changed for bed, and we both sat on my bed so Lisa could wand-dry my hair.

"Thankyou," I said quietly, as she began. I generally hated being helped with simple things. Lisa was right. I was too proud.

"Your hair is getting too long, Mill," was Lisa's reply.

I shrugged. "Why were you and Terry waiting by the window?"

Lisa didn't answer at first. "We couldn't sleep," she said finally. "Knowing that you were missing. We just sat by the window, coming up with possible theories about where you were. We didn't actually think that we would see you coming out of the forest…but you have no idea how relieved we were when we did." She paused for a moment. "I bet Snape's relieved," she said quietly.

I nodded. "He is."

"Terry and I went down to the dungeons to ask him if he knew where you were," she whispered. "He sent us away without an answer, but he looked furious."

Again, I nodded. I couldn't really let Lisa in on the story.

We sat in silence until Lisa finished.

"You have a nice bedroom down here," she commented, putting her wand away. "It's very…_Slytherin_ out in the other room, but otherwise it seems a nice place to stay."

I smiled. "It _is_ a nice place to stay," I agreed. "Did you suspect lots of jars with potions or weird plants or insects suspended in them?"

Lisa laughed. "No, of course not."

"I guess Terry must be back by now," I said, standing up. I didn't want to leave Terry out in the sitting room with Snape. Snape's hospitality could often leave a lot to be desired, and I knew Terry would be uncomfortable.

I opened my bedroom door and Lisa followed me back out into the sitting room. Terry was sitting on the sofa, looking very out of place. In front of him on the coffee table was a tray with a sandwich on it, as well as tea.

Snape was nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks, Terry," I said, sitting down next to Terry on the sofa. Lisa sat down on the other side of him.

Terry gave me a nervous look. "You'd better eat that, Milly. I'll be in trouble if you don't."

"Where's-"

"He left for a moment," Terry answered.

My heart seemed to skip a beat. Snape wasn't nearby? Maybe Rougier had been right. If I hadn't suffered from separation anxiety before, I felt something like it spreading through me now.

"He let me in and then said he had to go somewhere for a few minutes," Terry went on, as I stared at the door. "He said to tell you to make sure you eat everything, and if you don't, I will have detention until the holidays."

"Oh," I said, looking at the sandwich. I really didn't want it, but the intimidated look Terry gave me motivated me. Terry had taken the man at his word. I certainly couldn't deny that Snape would do such a thing.

"We're glad you're back," said Terry, as I started eating. "You've no idea how worried we've been."

"I hope it doesn't get around the school," I said grimly, looking at the door again.

Terry shook his head. "It won't if we downplay it," he said, pouring me tea.

Lisa nodded in agreement. "Your seat in the exam was towards the back, so hardly anyone noticed that you weren't there, except for the examiners of course. Everyone else was too preoccupied with the exam to pay your absence much heed. We're all pretty used to you being down in the dungeons a lot now, so no one was suspicious when you weren't at the end-of-exam celebrations in the common room."

I nodded, lost in thought. Would my father be exposed for this? If so, then I certainly couldn't avoid the rumours that would start. The Ministry would notice my father's absence, since he was regularly there.

I tried to keep my mind from exploring such thoughts. "How was the exam?" I asked.

The both shrugged. "Boring," said Terry. "I'm not taking it for NEWT level, no matter what my mark is."

"What are you going to do about missing the exam?" Lisa asked, looking worried.

I shook my head. "I don't know; I suppose Severus will look into it."

I mainly listened to Lisa and Terry talk as I finished my meal, looking at the door far more often than necessary. I was grateful to hear them chatter though; it saved me from thinking about less pleasant things, such as the question of an engagement to Draco Malfoy.

I had just finished when the door opened and Snape came in. A strong sense of relief spread through me at the sight of him.

Closing the door, his eyes fell upon the empty plate on the tray. "Ah, well I see we won't have to arrange a detention, Mr Boot," he said.

Terry actually looked relieved. "No, sir."

Snape nodded curtly. "Thankyou both for your assistance. I think you should both return to Ravenclaw Tower before dawn." He opened the door again and my friends stood up.

"Remember to use discretion," Snape said quietly, watching them as they made their way over to him.

"Yes, sir," they replied.

They both turned around at the door.

"See you later, Mill," said Lisa, while Terry nodded.

"Bye."

They left and Snape closed the door after them. I watched in silence as he took out his wand and vanished the tray. He looked exhausted. He probably very much wanted to go to bed himself.

Putting his wand away, he joined me on the sofa.

"Does your head still hurt?" he asked, looking closely at me.

"Not really."

"Good." He leaned back into the sofa. "I want to pick up that conversation with you before you go to bed."

"Oh," I said. I hadn't really thought about how I was going to explain myself. But there was a question lingering on my mind.

"May I ask you something first?" I asked.

He inclined his head. "You may."

"How exactly does the pearl work? I couldn't communicate with you using the chocolate frog card, but you said that the pearl _did _contact you."

He didn't look surprised by my question. "The chocolate frog card," he began, "as you well know, was simply used in the beginning to inform you of any messages regarding your extra lessons. It just became convenient for us to use it to contact each other all the time." He paused for a moment. "However, no matter how useful it has been, don't assume it has an equivalent level of magic as the pearl."

I shook my head. "I don't think that."

"You are aware," he continued, "that the pearl you are wearing came from my vault at Gringott's, since you found its empty box when we were there."

I nodded. I remembered thinking it was weird at the time that Snape had loaned me a pearl that had belonged to his mother before he had discovered that we were related.

"This is just conjecture," he said, "what Mother has passed on in small anecdotes to me. Years ago when the bracelets were made, apparently they were supposed to have pearls on the lockets. The pearls were designed to carry out the same sort of function as the emerald and the locket on your bracelet. But not all the families involved in the design wanted a pearl. Hogwarts was founded around the same time, and many parents wanted a stone for whatever House their daughters were sorted into."

I looked down at the emerald on my bracelet. "So the first witch to wear this was a Slytherin?"

He nodded. "Though, like I said, this could just be a myth. The story goes that the pearls had already been produced when families started to change their minds. The families wanting pearls still used them, but the other families just kept the pearls, either for rings, or on a chain like the one you're wearing. The pearls which weren't used for the bracelets still contained to some degree the magic that would protect a pureblood witch. According to Mother, that pearl you're wearing is the one that should have been on the bracelet. It has been passed down through generations. The key point to note is that while your bracelet is fixed, the pearl isn't. You can take it off at any point. Any pureblood witch is able to use that pearl to contact a selected person, as long as the other person is also of pure blood. Your bracelet, as you know, is completely different. It serves you and you only, and as you discovered, strictly only helps you in regards to matters relating to pureblood family members."

I frowned. "Why didn't you tell me about this that day in the Secret Wing, when I asked you what you knew?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Because we didn't know that we were related then. I was not about to tell you that you were wearing my mother's pearl. If you remember, I told you that I would tell you factual information about the bracelet only. I knew the pearl could be used to contact other pureblood people, but the connection to the bracelet has never been proven."

"Why did you trust me with the pearl before we knew we were related if it's so important?" I asked. "Surely there could have been other ways of communication?"

He considered this for a moment, running a finger back and forth across his mouth. "We could have arranged other forms of communication," he admitted. "But the pearl delivers an instant message to the other person's mind-"

"What sort of message?" I asked.

He gave me a brief look of irritation for interrupting, but answered me anyway. "It's like a flash in the mind, and I receive knowledge of the location. Unfortunately though, a place guarded by a Secret Keeper will not be identified. When you contacted me, I just received a warning that you needed me, and the whereabouts were private. That immediately indicated that you were in a place guarded by a Secret Keeper."

"Oh. That's interesting," I said, distractedly.

"Indeed. May I go on now?"

I nodded, making a personal note not to interrupt again.

"The Headmaster had the idea that it would be beneficial for you to use the pearl," he paused, sneering slightly. "In fact, he insisted upon it."

"I'm sorry," I said. I had always thought that it had been Snape's idea.

He raised an eyebrow. "You have nothing to apologise for. I told you to wear it and you obeyed. After we discovered our relationship it seemed an absurd idea for you to take it off." His hard expression softened slightly. "It is well and truly yours now, and rightfully so."

We were both silent for a moment.

"Why did the Headmaster insist I wear it?" I asked.

"He knew it was a reliable means of communication," he said simply. "He knew that both our bloodlines were pure so it would work without trouble or the risk of being tampered with somehow…I believe he was suspicious about us after hearing what happened when I touched your locket during your detention. Perhaps he was hoping that we would try to prove it ourselves."

I smiled. "Not likely."

He smirked. "No. I was already furious enough that it was left to me to baby-sit you. But the Headmaster likes to get his own way."

"So the pearl is able to disregard wards that block communication?" I asked. "It couldn't give you the location, but you did receive two warnings?"

He nodded. "Since it was intended for the bracelet, the pearl carries a valuable source of magic. Now you can see just how useful it is?"

I nodded, looking down at the bracelet. "Now I regret the times I wished I could be rid of it."

He looked thoughtful. "No, you have a fair point. No one would like to have something on them that they can't take off."

Suddenly I had the impression that he wasn't just talking about me. The Dark Mark would never have been far from his mind.

"Now," he said. "Were those answers detailed enough to satisfy you?"

I nodded, resisting the urge to yawn.

"Alright then," he said, looking serious as he met my gaze. "Now perhaps you will oblige_ me_ by providing detailed answers."

"Oh," I said, feeling anxious. "I don't think I'll be very good at it."

His stern expression didn't falter. "I will take into account that you are tired," he said. "But answer me honestly and I am sure you will have no trouble."

"Alright," I said, uncertainly.

"When I came to you in the forest earlier," he said, his eyes fixed on mine, "almost immediately you said that you were sorry. Later on in the lab, you said again that you were sorry out of the blue. You offered no explanation each time and I would very much like to be informed the reason for you seeking my forgiveness."

I didn't answer at first. The man was just so articulate; it made me feel all the more anxious when trying to pull my thoughts together into a logical answer.

I took a deep breath and decided to get everything out at once, no matter how jumbled my explanation seemed.

"You've spent months and months teaching me how to defend myself," I said. "But I still managed to be the victim of an impostor with a portkey. I was disarmed as soon as we landed, even though I should have been alert enough to defend myself straightaway. I thought I had let you down as soon as I was disarmed. It should never have happened. Everything came down to luck. If I hadn't been carrying Fred and George's gift around then I wouldn't have found a way around Rougier. The fact that I noticed that I _had_ the pod was luck. The fact that the plan worked was luck, and the credit there goes to the twins."

I stopped for a moment to take a breath, and then went on.

"If the bracelet hadn't helped me then I wouldn't have been able to leave the place. It was just luck that I happened to be letting my frustration out on it and it helped me. I didn't defeat Father. I was_ lucky_ that he had been using so much magic on the wards that he was starting to feel drained. My shield failed under the Cruciatus curse and Father would have won, had it not been for the fact that he was drained. My magic couldn't handle the Cruciatus curse. It wasn't about my skill that made Father give up. I wasn't a hard competitor. He just gave up on himself. I brought back his wand, but it wasn't skill that allowed me to have it. I feel worse that _you_ have the skill to defeat him; _you_ deserve to take his wand. I took it because I was lucky and it was just _there_."

I stopped for another breath, and realised that through my rant, my eyes were brimming with tears again. Damn annoying things. Snape would kill me if I used Occlumency. As it was, he was just listening with an impassive face, his eyes never leaving mine.

"The Thestral just kept following me because of the blood. I didn't seek it out or have the bright idea to actually _use_ it. I actually wanted it to go away. I used the bracelet to get through the wards only because I knew I had been lucky before. Then I managed to fall down a slope when I should have been paying more attention, and I broke my wrist, which could have hindered things greatly if I hadn't had the Thestral to ride back."

I took a deep breath. "The whole night was about luck. It was luck that helped me to escape…I said that I was sorry because I felt so guilty the whole time. I let you down from the moment I was disarmed, and I had to rely on luck to get back. If I get into a similar situation again, I don't know if I will be so lucky. Father only went into hiding so the Malfoys couldn't claim me, but you'll have to put up with the interrogation over Father's absence from the Dark Lord because of it."

I stopped to take another breath, noticing that my heart was racing. I blinked back tears again and continued. "It's not like I went through anything overly traumatic. People have put up with a lot worse. I'm sorry that I lost my wand so quickly…and I'm sorry that it will lead to a lot more trouble for you."

Finally finished, I took a long breath and found that I didn't feel better at all for spilling my mind. I felt more exhausted if anything.

For a long time, Snape said nothing at all. When I had finished, he had continued to watch me for a few seconds, but had then turned his gaze to the space in front of him.

I leaned back on the sofa, waiting for him to make a response.

"You expect too much of yourself," he said finally, his voice low.

"No I don't," I said thickly.

He glared at me. "Yes you _do_," he snapped angrily. "And do _not_ argue with me."

I didn't reply. I _didn't_ expect too much of myself. I only expected what I thought I should be able to handle, nothing more.

"You've only just turned sixteen," he went on, his voice hard. "The fact that you feel guilt over something most qualified witches and wizards would struggle to handle is most unsettling to me. I feel I am to blame for this sort of reasoning to have grown in your mind."

"No," I said at once. "I don't-"

"Do not interrupt me," he said, narrowing his eyes. "If you had gotten into this situation without my teaching, you would have tried to make the best of the situation, but you wouldn't have had such high expectations of yourself. I have taught you some very complex magic, and as a result you have put pressure on yourself to never falter."

I shook my head slightly.

He raised an eyebrow. "You disagree? Tell me, would your expectations of yourself have been the same if I had not taught you a thing? Keep in mind that you had not been in the habit of duelling before I started teaching you. Also consider the fact that your magic had not been explored and expanded to the extent it is now." He gave me a stern look. "So enlighten me, Armilla, have your expectations remained the same?"

"I suppose not," I said quietly.

He nodded curtly. "In teaching you, I hoped that if the occasion ever came up, which it did, you would be more prepared to defend yourself, and you were."

"But I wasn't," I insisted. "I was disarmed."

"Do you think _my_ magical competency is extensive, Armilla?" he asked.

"Yes, of course."

"Well I should consider it blow to my ego then that I was disarmed by Potter, Weasley and Granger when you were in your third year."

I stared at him. I hadn't known _that_.

"If you are affronted that Father, a skilled and experienced wizard, disarmed you after a surprise portkey trip, then should I consider myself grossly incapable because three third-years managed to rob me of my wand?" He gave me a cold look.

"No…" I said, feeling terrible.

"Do you see my point then?" he said harshly, his black eyes glittering.

I nodded. "I do."

"I feel guilty now," he said quietly, his face softening slightly, "because throughout all the months of teaching you, I didn't take the time to instil in you the fact that you could never be fully prepared for any situation. You speak of luck as the enemy of skill. Yes, you had luck, but the greatest figures in history often relied upon luck. It is about knowing what to do with that luck, Armilla. You used your good judgement to decide the best means to use the Weasley twins' pod. If you had used it at the wrong moment, then it could have turned disastrous."

I nodded, feeling stupid that he had to point this out to me.

"Yes, it was lucky that your attention caught your bracelet," he went on, "but it was your _mind _that worked out what you had to say to it to make it work for you. Surely you can see that?"

I nodded again.

"Yes, Father's magic was drained, but he was duelling with you for awhile it seems before he resorted to the Cruciatus curse. He wouldn't have made that choice if he had been able to defeat you with a simple disarming spell. It appears that your shield held him off all the time. Am I correct?"

"Yes."

"And did your shield crumble as soon as the first _Crucio_ hit it?"

"No…I managed to hold it up; it just shook a lot."

He looked extremely interested all of a sudden. He leaned forward and looked at me closely.

"So it crumbled on the second _Crucio_?"

I shook my head. "No, it crumbled on the third."

He was now regarding me with a calculating look. "You are saying that the shield we worked on for months managed to survive two lots of the Cruciatus curse?"

I nodded. "It just kept shaking; I couldn't hold it up any longer."

He sighed. "No wonder you're exhausted. Your magical ability was put to the test."

"In the end I wanted him to use the curse."

His look remained shrewd. "Go on."

"The Cruciatus curse requires a great deal more energy than a disarming spell. I could tell that it was draining Father even though I was struggling. I held up for as long as possible in the hope that it would finish off Father."

He raised an eyebrow. "Finish off?"

"Defeat him, I mean," I said quickly. "I worded that badly." I suddenly felt alarmed. "What if I killed him?"

He shook his head. "You wouldn't have killed him, Armilla." He folded his arms. "And so you suffered the Cruciatus curse on Father's third attempt?"

I nodded.

His face looked impassive, but there was something in his eyes that showed feeling. "I hope you never have to suffer it again," he said quietly.

We were both silent for a moment, lost in thought.

He suddenly shook his head, a look of bewilderment on his face. "And to think you believe that you survived a duel with Father based on _luck_. It may have worked to your advantage that he was drained, Armilla. I would have used that to _my_ advantage too. Your shield certainly wasn't supposed to have handled two bouts of the Cruciatus curse. We hadn't developed it to that level yet. If that's not skill and regimented control of magic, then I don't know what is. I am going to put it down to exhaustion, but your logic tonight has baffled me."

"I shouldn't have said all those things," I admitted.

He shook his head. "No, I am glad that you did. I would rather know your thoughts than try to guess at them; then we are free to examine where you obtained certain ideas. One in particular that I would like to clear up is in relation to Father's wand. I believe you feel it was _my_ right to take the wand in triumph, not yours."

I nodded. "You have more to accuse him of."

"Perhaps," he said, "but only because I have spent more time in this world than you. However, let me assure you, Armilla, that when you took out his wand earlier, the sense of triumph it produced within me was unlike any other I have ever experienced. Yes, I had dreamed of taking his wand in victory one day, but that did not mean that I was not proud that you did it instead."

I frowned. "Even though he was magically drained at the time?"

Sneering slightly, he placed his hand over mine. "Yes. It appears that you don't want to give yourself credit for such an admirable escape."

I shook my head. "I escaped, but it was far from admirable."

"Oh, I beg to differ," he said curtly, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. "And you know how rarely I give out praise, even to you, so recognise it when I offer it."

"I'm sorry for making you feel guilty," I whispered, leaning against him. "I don't want you to feel guilty. I was too thick to realise that I wouldn't be completely prepared."

"Call yourself thick again," he said acidly, "or any word like it and I will set you a ten foot essay detailing the points why you cannot possibly be…and you'll have to use small writing because you'll struggle to fit the reasons into ten feet."

Despite the alarming threat, which I wouldn't have put past him to carry out, I smiled.

"As for the guilt I feel," he went on, in a much softer tone, "it will pass." He moved his hand up and down my back. "I place so much value on learning complex and powerful skills that I do not always stop to analyse the psychological effects behind conquering them."

It was so warm in his arms that it was hard to resist closing my eyes. I was so tired. But I still very much needed to know something. "Won't the Dark Lord interrogate you over Father's absence?"

Snape's hand rested on my head. "More than likely."

My heart seemed to skip a beat at those words. I had expected them, but it didn't make hearing them any easier.

"But that is my job," he said quietly. "That is something I must deal with, and something you must not spend time worrying about."

I closed my eyes. "Guess I won't be visiting Father this summer…"

"Indeed not," he said. "You will have to put up with me all summer I fear."

"I can live with that," I said sleepily, "as long as you don't employ a governess."

"Speaking of whom," he said, his voice laced with so much fury that I opened my eyes. "I don't take kindly to my threats being ignored. If I come across Zita Rougier ever again…"

I smiled, closing my eyes again. "You can ask her if she's misplaced her wand."

Though my eyes were closed, I knew his lips were twitching into a smile.

"Severus?"

"Mm?"

"Do you think Morag and Docky would object to having a Thestral at home?"

He cleared his throat. "No, but _I_ would. A hyperactive house elf, a conceited Metamorphmagus owl and a teenager with an alarming degree of humility are enough to be getting on with."


	71. Separation Anxiety

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 70

I blearily opened my eyes to the sound of Morag's soft hooting. Rolling over, I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting sleep to take me again. My bed was so warm; I had no wish to leave it anytime soon. As much as a large part of me wanted to sleep, an annoying part of my mind had well and truly woken up and seemed to want to think things over.

I didn't remember going to bed. I remembered talking to Snape out in the sitting room, but after that I couldn't remember anything else. I must have fallen asleep in his arms.

I was surprised that I hadn't had nightmares. I hadn't started occluding before I went to sleep, so my mind had been open for horrendous tales.

I sat up suddenly at looked at the clock on my bedside table. 12:53 pm. Surely whatever Lucius Malfoy had been doing in the Department of Mysteries would be over by now? Was an engagement to Draco on the cards?

I shuddered at such a thought. The idea of being the wife of that blond pointy-faced twit was enough to turn me off food.

I wondered if Harry and his friends were alright. I assumed that Ron and Hermione were two of the five that had accompanied Harry to the Department of Mysteries. I had no idea who else had joined them. I wasn't close to Harry or Ron, and I had never felt a strong desire to get to know either of them better, but Hermione was a different story. As much as I hoped they were all okay, it was Hermione who really worried me.

I laid back down and was about to close my eyes when I heard voices. Morag had stopped hooting and so I could now hear the muffled sounds coming from out in the sitting room. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I was able to make out who was there. One voice, of course, belonged to my brother, and I felt an unexpected jolt inside me at the sound of it. I knew it was from relief of his being nearby. I didn't want him to go anywhere.

The other voice belonged to Dumbledore. How could he be back at Hogwarts? The Ministry was after him. Maybe Umbridge had no idea that he was there…As I closed my eyes again, something Snape had said hours ago suddenly came back to me. Umbridge had gone into the forest, and as far as Snape knew, she hadn't emerged.

I hoped the fact that Dumbledore was currently out in the sitting room with my brother was a good sign. What I wanted to hear more than anything else was of Lucius Malfoy's failure. I hoped more than anything else that he had failed.

I knew not to go out into the sitting room. Snape and Dumbledore would probably be discussing a range of Order-related things, not to mention my ordeal with Father.

I rolled onto my other side, willing my mind to stop thinking so hard. I wanted to go back to sleep. I felt like I had only slept for a couple of hours; and my body felt sore all over. I supposed it was from a large number of muscles protesting at the amount of exercise I had gotten whilst escaping Father. I had never run so much in my life. Of course, enduring the Cruciatus curse wouldn't have done my muscles any good either. My body was reminding me of it, and seemed to be recommending not to do it again.

Sighing, I tried occluding, and before long I found myself drifting in and out of sleep. It seemed like I was only sleeping for a couple of minutes at a time. The third time I awoke I heard footsteps coming down the corridor, and the muffled voices were getting louder. I closed my eyes and put my hand over my ear in an attempt to drown out the outside sounds.

I still heard my bedroom door being opened, as well as the footsteps now inside the room. I opened my eyes as a hand closed around my wrist and lifted it away from my ear. Snape was standing over me, frowning slightly. The sight of him created a sense of relief within me, quite like the one I had felt before.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"Sore," I said honestly.

"Well that's to be expected," said another, very familiar voice from the doorway. Dumbledore. I turned my head slightly to see him standing in the doorway, wearing deep red robes. His eyes didn't have the twinkle they usually did, and his face looked drawn, but the warm smile on his face was still enough to make me give a small smile in return.

He moved further into the room and settled himself in the armchair next to my bed. Snape, who was standing on the other side, sat down on my bed, took out his wand and began casting various diagnostic spells, no doubt checking that everything was healing.

"Are you Headmaster again?" I asked, looking at Dumbledore as Snape examined my bandaged wrist.

He inclined his head. "Only if you permit it, Armilla," he answered, smiling again. Snape snorted.

I smiled. "So Umbridge never came back?"

"She is currently resting in the hospital wing," the Headmaster explained. "I retrieved her from a group of centaurs this morning, and she will leave the school when she has recovered." His tone seemed to have an air of finality, which I supposed was to imply that he was offering no more information on the subject.

"I returned to Hogwarts early this morning, Armilla," he went on, "with quite a story to give Severus. However, your brother also had an extraordinary story for me. It appears you had quite an ordeal and are to be commended on how you handled it."

"Mind the amount of praise you bestow upon her, Headmaster," said Snape, sneering. "She generally has difficulty accepting it." He let go of my wrist, and I found myself missing his touch. This was ridiculous! I was _not _a needy person. Why was I suddenly feeling like this? It was comfort enough, after all, that he was sitting very close to me. I wasn't about to take his hand in front of the Headmaster though. Snape generally shielded his warmer side from other people. My friends had witnessed him holding my hand, but I knew that would be a one-off.

"Difficulty accepting it?" Dumbledore repeated, looking curiously at me. "You showed an astonishing amount of bravery and your good judgement led to your admirable escape. Your control over your magic, especially whilst enduring an Unforgivable, demonstrates how much dedication you have put into developing your magic through these past months." He looked at Snape. "Your brother is to be commended for that too, having been just as dedicated to teaching you."

Snape met his gaze, but gave no comment. He seemed to be thinking about something else.

"I am sorry that you were put in so much danger, Armilla," the Headmaster went on, looking grave. "I know it was a difficult time for you in the aftermath of Shar's attack last year, especially considering Merle had just passed away. You will need strength once again to deal with what your father has just put you through."

"I'm fine," I said honestly, not wanting to think about Shar. I _was_ fine. I was a little sore, but that would pass. I didn't want Snape to leave my side. I wasn't sure if _that_ would pass…

Dumbledore nodded, though he shared a brief look with Snape before speaking to me again. Did they think I would have trouble getting through this?

"There are many things that need to be discussed, Armilla, and I will leave Severus to share those things with you." He took my good hand in his. "I merely came in to offer my best wishes to you and to congratulate you on your conduct. I will discuss the custody arrangement later, as I need to get in touch with a few contacts. Fortunately for us, there has been some movement in positions at the Ministry." He let go of my hand and stood up, looking at my brother.

"Hopefully I will be able to give you an answer before the day is out, Severus," he said. "I must go and look into other Ministry business as well. I also need to speak to the examiners, and I will deal with our dear Dolores. I trust that you will be down here for the remainder of the day?"

Snape nodded. "Yes."

I was relieved. At least he wasn't going anywhere. Unless he was called…

"Good," Dumbledore replied, walking to the door. Snape got up too, presumably to show him out.

The Headmaster looked back at me. "I expect to see you soon, Armilla."

I merely nodded. My throat seemed stuck all of a sudden. There were so many things that needed to be asked. I didn't know where to begin. I was kind of glad that Dumbledore was leaving Snape to tell me everything. As much as I respected the Headmaster, I just wanted my brother's company at the moment.

Snape followed Dumbledore out of the room and I immediately missed his presence. I knew it was silly, seeing as he was still a short way away, but I didn't feel as secure as I had when he had been right beside me.

I stared down at my hands, noticing that I was gripping the hem of my bed sheet with my good hand more tightly than necessary. I didn't let go; biting my lip, I stared down at my other bandaged hand, thinking about Lucius and Draco Malfoy, and Hermione…and Father…and Harry…

"Armilla?"

I jumped, surprised to see Snape return so quickly. I had thought that he would continue talking with Dumbledore out in the sitting room for a minute or two. He stopped at the foot of my bed, frowning slightly as he looked at me.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded distractedly. "Do you think you will get called today?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer. I knew the Dark Lord would call him sooner or later.

"I don't know," he answered, coming to sit on the bed next to me. He reached over and separated my hand from the sheet, still frowning. "I do _not_ want you to spend time thinking about that. Understood?"

I nodded, grateful when he squeezed my hand slightly before letting go. He took out his wand and summoned a potion and a glass from the lab.

I sat up, feeling my muscles protest, as he poured a few drops of the cream-coloured potion into the glass and held it out to me. "This will numb the pain," he said.

It was wonderful to have a Potions Master for a brother. I recognised the potion as one I had helped him brew. I downed the potion and noticed the effects immediately. "Thankyou," I said, as he took the glass back.

"I _do_ know that we won't be organising an engagement party for you any time soon," he said smoothly, setting the bottle and glass down on the bedside table.

An enormous amount of relief spread through me. I couldn't find words to express my happiness at hearing those words. I just gazed back at Snape, smiling.

"I thought that would make you smile," he said, returning the smile.

"Lucius Malfoy failed?" I breathed, hardly daring to believe it.

"He is currently in Azkaban, along with other Death Eaters, having been defeated by the Order members that went to the aid of Potter and his friends at the Ministry last night. Of course the Dark Lord would be absolutely livid about this right now, seeing as Lucius was intrusted with an important task. Lucius will not get his reward. You will _not _marry Draco."

I was so thrilled that I suddenly had tears in my eyes. Where had they come from? They were probably still lingering just under the surface like they had been before I had fallen asleep.

I took a shuddering breath, gripping the sheet again. I was just so relieved.

"You know," I said tentatively, my voice just above a whisper. "I know it's an awful thing to say, but I'm happy that Draco will suffer over his father being in Azkaban."

Snape looked thoughtful. "It is unlike you to think that way…but I'm sure you would agree that your feelings about this stem from Draco's recent treatment of you."

I nodded. "He was so certain things were going to go their way…he was so smug."

"Indeed," he said, sneering slightly. "I too am overjoyed that Lucius failed, and I know it will be good for Draco to see his father disgraced by the Dark Lord. It won't be pleasant by any means, but perhaps there is hope that Draco will come to see his father and the Dark Lord in a different light."

I nodded again, thinking about the repercussions of all this. I looked over at him suddenly.

"Are all the others alright? Is Hermione okay?"

Snape's eyes had narrowed at my mention of Hermione's name.

"Miss Granger was injured, as were many others, but she'll be fine." He sneered. "In fact she'll be well enough to be back to her irritating know-it-all form in no time."

I frowned. "There's nothing wrong with Hermione," I said quietly.

He scowled at me. "She's a friend of _Potter's_. Enough said."

"So are the Weasley twins," I retorted, "and if it hadn't been for them, I would still be wherever Father is right now."

Snape glared at me for a moment and I could tell he was about to rebuke me, but suddenly his stern expression changed to a more reserved one.

"Touché," he said quietly, looking away.

"Did everyone survive?" I asked softly, moving the subject away from the Gryffindors so I could avoid Snape's anger. My friendship with Hermione was a sore point between the two of us.

He shook his head, still not looking at me.

I felt a pang in my chest.

"Sirius Black met his end," he said with a voice that held no emotion.

Poor Harry. He must be devastated. "I thought he was in hiding," I said, still gripping the sheet. It was oddly comforting.

"He was," said Snape curtly, his lip curling as he stared fixedly at the wall. "He was supposed to stay behind at Headquarters, but being the idiotic Gryffindor he was, he threw caution to the wind."

"I thought Harry had had a vision of Black at the Department of Mysteries."

"Yes, and that was all it was," he said, his voice flat. "A vision. An effective means employed by the Dark Lord to lure Potter there."

I felt sick. "The Dark Lord was there?" I whispered.

He nodded, turning back to face me. "The Dark Lord sought a prophecy that had been made years ago regarding himself and Potter. That is to be kept to yourself. He lured Potter there to retrieve it for him." Snape paused and shook his head, sneering. "For all his Gryffindor bravado, Potter failed to identify the vision for what it really was. In the end the prophecy was destroyed, Death Eaters were captured, people were injured and I'm sure the Dark Lord is in a perfect rage right now."

"If only Harry had applied himself more to Occlumency," I said softly. I didn't say that Snape should have kept teaching him. It wasn't my place to say it and I knew he wouldn't appreciate it.

"Yes," he said abruptly, his eyes flashing maliciously. "If only he _had_."

We were both silent for a moment. Snape seemed to be getting more agitated. I was thinking of Harry. I didn't know how close he had become to his godfather, but I knew that what had happened would be tearing him apart. I could only think of how if I had been in a similar situation and Snape had died…I shuddered. I did _not_ want to think about that.

"I should mention that Nymphadora Tonks was also injured," said Snape, breaking the silence.

I felt yet another pang in my chest as I looked at him in alarm.

"She'll be alright," he said hastily. "She's currently in St Mungo's."

I breathed another sigh of relief. So much had happened in such a short time. It was too much to get my head around.

"What's going to happen with Father and Rougier?"

Snape reached out and again separated my hand from the sheet. He didn't let go of it this time, choosing instead to hold it in his.

"I daresay Father will remain in hiding," he said quietly, meeting my gaze. "I cannot say for Rougier. If she is wise then she will stay in hiding. She would know that the Order will be after her now, like they will be after Father. The Dark Lord will be after Father. He does not look kindly upon those who desert him. Father does not have the magical strength to keep himself protected if he comes out of hiding."

"Won't the Ministry report his absence?" I asked, suddenly terrified. It would not be good to have my father in _The Daily Prophet_ as a missing person.

"As of last night, Dumbledore's influence at the Ministry increased," he said. "Fudge has no choice but to rely on the Headmaster. The wizarding world is finally going to be told that the Dark Lord has returned. As far as dealing with Father goes, the hope is that Dumbledore will be able to handle the situation quietly through his contacts. That is the _hope_. At the moment, I don't know how."

Snape let go of my hand and stood up. "I am going to go and get you something to eat."

I tried to ignore the unsettling feeling that this created. I didn't want him to leave.

I was _not_ going to start being clingy. Then Rougier would be right. I could handle being alone for a few minutes…I hoped it would only be a few minutes.

"Armilla?"

I looked up to see Snape regarding me with a slightly concerned expression. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Why?"

He shook his head. "The look on your face told me the contrary."

"I'm fine," I insisted, meeting his gaze.

He looked doubtful, but didn't push the subject. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

"Couldn't you just use the Floo to contact the kitchens?" I said, trying to sound indifferent.

He raised an eyebrow. "I could, but I need to speak with your Head of House about your missed exam. As I understand it, Professor Flitwick is currently down in the kitchens speaking to the House Elves about Umbridge's situation. Their working conditions were far from adequate when she was Headmistress."

"Oh." I could handle being alone for fifteen minutes. I was often alone in our quarters. Why was I feeling so insecure? I felt weak and I didn't like it. I had to snap out of it.

"What will happen with the exam?" I asked, now worried about my missed History of Magic exam.

"Dumbledore is going to obliviate Umbridge's knowledge of you missing the exam," he said. "I am going to speak to Flitwick about writing you a pass from the exam. It will be backdated and it will be placed upon Umbridge's desk for Dumbledore to find. The story will be that Umbridge never noticed the pass on her desk and so had no knowledge of you missing the exam when the examiners informed her."

"Won't I receive a fail then?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Dumbledore is going to speak with the examiners about arranging a deferred exam in a few days."

Thank goodness for that. The last thing I felt like doing was studying for History of Magic again, but I was glad that I would have the opportunity to take the exam.

Snape frowned as I got out of bed. "Where are you going?" he asked sternly.

"To the bathroom," I replied.

He nodded. "As long as you stay down here today. I know the other Ravenclaws are celebrating, but you need the day to rest."

"I don't want to go anywhere," I said quietly.

He stared at me for a moment before moving to the door. "I'll be back shortly," he said.

"Fifteen minutes?"

He turned around in the doorway, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Approximately."

I nodded and he turned and swept away. I pushed away the gnawing feeling that had appeared when I heard the door open and close.

I went to the bathroom and then got dressed. Snape hadn't said anything about staying in bed, so I made my bed, fed Morag and then went out to the sitting room.

My History of Magic study notes were still sitting on the dining table. I picked them up and sat down on the sofa to wait for Snape to come back. I found that reading over my notes on the goblin riots was not as much of a distraction as I hoped. I kept looking up at the door every minute or two.

After twenty minutes had gone by, I found myself looking at the door more than I was looking at my notes. A sudden noise from my bedroom made me jump, and I had my hand on my wand before my senses returned to tell me that it was simply Morag.

I was paranoid. That was all. It would pass. If I had to be alone I would rather just stay down in our quarters. I didn't want to go out into the school by myself. I didn't want to see Draco Malfoy. I didn't want to socialise. I didn't want to talk to people who weren't really themselves. After all, Lucius Malfoy had turned out to be Father. Father could have more people working for him than Rougier. What if he sent someone else on Polyjuice Potion into the school? That was if Father wasn't still lying in the forest where I had left him…

No, the school year was nearly over. Then I could go home to the Merrigan Estate with Snape. No seeing Father. No seeing Draco Malfoy. No faking politeness.

The gnawing feeling within me vanished when the door opened and Snape came in.

"Studying already?" he said dryly, glancing at the notes in my hand as he sat down next to me.

"I didn't know what else to do," I replied.

He reached over and took the notes out of my hand. After placing them on the coffee table, he turned back and looked seriously at me. "Our lunch will be magically sent in a few minutes. In the meantime, we need to discuss something."

I nodded.

"I have not seen Draco Malfoy yet today," he said, "but as relieved as we are to have Lucius in prison, we must not show that to Draco. Keep in mind that Draco is not to know that Father took you. You and I should still both be in the dark about this whole reward issue."

Again, I nodded. "But Draco thinks he saw his father yesterday," I said. "What if he asks Umbridge about seeing him? She obviously didn't."

Snape looked unfazed. "Umbridge is quite disoriented at the moment," he said indifferently. "If Draco went to see her he'd realise that. For all he knows Lucius could have met up with Umbridge before going to the Department of Mysteries."

He sighed and his dark eyes met mine. "The future is so uncertain, Armilla. We don't know how long Lucius will be in Azkaban. It is best to keep up the same façade with Draco as before. Avoid conversations with him, but if they are inevitable, be polite."

I nodded. "Alright. Do you really think he'll come near me now? I mean, of course I'm not supposed to know about the deal his father made, but won't his pride be crushed?"

Snape nodded. "It's difficult to squash the pride of a Malfoy, but I feel certain that Draco's ego will receive quite a blow over this."

There was a sudden noise, which again startled me. We both looked over in the direction of the table to see that our lunch had arrived. The noise had been made by a spoon colliding with a fork.

"Come," said Snape, standing up.

I got up and followed him to the table.

"Did Professor Flitwick agree to write a pass for the exam?" I asked, as we sat down.

"He did," he answered, picking up his knife and fork. "Dumbledore has filled him in to a certain extent. Flitwick is writing the pass as we speak and hopefully this evening Dumbledore will have more news about the exam."

We ate in silence for a few moments, both listening to the quiet hooting of Morag in my bedroom.

"I know you wish to study," said Snape, "but I don't want you to do any today. You know all of your notes by heart now anyway. If you really need to look at your notes, I suggest you start tomorrow."

"What else am I going to do?" I asked.

"Give yourself a break," he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'm not tired."

"I disagree," he said curtly. "I have a number of potions to brew this afternoon for the Order's use. I don't want you using your wrist, but I can give you things to do that will only require your left hand."

I nearly smiled at what Snape considered taking a break. I supposed it meant helping him do the simple things, like preparing ingredients.

I nodded. "Alright."

"Good," he said. "Now, the Headmaster also said earlier that we are free to visit Mother in his office tomorrow morning. You are not to mention to Mother what happened. If she asks you how your last exam was, just tell her that it was fine."

I nodded again, used to having to cover up things in front of Mother. I thought back to the last time we had visited her. It was getting harder and harder to activate the ring, and often Mother barely had time to say hello before she disappeared again. She had told me originally though that she wasn't going anywhere until she was satisfied that I was safe.

"The ring," I said softly to myself.

"I beg your pardon?" came my brother's voice.

I looked over at him. "The ring," I said again. "The ring must have sensed all this would happen. It knew that custody would be taken away from Father, which is what Mother wanted all along. She's been fading because the ring sensed it was coming soon."

Snape stared at me, frowning slightly. "Mother did admit to not knowing all the properties of the ring," he admitted. "Perhaps the ring _did_ sense something."

"Would it mean that the ring knows I'll always be safe from Father?" I asked quietly.

Snape considered this for a moment, his black eyes fixed on mine.

"It's a good theory, Armilla, and most likely true," he paused, looking slightly troubled. "But it would not be wise to place full trust of our future on a magical object we don't know everything about."

Slowly I nodded and went back to my lunch.

"That means she's going to fade forever soon, doesn't it?" I said softly, a moment later.

"Yes," he said quietly, glancing briefly at me before fixing his eyes on his plate.

We were both silent. Mother had died a long time ago. Snape must have grieved for her then; I had been too little. Though it was her spirit in this case, it felt as if she was going to die all over again. It would be the end of contact between us. It would mark the end of my short lived relationship with my mother. Snape had once pointed out that I was lucky to have had that opportunity, considering she had died. All the same, it didn't make the idea of losing her any easier.

Snape would have to go through it again. I knew that he had often gone up to talk to Mother in Dumbledore's office. Though they argued a fair bit, they still had a strong relationship.

We finished our lunch with little conversation. I was thinking about Mother and I guessed that Snape was doing the same. When we had finished, Snape stood up and gestured for me to follow him.

I followed him into the lab and sat down at the workbench. Snape accioed a bunch of ingredients over to the bench and instructed what had to be done with them. I worked silently as he set up a few cauldrons.

It was strange to be sitting there, grinding scarab beetles when less than twenty-four hours ago I had been in an unknown place duelling with my father. It just seemed like I had gone from one extreme to the other. I put more force than necessary into grinding the beetles as I thought of Rougier's smirking face. It was strange that my father had used an Unforgivable on me and yet I was thinking about causing pain to the governess.

My mood seemed to be changing every few minutes. It felt as if it had been that way since I had woken up. One minute I was terrified, the next I was happy beyond belief. Next I was worried and paranoid, and then I was a little depressed over the thought of losing Mother. Now I was just angry at the thought of Rougier and Father.

"Armilla," said Snape quietly, as he joined me at the workbench. "Who are you pretending those scarab beetles are?"

I paused, looking at the ground beetles in front of me. "Rougier," I responded.

"Rougier?" he repeated, pulling a bunch of Abyssinian Shrivelfigs towards him. "Of all the people you could have picked?"

"I know there are others that deserve it more," I said slowly, thinking about Rougier's pointed face.

He gave me a knowing look. "I take it she was baiting you yesterday?"

"I promised you ages ago that I wouldn't snap again," I said quietly, reaching for more beetles. I had snapped on the night before I left Father's house. I had been left to suffer the result of most of Father's most vicious hexes. "I just feel better thinking these beetles are her."

"Understood," he said simply. "Though you might receive more satisfaction just thinking about how easily you trapped her with the Weasleys' powder. I'm sure Rougier would feel humiliated by it."

I nodded. "I hadn't thought of that."

"That's because you don't think of things that involve giving yourself credit," he said dryly, sneering at me.

I shrugged. "There's plenty more things to cut up or shred," I said, looking at the ingredients on the bench. "There's just enough for Father and both Malfoys."

"I suppose I'll have to find a substitute for Black," he said gruffly, looking down at the figs. "He's not as irritating when he's dead."

I said nothing. I knew that Snape had loathed Sirius Black. All the same, the mention of him made me think of Harry again. I wondered how Harry was at the moment, after being tricked into going to the Ministry and then losing his godfather. I didn't care how much my brother hated both of them; I really felt for Harry. If only he had mastered Occlumency.

"You have yet to tell me how you are today," Snape said a couple of minutes later.

I looked over at him, surprised. "I told you I was fine before."

He gave me a dour look. "I know that other than the things that are still healing you are physically fine. In every other sense of the word you couldn't possibly be fine and I wouldn't believe you if you told me you were."

I didn't answer at first. I didn't know what to say. "I don't know what I'm feeling," I said finally, when Snape had given me a pointed look. "I don't know because it keeps changing." It was strange how Snape's choice of conversation was now making a lump grow in my throat. I hated getting emotional.

"A lot has happened within a small space of time," he said quietly, now chopping up roots. "It is a lot to take in." He paused and looked seriously at me. "Don't trick yourself into thinking that it hasn't affected you."

"I haven't," I said softly, meeting his gaze.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Events like these can cause a significant amount of emotional damage, Armilla."

"I can handle it," I insisted. "People have been through much worse things than what I went through." I was sure Snape had suffered much worse. Emotional damage? I didn't have that. I was fine. I didn't like being left alone, but other than that, I was perfectly fine.

"That is beside the point," he said, his voice hard. "That does not indicate that your situation should be overlooked." He glared slightly at me. "I am not saying that you can't cope, Armilla, so do not labour under that delusion. I am trying to make it clear to you that what happened would have had an effect on you, whether you have noticed it or not. I would expect you to come to me if you are feeling on edge, no matter how insignificant it might seem to you. Pain of any sort on your part is always significant to _me_."

I looked down at the beetles, blinking away the unwanted tears that his last comment had brought to my eyes.

"I feel weak when I have to bring up emotional problems," I said quietly, not meeting his gaze.

"Why?" he said indifferently. "You would be inhuman if you didn't have them. Everyone experiences emotional problems, Armilla, that is a part of life. What makes us different is how we cope with them…or the environment in which we have to cope with them."

That created a weird sensation inside me. I was lucky that I had a guardian who encouraged talking about problems. Snape had grown up with a man who had discouraged showing emotion.

"So do not assume that you are weak," he said, frowning at me. "It takes strength to share such things."

I said nothing more; the lump in my throat had grown bigger. I was feeling a little miserable and a little reassured at the same time; as a result my head was swimming with colliding emotions.

We worked together for a couple of hours, during which I grew very tired. Relying on one hand to do most of the work was exhausting for my arm.

"I think you've done enough," said Snape, when my stirring of one of the potions became very slow. "As long as you don't study, go and take a break."

I nearly smiled at that. Apparently we were already taking a break. I wasn't happy about leaving his presence, but at least I knew he would be nearby.

I walked into my bedroom, feeling exhausted and a little out of spirits. I sat down on my bed, wondering what to do with myself. I looked over at Morag to find that she was sleeping, her face partially hidden by her wing.

I pulled my shoes off and laid back on my bed, not intending to sleep. I just wanted to lie there for awhile…

o o o o o o o o o o

I pulled the blanket over my head as the noise in the room grew louder. I would have to speak to Morag about unnecessary hooting, especially when one was trying to sleep.

_Sleep_? I suddenly sat up and looked at the clock. 6:04 pm. I had only intended to lie down for awhile, but I had ended up sleeping for nearly two hours! I suddenly became aware that I was under the covers, not on top of them like I had been before I had fallen asleep. Snape had obviously decided that I was better off sleeping.

I wondered where he was. I could hear no sound of movement outside my bedroom. I climbed out of bed and moved towards to the door.

The door to the lab, which was opposite my bedroom, was open, but the lights were out. I went out into the sitting room and felt my stomach churn when I found that no one was there either. I turned back and noticed that Snape's bedroom door was closed, as it always was. I highly doubted that he had decided to have a rest too.

I didn't know why I suddenly felt so insecure. This was so ridiculous! I was by myself all the time! All the same, that didn't stop the feeling of panic that was spreading through me. I was being so stupid. I _knew_ that. I was sixteen years old. I didn't need my brother around to hold my hand.

But I wanted him to be nearby…

Taking deep breaths I turned back and took a few more steps into the sitting room. I noticed a small piece of parchment on the table that hadn't been there before. I walked over to the table and saw my brother's handwriting on it.

_Armilla, _

_I am in the Slytherin common room sorting out a few problems that have just arisen. I will be back soon. _

_Severus _

Letting out a deep sigh, I moved over to the sofa. I sat down heavily and looked at my shaking hands. He would be back soon. There was nothing to worry about…

How long ago had he written it though? How _soon_ was soon? Had he just left? Was I going to be alone for ages?

It was okay though. I could handle being alone. I was sixteen. I was not a clingy five-year-old. I had duelled with my father…I could manage being alone in our heavily warded quarters.

I would be more at ease if he came back though…

I nearly jumped a mile when I heard a noise. I turned to see that dinner had appeared on the table. It was set for three.

A moment later I understood why. The door opened and Snape came in, followed by Dumbledore.

"I was just coming to wake you," said Snape, seeing me on the sofa.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," I said quietly, standing up as he came to stand next to me.

"Good evening, Armilla," said Dumbledore, after he had closed the door. "I trust you're feeling more rested?"

"Yes, sir," I said, ignoring the fact that Snape seemed to be scrutinising me very closely.

"If you don't object to an old man's presence, I came to dine with you and your brother," he said, his blue eyes twinkling.

I smiled in spite of myself.

Snape led the way to the table and the Headmaster and I followed.

"Well," said Dumbledore, as we sat down. "Where to start?"

"Custody," said Snape at once.

Dumbledore nodded. "Granted. Wilhoit is expecting you at the Ministry tomorrow to make it official. You have full custody, Severus."

I looked at Snape to see a sense of relief very visible on his face. He would have no more battles with Father about me.

I was relieved too. I felt a sense of peace within me at the thought of being officially separated from Father. He was my father in blood only. Nothing more.

Dumbledore looked at me, smiling. "How do you feel, Armilla?"

"Relieved," I said honestly. I looked over at Snape to find him looking back at me with an expression of one much contented. I knew we would enjoy the sensation only briefly before we snapped back into reality and thought of the other troubles that lay ahead.

"How did you manage it?" Snape asked, as we began to eat.

"It was fortunate that Wilhoit is now a senior in the Family Services Department," said Dumbledore. He looked at me. "Alec Wilhoit is a member of the Order and has worked as a spy in the Ministry for a long time. He was in the department when we organised the custody of you last year, but he did not hold a position of influence."

I nodded my understanding. I also wanted to hear how it had been managed. Father had held a lot of influence over the Ministry. He hadn't really been gone long enough for them to notice that he was missing.

"We managed to create a case that would prove that Aurelius had no right to claim any rights to you," Dumbledore went on. "With Severus' permission, we documented every form of abuse you suffered at your father's hand. We are supposed to have proof that it was your father, and that can only be obtained through the use of Veritaserum on Aurelius, or observing memories." He held a hand up at my uncomfortable look. "Though they are not needed, Armilla. Because I had Wilhoit on the case, we were able to indicate that we had seen proof."

I nodded, feeling more at ease. I didn't like the idea of others seeing those memories.

"They don't know Father is missing yet though," I said. "I thought he had a lot of influence at the Ministry."

Dumbledore nodded. "I found that Aurelius had already informed a couple of people that he was taking an extended business trip. He didn't specify when or where to. He obviously didn't want it in the papers that he was missing. The truth of the matter is, Armilla, that if Aurelius returns, he will be captured by the Light or the Dark and neither will be in his favour. He can take this extended trip for as long as he likes, but both sides will be waiting for him. He won't have the power to battle with the Ministry over your custody or exert his influence. It will be revealed that Voldemort has returned and our Order members at the Ministry will make sure Aurelius won't regain his influence."

"So it was all handled quietly then?" said Snape. "Wilhoit handled the entire case?"

"Well, it took more than one signature," Dumbledore continued. "We needed a witness to the case, to make sure it was all being handled fairly. A nice young wizard in the department signed as witness, but he has no recollection of that now."

Snape nodded in satisfaction. "Thankyou for handling it for us."

Dumbledore shook his head. "It was necessary. I only wish we could have done it originally, but Aurelius held too much power then and I certainly wasn't in favour with the Ministry."

"I'll go tomorrow morning to finalise it," said Snape.

Dumbledore nodded. "Good. I'll let Wilhoit know to expect you in the morning."

I suddenly didn't feel well. I didn't want to be left behind at Hogwarts. I didn't want Snape to go all the way to London while I was alone at Hogwarts. What if something happened? He would be gone for at least a couple of hours.

I remained silent, trying to keep traces of anxiety from my face as Dumbledore and Snape discussed some other Ministry news that was of interest to Order members. I wasn't hungry anymore, but Snape would say something if I didn't continue to eat, so I slowly tried to eat everything on my plate.

"Are you happy to sit for a deferred History of Magic exam at nine o'clock on Monday morning, Armilla?" Dumbledore asked after he and Snape had finished their conversation.

"Yes," I said. "Thankyou."

"Only Professor Marchbanks is available to supervise the exam," he went on. "You need two people there, so the Ministry has agreed to have your Head of House also supervise the exam."

"And was Umbridge obliviated?" Snape asked.

The Headmaster nodded. "She was. I presume you have told Armilla of the story we will be using?"

Snape nodded.

"Excellent. Everything is in order then. There are only a few more Order related things to discuss with you."

We finished our meal and I excused myself, knowing that Dumbledore needed to discuss private Order business with Snape.

I returned to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I leaned against it, staring at the room in front of me. My feelings seemed to be going up and down. I was thrilled that Snape was to have full custody. I was terrified of what Snape would have to go through with the Dark Lord over his father's absence. I was unsettled at the thought of Snape going to London the next day. I was upset at the thought of Mother's spirit leaving us. I was scared that Father would find some way to repeat what he had done yesterday. Overall, though I did have little bursts of happiness every now and then, I was just miserable. I couldn't work out why I was so miserable. I should have felt happy more than anything else.

I moved into the bathroom to take another one-handed shower. It took much longer than normal and by the time I had finished, I decided to just get ready for bed. I didn't know what else to do with myself. I had spent so long studying and practising duelling with Snape all these months that I suddenly felt a sense of loss at having nothing to do.

I tried reading a book, but my mind was too preoccupied with everything that had happened. Scenes kept replaying themselves in my mind. Seeing Lucius Malfoy in the dungeons. Rougier's smirking face. Duelling with Father. Looking at Father's unconscious form. Holding on for dear life as I rode the Thestral. Seeing Snape come to get me in the forest.

It was some time before I shook myself out of my reverie and realised that my face was wet. I grabbed some tissues, turned the light out and got into bed, drying my eyes.

I stayed awake for a long time, which was probably due to a combination of sleeping in the afternoon and having too many thoughts swimming around in my head. I knew I should have been occluding, but my mind seemed too eager to concentrate on the things Dumbledore had said before.

At eight o'clock, I could still hear muffled voices out in the sitting room. Rolling over, I put my hand over my ear so that I wouldn't hear them at all. Eventually I determinedly pushed my emotions away and began to occlude so that I wouldn't have nightmares.

I drifted in and out of sleep, feeling more disgruntled every time I awoke and realised it wasn't morning. It must have been quite late when I thought I heard my bedroom door open. I was drifting in and out of sleep so I wondered if I had just heard it in my dream. I heard footsteps quietly approach and I decided that I probably wasn't dreaming that.

I felt someone adjusting the blankets around me and I blearily opened my eyes as I was kissed on the cheek. Snape was very close by, peering down at me, his face slightly strained.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he whispered, moving away.

"You didn't," I mumbled, reaching out for his hand.

He took my hand in his and sat down on the bed. "You're in bed early," he remarked.

"Had nothing to do…" I closed my eyes again.

"I see."

"What time are you going out in the morning?" I asked, wishing that I could go with him.

"Around nine," he answered. "And when I come back, you'll be officially out of Father's hands."

I smiled, opening my eyes again. "I'm all yours," I murmured.

"You are," he said, squeezing my hand. One of his fingers touched my bracelet and the warmth the contact created shot through me. I knew he would have felt the same thing.

"Go to sleep," he said quietly.

I closed my eyes again and began to occlude, pushing away my worry of being left alone the next day.

o o o o o o o o

When I awoke the next morning it was just after eight o'clock. I was rather surprised that Snape had not come in earlier to wake me, seeing as he detested sleeping in and didn't like me sleeping later than he thought necessary.

It was kind of exciting that when I went to bed that night, I would have only one guardian. It must have been such a relief for Snape too. He didn't have to worry about me spending the holidays with Father. There also wasn't as much pressure for me to learn defensive spells. All the same, I was positive that he would keep teaching me over the summer anyway.

The only crushing result was the fact that this could point towards Mother going away for good. It was only according to my theory, of course, but instinct told me that it was true.

I still wished that I could go to the Ministry with Snape. I didn't want to be left by myself, and I didn't want to go out into the school. I wasn't ready to see all those faces; I felt paranoid and a little nervous at the thought of seeing Malfoy.

Snape would not be gone that long…and I knew he was going for a positive reason…but all the same I wanted him to stay at home…

I tried to push away the nervous feeling I felt at the thought of being left alone. I got up and dressed, and then went out to the sitting room. I found Snape sitting at the table eating breakfast and reading what looked like a letter.

"Morag's hooting woke you up, did it?" he said, turning when he heard my footsteps.

"No," I murmured, slipping into my usual seat. "Not today anyway."

I picked up my spoon and looked down at my porridge, which had been spelled to stay hot, ignoring the churning feeling in my stomach. If I so badly wanted to go out with Snape that morning, all I had to do was ask.

"Severus," I said quietly, shifting slightly in my seat.

"Mm?" he said, his eyes still fixed on what he was reading.

"Can I come with you to the Ministry?"

He stopped looking at the parchment in his hand and looked over at me instead, his expression a little hard to read. "No, I would prefer you to stay here. Having both of us at the Ministry during the school year would create too much gossip. My appearance there alone could be simply put down to Hogwarts related business."

"Oh," I said, feeling crestfallen and trying not to show it.

Snape's eyes lingered on me as I returned to my porridge. "You _do_ understand my reasoning, don't you?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I hadn't thought of that."

"You're alright with it then?" he said softly.

I nodded.

"I won't be gone that long," he said. "I will be back before lunch."

Again, I just nodded. I looked back down at my breakfast and started to eat. I would have to handle being by myself. It would be fine, as long as I didn't have to leave our quarters…

He said no more, but he watched me for awhile before returning to his letter.

When I had finished, I went back to my bedroom to clean Morag's cage. I knew that she had wanted some attention lately, and I hadn't been able to give it to her because of my studying.

She hooted happily at me as I reached into her cage and stroked her feathers.

"Out you get," I said. "I need to clean your cage."

She flew out and soared around the room before settling on top of my desk.

I pointed my wand at the cage and cast a cleaning charm.

After having her cage look like new again, I moved over to Morag and started stroking her feathers again. She responded by growing slightly and turning blue. She often turned the same Ravenclaw blue when she thought I needed cheering up.

I continued to stroke Morag for a little while, trying to ignore my worry that Snape would be leaving soon. I fed Morag and was just closing the door of the cage when I heard Snape calling me.

I went back out to the sitting room and found him standing by the door wearing his black travelling cloak.

"You're going?" I asked, pushing away the sick feeling that had arisen in my stomach.

He nodded. "I've got twenty minutes before I need to leave. I will walk you up to Ravenclaw Tower so you can spend the morning there."

The thought of staying in Ravenclaw Tower while he was gone alarmed me. There were lots of people up there. I didn't know if Father had spies up there or somewhere else in the school waiting to follow me.

Snape frowned. "What's the matter?"

My feeling of alarm must have been showing on my face. "I'd rather stay here," I said quickly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I need to study," I said, pushing back the lump in my throat.

"You can study this afternoon," he said curtly.

My stomach was doing flip flops at the thought of being left in Ravenclaw Tower.

"I don't want to go there," I insisted, trying to keep my voice even.

He narrowed his eyes. "You do not wish to see your friends? Have they done something?"

I shook my head. "No, they haven't done anything."

"Well then?" he said sternly. "I am sure your friends wish to see you and it wouldn't hurt you to spend a couple of hours with the other Ravenclaws instead of being isolated down here."

"I want to stay down here," I said, trying not to sound demanding. He wouldn't react well to that. "I can see them another time."

"No," he said smoothly, his dark eyes fixed on mine. "You can see them this morning, and then you can come back here this afternoon."

I shook my head. "No."

He glared at me. "There is no place for argument, Armilla. You are going up to Ravenclaw Tower."

I shook my head again, taking a step back, though I was already on the other side of the room.

"No," I murmured. I couldn't go up there…I didn't know who was lurking about. I wasn't safe outside our quarters. There could be impostors anywhere.

Snape took a step forward. His face was calm, but I could tell he was furious. I was in trouble. "Armilla," he said in a dangerous tone, taking another step forward. "I am not accustomed to such defiance from you."

I took another step back, taking a shuddering breath. My stomach didn't feel good…

He took another step forward, glaring at me. "Why are you so against going to Ravenclaw Tower?" he asked, his voice hard.

I took two steps back. I was now a couple of steps away from the corridor. "It's not my friends," I said quietly. "I don't know who else is up there…"

Snape took another step forward and I took two steps back so that I was in the corridor.

"Don't take another step back," he snapped, sending me a withering glare. He strode purposefully towards me and I bit my lip. I could feel my hands shaking at my sides. My stomach was churning uncontrollably. The room seemed incredibly stuffy. I was going to be sick. I turned and fled before Snape had reached me.

"Armilla!" I heard him say sharply as I ran into my bedroom. "Stop!" I heard his footsteps quicken. I raced into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

I heard his footsteps in my bedroom. There was a sharp knock on the door. "Armilla! Come out here at once!" He sounded livid. I was going to be in so much trouble…

I ignored the incessant knocking on the door. I moved hurriedly to the toilet and started throwing up. If I hadn't been in so much trouble, I would have smiled at how similar this situation was to the time when Snape was furiously telling me to get out of the bathroom in the Secret Wing.

The pounding on the door stopped when I started throwing up. Snape had obviously heard it. He remained quiet as I continued to be sick and when I finally stopped I had tears pouring down my face. So much for handling the situation. _Well done, Armilla_. I was furious with myself. Why hadn't I just told him that I was scared? I was such an idiot. I always tried to act as though I could handle things and I had ended up acting like a child.

I crouched down beside the toilet and covered my face with my hands. It was all my fault; Snape had only wanted to take me to Ravenclaw Tower so I would have some company for a couple of hours and look how I had treated him! I was so disgusted and so embarrassed at the situation I was in. I had never acted so juvenile before. No wonder Snape was furious. I would have been too.

I shuddered as more tears came flooding out. It didn't help that I was now behaving like a five year old when Snape was about to leave so he could sign that he accepted full custody of me…and I still didn't want to leave…

It was a good thing that Snape had charmed the bandage on my right hand to be water repellent; it would have been soaked by now. I felt bad that I had left Snape standing on the other side of the door, but I wasn't quite ready to face my irate brother.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the door again.

"Armilla," came Snape's very calm voice. "I am going to come in."

He waited a moment, in case I protested I assumed, and then opened the door. He stood in the doorway for a moment, observing me in my crouched position by the toilet.

He came slowly into the room, but didn't stand near me.

"I presume you are finished?" he said quietly, nodding in the direction of the toilet.

My embarrassment skyrocketed as I nodded.

He took out his wand and cast a cleaning spell.

Pocketing his wand, he turned to me, his face expressionless. He moved closer and held out a hand. "Stand up," he said shortly.

I placed my trembling hand in his and stood up. He didn't let go; instead he held on tightly and led me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. We went out into the sitting room in silence and sat down on the sofa.

He regarded me for a moment, his black eyes slightly narrowed.

"I am not sure what to say to you, Armilla," he said, his voice just above a whisper.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I said, shuddering. "I didn't…I don't…" I trailed off, wiping my eyes.

He reached over and pulled me towards him. "What's the matter with you today?" he murmured in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me.

I shuddered as more tears came flowing out. "I don't want to leave here," I sobbed. "I don't want you to leave me here alone."

Snape said nothing for a moment as he took this in.

"Armilla," he said finally, his voice low. "You are safe here. I wouldn't be leaving you here if I thought you were in danger."

"Wasn't I safe before? How do I know Father hasn't got other impostors roaming the school? I escaped him once. I don't know if I could do it again." Fresh tears made themselves known and along with it came my resignation that my embarrassment and vulnerability were here to stay for the rest of the day.

"You should have said that you were frightened," he said quietly, shifting in his position so I could lean against his chest. He held onto me more tightly than before.

"I chose to be dumb instead," I murmured.

He tapped my hand. "What did I tell you yesterday about speaking of yourself that way?"

"Well it's true," I said, sniffing. "I knew I should have told you, but I didn't."

"Tell me now then," he said. "What else is going through your mind?"

"Besides the fact that I feel like a baby?"

"I assure you that if I thought you were truly behaving like a child, I would tell you," he said sternly. "What happened just now did not stem from childish tendencies. It is true that you behaved in a way that was very much unlike you, but I can not honestly say that I thought you were being childish."

I was so relieved and comforted to hear him say that.

"I am much more concerned about what had been going through your mind that made you behave that way," he said.

I took a breath. "I don't want to be left alone. I feel insecure when I'm left alone. When Terry and Lisa were here, all I could think about was you coming back. When I woke up yesterday and you weren't here, I felt sick just waiting for you to come back. I don't know why. I've been alone before. I don't like it when you're not nearby. How can you say that that's not being a baby?"

"It's not," he said simply. "After what you've been through it's quite understandable. Separation anxiety is not new to me, Armilla. I experienced it every time Mother had to go out and leave me home with Father. I assure you that I was still feeling it when I was sixteen."

"When did it stop?" I whispered.

He was silent for a moment. "It sort of faded away with time," he said slowly. "I didn't notice it until I felt strong enough to defend myself in Father's presence, and that wasn't until after I had left Hogwarts."

I felt better hearing him empathise with my situation. I supposed it helped us understand each other more.

"As for being afraid about going out into the school," he went on, "that also will disappear with time. Hogwarts has a lot of security, Armilla, but it is not invincible. Now that Dumbledore is back its security will be even higher. It was lax during Umbridge's tyrannical control. It will get easier for you to walk around the school once you start doing it. If you don't let yourself do it, then your mind will become so paranoid that Armilla as everyone knows her will cease to exist. You wouldn't want to celebrate your victory over Father by isolating yourself and hiding from reality?"

"No." The man had a point.

"I should hope not."

"It won't be easy," I murmured, wanting to stay in his arms forever. It was unfortunate that he had to leave soon.

"Of course it won't," he said. "Take it one step at a time."

I sighed. "It's many steps to Ravenclaw Tower…and you'll be gone for awhile…"

He was silent for a moment. "I am not relenting in saying this," he said. "For today, I will bring your friends down here. That way you are in an environment you feel safe in, but you will have the challenge of dealing with…my absence." He suddenly let out a soft chuckle. "I never thought I'd say something like that."

I smiled. "It's a genuine challenge though."

"Do you agree then?"

I nodded.

"Good. If you handle it well enough, then tomorrow we will have breakfast in the Great Hall, which will still be in my presence, but you will have the challenge of having students around you. How does that sound?"

"I'm uncomfortable with it," I said honestly. "But I suppose the point of this is to fix that."

"Exactly," he said.

"I'm sorry I treated you badly," I said, feeling guilty.

He rubbed my back. "It wasn't really _you_," he said dismissively. "If you had meant it you _would_ be in trouble."

We were quiet for a moment, lost in thought.

"Thankyou," I said finally.

"What for?" he said, pushing my hair out of my face.

"Understanding."

He kissed the top of my head. "I care about you too much to let you become a shrinking violet. Isolating yourself from everyone would be a disservice to those who have your respect."

I gave a watery smile as he tightened his arms around me once more.

"As for your own wellbeing," he went on, "If I let you withdraw from what your life should be, it would have disastrous consequences. I love you too much to allow you to stop being _you_."


	72. A Mission Fulfilled

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 71

We sat in silence for a moment. I was contemplating what he had just said.

There was no sarcasm in his tone, nor were there traces of the dry humour that I was so familiar with. Those words came from a man who was always so guarded when it came to expressing himself. I had known for a long time that Snape loved me, but hearing him actually say it without a trace of awkwardness in his voice cemented for me the level our relationship had reached.

When I had first found out about our relationship I had only ever thought of having a loving bond with my brother when I had been feeling particularly sarcastic and depressed. I had thought that it was time to stand on my own two feet and fend for myself. Other than depending upon Snape for financial support and some extra defensive lessons, I hadn't believed that we would ever develop a bond with each other.

But here we were... It had taken me a long time to realise that the strange feeling I felt for him was love. If I had travelled into the future at the beginning of fifth year and witnessed the scene I was currently in, I would have died of embarrassment or at least would have obtained a permanent bed at St Mungo's with Chronic Bewilderment.

It just went to show that you could never be so sure about what the future entailed. I would never have bet in a million years that the fearsome Head of Slytherin would not only turn out to be my brother, but would also become the light of my world.

"I must go," said Snape finally, letting go and standing up. I got up too and he turned to face me. "I will be back shortly with your friends. In the meantime I suggest you think about what you will tell them about our new arrangement."

"What am I allowed to tell them?" I asked.

He frowned slightly as he looked at me. I knew he would have preferred for me to tell my friends nothing about my family, but it would be strange to tell them that I was suddenly solely in Snape's custody without providing an explanation. "How much do they know about Father?"

"Nothing in detail," I answered. My friends knew that my father was not the nicest man, but I had refrained from going into specifics. They knew that he could be abusive and they knew all about Rougier, but I hadn't told them a lot of private family stuff.

"Keep it that way," he said, nodding. "The Headmaster and I spoke about the situation and we think it is best for now that a limited number of people know what transpired after Father took you. Custody of you is being granted to me on the grounds that Father was abusive and unsuitable in the role of guardian. That is the story that you will give your friends. It is truthful, just not detailed."

"They'll know that my disappearance had something to do with it," I pointed out. "But I suppose it is wise to keep them in the dark." It certainly was. It shouldn't get out that I had won a duel against Aurelius Snape. My friends wouldn't tell on purpose, but there was all kinds of Dark Magic around that could make people talk. We were living in dangerous times.

"I am glad you agree," he said, walking to the door. He turned around, his hand on the doorknob. "Are you sure you will be alright while I am gone?" His dark eyes met mine with such intensity that I couldn't look away.

I nodded. "I think so." That was honest enough. My worry hadn't vanished in a matter of minutes. I was still a little preoccupied with the thought of impostors roaming the castle.

"I daresay your friends will keep you occupied," he said, a slight sneer visible on his face. "I am sure they will be _thrilled_ to be told to come down here again." The sarcasm in his tone brought a smile to my face.

"They _were_ very out of place down here," I admitted. Though Snape had made it clear often enough before that these rooms were just as much mine as they were his, I felt a little bad that my friends had been in our quarters. Snape liked his privacy; having other Ravenclaw students visit would certainly not be his cup of tea, whether he was there or not.

"Thankyou for letting them come down here," I said. "I know they're intruding on your space…but…-"

Snape held up a hand to stop me. "I won't even be here, Armilla. If having them come to you can help you then my space is not an issue. I am sure your friends won't wreak havoc down here." He smirked. "Perhaps I should lay down some ground rules to them on the way down here."

Before I could answer, he had opened the door and was gone. I felt a little bit of sympathy for my friends. I was sure the last thing they would want on a stress free Saturday morning was their Potions Master swooping down on them and demanding their immediate presence in the dungeons. I knew that Snape wouldn't put it to them in the form of a friendly invitation.

I left the sitting room and headed towards the bathroom so I could wash my face. Terry and Lisa would ask questions if they thought I had been crying. I seldom cried in front of them.

"I've seen you look better, dear," said the mirror, as I turned the tap on.

I ignored it and offered no conversation.

While I was waiting for my brother to return with my friends, I set about tidying my bedroom. It was pretty neat anyway, but I just put stray quills and bits of parchment away out of a want for something to do. When I had straightened my bedspread three times I decided I was becoming neurotic and so I went out to the sitting room with my study notes to wait.

I wasn't kept waiting long. The average person would have taken longer to go all the way up to Ravenclaw Tower and back from the dungeons, but Snape always walked quickly.

I looked up from my study notes as the door opened. Snape came in, looking perfectly at ease, while my friends came in quietly behind him, looks of trepidation on their faces.

I suddenly realised that my friends would want to know why they had to come down to the dungeons again. They would want me to go back up to Ravenclaw Tower with them.

"I have explained to Miss Turpin and Mr Boot, Armilla," said my brother, gesturing for Lisa to move out of the way so he could close the door, "that you are still recovering from the other night and that I have no wish for you to be roaming about the castle today."

I nodded, feeling a little relieved that Snape had solved my problem for me. I looked from Snape to my friends. Lisa was a little red, and Terry had a slightly bemused expression on his face.

"I have also told them that there is something you would like to tell them," Snape went on, sounding very much like he was conducting a business meeting. "However," he said, his voice hard, "I have made it _very_ clear that they are not to use this opportunity to seek details or pry into our business." He paused to give each of my friends a warning look. It was the kind of look that would generally have a first year running in the opposite direction. Lisa and Terry took it well; they looked back at their teacher, their faces determinedly casual.

Snape looked back at me again. "I must go. I won't stay away long." He gave me a penetrating look. "Contact me if you need me."

He sounded just like any parent going out and leaving a child home alone, but I knew that the last comment was in reference to my chocolate frog card. He meant for me to contact him if I started to feel anxious.

I nodded. "Alright," I said quietly, trying to push away the gnawing feeling inside. I didn't want him to go.

Snape had a slightly dubious expression on his face as he looked back at me, but he wasn't about to say anything in front of my friends.

"I mean it," he said quietly, not breaking his gaze with me. I hoped that I wouldn't have to contact him while he was gone; I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

"I know," I said.

He finally broke eye contact. He turned his attention to my friends. "Remember my instructions," he said curtly as he opened the door.

"Yes sir," they said in unison.

He closed the door with a snap behind him and I tried not to smile as Terry and Lisa breathed out sighs of relief. Though I was trying not to smile, I couldn't ignore the pang I felt in my heart when Snape left.

Lisa brought her hands up to her face as she joined me on the sofa. Terry sat down in an armchair for a split second before jumping back up again.

"This isn't Snape's chair, is it?"

"They're all his," I said vaguely, watching as Lisa put her hands down and leaned back into the sofa, wearing a nervous grin.

"No, I mean is this the chair he uses all the time?" Terry pressed, looking anxious. "If it is, I don't want to be sitting here when he returns. I don't want detention for sitting in his favourite spot."

"He wouldn't give you detention," I said, not hiding my smile now. I was so used to Snape, but this was a terrifying experience for my friends. "And no, that isn't his chair. We don't really have favourite spots."

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Come to think of it," I said, staring at Lisa. "When we're both sitting on the sofa, I generally sit to Severus' right, so you're sitting in his spot."

Terry gestured to Lisa. "Get up."

Lisa folded her arms. "I'm perfectly fine here, thankyou."

"It doesn't matter, Terry," I insisted. "I've never been told to move because I've been in his spot."

Terry looked sceptical. "I probably sound paranoid," he said finally, as he flopped down into the armchair again.

"I don't blame you," I said honestly. "He does his best to intimidate you."

"You can say that again," said Lisa. "We had just left Ravenclaw Tower when we saw Snape striding towards us. He told us that our presence was required in the dungeons for the morning and we were left with no choice but to follow him."

"I swear all the passing students thought we were in trouble," Terry grumbled.

"He then proceeded to lay down the law in regards to prying into your business, Mill," Lisa continued. "Though he disguised parts of his one-sided conversation so passing students would think he was he was talking of something school-related."

"I'm sorry for what you two have to go through when you see him," I said quietly, thinking of where Snape would be at that moment. Still somewhere in the Hogwarts grounds? Near a point where he could Apparate? I still wished that I could have gone with him.

They both shrugged. "It comes with being your friend," said Lisa dismissively, "and you know that we wouldn't give up your friendship for anything."

I smiled. "Well, I know he's very private, but he doesn't really think that you'd do your best to pry into our business."

"Ha! Don't be so sure," Terry muttered. "I'm not sure he trusts many people."

We were all silent for a moment.

"So did you end up going back to bed yesterday?" I asked, remembering that my friends had also been up all that night.

"Yeah," Terry answered. "We were so relieved that you were alright, but when the worry had disappeared exhaustion came instead. I slept the morning away."

"So did I," said Lisa, nodding. "We didn't want to come barging down here to see you, so we spent the afternoon in Ravenclaw Tower. What did you do yesterday?"

"I slept a lot," I admitted. "I helped Snape in the lab, and I saw Dumbledore."

"I'm so glad he's back," said Terry. "I don't care how eccentric he is, his abilities as Headmaster by far surpass those of Umbridge."

I nodded in agreement.

"So you were paid a visit by Dumbledore then?" he asked.

I shrugged. "He comes to discuss things with Snape, so he'll talk to me too sometimes."

"Is this leading to what you have to tell us?" Lisa asked.

I nodded.

"Is it a good thing or a bad thing?" she pressed.

"It's most definitely a good thing."

"You haven't found out about another long lost relative, have you?" said Terry, grinning. "A reunion of Snapes?"

"No," I laughed. "No more Snapes."

"What then?" asked Lisa, leaning forward.

"I'm not going to see my father this summer," I said.

Their eyes widened.

"Oh, Mill, that's wonderful"' Lisa exclaimed.

"How did Snape manage to pull that off?" Terry asked, looking incredulous. "I thought your father had a lot of power."

"He did," I said nodding. "But not so much now. I can't go into that though."

"We know," said Lisa at once. "Just tell us what you are able to without getting you or us into trouble. So will you have to make up the time to your father?"

"No," I said simply. "Severus is getting full custody. I won't be seeing Father anymore."

"On what grounds?" asked Terry, his eyes wide. He suddenly shook his head. "No, forget I said that. I shouldn't be asking such questions."

"Well, it's obvious it's got something to do with your disappearance," said Lisa quietly. "And we knew before that he was abusive towards you. We know you don't want our pity, so we won't pry."

"We'll just accept the news and show our joy that your git of a father won't have any more time with you," said Terry. "You must be so thrilled, Milly."

I nodded. "You have no idea how happy and relieved I am not to be going to Snape Manor this summer. More than anything else I'm thrilled that from now on it's just Severus and me. We won't have to consult Father about anything. No writing to him. No putting up with his ridiculous letters."

"I imagine that Snape is also happy then," said Lisa.

I nodded. "I think he was even more relieved than me," I said softly.

"You know, I think finding out he had a sister was probably one of the best things that ever happened to Snape," said Terry, leaning back in the armchair. "I mean, before he was just a greasy git…well he _still_ is a git to _us_, but you've no doubt made a huge impact on his life, Milly."

I nodded vaguely, thinking about all my memories of Snape before I had known he was my brother. I had thought he was a git too. "I have," I said finally. I was silent for a moment, thinking about something else. "I should also tell you that this new arrangement will mean the end of my mother."

They both looked uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Mill," Lisa whispered. "I know she's a spirit, but you did get to know her well enough that it would have seemed like…"

"She was really there," Terry finished. "It's hard to explain I suppose."

"Yeah," I said softly. "But that was the condition on which her spirit entered the ring. She would remain there until she was satisfied with who was taking care of me. It was Severus alone who she wanted and so she now has to go. She's been fading for awhile." I bit my lip. "Actually, I don't even know if we'll be able to activate the ring when we go to see her later on."

"It'll be hard, no doubt," said Terry. "But it was fortunate that you got to know her at all."

"That's what Severus says," I said.

"Losing your mother's spirit will be a big loss," said Lisa slowly, "and of course she can't be replaced, but think about how much you're gaining."

I nodded. "What I've wanted for a long time; Severus having full custody."

"Exactly," she said. "That doesn't mean losing your mum will be easy, but surely the knowledge that you won't be seeing your father would make it easier."

"I suppose so," I said. "I'm lucky to have known her at all. And I'm grateful that I'll be able to stay with Severus all summer."

"What are you going to do all summer with him then?" Lisa asked, looking anxious. "I mean, would he have plenty of stuff that keeps him occupied all summer? Won't you be bored?"

I shrugged. "We haven't discussed what we'll do this summer. Just knowing that it won't involve an extended visit to Father's house is enough."

"Does this mean we don't have to be polite to Draco Malfoy anymore?" asked Terry, his eyes shining.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to go out of my way to speak with him. It will be like before; be polite when I do see him and just think evil thoughts rather than say them."

"But your father won't be monitoring what you're saying to him now," he complained, looking annoyed.

"No, but it won't go down well for me to be rude to the Slytherins when my brother is their Head of House," I pointed out.

"Fine," he huffed, folding his arms and looking quite put out. "I can put up with the little smirks on that pointed face, but when he implies that the upholstery in Ravenclaw doesn't match Slytherin standards…" He broke off, glaring at the floor.

"Slytherin could have the finest interior decorating of all the Houses and I still would not want to join it," said Lisa matter-of-factly.

"I'm glad Severus isn't here to hear you say that," I said, smiling. "He'd throw you out for such a comment." I wished he was nearby. I was comfortable enough having my friends close, but I knew I would be more comfortable if my brother was close by.

Terry grinned. "Is there any House rivalry between the two of you?"

"Sometimes," I replied.

"And who generally wins?" he asked.

"We both like to think we do."

A loud hoot brought an end to the subject.

Terry looked around. "Can I see your owl, Milly?"

"Sure," I said, standing up. "Come on."

They stood up and followed me into my bedroom.

"Well," said Terry, staring around my pale blue room. "I can't see any bottled slugs in here or black walls."

I lightly punched him in the arm before moving over to Morag.

"Terry and I used to wonder what your bedroom would look like," Lisa explained. "In the beginning, of course, when we weren't so sure about Snape."

"You're sure now, are you?" I asked wryly, as Morag, in her normal white form, hopped onto my outstretched arm, hooting happily.

"Of course," she said. "We've been pretty sure for awhile, but there was something about the other night…when we saw the two of you in the Entrance Hall…"

I looked away and met Morag's gaze instead. I had been holding Snape's hand when my friends had appeared at the top of the stairs.

"We could tell that it's more than just obligation, that's all," said Terry quietly, looking closely at Morag. "No matter who he is to the other students, Snape is someone entirely different to you."

I looked back at him and gave a small nod. "He is."

I didn't want to go into the degree of Snape's affection towards me with my friends. It was enough that they believed him to be affectionate, but I wanted to keep the sort of relationship we had to myself, and I knew that Snape would appreciate that.

"Morag doesn't look any different from normal owls," said Terry, squinting down at her. "She's certainly small, Mill."

Morag let out an indignant hoot and immediately grew twice her size.

"Whoa!" Terry exclaimed, stepping back.

Morag let out another hoot and turned black.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," said Terry, grinning at her. "I wasn't judging you or anything. After all, Armilla is small. Ow!"

"I don't regret that," I said, as Terry rubbed the spot on his arm where I had hit him with my good hand.

"How is your arm, Mill?" Lisa asked, sitting down on my bed as Morag fluttered onto Terry's arm. She was looking at him with curiosity, hooting softly.

"Better," I said. "Hopefully I can take the bandages off tomorrow. It's irritating."

"How are _you_?" she asked, looking serious.

"Fine," I said simply.

"Come on, Mill," she said, looking impatient, "I know we can't know what went on the other night, but you _were _in a pretty bad way when we saw you. It must have affected you."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I'll get over it."

Lisa pursed her lips.

"Look," I said, sitting down next to her. "I'm fine, okay? There's nothing wrong."

"Well Snape seemed pretty ardent in his instructions to contact him if you needed him," she said.

"Don't your parents say that to you when they go out?" I asked, looking casually back at her. I didn't want to talk to my friends about my separation anxiety. Maybe I was too proud.

"Yeah," she admitted, looking a little flustered. "But you know what I mean, Mill, don't you? I think Snape looked worried."

"Just drop it, Lis," said Terry, stroking Morag's feathers, which were now lime green. "If Armilla says she's alright then leave it at that."

Lisa looked put out at that and I felt terrible.

"Lisa," I said softly. "I can't go into exactly how I'm feeling without getting into what happened. But…" I sighed, "if I'm not fine now then I will be in a few days. You know that I would ask you if I needed help."

Slowly, Lisa nodded and a smile crept back onto her face. "Yeah, I know," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I'm just worried, that's all. You've just had so much stuff happen to you in the past year. I don't want you to crack."

"She won't crack," said Terry firmly. "She's a Snape."

o o o o o o o o o

Though my mind did linger on my brother's absence a fair bit, it was nothing to what it had been the day before. The chatter of my friends saw that I didn't have a lot of time to spend worrying about being left alone.

It was now just before midday and my friends and I were sitting out in the sitting room again, as Morag had had enough excitement and had chosen to take a nap. We could hear her snoring out in the sitting room. Terry especially had found it hilarious that Morag was able to snore. Snape had always put it down to a simple noise that Morag made to irritate him.

"Do you think Snape will let you visit us in the holidays?" Terry asked, stifling a yawn.

I shrugged. "I really don't know. We saw Matilda at Easter time and Snape said then that I would be able to see her."

"He might not let you come to see us," said Lisa thoughtfully. "I can't imagine him letting you outside the house without his supervision."

"Yeah, well I couldn't imagine Snape letting us near _his_ home during the holidays either," said Terry.

"I don't know," I said, thinking about Snape's position as a spy. "If I'm not allowed to see you two over the holidays there will be a legitimate reason for it. It won't be because he doesn't want students in his home."

"Well, we can write to each other anyway," said Lisa. "I'm going to visit my brother in New Zealand for a week or two, so I'll send tidings from the other side of the world."

"Lucky thing," Terry muttered. "I've got to help Gran sort through her attic in the first week…Hey!" he said suddenly, turning to me. "You won't be coming home on the Hogwarts Express from now on, will you?"

"I guess not," I said. "I don't think teachers even leave Hogwarts the same day as the students. I'll probably be here a day or two after the rest of you have gone."

"You could go exploring," said Terry, as the door opened.

"Certainly _not_," came my brother's curt voice. "Armilla knows how I feel about her unsupervised expeditions."

I gave Snape a small smile as he closed the door behind him. I knew we were both thinking of the voyages I had undertaken in the Secret Wing without his permission. I didn't regret the treasure I had found.

I felt relieved to see him. I had handled his absence well enough in my opinion, but the sight of him brought about a stronger sense of relief than I cared to admit.

"I do hope you're not encouraging rule-breaking, Mr Boot," said Snape smoothly, looking at Terry through narrowed eyes.

"Of course not, sir," said Terry, going red.

The silence that followed was quickly filled by a rather loud snore from my bedroom.

Snape rolled his eyes.

"I daresay you filled Mr Boot and Miss Turpin in?" he asked, addressing himself to me now.

"Yes," I answered.

"Very well." He looked at my friends. "I thank you for coming down here at such short notice. I believe Armilla might have breakfast with you in the Great Hall tomorrow." He looked back at me. "Am I correct?"

"I think so," I said quietly. I still didn't feel good about the idea of leaving our quarters.

He nodded. "Well then," he said, looking at Lisa and Terry. "The two of you may leave."

"Thanks for coming down here," I said, getting up with them.

"No problem," said Terry.

"We'll see you tomorrow," said Lisa, as Snape opened the door.

I nodded. "Bye."

After he had closed the door behind them, Snape turned to face me, his dark eyes fixed on mine. "Well?" he said. "How was it?"

"Alright," I said. "Not perfect…but-"

"I wouldn't have expected everything to be perfect," he said, moving closer to me. "Not straightaway. Your friends kept you occupied I trust?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I just kept trying to ignore it every time I felt…" I didn't want to say _nervous_ or _anxious_; it made me feel fragile.

"I know," he said, taking off his travelling cloak. "But I assure you that it will get easier."

I said nothing. He was right, of course, but at the moment I still wanted to stay home alone with him.

Snape reached for my hand and pulled me into his arms. He was hardly ever affectionate more than once a day; maybe I _was_ fragile at the moment.

"There were no problems at the Ministry," he murmured. "You were officially declared my responsibility this morning."

I smiled. "No more Father," I said softly. I could scarcely believe that I wouldn't have to see him during the summer.

"No more Father."

"And no more governesses," I muttered.

He let out a dry sound of amusement. "You're sure? I could always arrange one for you."

I shook my head. "You wouldn't be so mean."

"Ah, perhaps not," he said, looking over to the table where our lunch had just magically appeared. "I don't think a governess would suffice as the _female influence_ your mother is determined for you to have." He released me. "Come."

I followed him over to the table. "I don't need female influence at home."

"Good," he said curtly, sitting down at the table, "because I have no intentions of providing it."

"What do you normally do during the summer?" I asked, also sitting down.

"I stay at Hogwarts for a few days to tie up any loose ends, record what stock is needed for the following year, attend staff development meetings and general packing up for the end of the school year." He picked up my plate and started spooning stew onto it from the steaming pot in the middle of the table.

"That is not your time to explore the castle though," he said severely, giving me a stern look as he placed my plate in front of me and picked up his own, "despite what Mr Boot recommends."

"I wouldn't go exploring," I said. "I only went exploring before because I wanted to find the puddle."

He sneered. "Ah yes, the infamous puddle, the cause of much disobedience on your part."

"No regrets," I said casually.

His sneer faded slightly as he met my gaze. "No, I suppose not," he agreed.

We ate in silence for a minute before Snape brought another subject to my attention.

"The Headmaster has arranged for us to visit Mother at one-thirty this afternoon," he said, his voice giving no hint of emotion. "Would you prefer to walk up to the Headmaster's office through the school or go through the Secret Wing?"

I thought the question seemed more like a test. If I said that I would rather go through the Secret Wing to Dumbledore's office then that would show my reluctance to walk through the school. If I did choose to walk through the school though, Snape would be with me anyway. I knew I would have greater amount of self respect for myself if I chose the path I didn't fancy so much.

"Did you hear my question?" Snape asked, sparing me a curious look before pouring himself water.

"Yes," I answered. "I was thinking." I paused, wishing that we could just go through the Secret Wing. "We'll go through the school."

His eyes narrowed slightly as he considered me. "You are certain about that? I do not want to push you too much."

I nodded. "I'm sure. I want to go through the Secret Wing, but I know I _should_ go through the school...so we'll go through the school."

He stared at me for a moment, his face unfathomable. Finally he nodded. "Alright then," he said. "It is your decision."

"How will we even know if we can activate the ring?" I asked, my anxious thoughts about going through the school turning to anxious thoughts about my mother. "I mean, we've had so much trouble recently with it. Now that Father no longer has custody, do you think the ring will even work?"

Snape didn't answer at first. He seemed more intent on studying the contents on his plate. "I don't know," he said finally, looking up at me. "I cannot be certain that we will be able to activate the ring…she might already be gone."

His words confirmed the worried thoughts I'd been having. Snape seemed just as troubled by it at the moment; though she was already dead, losing Mother's spirit was going to be like losing her for the second time for my brother.

o o o o o o o o o o

The time to go to Dumbledore's office came by very quickly. Snape and I were both silent as we walked through the dungeon corridors. He hadn't asked me again if I wished to go through the Secret Wing. I wasn't sure if I would have given a different answer. Walking through the dungeons was making me feel anxious, even though I was walking right next to my brother. In fact, as soon as I had stepped out of our sitting room and into the corridor, my nerves had sprung up. I had tried to suppress my queasy feeling as well as I could, but the cold and eerie atmosphere of the dungeon corridors had done nothing to help me.

I was walking a lot closer to Snape's side than I usually did. As he rarely missed a thing, I was sure he had noticed. He said nothing about it; he merely strode along as he usually did through the school, a stern expression on his face and his black robes billowing out behind him.

When we came to the point where I had met my father in the form of Lucius Malfoy only two days before, I stopped suddenly. I didn't know why; I just instinctively stopped, staring at the place where we had disappeared. Realising that stopping because of such a memory was a silly thing to do, I started to walk again, only to feel a hand closing over my wrist.

Before I had time to register what had happened, I let out a sharp gasp, closing my eyes as terror spread through me. I was not going to let it happen again. I wasn't going to go through it again. My mental shield instinctively came up and a moment later I heard another sharp gasp and the hand around my wrist abruptly let go.

"Armilla, what-" I heard my brother voice in the distance.

I opened my eyes to see that he was actually standing right next to me. My hands were shaking and I felt shame spreading through me, replacing the terror as I looked back at my brother.

Snape was looking at a small graze on his hand, obviously the hand that had closed around my wrist.

"Did I do that?" I whispered, staring at his hand.

He took out his wand and muttered a few spells, sound proofing the area and keeping people away.

"Yes," he answered, now pointing his wand at his hand. He muttered a charm to heal the skin.

"I'm sorry," I said, as he put his wand away.

"Don't be," he said shortly. "I believe I am at fault here. I assume this is right where Father took you on Thursday afternoon?"

I nodded.

He nodded too. "I thought this must have been the place," he said quietly. "Otherwise you wouldn't have stopped. I wanted to ask you about it, but now I realise that taking your arm was not the way to go about it." He looked at me closely. "Did you start to relive it?"

"Sort of," I answered, clenching my shaking hands into fists in an effort to calm them. "I'm not sure what happened. Instinct took over before my mind had time to register what had happened."

Snape smirked slightly. "Then I am proud of your instinct. Accidental or not, your instinct managed to cause shock to who you thought was an enemy. Did your mental shield come up?"

Again I nodded.

He gave a small smile. "Well your nerves might be questionable at the moment, but your reflexes aren't failing you."

"You don't think I overreacted then?"

"No," he said. "It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't suddenly taken hold of your wrist."

I smiled, though I felt a little guilty. "I hope I didn't hurt you too badly."

He sighed as he showed me his completely healed hand. "Healed," he said, "but the shock may last for hours." He gave me a mocking smile. "You may have to make my tea and wait on me hand and foot for the rest of the day."

I laughed. Finding the humour in the situation certainly helped relieve my nerves and the guilt I felt.

"Are you still certain that you want to take this path to the Headmaster's office?" he asked, now looking serious again.

I nodded. "Quite certain."

"Very well. Come." He took out his wand and took down the warding spells, and then we began to walk. I didn't give the area we had just left a backwards glance.

We met no one in the dungeons. I assumed that most people were still celebrating the end of exams in their common rooms, eating in the Great Hall, or basking in the sun outside.

When we reached the Entrance Hall, I saw many groups of students walking in all directions, laughing as they chattered and made plans for the afternoon. I could hear one group planning to go outside and play games by the lake.

I hadn't realised that I had moved closer to Snape again upon seeing so many people. Any of these people could be impostors with portkeys in their hands. I felt my heart start to beat faster.

"Use your shield," said Snape quietly, glancing briefly at me before casting a few students a cold look. A few of them had stopped to look at us as we had emerged from the dungeon stairs. Though the whole school had found out about our relationship months and months ago, actually seeing us together still gained a high level of interest from other students. The looks I received were still a combination of pity and fear. I didn't need pitying looks; the relationship I had with my brother didn't make me worthy of receiving them. But the other students didn't know, and I couldn't care less. Besides, I was sure Snape enjoyed the fear he instilled in his students.

I walked with my brother up the marble staircase, ignoring the eyes that followed us. We didn't meet a great number of students as we walked in silence to Dumbledore's office. The ones we did see quickly diverted their eyes when they saw Snape, though a couple of Slytherins that passed did nod at their Head of House out of respect, and a few Ravenclaws smiled at me.

As we turned into the corridor that had the entrance to Dumbledore's office, we came face to face with Malfoy, for once not flanked by Crabbe and Goyle.

Malfoy's whole demeanour seemed entirely different to the last time I had seen him. His haughty expression was not there, nor was the arrogant smile.

"Professor," he said in greeting, nodding at Snape. He didn't spare me a glance. I wasn't sure whether it was out of plain rudeness or a slighted ego. Having his father in Azkaban as well as having marriage plans shattered wouldn't be doing him any good.

"Mr. Malfoy," said Snape curtly, nodding as well. "Everything alright?"

I supposed that was the Slytherin way of asking how someone was. I didn't think Malfoy would appreciate a "How are you?" I knew him well enough to know that he would feel patronised.

"Yes sir," he said evenly, his face passive.

Snape's eyes narrowed as he regarded his student. "I don't believe you."

Malfoy opened his mouth and then abruptly closed it again.

"I have known you for a very long time Draco," said Snape coldly. "Do not presume to think that you can lie to me. Give me a satisfactory answer to my question."

Malfoy sighed, looking at the floor. "Not the best," he muttered.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Do not let your family name down, Mr Malfoy," he said curtly. "Answer me with respect."

Malfoy looked up, a brief look of pain flashing across his face. "Not the best, sir," he said clearly. "But I'll manage…as long as I don't run into _Potter_ anytime soon." He practically spat the name.

"You will have to manage," said Snape, looking at him through narrowed eyes. "Now is not the time for a childish revengeful attitude, Draco. See that you remember that."

Snape started to walk away and I moved to follow.

"How did you hurt your arm, Armilla?" Malfoy asked, his tone cool as his eyes rested on my bandaged hand and arm.

"I broke it," I said shortly. I opened my mouth to add that he didn't need to know how I had broken it because it wasn't his business. However, obviously sensing my hostile attitude, Snape overrode me.

"It's strange, Draco," he said conversationally. "She broke it in the same circumstances as when you broke yours when you were five."

Malfoy smirked as he looked back at me. "You fell down the stairs?"

I felt my face flush as I glanced over at my brother. He looked back at me indifferently.

"Not all of them," I answered, looking back at Malfoy, giving him a look that dared him to laugh at me.

"Perhaps you should look where you're going next time," he said smugly.

"You think?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Thanks for the advice; I'll take it into consideration." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape's lips twitching.

"Come, Armilla," he said. He nodded to Malfoy. "See that you stay out of trouble, Draco."

Malfoy nodded and turned to walk in the direction in which Snape and I had come.

My brother and I walked the rest of the way to Dumbledore's office in silence.

"Fairyfloss," said Snape sourly, sneering at the stone gargoyle. It sprang to life and the entrance was revealed. Snape and I stepped onto the stairs.

"Fell down the stairs?" I said angrily to Snape.

"We needed a simple excuse," he responded, seeming unconcerned by my anger.

"One that made me look like an idiot?" I said, fuming.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked back at me. "That was not my intention, Armilla. If that is how you interpreted the excuse I gave, I most sincerely apologise. However, I hope you will consider the long-term effects of this excuse and appreciate the fact that we needed a quick alibi to satisfy Malfoy's curiosity. Comparing it to something he had done was an effective means by which to distract him." His tone was hard by the time he had finished speaking.

I looked away. He was right, but I had still felt like an idiot.

"Besides," he went on, a trace of anger now in his voice. "I did _not_ appreciate your attitude towards Malfoy. I do hope it will not happen again."

I looked back up at him and was met with a stern expression that matched his tone.

"It won't," I said quietly, feeling dreadful that I had disappointed him. "I'm sorry."

He nodded and we were silent until we were in Dumbledore's office.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk when we entered. A soft trill was coming from his phoenix, which was resting on a perch near the desk.

"Ah, Severus, Armilla," said Dumbledore, smiling as he stood up. "I won't stay in your way, but before I leave, I do want to offer my heartfelt congratulations. Without Aurelius, you are now a proper family brought together by love instead of circumstances."

Snape shifted slightly, obviously not comfortable by such talk of family and love. I knew things hadn't really changed in that regard. He would now admit his feelings to me, but such talk to others was out of the question.

Dumbledore smiled at Snape. "I won't stay to make you more on edge, Severus," he said brightly. "I know such talk of love makes you itch to curse me."

"Certainly not, Headmaster," said Snape indifferently, folding his arms.

Dumbledore merely smiled again. "Well, I am due to meet with Hagrid, so you must excuse me. The ring is where you left it." He became grave at the mention of the ring. Obviously Snape had informed him of what had been happening with it lately. "Take your time," he said quietly, looking at each of us in turn.

We both nodded and watched as Dumbledore left the office.

"Come," said Snape, sweeping over to the table upon which the ring rested. We both sat down. I felt trepidation coming over me already. I had a feeling that we wouldn't be able to activate it.

He placed his hand on it. Sure enough, my feeling was confirmed. Nothing happened. The ring glowed as it usually did, but the misty, swirling substance in the ring gave no indication that anything had been disturbed.

It took five attempts before the substance reacted. Even then, it was only a slight reaction and still Mother's face did not appear.

"We're wasting our time," I said dejectedly, after the twelfth attempt. "She's not there."

He didn't answer. He just kept trying, a grim expression on his face. On the sixteenth attempt, the puddle-like substance moved more than it had before, but by the twentieth attempt, Mother's face still hadn't appeared.

"Well, we did consider it a possibility that she wouldn't be there," said Snape quietly, leaning back from the ring. "Though the fact that every now and then we do get a reaction tells me that her spirit should still be there. It's just a lot weaker."

"Maybe she knows we're here but can't communicate with us," I said, studying the ring.

"Perhaps." He leaned forward and tried again. As expected, nothing happened.

"Your magic might help," he suggested, looking back at me.

I shook my head. "My magic hasn't worked on it in a long time. Yours is stronger."

"No, I meant that we'll try and activate it at the same time," he said.

"Oh." I reached forward and we both touched the ring. The substance started to swirl more than before and the faintest glimpse of Mother's face came into view before fading again.

"Let's try again," Snape murmured, his face resolute. We touched it again and Mother's face came into view, a fair bit clearer than before.

"Oh," she said. "There you are." After that she disappeared.

I didn't need to be told what to do. We both reached out and touched it again. "Please try," I murmured to Mother, unsure if she could even hear me.

Her face appeared once more and I noticed that her brown hair was flapping behind her, as if a strong wind was pushing her back.

"Can you feel some sort of force, Mother?" Snape asked, looking quite disturbed at our windswept Mother.

Mother spoke quite loudly, as if she was trying to speak over the strong wind, which Snape and I couldn't hear.

"I'm trying to hold on, Severus," she called, "but I'm being pushed back. I can't hold on for much longer." Her face disappeared again.

Snape and I immediately reached forward again to activate it. This wasn't how we wanted to say goodbye. Just a couple of seconds at a time while my mother was being forced back wasn't fair.

Mother's face only appeared for a couple of seconds before disappearing. We kept trying until her face appeared and became clearer.

"Mother," said Snape, speaking louder than usual himself. "Your spirit is trying to leave the ring. It is satisfied with Armilla's current safety."

"What about Aurelius?" Mother called, looking from me to my brother.

"He's in hiding somewhere," he answered. "The ministry deemed him abusive and I have become the sole guardian of Armilla."

"Oh Severus!" said Mother, tears gleaming in her blue eyes. "I am so happy!" Her face abruptly disappeared again.

"No," I said under my breath as Snape and I reached forward once more. After another three attempts, Mother's face cam back into view.

"I cannot hold on much longer," she panted, looking tired. "I am being forced back."

I had known that this moment would come, but preparing myself for it hadn't made it any easier. I bit my lip and I watched Mother's face go from being tired to determined and back to tired again. Clearly, her spirit was trying to hold on for a little longer.

"Look after your sister, Severus," she yelled above the wind. "And look after yourself...and do consider getting married."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Mother, do be serious."

"I _am_ being serious!" she called. "Armilla, I am so happy that Severus has become your guardian, just as I wished. Whether he admits it or not, your brother needs taking care of. Make sure that you do that for me."

Snape scoffed as I smiled.

"Armilla," she said again. "I'm sorry that I was the cause of you losing your identity for so many years. But I hope that having found it brings you more joy than regrets."

"It does," I said sincerely.

Her face disappeared and we took another four attempts to bring her back.

"More joy than you imagined?" she asked, her voice fading slightly.

"Yes," I said, biting my lip as Mother's face came in and out of view.

"More joy than we both imagined, I believe," said Snape, staring down at Mother.

Mother beamed up at him. "Oh Severus, I couldn't tell you how happy I am to hear to say that." Her face went blank for a moment. "Oh…" she said, suddenly sounding like she was far away, "I can't hold on."

My heart was beating frantically at this stage. It was painful to actually watch this. Mother appeared to be holding on with all her might, a pained expression on her face. The glow on the ring itself had started to flash.

I looked over to Snape to see that he also looked troubled. He must have felt just as I did, if not worse. After all, he was losing her for the second time. We were watching our Mother struggle in vain to stay with us, and we were powerless to save her. But this was how it was intended, as Snape had reminded me many times. Mother's spirit had entered the ring on the condition that it would be released once she was satisfied with my wellbeing and guardian. This was how it was meant to be.

I let out a shaky breath. That didn't mean that it would be easy to witness.

Mother's pained face disappeared and Snape and I reached forward again, quite out of habit now. Ten attempts later, her face came back, but not as clearly as before.

"I…have…to let…go," she panted, looking absolutely exhausted. "Severus…Armilla…I love you."

Before either of us could respond, it seemed that she literally let go, for her face became smaller and smaller, as if she was falling away from us.

"I am flying," she called, closing her eyes, as the strong wind blew her away. Her voice became fainter. "I can see…"

But what she saw, we never found out. A moment later, her face disappeared, along with the substance. The glowing around the ring suddenly became so bright that Snape and I had to cover our eyes as it lit up the office.

It stayed that way for about thirty seconds. We just sat with our hands over our faces as the extraordinary white light lit up every corner of the room.

It came as quite a shock when it suddenly disappeared. We took our hands from our faces and blinked. Though there was light from the afternoon sun, the room seemed quite dark in comparison.

We both looked over at the ring. It no longer glowed and there was no puddle-like substance swirling around in the middle. Instinctively, we both reached out to touch it. It was a lot colder than it normally felt. Nothing happened. Neither of us had to say it.

She was gone.


	73. A Blessing in Disguise

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or storyline created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Armilla Snape is my own original character.

Chapter 72

Neither of us spoke as we made our way back to the dungeons about fifteen minutes later. We hadn't said much at all in the moments after Mother's spirit left the ring. We had left the ring in Dumbledore's office. Snape would collect it later and then I supposed that it would be returned to the Merrigan vault at Gringotts.

Though both of us had known it was coming, witnessing such a thing did not make it any less disturbing. I wasn't sure exactly how I was feeling…perhaps a little empty. Snape's face wasn't giving much away at all. His prolonged silence probably meant he was feeling the same way I was.

As much as I knew I would miss my mother, I believed that it was harder for Snape to lose her again. I knew he had been to see her many times without me throughout the school year. Though they had often disagreed, Mother had been the person Snape would go to when he needed to talk.

I spent the rest of the day studying for my History of Magic OWL on Monday. It was a little hard to focus; my mind kept wandering back to Mother. It hadn't quite hit me that I could no longer make the trip to Dumbledore's office when I needed to speak with her. The feeling was quite surreal. It was a little bit like how I had felt in the moments after Merle's death. There was a period of not quite believing what had happened. I wasn't sure how long it would take before it sank in that Mother had moved on.

I missed her already, but I knew that it was selfish to wish her back again; she had been waiting to be at peace for so many years.

I did my studying on the sofa in the living room. It felt a little too lonely to do it in my bedroom, even though Morag was there. Morag was still napping anyway.

At first I didn't think I would end up with company after all. When we had gotten back, I had headed towards the sofa, but Snape had gone straight into his lab. He had stayed in there for about twenty minutes and I had heard him preparing ingredients. Perhaps that was soothing for him. When he came out, he joined me on the sofa without a word and opened a Potions journal. I supposed he didn't really feel like talking either.

We said very little at dinner. It was not an uncomfortable silence; both of us were content to simply be absorbed by our own thoughts.

When we left the table, I headed back to the sofa for more studying. Snape pulled on his outer robe and addressed me as I reached out for my notes.

"Armilla, I need to see the Headmaster about a few things," he said, his eyes fixed intently on mine. "Will you be alright here by yourself? Answer honestly."

I nodded. "I think so," I answered. I still didn't like being alone without him, but I was determined to work on coping with his absences.

He nodded as he headed for the door. "I do not expect to be long." He gave me a hard look as he opened the door. "Make sure you contact me at once if you need me, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem."

I nodded. He must have thought I was still a bit delicate at the moment. He had pretty much said the same thing earlier, shortly before he had left for the Ministry of Magic. I was determined to be un-fragile as soon as possible.

I kept on studying after he left, pretending that he was really just in another room, and not far away in another part of the castle. I wondered what he meant by not being away too long. Ten minutes? Half an hour? An hour? I hoped it was less than a half hour. Having to deal with staying by myself was no easy feat.

Half an hour went by. An hour went by. I kept at my study, but after two hours had gone by I began to grow worried. I was sure Snape hadn't meant that he would be gone for over two hours.

Maybe he hadn't meant to be away this long. Surely if something had come up he would have told me. I pulled out my chocolate frog card and was relieved to see the wizard on the front waving to me, indicating that a message had been sent. I accessed the message and felt myself go numb as I read the message.

_Something has come up and I have to leave the castle. I am not sure how long I will be, but Dumbledore knows where you are and you can contact him if you need him. Don't sit up waiting for me. Make sure you go to bed on time._

If I hadn't being feeling so sick about the first couple of sentences, I would have laughed at the order to go to bed on time. He must have been called by the Dark Lord. He had to have been. There would be no other reason for having to leave the castle so abruptly.

How could I not worry? The Dark Lord would surely still be angry over what had happened in the Department of Mysteries. Some of his Death Eaters had been caught. He would probably know by now that my father had fled. How could I not be worried that Snape wasn't being tortured at that very minute over failing to answer where Father was? If Snape had an alibi, he hadn't told me about it. Not that I expected him to, especially when it came to his double-agent role. I just hoped he would be alright.

When I went to bed, I stayed awake for a long time, listening for sounds that would indicate my brother's return. The only sound I could hear was Morag's soft hooting from her cage. At eleven thirty, he had still not returned. It was after midnight before I realised that Snape would be furious if he found out that I stayed awake all night waiting for him. He would fix me with a stern expression and tell me that he had taught me Occlumency for a reason. Staying up all night would do no one any good.

Finally, I brought my shield up to push back all the frantic emotions and horrific images from my mind. As I finally fell asleep, the only sound to be heard was still coming from my owl.

o o o o o o o o o o

I awoke after eight o'clock on Sunday morning, feeling like I hadn't slept much at all. The use of my mental shield had kept nightmares from plaguing me, but I didn't know if I had just woken up to a real nightmare. It hit me that my mother was gone. I hoped that Snape would be back.

I hastily got out of bed and made my way over to the door. Snape very rarely slept past seven o'clock. I walked out to the sitting room and felt my heart start thudding when I found it to be empty.

I turned back to the corridor and breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw that the door was slightly ajar. It had been closed when I had gone to bed the night before. He was in there.

I knew better than to just walk into his bedroom. As close as we were, I knew he wouldn't appreciate me going in there to wake him up for no reason, especially when he had been out all night.

I went back to my room and showered and made my bed. After feeding Morag, I made my way out to the sitting room to find it still empty. Breakfast hadn't been delivered because Snape had said that we would have breakfast in the Great Hall. I was supposed to sit at the Ravenclaw table and deal with the anxiety of being surrounded by possible impostors, while Snape sat at the staff table. I wasn't going to go up there without him.

I turned around and nearly jumped a mile when I saw Snape walking down the corridor just a couple of metres away.

He smirked. "Scared you, did I?"

"How do you move so silently?" I said, getting over my shock.

"It's an art," he said dryly. "Acquired by few, and appreciated by even less."

I stared at him, trying to hide my smile at his ability to make amusingly snide comments when he had been out all night. Actually, it was probably tiredness that contributed to his fetish for sarcasm. I was thankful to see no visible injuries.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

He nodded, looking closely at me. "Did you sleep?" he asked. Trust him to turn the conversation around.

"Yes," I answered. "What time did you get back?"

"Shortly after one," he said, folding his arms. He gave me a knowing look. "Probably not long after you fell asleep."

"I went to bed on time," I said indignantly.

"Indeed." He reached out for my bandaged arm and unwrapped the bandages. He took out his wand a muttered a few spells, no doubt checking on the strength of the bones. Nodding in satisfaction, he vanished the bandages and put his wand away. He fixed me with an intense look. "Were you alright in my absence?"

I nodded, wincing as I tried moving the joints surrounding my newly mended wrist, which was quite stiff. "I would be better if I knew what went on."

He narrowed his eyes. "That was far from a subtle request for information."

I didn't answer. I just looked back at him, waiting to see if he would tell me anything.

He sighed. "I was called by the Dark Lord during my meeting with the Headmaster. I left the Hogwarts grounds and apparated to his side as quickly as I could." He gave me a stern look. "I will not disclose the main contents of the meeting, as it is not information you need to know."

I nodded in agreement. "I just want to know what he knows about Father," I said softly.

"That certainly came up," he said, suddenly looking ill-tempered. "Father has certainly fallen out of favour with the Dark Lord, especially because he won't answer his Master's summons at the moment." He paused for a moment. "The Dark Lord," he said slowly, "was not at all impressed that I had no idea about Father's current location. He had believed there was a degree of hostility between us for some time, so it was not too difficult to convince him that Father would not tell me such things."

Well, that was a relief. Snape's words gave a strong indication that he had been tortured though.

"As for _Lucius Malfoy_," he went on, his lip curling at mention of the name, "The Dark Lord is furious with him. I withheld my knowledge of the reward Lucius was meant to have, had he succeeded, and the Dark Lord did not suspect anything. All in all, it wasn't as bad as it could have been."

I nodded. I was so relieved. I knew Snape was only telling me the basic details, but I still thought it could have been a lot worse.

He moved towards the door. "That's all you need to know. Come, we are having breakfast in the Great Hall."

I wanted to ask him if he really was alright, but I was sure the question wouldn't be taken well. Snape had probably been through hard times with the Dark Lord on many occasions, but he was adamant that I should know nothing of the details, including any injuries he may have sustained during them.

Pushing back my question, I followed him to the door and walked up to the Entrance Hall with him in silence. He was quiet like he had been the previous day after Mother's spirit had been freed.

"I'd like you to come back down to the dungeons after breakfast," he said quietly as we walked over to the Great Hall. "There are a couple of things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Alright," I said, wondering what he wanted to talk about. It was usually something important when he requested my presence.

"When you see me leave the Great Hall, come and meet me by the dungeon stairs," he went on, his black eyes fixed intently on mine. He looked into the Great Hall, where a number of students were laughing and chatting over their breakfast. Seeing as it was Sunday, as well as the fact that exams were over, there wasn't a great number of students in there. "There are less people in there than usual, that should make things easier," Snape said quietly.

I nodded. "I hope so." I was already feeling a little nervous. Were there impostors in there waiting to transport me back to Father? I suddenly felt insecure. I only had my wand. I didn't have any of Fred and George's products with me that could help if such a thing happened again.

"You have turned white," said Snape, frowning slightly at me. "Are you sure you want to eat breakfast here?"

I nodded. "If I go back downstairs I'll feel fragile and that's the last way I want to feel. I'll be alright."

Snape looked doubtful, but after a moment's thought, he nodded. "Fine," he murmured, "but you would do well to remember that this fragility issue you have is a product of _your_ imagination only."

I nodded, feeling a little better. "I need to order a few things from the Weasley twins," I whispered.

The tiniest hint of amusement flashed over his face, but a moment later, his face was neutral once more. "I wish to speak with you about those particular gentlemen later this morning. In the meantime, go and join Mr Boot and Miss Turpin. They've been staring at us for the last minute or so."

I looked over at the Ravenclaw table in time to see my friends hastily looking away. They weren't that subtle at times either. They were now pretending to be absorbed in _The Sunday Prophet._

"You'll be fine," Snape whispered. "I will see you later." He swept off alongside the Slytherin table, his expression menacing. Students scuttled out of his way when they saw him coming.

I slowly walked over to the Ravenclaw table, trying to push away the slightly nauseous feeling I had inside. "Hi," I said, as I sat down next to Lisa. I pushed away the incredibly paranoid feeling that quite a few pairs of eyes were on me. It was just nerves…it was _just_ nerves…

"Hey Mill," said Lisa, as Terry smiled across the table. She pushed her copy of _The Sunday Prophet _in front of me. "Take a look at this," she said.

I looked down and found that I wasn't entirely surprised to see such a title.

_HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED RETURNS_

'_In a brief statement on Friday night, Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge confirmed that He Who Must Not Be Named has returned to this country and is once more active._

'"_It is with great regret that I must confirm that the wizard styling himself Lord – well, you know who I mean – is alive and among us again," said Fudge, looking tired and flustered as he addressed reporters. "It is with almost equal regret that we report the mass revolt of the Dementors of Azkaban, who have shown themselves averse to continuing in the Ministry's employ. We believe the Dementors are currently taking direction from Lord – Thingy._

'"_We urge the magical population to remain vigilant. The Ministry is currently publishing guides to elementary home and personal defence which will be delivered free to all wizarding homes within the coming month."_

'_The Minister's statement was met with dismay and alarm from the wizarding community, which as recently as last Wednesday was receiving Ministry assurances that there was "no truth whatsoever in these persistent rumours that You-Know-Who is operating among us once more"._

'_Details of the events that led to the Ministry turnaround are still hazy, though it is believed that He Who Must Not Be Named and a select band of followers (known as Death Eaters) gained entry to the Ministry of Magic itself on Thursday evening._

'_Albus Dumbledore, newly reinstated Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, reinstated member of the International Confederation of Wizards and reinstated chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, has so far been unavailable for comment._

"About time the Ministry started paying attention," I said, yawning as I reached for the toast. I looked up and nearly dropped the toast in my hand when my eyes met the cold eyes of Draco Malfoy. He had no expression on his face as he looked back at me. A few of the Slytherins around him looked subdued, but all the others were chatting quite happily.

I broke the eye contact first. I had no wish to make any communication with him, and looking at him also made me feel more nauseous. I snuck a glance at the staff table. Snape was deep in conversation with Professor Sprout, his face serious as usual.

"It all happened on Thursday evening," said Lisa, pulling the newspaper back towards her. She gave me a pointed look. "It seems Thursday evening was a bit of action-filled night."

I looked evenly back at her. "Your point being?"

She smiled. "You know my point very well, Armilla. You're just not allowed to tell us what happened. But there's a fair bit in the _Prophet_ here." She gestured at the numerous articles.

I shook my head. "I had no involvement in that," I said. "I _can_ tell you that. I was not there. No relation of mine was there."

They both looked relieved.

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes. Lisa turned the pages of the newspaper as she ate, pausing every now and then to read articles that caught her interest.

Terry looked completely lost in thought. His normally good humoured face seemed strained as he stared down at his porridge. He seemed more content to absently stir it with his spoon rather than eat it.

The silence bothered me. I knew that my friends were worried about the return of the Dark Lord. Now that his return had been officially recognised by the Ministry, everyone seemed officially on edge. Looking around the room, I noticed that many students were absorbed in their newspapers, theirs faces grim. Others were exchanging whispered conversations, and were giving pointed glances at certain students, most notably, the Slytherins.

I certainly knew that difficult times lay ahead. I had been through difficult times in the past year, but I had a sense that even more difficult times were to come. The majority of the faces around the Great Hall seemed to epitomise that.

Sitting in the Great Hall made me nervous. Every time I caught another student's eye I nearly jumped. In the end, I resolved to focus either on my breakfast, my friends, or Snape. My nerves weren't up to giving a nod of acknowledgement to other students around the room that I knew. The idea that impostors were about hadn't left me. It was stronger than ever.

"It's all starting then, isn't it?" said Terry quietly.

Lisa and I nodded.

"It started a long time ago," I murmured. "People have been too afraid to see what it right in front of them."

"The magical community has had a poor leader in the Ministry," Lisa added, shredding her toast into small pieces. "With no proper guidance we can have no chance in seeing the demise of You-Know-Who."

"So many were killed last time," Terry whispered. "My neighbour lost his entire family. What if…" He broke off, looking troubled.

"We don't know," said Lisa, reaching out to lay her hand over Terry's. "No one can tell what will happen. But now is not the time to lament what grievances may come." Though her words were noble, Lisa's face didn't express the same confidence.

At the moment I didn't want to think about such things. The thought of losing the person I had come to love more than I had ever imagined possible was unbearable. I knew that if I discussed the subject of the Dark Lord's destruction with my friends, I would not get by without Occlumency. As it was, dealing with each day was how Snape had taught me to function. It was how he got by, and that was also good enough for me. The world we lived in was too unpredictable.

My focus on my breakfast was suddenly interrupted by a roar of laughter from the Hufflepuff table. My friends and I looked over to see a number of first and second years experimenting with Weasleys' Canary Creams. The results had clearly amused them enough to ignore the tense mood that was in the air around the hall as a result of that morning's paper.

"Idiots," a seventh year Ravenclaw further down the table muttered.

His friend agreed. She gestured to the newspaper sitting on the table in front of her. "You would think that this means nothing to them. They should at least show some respect to the people who lost their lives the last time. Their time would be better spent on things other than silly joke shop products."

Personally, I disagreed. How could I not? One of Fred and George's products had played a major role in my escape from my father's hold. I also thought that those seventh year Ravenclaws were idiots themselves.

Yes, it _was_ frightening to think about the havoc the Dark Lord might wreak on the world, both wizarding and muggle alike. Yes, it _was_ important to remember those who had died the last time. Thinking of those who had suffered would only increase the strength of those who knew them, and that strength would aid in finding a way to defeat the face of evil. But wouldn't it be an injustice to ourselves if we changed our lifestyles so completely out of fear of the Dark Lord? Of course it was wise to be cautious, but did taking caution mean putting an end to everyone doing what they loved?

Did the return of He Who Must Not Be Named mean that laughter should not be heard? Did it mean that everyone had to be solemn? Did it mean everyone had to hide behind closed doors in fear? Who knew if the Dark Lord was to be defeated? What if we were still in a situation of the waiting game in another decade? Or two decades? Were people prepared to hide in their homes for that time? We were only put on Earth for a relatively short time…surely an evil wizard was not entitled to take away the most important factor: the quality of life…the right to _live_.

Many had died in their attempts to fight for that right. Seeing those little Hufflepuffs laughing joyfully over something the Weasley twins had made brought a smile to my face. However inappropriate their actions seemed to others, and whether or not they realised it themselves, they were _living_.

I felt a funny feeling inside as my mind made the connection between these thoughts and the problems I'd been having over the last couple of days. Yes, there _could_ be impostors somewhere in the castle, waiting to take me back to Father. But hiding away indefinitely and living in terror would not allow me to live my life as Merle and Mother had wished and as Snape still wished me to. Leading my life as normal as possible would not rule out any mishaps, but it would demonstrate that the evil spreading through the world was not going to ruin _my_ life. Mother hadn't died all those years ago to have me hide from my fears, which was what I had been doing lately. Snape hadn't spent all that time increasing my magical ability to have me give up in fear.

I didn't know what the future held, but I couldn't spend time dwelling on it. If hardships were set to come, they would be handled then. For now, I had to do what my brother's ardent desire for me was. I had to _live_.

I suddenly laughed, causing me friends to cast me odd looks.

"What's up?" asked Terry, looking at me as if I had gone mad.

"Not much," I said quietly, picking up my glass of pumpkin juice. "I was just thinking about Canary Creams."

o o o o o o o o o o o

"Well?" said Snape, when I met him at the dungeon stairs fifteen minutes later. "Was it alright?"

"Better than I thought it would be," I said honestly. It was true; once I had stopped focusing on my paranoia that there might be impostors in the room I had felt okay.

He nodded and gestured for me to follow him down the stairs.

There were Slytherins about as we walked through the dungeon corridors, so our conversation was limited. I noticed that a few of the older Slytherins looked absolutely ghastly, while a couple of others looked triumphant. The smaller Slytherins that we saw quickly moved out of the way to let their Head of House take precedence in the corridor, but once they were behind us, I heard them chattering away nearly as merrily as the little Hufflepuffs in the Great Hall.

Once Snape and I were back in our quarters, I voiced the subject that had built up in my mind quite quickly on our way through the dungeons.

"Are there many people in Slytherin who view the return of the Dark Lord as a good thing?"

Snape cast me a shrewd look as he sat down on the sofa. "I presume this questions stems from your observation of the Slytherins we passed in the corridor just now?"

I nodded as I sat down next to him.

Snape was silent for a moment, tracing his mouth with his index finger as he thought.

"I believe," he said slowly, "that what many of the students in my House say is very different to what they think. Contrary to popular belief of the others houses, especially _Gryffindor_," he paused to sneer, "a small percentage of Slytherins come from Death Eater families. I believe an even smaller number will go on to join the Death Eaters. Those who will join will do so out of being incredibly brainwashed or succumbing to pressure from their families." He stopped, looking lost in thought.

"There is another group of students who believe in maintaining pure bloodlines," he went on, "but don't believe that joining the Dark Lord is wise. There are many different views circulating through Slytherin, just as there are in the other Houses. There's no black and white in a war, Armilla; a walk through the House of Slytherin would show you that."

"I know," I said, nodding.

"As for viewing the return of the Dark Lord as a good thing," he continued, "a small percentage of students in my House would say that it is, and of that group an even smaller percentage would really think it. It's just for show."

"Slytherin students seem more complicated sometimes," I said absently.

Snape looked slightly amused. "That is precisely what I tell Professor McGonagall all the time, but she will not have it that the job description of Head of Slytherin is more intricate than that of Head of Gryffindor."

"I couldn't imagine that she agrees," I said, smiling at the thought of the two of them bickering over who had the harder job.

"No, she does not," he said, his lip curling. "I will admit that her job is taxing; where I deal with complicated students, she deals with brainless heroics."

It seemed that Snape and McGonagall would never leave the House rivalry to the students alone.

"Now," said Snape, looking serious, "I wish to discuss a couple things with you, the first being what happens over the summer. You will not, of course, go to Hogsmeade and board the Hogwarts Express like you have been used to these past years. As I already told you, I need to remain here for a couple of days to tie up any loose ends. I would prefer not to send you home by yourself for that time, even though Docky will be there too. Therefore, you will stay down here until I am ready to leave for the summer." He gave me a dark look. "The usual rules will apply. No _exploring_ under any circumstances."

"I don't need to be told that," I huffed. "I wouldn't go exploring."

My annoyance was further fuelled when it appeared that Snape was trying not to smile at my reaction.

"Moving on," he said, suddenly sounding very business like. "I feel I am in a bit of a predicament over you this summer."

Oh. That didn't sound good.

"I am overprotective and controlling in matters related to you," he said. "I cannot see this tendency changing in the near future and that is something you shall have to live with. My current situation calls for me to be this way and I will _not_ yield."

His face was so stern that I felt as if I was being reprimanded for something. I thought I could tell where this talk was leading though; I wouldn't be allowed to visit my friends over the summer. I had already expected that, and I had accepted it.

"I do not want you to leave the house this summer unless you are with me or another that I have deemed responsible enough," he went on, his stern expressing not faltering. "I do not want you staying with your friends or meeting up with them alone in public places." He paused, and looked expectantly at me. When I said nothing, he spoke again. "No argument then?"

"No argument," I said, looking back at him. "You said you wouldn't yield. I had already expected you to say that. I think it's fair and I agree with you." I wasn't just saying it to please him. The thought of being away from him for an extended period of time, even if it was at Lisa or Terry's house, didn't rest well with me.

Snape nodded. "I am glad you do. I may be busy with some Order business for some parts of the summer and I fear that you will soon become bored. If I can manage it, I can arrange for your friends to visit you at our home every now and then, but only for a day at a time."

I smiled. "That's okay. I can just write to them. I don't want you to put aside other things you need to do just so I can have friends over."

He shook his head. "You will need social contact of a higher level than receiving mail. I do not wish to keep you secluded if I can help it; it will make it harder for you to adjust to returning to school in September. I do not want you to become lonely."

"Why would I be lonely?" I asked incredulously, feeling a little worried at the same time. "Are you expecting to be away for extended periods of time?"

"No," he said hastily. "I do not expect to be away at all, except when I am called by the Dark Lord. What I meant was…" He trailed off, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. "Having you live with me for an entire summer is quite different to a weekend here and there, Armilla."

Oh. Now _I_ felt uncomfortable. Perhaps having me around for the whole summer would get tiring if he had a lot of Order business, lesson planning and potion making to do.

"I'll stay out of your way if you have things to do," I said, feeling a little guilty. He was right; devoting an entire weekend to me every now and then was very different to an entire summer. "I won't be any trouble."

He looked sharply at me. "I am not expressing myself clearly," he said. "I apologise, Armilla, if I am making you think that I want you out of the way. That was not my intent."

I shifted nervously in my seat, waiting for him to express his point.

"Don't make yourself uneasy," he said abruptly. "It is my fault. What I mean to say is that…I am hardly exciting company."

"Well, that's subjective," I said evenly. I felt better now that I understood. He was concerned about me having _him_ as my main company for the summer.

"I have a deplorable lack of talent when it comes to entertaining," he said, folding his arms, as if challenging me.

"You don't have to entertain someone who lives with you," I pointed out.

"True," he said, nodding. "But I cannot see you having the happy summer that most people your age would plan to have. My situation prevents you from socialising as you please, going on holidays or-"

"There's nothing to be done about that," I interrupted. "As for a happy summer…how could my summer not be happy? It won't be with Father, I won't have to see Draco Malfoy and I won't have a governess." I paused as I looked at his slightly strained face. "All those things aside, it will be happy because I can spend it with you."

He actually had the gall to look dubious! "Armilla, I hardly have a reputation for being good company. We have spent time together, but not months together where you have barely seen anyone else."

"I don't find you bad company," I insisted.

"But you'll basically have me as your _only_ company," he said. "All I can do is arrange for you to see your friends every now and then."

"I'd like to see my friends," I said. "But only because I want to see them, not because I want a change of company."

He shook his head. "I have always been a loner, Armilla. _The more the merrier_ has never been my motto."

"Nor mine," I said dismissively. "I like your company more than anyone else's because I never feel the need to say or do anything for the sake of being social. I am more comfortable with you than with anyone else, including the people I have known all my life. Staying with you for a day or a few months is all the same to me…I can't help thinking that. Being where you are is being at home."

He stared at me, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"Don't say I sound like a Hufflepuff," I said flatly.

"I wasn't going to," he said quietly, still staring at me. "You spoke your mind and I appreciate it."

It kind of worried me that _he_ was worried that I would get bored of his company.

"Besides," I said, smiling. "I'm sure Docky will be full of conversation."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Merlin help us." He seemed much more comfortable now. "You will have your holiday homework to occupy you for some of the time."

I frowned. "What holiday homework? I haven't been given holiday homework."

He smirked. "That's because I haven't given it to you yet."

I groaned. "You're making homework for me?"

He nodded curtly. "There is nothing worse than starting a new year at school having forgotten everything that was taught. You will go back remembering everything as well as things that have yet to be taught."

He did have a point; I just should have seen it coming. That didn't mean I was thrilled about having to do it. I would rather just read educational stuff than have to write essays about my interpretations of it.

"You will thank me in the long run you know," he said, giving me a small smile. "This is just one of the highlights of living with one of your teachers."

"Don't tell me the other highlights then," I grumbled.

"Fine," he said, "then I won't tell you about the duelling component."

That made me perk up. I loved duelling with him. "You can tell me about that." Okay, so there were advantages when it came to living with a professor, especially one skilled in defence.

"I think not," he said dryly. "It will depend on the quality of your homework."

I gave him an offended look, though I knew he was just teasing. "What are you going to teach me?"

"I have been thinking about what you said about being able to throw of the Cruciatus curse with your mental shield," he said, looking serious again. "It would be wise to further explore that and add even more strength to your shield."

"How could we do that without using the curse?" I asked, feeling a little worried. The mention of the curse brought back memories of the night I had duelled with Father.

Snape interlaced his fingers and put them in his lap. "I believe there are ways," he answered. "I won't go into them now because I haven't decided yet which path to take."

"Oh." As much as I liked duelling with my brother, it seemed that some tough lessons were coming up.

"I believe your studies will only take up a small percentage of the summer," he went on, his black eyes fixed on mine. "I want you to spend the majority of the time doing whatever you would like in the house…as long as you know I would agree to it."

I nodded. That meant no exploring without him. I was free to search through the room attached to my bedroom, which was full of my mother's old books. I could play the piano if I wanted…I rarely _wanted_ to play it but the opportunity was always there.

"What is going to happen to Mother's ring?" I asked suddenly.

"I would like to bring it home," he answered quietly. "What do you think about that?"

I nodded. "What are you going to do with it?"

"I am not sure as yet. I would like to spend some time experimenting with its properties. I am not convinced that the ring is now completely void of magic. After that…perhaps we could place in somewhere in the house…somewhere that was special to Mother I suppose."

Talking about Mother suddenly brought up another recent memory. After I had duelled with Father, I had accioed my wand from a pocket in his robes. When my wand had come free, a small violet and a photo of my parents on their wedding day had come free. I hadn't told Snape about it. Father had carried a violet because it had been my mother's favourite flower.

"What are you thinking about?" Snape asked, frowning slightly.

"Just a memory that just came back out of no where," I replied. I proceeded to tell him about what Father had carried with him. His face remained impassive throughout.

"Well," he said when I had finished. "He would do well to learn that his relatives aren't objects like the ones he carries in his pocket. We knew that Mother had meant something to him, but he never learned to appreciate her as he should have." He took out his wand and summoned something from the lab.

"Speaking of appreciating things," he said, as a rolled up piece of parchment came flying towards him. He caught the parchment and began to unroll it. "What I have here is a long list of ingredients and their properties complete with recommendations for certain combinations. Some are insignificant, but others would be of use to a couple of people whom I know you hold in high esteem."

I stared at him. "So you're admitting to having helped Fred and George Weasley?"

He inclined his head. "It wasn't so much as helped them…it was more of an ardent wish to avoid them wasting more ingredients. I knew when I first taught the Weasley twins that they were capable of a great deal; they just lacked the discipline and dedication for potion brewing."

I couldn't believe that Snape was openly admitting to helping two Gryffindors, and_ Weasleys_ at that. Snape generally hated anything Weasley.

"Their Gryffindor ways and general laziness did nothing to boost my opinion of them until I happened to confiscate a few of their products from other students earlier in the school year," he continued. "It was then that I decided that they could do great things for a world in turmoil, and not just in the way of _joke _products. The Knockout Powder they provided you with demonstrated that."

He paused, rolling up the parchment again. He then handed it to me. "I believe that some recommendations on this list would enable them to design even more products that would aid in fighting this war. I have not the time to devote to such things. The Weasleys have made it their business and I hope they will put this list to good use."

I looked down at the rolled parchment in my hands. "Why are you giving this to them now?" I asked. "Why not months ago?"

He considered me for a moment, his face neutral. "I didn't give them a complete list during their detentions," he said quietly. "I believed that many more opportunities would come to bestow more detentions upon them. However, I did not foresee the very abrupt and very Gryffindor exit they made. At the time, I saw no reason to give the list to them."

"And now?" I asked quietly.

"Now?" he repeated. "Things have changed. Giving them the list was not a high priority until a couple of days ago. When you told me about how those gentlemen figured out that I was helping them and gave you sample products in return as a way of thanks I was astounded. You made it very clear that your use of their Knockout Powder played a key part in your escape from Rougier." He sighed. "I am thankful that the Weasleys were considerate enough to think of you…if they hadn't, there is a chance that we would still be looking for you. You have no idea how thankful I am that you chose to carry that product with you. The Weasleys provided you with a chance for escape, and your good judgement and duelling skills got you out."

I nodded. "I am thankful to them. I've been thankful towards them before."

He raised an eyebrow. "When?"

"When other students thought that I was dark," I said softly. "Some of the people who joined the Dumbledore's Army group were reluctant to invite me to join because I was related to you." I didn't really like talking about a subject that had caused a dispute between Snape and I, but I wanted him to know that the Weasleys weren't all bad…or _Gryffindor_, as he liked to put it. "At the time, Fred and George had just worked out that you were helping them, and they wouldn't let anyone say that I was dark."

Snape looked pensive. "Well," he said slowly, "it would seem that those particular gentlemen possess a certain degree of loyalty to us."

I nodded. "They do." I looked down at the parchment again. "When am I supposed to give them this?"

"Late this afternoon," he replied. "The Headmaster has invited them back to the school to discuss the situation they now find themselves in."

"Why would he do that?"

"I believe the Headmaster feels a need to ensure that they have set themselves on the right path." Snape gave me a knowing look. "It also serves the purpose of allowing you to speak privately with them."

I stared at him. "You and Dumbledore set this up so I could speak to them?"

He nodded. "We did."

"And what am I to say to them?" I couldn't really go into the nature of how I came to use their product.

"That you had a chance to use their Knockout Powder and it was successful. In showing our combined gratitude, we are offering them a common Potions list and some things that _might _be of use." Snape's blasé look told me not to make a big deal of the Potions list. Fred and George would know what that meant. They had been given what looked like a common list the last time.

"They'll ask questions," I pointed out.

"And you will have the judgement to know what to say," said Snape, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't that how you handled it with your friends?"

I nodded. Snape was certainly one for springing surprises on me.

o o o o o o o o o o

I studied for the rest of the morning and early afternoon. I couldn't wait for my History of Magic exam the next day to be over.

Snape spent an hour after lunch in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey going over the potions needed for the following school year. It was another test for me to cope with his absence. I thought that I handled it rather well, but I had yet to venture out into the castle by myself. The thought of walking through the dungeons alone made me feel uncomfortable.

Late in the afternoon, Snape and I left the dungeons to head for Dumbledore's office. Though I was a little surprised with what I was about to do, I was also pleased that my brother now held the Weasley twins in higher esteem. As a rule, Gryffindors were near the bottom of Snape's social hierarchy.

As we were going up the stairs I could hear angry voices in the Entrance Hall. Snape, obviously hearing them too, quickened his pace up the stairs.

"-have left Azkaban. Dad and the others'll be out in no time…" That voice, which I recognised immediately, was coming from nearby.

"Yeah, I expect they will," another voice said, this one further away. "Still, at least everyone knows what scumbags they are now-"

"Potter!" Snape had reached the top of the dungeon stairs before I had, and the tone of his voice was icy as it rang across the Entrance Hall.

When I caught up a moment later, I saw Draco Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. Harry Potter was a few feet away from them. Harry, his wand in his hand, was glaring at Snape with a look of loathing.

Snape didn't appear in the least affected by such a look as he strode over to them. I followed, coming to a stop a few feet behind Snape. Harry broke his glare away from Snape as he noticed my presence. His eyes flickered on me briefly, his face troubled, before he returned his gaze to Snape again. I noticed that his face seemed quite flushed. I knew he had to be going through a hard time. Snape and I had just lost the spirit form of our mother, but Harry had lost a real person. He must have been missing Sirius Black terribly.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Snape demanded, sneering down at the Gryffindor.

"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry said snidely, his face intense.

If I had been at liberty to speak in such a situation, I would have offered Harry my greatest sympathies. I would have loved to curse Malfoy too. As it was, I kept my face impassive as I looked from Harry to Malfoy. I noticed then that Malfoy had been staring at me. As our eyes met, he quickly looked away and gave his full attention to his Head of House instead.

Snape was regarding Harry closely, his face unfathomable.

"Put that wand away at once," he said curtly. "Ten points from Gryff-"

He paused as he looked over at the House hour-glasses on the wall. A derisive smile appeared on his face. "Ah, I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply have to –"

"Add some more?"

We all turned to see Professor McGonagall making her way into the Entrance Hall through the open front doors. She was leaning on a walking stick with one hand, and was carrying a carpetbag with the other.

Snape immediately moved towards her. "Professor McGonagall! Out of St Mungo's, I see!"

I couldn't tell whether Snape was really quite happy to see her, or whether he was just making a show of being a supportive colleague and Order member. As far as I knew, Snape and McGonagall didn't always have the smoothest working relationship, especially when it came to Quidditch.

"Yes, Professor Snape," McGonagall answered, taking off her cloak. "I'm quite as good as new." She beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle. "You two - Crabbe – Goyle –"

The two great lumps dragged their feet forwards. In my opinion, they wouldn't have looked out of place on the front cover of _Magical Muddles_.

McGonagall thrust her cloak and bag at them and ordered her possessions to be taken up to her office. I thought the air seemed cleaner as sooner as they had gone up the marble staircase and out of sight. The air would be completely clean if Malfoy disappeared too.

"Right then," said McGonagall, turning to the hourglasses on the wall. "Well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You-Know-Who! What say you, Professor Snape?"

"What?" he snapped, looking most ill-tempered. We all knew he disagreed, but he sounded quite rude to me. "Oh – well – I suppose…"

We all watched as McGonagall proceeded to award points to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, as well as deduct Snape's points from Harry. I could practically feel the fury radiating from my brother's body as Gryffindors points grew to a decent amount.

Malfoy looked sour as he watched the rubies fall into the Gryffindor hourglass. Harry, if he had been any other Gryffindor, would have had a hint of pleasure on his face at the very least. But as it was, he just watched with an impassive face. After what he had been through, points probably no longer mattered. Winning the House Cup was probably not in the top five on his priority list.

"Well, Potter, Malfoy," said McGonagall turning back to us. "I think you ought to be outside on a glorious day like this."

Harry gave no answer. He immediately made a beeline for the front doors and didn't give us a backwards glance.

Malfoy, however, had not moved at all. He looked from McGonagall to Snape, a slightly defiant look on his face.

Snape merely raised an eyebrow. "I believe you were just given an order, Mr Malfoy," he said smoothly.

"I don't _want_ to go outside," he huffed. "I am perfectly content indoors, thankyou."

Honestly, must we be forced to put up with that whiny voice any longer?

"Nonsense," said McGonagall briskly, looking him up and down. "You look as if you need some sun and fresh air. It will do you good." She waved her hand dismissively at him. "Be off with you."

Malfoy opened his mouth to argue, but Snape spoke first.

"Go, Mr Malfoy!" he snapped.

Malfoy pursed his lips, staring at Snape with pleading eyes. But Snape simply nodded towards the front door, his harsh expression showing that deep trouble would erupt if Malfoy did not obey at once.

Looking very much like a sulky child, Malfoy slowly moved towards the front doors and was soon out of sight.

"I'd watch out for him, Severus," said McGonagall quietly. "Recent events may…_unhinge_ him."

"Thankyou, Professor," said Snape curtly. "I believe I am capable of dealing with him myself." He folded his arms. "I suggest you look within your own House for cases of unbalanced students…one in particular comes to mind."

McGonagall looked sharply at him. "I am capable of dealing with Potter myself."

Snape gazed at her through slightly narrowed eyes. "Indeed?" he said quietly. "You have his impulsive tendencies in check, do you?"

McGonagall opened her mouth to retort, but seemed to change her mind. She turned to me instead.

"I trust you are in good health, Miss Snape?" she asked, giving me a knowing look. As an Order member, she would have known a little bit about Thursday night…what Dumbledore and Snape thought she should know anyway.

"Yes, Professor," I answered, as Snape moved slightly so I wasn't standing half behind him.

"I am glad to hear it," she said, turning back to my brother. "Well, Severus, I am going to retire to my office for the remainder of the day. I will see you later."

"Yes," said Snape, nodding at her.

She turned and limped away. Snape immediately set off again and I hurried along to keep up with his long strides.

We were about to say the password to Dumbledore's office when the entrance was revealed and Dumbledore himself came out.

"Ah, Severus, Armilla," he said, clapping his hands together. "I was just coming to see what was delaying you."

"Professor McGonagall has just returned," said Snape stiffly. "I was speaking with her in the Entrance Hall. Malfoy and Potter were making a nuisance of themselves as usual."

"I see Hogwarts has returned to normal then," said Dumbledore brightly. "Come, Severus, let us go and have tea with Minerva. There is much I need to discuss with the two of you." He turned to me. "Armilla, you have a couple of guests waiting for you upstairs. I daresay Severus has filled you in?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir." I glanced at the staircase leading up to Dumbledore's office. I tried to hide my nerves about having to go up there by myself. It was also a little hard because I was so used to only going there to visit Mother.

"Armilla." My brother's deep voice caught my attention. I turned back to see him gazing at me. "Do you want to wait in the Headmaster's office for me or come down to the dungeons later by yourself?"

Ah, another test. I didn't want to look weak in front of Dumbledore. "I'll walk down to the dungeons," I answered, pleased that my voice didn't shake with the lack of confidence that I was really feeling inside.

Snape nodded curtly. "Very well. I shall see you in about an hour."

I nodded and watched as they turned and swept off down the hall towards McGonagall's office.

I stepped onto the staircase and it moved me up to the office door. I opened it and was surprised to see Fred and George not sitting in front on the desk, but instead sitting at a small table, helping themselves to tea, cakes and various sweets. Dumbledore was certainly a good host.

They looked up at the sound of my footsteps and jumped up to greet me, their freckled faces breaking into wide grins.

"Salutations, Armilla!" said Fred, grasping my hand and shaking it vigorously.

"Long time, no see," added George when he shook my hand.

"It must be nice to be back without Umbridge ruling the castle," I said, smiling back at them. It was really lovely to see them.

George rolled his eyes. "You have no idea." He rubbed his hands together. "But we heard that she is now in a less than desirable state, and we are pleased."

Fred nodded. "We're thinking of sending her some samples of our products…the ones that weren't so successful. I don't think she'll really mind having pustules on her behind for a week."

"Ew." I shuddered. I didn't envy Fred and George experimenting on themselves.

"Come and have tea with us," said Fred, gesturing to the table. "There's a third place set. Dumbledore wouldn't say who he had invited to come and see us. He just said that it was important."

"Let me serve you tea," said George, assuming a pompous air as he pulled my teacup towards himself.

"As long as you don't slip me something you've recently made," I warned. "I don't fancy going back downstairs looking any different."

He laughed. "Would I?"

"_Yes_," said Fred and I in unison.

"Come on, Armilla, I wouldn't do it to you, just like I wouldn't do it to Hermione," said George.

"Only because Hermione is dangerous," Fred muttered.

"You think so?" I said, thinking this a strange comment.

"Sure," he replied. "Hermione is extremely loyal to those she's friends with, but if you cross her you'll pay for it."

"You haven't crossed her, have you?" I asked.

"No," George answered, pushing my tea back towards me, "but others have. I reckon Hermione's got a bit of Slytherin in her."

I laughed. "I'm sure she'd be glad to hear that."

"No, no, _good_ Slytherin," he insisted. "Mind you, it took us an embarrassingly long time to work out that there_ was_ such a thing, but Hermione has got a bit of a cunning side. You're friends with her, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, as I reached for a chocolate biscuit. "I really like Hermione. Anyway, how is the joke shop business going?"

"Couldn't be better," said Fred.

"Best thing we ever did," his twin agreed.

"And I must say that Snape's help has played a major part in a lot of our most successful products," Fred went on, spreading jam on a scone.

"I'm glad to hear it," I said, reaching into the pocket of my robes. "I have something for you."

I held out the rolled parchment and George took it, looking askance at me. "It might be of more help," I said simply.

George unrolled it as Fred leaned in for a closer look.

"Whoa," said Fred softly as he scanned the long parchment's contents. "This is gold."

George smiled as he stared at the parchment. "It's just as well disguised as the last list was," he said. "I can only find the new stuff about every twentieth ingredient or so, but this is going to help a great deal."

Fred looked up. "How did you get it? Did you sneak it from Snape for something?" He suddenly looked worried. "It won't get you into trouble will it?"

I shook my head. "I assure you that it won't get me into trouble."

They gave me an understanding look. Their faces told me that they had realised that this had been set up.

"But why?" said George. "Why is this being offered to us now?"

"One of your products recently got me out of a tight spot," I said seriously. "I can't go into it, but my brother and I are grateful that I had it with me. It really showed what things you two are capable of and giving you this list will hopefully help in putting more helpful products on the market."

They both looked flabbergasted.

"I'm…glad it helped," said Fred finally. "It must have been something huge for Snape to be so generous. We've been so focused on coming up with jokes and products for quick getaways so we can't be caught red-handed…hearing that something we made helped someone out of a real sticky situation is just…"

"Surreal," George finished for him. It was weird to see the Weasley twins looking so pensive and shocked. "Can I ask what product helped you out?"

"The Knockout Powder," I answered. "It worked perfectly. I had been carrying it around with me ever since you gave it to me after Easter."

They grinned.

"Ah, a customer who strictly follows our advice," said George.

Fred looked down at the list in his brother's hand. "I can't believe this," he murmured. He pointed out one of the ingredients to George. "That one will help with that product we've had a problem with."

George nodded. "I was just thinking the same thing." He looked up at me. "Thanks, Armilla. Make sure you thank Snape for us."

"This list is invaluable," said Fred nodding. "We'll do our best to meet your brother's expectations."

"I think he wants you to use the list to focus on designing products that will help defeat the Dark Lord," I said quietly. "Not so much the jokes."

"We _will_," said Fred solemnly. "I assure you we will."

"And you know that you can't be open in acknowledging Snape over this?" I said.

They nodded. "We will find a way to thank him though,' said Fred, "probably in the way we thanked him the last time. So expect some sample products from us in the near future."

o o o o o o o o o o

I said goodbye to the twins nearly an hour later and headed back down the stairs of Dumbledore's office. Fred and George still seemed stunned beyond belief that Snape had gone to the trouble of arranging the list for them. I had left them with the promise that I would give their most heartfelt thanks to my brother. They also vowed to keep what was said to themselves, and I knew that they would.

When I reached the corridor again and the entrance behind me was sealed, I looked around nervously. I could see students off in the distance, walking in groups. The sun had started to set and as the torches on the walls had not yet become alight, the atmosphere around me was quite dim. The cold draught did nothing to lighten my spirits. Though I had vowed to not hide from the inevitable, the thought of walking down to the dungeons did not appeal to me.

But I had to do it. I walked a lot quicker than I normally did, and was careful not to brush against anyone out of fear that I might be port-keyed away. By the time I reached the marble staircase that led down to the Entrance Hall, I felt slightly dizzy out of worry and being so hasty in my urge to get home to our quarters.

When I reached the stairs that led down to the dungeons I felt even worse. This was going to be the worst part. The dungeons were where I had run into my father in disguise as Lucius Malfoy.

I took a deep breath and began to descend the stairs. My heart thudded with each step and I tried to focus on the task at hand – making it back to our quarters without being port-keyed away. By the time I had reached the last step, I had begun to use my Occlumency shield in order to keep my nerves intact. I felt a little ridiculous. To other people and to me not so long ago, walking through the dungeons would be no trouble at all. I could do it.

I kept walking, convincing myself that using Occlumency was _not_ cheating. By the time I entered our sitting room, I felt thoroughly exhausted.

The sitting room was empty, but I could hear movement coming from the lab. I walked over to the lab and found Snape standing at the workbench, looking at what appeared to be another list of ingredients.

As I moved into the room, he turned around and fixed me with an approving look.

"You made it back," he said, putting the list down.

"I wasn't sure if I would," I admitted. "I feel like a nutcase."

He smiled. "This will all be past you before long." He gestured for me to follow him and we went out to the sitting room and sat down on the sofa. "And how are the Weasleys?"

"Fine," I replied. "Well, at the moment they're probably still stunned. They could scarcely believe it when they saw the list. They wanted to make sure I tell you how thankful they are. They said they would prove to you how thankful they are in their new range of products."

Snape nodded curtly. "As long as they do. I assume their business is going well?"

"Very well. They don't regret leaving school early."

Snape snorted. "They should regret the manner in which they left at the very least. Such brazenness is never to be admired."

I watched as he accioed a package wrapped in silver paper with a blue ribbon from the table. There was a small piece of folded parchment slipped under the ribbon.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"A gift for us from the Headmaster," he replied. "He gave it to me earlier with strict instructions that we open it together." He took out the parchment and unfolded it. I scooted closer to him so I could follow on as he read it aloud.

_To Dear Severus and Armilla, _

_It is with such sadness and such joy that I write this letter to you. I wish to express my condolences to you both over the loss of your mother. I spent many an occasion in the past year conversing with Hazel and I now find myself missing our conversations. I know the two of you will provide support for each other during this sad time. _

_I also wish to express my most ardent joy at the opportunity the two of you now have to be a proper family. I hope the summer together brings you many memorable times and allows you to grow even closer. You would both agree that this past year has been somewhat of an adventure. I offer my sincerest congratulations for surviving such a shock. I do believe you must now view the whole saga as a blessing in disguise. _

_I offer you a small gift for which I cannot take credit. The idea of it belongs solely to my dear friend, Hazel, who suggested long ago that her children be presented with it upon her release from the ring. It was her hope that the two of you would treasure it. _

_Albus Dumbledore _

"He's certainly sentimental," Snape muttered as he folded the parchment again. He held out the package to me. "You may open it."

I took it and he watched as I carefully unwrapped the flat rectangular package.

"It looks like an album," I said as I pulled the paper away. It was a very thin dark brown leather bound book. I opened it and sure enough, it was an album. On the first page there was a photo of my mother as a baby with whom I supposed was our grandmother. Underneath it read _Hazel Ianthe Merrigan_.

"I haven't seen that photo in years," said Snape, looking closely at it. "I wonder where the Headmaster got it from. It's certainly not from our vault."

I turned the page and saw a photo of my brother as a baby, being held by Mother. I hadn't seen this photo before. Snape couldn't have been more than four months old in the photo. Underneath was the inscription _Severus James Snape_.

I was waiting for Snape to sneer at the photo, but he just looked at it silently, looking lost in thought.

I was a little sad that there would be no baby photo of my mother and me. The muggle area in which we had lived when I was born had been in ruins after the attack which had killed Mother. If there had ever been a photo it would have long been destroyed.

"You can turn the page," said Snape quietly, coming out of his reverie.

Feeling a little glum, I slowly turned the page. The sight I saw shocked me beyond belief.

"That's not possible," I murmured, as I looked at the photo of my mother with a small baby who was definitely not Snape. The inscription read _Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape_.

"What's not possible?" my brother asked, leaning in closer to examine the photo.

"How could there be a photo?" I asked incredulously. "Mother never mentioned one."

Snape shook his head. "I am not sure, but that is definitely Mother in that photo. Can you recognise yourself?"

I shook my head, still doubtful that it was even me. I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. "The earliest photo I have of me is one of Merle's at about eighteen months old."

We stared at the baby in the photo. Like Snape's baby photo, this baby looked no older than four months. The baby had very dark eyes like mine, and she was looking at her mother with a typical curious baby look. I noticed that the baby me was not yet wearing the bracelet. I could see it on Mother's wrist.

"What's that?" asked Snape, reaching for the album.

"What's what?"

"This," he said, as he pulled a piece of parchment out that had been slipped onto the next page, which was otherwise blank. Snape must have noticed a corner of it sticking out. Unfolding it, he read it aloud.

_PS. If you are wondering where the photos came from, Minerva McGonagall found them a while ago when she was going through some of her sister's old things in her vault. It seemed that Emiliana had been keeping them for your mother. I discussed giving them to you with Hazel, but she was adamant that they be presented to you in this way. She especially hoped, Armilla, that having this surviving photo of you with your mother would please you. _

_Albus Dumbledore _

"There you go," said Snape quietly, folding the parchment again. "It is most definitely you."

I nodded, having nothing to say. Having Mother plan this for us was such a touching gift. Though Snape was not likely to admit that he liked it, he certainly seemed to by his actions. He turned back through the pages, peering closely at each photo.

He paused at the photo of me and Mother. Mother reached down and playfully ran a finger down her baby's nose. The baby me smiled in delight.

"It is definitely you," said Snape dryly. "You still smile just like that."

o o o o o o o o o o

Dialogue taken from OotP: p. 750-752 (Great Britain/Australian Edition)


	74. Epilogue: No Regrets

Chapter 73

The end of the school year was fast approaching and though the return of the Dark Lord had dampened the general mood in the castle, there was still a respectable degree of excitement as the holidays approached nonetheless. The majority of people were determined to enjoy their last few days at the castle without any mishaps. With Umbridge still in the hospital wing, students and teachers alike were much more carefree than they had been during the days of the High Inquisitor's tyranny.

I had sat for my History of Magic exam without too much trouble. I didn't believe that I would have earned an Outstanding, but I was hopeful that I might have scraped an Exceeds Expectations. When I had voiced this thought to my brother after the exam, he had merely sneered and stated that he hoped I would not be continuing the subject at NEWT level anyway. Personally, I believed he had had enough of tutoring me in the subject. He much preferred to focus on Defence against the Dark Arts and Potions.

The album that Mother had left for Snape and I had not been placed on a bookshelf or put away for safekeeping. It still remained on our coffee table, next to the latest Potions journals and the day's newspaper. We hadn't opened it again since the day we had received it, but both of us seemed content to just leave it there. Perhaps the knowledge that there were photos of Mother inside was enough to leave it where we could see it. It was kind of comforting to have an object in our quarters that signified Mother. The ring, of course, had done that before, but now I could only associate emptiness with the ring.

I didn't believe that Snape or I were quite accepting of the fact that Mother had left us for good. It had become habit for us to go and visit her in Dumbledore's office quite regularly. We could no longer plan our day with Mother in mind, finishing it with "and then we'll go and visit Mother," just like we were used to.

Our acquaintance with her spirit had been for less than a year, yet it had felt like longer, for Snape especially I believed. It was strange how you could think of so many questions you wanted to ask after the person had left you. I had felt the same way after Merle had died.

I supposed going home to the Merrigan Estate would make things easier for us. We hadn't removed Mother's ring from Hogwarts and so we didn't associate her spirit with the house. Being in a different environment, though it was one Snape had inherited from Mother, might make the reality of the situation a little easier to deal with. As it was, Snape made regular trips to Dumbledore's office for meetings with the Headmaster. His mood often seemed darker upon his return and I was sure it didn't have everything to do with Dumbledore. I wouldn't have liked spending so much time in the Dumbledore's office; it was a constant reminder of where Mother's ring was.

I wasn't completely over having anxiety whenever I wasn't near Snape. I was doing my best to go places by myself or with my friends, and as my brother had said, it was getting easier. I had to get used to it anyway; being so near the end of the year meant that Snape had plenty of curriculum planning and staff administration meetings to go to. I had the choice of being alone in the dungeons or out with my friends.

At Lisa and Terry's urging, I had spent the last couple of nights in Ravenclaw Tower. I had initially been against it, as I now preferred to stay in the dungeons, but they had insisted because I wouldn't see a great deal of them over the holidays. Snape had encouraged it as well, pointing out that I was missing out on "whatever ridiculous post-exam games Ravenclaws engage in" in the common room. He also said that being unnecessarily secluded was not good for me. I had given in, after much internal anxiety, and I had found that I had enjoyed being back in Ravenclaw Tower with the other students. I hadn't realised how isolated I had been down in the dungeons. Snape had been right…as he always was.

On the afternoon the day before the Leaving Feast, I left Ravenclaw Tower by myself and headed down to the library. I was supposed to meet Snape down in the dungeons so I could help him with some Potion brewing for the hospital wing. He had sent me a message via my chocolate frog card saying that he needed to go to the library to talk with Madam Pince about updating the Potions texts. Apparently he was tired of reading the same outdated references in students' essays. He told me to meet him there instead and we would walk down to the dungeons together. He knew that I was still not comfortable with walking around the dungeons. It was enough that I was moving alone around the rest of the castle.

The walk down to the library was not the easiest walk I had ever endured, dungeons or not. Most of the corridors were deserted. Students were either outside in the sun or playing games in their House common room. Unfortunately for me, I ran into Draco Malfoy in the corridor leading to the library. Of all the people I could run into, it had to be the blond git king.

He didn't look anywhere near as smug as I had gotten used to seeing him. Having his father in Azkaban seemed to be dealing constant blows to his swollen ego.

"Armilla," he said, nodding at me, his face impassive.

"Draco," I said coolly, nodding back. I intended to keep walking, but Malfoy had stopped, clearly meaning to talk. I remembered Snape's orders to be civil, so I stopped and made eye contact with him, waiting for whatever it was he had to waste my time with. I made sure I kept at least two metres away from him. It had crossed my mind that he could be carrying a portkey. Maybe I was being paranoid.

"How are you?" he asked quietly.

Now he was back to the polite small talk? The idiot certainly baffled me. He went from _chatty_ to _pompous-potential-husband_ to _rejected dolt_ to _smug I-know-something-you-don't-know_ to _irritable prat_. He was now back to chatty. Maybe it was some sort of cycle.

"Fine," I replied, "and you?" I wasn't up to swooning all over him with my greatest sympathies that his father was in prison. The truth was, I was thrilled. Actually, the darker side of me wished that Lucius Malfoy had been finished off.

He shrugged. "Considering my current situation…things are alright."

I nodded. "That's good."

He looked at me for a moment, seeming to struggle to come up with something to say. It was unlike Malfoy to be short of conversation. I wasn't about to start being chatty myself. I wanted to leave him standing there in the corridor, but my obedience to Snape made me stay.

"Got much planned for the holidays?" he asked, looking closely at me.

I shrugged. "Not much planned at the moment."

"What about your father?" he asked, his pointed face sneering slightly.

I stared back at him. I didn't know what the families of the Death Eaters knew about my father's disappearance. For all I knew, Narcissa Malfoy could have been trying to contact him. Being unsuccessful, she may have put her son up to finding out where he was from me. Perhaps Malfoy was under orders from someone else to find out information from me. It wasn't widely known yet that I was no longer in Father's custody.

"What about him?" I asked, doing my best to be nonchalant.

"Aren't you staying with him over the holidays?" His cold eyes were fixed intently on mine.

"Like I said, I don't know what's happening over the holidays," I replied, giving him an annoyed look. "Why are you so interested anyway?"

He sneered. "Just making conversation. It was a simple question."

"And I answered it," I said lightly. "If you require more information then I suggest you visit your Head of House. He may be able to fill you in on what he thinks is your business to know."

He frowned at me. "You've gone back to being rude to me again," he said bluntly.

I shook my head. "I'm not being rude to you." I gave him a mocking smile. "How could I be rude to Draco Malfoy?"

His knowing look seemed to take my mocking smile as a shared joke between us that we were the most prestigious witch and wizard in the castle, which was my intention. Flattery could often get you where you wanted.

"I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic," he said quietly.

I laughed. "I wasn't, I promise." I wondered if I should improve my fake laugh…perhaps I should develop an evil cackle…hmm thought for another day…

"Well…enjoy your holidays," he said finally, starting to walk away, his face impassive once more.

"You too," I replied, walking in the direction of the library. I couldn't wait to get away from him.

I entered the library and saw Snape near the main desk conversing with Madam Pince, a thin, cross-looking woman who always seemed to have a displeased look on her face. Before I had gotten to know Snape, my friends and I had used to joke that the two were in competition for the most ill-tempered staff member award.

Moving further into the library, I caught Snape's eye and he inclined his head to tell me that he had noticed my presence. I wasn't keen to wait by his side while he talked to the tetchy librarian, so I decided to roam the various aisles of books.

Being so near the end of term, borrowing wasn't permitted, but students were allowed to come by to look up some references to use in holiday homework. Fifth years didn't have holiday homework; I supposed I was the only fifth year who would do homework over the holidays. I should have anticipated that Snape would give me homework to do. I couldn't be too annoyed about it considering that he was going to give up a lot of time to practise more duelling with me.

There weren't many students around. Most had chosen to abandon the library in celebration of the end of exams. I was convinced that Madam Pince preferred it that way. Students hated the way she prowled the aisles, pouncing on students who looked like they might be mistreating her precious books.

I was about to pass the aisle that contained books on Defensive spells when I saw someone who I had been hoping to run into before the end of term. Snape didn't like me talking with her where other students, namely Slytherins, could see us. It didn't help that Snape disliked her intensely too.

"Hi, Hermione," I said, walking down the aisle.

Hermione jumped when she heard her name. Her shocked expression turned to a wide smile when she saw me.

"Hi, Armilla," she said. "You startled me."

"What on earth are _you_ doing in the library?" I asked mockingly.

She laughed. "I'm not studying," she replied. "Well, not really. I'm thinking of ordering some books to read from Flourish and Blotts over the holidays and I was having a look at the newer books here to see what's worth purchasing."

I nodded. I supposed I was lucky to have Snape as my reference point all year round for learning new things. Hermione, on the other hand, was muggle born and had very limited access to the magical world during the holidays, unless she was with the Weasleys.

"I've been meaning to talk to you before the end of term," I said. "I haven't seen you around much. Have you been in the hospital wing?"

She nodded. "I was only recently released. To be honest I couldn't wait to get out. Madam Pomfrey…," she sighed and rolled her eyes. "I was so _bored_ in there."

I smiled. "You'd much rather the hospital wing and the library to be merged?"

She laughed. "Well, there's a thought," she said, her eyes shining.

"I heard that you went to the Department of Mysteries," I said quietly, as she closed her book and put it back on the shelf. "Has everything healed now?"

"I'm a little sore," she admitted, "but I'm much better than I was, thanks to all the potions I had to take. I daresay your brother will have to replenish a great deal of Madam Pomfrey's Potions cabinet thanks to me."

"That's his job," I said simply. "Are _you_ okay though?"

She didn't answer at first. She seemed to be thinking very hard. "Well…" she said finally. "I'm not entirely sure."

I nodded. "You couldn't go through something like that and not be feeling a little strange afterwards."

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I mean, there were others with me, and we can talk about it together now and stuff, but…" she trailed off, looking a little discomforted.

"You'll have to go home to a muggle household," I finished for her.

"Exactly," she said quietly. "Mum and Dad work fulltime, so a lot of the time it's just me and my own thoughts. My parents are as encouraging as they can be, but explaining the whole You-Know-Who stuff to them is not the best idea. They probably wouldn't let me come back to school."

I understood. All the muggle-borns at the school were probably having similar thoughts. They wouldn't be able to make their parents understand the crisis the magical world was in without being pulled out of school. But on the other hand, that meant that there was no one in the house to talk to about it, unless there were magical siblings.

"Are you going to the Weasleys' then?" I asked. Hermione had told me before that she generally spent a fair amount of the holidays at The Burrow, the Weasley residence.

"I think I might," she replied. "We haven't worked everything out yet. I don't know what's happening with Harry."

I glanced behind me to make sure Snape wasn't nearby. I couldn't see him from where I was and the muffled voices off in the distance assured me that he was still talking to Madam Pince.

"How is he?" I whispered. I knew Snape wouldn't appreciate me inquiring after the health of Harry Potter.

Hermione sighed. "Reluctant to talk about anything," she answered, "which I suppose is understandable. I think he wants to grieve for Sirius without talking about him to anyone."

"He's been through a rough time," I said thoughtfully.

She nodded. "I'm sure you would understand the feeling more than I would. Were you like that when Merle died?"

I had only told Hermione a few details about Merle. We had gotten to know each other in all the classes we sat together in.

"I didn't really talk about her to my friends, if that's what you mean," I answered quietly, picturing Merle's face in my mind. "It's an awful time to go through. I wouldn't try to bring Sirius up all the time with Harry. He'll talk when he's ready. Just let him know that you are there for support."

She smiled. "Are you trying to tell me not to nag him?"

I shrugged, smiling too. "Maybe."

"So when are you going home?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Probably a couple of days after the students have left."

Hermione looked like she was bursting to ask questions. It probably really irked most of the students that my holidays would be spent with the irritable Potions Master.

"I'm looking forward to the holidays," I said, giving her a knowing look that told her that I was not worried at all.

"Well, I'm sure you'll learn a lot," she pointed out. "Living with a teacher would have to bring a lot of benefits."

"Of course," I said, "though I'll have to spend some time replying to your letters."

"Oh, I had planned on writing to you," she said brightly. Her face suddenly darkened. "Are you sure Professor Snape wouldn't object? I am an insufferable know-it-all after all."

I laughed. "You can write to me, I promise. Hopefully you won't be too busy. Are your parents taking any time off?"

"I'm not sure," she said, frowning slightly. "Dad did mention something about wanting to go grass tobogganing."

"What's that?"

She giggled. "Oh well, you sit on a sled and you go really fast down a grass hill. It's loads of fun."

"I'll take your word for it," I said, trying to hide my disbelieving look. Really, muggles did like to participate in some strange activities. Sliding down a hill on a sled?

"I know it sounds strange," she admitted. "But it's a lot of fun, as long as you don't crash into trees or spiky bushes."

"Has that happened to you?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding, "I lost control of the sled once and ended up in a bush."

"Perhaps you should be more careful in future, Miss Granger," said a deep voice from behind me. Snape had obviously finished his discussion with Madam Pince. He looked down his hooked nose at Hermione with an expression of dislike.

Hermione looked a little flushed as she stared back at Snape. Once, she might have stumbled over her words in an attempt to explain herself, but she seemed to have learned to say as little as possible in front of Snape.

"The school year is nearly over, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly, regarding her through narrowed eyes. "What could you possibly have to do in the library?"

"Not a great deal, sir," she answered quietly, meeting his eye. "I'm just looking."

"Indeed?" He glanced briefly at the rows of books surrounding us. "Browsing through books on Defensive spells?" He looked back at Hermione. "Interesting subject matter, Miss Granger. Being apart of Potter's Dream Team comes at a price, does it?"

She didn't reply. She merely met his gaze unflinchingly. I just wished Snape would stop goading her so we could just leave. However, Snape didn't seem to want an answer.

"I would like four roles of parchment each on three Defensive spells of your choosing, Miss Granger," he said smoothly. "To be completed over the holidays."

Hermione looked stricken. "But I didn't do anything wrong, sir!" she exclaimed. "I'm allowed to be in the library."

Snape merely raised an eyebrow. '"Did I say that you were at fault, Miss Granger?" He sneered down at her. "Make that four Defensive spells."

Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it again, looking bemused. I could tell that she would approach the work in high spirits, as she loved to research, but she was still indignant at the situation in which the work was being assigned to her.

I felt horrible that if I hadn't approached her to talk, Snape wouldn't have given her homework. Maybe it was my punishment for talking to Hermione.

"Come, Armilla," said Snape abruptly. He turned and swept off down the aisle.

I mouthed my goodbye to Hermione. She gave a little wave, a high degree of bewilderment still on her face.

I turned and followed after Snape. When he was nearly at the end of the aisle he suddenly turned back. "And Miss Granger, five points from Gryffindor for presuming that you know the library rules better than a teacher."

Hermione's face turned from bewildered to annoyed.

Snape smirked, his job done, and he gave a curt gesture for me to follow him.

I followed behind him, trying to push away my fury at his treatment of her. I hated the way he treated Hermione, but if I made a big deal about it, he would just get angrier. I didn't want him to forbid my friendship with her. All the same, I wanted to clear up a few things with him without testing his patience. Snape didn't have a lot of patience when it came to talking about the _Golden Trio_.

I followed Snape out of the library and along the corridor in silence. He slowed his pace slightly when he realised that I was still trailing behind. We didn't speak until we were safely in our quarters.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked, as soon as Snape had closed the door.

He shot me a dark look. "Are you criticising the way I treat my students?" he asked curtly.

"No, but I was wondering if you gave Hermione homework just because I was talking to her."

He cast me a puzzled look as walked towards the lab. "That was not the case at all."

I followed him into the lab. "Then why the homework?" The man was so annoyingly hard to understand sometimes.

"Think about it, Armilla," he said shortly. "What are her essays to be based on?"

"Defensive spells."

"Do you think they might be useful essays?"

"Perhaps." Hermione could learn a few things that she might pass on to Harry. Harry had a flair for defensive magic.

"Perhaps?" he scoffed, opening the cupboard that held most of the ingredients. "Miss Granger will need things to keep her occupied over the summer," he said shortly. "I was merely providing it."

"How do you know she'll need things to do?" I asked.

Snape gave me an exasperated look. "I once overheard Molly Weasley after an Order meeting telling Minerva McGonagall that she invites Miss Granger to stay early in the holidays because her muggle parents are too busy," he said. "If she is to spend some time alone at home in the muggle world, her time would be better spent engaged in magical study. Not-" he paused and looked curiously at me, "What was she talking about when I found you? Bush sledding or some ridiculous thing?"

"Grass tobogganing," I said, trying not to smile. After all, only a few minutes ago I had never heard of it either.

"You think she'll learn something and pass it onto her friends?" I avoided mentioning the Harry's name.

Snape nodded. "I wouldn't have bothered otherwise. I couldn't care less how students waste their holidays. In the case of Miss Granger, though she memorises every detail without critical analysis, she might pick up something useful to pass on to the dunderheads she calls friends. I have learnt that sometimes the little things count." He gave me a significant look and I knew he was referring to helping out Fred and George Weasley. That had been a small gesture at the time, but it had ended up freeing me from Rougier in the long run.

"I've never heard you be so critical of how I treat other students before," he went on, looking sternly at me, "not even your own friends." He placed a bunch of ginger roots on the bench in front of me. "Tell me, what makes Miss Granger so special?"

"Nothing," I murmured, reaching for a scalpel so I could chop the roots. Snape caught my hand abruptly before I had reached it.

"I expect a better answer than that," he said sharply.

"I don't know what to say," I said, feeling a little unsettled under his sharp gaze. "You're not so against me being friends with Lisa and Terry. Hermione can't help being a Gryffindor."

He pursed his lips as he released my hand. "I know you're friends with Miss Granger," he said shortly. "That does not mean I like it."

"Harry Potter aside, does she really have that many flaws?" I insisted.

"I can provide a list of her flaws if you like," he said disdainfully. "They're extensive."

I frowned. "You mean I'd be better of talking to people like Pansy Parkinson or Millicent Bulstrode or,"

"I do _not_ wish you to associate with _those_ particular young ladies," he said abruptly.

"Or Lavender Brown or Hannah Abbott or,"

"Alright," he snapped, holding a hand up. "You have made your point. All those students have flaws like any other student."

"Why can't I talk to Hermione then?"

He sighed as he sat down at the bench. "I did not say that you couldn't talk to her, Armilla. It just worries me that a friendship with her, no matter how well concealed, might become exposed. It also worries me that if the threat of the Dark Lord was here or not, a friendship with Miss Granger could lead to friendships with more Gryffindors."

I contemplated this strange comment as I picked up the scalpel. "I'm not looking for more friendships with Gryffindors."

"You might agree that friendships grow unexpectedly," he said curtly. "I assume that you did not seek out Miss Granger?"

I shook my head. "That was an unexpected friendship," I admitted. "We don't socialise outside of classes."

Snape nodded, grinding scarab beetles. "I would prefer it if it remained that way."

"It doesn't help that you're awful to her every time you see us talking," I stated.

He sneered. "She needs to learn to take it. You may have noticed that she's a lot more thick-skinned than she used to be. I rather enjoy testing her out. As a friend of Potter's, she'll be targeted. Personal remarks cannot get in her way if she is to be of any use."

This seemed rather harsh to me, but I supposed Snape had a point. I wasn't about to question his methods.

"Just promise me that you won't encourage becoming friends with Miss Granger's friends," he said, his black eyes meeting mine.

I nodded. "I won't." It seemed to really mean a lot to him. I felt strange promising not to make friends with people.

"I know it seems an odd request," he said finally, looking a little uncomfortable. "It's just that I don't want you anywhere near Potter."

I nodded. The Snape-Harry-animosity subject was one I preferred to leave alone, as Snape liked it.

We were silent for a moment, both of us concentrating on what we were doing. I felt a little happier that Snape and I had managed to get through a conversation about Gryffindors without him getting _too_ angry.

"You know, Fred and George Weasley said that they thought Hermione has Slytherin in her," I said conversationally.

He rolled his eyes. "Gryffindors would tell you anything."

o o o o o o o o o o o

Saying my final goodbyes to Lisa and Terry came a lot sooner than I was ready for. I had just been getting accustomed to spending more time in Ravenclaw Tower and now it was time to go.

One highlight the evening before was watching Umbridge's exit from the castle. She had tried to sneak out during dinner, only to have her presence made known by Peeves. She had a rather undignified exit, and the staff and students were very glad to see her go. I had heard my own Head of House call good "Good riddance!" and the little Ravenclaw first years had chanted it over and over. Many Slytherins who had not been apart of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad had called out some rude things as she left, and I hadn't heard Snape deduct any points from Slytherin or use any sharp words.

I left Ravenclaw Tower with my friends, intending to walk with them as far as the front doors of the school. I wasn't allowed to walk down to the station with them. I was supposed to go down to the dungeons as soon as the other students were gone. I had finished all my packing in the fifth year girls' dorm the night before and so there was no need to go back to Ravenclaw. That was the wonderful thing about magically linked closets – I only had to pack all my things into my dorm closet and I knew I would be able to access them in my bedroom in the dungeons.

I had told my friends that there was a possibility of seeing them over the holidays; it just depended on Snape's plans. They had looked a little stricken at the thought of coming to our home; they saw enough of Snape during the school year.

"But it will be worth it to see you, Mill," said Lisa.

"I'm sure Snape would keep right away from us anyway," Terry added, looking hopeful.

"Oh, he would," I assured him.

"Are you nervous?" Terry asked.

"About what?"

"Spending a _whole_ summer with him?" He looked a little nauseous at the thought.

"It's certainly different to a day or two here and there," said Lisa. "I mean, it will just be you and him, for weeks and weeks and weeks."

"I know," I said lightly. "I really don't see the problem."

Lisa and Terry exchanged an amused look.

"If you say so," said Terry.

"Who would have thought," Lisa murmured, "at the beginning of fifth year, Mill, you were still with Merle and you had no idea who you really were…"

"And then your whole world turned upside-down when you found out that the snarky git was your brother," said Terry. "I mean, none of us would have bet on that in a million years."

"No," I admitted. "It's certainly been a year full of surprises…and challenges."

"But no regrets?" asked Lisa, looking closely at me.

I smiled at her. "No. No regrets at all."

We reached the Entrance Hall where a large crowd of students were mingling, exchanging goodbyes, swapping addresses and running off for forgotten items.

I saw Malfoy standing with a group of Slytherins near the front doors. Pansy Parkinson was standing at his side, doing everything in her power for some attention from him. Malfoy would say something to her every now and then, but he seemed more content to talk to Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini. Our eyes met at the same time and for a moment we just stared at each other. In the end he nodded his goodbye, and I nodded back. So long, twitchy ferret.

I saw Hermione surrounded by a group of Gryffindors standing near the Great Hall. Ron Weasley was making a face about something and Neville, Dean and Seamus were laughing hard. Hermione was talking to Harry, her face serious. Harry didn't look interested in talking at all; his attention seemed split between what Hermione was saying, and whatever ridiculous tale Seamus was now telling the group.

Hermione caught my eye and I gave her a little wave. She smiled and waved back. Harry turned to see who she was waving to and we stared at each other for a moment. Harry's face was blank as he looked back at me. I broke eye contact first, and when I looked back a few seconds later, he had turned back to Hermione again. I hoped she wasn't talking too much about Sirius Black to him.

The time came for the students to leave the castle and my friends and I watched for a moment as the students started filing out of the hall. It felt a little strange that I was not going with them.

"Bye, Milly," said Terry, pulling me into a hug. "Make sure you write. I'm going to be bored for the first week, helping to clean out Gran's attic. I'm going to need amusing letters."

"You never know," I said, when he released me. "You might find a surprise or two in the attic."

"Long lost relatives?" he said, grinning.

"Maybe," I replied, as I hugged Lisa. "Have fun in New Zealand."

"Oh, I will," she said. "Hopefully I'll see you when I get back."

I walked to the front doors with them and watched them until they were nearly out of sight. I could see a few teachers in the distance, my brother not among them, saying goodbye to the passing students. Lisa and Terry turned back to wave to me, and I waved back, wondering when I would be seeing them next.

Finally, I was the only person left in the Entrance Hall. It was a little strange not to hear the sounds of so many feet and chattering people. I turned and walked towards the dungeon stairs, hearing nothing but the sound of my footsteps echoing throughout the hall.

I had nearly reached the dungeon stairs when I heard a voice coming from above.

"No students, just the way I like it."

I turned and smiled up at Snape, watching him come down the marble staircase.

"One would think you don't like teaching," I said, as he came over to join me.

"Who me?" he said dryly.

"Can you hear that?" said another voice.

We turned to see Professor Sprout coming through the front doors, followed closely by Professor Flitwick and Professor Sinistra.

"Hear what?" said Professor McGonagall, who was coming down the stairs followed by Dumbledore.

"Exactly!" squeaked Flitwick. "Silence! Peace and quiet!"

"I love to see the students come," said Sinistra, "but I do love to see them go."

I was standing slightly behind Snape and it seemed that the other teachers across the hall hadn't noticed my presence. Except Dumbledore.

"I am sure Armilla feels assured of her teachers' dedication by hearing such sentiments," he said cheerfully.

Suddenly all eyes were upon me.

"Oh, I am sorry," said Sinistra, going red. "I didn't see you there."

"When I said peace and quiet, I didn't mean Ravenclaws, Miss Snape," added Flitwick, looking a little guilty.

Snape snorted. "There's no need for excuses. Armilla knows I've been looking forward to the last day, so it would come as no surprise that the rest of the staff have been too."

"Except you look forward to the last day on the first of September, Severus," said McGonagall snidely, a smile playing about her lips.

Snape gave her a thin smile. "Not at all, I assure you."

"And what exciting things have you got planned for Armilla over the summer, Severus?" asked Sprout, beaming as she rocked back and forth on her feet.

Snape sneered slightly at her. "No fixed plans yet," he said shortly.

McGonagall smiled. "Don't try and pry into his life, Pomona."

"You know Severus enjoys his enigmatic life," said Sinistra.

Snape narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. He merely folded his arms and stared back at them, looking rather bored.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Ladies, do not torment him. You know he does not appreciate it."

I hid my amusement rather well. It was funny see these women, who were all a fair bit older than Snape, trying to delve into his private life. It reminded me of Mother's persistent goading about his lack of a wife.

"Well, I'm off to give my classroom some heavy duty cleaning," said Flitwick, brandishing his wand. "It will help out the House Elves in any case."

This immediately prompted the rest of them to move on to whatever they had planned, with the assurance that they would meet up for dinner and end of term drinks that evening.

I walked down to our quarters with Snape, kind of glad for it just to be the two of us. I felt awkward being the only student amongst the staff.

"Hopefully we'll only be here two or three days and then we can leave," said Snape as soon as we had gotten inside. He walked over to the dining table. "I hate having to socialise every night with the rest of the staff."

"They seem to enjoy goading you," I said, joining him at the table, where House Elves had sent up a tea tray.

He grimaced. "That's the worst part of being amongst the youngest on staff," he said, sneering, "and being single. All the older women are obsessed with making pointed comments about my private life. I received enough of that from Mother."

"Are many teachers married then?" I asked. I had never thought much about it before.

Snape nodded, pouring the tea. "A number of teachers are married actually."

"But how can they see their husbands or wives when they're here?"

"They manage it," he said dismissively, passing me my tea. "Constant correspondence and regular trips home if they can manage it. It was harder for them this year with Umbridge in charge."

We talked for awhile longer before Snape left to go and organise the desk in his office. I didn't join him. The floating things in jars that lined his office still kind of turned me off. Instead, I decided to clean Morag's cage. Morag was extremely grateful to be allowed to fly around the sitting room in Snape's absence while I cleaned her cage.

"He'll be annoyed at us both, you know, if he was to walk in here right now," I said, watching her soar around the room.

She hooted in reply and turned bright yellow.

"Stunning," I muttered, as I turned back to her cage.

o o o o o o o o o o

We ended up only having to stay two more days. I helped Snape a fair bit, so the pressing things that had to be done were completed much earlier. While he was at more planning meetings or out ordering more Potions ingredients, I was using magic to clean the Potions classroom, stacking old cauldrons and doing general tidying up which Snape would have normally done himself. I was very keen to go home as soon as possible and I was doing all I could to speed things up.

I had attended a couple of meals in the Great Hall, where there was one table in the middle for the staff. Though the teachers were all very friendly to me and ready to make conversation, I couldn't help feeling out of place the whole time.

On the night before Snape and I were due to go home, Snape went up to Dumbledore's office for a small Order meeting. I had no idea who was going to it, but Snape had said that it wasn't a full Order meeting.

I had just gotten ready for bed when I heard the front door open. It was only nine o'clock; I hadn't expected Snape to be back for at least another hour. He had only been gone for about half an hour. I had thought it odd that a meeting was being held so late.

"Armilla," Snape called.

I went out to the sitting room to find not only Snape standing near the door, but Tonks as well! Her hair was bubblegum pink and she was wearing jeans the same colour as her hair. Her black T-shirt said _Handle with Care_ in sparkling silver letters.

"Wotcha, Armilla!" she said merrily.

"Hi, Tonks," I said, smiling back at her. I was actually trying not to laugh at her ridiculous T-shirt.

"You like it?" said Tonks, laughing at my amused expression. "The Weasley twins gave it to me because I had to spend time in St Mungo's. I thought it was hilarious."

"Oh, very witty," said Snape sarcastically, folding his arms.

"I'll tell them to get you one, Armilla," said Tonks.

Snape glared at her. "You will do no such thing, Nymphadora. I will not have Armilla walking around wearing something like that."

Tonks laughed. "As you wish." She turned back to me. "I just wanted to say hi, Armilla. Severus very politely invited me to come and visit you for a few minutes-"

Snape sneered. '"Actually, you invited yourself down here. I do not seem to recall extending an invitation you."

Tonks opened her mouth to retort, but stopped as Snape suddenly grabbed his left forearm in the place where his Dark Mark was.

I hated watching the strained look on his face when it happened. I couldn't stand it when he got called. I always had the worry that he might not come back after a meeting.

"Go, Severus," said Tonks. "I'll stay with Armilla."

Snape looked at me and then back at Tonks, his expression blank. "Armilla is capable of staying by herself," he said quietly, "but if you don't have anything else to do…"

"Of course she's capable," Tonks scoffed. "I don't intend on babysitting, not unless you offer good rates. This way I can stay with her and have a chat like I wanted to." She suddenly turned to me, looking a little guilty. "Not that you need babysitting, of course."

I smiled. I knew I didn't need a babysitter, but I was thrilled at the idea of having Tonks stay. I adored Tonks, and having someone stay while Snape was at a Death Eater gathering was comforting. I wouldn't be left alone with my own thoughts that way.

"Is that alright with you, Armilla?" Snape asked, opening the door.

"Yes," I answered.

He nodded. "Hopefully I won't be gone long." He turned to Tonks. "Do your best not to talk Armilla's ear off, Nymphadora. I don't want her up all hours of the night; I want to head off home early in the morning."

Tonks grinned. "Yes, sir."

Snape scowled. "Goodnight, ladies," he said, closing the door behind him.

"Such fun, isn't he?" said Tonks cheerfully.

"He'd burn the T-shirt if you got it for me, you know," I said, sitting down on the sofa.

She laughed as she sat down at the other end of the sofa. "You wouldn't wear it anyway, would you?"

"No way."

"Severus did tell me that you won't be going back to Aurelius Snape's," said Tonks. "He and Dumbledore told me about what happened. They thought I had a right to know since I was _so_ wonderful at playing Rougier's friend last December."

I smiled. "Mary Donahey was a great comfort."

Tonks wrinkled her nose. "I wasn't when Marcus Flint made a pass at you."

I shrugged. "I haven't lost sleep over it. He's not worth the worry."

"But you must be ecstatic at the thought of not having to go to your father's house this summer."

"Oh, I am," I assured her, "and Severus is just as pleased."

Tonks smiled. "I know. He wasn't sneering when he told me. That must mean he's thrilled."

I laughed. "So you're much better now? I heard you were injured in the Department of Mysteries."

Tonks waved a hand aside. "I'm right as rain," she said airily. "I was more annoyed than anything that I had to endure the inconvenience of staying at St Mungo's. There's nothing wrong with me now."

I nodded. "That's good then." We were both silent for a moment.

"I hate it when Severus gets called," I said quietly. "I never know if he's going to come back."

Tonks nodded. "We're living through hard times," she said quietly. "I suppose we're all worried about the danger our loved ones are in. Severus has a dangerous position, but he knows what he's doing."

I nodded. "I can't help worrying though."

"I suppose he tells you not to worry about it?" she asked, looking thoughtful.

"Yeah," I said softly. "He doesn't like me knowing anything about that part of his life."

"Order members have had discussions about such things before," she said. "Everyone has differing views about what the children of Order members have a right to know. Molly Weasley was adamant that her children know very little, but they insisted on knowing more than she wanted them to. Sirius Black on the other hand was keen for Harry to know what was happening."

"What do _you_ think?" I asked.

Tonks considered me for a moment, running her fingers through her pink hair.

"There are different ways of handling it," she said finally. "On the one hand, you can completely shield someone from it, like Molly wanted to, but I believe that can be detrimental. On the other hand, throwing a young inexperienced person into the midst of it can also be disastrous. We've all spoken about it at meetings more than once. Everyone has different ideas as to what extent Harry especially is informed. Severus has expressed his views more than once about how Harry should be handled, but of course Sirius would have none of it."

"Do you think Sirius would still be here if Harry had been treated differently?" I asked.

She looked pensive. "Perhaps," she admitted. "One could never say. Sirius was at fault for running off to the Ministry after Severus had told him to stay where he was." She gave me a small smile. "Severus found Sirius irritating to the last, and Harry isn't much better as far as he is concerned. Severus believes Harry is either coddled too much or given free reign when he shouldn't be. He is adamant that more control should be exercised over Harry."

"I bet Sirius didn't like being told that," I said quietly.

"Oh, Severus expressed himself more firmly about it after Sirius had died. He was furious that Harry had taken off to London with a bunch of students. He's convinced that Harry is just a foolhardy brat who always needs to play the hero."

Now I could see why Snape was so against me socialising with Hermione. He was worried that I would end up with the crowd that engaged in such reckless deeds.

"Will anyone take Severus' advice now that Sirius is no longer here?" I asked. "Does everyone think Harry needs more control?"

"Harry has a lot of pressure to meet with people's expectations of him," she said. "I think Severus is right in a way. Harry cannot move forward effectively if he only relies solely on his own judgement. He needs to learn from the experience of those around him. Remus can provide that, as can many Aurors in the Order." She suddenly laughed. "Lord knows I'd be dead by now if I hadn't listened to the Aurors I work with." She looked serious again. "Actually," she said thoughtfully, "I believe Severus can teach him many things, but the two can't stand to be in the same room as each other."

"I suppose the war calls for sacrifices," I said, "though I really can't see the two of them working side by side."

"Nor can I," she agreed. She grinned. "Before I could never see you living so happily with Severus, but here you are."

I smiled. "I couldn't see it either…and I'm not sure he could."

"Severus is one of the most complicated people I have ever met," she said, "and one of the most ill-tempered. You're probably the best thing that has ever happened to him."

o o o o o o o o o o o

Tonks and I talked for ages about everything from school to friends to the Weasley twins' business to the latest Weird Sisters scandal. It was after ten-thirty when I realised that I was starting to fall asleep. I hadn't realised that I had gradually curled up on the sofa, leaning back on the dark green pillow.

Tonks also had her head resting on her hand, her eyes half closed. More than once I said that I was going to go to bed, and then we would launch into another conversation. Eventually, we stopped and I found myself drifting off on the sofa instead.

I was brought back to semi-consciousness by the sound of the door opening and closing. I heard Tonks get up move over to the direction of the door, where Snape asked her if everything had been alright.

"Fine," I heard Tonks say sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Just after midnight," he answered.

"Is it really? I could have sworn it was just after eleven."

They were quiet for a moment before Snape spoke again, his voice a little stern.

"She wouldn't go to bed?"

There was a silence, during which I supposed both adults were looking over at me.

"It's my fault," Tonks whispered back. "We were talking before she went to bed, and in the end, she fell asleep here. I don't think she's keen on being left alone at the moment."

"I know," he answered, his voice barely audible.

"You couldn't possibly doubt the distress she would feel every time you are called away," Tonks murmured.

There was a pause, and then…

"I have no doubt," he whispered.

This was followed by yet another silence, and sleep was about to override my semi-conscious state when it was interrupted by Tonks' voice again.

"I can stay here with her if you need to see-"

"No," he said shortly. "I have done everything else I need to do tonight…" His voice softened slightly. "But again, thankyou for staying with her. I greatly appreciate it, and you know she does too."

"I'll see myself out then," she whispered. "I suppose I'll see you at the Order meeting?"

"Of course."

I heard footsteps, which I supposed meant that Tonks was leaving the room. I didn't bother to open my eyes to check. The overwhelming sense of relief I had felt upon hearing my brother's voice seemed to renew the exhaustion I felt.

Footsteps, this time heavier than those of Tonks, came closer to me. I felt two arms reaching under me, and as I was lifted, I blearily opened my eyes to see the dark eyes of my brother looking back at me. They were not the empty tunnels that I had once thought they were. They were filled with only love and warmth, not unlike the expression I had seen so many times in Merle's eyes.

"I'm here," he whispered. I had the impression that he was reassuring himself as well as me.

I closed my eyes again and in silence he moved into my bedroom and deposited me on my bed. He pulled my covers up, and then kissed me goodnight.

I opened my eyes again and reached out for his hand as he went to move away. He looked slightly surprised as he looked back at me.

"What's the matter?" he whispered.

"You don't have to go back for awhile, do you?" I asked quietly.

"I don't think so," he answered.

I sat up slowly and met his gaze. "I always worry you won't come back."

He sighed and sat down on the bed.

"It's the life I lead," he said. "We have to endure it as best we can. I never planned on having you feel the burden of it."

"I can't help it," I murmured.

"You're going to have to," he said shortly, pulling me into his arms. "You can't waste time worrying about me."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so," he said, stroking my hair.

I smiled, wanting to imitate my brother and declare that it was a far from satisfactory answer.

"Severus?"

"Mm?"

"One day you won't need to go back." I yawned. "One day you'll come home to stay."

He moved his hand up and down my back for a moment. "I look forward to it, I assure you."

I nodded. "So do I. I don't want you to leave me."

"As long as I can help it, I am not going anywhere," he said quietly, "especially not when I have someone to live for."

o o o o o o o o o o

A/N That's all folks!

I want to thank the many people who have stuck by this story, whether they found it when I first started it almost three years ago, or those who just came on board in the last couple of months. I know a lot of people cannot be bothered to leave comments, but let me say that this story only kept going because of those who did. There was a time in the beginning when I abandoned the story for about three months due to a lack of reviews, but I'm certainly glad that my urge to get the story written regardless won through. I particularly want to thank the wonderful people who faithfully reviewed nearly every chapter – I appreciate it more than you know and I hope you'll come back and read _Armilla_ again and again. I plan to revise a few chapters in the future to fix typos here and there, as well as little things that I don't like.

In regards to the sequel, at the moment it is likely to take place. However, the issue is _when_. It could be within the next month or within the next few months. I have ideas, but I won't start writing until I sit down and draft the whole thing out. I hate stories that are never finished due to writer's block, so I promise that I'll never do that to you – I plan just about everything. Anyway, I hope that you'll all come on board again to read about Armilla's sixth year. It will definitely be Armilla narrating again, and no one else's POV, though I've been tempted at times to do spin-off chapters from Snape's view, looking at events from_ Armilla_.

Thanks for reading!

Coral Grace.


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